Category: Fibromyalgia

And other health issues

Posted in Canada, Chocolate, Fibromyalgia, motivational

Seems Breakin’ Up Was Easier in the ’90s

Posted on by D. Parker

It looks like you’re gettin’ over me,

faster than I’m gettin’ over you.

But hey, what you gonna do?

I’m sick of sittin’ in my brain,

sighin’ at my phone. 📱

Wishin’ I was somewhere I can’t be alone.

Try to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of makin’ excuses about how I wanna be.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me.

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Back then, I could’ve convinced myself

it was you and not me,

though I said it the other way round;

love lost and found.

Could have made myself believe,

I loved you, just wasn’t in love with you 💌

(realistically, it’s you and me?).

Just the thought of it makes me blue…

Didn’t know then I couldn’t have

the bandwidth to deal with life

stress keeps cuttin’ at me

with an jagged online knife 🔪

Tryin’ to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of seein’ pictures in my brain, 🧠

I don’t wanna see.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Modern love leads to modern hearts breakin’ 💔

Leads to a whole lot of social media fakin‘.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me…

Seems breakin’ up with myself with easier in the ’90s!

Thanks to Sam Hunt for the inspiration.

I’ve broken up with myself before, at least once or twice a decade, but it seems to get harder every decade. My most memorable break-ups were in the ’90s. It all seemed like a good idea then. 💡 No awkward, “It’s not you, it’s you” conversations. I was young and thought being in love with myself was more important that just loving myself, taking care of myself.

Every time I try to make it work, but we’ve grown apart. The relationship just isn’t working for me…and me. This time I find myself feeling resentment. I resent myself for getting in my way.

Maybe it was age. My stage in my journey. Or maybe it’s those darn rosy nostalgia goggles 🥽 and it just seems breakin’ up with easier in the ‘90s. Either way, I think it’s time to take our relationship to a previous level…

Sometimes you gotta stop reflecting (I’m turning into a mirror here 🪞) and take the BS by the horns; I’m doing a year of chronic change...

Step 1: Move. Done, but not terribly settled, though I’m cutting myself some slack on my (lack of) progress. I;ve been vividly reminded that Fibromyalgia is a thief. It steals your energy. -Pilfers your time. -Loots your stability. -Filches your confidence. -Snatches your pride. -Purloins your social life. -Robs you of your hopes and dreams. -Breaks and enters your life, tossing the place and adding chaos, fear, loss, and uncertainty to every moment of your day and night. Living with chronic conditions means you have to change your expectations, accommodate, modify, and most of all, adapt. I’m trying to be kind to myself.

And remind myself of all the good/great/amazing things I have as well. My family, friends, my blog/readers/fellow bloggers/authors https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/, the ‘group’ I founded(?), “Chronic Not Hopeless” (all our Zoom activities are free, all are welcome, contact: chronicnothopeless@yahoo.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/)…

Also, my happy places (on the page, in a screen, swimming in chocolate 🍫, chatting, laughing, in a cup of tea (or three). 🫖

Where else?

Happy on a gameboard or in the cards, among the trees 🌳, under the stars… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

And of course, the hopes and dreams the chronic suckage https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/12/06/chronic-suckage/ hasn’t yet managed to rudely steal – writing a novel, learning to podcast, code, organizing (sorry, staying organized – oh I can organize, I can organize till the cows come home, it’s keeping the organization, that’s the kicker), getting better and so much more…        

Step 2: Break up with myself. I’ll start slow with the simple but elegant, “I just need some space”. Then add the tried and true, “It’s for the best” and of course, “You and I should stay friends”. 🤝

Follow up with the classic, “We’re both looking for different things” and “I’ve figured out, we’ll cover more ground if we split up”.

If tears flow, I’ll pivot to the gentler, “We’re at different stages in our lives” and pop in, “I really need to work on myself right now”.

If I want to add some levity to the tense break-up situation, I can toss in a cheeky, “Our relationship is like my financial status: broke” 💸; or “I feel like I’m moving into a tunnel cause we’re breaking up” 📵; and/or “They say one person’s trash is another one’s treasure, I hope you find a pirate to love you”. 🏴‍☠️

Still not there yet?

