Posted in Blogs, Canada, Fibromyalgia

Aggressive Simplification

 

“There is no point
in using the word
‘impossible’
to describe
something
that has
clearly
happened.”
=== Douglas
                    Adams

It happened and I let it happen. Not once, twice, or thrice, but over and over again. As impossible as it seemed, I let my life, wait, “let” seems too passive, I actively  participated in the over-complication of my life.

Oh, I told myself I was simplifying. I did all the “right” things. I organized, sorted, classified, tidied, de-cluttered…tried to keep only things that sparked joy.

Yet my life felt like I was just moving round those deck chairs on the “Titanic” (there was room on the board for Jack, Rose, remember, never let go?).

Then complications, on tiny clawed feet creep, whether or not I leave them a treat…

1. First stage of grief – denial.
 In denial my life was
              that complicated.
     I had balls in the air,
  juggling like a clown;
 I like helping people laugh
   (I’m a bit of a Joker),
 but clowns wear too
much make-up,
      for my personal taste.

“Simplification” always means removing stuff, right?
Usually, but not always, sometimes it means:
adding, switching, modifying, adapting,
accommodating, changing, rethinking,
reclassifying, redistributing…a whole lot of re-ing.

2. Next, I hit a wall of pain and guilt.

Yup, those flying “Whys”  hit like me like a sock full of pennies. “Why was I so sick?” “Why couldn’t I get better?” “Why me?” “Why?”

3. Anger (Envy?) and Bargaining.
“So many people don’t appreciate: their health, their life,
the good people and things;
why do they have so much
of things they don’t appreciate?”

“Whoever may be out, let’s strike a bargain, what do you want to make this better?”

4. Depression/Reflection/Loneliness.
“I’m worthless.”
“I’m a drain.”
“I’m a burden.”
Breaks into a chorus of
“All by Myself”
while fighting
her own hand
reaching for the cookies.

5. The upward turn.
“I can do this.”
“I can find even more resources.”
“I can find more people who understand.”

“I can help myself.” “I can push even harder.” “I’m pretty amazing.”

6. Reconstruction and working through. When I said it wasn’t all about de-cluttering, it was a big part because…sigh,

I’m a fantastic bargain sniffer hunter stalker predator shopper.

Brand names for dirt cheap, price/ad matching, coupons/freebies, sales…long story short, had (insert understatement here) more stuff than I realized. More than half of the more is gone now.

Bumped up my phone plan cause counting seconds wasn’t saving my brain and I was missing stuff and things.

Got more medical resources.

Watched stuff that made me smile and think and not think and lot of giggling: “Knives Out”, “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina”, “Fleabag”, “The Walking Dead”, “The Good Place”, “Virgin River”, “Lost”, “Grace and Frankie” (want to know if a veteran actor/actress is alive, watch this), “The Orville”, “Jack Ryan”, “SNL”, “Joker”, “Lost In Space”, “Spiderman: Far From Home”, “Marriage Story”, “Glitch”, “The Expanse”, and thank you kindly to Netflix for Season 2 of “You”…You know I like to watch.

Unplugged from social media more; it’s a learning curve of an addiction.

Continued with Fibromyalgia London Group – my quality of life continues to bloom. Friends, got un-isolated (de-isolated?), socialized, learned (a very subjective term) to knit, had a lot of laughs (and some tears), helped, got help, found sprigs of hope pushing through the frost. And I’m trying to blog more too (stop overthinking), here https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/11/22/99-problems-and-fibromyalgia-is-all-of-them/ and there https://fibrolondongroup.ca/2019/12/06/chronic-suckage/ (hopefully, if life stops giving me lemons…I want chocolate!!!).

I changed internet providers. New email: darcyyada@gmail.com

Got Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to give up being Royals (sorta) and move to Canada cause we’re nice, eh (and we have Justin Trudeau and #Donutgate). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

7. Acceptance and hope. Now more organized, but with the understanding things pop up to:
disrupt,
disturb
and
displace
the calm
and toss things
into the chaos realm.
 

Hopefully the extra measures I have taken with my “aggressive simplification” will be enough to keep the monsters of chaos at bay.

There’s no linear path to anywhere or anything, it’s all wibbly wobbly, up and down, round and round.

