Posted in Family, Internet, Uncategorized, Weight

Thinking Out Loud

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I was never particularly a girlie-girl, despite my mother’s valiant attempts.
You know the drill, cute, bright dresses and outfits (my Mom sewed), sometimes sleeping with curlers or rags in my long chestnut hair, and of course, hair decorations and thingamabobs (bows, ribbons, and remember that yarn in our pigtails?).
It didn’t take.
I wasn’t exactly a tomboy either.
Just a girl, who grew, slowly, into a woman.
My favourite colour now is black (yes, I’m aware it’s not actually a colour; black objects absorb all the colours of the visible spectrum and reflect none of them to the eyes, but humour me). My hair is a sexy (sure, ok) bob, though enduring the awkward process of growing out decades of hair dye. Not a ribbon or bow in sight.

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My friends were an intriguing mixture of girlie and not-so-girlie, but we all had one thing in common, we were obsessed with one thing: numbers. Bra size. When we got our first period. How long each period was. How many days between periods. Weight. Height. Phone numbers. How many boys you’d kissed, or wanted to kiss, or who wanted to kiss you.
Oh yes, and occasionally grades in school slipped into that all important number cluster. It was all a numbers game.

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From this angle, at this age, those numbers now seem adorable.
Reaching numbers in the 40s or 50s? You might as well have said I’d be driving a flying car, or getting my supper from a food replicator.
Those numbers were Sci-Fi.
Now they’re Non-Fiction.

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For decades I’ve ridden the roller-coaster of confidence.
High up, I throw my hands in the air, tasting the ripe plum of thrills; believing I’d made the right choice…knowing I could do anything I put my mind to.

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Big bro was stylin’ too.

Then racing down, down, down to  uncertain, overwhelmed, unsure.
My brain screaming, even if it never reaches my lips.
The sense that I could achieve being mercilessly pummeled by doubt.
Fear whipping cruelly at my hair.
Procrastination punching relentlessly at my gut.
The bar that should be protecting me from falling instead holds me in.
I chase challenges, but crash, tumble, fail to engage. The risks are too big. Too scary.
What if I disappoint?
What if I impress and can’t do it again?

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Does everyone ride this roller-coaster, or do they ride the Ferris wheel, a perfect circle of confidence, around and around? Maybe they’re just better at faking it.

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Groovy Christmas morning with Mrs. Beasley!

I don’t want to be the heroine or the victim in my story, just the writer. The writer who has snacks. Tasty snacks. Maybe a comfy chair or couch. And the ability to share her story.

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A writer and her tasty snacks.

The internet has helped spread that story. I love the internet, it connects people in ways never, ever imagined. And if you don’t have anyone to argue with, just express an opinion then…wait. And watch some cat videos.

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A feeling of lassitude, tedium, ennui grips me. The usual stuff isn’t doing it for me. I have battled the demons of depression and anxiety, unashamed; their claws rake at me, their teeth snap at me, bloody, but not broken, I go on.

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This seems like something else, could it be boredom? I hope not. Not my best state. It’s destructive. Causing zoning out, not caring, not engaging, or looking for routes to relieve that boredom, usually with negative consequences.

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Boredom doesn’t have to always be bad. It can cause ignition. Spark. My boredom doesn’t feel like a visit from apathy, or its twin, indifference.

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I’m not feeling particularly restrained or confined, no more than usual.

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I feel thoughts wandering to ways to ease this blanket of boredom. So could this be the searching type of boredom? Looking for something. Open to new possibilities, positive changes? Could anticipation, expectation be masquerading as boredom?

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My Grandma would’ve said I should pull up my bootstraps. But what if those straps are so worn, so frayed…just about to snap? She’d probably tell me to dig deeper and pull harder. I’m trying, Grandma.

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First and last time I looked like a bride.

Each person that crosses your path, friend or foe or otherwise, teaches you something. But what? That you should meet fewer people? Or the person that crossed your path, the person that taught you the most, should have been you. Maybe it was. Is. Should be.

