We’d be streaming incessantly (beyond Netflix, YouTube and Amazon Prime). I’ve been testing all the “Free Trials” of streaming services, I’ve tried: “Acorn TV”, “Disney+”, “Crave/HBO/TMN”, “Britbox”, and heading toward “Apple TV”, “National Geographic”, “Smithsonian”, and “Shudder” – who knows how far I’ll get, drinking my tea, watching me some “free”…
Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).
We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.
Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).
Trying to learn languages. For me, I’m trying to learn the important stuff first, for example: “Spero tu stia passando una bella giornata miei adorati lettori, avete pasta per me? “(“I hope you are having a nice day my beloved readers, do you have pasta for me?”); “Ich brauche Kuchen” (“I need cake”); “¿Donde estan las galletas?” (“Where are the cookies?”); “Je veux de la pizza” (“I want pizza”)…just some essential phrases.
Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).
We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):
Flattening/flatten the curve
Planking/plank the curve
Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)
Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)
Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)
Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)
Oropharyngeal swabs (updates from Dr. Fauci, Dr. Tam, Dr. Birx and others are like watching police dramas, they all talk about swabs a lot, “Did you get the swabs?”, “I got the swabs”, “Did you need another swab?”, “What do ya mean we’re out of swabs? Get more swabs!”, “We need billions of swabs!”. Police shows and pandemics, brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, but that’s a whole other story https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/18/this-is-not-a-toy/)
ACE-2 is a gateway receptor (who knows what it will lead to?).
Be comforted by bedtime stories from: Dolly Parton, David Tennant, Oprah, Stephen Fry, Betty White, Rami Malek, James McAvoy, Sarah Silverman, Chris Pine, Kristen Bell, Tom Hardy – ooooh, can he read them in Bane (he was so ahead of his time, he worse a mask, quarantined a city and cancelled all events, including sports) or Venom voices too, please?
And James Earl Jones – seriously, Darth Vader reads me to sleep, “May The Fourth Be With You” and Beware the “Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth” and too much spicy food on Cinco de Mayo could cause Revenge of the Shi…well, you know, moderation, ok?.
So much crushing on Andrew Cuomo, so many Cuomosexuals…
Worrying about Murder Hornets, really, who came up with that name, at least make it alliterative, how about “Homicide Hornets” or “Horror Hornets”? Like this: “Slaughter Slugs”, “Maiming Moths”, “Assassin Ants”, “Snuff Snails”…
Getting slightly ever so bored with: baking (getting too warm now anyway); is there enough testing, not enough testing (it’s making me testy);
Zoomfail hashtags (don’t you wish you’d bought shares in Zoom?); “Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo”, kidding, who could ever get tired of that?,
people arguing about “Mandela Effect” online, hmmm, or maybe that never happened.
Making masks, cleaning masks, remembering to bring your masks, remembering not to wear a hockey mask to the grocery store…so many things to remember, what was I talking about again?
Being on video, seriously, before all this I hated going on camera or video, now it’s, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Zoom, no, no, not that close!”.
People actually listening to someone that lies incessantly, slurs their words, and suggests we could kill COVID-19 by injecting disinfectant into the body and/or UV light, no buddy, why are you like this, why are you the way you are?
That we’d be staying so much: “Stay Home”, “Stay Safe”, “Stay Connected”, “Stay At Home”, “Stay Healthy”, Sit/”Stay”/Roll Over, “Stay in place”, “Stay trippy dude”, “Stay the course”, “Stay fresh” (seriously, you need to shower even if you’re isolated alone)…
I can easily imagine self-isolation has lead to re-enacting musicals with Star Wars action figures, Muppets and/or hand shadows, I’m sure someone somewhere is doing this (please, please, please send me links).
That our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (Canada rules!) would tell us the things, the things he knows that stop you from “speaking moistly” (oh baby, speak moistly to me)…
I’ll be here for you When the someone knocks on your door (gasp!) I’ll be here for you When you’re dreaming Obama is still POTUS
I’ll be here for you ‘Cause you’re here for me too (on Zoom?)
No one could ever know me (cause I’m wearing a mask) No one could ever see me (cause I’m doing a flask task at home)
Seems now more people know What it’s like to be…chronically me?
Someone to Facetime (Skype/Zoom/Messenger, text, call, whatever) the day with.
Make it through Quarantine Life (only going out for necessities of life, I don’t know about toilet paper, but donuts count, right?) with…
Someone I’ll always laugh with Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah
I’ll be here for you When the sun starts to shine
I’ll be here for you When for the great outdoors we pine…
I’ll be here for you ‘Cause we’re (patiently?) waiting for a sign
I’ll be here for you (speaking moistly)
I’ll be here for you (singing: Andrea Bocelli; Ultravox; Ramones; Ed Sheeran; Elton John; Cher (if we could turn back time); Green Day – don’t wannabe an, well, you-know-what;
Foo Fighters; Nivana; The Beatles – “Don’t Come Together”, “We All Live in Self-Quarantine”;
I’ll be here for you (sissying my quarantine fashion, picture me rocking Mickey Mouse leggings, Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt, Paddington coat, and Nirvana baseball cap https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/03/17/im-still-standing-yeah-yeah-yeah/, strangely enough, no pictures, that I know of, while putting red ribbons on the trees to say “Thank You – no thanks are ever ever ever going to be enough for our essential workers, but you could start with simple steps: Be Kind, Stay Home, Wash Your Hands).
