Posted in Autism, Uncategorized

Neurodiversity Now

1autism8Autism is isolating. Not just for those that have it, but for their loved ones. It’s not always obvious or deliberate, it’s just there. People get tired of hearing excuses why you’re not available or why your child acts a certain way. Many try to be patient, but it’s a long haul.

The most subtle one I’ve noticed is being excluded from parental chats about children. Your child has special needs, therefore any pregnancy, birth and child-rearing experiences became null and void. Most don’t want to hear your experiences, advice, or memories. I have to guess they don’t pertain to them or they don’t want to think they ever could.

My understanding is this is mostly true for parents with other special needs children as well.  I suppose that is why parents, grandparents, etc. of children with disabilities end up talking to each other, form groups, etc. because they have a better understanding of each others needs.

I suppose it’s a fear factor or a subconscious furrowed brow that says why would I, with my normal child want to hear about your child?  It’s rarely intentionally rude, but it’s as though somehow if I give advice their child will magically get Autism.

I’ve generally learnt to shut my mouth (a difficult feat for me). Though apparently I have to listen about how ‘perfect’ and ‘adorable’ their child is each time they eat, drink, walk, talk, smile, and burp.  I guess I feel the same way about my child.

Somehow, some people believe my child is less because of his Asperger’s Syndrome. And yes, I’ve had people ask me if I would rather have a ‘normal’ child, not many, but it’s happened.

I don’t like to put people into boxes. What is normal? My child is different, but never, ever less. I suppose similar protective feelings cause their ignorant reaction, but why not just accept neurodiversity and stop making painful distinctions?

The intent of more acceptance by opening the world through communications, travel, knowledge, etc. was a noble aim, but I’m afraid intolerance is still very powerful. I hope it’s just habit, not our nature.

People with special needs or differences, challenges seem to arouse two reactions in people: one, a caring or protecting instinct. This is ideal, but not as common as we would wish. I am always thankful for these people as they add so much to our world, and the world.

Then there is the second reaction that is not exclusive to special needs and seen way too often: predatory.  They bully, victimize, abuse, demean, demoralize and are generally maltreat those they consider weak. This is wrong on so many levels.bullying1

Why the polar opposites? Their differences are like the canary in the coal mine for character, you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the most vulnerable members of a society. As it happens, those few sad apples don’t usually spoil the bunch.

Neurodiversity now.

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Very me

8 thoughts on “Neurodiversity Now

  1. One of my girlfriends once asked me if I could make a “neurodiversity” baby book, because her son didn’t have the same baby milestones as “average” (not normal, average) babies. It’s a project we are still working towards, as so many of the baby books available seem to only fit a small slice of the population. This makes me think that intolerance is more habitual than deliberate.

    As for how people treat the vulnerable? The most terrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life was abuse heaped upon children who were non-verbal, and unable to ask for help. I *try* not to judge others (really, I do), but in that case I just think cruelty to the vulnerable makes a person the worst kind of monster.

    Your baby stories should be welcomed. And your childhood stories, as well. My daughter’s dear friend has Asperger’s, and the stories those two tell me keep me on my toes and looking at the world differently – in the best way.

    Thank you, as always, for sharing. Hugs! 🙂

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    1. It’s sad how people can treat other people so poorly and sometimes so cruelly, if people could just accept differences and enjoy each other, the world would be a much better place.
      There’s no need to have a cookie cutter life for it to be a good life. 🙂
      Thank you so much for dropping by and adding your kindness and wisdom. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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