Category: Holidays

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, kindness, Music

You Gotta Make Your Own Kind of Christmas Music

Posted on by D. Parker

Nobody can tell you
There’s only one Christmas song worth singing
They may try to sell you cause it hangs them up
to see someone like you living your own kind of holiday life

But you gotta make your own kind of season
Live your own special song
Make your own kind of Christmas music
even if nobody else sings along!

You might be nowhere this season
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do

So you gotta make your own kind of Christmas music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kinda season
even if nobody else follows along…

Thanks to the holidays, Cass Eliot and all of my readers for the inspiration to be here!!!

The holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year, but for those without close family or friends (or if they’re far away), for those living in poverty, for people with chronic conditions, and other reasons Christmas can be: discouraging, dismaying, disheartening, and in some cases, dismal. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/. Life for too many has become an exercise in survival, with little in the way of comfort and joy. This season and every season I’m focusing on the simple things, the little things, I triple dog dare you to do the same.

So far my “simple” Christmas activities have been: Attending a relaxing and informative Zoom workshop about holiday card-making presented by: Paint It Out (http://paintitout.ca/) featuring artist, Salima Andany (salima@paintitout.ca) and Chronic Not Hopeless (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1875955569247115) – we gladly accept donations chronicnothopeless@gmail.com. When I began painting, thanks to an inspiring class taught by Salima, I only liked acrylics, they just seemed to speak to me, but during this program I heard the voice of watercolours and my art heart grew three sizes that day! For those wishing to spend some time with others with chronic conditions, our Chronic Not Hopeless workshops are accessible, positive, and everyone seems to have fun, what else could you ask for? Oh yeah, they’re free! For those who are interested there will be two more workshops this season, Wednesday December 6th, 2023 at 11am ET: Wreath Making and Wednesday December 13th at 11am ET: Ornament Making. Contact: chronicnothopeless@gmail.com for free and safe Zoom links, more info, supply list, etc. Hope to see you there and BYOB – Bring Your Own Beverages (no judgment) and most of all, your imagination!

To say the King Edward Choir Christmas concert, “Winter Lights” https://www.kingedwardchoir.ca/ at the Collier Street United Church in Barrie, Ontario (that’s in Canada eh) was a delight would be the maximization of minimizing. It was soaring, never boring! There was singing, our hearts were ringing! Who out there Believes Hot Chocolate Season is the literally most wonderful time of the year? The King Edward Choir must believe because when we boarded the “Polar Express” we heard: “Hot! Hot! Oh, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yo, we got it! Hot chocolate! Here, we’ve only got one rule: Never ever let it cool!”. People who understand my passion for chocolate, including but definitely not limited to hot chocolate understand why this song is near and dear to my heart and stomach…all the year through.

KEC invited us to sing along to wonderful Christmas carols then we listened to many lovely tunes by: Irving Berlin – We may have our love to keep us warm but heading into my first Barrie winter, I’ll also need warm clothes and hot chocolate after digging out of the “Snow, snow, snow, snow!” with my electric shovel as we head toward a hopefully white but not too White Christmas.

There was so more: Tchaikovsky; John Rutter; and they added a very contemporary tune, “I Want To Stare at my Phone Screen With You”, awww, how sweet, I really hope they can keep their 5G holiday romance charged all year long.

In 90 minutes (with intermission) we had ourselves an early Merry Little Christmas (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/11/27/have-yourself-a-merry-little-christmas/), with triumph voices rising. My toes were still tapping long after my hands had stopped clapping. Kudos to Leanne Edwards, Artistic Director/Conductor and Katie Pergau, Accompanist and of course the richly melodic women and men of the choir, including my amazing sister-in-law who added her honeyed tones, smiling face, and I saw some dancing/swaying too. If you get a chance to see the King Edward Choir, or other choirs where you live, please do, there’s really something about voices together, raised in song that brings peace and comfort in any season.

You can also join a choir because as we know, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” (Elf).

As luck would have it I entered their raffle (proceeds to the Barrie Food Bank) and I was one of the lucky winners of a very generous (and heavy) basket of goodies: wine; cheese; cookies; coffee; tea; a lovely and warm scarf; a wooden puzzle that’s driving me mad but I’ll get it, I will; many chocolates – I’ll have you know I still have some left, ok, I don’t have any left, but they were divine; etc.

I understand they raised over $1000 for the Food Bank! I certainly left believing in the Spirit of the Season. I’m looking forward to “The Armed Man: A Mass for Peace“ by Welsh composer, Karl Jenkins, which the King Edward Choir will be performing May 4th, 2024 (mark the date and/or look around you, there are activities, in person or online which you can do together or by yourself – I attend all kinds of concerts, plays, travel the world, etc. all from the comfort of my bed!).

Chronic Not Hopeless hosted a virtual Christmas book club, Chronic Page Turners – can you guess what the book selection was for December? “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. Still a classic. Who’s your favourite character from the book? What’s your favourite film/TV adaptation of this timeless tale of trauma and redemption? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/12/11/the-christmas-carol-awakens/

I waited until November 12th (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/02/christmas-comes-after-remembrance-day/) to start enjoying all the holiday season can hold. I’ve watched way too many Hallmark Christmas movies (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/12/02/24-days-of-our-christmas-lives/);

I had to watch “White Christmas”, of course. I don’t wanna wash my hands, my face, or hair in snow and I definitely don’t wanna shovel it, hmm, but snow angels and snowmen are fun. With this much snow you gotta learn to make some snow lemonade from those snow lemons…

“Miracle on 34th Street” (black and white version, so no blue teeth); “Elf”;

I always watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” with my son on Christmas Day (traditions of any kind can be fun and comforting)…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I hope you can celebrate or don’t celebrate your way, not the way stores, corporations, and movies/TV shows tell you to celebrate or not celebrate. So do any, all, or none of these. Go see some lights! Read a Christmas book! Write a Christmas book! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/

Bake some cookies, then eat said cookies, alright, alright, eat and share said cookies or swap those cookies (hey you at the cookie swap, don’t be that person)! Play some games: board, card, word, video, computer, whatever, just have fun! Make some candles or apple cider (not in the same pot)! Enjoy the crisp air with a moonlit walk (be safe, be aware of your surroundings, there are some naughty elves out there)!

Snap on those snowshoes (check your local library, you’d be shocked at what their Library of Things has, including snowshoes)! Swish, swish, go cross country skiing! Make some of your decorations and cards – homemade comes from the heart (also dollar, thrift, and craft stores and probably with some cursing involved)! Volunteer, give what you can, including your time! Watch holiday movies/TV shows, including but not limited to: “Die Hard”; “Happy Days”; “Gremlins”; “Gilmore Girls”; “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”; “Bridget Jones’s Diary”; “Downton Abbey”; “Scrooged”; “Seinfeld”; “Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas”; “The Golden Girls”; “A Christmas Story”; “Community”; “Lethal Weapon”; “Call The Midwife”; “Batman Returns”; “Murdoch Mysteries”; “It’s a Wonderful Life”;

“ELF”; “M*A*S*H”; “The Holiday”; “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”; “The Santa Clause”; “Meet Me in St. Louis”; “South Park”; “Cast Away”; “Will and Grace”; “The Shop Around The Corner”; “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear”; “The West Wing”; “Rocky IV”; “Black Mirror”; “The Twilight Zone”; “Going My Way”; “March of the Wooden Soldiers”; “Ted Lasso”; “Home Alone” (When are we going to admit Kevin just had bad parents? And thank goodness they were incompetent robbers.);

“Trading Places”; “The Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special”; if you can find it, the 1978 “Star Wars Holiday Special“; “White Christmas”; “Friends”; any version of “The Nutcracker” (but the Elle Fanning version, well, it’s ‘unique’); “Glee”; “Holiday Inn”; “The Office”; “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”; “Eight Crazy Nights”; “While You Were Sleeping”; “30 Rock”; “Meet John Doe”; “Mad Men”; “Bell, Book and Candle”;

“We’re No Angels”; “Remember the Night”; “Holiday Affair”; “Lost”; “Krampus”; “Black Christmas”; “Pocketful of Miracles”; “The Lion in Winter”; “Anna and the Apocalypse“ (nothing says Christmas like a musical romantic comedy with zombies); “I’ll Be Seeing You”; “The X-Files”; “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”; “The Bells of St. Mary’s”; “New Girl”; “Edward Scissorhands”;

Doctor Who Christmas specials; “Reindeer Games”; “Family Guy”; “Mean Girls”; “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”; “Babes in Toyland”; “My So-Called Life”; “Little Women”; “The Simpsons”; “The Man Who Came to Dinner”; “How i Met Your Mother”; “A Christmas Carol”, so so so many Grinches, Santas, Rudolphs, Peanuts gang, and Scrooges; “Love Actually”; “The Ref”; “Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever”;

“The Family Man”; “Bad Santa”; “Christmas in Connecticut”; “Holiday in Handcuffs” (this happened and we let it happen); “Bundle of Joy”; “The Bishop’s Wife”; “Parks and Recreation”; “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”; “Prancer”; “Bright Eyes”; “Love Finds Andy Hardy “; of course, “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” and soooo many more!

Visit someone who may be lonely at this time of year, or anytime! Go caroling! Make a gingerbread house (use royal icing not just icing, I speak from experience, the horror, the horror!)! Go ice skating or watch ice skating! Go out and have a Happy Festivus!

Make your own Advent calendar! Have a potluck dinner with family and/or friends! Have a Christmas pajama day or party! Remember to save money on gifts, food, etc. Knit or at least wear a ‘spirit sweater’ aka ugly sweater or a Ho Ho Ho hat!

Cause it can’t really still be all about the gifts after decades of watching “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”, can it? Can it?

Please, please, please tell me it means a little bit more. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/12/18/these-arent-the-gifts-youre-looking-for/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/

Don’t hurry, don’t scurry, don’t worry. Rest is best in a harried holiday season. What gets done gets done, everything else should be fun. So here, we’ve only got one rule: Never ever let it cool! Hot, hot, hot hot chocolate; find your inner marshmallow and melt into the season.

There’s a lot of division these days, mountains of snowy drama that seem to grow during holidays. Make your kindness like snow, let it float down and around, each little wonder covering hardships, drama, and woe. When you’re worried and you can’t sleep, count your blessings instead of being sheep, and you’ll fall asleep counting your drama-free blessings.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

See you in 2024, we’ll visit some more!

Posted in Holidays, kindness

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Wouldn’t Do That)

Posted on by D. Parker

And I would do anything for love,
I’d walk briskly right into hell and back
I would do anything for bloglove,
I’ll never lie to you and that’s a fact

And some days, it ain’t easy
And some days, it ain’t hard
Some days it ain’t happening at all

I’ll do anything for bloglove (but I won’t do that)…

Goodbye Meatloaf (gone like a bat out of hell)

I don’t know about you, but to me January 2022 felt more like Groundhog Day than a new start, but now it’s February so everything will be different, right? Right?

February started with the Lunar New Year aka Chinese New Year – it’s the year of the tiger, ok, I’m singing it as “Eye of the Tiger” and thinking of Monty Python, how about you?

What else is February (allegedly), for such a short month, it’s crammed full of expectations including but not limited to:

  • Black History Month (to remember, to learn, to grow, and to look to a better future)
  • Valentine’s Day (and National Impotence Day is the same day, hmmm, interesting)
  • LGBT+ History Month
  • National Library Lovers Month (having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card!)
  • World Cancer Day (to state the obvious, cancer sucks)
  • Random Acts of Kindness Day (again, you shouldn’t need a day for this, just be kind for pity’s sake)
  • Love Your Pet Day (shouldn’t that be everyday?)
  • Family Day (wow, how many times can I say this, should be every day)
  • Spunky Old Broads Day (bet a lot of Maxine cards are sold for this day)
  • National Pizza Day ( ummmm, pizza)
  • World Whale Day ,as opposed to Worldly Whale Day (très magnifique whales, hmm, wonder if worldly whales would play Wordle?)
  • Read to Your Child Day (Every. Single. Day.)
  • Extraterrestrial Culture Day

2022 is not a Leap Year, so February 2022 has only 28 days, oh no, but hopefully not 28 Days Later, fast zombies are scary, speaking of, guess who’s coming back and with fast zombies, “The Walking Dead”. February has more, but I don’t want to be a bore!

February will come and go in the blink of an eye, pushing into March. My year of chronic change marches on, topsy turvy with all the moving; organizing; growing “Chronic Not Hopeless” (chronicnothopeless@gmail.com https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/); getting addicted to “Among Us”; reading, reading, reading, so much reading; writing; snow, so much snow, eh…

Watching: “The Gilded Age”, “Midsomer Murders”, “1883”, “Snowpiercer”, “Stay Close”, “What We Do in the Shadows”, “Shetland”, “The Expanse”, “Vera”, “The Great”, “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure”, “The Eternals” (we’ve waited 7000 years for this movie, ha, Marvel/Disney, more like it felt like 7000 years watching this movie, wow); waiting for the return of “The Walking Dead”, waiting for the return of “The Orville”, waiting for common sense/#kindness to poke it’s head out and return us to a better reality.

Here’s what’s happened so far…

In August, it was a difficult decision, but I had to break up with myself 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/

In September I asked “What If…?”

 https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/09/29/what-if/

Then in October I knew that “Sweet Screams (Are Made of This) 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/10/29/sweet-screams-are-made-of-this/

Then in the midst of November chaos came calm 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/11/27/have-yourself-a-merry-little-christmas/

Counted down in many ways in December 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/12/02/24-days-of-our-christmas-lives

Shared tips to save

In January I shared ways I’ve learned to save money, of course, if there was affordable housing and even slightly less corporate greed scraping pennies wouldn’t be as necessary. People’s health would be better, physical as well as mental health. I also did a presentation about how to save money for “Chronic Not Hopeless”, a grassroots support group for people with chronic conditions, here for each other because when one of us shines, we all shine.

Contact/get links to Zoom events/volunteer/suggestions/questions/resources/donate:

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2022/01/21/cant-buy-me-love/

Wishing you and yours a safe, happy, and fact-based March, hope it treats you kindly.

Posted in Christmas, Holidays

24 Days of Our #Christmas Lives

Posted on by D. Parker

Since life now seems a never-ending soap opera I wondered what would it be like this Christmas, Like sands through the Christmas hourglass, so are the 24 Days of our Christmas lives. On the 24th day of our Christmas lives, adulting gave to me, 24 bills a comin’, endless housework that needs donin’, and not nearly enough funin’.