Hope you’re here for me too (but like, not here here, like, there but emotionally here, together but apart, but connected, so non-contagious virtual hugs and chats and tweets, comments, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, and all that, but over there while I’m over here, but we’ll both be there, well, here for each other…I’m confused. I need more simplicity https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressive-simplification/What about you?).
Oooooh, my little pathogen, my pathogen! Don’t be givin’ me germs, #Corona Ooh, you make me petrified, me petrified! Got it coming off o’ the flight from #China My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa! M-m-m-my #coronavirus
Did you sing it to “My Sharona” by The Knack? The original lyrics are actually scarier/creepier… Pandemic, more like Pant-demic, am I right?
I thought we all deserved a break from the propaganda of pandemic shopping (what’s with the obsession with toilet paper? Will t.p. be our future currency? Will people years from now be telling their grandchildren, “I was there for the T.P. Wars of 2020, it was ugly, a real sh*tshow!”. Do people not understand COVID-19 is a respiratory virus, this is not the Crappocalypse…Every time someone says toilet paper I think of “Seinfeld”, “No, I don’t have a square to spare. I can’t spare a square.” Really folks, are you going to be those type of apocalypse people who can’t even spare a square?
Also, thinking of t.p. makes me want to sing, “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division, but that’s for a psychiatrist to figure out…). Pandemic shopping panic is spreading faster than any virus single-strandedly could…I have my pandemic panic shopping priorities straight, I stocked up on chocolate. You know what kills the most people? Misinformation. Ignorance. And in the end, life.
Make no mistake about why these babies are here – they are here to replace us. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Finally watched “Rocketman”. As a writer, I adore Bernie Taupin’s mind (played by the delightful Jamie Bell), as a music freak fan Elton John (Taron Egerton,who also sings the part, bravo!)is a tapestry on the castle wall of music. This film is: over-the-top, brilliant and self-indulgent, so basically, Elton John. People compare this with “Bohemian Rhapsody”, DON’T!!! Like comparing the Hope diamond with a million tiny diamonds on a huge pair of glasses, completely different, both dazzling.
Don’t you know I’m still standing, most of the time. Looking like a tightrope walker past their prime. I’m still standing after all this time. Picking up the pieces of my life, kinda like a mime (ummm, on a windy street) I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah Seriously, disequilibrium is discombobulating and even spelling them makes me dizzy!!!
What have you all been doing to keep COVID-19 from spreading and to stave off that beast, boredom? Have you been supporting one another, reaching out to offer help, or a kind word? Email isn’t cancelled. Texting isn’t cancelled. Calls aren’t cancelled. Kindness isn’t cancelled. Smiles aren’t cancelled. Goodwill isn’t cancelled. Some people are complaining they can’t get out, false, walking, cycling, jogging, running, hiking, all safe distancing activity that keeps you moving isn’t cancelled, just stay, stay hydrated and practice safe distancing.
It’s St. Patrick’s Day – wear green, eat green food, drink green beer, smile, get lucky, laugh, share some laughter. Support each other. Stop looking at the negative side and think about all the “me” time you’ve been missing, maybe without even realizing it. Some people are complaining there are too many precautions, maybe, but if nothing comes of this, guess what, that’s the outcome we want, nothing to happen.
Here’s things that have been keeping me amused while Earth is cancelled.
“The Alice Network” (not to be confused with “The Alice Project” or “Alice Cooper” or “Alice in Wonderland” or “Alice in Zombieland”…what was I talking about?) “TAN” by Kate Quinn, suggested by a friend, “thanks” cause I couldn’t put this book down!!! Seriously, my eyes got tired, so I logged onto the library, got the e-audio of it and let my ears do some of the heavy lifting. Ever read a book where the movie starts playing in your brain? Stark. Poetic. Mesmerizing. Unflinching. So many books sit on shelves, unworthy, taking up space, this book deserves a whole section to itself.