Who can go wrong with a classic Star Wars break-up line? “I think I should change my name to Han cause I need to do this Solo”.

End strong with, “You are going to make someone really happy someday”. The important thing is, be honest with myself, don’t sugar-coat it or ghost myself. 👻

Step 3: Rocky Road, Vodka Sangria, box of tissues, fluffy slippers, and emo movies…with “Say Something” playing softly in the background. Check. ✔️

Step 4: Write a blog post about it during my blog anniversary month – yes, I started emptying my brain into this blog in 2013!!! Wow! Thank you for joining me in the saga of my life! 🤗🤗🤗

Step 5: Write monthly update blog posts for the next year about my chronic change trip and other stuff that jumps into my brain. 🧠

Roses are red, 🥀

Violets are blue

You are dumped…

And so are you.

 

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Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, COVID-19, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Holidays, kindness, New Year, satire

How To Get Away With Christmas

Posted on by D. Parker

FOMO Christmas – ghosts of blogs past!

yadadarcyyada

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays,try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins…

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Posted in Blog posts, COVID-19, Educational, Fibromyalgia, Zoom

Show Me The Money!

Posted on by D. Parker

Money is still, somehow, one of those weirdly “taboo” subjects.

This horror movie we’re living in, which so far has no credits, just keeps rolling on, but perhaps it can have a tiny silver lining. It can teach us to discuss everything. To be transparent, honest, to see all sides, all possibilities. We need to stop going to “check out that noise” or “check the basement” or “go to the attic”. If we learn nothing else from this nightmare, we should learn to be honest.

Too many people think honesty is scary. It’s the same when it comes to money. They think discussing money is: “scary”, “embarrassing”, “frightening”, “crass”, or “inappropriate”. We all need money, unfortunately (it’s the main reason the world is a mess, simplistic, maybe, but it doesn’t make it untrue).

Money controls our lives. It’s the true reason for most of the world’s problems, yet too many people refuse to talk about it, learn about it, and try to figure out why money’s too tight to mention. Politics, religion, food, vaccines, masks, money, “The Great Pumpkin”…geez, what can we talk about these days without a brawl?

Times are tough, or not, depending which politicians are trying to score which point.

Most people have at least a rudimentary knowledge of budgeting, oh no, I said a dirty word, the “b” word, “budget”. Who knows what I’ll say next? “Economize”. “Reduce”. Or the big “F”, “frugal”. Gasp!

Why are people ashamed of being poor? Or nowadays, using words like “reduced circumstances” (what if you were never, er, “duced”?). Being “poor” isn’t a financially transmitted disease you’ll catch by using coupons, price-matching, or shopping at thrift stores! It’s not an austere version of COVID-19 (but for actual viruses, please wear a mask, wash your hands, use hand sanitizer, physical distance, don’t hoard toilet paper, stay home as much as possible and stay connected).

Some folks are the same way about frugality. They seem to think trying to save money, trying not to spend so much, trying not to go into debt is somehow “embarrassing”. That somehow you should be ashamed of: shopping the sales, couponing, getting freebies, price-matching, buying secondhand (gently loved), or just generally living below your means. Yet personally, I love, love, love the Depression Era slogan,

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without.”

I’m proud of being able to pinch a penny (for those who still have any) till it screams!!! Why? I don’t believe that being “poor” is “bad” just like I don’t believe being “rich” is “good”. It’s not noble to be poor or to be rich. Money should never be a measure of success. Character should be a measure of success. On The Orville they have a system of no money (gasp!), everyone has what they need and what they want – it’s their reputation, their character that counts. Imagine turning our crazy world upset down and finally using “common” sense/no cents?

Until then, here’s some ways to save…

1… Stay connected. Stay safe. Zoom meetings help you stay connected and a Zoom account is free (40 min time limit/unlimited on holidays). Also, Skype, Facebook Messenger, Discord, etc. 

Other ways to save?