Most living things grieve, in different ways. We grieve those we’ve loved and lost, friendships, connections, community, hope, opportunities, time, health, jobs, dreams…

I predict complications and chaos will continue, but instead of thinking (or overthinking it, thank goodness I never ever ever ever, did I mention ever, do that!) of it all as a catastrophe, think of it as a chance to learn.

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness

99 Problems and #Fibromyalgia Is All Of Them

Lazy. Crazy. Whiner.
Hypochondriac.
Attention-seeking.
All in your head.  
“Fibromyalgia is just another word for lazy.” yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/ 

And the classic, “But you don’t look sick”.
Feel free to add more.
I think I’ve heard them all…but you never know.

99 Problems and Fibromyalgia (Fibromialgia) is all of them…or at least it makes any problem much much much much worse.

I won’t bore you with all the symptoms:

  • Extreme, endless fatigue (I’ve never heard, “everyone gets tired”…sigh).

  • Extreme, endless all-over-body-pain 24/7/365 (“everyone has pain, especially as they get older” – how do you presume to know my pain or anyone else’s pain but yours?).

  • Dry eyes/mouth.

  • Hair loss.

  • IBS (Oh joy, love nothing more than talking about my bowels to doctors/family/friends/strangers/readers…”What did you want to be when you grow up?” “Constipated.”).

  • Dizziness.

  • Clumsiness.

  • Nausea.

  • Depression (tough not to be depressed by all this).

  • Sleep issues (screw off Alpha waves, no one wants you here).

  • Mood disorders (maybe my many, many moods are just as ordered as they should be).

  • Headaches/migraines.

  • Restless leg syndrome.

  • Anxiety (pick a kind, any kind).

  • Tender points (misnomer, not tender, excruciating, but trigger points make sense).

  • Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Memory and learning problems, like, aah, like, well, there’s Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Scattered thoughts (dust in the wind, all my thoughts are dust in the wind).

  • Numbness.

  • Tingling (not the good kind).

  • Shakiness (not the good kind).

  • TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome).

  • Painful and frequent urination.

  • You may notice a pattern here, #Pain!

  • Sharp pain, stabbing pain, dull aching pain, burning pain, throbbing pain (Beavis and Butthead laugh for 5 minutes now about “throbbing”).

  • Extreme sensitivity to: light, noise, sounds, smells, temperatures, humidity, dryness, changes in the weather (especially extreme heat or cold, fun in Canada, eh).

  • Also, to tastes, textures (Princess and the Pea was written about someone with Fibromyalia, for sure).

  • Stiffness (not the fun kind).;

  • Especially morning stiffness (not the fun kind).

  • Let’s not forget Allodynia.

  • Itching (like, bugs-under-your-skin-when-jonesing-kind-of-itching, er, for chocolate, my drug of choice).

  • Waking up feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck or attacked by a Terminator or zombie (brains?) – We are The Walking Dead.

  • And don’t even get me started on surviving the Holidaze, er, holidays – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Black Friday (it’s counted as a holiday now, right?), actually I can do CyberMonday, and they’re lined up to take me out for Valentine’s Day


I could go on and on (really), but you get the point.

It sucks.

Chronic suckage.

What can anyone do to try to help chronic suckage? 
  • Pills/medications (anti this, anti that, pro this, pro that, SSRIs, SNRIs, NSAIDs, PB&J – checking if you were still paying attention, lotions, notions, rubs, gels – not the fun kind – vitamins, supplements, opioids, snake oil, gargoyle oil, and on and on).

  • Exercise.

  • Natural remedies.

  • Injections.

  • Yoga.

  • Meditation.

  • Deep breathing (keep breathing).

  • Tai Chi (saved my life).

  • Change of diet (I do FODMAP, look it up, you’ll hate it).

  • Massage (no happy endings).

  • Physical therapy.

  • Rest/relaxation/Self-Care.

  • CBT, CBD, CBC, CBA, COD…

  • Trials.

  • Errors.

It’s all just fleeting moments of feeling almost human.

And if all wasn’t bad enough, many people assume this invisible disability is and let’s see if I have this right, a conspiracy wherein the medical profession has effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people (wasn’t that nice of them?). Perfectly reasonable, it’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. What exactly would their motivation be? Why make up an illness, aren’t there already enough? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.

There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues. So they don’t suffer, don’t feel – it’s all some magical conspiracy…

People like to mock. I get that. It’s become a past-time, even a job for some people, especially in the internet age. I also get those same people would want/expect doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that booming business.