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Posted in Books, Movies, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Weight

This Is Not A Toy

1ablog15Remember that label?
This is not a toy?
As a child I used to think, really, or is it a toy? As an adult I think, really, or is it a toy?
Labels continue to amuse me. Remove plastic from pizza before placing in the oven. Are we just stopping natural selection with all these labels? Then again, with the taste of some frozen pizzas, who’d notice? It’s also amazing how many “Do not eat” labels on things you wouldn’t possible even think of eating.

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One of my all-time favourites is: if you can’t read the label, don’t use this. Huh? So basically, don’t spray deodorant in your eyes, sit on an oven door, don’t use a curling iron internally, don’t drink toner, pepper spray can irritate your eyes, hot beverages are indeed hot, and the list goes on. What’s your top weird label, dear readers?

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1. Then again, observing people, I suppose these labels aren’t as weird as you’d think. Like those people who stand uber close to you in line. Do they think it’ll make the line move faster, or I’ll leave, either way, slow down, I’d appreciate dinner before you get that close.

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2. What is with eating while driving? Really, is life that busy that people can’t stop and have a sandwich? Try the ‘o’ word: organization. And those poor little Stop signs, they’re getting a complex from being ignored…

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3. Who writes these TV shows, books, and/or movies where all characters race around to keep, like, one main character alive? Does this person secretly have the cure for cancer? Other people drop like flies around them. or because of them, or to save them, but as long as they stay alive (more or less), it’s all good.

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4. Money can’t buy happiness, sure, but it can buy food, shelter, security, I’d be way more comfortable crying in a nice house with a pool and not worrying about money all the time. Just sayin’.

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5. No wonder young girls are so confused about body image. Women in music videos wearing clothes that could double as napkins gyrating against, well, anything. Men don’t feel the need to dress or act that way. Imagine the time we’d have for equal rights if we had never been told what shape to be, what to wear…who to be.

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6. If you find politicians horrifying, pretend they’re children (not a big stretch), stop giving them so much attention.

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7. The news keeps taking about how bad the economy is, not news to me, my economy has always been bad.

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8. People who complain that you shouldn’t eat non-traditional foods for breakfast clearly haven’t figured out doughnuts are cake which is just like pancakes and you eat those for breakfast, right?

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9. People who say they don’t do mornings are doing morning as they say it.

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10. There’s nothing better we can do in this world, no greater kindness than making people feel safe, with food, shelter, comfort, love, and compassion, not fear, hunger, prejudice, poverty, and hatred.

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My last post https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/09/take-on-me/ had all that talk of adulting, this week I put adulting on hold, went to a March Break matinée (yes, alone and isn’t it a weird reflection on society that if I were a man, I would be seen as creepy doing so; a few rotten apples do spoil so much, still got some looks I was there without a child). I thoroughly enjoyed The Peanuts Movie for $3; $1 went to Kids Help Phone and I got coupons (free popcorn and movies) – charity, coupons, childhood, and reclining seats – you can’t see me right now, but I’m The Breakfast Club fist-pumping in the air.

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My point? Labels are just labels (lawsuits aside), common sense is the best label. Hope your weekend (and the First Day of Spring/Spring Equinox) is a warm hug.

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Posted in Chocolate, Environment, Food, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized, Weight

If You’re Not In It, You’re Out Of It

1funny226Common sense, kindness, compassion, hope, love, a sense of humour, and caring, combined with the dreaded ‘m’ word, you know, moderation might be the answers to all this confusion. Those things should never change.

Sometimes it astounds me, but we still believe.

It doesn’t matter whether they tell us it’s new and improved, a new formula, a new design, it’s soooo much better…and we believe.

Commercials, polls, experts, ads, doesn’t matter how wrong they are or how much they’re lying…maybe we just want to believe.

Too many ‘studies’ have been commissioned by those who will profit from the findings.