Words cannot describe how happy “Avenue 5” made me…Hugh Laurie (reminds me of his “Blackadder-A-Bit-of-Fry-Laurie-with-a-smidge-of-Jeeves & Wooster-glory-days), Zach Woods, Josh Gad, Ethan Phillips and so many more. A delightful disaster you can’t stop watching…more please?“Star Trek: Picard” is a gift to loyal Trekkies/Trekkers. Patrick Stewart reprises his role as the iconic Jean-Luc Picard(please commence arguments about who’s the best Starfleet Captain now) and with a whole host of new and oldie (but still-in-our-hearts) spacies: Brent Spiner, Jeri Ryan, Jonathan Frakes, Marina Sirtis, Santiago Cabrera, Harry Treadaway, Alison Pill, Isa Briones, etc. Not already a “Star Trek” fanatic fan, probably not for you; for those who’ve spent a majority of their lives thrilling at: “Make it so”, “Set Phasers to stun”, “Engage”, “I’m a doctor, not a…”, “Resistance is futile”, “Highly illogical”, etc.…you get it, that electric energy zinging through you. And the cherry on top? Picard has a dog named Number One…wonder-filled.
“The Outsider” – I got chills, they’re multiplying!!! Watch the series, read the book by Stephen King and when your inner voice says “Don’t watch another episode before bed!”, listen to it, same goes for what your I.V. tells you about donuts (mostly, sometimes your I.V. is just bossy and should mind it’s own business!).Oh no, I have a scratch on my hand, yikes.
“Hunters” – weirdly reminds me of “The Watchmen” (the mind-blowing movie not the HBO series), but, like, hunting Nazis in the 70s…Al Pacino is still a master of micro-expressions. This is a reminder to trust government…seriously? Obviously kidding.
“Sex Education” on Netflix, there are no words, just watch (and learn?).
“Freaks” (isn’t this just sorta “Firestarter” again?).
“The Stranger”, “The Five”, Safe” all adapted from Harlan Coben books– What? What? What? Oh, the UK sure knows how to do a mystery up right.
Watched “The Hate U Give” and “Where Hands Touch”, apparently Amandla Stenberg likes to make me keep-the-tissue-box-handy because, ok, I’m welling up now thinking about both films, so amazing.
Too many books to list (just when I think I’m getting caught up on my to-read book list, I’m…squirrel! Yes, that easily distracted), for now, yet “F*ck No! how to stop saying yes when you can’t, you shouldn’t, or you justdon’t want to” by Sarah Knight (author of one of my favs, “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck”) stands out. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressivesimplification/
So before we panic, er, even more (Don’t Panic! Be Cautious! Be Kind!)…
Frankly, I’m feeling a bit panicked about how upset people are about having to wash their hands! And asking how to wash their hands properly! Being put out at having to wash their hands more! Ummm, supergross…) and all the stockpiling hoarding toilet paper, masks, hand sanitizer, medications, water, etc.
Not to downplay the loss, it’s terrible, but to put this into perspective, approx. 500 people die each day to firearms worldwide. Not to mention: cancer, heart disease, poison, fire, flu, diabetes, suicide, murder, driving while: texting, drunk, high, tired, smoking, sleeping, watching TV, checking their phone, hair, make-up, eating, and wow, seriously people, just drive the car, sober, rested, it’s not a toy.
I could go on. People die of preventable illnesses and “accidents” (is anything really an accident?). People are still starving, really, that’s still a thing in 2020? So before we continue to panic (which involves a lot of toilet paper I guess?),
I know this is bad and gonna get a whole lot worse, but let’s look back at all the things that went bump-in-the-night, the “scare-du-jour” that made us run out then and buy, buy, buy (currently residing in the “Where Are They Now?” files):
Ebola (since I was a teen I’ve been saying Ebola and other viruses are just a plane ride away, then again, I also wore a Hawaiian shirt every Thursday cause Magnum P.I. was on…so that happened).
Zika. Iran. West Nile Virus. Ozone Hole. Y2K. SARS. Caravans. H1N1. Acid Rain. Mad Cow (I simply can’t get a disease like Creutzfeldt-Jakob, I can’t even spell/say it correctly). AI. Jellyfish. MERS. Sharks (landsharks?).
Global Thermonuclear War (seriously, watch “War Games” again, you’ll thank me).
Weapons of Mass Destruction (now plagued by Weapons of Mass Distraction). Terrorism. UFOs. Comets. Asteroids (also a cool video game).
Remember the world ending in 2012? Mayans must be having a right good laugh at us. Evil clowns, sorry, that was redundant…I meant, clowns.
Chemicals in the water that turn the freakin’ frogs gay!
Swine flu (that’s some pig!). Eggs. Chickens and other birds (which came first?).
And my all-timefav,Killer Beesfrom South America.
Where are they? Did they take a decades-long siesta? Are they still coming? I need answers!
North Korea. ISIS.
Fear is used to manipulate the population, to keep them docile and easily lead. Then again, how have we survived this long? Seriously… “What, me worry?”Worry is a weird thing to do cause stress/worry hurt your immune system which leaves you open to viruses…see where this is going?
Risk is part of life (and a magnificent game).