2…Love streaming, but not the cost of streaming? There are some “Free” alternatives, when it comes to streaming (but don’t be fooled and keep an eye out, some become decidedly less free and others more free!). Though we don’t have as many options here in Canada as larger population countries, but times are achangin’, so stay tuned. Here are few, including but not limited to:

  • Tubi (free and fantastic).
  • MUCH – more than music.
  • Food Network
  • Pluto TV
  • YTV
  • Slice
  • Vice
  • TVO
  • TVO Kids
  • CBC/GEM
  • OMNI
  • APTN lumi
  • TDF
  • BET
  • Driving Television
  • The Weather Network
  • CPAC
  • HGTV
  • Food Network
  • BNN
  • Classic Cinema Online
  • ConTV
  • Knowledge: KIds (even has “Paw Patrol”)
  • Roku channel (if you stream on Roku)
  • Kanopy
  • Hoopla
  • PopcornFlix
  • Crackle
  • CTV (timed/limited)
  • Global (timed/limited)
  • and/or you can buy an indoor digital TV antenna or an outdoor antenna…there are so many ways to save and see!

Plus, look for Free Trials (many streaming services are, sadly, removing their “free” trials, for example, Netflix and Disney Plus) of streaming/music/reading services. Again, though we don’t have as many options here in Canada as larger population countries, but times are achangin’, so stay tuned. Here’s a few available now, including but not limited to:

  • Acorn TV
  • Britbox
  • Crave
  • HBO/TMN
  • Spotify
  • Kindle Unlimited
  • Audible
  • Apple Music
  • Amazon Music
  • YouTube Premium
  • Sirius Canada
  • PBS
  • Sundance Now
  • Crunchyroll
  • Shudder
  • Smithsonian
  • Funimation
  • Discovery Channel
  • Amazon Prime Video
  • Apple TV
  • and more!

Watch and see if they’re right for you. Note the start date of your free trial and cancel if you don’t like them. Cancel a few days before, you’ll still have the preview to the end of the trial. Easy-“stay home”-“stay safe”-“stay connected”-free-peasy-lemon-squeezy.

3… The “C” word, no, not Coronavirus, or cancer, in this case, a good “c” word, coupons! We used to clip these, now, they’re printed, or digital, or sometimes still mailed to us. I save a lot of money with coupons, sometimes even getting items free (what a lovely word, I never get tired of hearing or seeing it). If you’re into it, there’s also lots of free samples, contests, and surveys out there. Savealoonie, Samplesource, Websaver, Save.ca, Lifepoints, Smartcanucks, Pinecone Research, Asking Canadians, Swagbucks, and so, so many more. Sometimes, I get freebies, coupons, samples for items I don’t want or use, but get them anyway so I give them to others. Find more ways to save and places to find savings online through frugality blogs and other websites. If you have suggestions for ways to save, please leave them in the comment box below. I love to learn. I love to save.

4… Get paid to shop! Music to our ears and our wallets (virtual or otherwise). That’s exactly what some apps do, like: Rakuten Canada (formerly Ebates), Caddle, Checkout 51, Airmiles, PC Optimum, Petro-Points, Shopper Army, Swagbucks, Plum Rewards (the free version), The Mission Store, David’s Tea, The Body Shop, and so, so many more – look them up! And don’t forget to add the Honey, an app that checks for online coupons and can save you even more!

5… Happy Birthday! Lots of places give birthday “treats” – free stuff or discounts, etc. Don’t feel comfortable giving your “real” date of birth, make yourself a few years younger. But remember, sometimes age does matters! Specifically with Student Discounts and Senior Discounts (some start as low as 55 – the new 45?). Discounts at stores, restaurants, education, pharmacies, thrift stores, travel, car rentals, banking, hotels, entertainment, museums and so many more! Don’t be afraid to ask, you have nothing to lose and so much to win!

6… Groupon. Make sure you read the fine print (always good advice, for every single thing in life). I’ve found some great deals there, including but not limited to: Costco memberships with Shop cards/products that negate the amount of your membership (really!); pizza (anyone who says money can’t buy happiness, has never paid for a pizza or the makings of a pizza, yes, you can make pizza at home!). Oh, and I paid $4 for a movie w/ popcorn and a drink – I went and saw that movie in a theater, remember those? Back in the good old days when we went to a place, went inside the building, with other people, sat in seats, beside other people, and watched a movie.