  • Dairy was best for you, no, dairy is evil.

  • Eggs are worse than terrorism.

  • Chocolate makes you fat; dark chocolate is good for you, no it isn’t, yes it is…yes…it…is!!!

  • Cancer is caused by everything, so here, take these seeds, drink this, no, don’t, yes…

  • Olive oil is a god.

  • Gluten once strode the Earth like a mighty colossus. It had it’s own section in the grocery store, was an ingredient in everything we ate, had ads and billboards, was splashed on race cars, yet now, gluten is to be feared and shunned – proclaimed the author of our looming demise.1funny219

  • You’re too fat or too thin; to some, you’re both.

  • Your hair is the wrong shade and give it a minute, yes, the style has changed again – get thee to a hairstylist!

  • Headphones should always be small and discreet, now they should cover a large surface of your head.

  • Cellphones had to be large; then small, now smaller, now smaller, now bigger, bigger, now so huge they barely fit in your hand. And don’t forget, you always need new accessories.1funny238

    You need the latest version, the latest edition, the latest thing or who knows what will happen? Remember, if you’re not in it, you’re out of it. I hate to contradict The Ramones, but…1funny218

  • Experts tell us how to parent, this changes drastically depending on who you’re listening to, in what year. Most importantly, everyone you talk to is right.
    Breast is best except when it isn’t, then formula a corporation says is best, hope it isn’t contaminated, and of course, it can’t be dairy (refer to the above, dairy is now evil).
    Where do babies sleep on these days, their back, side, stomach, sitting up, in a special floating hammock?
    When should they get solid foods, start talking, walking, and don’t forget to turn them all into baby Einsteins.1funny221

  • Dieting advice, ads, etc. is even more complicated than parenting – eat everything, then nothing, eat this, don’t eat that, balance on one foot, drinking water, singing Queen’s We Are The Champions, the pounds will just melt off.

  • I can’t even watch a detergent commercial without thinking, “Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash” ~Jerry Seinfeld. That’s about how seriously I take advertising.

  •  Polls all skew their questions to get the answers they want and let’s be honest, people lie. Why even bother?

    I understand that with time, research, testing, etc. we know more and sometimes even know better, but please we need check our sources. Then again, who can keep up and do we really want to?

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Posted in Blogs, Chocolate, Family, Food, Parenting, Uncategorized, Weight

50 Things to Get Busy Doing Before 50

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/ 1. Reach 49.

2. Forgive. Doesn’t matter if they deserve it, you do.

3. Some people will be negative and hate, so what, what’s that got to do with you?

4. Learn your parents, family, and friends’ stories.

5. Ignore people who tell you to try surfing or skydiving or extreme sports if you don’t want to do it, they’re not going to spend the time in hospital or rehab.

6. Help someone who needs help and don’t tell a single soul you did it.

7. Learn to compromise.

8. Conquer a fear. Doesn’t have to be a big one.

9. Take the time to write that email, make that call, write a letter, visit, send a card, it may not matter, but what if it does?

10. Ask for help. Accept it gratefully.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

11. Smile. Laugh. Often. Quit thinking about why. Smile. Laugh.
12. Cry. Into someone’s shoulder, a pillow, a cat or dog, a tub of ice cream, a gooey chocolate bar, but cry.

13. Walk. Look around. Walk some more.

14. Quit measuring. Your food. Waist. Accomplishments. What others have. Still measure before cutting wood, fabric, and when you bake.

15. Nurture yourself so you can nurture others. The world works best when everyone cares for someone.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

16. Say yes more often.

17. Say no more often.

18. Do something you didn’t think you could do. Maybe you still can’t, but isn’t it glorious that you tried?

19. Read. Doesn’t matter what.

20. Laugh so hard it hurts and you think someone might call in help because there’s something wrong.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

21. Don’t be too serious, it causes wrinkles and it’s no fun.

22. Believe in something, stand behind it, no matter what.

23. Find some magic, whether it’s in a book, a sunset, a blog post, a smile, a party, a kiss, a moment…Find it and keep it.

