“Listen do you want to know a secret
Do you promise not to tell woh woh woh closer
Let me whisper in your ear…”
The irony of that Beatles song and everything else, once you’ve told a secret, it’s no longer a secret because, really, two can keep a secret…if one them is dead. “Pretty Little Liars”, huh, more like Petty Little Liars for many politicians and too many others https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/01/14/your-genius-is-showing/. But not everyone!
Some wear their secrets as armor, others to get away with things, others to avoid embarrassment, but no matter the reason for your secrets, they’re toxic.
I get that secrets and lies are a thing, have been for as long as humankind has existed.
I naïvely thought social media would make it better. Wrong again, it’s worse (or just more obvious…more visible?). Now it’s all denials, proof, more denials, more proof…and so on.
Me, I’m an open book, what about you? Of course, at any given time only those two pages are really ‘open’.
When someone tells you another person’s secrets, red flag wavin’, don’t trust them with your secrets (or anything else).
“The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn’t one.”
At least chocolate never lies or keeps secrets…or maybe it does, who am I kidding, I don’t care.
‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring, er, you find a rhyme…
I’m really not that witty.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Oops, don’t have a chimney, hmmm…
Oh well, Santa’s magic, right, so who cares?
The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
(your business what you’re doing there).
While visions of shopping malls danced
in their wallets and heads.
I in my Soft Kitty PJs and the cat in the hat
Had just settled down to read,
maybe eat some cookies…
How about that?
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed (sprang is a complete exaggeration),
To see what was the matter.
It was just some drunk guy,
With his nose all aglow,
Shouting and singing,
‘Let it go, let it snow, let it go…’
The moral of this story is plain to see,
Please don’t sing outside my house
At Christmas, or any other time,
Even on key!!!
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss was correct (always, even if he might not have said this one, who knows, but he makes me smile).
Nothing can protect you from the storms of life, not enough the biggest umbrella (thanks Rhianna/Jay-Z, I’ll never get that song out of my head).
Put on those rain boots, galoshes, rubbers, overshoes, Wellies, whatever and go out and dance in the rain. Stand in it. Sit. Sleep.
Those storms are going to come, whether you fear them or not.
Change is going to come whether you fear it or not.
The lightning strikes of technology.
The rumbling thunder of racism.
The pelting hail of misinformation.
The sleet of corruption.
The hurricanes of hate.
The tornadoes of greed.
The slapping winds of regression.
Face them. Fight them. Survive them. But you can’t avoid them.
Ignoring something never made it go away. Get stormy, let your inner Mary Poppins out, and get on with it.
Too often in my life I’ve missed out on good, hell, amazing things because I was afraid. My fear stopped me. Siting on my shoulder, claws curled into my trembling flesh, cackling in my ear about how I was going to fail, how it wasn’t going to turn out anyway (it rarely did), I was going to get hurt, I was going flounder, or goof…
I was going to ruin things, even ruin my life https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/04/so-youve-ruined-your-lifenow-what/ I listened, avidly, to the voice of fear, so I missed out on smiling because it happened.
Much of what we fear stems from what we’ve learned, consciously or subconsciously.
Fear is actively used in: child-rearing, schooling, work, play, sports, politics, science, religion, movies, TV, books, business, and well, everything – then we’re shocked/surprised that fear rules us? Sometimes those fears are irrational and sometimes: “be afraid, be very afraid”.
So many fears…Fear of the dark comes from fear of the unknown (what’s out there I can’t see?).
Fear of strangers, immigrants, different races? Just people you don’t know yet.
Fear of snakes? Boo, hiss!
Fear of antiques? That gets old fast.
Fear of spiders? Sorry Charlotte, you know I love you (and your web), but you’re super creepy looking.
Fear of bananas? That’s bananas!
Fear of time? But it’s so wibbly wobbly timey wimey.
Fear of falling asleep? Probably good away after a good night’s sleep.
Fear of Trump? Well, duh, that’s rational.
Fear of failure? It has all happened before and it will all happen again.
Fear of success? I could live with that.
Fear of heights? You never want to get to the bottom of things with that one, but I could fall for that fear.
Fear of planes, trains, and automobiles? Really, it’s a hilarious movie.
Fear of books? What?!? The?!? No, just no.