8…Price/Ad Matching – you can bring a flyer (not so much now, but “BC” – “Before Covid”, or show an app on a smartphone (ie. Flipp, Reebee, etc.) from one store to another, just show it to clerk and get items cheaper (yahoo!!!). Of course, an easy, amazing way to save is sales. Shop sales!

 

But wait, there’s more…

9…It doesn’t have to be complicated, look close to home. Look around your place. If you have the time and energy, cooking, canning, preserving, and baking are shockingly easy ways to save money. Find ways to do so that make life easier.

 

10… Sewing, mending, knitting, DIY, gardening, and so much more. Decluttering. Repurposing – for example, my Mom magically changes T-shirts, pajamas, etc. into fun pillow art/pillow covers.

11…Sort through your “treasures”, you know the ones: collecting dust; being used to hang clothes on; stored; just-in-case; might-fit-me-someday; what-if-I-need-it?; whatever — sell them, donate them, give them away, swap them.

12…Why buy new?

Why pay more? Buy gently loved. Buy previously loved. Buy brand spanking new but never used and given away. In this wildly consumer-driven culture, we too often “Dumpit to Crumpit”. But many people also generously donate. There are treasures to be found at: thrift stores, secondhand stores, mission stores, Salvation Army, Goodwill, eBay, Etsy (some new stuff, handmade) many of these places now are online as well! Don’t let perfectly lovely things go to the trash heap when you can give them new life. I’ve found Alfred Sung, Doc Marten, Derek Alexander and so much more, often w/ tags still on. A quirky wooden box that says library (it’s where I keep library books, how original). I don’t know the fate of “thrift” stores in a new world order, but for now, if you’re careful, we have hope.

13… Look for free things to see and do in your community. Take walks on your streets (actually use the sidewalks, safer and if no sidewalks, remember, walk facing oncoming traffic and pay attention, stay safe). Go for lovely walks in your parks. Parks are an amazing resource, they’re ready for anything: Cycling. Picnics. Tai Chi. Yoga. Boating. Fishing. Photography. Martial arts. Playing. Pausing. I love walking through our Ponds – though I live in a large, very busy city, when I step in here, I’m in the woods…

Get out there and discover!

14… Speaking of local, how about your local library? Libraries aren’t just buildings with books (but seriously, books are awesome!!!). And now many libraries are going fine free which is fabulous, but seriously, return the books, DVDs, CDs, magazines and more. Many library resources are online, especially now. You can check out ebooks, e-audio books and they’re returned automatically. You can learn languages, look up your ancestry, and stream movies. Read/enjoy thousands of free magazines and newspapers. Learn from free online courses. Get creative with hundreds of crafts. And so much more!!! Also, most cities allow you to get a non-resident card for a small fee. Go online, check it out, what do you have to lose? Hours and hours of fun and who knows what you’ll learn? Look around your neighbourhood for “Little Free Libraries” or “Swap Boxes” – take a book, leave a book. In these tough times, people also leave: food, household items, coupons, etc. Truly a community spirit exercise. Sharing is caring, in so many ways.

15…Online is filled with free (yes, free, why pay?) courses 

These are just a small sampling. Before you throw money at courses, check out some free ones!

What?!? More?!?