24. Belt out a song at Karaoke, especially one you don’t know or with inappropriate lyrics.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

25. Watch the stars…sleep under them if possible.

26. Roll down a grassy hill with your friend (make sure there’s nothing in the way first).

27. Change your hair, not to follow a style, or to cover gray hair, or because someone tells you that you should.

28. Let go of hate.

29. Lay and watch clouds for a minimum of one hour. You’re welcome.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

30. Sit alone in a restaurant, don’t hide behind a book or your phone or pretend to be engrossed in your noodles (they’re not that fascinating). Look around, be in the moment.

31. Make an unrealistic wish on a shooting star.

32. Have a huge crush that can never be returned. It’s freeing.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

33. Follow a dream, even if everyone tells you it’s ridiculous, especially if everyone tells you it’s ridiculous.

34. Move forward. You don’t have a time machine.

35. Compassion first. Compassion second. Compassion third. You get the idea.

36. Be so completely wrong you’ll never believe how wrong you were.

37. Be so completely right no one will ever believe how right you were.

38. Visit Niagara Falls, really, any enormous waterfall will do. You will walk away with a million and half questions about the universe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

39. Don’t follow trends or fads, do what you want, your time is limited.

40. Be like your parents.

41. Don’t be like your parents.

42. The answer to life, the universe and everything. Use it wisely and sparingly.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

43. Stop saying, ‘Life isn’t fair’. It never was.

44. Be happy with what you have and what you are – at least it’s real.

45. Have goals. Fulfill some.

46. Stop using the word ‘impossible’. Substitute ‘improbable’ if you must.

47. Spend a whole day just listening.

48. Spend a whole day telling the truth.

49. There’s no scorecard, so be yourself, quit trying to get points.

50. Life is too short to do someone else’s bucket list. Be your best you….at any age.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/19/50-things-to-get-busy-doing-before-50/

Posted in Blogs, Chocolate, Family, Food, Uncategorized, Weight

It’s Not The Years, Honey. It’s The Mileage

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Our bodies might be temples, but mine is starting to look like it needs an archaeological dig.

I’m going to agree with Indiana Jones, “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”

Sigh, it might also be the years.

Maybe it’s just that women need more upkeep…or we’re told we do.

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  • Women spend an inordinate amount of time trying to remove hair from their bodies…and if we can’t remove it, then we need to curl it, cut it, dye it, straighten it, lengthen it, wax it, shave it, shape it, and give names to the shapes.

  • Men generally just want to hold onto every single hair they have, for as long as they can.1indie22

  • Women spend hours they’ll never get back trying to pick out just the right shade, tone, tint, texture that’s going to: smooth, cover, cleanse, conceal, reverse, resist, beautify, bronze, define, alter, prime, primp, plump – for the dry, normal, oily, sensitive, acne-prone, combination; all of which will then be removed.

  • Men leave the house, perhaps after brushing the precious hair they have left and hopefully their teeth.1funny103

  • Women will do everything short of selling their souls (and that might be up for consideration) to keep themselves looking young, including being injected, operated on, rituals, who knows?

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  • Women worry about every bit of food that passes their lips, weigh ourselves obsessively, worry about body fat, calories, diets. They will fast, cleanse, purge and look too often into the abyss (aka the full-length mirror).

  • Men eat.1diet6

Obviously these are generalizations, but why are there such differences between the sexes? Is it our brains? Bodies? Society? History? It should be about acceptance. Men and women aren’t that much different, except women usually get paid less and their products and services cost more.

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We’re all human (well, most of us, there are exceptions), we should accept each other and work together.

In Raiders of the Lost Ark they should have said, we have top people working on it.  Why? Because we may just be passing through history, but it doesn’t mean we have to keep reliving it.