I didn’t ask to be ill. Given the choice I’d be “normal”. I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect? Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.

So how do I cope with ongoing agonizing pain, debilitating fatigue and all the other heaping piles of steaming sh*t that comes with Fibromyalgia aka chronic suckage? If you’re a reader of my blog you know, I think laughter is the best medicine. Laughing even if it hurts sometimes still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place like Psych or George Carlin, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office and more. Tons of laughter a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, but it gives me some quality of life.

For example, this was one of my Tweets last week, “When I see a thong in a store all I think is, how would I explain to #EMTs all my multiple injuries were caused by just trying on a thong. Huh. #ThatsHot #thongs“. @yadadarcyyada 

I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Treatments, medications, family, friends and finding a community that gets you, that understands when you have to cancel plans (again)…

Or you can’t remember, ummm, can’t remember, er, huh…and the only good thing you can say about your day is you’re “above ground”, well, anyway.

Glad there are people around who understand, including but not limited to: the-words-are-not-enough-to-describe-how-wonderful-they-are-Fibromyalgia London Group (FLG) #FibromyalgiaLondonGroup #FLG, also for those with CFS, ME, chronic pain, etc. I’ve even tried to knit (What?!? Please note the word, “tried”).

Reunited with a fantastic friend from college (we’d lost touch when the dinosaurs died), and get this, we started going to the same Fibro group on the same day, from different cities. I don’t know what they call that, fate, destiny, providence, kismet, but I call it cool and lucky.

Finding ways to help myself by helping others.

I am so sure you can see my chocolate-covered fingerprints all over their blog, fibrolondongroup.ca And hey, we’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram @fmlondongroup

The thing is, people are just people – no matter how rich or poor; sick (this is an equal opportunity destroyer) or well; all sizes, shapes and shades; known or unknown – you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t give people a chance. Some will let you down, disappoint, hurt your brain, your heart, your body, but they’re oddly beneficial, they help us appreciate the good ones even more.

Get out there, in person, online, by phone, text, email, do stuff, I don’t know, play cards, smile, knit, donate (give what you can, including your time and talents), bowl, cuddle, talk, sign, sing, walk, dance, embrace your crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ ,

swim, skate, scuba (gate?), especially smile at children, jog, blog, snog (probably not at the same time unless you’re uber talented), ignore, don’t keep score it’s a bore, read, write, compose, doodle, paint, play, bike, hike, “Like”, bake (me a cake? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/),

listen, learn, love, add to the world, be part of the solution, go out with friends, care, share, spend time with family, get to know people, smile some more (and more and more and more)!!!

Be kind, be thoughtful, be compassionate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/

Consider others, let your mind soar. I can’t say you won’t ever be sorry, some folks are baffling, but on a whole, you’ll be better for it (and they will be too).

Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me (although compassion and empathy are always welcome), just a reminder that everyone has problems, 99 or less, 99 or more, just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there…so don’t be one of those problems.

 

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media

Head Over Heels

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/I wanted to be  with you alone
(on the internet?).
And talk about the weather
(What is the deal with the weather?
Pick a season, stay with it til the next one).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/
But traditions can’t be traced
(or can they, again, the internet).
We get tricked when
we only stick with our base.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/Nothing keeps our attention…
We’re lost in admiration,
could we need it this much?Oh, is it wasting time?
Just, just, just wasting time.
Something happens and
we’re head over heels.
We never find out till
we’re head over heels…

  • We ‘humans’ fall head over heels quickly, with: people, pets, passions, movies, books, songs (I’m still on a Tears For Fears kick although The Cars too, goodbye Ric Ocasek, you were just what we needed), politicians, celebrities, television shows, smartphones and other electronic gadgets and gizmos, cars, causes, friends, fads, flights of fancy…oops1

And when we fall out of love, look out, love can quickly turn to hate (and shouldn’t continue to date, not great).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/                                                                   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/29/next-time-you-bring-the-cookies/                              https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/

and migraines (latest treatment, painful and tiring, but seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the very long, very dark tunnel, oooh, hope it’s not just another train);and writing (trying) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/.

I still love my readers, other bloggers, but sometimes I wish I knew how to quit you (or me, or WordPress, or the internet).