Maybe we need relax, take a deep breath, calm down and have some tea and some chicken soup (gluten-free, GMO-free, organic with no chicken for our frightened souls). I have just the thing. A delightful friend and tireless blogger, Cher P. Garman https://thechicagofiles.com/ has contributed to “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive, Live Happy (101 Stories About Creating Your Best Life)” by Amy Newmark and Deborah Norville (CSS) and good news, none contain tales of rushing to Costco, pushing people out of the way to stockpile toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Cher’s inspirational story is #60. This ex-pat was a fish out of Canadian waters when her family moved to Chicago, but did Cher wallow? No, in the belly of the windy whale the blind taught her to see. Cher helped herself by helping others. You can’t feel alone or sad or frustrated when you give the gift of yourself to those in need.
“Chicken Soup” books are oft mocked as ‘corny’ or ‘cheesy’ (both corn and cheese taste good in soup, by the way), but they’re meant to remind us to see past the doom-and-gloom headlines and “if-it-bleeds-it-leads” stuff because it sells, sells, sells!!!
That the “Breaking News” crap and social media frenzies aren’t meant to motivate you, or to make you content or grateful or happy, they’re meant to disrupt, disturb, depress so you’ll be desperate and despairing.
I’m not dismissing the loss, the horror, the fear…germs are super scary, they’re a killer we can’t see, but really, so are a lot of things, Mother Nature is always trying to kill us and we’re doing the same to her. How about a truce?
Anxiety is my brain telling me to be careful, except fear isn’t using it’s inside voice. Panic, anxiety, worry, grieving, frustration, depression, etc. during these situations is normal, but if we amplify, then fear wins.
I feel sad for so many people in this crisis, including those told to stay home when they have no home. I’m going to rely heavily on science, I know, not popular in some circles, but it’s one of the few things in life that’s always tried to be honest with me.
My thinking is: stay home more, “social distancing” (hmmm, people with Autism were born for this), help “flatten the curve”, stay calm and we can do this…
Also, keep your risk perception under control, toilet paper will not keep you safe from COVID-19:
1) Wash your hands w/ soap often for 20-30 seconds. Use hand sanitizer when you can’t wash your hands. Stop touching your face so much! Seriously! Stop! Humans touch their face anywhere from 15-50 times/hour (what?!?). And clean your phones, they may very well herald the zombie apocalypse.
2) Human contact is important, but again, be cautious (a good general rule). Animal/human is also important, but this is zoonotic, again be cautious and be kind. Stop blaming bats, if we weren’t stomping all over their ecozones, their homes they’d just continue to hand around and be batty.
3) This is a good time to educate people on the risks (“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” Mark Twain would tell you 100x and more goes for the internet) and how to combat them. Don’t Panic! Be Cautious! Be Kind!
I’m going with what the doctors/scientists/experts say, wash your hands. #WashYourHands #SafeHands
The world is a ball of wonder, don’t let the latest storm be your whole life’s weather forecast. Don’t just learn to dance in the rain, learn to dance like you’re in the rain, in a “Wham!” video!
“There is no point in using the word ‘impossible’ to describe something that has clearly happened.” === Douglas Adams
It happened and I let it happen. Not once, twice, or thrice, but over and over again. As impossible as it seemed, I let my life, wait, “let” seems too passive, I actively participated in the over-complication of my life.
Oh, I told myself I was simplifying. I did all the “right” things. I organized, sorted, classified, tidied, de-cluttered…tried to keep only things that sparked joy.
Yet my life felt like I was just moving round those deck chairs on the “Titanic” (there was room on the board for Jack, Rose, remember, never let go?).
Then complications, on tiny clawed feet creep, whether or not I leave them a treat…
1. First stage of grief – denial. In denial my life was that complicated. Ihad balls in the air, juggling like a clown; I like helping people laugh (I’m a bit of a Joker), but clowns wear too much make-up, for mypersonal taste.
“Simplification” always means removing stuff, right? Usually, but not always, sometimes it means: adding, switching, modifying, adapting, accommodating, changing, rethinking, reclassifying, redistributing…a whole lot of re-ing.
2. Next, I hit a wall of pain and guilt.
Yup, those flying “Whys” hit like me like a sock full of pennies. “Why was I so sick?” “Why couldn’t I get better?” “Why me?” “Why?”
3. Anger (Envy?) and Bargaining. “So many people don’t appreciate: their health, their life, the good people and things; why do they have so much of things they don’t appreciate?”
“Whoever may be out, let’s strike a bargain, what do you want to make this better?”
4. Depression/Reflection/Loneliness. “I’m worthless.” “I’m a drain.” “I’m a burden.” Breaks into a chorus of “All by Myself” while fighting her own hand reaching for the cookies.
5. The upward turn. “I can do this.” “I can find even more resources.” “I can find more people who understand.”
“I can help myself.” “I can push even harder.” “I’m pretty amazing.”