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Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Family, Food, Parenting, Uncategorized, Weight

Old Habits Die Harder

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Don’t you think this would be a perfect title of the next Die Hard movie? Call me Bruce, we’ll talk…

Oh, you know there’s going to more, this isn’t over yet.

I woke up in the night with my leg in a bear trap. The pain was excruciating. It was dark and there was no one around to help me. As I struggled to my feet, feeling at my ankle for blood I realized I’d been dreaming. My mind, trying to process the pain of the fist-sized charley horse in my leg had incorporated it into my dream.
I’d done a prolonged and unusual activity the day before, sadly, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds. I had broken a habit of procrastination and avoidance. OK, maybe I’d at least dented the habit.

The trouble with habits, these sometimes helpful, sometimes hurtful patterns of behaviour – they so can easily become addictive and breaking them is complicated.1habits2

  • Phase 1 Some call it denial. You don’t have a problem, everybody else does. This habit isn’t hurting anyone. Phase 1 can last for years and years.

  • Phase 2 You consider you might have a bad habit and contemplate whether to part ways with the habit. This phase can also last a long time.

  • Phase 3 You start looking at the good, the bad, and addictive. I like the habits, no, I hate the habits. Pros and Cons lists are made. Arguments for and against are hotly debated in your head.

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  • Phase 4 – The most public phase. Until now you fought the habit war in your head. With action, people will know. It’s all out there. You’ll get narrow-eyed looks, comments, praise, questions, and/or criticism. But your resolve is firm.

  • Phase 5 – Staying the course. You’ve done it, kicked that habit to the curb! It’s not going to run your life, you are in charge. This is when you have to maintain. They can take our habits, but they can never take our freedom!

  • Phase 6  – When the ugly stats that 9 out of 10 people relapse back into their habits within a year. And the older the habit, the harder is it to break. You get the bad news, you have Chronic Reversion Syndrome. The tests all show, the habit is back. Your family and friends fear the worst, but you know you’re going to fight it.1habits4

In your rush to recover, you should be  careful, to change a habit, you need to move toward something new and better, not just away from the habit you’re trying to kick. Or try to replace a bad habit with a good habit.

How do you quit bad habits, dear readers?
Have you had success or like me, do you suffer from Chronic Reversion Syndrome?

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Yippee Ki-Yay,
dear readers!

Posted in Blogs, Family, Uncategorized, Weight

Revenge of the Nouns

1age11As I age (totally gracefully, of course), I notice an ever-growing Pros and Cons List accumulating in my brain.

I’ve also notice one side of the list is getting much longer than the other.

The Pros (or what we gain as we get older):
Experience
Wisdom
Friends
Family
Knowledge
Cynicism
Wrinkles
Habits
Humour
Weight
Hormones
Self-confidence
Happiness
More candles on your birthday cake

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The Cons (or what we lose as we get older):
Keys and other stuff  – although I prefer to think of them as ‘in a safe place’, er, somewhere
Hair – it’s ok, it just migrates to your nose, ears and chin
Friends
Family
Hormones
Elasticity
Happiness
Ability to ignore distractions
Cells and stem cells lose their luster
Self-confidence
The battle with gravity
Nouns – this one is mysterious, you find yourself able to describe the noun in great detail – the thing you wear, in the winter, to keep warm, two sleeves, zippers up…yet somehow in all that, the word ‘coat’ eludes you. It works somewhat better in writing.

Some things make both lists.

Is there anything some of my more ‘age-enabled’ readers have noticed they’ve gained or lost?

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To me, age is just a number, one that we should be proud of as it gets higher, hint, hint, it means we’re still living.

Is it sad that society worships youth? Definitely, age has so much to offer, even more if you can enjoy the distinctive and sometimes amusing parts of aging.

The truth is, we’re all happier or sadder at different points in our lives for different reasons. Enjoy each moment, as many as there are.

I’ve got to go, to watch that show, where the guy asks the questions. You know, you have to answer in a question form. It’s been on a long time. I’m sure I’ll do really well, answering the, you know, thingies.

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