On the 23rd day of our Christmas lives, fear of scarcity gave to me, 23 Supply Chains a Squeezing. I hope everyone gets their medications, food, medical supplies and equipment, and other important items, but I’m kinda bored hearing about the supply chain issues “ruining” Christmas. If you don’t get all your extras, your wants (not needs, wants) by Christmas and that feels “ruined”, you’re doing Christmas wrong. Also, setting a poor example for children of what Christmas and life should be. It shouldn’t matter if Christmas can or can’t come from a store, the holidays and life in general should mean a whole lot more.

Hmmm, quick math question, how many shipping containers of “Spiderman”; The Mandalorian’s ‘Baby Yoda’/Grogu/The Child (ok, turns out he’s not a baby, he’s like 50, ok, not as cute, but still…); Marvel’; Lego; “Squid Game” merch can they unload per hour? What if you don’t get that new Apple watch? Or a PS5? XBox? Christmas is one day, there are another 364 of them all year. Find a way to help others all the year through…This is the way.

On the 22nd day of our Christmas lives, all-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder gave to me, 22 Ugly Christmas Sweaters – the official charity for this is “Save The Children” so you can do good and look good all at once!

On the 21th day of our Christmas lives, still more things to recharge gave to me, 21 Rechargeable hand warmers, or as we used to call it, rubbing your cold hands together and your breath blowing on your own hands. Also, gloves and mittens, those are good too, I was born in Northern Ontario, “Frozen” meant something different then. Let it snow, let it snow…

On the 20th day of our Christmas lives, the neverending gift of IBS gave to me, 20 Alternative Milk Makers – should I go with the cow joke, or the dirty joke, or combine them? I’m udderly at a loss. Don’t unfollow me. 😉

On the 19th day of our Christmas lives, hunger gave to me, 19 Protein bowls, umm, are we eating the bowls and how is that protein?

On the 18th day of our Christmas lives, the Sandman gave to me, 18 Shredded memory foam pillows – wait, are the pillows shredded? Or are my memories shredded? Does this involve exercising your abs? I’m so in the weeds here.

On the 17th day of our Christmas lives, #booklove gave to me, 17 Books to read while cuddled up with a cup of tea. Just read what you wanna read, forget lists, awards, how many copies it’s sold, and marketing, just read what you want to read. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/

On the 16th day of our Christmas lives, eye-rolling gave to me, 16 Cashmere beanies (cause some folks need to look like a pretentious poser, unironically).

On the 15th day of our Christmas lives, products of Christmas Past gave to me, 15 Gucci Belt Bags, aka, a fanny pack. Call it what it is. Raid your parents or grandparents’ closet, the Goodwill, or the bargain bin at Walmart, but call it what it is. Wear it with pride, be your inner “Stranger Things” character roll, come on, wear your ’80s nerd flag proudly – it’s a fanny pack no matter how much you pay for it.

On the 14th day of our Christmas lives, Hallmark gave to me, 14 “New” Hallmark Christmas movies. They say like 40 “new movies”, but I’m being generous by even saying 14 “new” – I do not think that word means what you think it means. Hallmark, did you really start the “Countdown to Christmas” on October 22nd? Son of a nutcracker, what the actual fudge!

Let me see if I can make completely random predictions having never watched dozens of Hallmark movies, so again, totally random predictions of some things that could possibly be in some Hallmark movies in 2021.

  • Spontaneous snowball fights with totally real snow.
  • Finding the right Christmas tree.
  • Decorating “homemade” cookies that are clearly store-bought.
  • A misunderstanding and/or a “crisis”; insurmountable odds that become suddenly surmountable.
  • Love at first sight, well, unless it’s hate at first sight that turns to love after hate at first sight. None of that sounds right.
  • A sudden proposal, cause why not marry someone you just met and barely know?
  • Really new, expensive cars often driven by folks who are allegedly poor (I do not think that word means what they think it means). Same goes for their wardrobes (you need 4 expensive winter coats for a 3-day weekend?) and houses worth a cool 1.5 million and in a small town.
  • A mysterious guy who may or may not be Santa.
  • Actors and actresses that are refugees from 80s, 90s and 2000s TV shows, look vaguely like other people, or were almost famous at some point in time. They’re smart Christmas cookies though, as they know Christmas movies are played way more often than other movies…except maybe “Independence Day”, but hey, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum do,uh, uh, uh, save the world from aliens in that classic documentary.
  • Canada Post mail boxes in American towns, which may explain why our mail is so slow, hmmm.
  • Possibly a Prince, or Princess, secret millionaire, incognito actor, singer, writer and/or or long-lost relative who could be royalty or rich, or all of the above.
  • Christmas events that are planned, funded, and executed about a week before Christmas. Cause that’s totally how event planning works, right?
  • Mistletoe versus holly debates – whoever wins, we lose.
  • Gazebos, so many gazebos, tiny ice rinks, and Christmas markets/fairs.
  • The only theme for any party or festival is “Winter Wonderland” apparently and there’s an unhealthy obsession with candy canes; eggnog; gingerbread cookies and gingerbread houses; Christmas lights; tiny trains; big trains; wreaths; S’mores; caroling; bows; ornaments (especially, surprise surprise Hallmark ornaments, wow, who saw that coming?), Christmas cards (guess who again?), nutcrackers and hot stuff – hot apple cider, hot cocoa, hot chocolate…
  • A Christmas ghost, or Christmas angel, or Christmas angel ghost, or Christmas ghost angel (beware the weeping Christmas angels? You know I had to slide a “Doctor Who” reference in there, but not “Doctor Who Flux”, wait, is that cause The Doctor is female now, whoa…).
  • The almost kiss and then finally, “The Kiss”, usually out in totally real snow.

On the 13th day of our Christmas lives, olfactory sensitivities gave to me, 13 Eau de parfum or is it perfume, fragrances, eau de toilet (perfect name, it smells like a toilet to me), cologne, or whatever the heck people are smelling themselves up with these days. Suggestion: Shower for you, mask (not just for COVID) for me.

On the 12th day of our Christmas lives, a constant need to get stuff sent mailed to me, 12 Monthly subscriptions…cake, tea, streaming, fruit, coffee, jam, cookies, popcorn, pasta, cheese, meat, spices, candy, cupcakes, wine, beer, cocktails, toys, games, puzzles, beauty products, socks, books, eBooks, audiobooks, weed, seeds, music, clothes, meals, crafts, jewelry, tech, candles, art, survival gear/prepper stuff (not looking so crazy now, huh?), plants, stamps, flowers – if you can dream it, it can be sent, streamed or downloaded to you!

A Christmas Stuff Story.

On the 11th day of our Christmas lives, portability gave to me, 11 portable campfires to make 11 portable S’mores and drinking tea from 11 portable smart mugs. Wow, that’s a lot!

On the 10th day of our Christmas lives, Marvel Cinematic Universe gave to me, 10 Rings of Shang-Chi (seriously awesome Marvel movie, let’s pretend “The Eternals” never happened).

On the 9th day of our Christmas lives, the need to connect gave to me, 9 Friendship lamps! You can glow together no matter how far apart you are…I can’t even, why not call, text, email, write a letter. What’s for Christmas 2022, Aldis lamps? Morse code?

On the 8th day of our Christmas lives, toxic advertising-induced anxiety over body image gave to me, 8 (00000) Chemicals that illuminate, exfoliate, and eventually exterminate? At least we’ll be all aglow for the holidays.

On the 7th day of our Christmas lives, marketing madness gave to me, 7 Santoku Knives – can I just write Santoku on a piece of masking tape over my Ginsu knife and feel justified?

On the 6th day of our Christmas lives, pandemic rules (and common sense) gave to me, 6 Feet A-part!!! Seriously, do people even know how far 6 feet apart is and also, follow the arrows, they’re arrows you can’t possibly pretend you don’t know what they mean…really.

On the 5th day of our Christmas lives, hype gave to me, 5 PS5 consoles (1st it was hard to find them, still hard to afford them). Remember board games, card games, Pacman…indulge me as I wander down nostalgia lane.

On the 4th day of our Christmas lives, the horror of migraines gave to me, 4 of a nifty little creation called The Wand, a handheld filter designed to remove the histamines and Sulfites in alcohol that may trigger headaches and hangovers. The Wand picks the wizard?

On the 3rd day of our Christmas lives, brandwashing annoyed me with 3 Disney Princess Ultimate Celebration Castles – 3 floors, 6 rooms and you have to turn the swing into your couch, what, are your jewels, furs, gowns, and shoes taking up too much room you need to covert things? And why a Princess? “Dolls don’t stand on their own”, sadly, neither do most Princesses. You may need to be royalty to afford the hefty price tag on this plastic palace.

On the 2nd day of our Christmas lives, temptation approved for me, 2 Credit cards (don’t let the cha-ching fool you, Christmas isn’t about who can spend the most).

And Fairtrade Christmas chocolates in a reforestration tree!!!

Christmas is an ideal time to slow down, not speed up.

A time to reflect on where we’ve been…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/09/a-charlie-brown-christmas/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/29/twas-the-month-before-christmas/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/12/18/these-arent-the-gifts-youre-looking-for/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/30/hello-its-me/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/12/08/dear-santa-i-can-explain/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/07/slightly-less-stupid/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/07/do-you-wanna-build-a-snowman/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/05/we-are-santas-elves/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/02/elf/

and where we are (or aren’t), and where we’re going.

All things considered I’m pleased with my year of chronic change challenge. Life has thrown very large lemons at me, so I’m drinking a lot…of lemonade.

Here’s what’s happened so far…

In August I broke up with myself https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/

In September I asked “What If…?” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/09/29/what-if/

Then in October I knew that “Sweet Screams (Are Made of This) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/10/29/sweet-screams-are-made-of-this/

Then in the midst of November chaos came calm https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/11/27/have-yourself-a-merry-little-christmas/

I hope this season brings everyone comfort and joy! And for 2022, you do you and smiles too!

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, kindness

Have Yourself a Merry Little #Christmas

Posted on by D. Parker

Is Christmas really the most wonderful time of the year? Can’t we make the most wonderful time of the year any old time of the year? Does it have to be scheduled? Does it have to be a certain day? Why not wish each other well and treat each other well every single day in each and every single way?

The message is drummed into us in every seasonal day, in every seasonal way, that if you’re not involved in a holiday social barrage then you’ll be unhappy, that you’ll be sad, that you’ll be lonely, you’ll miss out on the perfect Christmas. It’s CFOMO – Christmas Fear of Missing Out.

Catastrophe will strike if your days and nights aren’t stuffed with: family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, Secret Santa/gift exchanges, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports, etc. Shiny, sparkly images of happy people enjoying the holidays together, shimmering like a holiday mirage.

It can be overwhelming, yet it’s one day, sure it’s been stretched into like, months because of the hype, the marketing as we’re viciously bombarded with images of physical and social wealth that are unattainable for many. Blink. Relax. Enjoy it your way.

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins in January with brief visits from other holidays before bouncing back to Christmas again. Don’t limit yourself to Christmassy viewing, though if you’re in the mood…

“Get Back” to Let It be and Let it snow and Let it go, yeah yeah yeah, The Beatles won’t let you down as they wanna hold your hand down this long and winding road; spend some time back in time at “Downton Abbey”; go anywhere or anywhen with The Doctor in classic or modern “Doctor Who” (not “Doctor Who Flux”, flux, wait, is that because The Doctor is female now, hmmm, weird…);

don’t be sheepish, pop over to “Shetland”; immerse yourself in the Marvel Universe, or the Star Wars galaxy, or anywhere else you can imagine; revisit some “Friends”; fear the future of “The Handmaid’s Tale”; hope “Vera” only calls you “love” or “pet”, not “sunshine” (Dear Santa and Vera, I can explain…); see what is the deal with “Seinfeld” (It’s Festivus for the rest of us); be glad you’re not invited to a “Game of Thrones” Christmas party (you know nothing, Jon Let It Snow);

put on your Walkman, pull on your neon spandex and fanny packs to take a tour of the Upside Down in “Stranger Things”; watch cooking shows, Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay (are you blaming the fish?!?), “Baking It” with Andy Samberg (can Lonely Island all host?), or “Breaking Bad“; or drop by “Yellowstone”; find out “What We Do in the Shadows” or in the “Shadow and Bone”; and/or see who survived on “The Walking Dead“. Or read your way through the snow, ho, ho, ho…

2. Use this as a time to catch up with family, friends, or new friends (just haven’t met you yet) who also are looking to hide away from the holidays, enjoy the holidays in a less commercial way…

3. Be bold, be brave, go on a holiday dating/companionship spree, even if it’s on Zoom. Eggnog your way through stories about his/her ex, mom, ex’s mom, work, football, baseball, hockey, fashion, cars…Who knows, maybe you’ll find a Christmas miracle, or become comfortably numb.

4. Adjust your expectations. Social media is not reality. Say that to yourself every time you go online. This is not life, it’s one long high school reunion. Everyone is wearing their best outfit, just lost weight, and sharing the highlights of their life.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
5. Fill your time, don’t just kill that time. Do something you wanted or needed to do but hadn’t quite gotten around to it yet. Read, write, craft, draw, paint, bake, blog, sing, play games, cook, knit, go to a museum or art gallery, walk, work, declutter (unclutter?), exercise, sleep, stream, meme, clean, dream…It’s all good.

6. Have a Single Christmas Party (not for singles, just you, be your own party). If you can’t enjoy your own company how do you expect others to enjoy it? This year, like last, we have some restrictions, but enjoy your time anyway.

7. It’s never too late (or early) to start a new tradition with yourself or others, hopefully one that doesn’t involve eating your feelings, spending future rent/mortgage payments, insulting others, and/or anything illegal.

8. Help others this season – the best way to keep your mind off your problems is to help others with their problems. It can also give you perspective if you’re in a woe-is-me-kinda-place.

9. Under no circumstances drink too heavily, that could lead to calling, texting, or emailing an ex, or blogging under the influence, or doing something else you may otherwise regret.

10. Look back, look inside, look around, look forward. See past the blinking lights, beyond the cha-ching of the cash register, and maybe read about my year of chronic change https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/09/29/what-if/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/10/29/sweet-screams-are-made-of-this/

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, but generally, on all the days of the year, make a life for yourself that isn’t an escape room. A life where you’re not trying to get away, not trying to immerse yourself in the latest holiday…where each and every single day holds some tidings of simple comfort and joys, and some jolly.