6. Reconstruction and working through.When I said it wasn’t all about de-cluttering, it was a big part because…sigh,
I’m a fantastic bargain snifferhunterstalkerpredator shopper.
Brand names for dirt cheap, price/ad matching, coupons/freebies, sales…long story short, had (insert understatement here) more stuff than I realized. More than half of the more is gone now.
Bumped up my phone plan cause counting seconds wasn’t saving my brain and I was missing stuff and things.
Got more medical resources.
Watched stuff that made me smile and think and not think and lot of giggling: “Knives Out”,“Chilling Adventures of Sabrina”, “Fleabag”, “The Walking Dead”, “The Good Place”, “Virgin River”, “Lost”, “Grace and Frankie” (want to know if a veteran actor/actress is alive, watch this), “The Orville”, “Jack Ryan”, “SNL”, “Joker”, “Lost In Space”, “Spiderman: Far From Home”, “Marriage Story”, “Glitch”, “The Expanse”, and thank you kindly to Netflix for Season 2 of “You”…You know I like to watch.
Unplugged from social media more; it’s a learning curve of an addiction.
7. Acceptance and hope. Now more organized, but with the understanding things pop up to: disrupt, disturb and displace the calm and toss things into the chaos realm.
Hopefully the extra measures I have taken with my “aggressive simplification” will be enough to keep the monsters of chaos at bay.
There’s no linear path to anywhere or anything, it’s all wibbly wobbly, up and down, round and round.
Most living things grieve, in different ways. We grieve those we’ve loved and lost, friendships, connections, community, hope, opportunities, time, health, jobs, dreams…
I predict complications and chaos will continue, but instead of thinking (or overthinking it, thank goodness I never ever ever ever, did I mention ever, do that!) of it all as a catastrophe, think of it as a chance to learn.
And the classic, “But you don’t look sick”. Feel free to add more. I think I’ve heard them all…but you never know.
99 Problems and Fibromyalgia (Fibromialgia) is all of them…or at least it makes any problem much much much much worse.
I won’t bore you with all the symptoms:
Extreme, endless fatigue (I’ve never heard, “everyone gets tired”…sigh).
Extreme, endless all-over-body-pain 24/7/365 (“everyone has pain, especially as they get older” – how do you presume to know my pain or anyone else’s pain but yours?).
IBS (Oh joy, love nothing more than talking about my bowels to doctors/family/friends/strangers/readers…”What did you want to be when you grow up?” “Constipated.”).
Depression (tough not to be depressed by all this).
Sleep issues (screw off Alpha waves, no one wants you here).
Mood disorders (maybe my many, many moods are just as ordered as they should be).
Restless leg syndrome.
Anxiety (pick a kind, any kind).
Tender points (misnomer, not tender, excruciating, but trigger points make sense).
Fibrofog (what was I saying?).
Memory and learning problems, like, aah, like, well, there’s Fibrofog (what was I saying?).
Scattered thoughts (dust in the wind, all my thoughts are dust in the wind).
Tingling (not the good kind).
Shakiness (not the good kind).
TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome).
Painful and frequent urination.
You may notice a pattern here, #Pain!
Sharp pain, stabbing pain, dull aching pain, burning pain, throbbing pain (Beavis and Butthead laugh for 5 minutes now about “throbbing”).
Extreme sensitivity to: light, noise, sounds, smells, temperatures, humidity, dryness, changes in the weather (especially extreme heat or cold, fun in Canada, eh).
Also, to tastes, textures (Princess and the Pea was written about someone with Fibromyalia, for sure).
Stiffness (not the fun kind).;
Especially morning stiffness (not the fun kind).
Let’s not forget Allodynia.
Itching (like, bugs-under-your-skin-when-jonesing-kind-of-itching, er, for chocolate, my drug of choice).
Waking up feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck or attacked by a Terminator or zombie (brains?) – We are The Walking Dead.
And don’t even get me started on surviving the Holidaze, er, holidays – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Black Friday (it’s counted as a holiday now, right?), actually I can do CyberMonday, and they’re lined up to take me out for Valentine’s Day…
I could go on and on (really), but you get the point.
What can anyone do to try to help chronic suckage?
Pills/medications (anti this, anti that, pro this, pro that, SSRIs, SNRIs, NSAIDs, PB&J – checking if you were still paying attention, lotions, notions, rubs, gels – not the fun kind – vitamins, supplements, opioids, snake oil, gargoyle oil, and on and on).
Deep breathing (keep breathing).
Tai Chi (saved my life).
Change of diet (I do FODMAP, look it up, you’ll hate it).
Massage (no happy endings).
CBT, CBD, CBC, CBA, COD…
It’s all just fleeting moments of feeling almost human.
And if all wasn’t bad enough, many people assume this invisible disability is and let’s see if I have this right, a conspiracy wherein the medical profession has effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people (wasn’t that nice of them?). Perfectly reasonable, it’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. What exactly would their motivation be? Why make up an illness, aren’t there already enough? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.