16… Of course, YouTube – the vast universe of stuff at your fingertips!!!
Travel the world (who knew I’d become a
travel blogger during a pandemic?).
Watch “SNL” (especially vintage).
Watch “Graham Norton”.
“Honest Trailers”.
“Seth Meyers”.
“Jimmy Fallon”. Cooking. Baking.
Gaming. Knitting. Sewing. Quilting.
Coding. Household repairs.
Shoe repairs. Car repairs.
Learn languages including:
“Dothraki”, “Klingon”, “Elvish”,
“Nadsat”, “Minionese”, “Na’vi”,
“Parseltongue”, “Huttese” and
even some “real” languages.
Want to know how to
cut an onion without crying? Decluttering. Organizing.
Tips and tricks. Life hacks.
Health videos (beware).
Magic tricks. CPR.
Sourdough tricks.
Watch (particpate?!?)
exercise videos (personal fav for Fibromyalgia folks, https://cocolimefitness.com/ ).
Chess. Poker. Meditation.
How to budget
(oh no, the “b” word again).
Live performance and concerts.
Music videos and events.
Lip Sync Battles. Movies.
How to make masks.
How to sell on eBay.
How to fight a shark.Find any fix. Find news…from anywhere in the world (galaxy?).
Watch a NASA launch.
Find reviews.
Find things that make you snooze –
am I the only adult that enjoys
listening to celebs reading
bedtime stories to me?
Thank you, Dolly Parton,
Jeff Goldblum (stories, umm, umm, umm, find a way), Tom Hardy, Sean Astin (I made a promise to read, Mr. Frodo), Ray Romano, Jude Law,
Josh Gad (do you wanna read a story?), Jennifer Garner, Helen Mirren, Stephen Fry, Lupita Nyong’o, Justin Theroux, Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Chrissy Metz, Betty White (thank you for being a friend),
Melissa Gilbert (Little Library on the Prairie?), David Harbour (Stranger Reads?), Kristen Bell, Allison Janney, Oprah (And you get a story! And you get a story! And you get a story!), Barbara Bain, Michelle Yeoh, Jake Gyllenhaal (I don’t know how to quit you), Chris Pine, Dule Hill, David Schwimmer (I’ll be there for you!), Chris Evans (er, just don’t read from Instagram, Cap),
Kiernan Shipka, Christian Slater (Pump up the Reading Volume), Amy Adams, Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Firth, Lily James, Jeff Bridges, James Earl Jones, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Silverman, Rashida Jones, Chris O’Dowd, Mac Conley, Jimmy Fallon, David Byrne, Billie Piper, David Tennant,Josh Brolin (his reading is inevitable), Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Costner, Julie Walters, Eddie Redmayne, Eva Longoria,
Natalie Portman, Iggy Pop, Rami Malek (we are the reading champions), Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Emma Thompson,
and more, thank you for promoting reading!!! Most are children’s books, some YA and adult books, but whatever they are, thank you for reading to relax me, er, for the children and for charity. Also, free guided mediation on YouTube (Calm, limited; PureGym; Tara Brach UCLA Reasearch; BoHo beautiful; City of Surry; well, you get the idea, the sky’s the limit or beyond). Thank you Chris Hemsworth for the guided meditation. Thank you to the late, great Maya Angelou for leaving us recordings of her gifts; Neil Gaiman for reading us Dickens and Dr. Suess; Christopher Walken for sharing the horror of Edgar Allan Poe as only Walken can, and so many more. Get online and explore. Of course, for Shakespeare lovers and general sonnet lovers alike: Vincent D’Onofrio, Rufus Sewell, William Sadler, Michael Gaston, Lindy Booth, Sir Patrick Stewart (and more) – thank you for reading me stirring sonnets everyday (make it so).

17... Seasons change, but fun stays all the year long. There are many free or frugal activities for each and every season. Here are just a few.

  • Walking – free.
  • Loyalty – free.
  • Quiet – free.
  • Integrity – free.
  • Common sense – free.
  • Snuggling (the snuggle is real) – free.
  • Do you wanna build a snowman? – free.
  • Gratitude – free.
  • Courage – free.
  • Dancing – free.
  • Talking (words matter) – free.
  • Generosity – free.
  • Comfort – free.
  • Joy – free.
  • Forgiveness – free.
  • Compassion – free.
  • Snow angels – free.
  • Hope – free.
  • Imagination – free.
  • Smiling – free.
  • Games, so many games online, free. Puzzles, card games, board games, video games and so much more – free.
  • Friendship – free.
  • Sunlight – free.
  • Sincerity – free.
  • Perseverance – free.
  • Respect – free.
  • Empathy – free.
  • Moonlight – free.
  • Laughing – free.
  • Truth (not just your truth, the truth) – free.
  • Singing – free.
  • Love – free.
  • Understanding – free.
  • Ambition – free.
  • Fairness – free.
  • Cheer – free.
  • Art – free.
  • Literature (see library information above) – free.
  • Music (your brain is full of it, let it flow) – free.
  • Cookies – rarely free sadly (we need a weather machine that makes it rain cookies, who’s with me?), but you can buy the ingredients on sale or with price matching, etc., frugal.