This season is simple. It’s days, weeks, months like any other. It’s filled with what you want it to be filled with, well, mostly. Winston Churchill famously said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going”. Churchill means, when you’re struggling, push through, or you’ll get stuck in the struggle. I triple dog dare you, keep going, you never know what’s on the other side, isn’t that exciting?

And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas…and be kind, to yourself and others. Please. Thank you kindly.

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” ~Charles Dickens

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, COVID-19, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Holidays, kindness, New Year, satire

How To Get Away With Christmas

Posted on by D. Parker

FOMO Christmas – ghosts of blogs past!

yadadarcyyada

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays,try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins…

View original post 388 more words

Posted in Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, COVID-19, Holidays, kindness

12 Unusual Ways To Relieve Your Holiday Stress

Posted on by D. Parker

The holiday season stresses out most everyone, but for those who are ill, the holidays can be a nightmare (before and during Christmas); it’s stressful for even those who don’t celebrate Christmas (or try not to celebrate).

The roads are busier.
Malls overrun by zombies (We are The Walking Dead, but with brightly-wrapped gifts).
Christmas songs drone on, but peace on Earth, really, there’s barely a pretense of civility.

So many Santas, ringing and ho-ho-hoing for money to buy toys – I thought there was a workshop and elves for that…

Expectations.
Unrealistic expectations.
Too much food (First World Problem).

Frolicking.
Accidents.
Frolicking accidents.
Ugly Christmas sweaters (no longer ironic),
now ironically iconic?

Gifts/gift cards/e-gift cards,
“the perfect gift” for the “perfect” Christmas –
that’s where stress-relievers come in.

First, take a deep breath. Christmas is one day. One. 24 hours. 1440 minutes. Let’s also enjoy the other 364 days in the year. Relax.

Second, the holidays should be about: giving, helping, hoping, kindness, compassion, and dreams; not pushing, whining, complaining, stressing and screams…Relax.

Third, you need to find out what works for you, what makes you happy, what brings you comfort and joy. If you don’t know that, how can you share it with others? Relax.

Here are some usual ways (and unusual, whatever that means) ways to relieve stress during the holidays (and all the year through)? There are more than 12 so you decide which is which.

If I’ve left some out and I’m sure I did, please comment to tell me what I missed and then share the post on social media so others can tell me what I missed as well…

  • Read books/ebooks (This is a safe space, no “books vs ebooks” arguments here; all books are welcome and accepted!).
  • Progressively relax.
  • Dog/Cat/Fish/Pig/ Pony/Ferret/Bird/Horse/Frog therapy.
  • Volunteer (I once knew someone who said more people would volunteer if they were paid, ummm, that’s a job).
  • Write a blog/journal/novels/poems.
  • Manicure/Pedicure (at home works too).
  • Bake (me a cake?).
  • Aromatherpy (Don’t limit yourself to the usual scents, whatever smells good to you, smell away).
  • Look for the Fibonacci symbol in nature or fractals, so fun on snowy days.
  • Design clothes. Wear clothes. Buy New-To-You clothes (Goodwill, Talize, Salvation Army, Value Village, Mission Store, and other Love-Them-Again stores are awesome).
  • Go see a play, be in a play, write a play, direct a play.
  • Bike.
  • Golf/Mini Golf.
  • Look at the stars (the ones in the sky).
  • Plant yourself near a plant to reduce your blood pressure.
  • Sleep/Nap/Rest.
  • Karate (relaxed and ready to defend yourself, probably not against Ninjas or aliens, but maybe zombies or vampires).
  • Visit an art gallery/museum.
  • Hike.
  • Do chores/Clean.
  • Stream (Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Apple TV, Disney Plus, Acorn TV, Crave, HBO, TMN, SlingTV, BritBox, and many more; with more popping up every day).
  • Bowl.
  • Curl.
  • Url.
  • Unfurl.
  • Play board games.
  • Play video games.
  • Play card games.
  • Learn something…anything.
    • Stay and enjoy.
  • Paint.
  • Garden.
  • Do puzzles – crossword, boxed puzzles, puzzle boxes, find-a-word (Have you heard? The bird is the word), sudoku, logic, trivia and if you can figure out people, wow, you’ve solved the biggest puzzle ever.
  • Apply gentle pressure to the spot between your 2nd and 3rd knuckle, between your fingers, where your finger and hand meet to reduce stress.
  • Weave.
  • Camp.
  • Glamp.
  • Dance.
  • Cheer someone up with a fun surprise (Do not break into their home and draw a happy face on the wall or anything in red lipstick on their mirror, apparently that’s considered “creepy”).
  • Craft.
  • Raft.
  • Wine/Beer tasting tour (Don’t taste and drive).
  • Learn some magic tricks (Be nice to rabbits).
  • Get/give a facial.
  • Sing.
  • Watch the clouds (the ones in the sky).
  • Jump (jump jump jump around) on a trampoline (safety first).
  • Smile (I just like to smile, smiling’s my favourite).
  • Drink water (don’t waste it).
  • Draw.
  • Create the next big fad! i.e. Lint kittens and puppies. Easy to keep – no walks, no food, soft and cuddly, and easy to house-train. Do not expose to water.
  • Ski.
  • Sauna.
  • Snowboard.
  • Snowshoe.
  • Walk.
  • Run/Jog/Sprint.
  • Quilt.
  • Be mindful.
  • Plant trees.
  • Join a team (fantasy or real).
  • Pet sit (don’t actually sit on a pet).
  • Dream.
  • Tear paper (then recycle then tear again).
  • Visualize (guided or unguided, just remember to leave some breadcrumbs to find your way back).
  • Crochet.
  • Pay it forward.
  • Help.
  • Be kind (random or deliberate).
  • Fix stuff (fix something for someone: TV, car, fridge, cellphone, alarm system, computer, appliances, sewing machine, etc. Even it wasn’t broken, er, at the time, they’ll probably understand you were trying to give them a gift…probably).
  • Upload/download/unload.
  • Meme.
  • Give your time.
  • Offer your knowledge.
  • Give your full attention.
  • When a child hands you a toy phone or a banana, answer it and have a conversation (best time with a phone/actually smart).
  • Take a shower (not at the Bates Motel).
  • Take a bath (not in a horror movie).
  • Enjoy social media for what it is not what you want it to be (because the internet).
  • Take some photographs (not just of your food and selfies with duck lips).
  • Skate.
  • Mentor someone.
  • Review something.
  • Ski-doo (not on thin ice…it’s all going to be thin ice soon).
  • Watch a sunset.
  • Watch a sunrise.
  • Cook (Combine food and fashion ie. Forget Lululemon, how about lasagna leggings? Pizza pants. Taco ties. Chocolate crop top. Wine wedding dress. Turkey tux. Beer boots. Hamburger hat. Curry coat. Steak scarf. Bacon blouse. This food fashion can be consumed at any time – hopefully not when you’re out in public).
  • Join a club (not a gang).
  • Drink green/white tea.
  • Inspire.
  • Be inspired.
  • Organize.
  • Walk in a park or the woods (not at night on a full moon, just in case).
  • Climb a wall, so you don’t climb the walls.
  • Hug.
  • Laugh.
  • Laugh some more.
  • Make someone laugh.
  • Spend time with nature and animals (don’t pet grizzly bears, badgers, or snakes, start slow with cats, dogs, rabbits…then move up).
  • Build a snowman (do you wanna?).
  • Remember.
  • Forget.
  • Remember to forget.
  • Smash stuff (smash plates, bowls, walls, pumpkins,etc., and if you can’t go to one of the places where you pay to smash stuff, I’m sure family and friends will understand you need stress relief, especially during the holidays).
  • Hope.
  • Make soap not dope.
  • Elope.
  • Pop corn.
  • String popcorn (the eat, the popcorn not the string).
  • Visit (real or virtual as long as you’re there, in the moment).
  • Yoga.
  • Watch TV (question what you watch).
  • Listen to someone.
  • Breathe deeply.
  • Be grateful.
  • Chop wood.
  • Woodworking.
  • Carving.
  • ‘Tis the season, cut down a Christmas tree for a busy family member or friend. Cautionary note, unlike in the Hallmark and other Christmas movies, cartoons, etc., apparently it’s “frowned upon”, some might even say “illegal”, to just randomly cut trees down. Who knew?

One of the best ways to relieve stress, being honest, with yourself and others; we/they/me/whoever may not appreciate it at first, but it could be the best gift ever, someday.

 Chocolate. Enough said.

If you know me and/or you’re a reader of my blog (https://yadadarcyyada.com) you know, I think laughter is the best medicine and it certainly qualifies as a stress reliever. Laughing, even if it hurts sometimes, still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place, including but not limited to: Psych, George Carlin, Seinfeld, Community, Friends, Rick and Morty, The Office, Marx Brothers, Flight of the Conchords, and more.

I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Get silly. Adulting is tough, who says we can’t be a kid at heart?

Finding ways to help others is a great stress reliever. It’s hard to think about your problems when you’re helping others with theirs.

There are an endless amount of causes out there, try to support those who really need it. Those who are hungry, scared, without shelter, without hope, being abused, ill, falling through so many cracks.

Donate to a cause in someone’s name instead of handing them another gift they may or may not need or want, or better yet, start a foundation in their name, I’m sure it won’t affect their taxes…much. Help yourself by helping others.

Knitting? Did I mention knitting? What I want to knit…a black cable knit sweater and a Doctor-Who-vintage-Tom-Baker-as-The-Doctor scarf. I’ve been talked down to scarf of one colour and even that’s not going well. The holes are there to let hopes and dreams in, yeah, that’s it. They’re a design feature.

Turns out knitting can be a “knotty” stress reliever.

Exercise is suggested for stress relief, but with pain and fatigue, exercise can be challenging. Years ago, someone suggested Tai Chi for Fibromyalgia/relaxation/arthritis/exercise, I thought, how would flailing my arms around, slowly, help with any of those things? I’ll just look weirder than I usually do.

I reluctantly tried it. It saved my life, at least, my quality of life. Tai Chi, a few times per day; in the morning to relax from sleeping – Fibromyalgia patients will understand https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/11/22/99-problems-and-fibromyalgia-is-all-of-them/  

Lifting weights? I’m no Schwarzenegger, but Hasta la Vista, babyweight (my son is in his 20s). I like Yoga (and Baby Yoda), but it can be painful. Walking helps, but my dogs start barking and the rest of my body growls at me.

I love swimming (not so much Aquafit), but getting there and back, dressing, undressing, showering, etc. is exhausting; I sometimes feel worse, certainly less relaxed (and it’s pricey). And of course these days, we’re not sharing any pools. Thanks COVID.

What else? For seniors, VON offers free programs twice a week, (SMART) Seniors Maintaining Active Roles Together; there’s Ageless Grace (more like Graceless Aging for me). I’ve tried the gym. Belly-dancing (don’t try to picture it). Dancing (Frankie says Relax).

Yet I stick like glue to Tai Chi because it unsticks me. Relaxes. Soothes. Feeling sore? Tai Chi won’t magically fix everything, but it helps ease some aches and gets you moving.

To learn Tai Chi I borrowed items from the library (having fun isn’t hard if you’ve got a library card). Later bought VHS tapes (yes, that long ago, I fought off a saber-tooth tiger to get home), then DVDs (now on YouTube and streaming services, soon to be uploaded into our brains). 

Now I have fun with it, I pretend I’m carrying an invisible jar containing invisible chocolate, so I must guard it with my life. But seriously, once I opened my mind, body and heart to Tai Chi, it gave me a priceless gift – some pain and stress relief so I could have quality of life. I can dance again. Well, sort of. My version of it.

Remember, getting through one day (for example, Christmas Day) isn’t the same as finding and giving joy each day. What about you dear readers? What are some of the usual or unusual ways you know to relieve stress during the holidays and all the year through (remember this is a more or less family-friendly blog).

Wishing everyone a safe, happy and stress-free (ok, low stress/reduced stress) holiday season: Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! ¡Felices Fiestas! Jie Ri Yu Kuai! Laethanta saoire sona! Happy Hanukkah! Joyous Kwanzaa! Yuletide Greetings! Best wishes for 2020! Joyeux Noël! Let it snow…somewhere else! Feliz Navidad! Seasons Greetings! Happy New Year Joy! Celebrate! Be merry! Shiawasena kyūjitsu! Boas Festas! Li holide eximnandi! Happy Christmas! Happy New Year! Wishing you a latke fun this Hanukkah! Hau’oli Lanui! मेरी क्रिसमस ! Forhe Feiertage! Selamat Hari Raya! Happy Channukah! Joyeuses Fêtes! Prettige Feestdagen! Buone Feste! Trevlig Helg! Jingle All The Way! Happy Holidays from owl of us! Tis the Season! Warmest greetings! Happy Holidays, Mate! It doesn’t matter how you say it as long as it’s said with kindness.

 

Posted in Blogs, halloween, Holidays, Movies, Televison

The More The Scarier!

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/Bloggers and readers of every age.
Wouldn’t you like to see something strange?
Come with me and you will see.
This, our blog party of Halloween!
Share it once, share it twice.
Take a chance and roll the dice.
Ride with the moon in the dead of night.
Everybody scream, everybody scream!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

In this blog party (share your links to your or others blog posts, books, social media, whatever!) of Halloween (or not)!