There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues. So they don’t suffer, don’t feel – it’s all some magical conspiracy…
People like to mock. I get that. It’s become a past-time, even a job for some people, especially in the internet age. I also get those same people would want/expect doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.
To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that booming business.
I didn’t ask to be ill. Given the choice I’d be “normal”. I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect? Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.
So how do I cope with ongoing agonizing pain, debilitating fatigue and all the other heaping piles of steaming sh*t that comes with Fibromyalgia aka chronic suckage? If you’re a reader of my blog you know, I think laughter is the best medicine. Laughing even if it hurts sometimes still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place like Psych or George Carlin, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office and more. Tons of laughter a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, but it gives me some quality of life.
For example, this was one of my Tweets last week, “When I see a thong in a store all I think is, how would I explain to #EMTs all my multiple injuries were caused by just trying on a thong. Huh. #ThatsHot #thongs“. @yadadarcyyada
I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Treatments, medications, family, friends and finding a community that gets you, that understands when you have to cancel plans (again)…
Or you can’t remember, ummm, can’t remember, er, huh…and the only good thing you can say about your day is you’re “above ground”, well, anyway.
Glad there are people around who understand, including but not limited to: the-words-are-not-enough-to-describe-how-wonderful-they-are-Fibromyalgia London Group (FLG) #FibromyalgiaLondonGroup #FLG, also for those with CFS, ME, chronic pain, etc. I’ve even tried to knit (What?!? Please note the word, “tried”).
Reunited with a fantastic friend from college (we’d lost touch when the dinosaurs died), and get this, we started going to the same Fibro group on the same day, from different cities. I don’t know what they call that, fate, destiny, providence, kismet, but I call it cool and lucky.
Finding ways to help myself by helping others.
I am so sure you can see my chocolate-covered fingerprints all over their blog, fibrolondongroup.ca And hey, we’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram@fmlondongroup
The thing is, people are just people – no matter how rich or poor; sick (this is an equal opportunity destroyer) or well; all sizes, shapes and shades; known or unknown – you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t give people a chance. Some will let you down, disappoint, hurt your brain, your heart, your body, but they’re oddly beneficial, they help us appreciate the good ones even more.
Get out there, in person, online, by phone, text, email, do stuff, I don’t know, play cards, smile, knit, donate (give what you can, including your time and talents), bowl, cuddle, talk, sign, sing, walk, dance,embrace your crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/,
swim, skate, scuba (gate?), especially smile at children, jog, blog, snog (probably not at the same time unless you’re uber talented), ignore, don’t keep score it’s a bore, read, write, compose, doodle, paint, play, bike, hike, “Like”,bake (me a cake? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/),
listen, learn, love, add to the world, be part of the solution, go out with friends, care, share, spend time with family, get to know people, smile some more (and more and more and more)!!!
Consider others, let your mind soar. I can’t say you won’t ever be sorry, some folks are baffling, but on a whole, you’ll be better for it (and they will be too).
Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me (although compassion and empathy are always welcome), just a reminder that everyone has problems, 99 or less, 99 or more, just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there…so don’t be one of those problems.
Your day starts off well. It’s Halloween (Happy Halloween!).
Everyone is excited, talking about costumes, candy, going to parties…
But suddenly, you find yourself alone, maybe in the woods, or a cemetery, or another dimension, a hell-spawn universe, basement, attic, abandoned summer camp, alley, decaying amusement park, no matter the location, it’s dark and foggy, silent, scary.
Your plans for picking up pizza before going out to a Halloween party now seem a dream while you’re in a nightmare.
Here are some ways to survive and even thrive what comes next:
1.Do not, I repeat, do not go to “check things out”, you’re better off not knowing.
2.Don’t call out things like, “Is anyone there?” or “Who’s there?”. You won’t like the answers.
3. Find a good hiding place. Don’t make a lot of noise – don’t sob loudly or leave your cellphone on (it’s the one time someone will actually call) and for goodness sake, don’t leave two seconds after the scary goes by. Rest, take stock, and come up with a plan, but not an overly-elaborateScooby-Doo plan. Shhh!
4.Don’t depend on someone coming to rescue you, we’ve seen horror movies, there’s a good chance that nice neighbour, helpful police officer, boyfriend, girlfriend, sibling, parent, whoever, is going to get killed trying to help you.
5.Don’t try to be brave or set traps when confronted by a demon, witch, warlock, ghoul, monster, ghost, alien, vampire, zombie, etc. They’re supernatural, trust, they have the advantage…Run away.
6.Don’t go all hero and decide you’re going to go and fight the serial killer. He/she is a success story, hence the word, serial in their job title. It usually ends in death, dismemberment, maiming, and/or all of the above.