  • I’ve fallen hard for another Australian series (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ or is that just gravity talking?), this time, “The Heart Guy” aka “Doctor Doctor”. A brilliant bad boy cardiac surgeon gets sent home, as a punishment, to practice medicine in his hometown, Whyhope. Naturally, things get complicated fast. Rodger Corser (In “Glitch” as well, S3 is about to crawl out of the ground soon) may play the lead, Dr. Hugh Knight but his cast-mates are bright shining lights cutting into any and all plans. Why hope? Why not? Another season has been approved and I’m cheering. Yahoo! For Canadians this dramedy reminds me a bit of “Corner Gas” with more actual drama and for the U.S., like “Seinfeld” but with less New York snark and more Down Under snark.

  • Bewitched by de-cluttering and minimalizing (is that even a word, seriously, it should be…) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/

  • I’ve got one of cupids arrows stuck deep in my heart (could explain chest pains, besides the Tietze Syndrome) for writing and reading then writing some more. Will I ever be an author, a real live published author, as many of my talented fellow bloggers are, as so many writers are, who knows, but it’s fun slow blogging and writing the world’s best novels…in my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/23/if-i-could-save-time-in-a-blog-bottle/

  • Captivated with “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Thank you to the parents of Margaret Atwood and Elisabeth Moss for giving us such gifts. It’s funny to think I first read this book almost 35 years ago, when I naively thought it was fiction and thank goodness this could never happen. Note to self, never say never. If you haven’t started reading one of Canada’s most precious natural resources, Margaret Atwood, I suggest you love yourself enough to begin your journey. I’ll continue with her latest, “The Testaments”, filled with hints of things to come. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/

  • Infatuated with the idea that all the mysteries of Area 51 could be revealed to the world on September 20, 2019 #theycantstopusall #stormarea51The Truth is Out There or more likely, anything interesting has already been moved to, er, Area 51-A or Area 52? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

love36

kittens, kindness, ice cream, cozy sweaters, Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/the-more-the-scarier/

Thanksgiving
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ ,

smiles (smile cookies), cake, curry, kindness, pumpkin spice, chocolate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/30/you-live-you-die-in-between-theres-chocolate/ ,

sunsets, puppies, pizza (note the coma, grammar saves lives, in this case, adorable puppy lives), Downton Abbey, The Addams Family, ancestry, kindness, songs https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ , friends, a new love (who doesn’t have to but if he looked like Negan, Starlord or Daryl Dixon that would be cool, just as completely random examples), muffins, laughter, strawberries, donuts, chocolate, chocolate donuts, kindness, cupcakes, family, and oh yeah, to write another chapter in my own story.Why suffer from FOMO, you’ll never miss out if you embrace the glorious chaos of life (every day above ground is another chance) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

  • Beguiled by apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian anything (“anything” may be hyperbole, but that’s how things work now, right, facts begone, trouble us no more with your truthiness!),

“The Walking Dead” S10 is soon-ish https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-will-rule/            https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-wont-rule/        https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/21/zombies-on-sesame-street/

I’m caught up on “The 100” (“May we meet again”); I miss “Colony”, “Helix”, “Falling Skies”, “Z Nation”, “Extant”, “Ascension”, “Revolution”, “V”, “iZombie”…but mostly I miss when watching/reading about this stuff was wildly fictional. But I guess, like horror, it’s a safe way to examine our fears without admitting they’re coming true. This is how we live now.

  • Enraptured by the final season of “Game of Thrones” (finally caught up with a free preview month). As a fan, little disappointed, as a writer, loved it, so I’m going with the latter.

                             https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/07/you-know-youre-obsessed-with-game-of-thrones-when/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/03/very-me/

maybe we’ll magically return to the 80s, which we have glamourized to the point of insanity (‘stranger things’ have happened, but keeping remembering neon and big hair) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/As long as you keep falling head over heels with life (just avoid the drama pitfalls https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/ ), your story is bound to be a bestseller https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

  • What are you head over heels about, dear readers, tell me, tell me, cause I need more to love (my heart and mind are like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside).

  • Ways to contact me (on my home planet)

    darcyyada@gmail.com

time14

  • Please send me stuff to review…Despite the Ads Ruining My Posts, I’m Not Getting Paid A Cent by WordPress…I gratefully accept promotional materials, but respectfully reserve the right to decide whether said promotional material is suitable for my blog. 100% honest reviews and the opinions, thoughts, and beliefs will be my own, not that of the provider, party, or manufacturer.