The more the scarier!!! #TheMoreTheScarier

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Memories shape our lives and we cling to them as a witch clings to her flying broom (or vacuum). Some memories are comforting, others haunting. Do you remember the first time you heard: One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater? How about Monster Mash? Thriller? Dead Man’s Party…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/Sympathy for the Devil, Time Warp, (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, Devil Went Down To Georgia…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/Dragula, Welcome to my Nightmare, This Is Halloween…Who You Gonna Call? (Ghostbusters)…2018 version:  Who You Gonna Text? (Emojibusters)

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • For some, Halloween is another kind of Christmas. It’s been 25 years since I stood in line on opening day to see Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/19/the-nightmare-before-christmas/ and sometimes it feels like yesterday. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Hocus Pocus  came out the same year and it’s cheesiness put a spell on me for all time.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Halloween attacked theaters (1978, 40 years ago and still today) and thanks to lax age rules back then, I probably saw it on the big screen. I heard that music and I was transfixed, they had me. Then the cinematography sucked me into the vortex of Michael Myers; I was right there, running scared with Laurie Strode/Jamie Leigh Curtis (Final Girls rule!).  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Night of the Living Dead  was 50 years ago and sadly, the ending stands up the most in these troubled times, proving the point, the more things change the more they stay the same. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show – 43 years and counting of fish nets, great tunes and, er, toast? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/the-rocky-horror-picture-show/ 

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Netflix’s vision of The Haunting of Hill House may thrill and chill you. Starring Michiel Huisman of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society   -thanks Netflix for keeping the original book titles, for both and possibly for redoing Sabrina, I think I’m missing the teenage witch angst campiness, but adding Michelle Gomez  aka Missy from Doctor Who , genius!), Game of Thrones, Orphan Black, Nashville; also, Timothy Hutton; Carla Gugino; Henry Thomas (E.T. Phone Home!) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/and more, it’s not too scary, er, depending on your definition of scary.  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/19/religion-politics-and-the-great-pumpkin/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Welcome To My Nightmare, dear readers…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

  • Something wicked this way comes and horror gives us a way to examine the scary, horrifying, most frightening, the darkest parts of our world in a safe space, so you might say we horror fans are the original snowflakes…let’s hope we don’t melt.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/haunted-halloween-blog-party/

Posted in Family, Holidays, Uncategorized

The Mother Of All Blogs

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/My best motherhood move? Making my son  understand I’m flawed… seriously flawed. As is everyone. I wanted him to understand…

1. Not being perfect isn’t necessarily a bad thing.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/2. No good deed goes unpunished, but do good deeds anyway, it will feel good.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/3. You can’t get rid of something or someone until you’ve learned what it or they need to teach you.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/4. Motherhood isn’t a club. We’re not all the same. We shouldn’t care or compare how someone else is being a Mom, do what’s best for your child or children.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

5. We don’t really need a day, or a week, or a month, we need all people to be treated equally and respectfully. A woman isn’t instantly better because she has a child. We need just don’t one day where we get: flowers, diamonds, cards, ecards, buckets of chicken with recorded messages in the lid, spa treatments, edible arrangements… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ What we need a world where children are taught to treat others with dignity; who don’t see lying as a way of life and cheating as a lifestyle choice; and who think perception is more important than reality.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/6. I barely remember what I had for breakfast most days, but Jimmy Kimmel is right, that moment when doctors/nurses look concerned about your baby, that’s a moment frozen in time.
Despite reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting and other books on pregnancy and motherhood, I never expected to be in the ER when my son was a month old, never expected to see him quarantined, full of wires and tubes, having a machine breathe for him while he artificially slumbered.
Not being a doctor (although I play one at home), I didn’t know what was wrong. I’d never heard of RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus, while common, for infants it can be dangerous, even fatal). Approximately 11 days in hospital (5 on a respirator, isolated with 24-7 private nurse care). I lived there – slept, ate, read to my son: Dr. Seuss, E.B. White, Maurice Sendak, Star Wars, Star Trek (might explain a lot), and more while amazing nurses, doctors, and staff helped my beautiful, tiny, once-and-future-King-of-the-Wild-Things heal. These memories still bring tears, some of pain, some of joy.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/Family and friends were there for us (I can never thank you enough).
People often say not much else matters if you don’t have your health, I say, not much else matters if you don’t have your healthcare.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

7. The Handmaid’s Tale might represent motherhood best of all. Margaret Atwood wrote this (although I bet she never foresaw the SNL version) as a cautionary tale, but there’s a more subtle message often lost, having a baby shouldn’t be about power, also, a woman’s worth isn’t tied to her fertility, she shouldn’t be treated better or worse because of it. Women and men should be treated with compassion, empathy, dignity, and kindness no matter their gender, fertility, status, race, religion, marital status, wealth, etc. People shouldn’t be rewarded for bullying, lying, cheating, controlling, subjugating…This latest adaptation (Hulu or Bravo or CraveTV) is addictive, mesmerizing; the cast is stunning, the tale chilling, eerie…if this is how we save the human race, is it worth saving?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

8. How could anyone have a child if they watched Twin Peaks (Dual Spires for Psych fans)…because, the world is just like this show: weird, wonderful, strange, stunning, fascinating, frightening, and full of moments that will haunt you, and full of moments as sweet as cherry pie or donuts https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/We hear the nostalgic, evocative themes of the Twin Peaks… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/and The X-Files… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

Hmmm, maybe James Comey could get a new job on these reunion FBI dramas, after all, he knows FBI drama. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/The truth is out there? Remember, life isn’t all about what’s under the plastic, it’s about what happens before, during, and after and it’s up to us to make it wonderful, not horrible (take note Trump).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/So as I drop this,
er, ummm,
Mother of all Blogs?
Happy Mother’s Day
to everyone…
not just mothers,
but people,
enjoy this day
and everyday.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/09/happy-mothers-day-i-just-ate-your-gift/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/06/nothings-gonna-stop-us-now/ 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

I have millions of reasons why I love my son. Reason #82: he wakes up singing or humming every day. I was thinking, we should all be so lucky to wake up that way.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/

Posted in Books, Food, Holidays, Uncategorized

7 Ways To Survive Your Kitchen

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/The sun set; dusk fell on the shelf, and lights began to appear along the stove. That which blends, so held, in hand or all alone, such power, to mix, to mash, to merge, to fuse, once individual, now as one, together. The upper reaches, the place of monstrous leftovers, marked ominously with a date, huddle in the brooding gloom of fridge light, mocked by the enticing garish glare of magnet cradled take-out flyers.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

 “And this,” she noted suddenly, “has to be one of the dark places of the earth.”

 In the static of their surroundings, the slightly scornful pots, pans, knives and other pointy things lurked, growled their promise, ready to play the food game.

 She doggedly tried to follow the medically suggested diet; the worst that could be said of her was she wanted to believe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

 Food is not for the faint of heart, it beckons, it bubbles, it boils, it brews, it even burns...Food, as perplexing as the definition of fake news. My food feelings? Let’s just say, my kitchen and me, we’re officially changing our relationship status to, “It’s complicated”.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Let’s Play – 7 Ways To Survive Your Kitchen!!!

1. Have your recipes, like blog posts and/or synopsis ready – in your head, online, or written down. Have all your ingredients out first, nothing worse than being halfway through and notice you’re not rising to the occasion.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/2. Cooking is time-consuming, like blogging, like writing, like life itself, but if you clean up as you go, it’s easier. Try baking soda and vinegar – ecofriendly, frugal, and together they’re an explosive combination, seriously you can make a volcano while cleaning. Don’t forget to snap on your rubber gloves and clean that dirty, dirty oven. Maybe you’ll have naughty dreams about kitchens – hot, steamy dreams about someone else cooking/cleaning for you, oh yeees!!!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

3. Tempted by takeaway/takeout, fast food, even processed foods? Remind yourself it’s bad for your waist and wallet. Same goes for blogging, fast and processed, you can get that anywhere, isn’t it better to go for the real thing.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

4. Easter is an egg-cellent time to dye eggs, naturally, with family, friends (even imaginary ones), and furfriends. Then you can still eat them, the eggs, not family, friends, or furfriends. Is your egg a good egg? Fill a bowl with water. Gently place “suspicious” egg in the bowl. Does the egg stay on the bottom sideways – a good egg! Does it stand up, but lean drunkenly to the side – still good, but better really a pickled egg. Stands straight up, still ok, but use, like right now. Floating? A bad egg (cue the Veruca Salt song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory). I am the maker of merriment, the dreamer of dreams (in case you were away https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

 5. Beware The Pointies! It seems like kitchen gadgets, utensils, tools, gizmos, appliances, etc. are designed to somehow maim, mangle, or even murder those innocently trying to cook.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Kitchens are deathtraps. Be safe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

6. Lettuce us celebrate cooking! Like blogging, writing, social media, friendships, relationships, work, and life in general, it can be a time-eater. Orange you glad we didn’t make a big dill about this game? Romaine calm, even if you feel like you’re playing ketchup with all the relish you can mustard. Just beet it and spaghetti out of here.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

7. Life is like a paper bag…You just never know when you need to cover, conceal, meltdown, carry, ripen (seriously easy way to ripen your avocados, bananas, apples, tomatoes, etc.), and you really never know when you’re going to need a puppet. Be ready.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Oh life, it’s bigger
It’s bigger than you (doesn’t feel like it on a bloat day)
And you are not me (not even on a bloat day)
The lengths that I will go to,
the chocolate that adds to my thighs
Oh no, I’ve ate too much
I didn’t eat enough?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my willpower….
I thought that I heard you baking
I thought that I heard you grill
I think I thought I saw you fry

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Consider this
Consider this, a hint of cake and cookies
Consider this, the stroganoff
That brought me to my knees
That was just a dream
Try, cry, why try
That was just a dream
Just a food dream
Just a food dream

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Well, dear readers, do you want to keep playing? Awesome, then tell me your: food battles, food love affairs, diets, tips, advice, recipes.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

 I’d like to thank those who inspired the game: food, Joseph Conrad, Martin Sheen, R.E.M., Liam Neeson – I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for onions or garlic, I can’t have them. But I do have are a very peculiar set of skills, skills I have acquired over years of cooking…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/23/7-ways-to-survive-your-kitchen/

Posted in Chocolate, Christmas, Holidays, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

Social media can be flat, most humans are 3D

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/I know this might be a stressful time for some, but I hope this finds you in good stead. Every choice has consequences.
In the course of human events it
becomes necessary to distract ourselves at times, I don’t know about you, but there’s no limits to what I can accomplish when I’m avoiding doing something else, yet we hold these truths to be self-evident, some choices must still be made, hopefully informed choices.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

Some choices are easy. Some hard. Some seem like a joy or a joke. Some involve danger, some choices even have underestimated peril, ie. household chores  – germs, cleaning tools, boredom, hiring strangers, using pets (who hasn’t wondered if pets could help with household chores?) and imagine trying to really ‘clean house’?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

Then there’s the danger of choosing ice cream or chocolate and/or chocolate ice cream as a remedy for the common cold, it may not lessen the tyranny of the infirmity, yet if you add whining, comfy clothes, and sniffling, the choice is clear. Sniffle.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

Admittedly, choices would be easier if everything was simply spelled out for us, without: lies, manipulation, false promises, hidden agendas, threats, deceit, complex small print, and if we weren’t at the mercy of drama ‘monsters’.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/
Life is a leap, we’re always jumping into the unknown – every second, minute, hour, day. Life changes, there are peaks and valleys, but as long as you breathe, there’s hope.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

 Remember, even if…

1. You did something, said something that embarrassed or cost you, and/or offended, disturbed others. Learn from it. Social media can be flat, most humans are 3D. Keeping your dimensions, they’re important.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

2. You stayed too long and gave too much, trying to save a toxic relationship with: a partner, friend, family member, group, organization, political party, etc. That doesn’t mean you’re trapped, mentally chew off that leg and get away.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

3. You got caught up in the hype machine, most have at one time or another (even if they won’t admit it). Simple answer – accept responsibility, and change, start again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

4. You fell head over heels, with stuff, especially during the holidays. We instinctively hunt and gather, now for stuff. You felt momentarily joyful but less than triumphant. Don’t feed addictions, accept them to overcome them.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

5. You found out the hard way talk is cheap – words, words everywhere but not a lot of truth, common sense, or depth.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

6. You gave your trust, your love, your dreams to people who sometimes didn’t deserve or care about those gifts; that’s about them, not you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/
7. You forgot, while you’re responsible to many in this life, in the end, you’re only responsible for yourself and your words/actions.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

 8. You took things for granted, got comfortable and forgot everything can change, end or disappear. It can, they can, it does, they do…so don’t.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

9. You gave up, settled, but it’s never too late, at least to have a modified version of your dreams.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

10. You’ve worried, fretted, brooded, hoped, believed, over thought, agonized and still things didn’t go your way, the other shoe still dropped. You fell and it looks like you’re down for the count. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, get up, dust off, there’s no time limit on getting back up.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

Halloween has come and gone, election buzz drones on and on, even if it seemed more like The Hateful Eight and clickbait than democracy. We lived through this horror for 9 years in Canada until we were,er, ‘saved’ by sunny ways.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/
Thanksgiving – we should be thankful every day, but maybe we shouldn’t eat that way.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/
Even before we take a day to remember and honour our soldiers,
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/03/lest-we-forget-to-shop/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/
Black Friday and CyberMonday deals send cash registers pinging, Christmas bells start ringing, everywhere there’s singing. What will it be like this year? Still holiday cheer? More chances to learn and grow, to stop seeing each other as us or them.

Love is all around, going backwards wastes it. You can never tell what’s next so just keep going. You’re gonna make it after all.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/11/social-media-can-be-flat-most-humans-are-3d/

Posted in Books, Canada, Holidays, Uncategorized, Zombies

Who Loves Ya Baby?

Posted on by D. Parker

1tidy4How many times
can you fall off
the planet before
you start to think,
hmmm, maybe I
need better
gravity boots.

My strange week began with me frenetically organizing and cleaning my house.

At first, I thought it was simply having finally read Marie Kondo’s book, the life-changing magic of tidying up: the Japanese art of decluttering and tidying. Though commonsense, it’s all been said and done, in various ways. It’s easy to declutter, you have less stuff that’s more organized. I should write a book. My house looks like a poor woman’s Martha Stewart, with fewer prison ponchos (it’s a good thing).

1tidy2
Then came the gut punch, the calendar explained my sudden need to keep busy – a year ago my 30 year friendship stopped, just as my best friend’s heart had stopped https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/06/goodbye-dearest-friend/ I wanted to do anything but think about my losses, all of them, before and after this one. I wanted to drown my sorrows in the bottom of a neatly folded and lined-up sock drawer. To gamble I could keep the traveling elastic bands and pens all in one place, just one more time.

1tidy3

Even after everything was organized, sorted, recycled, and donated, my feelings of pain, loss, and fear still cluttered my house, heart, and mind. So I purged some of those feelings blocking me from respecting joy, hope, and love. I folded my memories into my life; if I keep hanging them, they’ll take up too much space in my emotional closet.

1tidy7

We’re told we need to be smart, work smart, have smart things, but where is smart really getting us?

  • For example, if credit cards are so smart, why can’t they pay off their outstanding balances, huh?

  • If TVs are so smart, why do we have to spend so much time looking for something good to watch?

1tidy11

  • Maybe we need smart pets that feed, groom, and even walk themselves.

  • I have a feeling if I got a smart fridge, I’d hear things like: “Are you here again, girl, get yourself a life!” or “What are you doing, Donna, this is highly irregular!”