7.Don’t let your possessed GPS lead you to places with names like: Satan’s Kingdom, Transylvania, Bloody Springs, Silent Hill, Helltown, Amityville, Monster, or Bad Axe(really, it’s scary, trust me, I know) and apparently all small towns in New England have an overabundance of spooky and bad things happening in them, go figure.Don’t check into a hotel or motel, even if you’re really tired, don’t have to stay in:The Overlook (all work and no play makes Donna a dull ghoul, all work and no play makes Donna a dull ghoul…), the Bates Motel (you’re clean enough, don’t take a shower), Pinewood Motel, or Motel Hell (the name may be a clue).Stay off streets with names like:Elm Street, Hanging Hill Lane, or Lucifer Dr.Summer camp atCrystal Lake…just no.
8.If you see a book of spells, a book of the dead, or any literature (even electronic) covered in weird symbols, human flesh, or it’s seeping blood, growling, showing you a gaping abyss to the fiery pits of Hell, I don’t care how bored you are, don’t read it, especially out loud.
9.If you’re joined by others in this nightmare, stick to them like glue, don’t say things like: “We should separate“ or “You go and check upstairs and I’ll check the basement”. This is not the time to be independent.
10.A life that has suddenly become a horror film is not the time for: heart-to-heart chats, true confessions, make-out sessions, sex, ‘working things out’, taking a bath, shower, sleeping, arguing, ‘clearing the air’, drugs, and/or drinking – wait until the bad things are gone.
11.If loved ones or companions start growling, vomiting pea soup, hissing, head-spinning, have glowing eyes, misshapen features, sudden hairiness, get all pretzelly with their bodies, start climbing on the ceiling or floors, have a sudden fascination with blood – this isn’t the time to practice tolerance and acceptance – run!
12.Receive a fancy invite to a spooky mansion for a party, inheritance, game, challenge? Don’t go, really, even if it seems cool, or lucrative, skip it (you’ll thank me later and by that I mean you’ll be alive to thank me later).
13.So you think you’ve triumphed and killed your zombie, monster, serial killer, etc., that’s awesome, pat yourself on the back, just don’t go closer to check if it’s really dead (it isn’t).
14.I know they’ve told us puzzles are good for our brain, will stop Alzheimer’s, dementia, etc. but that won’t be your worst problem if one of those puzzles opens a portal toHell, or looses demons upon the world, bringing about theEnd of Days, etc.Stick to crosswords, Sudoku, Find-A-Word.
15.It’s nice to be good at something but even if you’re really good, like genius-level good, don’t play with recombinant DNA, especially if you’re really good at it.
16.Deserted town? Leave. Leave quickly. But first, listen to the old crazy who tells you there’s a curse, or alien invasion, or possession – he’s the last one alive, he knows stuff.
17.Don’t borrow or steal from the dead. Don’t wake the dead. Don’t try to talk to the dead even if you think they might have helpful information. Don’t even think about the dead. Just concentrate on living.
18.If your children, pets, parents, co-workers, friends, etc. start speaking to you in Latin, or ancient Babylonian, or some alien language or they try to get you to kick a football, it’s time to run and get help (psst, they’re going to move the football).
19.Don’t fall asleep (I got this one covered).
20.Don’t go to the authorities, they’re probably already altered in some way, or they won’t believe you, or you’ll get them killed, maybe all three.
21.If something or someone is after you, run, cycle, or take a bus. Not only are they more environmentally-friendly, but your car, normally reliable, is now in horror movie or nightmare scenario, this time it won’t start, or it will take you a really long time to start. That taxi you call? The driver will be possessed or have an alien attached to his face.Uber, sure, but your driver will be a ghost or a deranged lunatic (hard to tell if that’s a horror thing or just, well, you know), or something really, really bad.
22.On an alien planet, Hellplain (Hellplane?), or Earth, stay away from: giant eggs, pods, glowing things, ooze, goo of any kind, furniture that moves on its own, scary clowns (with or without red balloons), TVs that lead to other worlds,hockey masks, machetes, chain saws, cabins, creatures, etc. Don’t wander around on your own or go looking for someone.
23.Don’t assume you’re the “Final Girl”, or some other horror movie troupe. Assume you’re the one that gets killed in the first 5 minutes and try to change that.
24.Let’s say you’ve read too many erotic paranormal novels (How many is too many? Asking for a friend.), watched too much “Twilight” or “Buffy”or whatever and you think you’re gonna hook up with some sexy vampire, demon, werewolf…Even if your milkshake brings all the ghouls to the yard, then what, you gonna strike a pose, hand on hip, duck lips out and take a selfie while doing your best Mae West impression, “Is that a knife in my back or are you just happy to see me?”.A supernatural romantic rendezvous is only sexy in movies/TV shows/books because you can’t smell the sulfur, dried blood, and pure evil.Take a ‘Calamity Cosmo’ quiz – seductive supernaturals are strictly wham-bam-now-you’re-damned-ma’am.Remember, dating a serial killer is a relationship killer.