  • Donations to help save the endangered broke and obscure bloggers who once roamed the internet free are appreciated…it’s Paypal, for anyone including, but not limited to eccentric millionaires who want to adopt a blogger.

  • P.S.  WordPress is greedily inserting ads into posts and holding our blogs hostage if we don’t pay the ransom to remove the malware (aka ads), I don’t get a single dime from them…

  • Follow me here, but in a completely non-stalkery way please: https://yadadarcyyada.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/

And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding? 

– Elvis Costello

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media, Uncategorized

People Forget #Kindness Is Free

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Bees’ll buzz and I’ll afford their organic honey cuz…I’ll be doing whatever rich and famous folks do…Sportin’ a healthy bank account, not blown away by emergencies. Da da… Da doo…A bah bah ba baba boo!
Attention and money are both so intense
Put ’em together, it never, ever makes sense!
Rat dadat dadat dadat dadadadadoo
Anonymity’s the best time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in ‘attention’ and I’ll be a happily overexposed attention wh…oh, umm, writer/blogger! So when life gets rough, I persist by frantically grabbing my dreams of not just wallowing in obscurity…Oh the sky will be blue and you guys’ll be there too!!! When I ever do what obscure folks do with attention!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Choose love, hope, peace, kindness (people often forget it’s free), laughter, compassion, family, friends, helping others when you can…naps https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/01/theres-a-nap-for-that/ and cake (not necessarily in that order).

In a world seemingly ruled by attention, how do you keep up (and why)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

 1. Be interesting.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

2. Interesting not enough? Try shocking.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/04/10/shock-and-awww/

3. Shocking still not getting enough clicks, likes, and shares in this attention economy? Try no-no-Notorious (sorry, Duran Duran apparently still holds some mysterious thrall over me).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

4. Are you feeling like you should keep a single thought, event, or moment private? This is your dignity and self-respect rearing its ugly common sense head, don’t self-sabotage! Tell all! Show all! Don’t let fear of failure stop you from succeeding in your attention-seeking goals.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

5. Toss aside burdensome personal and professional relationships – more will come along and if not, you still had your brief, precious moment in the spotlight.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

6. Be committed! This isn’t a diet, gym membership, Netflix browsing (what day is it?), friendship, job, or relationship – this is serious! Getting attention isn’t for the faint of heart. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

7. Stop looking for the meaning of life, you found it: getting attention.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

8. Helping people is nice, but what if you can get attention while doing it? Fire, flood, famine, family, friends, fawning, fatuous, fake fads – all the new attention-grabbing fabulous!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

9. Your life is for sale, stick a sign on you that says ‘Sold’.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

10. Over 4 years ago when I started blogging I wasn’t thinking about the attention, or was I?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

So I’m going to take my own advice, There’s No Crying in Blogging (there is whining thought, right?) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

People think they want attention and/or fame, money, etc., but maybe what they really want is connection.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’m going to stop over-thinking, getting in my own way, getting frustrated (good luck, especially with WordPress around), and enjoy the moment.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’ll try not to think about awful people, instead I’ll think of the awesome people I’ve virtually met (and adore!). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Also, blogging is cheaper than therapy.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Slow blogging (Thanks Fibromyalgia!!! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/) isn’t getting me many clicks and likes, but I’m ok with obscurity and I give thanks for what I have https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

And I can still dream…and can still afford chocolate, for now https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/22/who-moved-my-chocolate/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Movies, Music, Uncategorized

There’s A Nap For That

1hate8As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).

I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.

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1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.

2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.

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3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?

4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.

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5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.

6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.

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7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?

8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.

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9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.

10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.

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Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).

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Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant  fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.

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If I said anything wonky during my blog party  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free  – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.

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Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?

Be brave. Be bold.
Choose love…and naps…and cake
(not necessarily in that order).

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Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Stand By Me

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Can You Feel The Blog Love Tonight?

1blog52Turns out, being an adult is hard work.

Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.

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Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling)
You used to like me on my blog post
Late or early when I needed blog love
And I know when that hotline pinged
It could only mean one thing…
But these days, you’ve become a ghost
Wonder if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post
Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast

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But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…

Learning. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Smiling.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

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I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:

1. I’d have a computer, in my home.

2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.

3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.

4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.

5.  Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…

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6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.

7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.

8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.

9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.

10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.

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11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.

12. My body would be my worst enemy.

13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.

14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.

15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).

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16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).

17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.

18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.

19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.

20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.

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So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.