1tidy24

  • Why stop there? Smart coffee machines, ha, amateurs, how about smart coffee that changes itself from espresso to latte to whatever passes as coffee, depending on your mood.

  • Someday your smart car will hold you in contempt without a valid high IQ score.

    1tidy21

  • Smart wine that critiques itself so you can sound like a wine connoisseur, although then everyone will sound the same, so it will be just the wine talking.

  • Smart couches that tell us the best spot to park our caboose.

    1tidy27

War, depression, corruption, terrorism, anxiety, climate change, poverty, prejudice, ignorance, disease, political games, scams, abuse, addiction, melodrama, not to mention simultaneous epidemics of starvation and obesity – we don’t need a zombie apocalypse, we’re doing just fine on our own.

1tidy12
We self-scan, aka us working for a store for free, while putting others out of work (and already over-paying), all the while supporting companies that destroy the environment, while using what amounts to slave labour. Really?

1tidy8

And our complaints are many: my laptop is too heavy, there’s too much food in my house, my smartphone isn’t the latest model, my smartphone doesn’t have a long enough battery life, there’s too many movies/TV shows to stream/watch. I clearly have the wrong definition of ‘smart’.

1tidy16

So I will try to be smarter.

I will thank my body for it’s hard work, especially my heart which has taken a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.

I will commune with my mind, who has respectfully stayed with me through thick and thin.

Everything in its place and a place for everything…as long as it sparks joy.

Happy Valentine’s Day…Who loves ya, baby?

1tidy10

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Holidays, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

The Christmas Carol Awakens

Posted on by D. Parker

christmas159I had too much to dream last night.
I feel like I have a dream hangover.
I woke from my confusing, at times,
exhilarating Dickens’
A Christmas Carol-like dream
(unfortunately no Muppets), but
filled with revelations.

First, I was visited by Donald Trump who told me 3 others would visit that night. It was terrifying, he wore the chains of greed, intolerance, and suffering he’d forged link by link…it seemed like there was more of the hairspray than grave about him.

1christmas144

Then Colin Firth showed up as my Ghost of Christmas Past in the white shirt from Pride and Prejudice (you know the one ladies). This dream just got a whole lot better. He reminded me that all things past are actually always still with us…

1christmas155

1. Christmas songs are playing everywhere yet I rarely hear Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron by The Royal Guardsman. It’s my all-time fav, it’s about peace on Earth, goodwill, and about how even the worst of enemies can put aside their differences, if only for a little while…we sure need more of that.

1christmas156

2. Dean Cain and many others we haven’t seen in a while do still have careers, kinda, hey, I like Christmas movies.

3. And even on a crummy morning a gingerbread man still makes his bed with cookie sheets.

Then Taylor Kinney (without fiancée, Lady Gaga…hey, it’s my dream) floated in as my Ghost of Christmas Present (subconscious you’re so good to me) dressed as Fireman and reminded me that despite the season, it’s getting hot in here. Whether it was just a hot flash or I’m watching too much Chicago Fire (is that possible?), I woke up in a sweat. Back to my dream, rescue me.

1christmas138

4. Christmas is about giving. Though I’m broke and obscure I still believe in giving to others and weirdly, sometimes you get stuff back. For example, by donating, I won a month gym membership and a few other goodies. So now I can be buff like Arnold, though I’m saying this in Schwarzeneggar accent, the buff part seems unlikely.

5. I’ve noticed my Mom (a senior) and my son (a teen with Autism) have a much fuller social life than I do, I need to work on that. And the only action I’m getting is from my latest mammogram.

6. I don’t have to wait in line for some guy in a red suit to make me promises, I’ll make some to myself.

1christmas96

My Ghost of Christmas Future was Norman Reedus, well, actually Daryl Dixon (my dream, so he’s holding a cat reminding us to Shop Cruelty Free https://www.crueltyfreeinternational.org/ – I’d like to add, that goes for people as well), who showed me that…

1christmas136

7. Christmas could be a little late this year, instead of making toys, Santa and the elves are already lined up to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

8.  The Christmas feeling could be there, even without the gifts, the lights, the decorations, chocolate (this one is iffy), turkey and toys, even without the Christmas.

9. Ordinary rules of time and space don’t apply to Santa or The Doctor (Hello Sweetie, Doctor Who Christmas Special on almost Boxing Day – Christmas but late, can’t wait, but it’s times like these I miss David Tennant), but they do apply to us, we only have so much time in this world.

1christmas134

Can happiness or success be measured by what we have instead of the joy and comfort we bring to others? Do we really think in the end, we’ll care about how much we shopped, what car we drove, how big our home was, if we had the latest iPhone, or what we were wearing? Or will we remember the good times, the fun times, the laughter, the kindness, the little moments.

1christmas94

This season, remember a date on a calendar is just that, but life, life is for living, every day.

Oh yes, and if you don’t see me around here for a bit, I’ve checked myself into Clementine rehab.

I can quit anytime I want.

Just…one…more.

1christmas146

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Family, Holidays, Internet, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Hello It’s Me

Posted on by D. Parker

1hello3

Hello
It’s me
I was
Wondering
if after all
this time
we could
virtually meet
To go over
what is
real
or
bloggerspeak

1hello1

Hello, can you hear me?
I’m in Canada dreaming about who I’ll one day be
Hello from the other side
Feels like I’ve blogged a thousand times
I sometimes forget, uphill can make you rest
And at least I can say I tried
Not as much tears me up anymore
So hello from the other side
Feels like I’ve blogged a thousand times

Thanks Adele, like ‘Hello’ is ever leaving my head.

1hello4

Hello, I’m probably one of the most honest people ever – except I lie.
When I say I’m fine, sometimes, I lie.
Even if it’s mostly to myself.
I haven’t been well for a while now, even more so than usual, which is saying something. I’ve been pushing through with sheer force of will, but even that is wearing thin.
Apparently I need more ‘self-care’, which apparently, I’m very not ‘good’ at it.

1christmas90

So when an unlikely source, Groupon threw me a line – 50% off movies and popcorn (I brought the popcorn home for my son), I thought, why not? I wasn’t disappointed to watch The Hunger Games take its final bow on the big screen, except the title Mockingjay Part 2, really, that’s kind of boring, how about The Mockingjay Awakens, or Mockingjay Hurray! or an Australian version, Mockingjay G’day! I wasn’t thrilled by The Hunger Games books, but I did enjoy exploring our world, choices, freedoms and illusions of, through this world, onscreen more. When Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) keeps asking Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence), ‘Real or Not Real’, I understood. Too often the world can feel violent and even surreal, but what is real…or not real? I suppose the best we can do is try to stand for something, or we’ll fall for anything.

1christmas88

Christmas music jingled away as I waited for the movie to begin, and I realized, blogging and Christmas have a lot more in common than I thought, like…

1. It’s better to give than receive. Even if you feel you don’t have enough, try to help others in some way. In blogging you can give by: ‘liking’, ‘sharing’, and/or ‘commenting’. You may not agree with every word, but appreciate that blogger took the time to post (as you wish to be appreciated).

2. Connection – you never know who you’re going to virtually meet and how they’ll change your life, or you theirs.

1christmas120

3. Fruitcake and posts – love, hate, like bits of, or given time, both could be used to prop open a door to…

4. Lots of surprises, awkward moments, comfort, joy, regifting, and more than a few ugly sweaters (still, it’s all in the eye of the beholder).

bridgetjones2

5. Plenty of glitz and fancy bits, yet sometimes, the substance and what really matters still shines through.

6. Gingerbread, yes, delightful, but sometimes hard to handle, especially without breaking.

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9. Posts hung like stockings by the internet chimney with care, with hopes that readers soon will be there.

8. Cookies, meals out, eggnog, and other holiday treats, all awesome, but too many and you start to feel sluggish, tired, irritable, and overwhelmed. Blogging can be the same – know yourself, know your readers.

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9. We can all be Santa’s Elves filling Santa’s shelves – bringing posts, perhaps comfort and joy…

10. Cookies, carrots, comments, posts, shares, maybe some milk (or in some cases, more adult libations) – all left for those we hope will show up.

1hello10

11. Visions of sugar plums. Hoping to inspire and please, but sometimes, as hard as we try, our posts, our holidays, our days fall flat. There’s no time limit on getting up, or starting over. Dust off and try again! 

12. Christmas trees, all different, just as all blogs are different. Don’t worry if you have the right niche, enough followers, comments, likes, etc. Don’t overthink. Send your creativity into the world, who knows what will come of it…anything, everything.

1hello12

With blogging and Christmas and everything else, be brave, do what you feel, even if it goes wrong, you tried and that can’t really be wrong. Slow down, take the time to really enjoy and take it all in (including chocolate).

1christmas122

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Cooking, Holidays

How To Get Away With Christmas

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays, try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins in July with brief visits from other holidays. Don’t limit yourself to Christmassy stuff…be glad you’re not invited to a Game of Thrones Christmas party; see who survived (Christmas) on The Walking Dead; try to figure out what they’re cooking on Breaking Bad; or catch up with Mrs. Brown’s Boys (Dear Santa, I can explain…). Soon it will be January (sorry, I skipped ahead, was I wrong in assuming you don’t have anyone for New Year’s Eve either?), then you’ll have a few weeks to recover before the Valentine’s Day trauma begins, maybe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

2. Gently ‘add’ yourself to someone else’s Christmas or add someone to yours.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
3. Find dating sites/apps and go on a holiday dating spree. Eggnog your way through stories about his/her ex, mom, ex’s mom, work, football, baseball, hockey, fashion, cars…Who knows, maybe you’ll find a Christmas miracle.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

4. Adjust your expectations. Social media is one long high school reunion. Everyone is wearing their best outfit, just lost weight, and sharing only highlights of their life.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
5. Read, write, blog, sing, bake, work, clean, declutter, exercise, sleep, go to a movie…flashback to the 70s – dance, wear turtlenecks, bellbottoms, ponchos, and go see Star Wars (or not). It’s all good.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

6. Have a Single Christmas Party (not for singles, just you, be your own party).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
7. Ignore the season, the gaudy decorations, the commercialism, multiple Santas in multiple malls (unless you work there, try to stay out of the malls altogether) and create a Michael-Bublé-Bing-Crosby-Burl-Ives-free #safespace.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
8. Start a new tradition with yourself or others, hopefully one that doesn’t involve eating your feelings (and don’t forget legal).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
9. Help others this season – the best way to keep your mind off your problems is to help others with their problems.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
10. Under no circumstances drink too heavily, that could lead to calling, texting, or emailing an ex, or watching other people having family time, especially through their windows. Though oddly specific, it’s good advice.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
It’s not about what you have, what you get, or even who you’re with, this season is about anything being possible.

Want to know how to get away with Christmas? Simple, enjoy the season and each day, not the way everyone tells you is enjoyable, but the way you enjoy it.

I triple dog dare you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Can You Feel The Blog Love Tonight?

Posted on by D. Parker

1blog52Turns out, being an adult is hard work.

Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.

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Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling)
You used to like me on my blog post
Late or early when I needed blog love
And I know when that hotline pinged
It could only mean one thing…
But these days, you’ve become a ghost
Wonder if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post
Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast

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But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…

Learning. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Smiling.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

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I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:

1. I’d have a computer, in my home.

2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.

3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.

4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.

5.  Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…

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6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.

7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.

8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.

9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.

10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.

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11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.

12. My body would be my worst enemy.

13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.

14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.

15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).

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16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).

17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.

18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.

19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.

20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.

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So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.

 

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Holidays, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

If I Could Save Time In A Blog Bottle

Posted on by D. Parker

1gone46There never seems to be enough time
to do the things you want to do,
but there might be,
if I stopped blogging…

But I like blogging…

Yet it’s time-consuming…

Once you’ve let that blogging genie out of the bottle, there’s no turning back. I keep trying to get away, but blogging keeps pulling me back in.

I also like making people laugh, I might be the one during the apocalypse: “Knock Knock.” Random guy, “Who’s there?” “Zombie.” “Zombie who?” Me running, yelling, “Zombie, behind you, run!”

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Then again, too much time isn’t always good, when I have time to think, I often feel like an alien in this world. Not the rubbery, gray, tall, skinny aliens, more like the ET-hey-I-landed-on-your-planet-I need-to-phone-home-wow-your-long-distance-plan-sucks-at-least-the-snacks-are-yummy-does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat-type alien.

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Going out on a limb, I’d say I’m not the only one who’s ever felt they’re waiting for the mothership to take them back to their home planet.
If only I’d arrived with an instruction manual. I know my parents wish I did.

Time runs by us, screaming like a babysitter in a horror movie. And as another Halloween creeps up, let us pay our last respects to things gone, but not forgotten…maybe they’ll return someday (hopefully not as zombies):

1. Hairspray, you once permeated every part of our lives, especially our lungs…guess we’re kinda grateful big hair is dead.

2. Mixed tapes have gone to join the choir invisible – mixed emojis?

3. Adieu giving up your seat to someone elderly or disabled or pregnant; apparently now they must fend for themselves, Game of Thrones-style.

4. Farewell phones, attached to a cord, instead of our hand or head.

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5. Once loved and adored, held up on a pedestal, billboards, race cars, own section in the grocery store…poor little gluten, now dead to many, a social pariah.

6. RIP, ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, and ‘You’re Welcome’, now ghosts of civilities past.

7. Quiet time, without tweets, updates, texts, and emails has kicked the bucket…Remember? Probably not, with all the digital amnesia…

8. Showing up at your new neighbours with baked goods has shuffled off this mortal coil; no friendly greetings, just pepper spray, the police, and/or speech on food allergies.

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9. Bereft of life are ‘Thank You’ notes, but I’m still thankful to people who say cardshark instead of cardsharp, so I can picture a shark playing poker.

10. Talking to plants is now pushin’ up the daisies, can’t we just text them, telling them 2 gro?

11. Not asking for gifts and money has kinda bought the farm – #gimme is society’s new hashtag.

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12. Wobbly inside-out pools hidden under threads of Egyptian cotton; waterbeds gone to their watery grave.