Fear of fear? Nothing to fear but…
Yoda got it so right, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”.
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ~C.S. Lewis
Some days I feel I’ve lost something, or am missing something. In those times, I go about my life with a weird, niggling feeling gnawing at the base of my skull.
Slowly I come to the same conclusion, it feels like fear, but it’s grief. Loss of loved ones, loss of health, loss of what could have been, loss of civility, loss of decency, loss of honour, loss of dreams as they fade into changed expectations.
Yet, at these moments, “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” Jane Austen, my courage hasn’t always risen – I’ve been intimidated, dispirited, badgered, ruffled, browbeaten, disheartened, constrained…But sorry not sorry that’s a thing of the past (and it can stay there) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/
Fear is likely even part of my procrastination issues https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/02/07/after-all-tomorrow-is-another-day/. I’ve made a promise, to myself, to let my courage flag fly, I can’t always let them grind me down…
I used to believe if I tried to control everything I could control, even conquer my fear. That I could stop bad things from happening. Nope. The only thing I can control is how I react to fear. How I react to the bad things.
I’m out of control and loving it (when I’m not terrified beyond words).
Trust yourself. Respect yourself. Not the Fear. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/
And I hope you know, you can always stand under my umbrella (not with the Umbrella Corporation, they suck), or dance with me in the rain.
I had too much to dream last night…again.
I feel like I’m suffering from a dream hangover.
I woke from my confusing, at times, exhilarating Dickens’ A Christmas Carol -like dream (with Muppets), and again, filled with revelations. I was visited once again by Donald Trump who told me 3 others (the best 3 others) would visit that night. It was terrifying, he still wore the chains of greed, intolerance, and suffering he’d forged link by link…it seemed like there was more of the hairspray than grave about him.
When Colin Firth showed up as my Ghost of Christmas Past in the white shirt from Pride and Prejudice (you know the one, ladies), I thought, bring it on, this dream just got X-tra special. He reminded me that all things past are actually always still with us…
My Ghost of Christmas Present (what a gift) turned out to be my own insecurities, about: writing, parenting, weight (with all that weight I fear I may have lost my sense of humour…), and blogging mostly because WordPress gave me a gift for my blog anniversary/Christmas – less than half of you who asked for notifications to my posts are getting them and I’m not receiving a lot of yours either – oops; “Likes” aren’t staying Liked; and they ‘Unfollowed’ a bunch of you that I Follow – I think I have you all back, I hope. Don’t take anything personally and please, look out for my posts on social media –
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Where I’m endlessly baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The desert where I wander: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
I am here!
I am here!
I am here!
1. Christmas songs play everywhere but we need more Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron by The Royal Guardsman. Peace on Earth, goodwill, and about how even the worst of enemies can put aside their differences, if only for a little while…we sure need more of that.
2. Even on a crummy morning a gingerbread man still makes his bed with cookie sheets.
3. Christmas is about giving. Though broke and obscure I still believe in giving to others and weirdly, sometimes you get stuff back.
4. Not waiting in line for some guy in a red suit to make me promises, I’ll make some to myself and try to keep them.
My Ghost of Christmas Future was Norman Reedus, well, actually Daryl Dixon, (because it’s my dream and it gets better, he’s holding a cat reminding us to Shop Cruelty Free https://www.crueltyfreeinternational.org/ – that goes for people as well, cruelty-free)…and he showed me…
5. Christmas could be a little late this year, instead of making toys, Santa and the elves are already lined up to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi (I haven’t seen it, but I’m guessing it has to do with a Jedi).
6. The Christmas feeling could be there, even without the gifts, the lights, the decorations, chocolate (this one is iffy), turkey and toys, even without the Christmas.
7. Ordinary rules of time and space don’t apply to Santa or The Doctor (Doctor Who Twice Upon A Time – I’m not ready for Peter Capaldi to go and I’m still missing David Tennant), but they do apply to us, we only have so much time in this world.
Happiness and success can be measured by the joy and comfort we bring to others. Remember the good times, the fun times, the laughter, the kindness, the little moments.
If you don’t see me around here for a bit, I’ve checked myself into Clementine rehab (I can quit anytime I want) – one day at a ‘clementime’.