25.You suddenly appear in your home, you think you’re safe, but then you remember, I found out about this place from a flaming note and I only paid with my signature in myblood.
Yup, your house is probably built on an old cemetery, ancient burial ground, where they use to perform rituals or sacrifices, or some other bad stuff, you’re still not safe, cut your losses, or get a really good supernaturalreal estate agent.And you may or may have sold your soul. Only time will tell. But it’s a great neighbourhood, close to a school, a ghoul, and a swimming pool (full of skeletons).
Most important?Good shoes.No heels, slippery soles, or untied laces. You’ll still fall (tripping over nothing) as you’re being chased, but your odds are better if you have good shoes.
Good luck…and I hope this never happens to you, but if it does, now you know what to do and what not to do!
I wanted to be with you alone (on the internet?). And talk about the weather (What is the deal with the weather? Pick a season, stay with it til the next one). But traditions can’t be traced (or can they, again, the internet). We get tricked when we only stick with our base.Nothing keeps our attention… We’re lost in admiration, could we need it this much?Oh, is it wasting time? Just, just, just wasting time. Something happens and we’re head over heels. We never find out till we’re head over heels…
We ‘humans’ fall head over heels quickly, with: people, pets, passions, movies, books, songs (I’m still on a Tears For Fears kick although The Cars too, goodbye Ric Ocasek, you were just what we needed), politicians, celebrities, television shows, smartphones and other electronic gadgets and gizmos, cars, causes, friends, fads, flights of fancy…
And when we fall out of love, look out, love can quickly turn to hate (and shouldn’t continue to date, not great).
I do it…I fell in love with blogging (I didn’t fall for it, it tripped me). My bloglove hasn’t turned to hate, but indifference creeps in, then slinks out, but I know it will back and in greater numbers.
I still love my readers, other bloggers, but sometimes I wish I knew how to quit you (or me, or WordPress, or the internet).
I’ve fallen hard for another Australian series (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ or is that just gravity talking?), this time, “The Heart Guy” aka “Doctor Doctor”. A brilliant bad boy cardiac surgeon gets sent home, as a punishment, to practice medicine in his hometown, Whyhope. Naturally, things get complicated fast. Rodger Corser (In “Glitch” as well, S3 is about to crawl out of the ground soon) may play the lead, Dr. Hugh Knight but his cast-mates are bright shining lights cutting into any and all plans. Why hope? Why not? Another season has been approved and I’m cheering. Yahoo! For Canadians this dramedy reminds me a bit of “Corner Gas” with more actual drama and for the U.S., like “Seinfeld” but with less New York snark and more Down Under snark.
I’ve got one of cupids arrows stuck deep in my heart (could explain chest pains, besides the Tietze Syndrome) for writing and reading then writing some more. Will I ever be an author, a real live published author, as many of my talented fellow bloggers are, as so many writers are, who knows, but it’s fun slow blogging and writing the world’s best novels…in my head.
Captivated with “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Thank you to the parents of Margaret Atwood and Elisabeth Moss for giving us such gifts. It’s funny to think I first read this book almost 35 years ago, when I naively thought it was fiction and thank goodness this could never happen. Note to self, never say never. If you haven’t started reading one of Canada’s most precious natural resources, Margaret Atwood, I suggest you love yourself enough to begin your journey. I’ll continue with her latest, “The Testaments”, filled with hints of things to come. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/
sunsets, puppies, pizza (note the coma, grammar saves lives, in this case, adorable puppy lives), Downton Abbey, The Addams Family, ancestry, kindness, songs https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ , friends, a new love (who doesn’t have to but if he looked like Negan, Starlord or Daryl Dixon that would be cool, just as completely random examples), muffins, laughter, strawberries, donuts, chocolate, chocolate donuts, kindness, cupcakes, family, and oh yeah, to write another chapter in my own story.Why suffer from FOMO, you’ll never miss out if you embrace the glorious chaos of life (every day above ground is another chance) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/
Beguiled by apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian anything (“anything” may be hyperbole, but that’s how things work now, right, facts begone, trouble us no more with your truthiness!),
I’m caught up on “The 100” (“May we meet again”); I miss “Colony”, “Helix”, “Falling Skies”, “Z Nation”, “Extant”, “Ascension”, “Revolution”, “V”, “iZombie”…but mostly I miss when watching/reading about this stuff was wildly fictional. But I guess, like horror, it’s a safe way to examine our fears without admitting they’re coming true. This is how we live now.
Enraptured by the final season of “Game of Thrones” (finally caught up with a free preview month). As a fan, little disappointed, as a writer, loved it, so I’m going with the latter.
My heels are over my head with anticipation, sure, things/people seem divided (remember, fear shrinks the brain), we have an economy based on endless consumerism, making ourselves miserable, envious, dissatisfied, ok, things can seem a tad hopeless right now…
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