13. Patience is at death’s door, but really, there’s nothing you could possibly have to do (or explain to a judge) that’s worth putting children at risk, on Halloween, or any time.
Please pay attention while driving, I promise that absolutely fascinating tweet, update, text, or email about:

  • how porcupines mate without stabbing each other,

  • the shape of dog’s poop,

  • a divine fat, gluten and dairy-free no-bake cheesecake recipe (can that still be called cheesecake?),

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  • cats robbed of their dignity via the internet,

  • if Bon Jovi’s hair is still real (see #1),

  • which Kardashian is getting married or divorced (all of them),

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  • if Taco Bell is health food (it’s not),

  • finding out who died on The Walking Dead (hint hint, no one, they’re actors),

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  • Justin Bieber’s private parts (what part of private is hard to understand, Justin?),   

  • discussions about Donald Trump’s IQ (rich doesn’t equal smart)…

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will all be there later, sadly. If not, what did you really miss?

I guess we make time to do the things we want to do, so I’ll save every blogging day ’til blog eternity passes away, just to spend them with you, dear readers.

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Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Movies, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

You Can’t Handle The Blogging Truth!

Posted on by D. Parker

1halloween40October conjures images of:
Fall leaves, crisp nights… pumpkins and pumpkin spice…Halloween, candy, black cats…sexy Hunger Games costumes, yeah, I’ve stopped asking why at this point…

Apparently, scary is definitely different for different people.

For some scary is:
The dark – where all the known and unknown creep.
Horror movies that make people hide their eyes, but have to peak.
The price of groceries or hydro (both terrifying).
Trying on bathing suits (could turn your hair white).
Dating, parenting, love…
Loss of those we love.
Christmas or any holidays with in-laws.
Elections, wars, politicians.
Loss of cellphone reception (The horror! The horror!).
Running out of chocolate (now that’s horror!).
Liars, vampires, aliens, monsters, sparkly vampires, zombies…

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I started blogging to relax, reignite my love of writing, and to be rich/famous (not necessarily in that order) – 555 posts later, well, two out of three ain’t bad. No one warned it could be so scary!

Life doesn’t come with instructions, we have to grope our way through this at times terrifying funhouse – long strips of goodness, gooey badness, melty magnificence, and squishy horrors – blogging is pretty much the same.

1halloween26It was  a dark and stormy night…Start a blog they said. It’ll be fun they said.

1. You want the blog truth, you can’t handle the blog truth! By the flickering computer light and hum, something wicked this way comes…really, Shakespeare how would thou deal with: endless emails, trolls, glitches, and ghosts in the machine?

2. First, you find your way through the woods (aka the internet) to an old mansion (aka WordPress) where you start your blog. Soon, strange things start happening – stuff moves by itself, stuff disappears, and you find yourself alone, in the dark, and still, you hear the click, click, click of the keyboard…

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3. Come up with a cunning plan, overly elaborate with, as a random example, a dog with a speech impediment; a drug-addled vegetarian with a groovy van; narcissistic metrosexual; frumpy geek girl who needs contacts; and constantly kidnapped drama queen.

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4. Your loved ones look at you oddly as you repeatedly type: All work and no play makes Donna a dull girl…They complain you’re hunched over your shining computer, or using them for…inspiration.

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5. Read aloud from online posts, only to realize, you’ve freed some ancient vengeful Babylonian deity…or worse, a telemarketer! Who you gonna call?

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6. Invited to Bloggers Bash at a spooky mansion, you accept, bloggers are fun, right?

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7. Pop over to Pinterest for a ‘minute’ to find an image or inspiration…later you’re found wandering through the desert and learn you’ve been missing for 7 years and still didn’t find the right meme.

8. Fall asleep at your computer and wake up in a dream where a serial killer is hunting you, or worse, you’ve lost all your followers!

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9. You decide to take a break from writing and take a bath or shower, you know better, but it’s been a long day.

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10. You ask for books to review, but then …One, two, writers are coming for you. Three, four, publishers knock at your door. Five, six, who do you pick? Seven, eight, accept your fate. Nine, ten, never sleep again.

11. You turn to run from the glowing ooze on your keyboard, but there’s a evil clown or worse, housework behind you…your furniture is moving on it’s own, but it’s not getting dusted…Why? Oh why?

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12. Through a series of unfortunate events, you find out your blog is built on an old cemetery and an ancient burial ground where rituals were performed. You could run to another platform, but that’s a lot of work.

13. So I will think of blogging not as a horror movie, but more like a community garden. We all work together to grow something remarkable. There will be ups and downs, but in the end, we’ll all be part of something amazing…as long as nothing comes alive to eat us.

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Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, Environment, Family, Food, Holidays, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

You May Say I’m A Dreamer

Posted on by D. Parker

1apeace22All that peace and love stuff, it’s just idealistic mumbo jumbo, right?

Or is it?

While I admit I don’t understand a lot of stuff, but as long as it’s not really hurting anyone, why would I care?

Too often, the commonly held view seems to be that if we don’t agree, we’re at odds.

Like somehow 7 billion of us are suddenly going to start agreeing, or we have to battle it out Star Trek style.

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For example, I find the rise of pumpkin spice alarming – apparently pumpkin spice is a season now, so the pumpkin spice must flow.

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Here’s a completely incomplete list of stuff people do that I don’t ‘get’, or want to (no particular order):

1. Touching wet paint or wet cement – yes, it’s wet, move on.
2. Running water after going to the bathroom instead of actually washing your hands.
3. Lying, lying, and what was that other thing, oh yeah, lying.
4. Judging a person based on their skin tone, religion, race, nationality, whom they choose to love, clothes, home, family, etc.

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5. Walking into traffic looking at a cellphone.
6. Bad driving.
7. Hurting others, especially children.
8. Loving something just because it’s endorsed by or has the name of a celebrity.

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9. Using racism as a political strategy.
10. Fat shaming, and also those who say fat shaming is wrong, because they’re also calling people fat.
11. Having fictional conversations in your head with others (ok, done this).
12. Not smiling back at a child or being impatient when an elderly person is slowly walking down the stairs in front of you.

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13. Yelling at furniture that jumped out and stubbed your toe (ok, I’ve totally done that).
14. Wearing uncomfortable shoes (especially with stubbed toes).
15. People who pretend they don’t fart (you do, we all do, own it).
16. Reading the instructions after you’ve done something.

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17. Saying “I’m sorry” when you’re not sorry.
18. Unenvironmentalists (you know that should be a word).
19. Buying non-orange pumpkins.
20. Pretending you don’t wish some cool movie-like thing would happen to you today instead of just the usual stuff…come on, you really haven’t done this?

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I can’t understand how people find the time or energy to judge, fight, or generally care so much about everyone else’s business. Does this have to do with our fight or flight response? Not running from sabre-tooth tigers (mostly), our fear response is now triggered by shopping (prices are terrifying), finding info on the internet (bloodcurdling), and politicians (I’ll take the tiger). Obviously our fear of scarcity has survived, so maybe those who are different or disagree feed into that fear. I’m just guessing, frankly, I’m baffled.

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The internet just seethes with fear and loathing which is why I’m happy when I find bloggers who make me smile. David Prosser, a wonderful, funny, and caring blogger from Wales offered the world his Buthidars philosophy https://lorddavidprosser1.wordpress.com/ – a hug, a good deed, a simple gesture, a smile…forging a path toward peace.

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And he shares his life each week at: https://barsetshirediaries.wordpress.com/ and kindly shared one of his novels, The Queen’s Envoy, with the caveat, it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Perhaps, but I emphatically enjoyed the fanciful flight of fictitious foibles. It reminded me of watching Bond movies with my Dad. As a child I didn’t understand what Pussy Galore, Holly Goodhead, and “Oh James!” really meant, but the spirit of adventure always made me feel like anything was possible. I like that feeling, wherever I can find it.

It’s Thanksgiving this weekend in Canada; I’m thankful we can all agree to disagree, eh. I don’t tell people they’re stupid for their beliefs and I don’t expect them to understand my complicated relationships with: chocolate, spiders, TV, sleep, housekeeping, kale, Jane Austen, gravity, technology, toenail clippers, Christmas, pools (you know, cause of sharks), clowns, Thanksgiving, meat, and life in general.

We don’t have to agree to have fun, be respectful, and add love and hope to the world.

All we are saying is give peas peace a chance.

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Posted in Blogs, Books, Chocolate, Family, Holidays, Movies, Televison

The Phantom of the Blogging Tips

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny1068If you are reading this blog there’s a good chance you’re not just a reader, you could also be a blogger yourself…or one of my family or friends (Hi family and friends!).

What I mean is, many people who read blogs are also bloggers who send their creativity out there, into the universe, in one form or another, through an intricate web.

Yet too often, The Phantom of the Blogging Tips (er, Blogera? No? That’s not a thing?) is inside your mind, telling you how to blog instead of letting you find your own voice.

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 So before you’re past the point of no return:

1. Don’t second-guess yourself, there are literally millions of others out there willing to do that for you. Go with your instincts.

2. Before you post you may stop and think: will my readers like this, hate this, be offended, not press ‘Like’, will Unfollow, or what if they send an army of robot ants to carry me off in my sleep? Let me help, the answers are: Hopefully. Possibly. It’s a distinct possibility. Maybe. Hopefully not. And it’s the internet, stranger things have happened.

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3. You’ll do a post you think is amazing, you’ll press publish (very important step, many bloggers forget this one) and tumbleweeds will roll across your blog and you’ll wonder, what did I do wrong? Probably nothing, most likely it was WordPress..again.

4. Your posts could be awesome, but people are busy and there’s an infinite amount of information out there…or they just can’t find your posts.  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/  Get out there and be your own Number One Fan (but not in a creepy Stephen King way).

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5. You may never be Freshly Pressed https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ or gets tons of Likes,  or receive awards, or become an overnight sensation…don’t compare yourself to others, it will suck the joy out of blogging (and life).

6. Don’t be afraid to try something new or different. Tell us about a movie, a book, something you cook, draw, paint, build, remember, did, crafted, give us advice (we might not take it, doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear it)…anything, but it’s your voice we want to hear, authentic, not copied, or some regurgitated whatchamathingies we’ve read everywhere else.

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7. Even if aliens are stealing your likes, keep trying, they’ll give up at some point or move on to another planet.

8. Expect the unexpected, roll with it then work it into a post, like the other day I heard two guys whispering, ‘I’d tap that MILF’ – naturally I looked around to see who they were talking about, then realized it was me. The feminist side of me was appalled and outraged, but the feminine side of me was all-Southern-belle-I-do-declare-swoony. Then they ruined it by adding, ‘Or is she GILF?’. I so don’t look old enough to be a granny! OK, but maybe a cool one.  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/30/revenge-of-the-nouns/  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/26/coulda-woulda-shoulda-2/

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9. Keep a good sense of humour, balance, and if you can, relax, it’s just your diary you’re letting the whole world read, ok, when I say it like that it does sound kind of terrifying. But remember, when in doubt, chocolate out!

10.  Find your own style, your own groove, your own path, your own magic. Cookie cutters are for Christmas, be yourself.

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11. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This applies in blogging too.

12. So ignore all The Phantoms of the Blogging Tips, even me. You can do this.

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Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

I’ve Had The Time Of My Life

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny915You’re the one thing I just can’t get enough of.
I’ll tell you something, it could be blog love.
Because I’ve had the time of my life
and I’ve rarely felt this way before,
I swear, it’s the truth and I owe it all to you…
Always liked Dirty Dancing’s message that nothing is impossible (well, except a sequel with Patrick Swayze…or Jennifer Grey’s original nose).  And that nobody should put me in a corner, unless I paint myself in (true story).

Which lead me to Laggies, ok Sam Rockwell lead me there, but intrigued and entertained, I stayed. Kiera Knightley plays a quirky woman (no surprise, but this time, no British accent, way to step out there) who too often waits for others to make decisions for her. Instead of living life according to someone else’s schedule, beliefs, and dreams she decides to follow her heart, her dreams, and finds a her version of happiness.

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I’ve been getting along with my happiness Project, here’s the first 10 weeks and the next 4…
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/25/in-my-life-i-loved-them-all/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/07/03/how-to-be-good-to-one-another/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/06/shout-shout-my-2-year-blog-birthday-let-it-all-out/

Week 11

1. Company from out-of-town, got them hooked on Haven, muhahaha…also, food involved.

2. Realized people would be 500lbs if they ate as much food as the characters in Joanne Fluke books.

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3. Read a great book on memory…can’t remember the title.

4. Re-pledged undying allegiance to public libraries.

5.  Thought about taking up knitting….hmm, instead read a book about women in a knitting club, close enough.

6.  Read Beekeeping for Dummies…I have more chance of being a bee than a beekeeper apparently.

7. Tried not to second guess myself, wait, unless that’s a bad idea.

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Week 12

1. Had a zen moment where I just felt floaty – good job remembering not to do this while driving or operating heavy machinery.

2. Donated more stuff.

3. Dental emergency – I know I’ve always tried to be good to you, teeth, but I’ll redouble my efforts.

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4. Pain from dental work, watched The Originals and thought, do vampires need dental work?

5. Some pain, not as much as Orphan Black (wow, Tatiana Maslany playing endless clones just never gets boring), had me revisiting The Island of Dr. Moreau, did I almost forgot how epic H.G. Wells was?

6. Went to mall and yard sales, not sure which were more surreal, people buying junk or selling it.

7. Watched Fear The Walking Dead, really, like anyone would notice the zombie apocalypse that quickly these days, especially in LA.

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Week 13

1. Haters gonna hate, but they’re just noise, listened to the good stuff instead.

2. Lost more of my baby weight, sure, my baby’s 17, but better late than never, right?

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3. Computer’s dying; it has Windows Vista if that gives you any idea of it’s age. Looked for new one.

4. Worried excessively about passing driving test until I noticed I had chocolate…feeling fine.

5. Passed my last driving test, yup, you can teach an old dog new tricks.  They’re dreadfully obsessed with parallel parking, so this is about parallel posting, aka, please leave your link here (in the comment section – any post) for others to find to celebrate with me.

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6. Saw a music video that made me wonder if I’d been dancing incorrectly for years as my underwear doesn’t show.

7. Master of Horror Wes Craven, died. I always wondered, could some of my insomnia stem from watching Nightmare of Elm Street?

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Week 14

1. Spent time chatting online with Microsoft; quickly realized I knew more than they did.

2. Reminded again how wonderful and brave my son is.

3. Sang Nothing Compares 2 U, out loud, thinking of my blogging friends.

4. Oh, so that’s what it sounds like when the doves cry.

1funny925

5. Thought about what I’m going to do next, writing wise.

6. Made a bouquet of pencils.

7. Wrote more emails to politicians and news people.

Remember, it’s just an illusion the world is racing past, go at the speed that makes you happy. Have the time of your life.