Merry Christmas to all and sweet dreams!
Bees’ll buzz and I’ll afford their organic honey cuz…I’ll be doing whatever rich and famous folks do…Sportin’ a healthy bank account, not blown away by emergencies. Da da… Da doo…A bah bah ba baba boo!
Attention and money are both so intense
Put ’em together, it never, ever makes sense!
Rat dadat dadat dadat dadadadadoo
Anonymity’s the best time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in ‘attention’ and I’ll be a happily overexposed attention wh…oh, umm, writer/blogger! So when life gets rough, I persist by frantically grabbing my dreams of not just wallowing in obscurity…Oh the sky will be blue and you guys’ll be there too!!! When I ever do what obscure folks do with attention!
Choose love, hope, peace, kindness (people often forget it’s free), laughter, compassion, family, friends, helping others when you can…naps https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/01/theres-a-nap-for-that/ and cake (not necessarily in that order).
In a world seemingly ruled by attention, how do you keep up (and why)?
1. Be interesting.
2. Interesting not enough? Try shocking.
3. Shocking still not getting enough clicks, likes, and shares in this attention economy? Try no-no-Notorious (sorry, Duran Duran apparently still holds some mysterious thrall over me).
4. Are you feeling like you should keep a single thought, event, or moment private? This is your dignity and self-respect rearing its ugly common sense head, don’t self-sabotage! Tell all! Show all! Don’t let fear of failure stop you from succeeding in your attention-seeking goals.
5. Toss aside burdensome personal and professional relationships – more will come along and if not, you still had your brief, precious moment in the spotlight.
6. Be committed! This isn’t a diet, gym membership, Netflix browsing (what day is it?), friendship, job, or relationship – this is serious! Getting attention isn’t for the faint of heart.
7. Stop looking for the meaning of life, you found it: getting attention.
8. Helping people is nice, but what if you can get attention while doing it? Fire, flood, famine, family, friends, fawning, fatuous, fake fads – all the new attention-grabbing fabulous!
9. Your life is for sale, stick a sign on you that says ‘Sold’.
10. Over 4 years ago when I started blogging I wasn’t thinking about the attention, or was I?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/
So I’m going to take my own advice, There’s No Crying in Blogging (there is whining thought, right?) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/
People think they want attention and/or fame, money, etc., but maybe what they really want is connection.
I’m going to stop over-thinking, getting in my own way, getting frustrated (good luck, especially with WordPress around), and enjoy the moment.
I’ll try not to think about awful people, instead I’ll think of the awesome people I’ve virtually met (and adore!).
Also, blogging is cheaper than therapy.
Slow blogging (Thanks Fibromyalgia!!! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/) isn’t getting me many clicks and likes, but I’m ok with obscurity and I give thanks for what I have https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/
And I can still dream…and can still afford chocolate, for now https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/22/who-moved-my-chocolate/
Something has changed
not the same.
I’m tired of playing,
someone else’s game.
Too late for second-guessing. Too late to press stop (oops, I hit Publish!). Time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!
Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I’ll never know!
I’m sick of denying gravity, now…I’m defying gravity!
Even by getting up in the morning…I’m defying gravity!Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna—, I wanna—, I wanna stop hearing ‘want’ instead of ‘need’…So I have a problem, something I have to face…To move ahead at a more novel pace.We need to not believe everything we read and not only read everything we believe. My fondness wish? That we hit pause, stop fighting about who’s right and who’s wrong. Simple, the facts are right; what if we’re all wrong?I want to read what I want…Not what’s fed to me by algorithms to feed greed, telling me what to read what to believe…What’s the worst that can happen? I go to Over-Readers Anonymous meetings (Are those a thing?). I can find books for myself everywhere…Mysterious buildings with ‘Library’ on the door. Bookstores, smartphones, laptops, tablets, family, friends, book sales…I’ll answer the siren call – pages whispering dreams, promising more and more.
I could say ‘no’, follow steps…Or stand up proud and say, “I’m a bookaholic, but baby, I wouldn’t have it any…other…way!!!” So I’m defying gravity! Carrying books, swaying, falling, spilling dreams…Onto me!Don’t try to pull me down; come with me instead. Think of what we could do, together…Just by saying yes! (You better believe I’m twirling…right now!).
Yup, books are wicked. So is TV. Definitely Social Media – Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. Fashion. Movies. Food. Video games. Blogging. Holidays (isn’t it Thanksgiving, oops everyday, then how about Halloween then?). Seductively luring us from reality, or are they reality? Whatever, to thine own self be true (note Shakespeare didn’t say to thine own selfish be true).
I’ve been trying slow blogging, er, being semi-unplugged? Whatever you want to call it. I enjoyed the time off, but glad to be back to blogging https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/ So, I know what I did this summer. I laughed, I cried. Got tired and inspired. Wondered and wired…all while we were on a break!
I got cozy with a bunch of women who find murder victims then conveniently pin the mysterious crimes on others. Thank you Julia Buckley (My latest booky joy, but hey, I’ve exhausted the library’s supply of your books, hate to be presumptuous, I’m hungry for you to write more http://www.juliabuckley.com/blog), Laura Levine, Ellery Adams, Leslie Budewitz, Kym Roberts, Edith Maxwell, Lee Hollis, E.J. Copperman, and more! The worst killer ever? Doubt.
What else? Cooking, games, philosophy, writing, yardsaling, Goodwill (bargain) hunting, weight loss, ghosts, organizing – even a guy claiming he’s so organized, he could move out in 20 minutes, hey buddy, slow down, are The Sopranos after you, I’ve had longer bowel movements (oops, TMI?).
I’ve recalled that the grass is always greener, not only on the other side, but over the septic bed, and if you’re using copious amounts of fertilizer (yes, even verbally). Which somehow made me want to reread Pride and Prejudice, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/28/these-foolish-things/ hard to do when being bombarded by pumpkin spice (is there such a thing as death by pumpkin spice?), but I prevailed and Darcy and Elizabeth (spoilers!) got together once again. Love rules, pumpkin spice drools (or does it make people drool?). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/09/you-may-say-im-a-dreamer/
I was once again reminded that life isn’t just unfair, it can be downright sadistic, so, as we weather the storms of life, change buffeting and sometimes battering us, try to remember, people are people, not toys to be played with, in person or online – if you wouldn’t like it done to you, don’t do it to anyone else.
I boldly went where no Blob has gone before, on The Orville, in a ‘Discovery’ of just how much Fox will pay to let Seth MacFarlane make love onscreen to Star Trek and all other things sci-fi and fantasy (I’m looking at Star Trek mini-ships and ET in my work area, I get it). I only watch each episode two or five times because they’re hilarious and thought-provoking, not because I have a tiny (huge) crush on Ed Mercer and Justin.
I remembered I’m a 100% unique…just like everyone else. It’s my own personal This Is Us, minus Justin Hartley (I miss Smallville, Passions, and Revenge) and Milo Ventimiglia (I miss Gilmore Girls and Heroes), sigh, shake it off, it’s 2017…
I was prodded into remembering the world’s two most important words (sigh): fine print. What you don’t know is more important than what you know or think you know…
I wondered how Moonstruck could be 30 years old, I just watched it yesterday. Cher and Nicholas Cage are still bizarrely mesmerizing and I want baked goods…and opera (I don’t suppose Hamilton and Wicked count?).
I was most definitely distracted by bloggers…and bloggers who wrote books. For example, Teagan (https://teagansbooks.com) was kind enough, even though she was going through a rough time to consistently give us the gift of her posts and another stimulating escapade ebook, Murder at the Bijou: Three Ingredients I (adventure awaits, flying by the seat of your pants!).
But wait, there’s more! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/03/sweet-dreams-are-made-of-this/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/12/15/the-cats-pajamas-birthday-party/ I’m not complaining, but where’s the sequel to Atonement, Tennessee (ok, I’m whining a little).
At times, I found myself so excited I couldn’t eat. Who am I kidding, chocolate and I started the summer in a serious relationship and I’m happy to announce, we’re getting engaged (oops, I ate the ring). Isn’t it weird when some people say stuff like, I was so excited or so busy I forgot to eat. What?!? There’s a way to forget to eat? Tell me! Now! Frankly, I’m too busy #Sheetcaking (Tina Fey dropped by SNL to demonstrate our technique; I think it has all the hallmarks of an Olympic sport – talk about defying gravity!).