1funny918

 

Posted in Canada, Family, Holidays, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

How To Be Good To One Another

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny612One life but we’re not the same we get to carry each other,
carry each other.
One…One…One…
~U2

How to be good to one another. We could start by spending less time arguing about: who’s right, who’s wrong, who’s what, who’s to blame.

The internet exploded last week, with rainbows, due to the U.S. Supreme Court same-sex marriage decision.
Online profile pictures went rainbow. #LoveWins trended worldwide.
June is Gay Pride Month so this added to the parties, parades, pride.
I’m pretty sure if you checked, your poo might be rainbow too.

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It’s a great step for equality, I only hope hype and hyperbole don’t bog down the message that it’s not so much about this issue, but about fighting for rights, not just new ones, but the ones we already enjoy.

It’s been 10 years of marriage equality in Canada (Happy Belated Birthday Canada! You don’t look a day over 147), joined by 17 other countries: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Denmark, France, Iceland, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Uruguay, Sweden, the United Kingdom, and now The United States of America. Come on, why aren’t there more? Who cares who you love, as long as you love?

1love51
Sadly, on the same day of this ruling, there were also:
terrorist attacks, natural disasters, murders, child abuse, rapes, corruption, and more.
This decision doesn’t stop bigotry, hatred, racism, or human rights abuses.
It doesn’t feed the world’s hungry, or stop conflicts,
but it does add some equality (can’t have enough of that),
it makes people happy (especially wedding planners and lawyers),
and it shows that justice is still out there, we just have to expand its reach.

1funny647

I’m always amazed at how so many people have the time or energy for:
hate, prejudice, racism, hypocrisy, manipulation, machinations, lying, stealing, playing the ‘gotcha’ game, cheating, and judging – especially for people or groups of people they don’t even know.
That must be draining, or maybe invigorating? I can understand, everyone has felt or done that stuff at one time or another, but holding onto that just seems weird and in the end, you must hate yourself the most.

1funny679

Week 5 of my year-long try-to-find-happiness challenge is on.
Here are the first 4 weeks if you want to catch up or need a refresher.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/25/in-my-life-i-loved-them-all/

Week 5 (approximately 10% done!):

1. Accept that apology never given. This one is soooo difficult, but this is something I really want to do for myself, but more, something I want to teach my son.

2. Embrace my age gracefully, doing a fairly good job, but I’m still going to avoid full-length mirrors, come on, we’ve all seen funhouses, these have got to be the same mirrors, right?

July 1 Do something really Canadian for Canada Day. Maybe respectfully pour Canadian beer on maple syrup butter tarts, Nanaimo bars, and poutine while playing hockey, eh.

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4. Drink one more glass of water per day.

5. Pack up a box of stuff and give it away.

July 4 Celebrate our American neighbours by watching that fascinating documentary about the time they saved the world from alien invasion, you know, Independence Day.

7. Clean out that closet. I thought I should tell someone where I’m going so if I’m not back in an hour, send help.

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How to be good to one another? Be kind and accepting. Accept that people have different beliefs, opinions, cultures, politics, points of view, religions, lifestyles, life experiences, abilities, neurofunctions; different ways to love, to live, to grieve, to have fun, to be angry, to be sad. Just because someone isn’t the same as you doesn’t mean they’re: wrong, scary, defective, a sinner, a monster, or a loser. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, don’t worry about different.
Life’s way too short to be: feared or fearful, hating or hated; try to love and be loved.

If you really have to worry about something,
worry about being good to one another.

1funny659

Posted in Books, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Movies, Music, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

Come To The Dark Side, We Have Cookies

Posted on by D. Parker

14th4“They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes.”
Princess Leia Organa of Aldaraan, Senator

This is one of my favourite quotes from Star Wars, though it was never used in the movies. I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve been in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if one believes in fate, perhaps I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Each day is filled with choices, decisions, some huge, life-changing and others little, although who knows, they might be life changing as well.

Today is May the 4th, some may know it as Intergalactic Star Wars Day. For some, that’s everyday.
Nerds greet each other with, May the 4th Be With You. Posts, memes, parties, hash tags, sales, and news stories converge, in greater numbers.
Although this May 4th, the news is more about Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana than Princess Leia.14th21
Tomorrow, to a lesser degree with Revenge of the Fifth, although I think Revenge of the Sixth makes more sense. Is that a thing?

14th22

An old nemesis has descended upon me this May the 4th – my Darth Vader, my Boba Fett, Jabba the Hut (probably rather have Pizza the Hut), Rancor (although it smells better), Greedo, or Count Dooku –  I’ve loosely titled it, Stars Wars VIII: Return of the Back Pain. Luckily it doesn’t hurt as much when I sit…and if I go over to The Dark Side, I hear they have cookies.
I think I know what brought it on, an unusual activity (not nearly as exciting as it sounds).

1starwars12
It also brings back horrible memories of the car accident where the pain originated and I’m left to watch my back, like the aptly titled book, Watch Your Back! by Richard A. Deyo MD (Cornell University Press). I read this last time my back pain flared, hoping for some answers. It left me with more questions as it’s straightforward information shone a light on The Dark Side of the medical profession which offers people less and less, for more and more.

We don’t like to think that our pain is a business, but it’s big business.
This book won’t be popular, it points out that the medical profession, like politics and other systems, to paraphrase George Lucas, is like a great tree, able to withstand any external force, but rots from within. The lure of money, power, and prestige can overcome common sense and decency.
I understand the temptation of the magic fix, but realistically I know I have to do most of the figurative heavy lifting.
As patients we should be pushing for more treatments that are sensible, empowering, and give effective, long-term results for moderate costs.14th20

I’m used to being in constant pain with Fibromyalgia, it waxes and wanes, but never actually ceases, but in a strange way pain can also be freeing. You see past the Jedi mind tricks or I guess more like Sith mind tricks…you see the truth.1starwars15

What about you, dear readers, do you ever see The Dark Side of people when they think they can’t get anything from you?

Do you also see the power of The Force of goodness when some people like you just the way you are?
The latter is what I choose to believe in.

May the Fourth be with you.

Posted in Autism, Canada, Chocolate, Doctor Who, Holidays, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized

Now You’re Just Some Bunny That I Used To Know

Posted on by D. Parker

easter13

What motivates us?
I’m sure the answer is different for everyone.
Praise. Power. People. Passion. Puzzles.
Possessions. Prestige. Punishment.
Pleasure. Position. Politics. Possibilities.

I know what my motivation is to eat Benedict Cumberbatch, that is, the life-size chocolate statute of Benedict Cumberbatch. Seriously, there’s now a 40kg Belgian chocolate replica of most everyone’s favourite Aspergian detective, because he was chosen as #1 dishiest UK actor in a survey. David Tennant was the runner-up. Oh I don’t know, that would be a tough call. Can I have both? Er, in chocolate?

1choc37dw13

 Today is Autism Awareness Day worldwide, and those on the Autism Spectrum have often been called, differently motivated. Too many people don’t (or choose not to) understand this. Their theory seems to be if you aren’t motivated by something they can understand then you must be: stupid, lazy, defective, foolish, or a loser.  Intolerance shows itself in varied ugly forms.

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We’re still in the beginning stages of a long journey to try to get people to understand Autism. It’s a neurological difference. Things changed, doesn’t mean it’s terrible or catastrophic.

Some things we used to believe:

  • Some thought the Earth was flat (those are called pancakes).

  • If an elevator is falling, jump up (you’ll just hit the ceiling).

  • Putting sugar in a gas tank ruins the car (still not a good idea).

  • Spontaneous generation from inanimate objects (er, no, just no).

  • The human body is made up of four humors – black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood (some days I wonder).

  • A duck’s quack doesn’t echo (it does, it does, it does).

  • Dropping a penny off a high building could kill someone (how about a quarter?).

  • Quicksand sucks you under (only in the movies).

  • Earth revolves around the Sun (you’re not our only friend, Sun).

  • we’re the center of the Universe (actually, a lot of people still believe that they’re the center of the Universe).

My son, who is the center of my Universe has Asperger’s. He’s differently motivated, but that’s not always a bad thing.  He doesn’t succumb to peer pressure. He doesn’t believe everything he reads or sees – he questions. He doesn’t worship at the altar of consumerism. He thinks outside the box, actually, I’m not even sure he knows there is a box.1funny127

1choc36We should stop measuring everyone by one standard and enjoy the differences.

So whether you celebrate World Autism Awareness Day, and/or Easter – all the best!

Viva la difference!

Posted in Chocolate, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

Go ahead, make my St. Patrick’s Day!

Posted on by D. Parker

irish10

I know what you’re thinking, was it a 3 or 4 leaf shamrock?
To tell you the truth in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself.
Seein’ as how St. Patrick’s Day is almost here…
people will be wearin’ the green, singing, dancing and enjoying libations,
you’ve got to ask yourself one question.
Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya, dear readers?
Go ahead, make my St. Patrick’s Day!

  • The 1st rule of St. Patrick’s Day, you do not talk about St. Patrick’s Day!

  • This St. Patrick’s Day I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

  • I’ve always depended upon the kindness of Irish strangers, except no one’s a stranger on St. Patrick’s Day.

  • Listen to them, children of the Irish, what beautiful music they make.

  • If you pour the beer, they will come.

  • I love the smell of shamrocks in the morning!

  • The Shamrock Redemption

  • I see Irish people. They’re everywhere. Some of them don’t even know they’re not Irish.irish4

  • Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Ireland anymore.irish8

  • May the Green be with you.

  • Nobody puts a wee Leprechaun baby in the corner.

  • What we’ve got here is a failure to excommunicate!

  • I feel the need, the need for Irish speed.

  • I’m still Irish, it’s the holiday that got less Irish!

  • Show me the blarney!

  • You do know how to whistle Toora Loora Loora, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.

  • We’re goin’ need a bigger bar.

  • Say hello to my little friend…they like to be called that now, the Leprechauns.

  • Life is like a box of Baileys chocolates, you just never remember what you got. 

  • Hope you’ve enjoyed my St. Patrick’s Day-goes-to-the-movies edition. Remember, what happens on St. Patrick’s Day stays on St. Patrick’s Day.irish9

     

Posted in Holidays, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

It’s Friday the 13th, Do You Know Where Your Serial Killer is?

Posted on by D. Parker

13th3With Friday the 13th and St. Patrick’s Day so close this year, will bad luck rub off or will the luck of the Irish prevail? Maybe a cage match between Jason Voorhees and a Leprechaun and may the best, er, whatever they are, win.

Are you among the millions who believe Friday the 13th is bad luck?

Are you especially careful on this day? Statistically, there are actually fewer accidents and injuries on Friday the 13th, most likely because people are more cautious.

  • Do you have any superstitions?

  • Do you carry a good luck charm or talisman?

  • Believe in signs?

  • Omens?

  • Portents?13th1

  • Do you wear a special outfit for a job interview or date?

  • Have a lucky symbol or charm with you when taking a test?

  • Not shower before the big game?

  • Bring a troll (hopefully just a toy one) with you to bingo?

  • Don’t trust black cats?

  • Never walk under a ladder?

  • Throw salt over your left shoulder if you spill salt?

  • Freak out if you break a mirror?

I can’t think of any of that I believe in, then again, I don’t really believe in luck either. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong in believing, unless it controls you.13th5

Why is Friday the 13th considered unlucky? Theories abound.

  • The combination of 13 being considered an unlucky number and Friday an unlucky day.

  • Books, movies, urban legends, numerology, deaths, etc. about it.

  • People coping with grief or trauma often try to find something to blame, perhaps superstitions seemed an easy scapegoat.

  • Humans always want an explanation or excuse.

Strange thing is, most countries and cultures don’t actually consider Friday the 13th unlucky…

Dear readers, do you do anything different on Friday the 13th?

I could suggest the new Friday the 13th movie released today,
I think it’s called:

Friday the 13th Part XXXV:
Jason Kills Again at his Seniors Assisted Living Home

13th10

Good luck…we’re all counting on you.

Posted in Food, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

We’ll Always Have Pancakes

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/Tuesday isn’t Friday. And it never will be.

Tuesday Weld (Susan Ker Weld) legally changed her name in 1959. She was born on a Friday. While filming Wild in the Country (1961) Weld was professionally and personally involved with Elvis. Elvis died at 42, on Tuesday August 16, 1977. There are those that believe otherwise…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

Tuesday is thankful it’s not Monday; people seem to really hate Monday.

Ruby Tuesday, the classic hit by The Rolling Stones was originally titled, Title B. Hmmm, would a chain of restaurants called themselves Title B ?

People are allegedly the least ‘frisky’ on Tuesdays.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

October 29, 1929, also known as Black Tuesday, when the New York Stock Exchange crashed, signalling the beginning of The Great Depression, which may have been badly named.

Tuesday June 6, 1944, D-Day. Allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, France to liberate Nazi-controlled Europe.

If You Give a Pig a Pancake by Laura Numeroff, illustrated by Felicia Bond is one is a series of children’s books that teaches cause and effect. The usual effect for me? When reading it to my son, I wanted pancakes.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

Tuesday is allegedly the most productive day of the work week. If you’re reading this at work, that may not be true.

Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday – all the same day. Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many Christians. Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras is a time to celebrate and feast on foods not allowed during the austerity of Lent, most of which are rich in fat…now I’m drooling at the thought of pancakes. Even if people don’t observe Lent, many celebrate Pancake Tuesday or Fat Tuesday.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

Here’s one of my favourite pancake recipes:

½ cup flour (your choice)
1 ½ cups of oatmeal
1 tbsp honey
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
Mix together lightly in a large bowl.
Add 1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sour milk (you can make milk sour by adding 1 tsp vinegar)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 large egg
Mix gently and cook with a small amount of butter/olive oil mixture to grease the pan.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

Garnish to taste and enjoy!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

“He respects Owl, because you can’t help respecting anybody who can spell Tuesday even if he doesn’t spell it right” ~AA Milne

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Internet, Uncategorized

Blue Monday: Being depressed on schedule

Posted on by D. Parker

1blue4

So the January blahs have set in and you’re feeling blue…now what?

Is it the weather, Christmas excitement gone, holiday bills arriving, resolutions becoming less resolute by the hour, tired of shoveling?

Or because someone told you it’s Blue Monday?

 We only heard about Blue Monday in songs or grumblings until it became an official thing 10 years ago.

But what’s so wrong with being blue anyway?
Cookie monster is blue.
So are:
Blue bonnets
Blueberries
Blue birds
Dory
Blue skies
Blue oceans
Blue Moons
Grover
Gonzo
The Na’vi
Blue eyes
Blue crayons

For X-Files fans...
For X-Files fans…

Blue popsicles
The Blue Room
The Blues
Topaz
Blue suede shoes…
Doesn’t blue symbolize loyalty, trust and confidence?

It can’t be because it’s the most depressing day of the year, surely there are other days in the running?
What about Valentine’s Day, that can be depressing for those without a Valentine.
Tax Day…enough said.
Black Friday, it highlights the rank consumerism of our society.
Election Day…depending.
When your sports team loses.
Birthdays, for some.
A day with bad news.
A day of a funeral.
The day you try on your swimsuit for the summer.1blue6
Come on, some of these days must be more depressing than Blue Monday, especially when Blue Monday coincides with Martin Luther King Jr Day. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/28/is-the-dream-still-alive/

Is Blue Monday just tapping into the epidemic of loneliness that shadows our modern world? Or a First World WhineFest?

If you’re blue, go out today and help someone else.

Take stock of your life, if you don’t like it, make changes.

Be aware. Be caring. Be committed. Be smart. Be kind. Be fun. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be you.

Look around, it’s just another day. 1440 minutes. 24 hours. And it’s not over yet.

And the weirdest part? It’s going to be another day tomorrow.1elves15

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Political

GO HOME CHRISTMAS YOU’RE DRUNK

Posted on by D. Parker

1christmas53Go home Christmas you’re drunk…
on power.

There’s no escape. Resistance is futile.

Yet what about those who don’t celebrate Christmas?
Or don’t have anyone with whom to celebrate?
Or those for whom it holds bad memories?
Or those who have other beliefs?
Or what if you love the holidays, but don’t like the commercialism and drama of it?
They still have to fight the crowds, listen to incessant carols, and have their world look like Christmas has been sick everywhere.

We’re still hearing abo1christmas52ut the War on Christmas when really, it looks more like Christmas has gone on a bender. Christmas is bigger than ever. Santa is still selling Coke. Jesus is still praised at midnight masses. Commercialism is still going strong.

Stores use terms like Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays to allegedly be inclusive, really it’s to extend the shopping period. The sustained commercialism has made for sustained greetings. Offices use these terms because Christmas cheer reduces productivity. Also, Christmas isn’t the only religious or non-religious celebration this time of year, how about: Yule, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Chalica, Bodhi Day, Sadeh, Pancha Ganapati, Hogmanay, Yalda and yes, even Feast of Winter Veil and Festivus. Including others, I can’t think of anyone, especially in the Bible who would be for that…oh wait.

I don’t understand how saying Happy Holidays offends. That’s like saying I can’t eat cookies because you’re on a diet. If someone saying Season’s Greetings will shatter a belief in Christ, there’s a problem. Poor Christmas, maybe it needs to stop worrying about what others think of it.

If only we spent more time worrying about peace, kindness, love, hope, and everyone having enough.

Posted in Chocolate, Christmas, Holidays, Political

Enhanced Christmas Infusion Techniques

Posted on by D. Parker

1christmas44

Evil wins when it destroys our belief in good. Santa knew that better than anyone, he specialized in good, he had a list for it. He also had a list for naughty and he was going to have to add to that list.

Santa grimly looked out the window, his white gloves absently touching the papers on his desk. He knew this report would forever change the way people viewed The North Pole and possibly Christmas.

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The CIA (Christmas Intensity Agency) could be a little overzealous in their protection and advancement of Christmas, but he hadn’t known or let himself think about the lengths they might have gone to in the War on Christmas.

1christmas42

In their zeal to make people believe in Christmas the CIA had done unspeakable things. People had been forced to: untangle tree lights for hours on end; eat fruitcake, gumdrops, candy, candy corn, candy canes, cookies; watch hours of Christmas movies, even the made-for-TV ones; had been sleep-deprived so no visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; were syrupboarded; made to wear holiday cheer; stand on broken candy canes; endless Christmas songs, and even had their families threatened. Not to mention blowing a large portion of the Christmas budget and for what? The conclusion was clear, the Enhanced Christmas Infusion Techniques were not only sadistic and inhumane, but ineffective.

1elves4

Santa couldn’t understand what had caused the CIA to do such horrible things. He opened the book entitled, The Naughty List, picked up his pen and dipped it into the inkwell, shaking his head again in anger and disbelief, they’d never even asked if those people believed in Christmas.

1christmas38

Evil only wins if it destroys our belief in good.

Posted in Canada, Christmas, Environment, Holidays, Political, Uncategorized

Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

Posted on by D. Parker

“This is Anna Bjo1elves15rgman, reporting from The North Pole where it appears protesters from The Occupy Movement have set up camp to Occupy The North Pole.” Shivering in her Canada Goose parka, the young woman bravely placed the microphone in front of one of the Occupiers, “Excuse me, why has The Occupy Movement decided to Occupy The North Pole this Christmas?”

A handsome young man flashed a smile that was whiter than the snow around him before answering, “Actually, the Occupy movement is so three years ago. We’re the Change The North Pole Movement, because we believe the climate up here needs to change!”

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Pushing his iPhone6 into the pocket of his Moncler parka, Christian continued, “Santa is a fat rich old white man who has his own town, slave labour, and only works one day a year!”

Christian paused to point to the various tents, barricades, signs, and a handful of protesters milling around the streets of The North Pole. “Santa’s the ultimate symbol of capitalism! He teaches children to be materialistic!”

A beautiful young woman holding two large Starbucks cups, smiled coyly as she handed Christian one of the steaming cup, “I got your fav, Christian, Double Tall Soy Latte,” Bianca crooned before turning a dazzling smile on the reporter. “We want human need, not corporate greed!”

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The reporter, slightly stunned by all the dazzling smiles, wondered where they’d managed to find a Starbucks at The North Pole and was momentarily at a loss for words. Recovering swiftly, she nodded at her cameraman Hans to follow her as she walked with the protesters toward Santa’s Workshop. “What is it you hope to accomplish by Occupying, er, Changing The North Pole?”1elves13

Christian took a sip of his latte, looking thoughtful before answering. “The income inequality and wealth distribution between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population is no more obvious than here at The North Pole. The elves are the 99%. We want to bring awareness that while Santa sits around smoking a pipe, getting fatter, and being jolly, there is social and economic inequality here and worldwide.”

Bianca stepped brashly forward. “We want people to think, to ask questions, not just blindly follow the Santa Laws!” She then gaily waved at another protester and quickly texted what looked like gibberish before continuing, “There is no better slave than a slave who doesn’t know he’s a slave. I think Bono or Ariana Grande said that and they were so right. People need to wake up! People need see what’s in front of them!”

1christmas122

A frigid wind raged as the reporter watched the two young people start texting, knowing she’d lost the little attention they possessed. With strains of happy Christmas songs emanating from Santa’s Workshop and chants of We Are Changing the Climate of the North Pole! behind her, the reporter smiled weakly at the camera and threw it back to the station with a simple yet bemused, “This is Anna Bjorgman, umm, do you wanna build a snowman?”

1christmas88

Posted in Christmas, Environment, Holidays, Political

Slightly Less Stupid

Posted on by D. Parker

1bang2If I worried about doing or saying something stupid I’d never open my mouth, write anything or probably leave the house, but as I get older I hope I’m slightly less stupid.
For me, the Christmas season seems to come with the gift of introspection. Maybe it’s because the season brings out the best and worst in people.
This year the news is filled with bizarre, almost surreal images that still seem vaguely familiar.
Terrorism. Shopping frenzies. Economic manipulations by the rich. Protests against the police for what can only be categorized as cataclysmically abysmal conduct. Since the police aren’t getting in trouble, their behaviour must be explicit or implicit policy, which makes it more disturbing.

Wrapped in a cloak of civility we shiver against the winds of change. As we become more and more comfortable, any discomfort sets off a fear response in us. We’ve been the white meat for a long time now, worth more, and as much as we say we’re not prejudiced, we are. And we’re fearful, why else would we vote in politicians that are self-serving fear mongers who only want to further their agendas?
People hide their fear, but it’s there. As society becomes more inclusive, more politically correct, the fear festers. It’s Christmastime and there is a need to be afraid, about what’s really fearful.
Fearful that corporations run our governments, who don’t serve in the best interests of their citizens.
Fearful we’re more worried about apps, vacations, eating out, fashion, and entertainment than about the environment.
Fearful that a lack of respect for each other has lead to arguing, bickering, even, as we’ve seen, death.
Fearful households are sagging under the weight of their debts, countries are struggling to stay afloat.
Fearful poverty, hunger, inequality, injustice, and war are still accepted.
Fearful in a world of constant connection, we seem further apart than ever.

Police are hired to protect and serve.
Governments are elected to govern.

Kindness and compassion are a language understood by all, we need to remember how to speak it.

We all want to change the world, but not enough people want to change. Waiting in line for a new iPhone, or Christmas wrapping services, or Drake’s new store, concert, movie, restaurant, etc. we have the power in our wallets – stop waiting and stand up for something that will be a positive change.

Sometimes there’s too much going on to see what’s really going on.
As we grow older, wouldn’t it be better if we got slightly less stupid?
This has all happened before and it will all happen again…history doesn’t have to be a broken record.

Posted in Christmas, Food, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

We are Santa’s elves

Posted on by D. Parker

1elves11Unseasonably warm, it seemed a beautiful day to go for a long walk. Little did I know chaos had broken out at The North Pole. As I wandered off to do errands and go to the library, behind the scenes, disgruntled elves had declared war on Christmas! Tired of deplorable working conditions, the Elves went on strike.

Santa seemed bemused, telling the media, “I’ve spent more money on elves, especially Veteran elves than any other Santa in the history of Santas.”

The elves shot back with a list of demands.

“We’re tired of being pushed around!” Chief SpokesElf Snowball exclaimed. “We don’t have glamorous jobs like fighting to save Middle-earth, making cookies in trees, being a warrior in Hyrule, or saving Harry Potter, we just make toys!”

Other elves murmured their agreement.

“We love making toys, but day in and day out, it’s torture!” Snowball climbed up on a festive stool to point at the growing crowd of elves. “No one talks about the harassment we endure when we go into town, we can’t even walk down the street without hearing, Hey Sugarplum, or Twinkletoes, Peppermint Buns, Angel Ears, Sprinklepants.” Snowball sat down heavily on the stool, head in hands, as if unable to carry on.

Another elf patted Snowball on the back and continued, “We want to work, but we have to sing the whole time and some elves, I won’t mention any names, cough cough, Buddy, sing loud for all to hear, off key. And why does Santa’s Workshop have to be at The North Pole, why not Aruba or Belize?” Holly sighed and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. “We have a mandatory diet of cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, candy corn, do you know what all these gumdrops are doing to my diet?”

Cries of Here, Here! and One Two Three Four Eating Cookies is a Bore! rang through the workshop.

“We have to wear these outfits all the time,” Holly sighed, pointing down at her tacky elf outfit. “And now they’re loaning us out to sit on shelves, what’s with that?”1elves8

But while the elves were rallying, the reindeer escaped and went flying around the world, stuffing themselves on fast food and samples at Costco; getting liquored up before knocking down unsuspecting pedestrians. This is where I come in, one minute I was walking, the next I was on the ground, in the mud. The reindeer didn’t even stop, it kept talking on it’s cellphone, at least, I think it was a reindeer.

With only 19 sleeps before the Big Night, let’s hope Santa and the Elves can work this out.

Posted in Chocolate, Family, Food, Holidays, Uncategorized

12 Hours of CyberMonday

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

In the first hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me a Star Wars Christmas Tree (The Christmas Force Awakens?).

In the second hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 2 Christmas sweaters (or jumpers, either way, not sure I’m that cold just yet).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

 In the third hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 3 motion-activated candy dispensers (it says motion, that burns calories, right?).

In the fourth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 4 boxes of chocolates (aaaand, they’re gone!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

In the fifth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 5 Lord of the Rings action figures (you had me at action).

In the sixth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 6 personalized mix tape pillows (really, couldn’t even make me a real mixed tape?).

In the seventh hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 7 robotic vacuums (wait, is he saying my house is dirty?).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

In the eighth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 8 paint your own rain boots kits (really, that’s a thing?).

In the ninth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 9 zombie survival kits (be nice, I’ll share).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

In the tenth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 10 Disney Frozen Sparkle Princess Elsa Dolls (any guesses what my donation to the toy drive will be this year?).

In the eleventh hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 11 live video camera drones (I love what you’ve done with your bedroom!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

In the twelfth hour of CyberMonday my true love…oops, his credit card was declined.

The shopping force is strong in people around this time of year.

Shop wisely, regrets can be expensive…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/12/01/12-hours-of-cyber-monday/

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Holidays, Uncategorized

‘Twas the month before Christmas

Posted on by D. Parker

‘Twas the month before Christmas

‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring, er, you find a rhyme…
I’m just not that witty.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Oops, don’t have a chimney, hmmm…
Oh well, Santa’s magic, who cares?

The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
(your business what you’re doing there)
While visions of shopping malls danced
in their wallets and heads.

I in my Soft Kitty PJs and the cat in the hat
Had just settled down to read,
maybe eat some cookies…
How about that?

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed (ok, sprang is an exaggeration),
To see what was the matter.

It was only a drunk guy,
With his nose all aglow,
Shouting and singing,
Let it go, let it snow, let it go…

The moral of this story is plain to see
Please don’t sing outside my house
At Christmas or any other time,
Even on key…

1christmas33

Posted in Family, Holidays, Poetry, Uncategorized

In the blink of an eye

Posted on by D. Parker

I wish we could talk again
Like we used to years ago
You should be here right now
I wish you didn’t have to go

The voice whispering in my head
A voice so beloved yet dead
A voice I hear and sometimes hate
Because it’s gone away

What did I last say to you
I don’t even remember
Goodbyes are so frustrating
More if you don’t say them

I miss the things I never had
Though I don’t know what they are
I miss the time and the place
Before we were pulled apart

I’m not myself right now
The air pushed from my lungs
My breath a frightened child
Hiding in the dark, waiting

I wish we could go back
Before we forgot what was real
The voice shattering in my head
A voice so treasured never dead

What did you last say to me
I don’t even remember
I miss the things I always had
I miss the future because it’s past.

Be thankful
In the blink of an eye
Everything changes.

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