The Grinch learned that Christmas doesn’t have to come from a store, that Christmas can mean just a little bit more. A timeless and free life lesson. And the same goes for birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, every day. How much you spend doesn’t show how much you care. Caring is free.

Kindness is free! So spread it around. Sprinkle that kindness anywhere and everywhere. Fill the world with it…Kindness is the key, and lucky for us, the free key.

 

 

 

Posted in Canada, COVID-19, Fibromyalgia, Star Wars

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

Posted on by D. Parker

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…(you know you have to clap now, do it, just do it!).

Your job’s (bet Guaranteed Basic Income doesn’t look so “Commie” now huh?) now a stay-at-home-joke, you’re more-or-less broke…


Your love life’s “virtually” D.O.A.


It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear (if you remember how to drive).


When it hasn’t been your minute, your hour, your day, your week, your month
Or even your year (Any 2020 hindsight advice?).

But I’ll be here for you (in my home)
When the rain starts to pour


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
Even if we weren’t “FRIENDS” before


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
‘Cause you’re probably here for me too (in your home)

You’re still in bed, or the tub, or the tub is now your bed, at ten (AM, PM, who knows these days?).

And for many, “essential” work (less work if people could listen/read/try) never seems to stop…

Your breakfast might be lunch or dinner (those can all be chocolate during a pandemic, right?), then again, who the Hell knows or cares?

Things are going great, if you’re counting the number of swears…

Your mother (Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, especially my Mom  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/09/happy-mothers-day-i-just-ate-your-gift/   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ ) warned you there’d be days like these (not weeks or months), but she didn’t tell you all this could really happen, seriously, this is for real…

it seems surreal, but yup, happening:

 We’d be streaming incessantly (beyond Netflix, YouTube and Amazon Prime). I’ve been testing all the “Free Trials” of streaming services, I’ve tried: “Acorn TV”, “Disney+”, “Crave/HBO/TMN”, “Britbox”, and heading toward “Apple TV”, “National Geographic”, “Smithsonian”, and “Shudder” – who knows how far I’ll get, drinking my tea, watching me some “free”…

Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).

We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.

Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).

Trying to learn languages. For me, I’m trying to learn the important stuff first, for example: “Spero tu stia passando una bella giornata miei adorati lettori, avete pasta per me? “(“I hope you are having a nice day my beloved readers, do you have pasta for me?”); “ Ich brauche Kuchen” (“I need cake”); “¿Donde estan las galletas?” (“Where are the cookies?”); “Je veux de la pizza” (“I want pizza”)…just some essential phrases.

Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).

We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):

  • Coronavirus

  • COVID-19

  • SARS-CoV-2

  • Physical/social distancing

  • R0/reproductive rate

  • Drug repurposing

  • Viral shedding

  • Flattening/flatten the curve

  • Planking/plank the curve

  • Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)

  • Contact tracing

  • Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)

  • Community transmission/spread

  • Fomite

  • Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)

  • Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)

  • Nasopharyngeal swabs

  • Oropharyngeal swabs (updates from Dr. Fauci, Dr. Tam, Dr. Birx and others are like watching police dramas, they all talk about swabs a lot, “Did you get the swabs?”, “I got the swabs”, “Did you need another swab?”, “What do ya mean we’re out of swabs? Get more swabs!”, “We need billions of swabs!”. Police shows and pandemics, brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, but that’s a whole other story https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/18/this-is-not-a-toy/)

  • PPE (personal protective equipment)

ACE-2 is a gateway receptor (who knows what it will lead to?).

Be comforted by bedtime stories from: Dolly Parton, David Tennant, Oprah, Stephen Fry, Betty White, Rami Malek, James McAvoy, Sarah Silverman, Chris Pine, Kristen Bell, Tom Hardy – ooooh, can he read them in Bane (he was so ahead of his time, he worse a mask, quarantined a city and cancelled all events, including sports) or Venom voices too, please?

And James Earl Jones – seriously, Darth Vader reads me to sleep, “May The Fourth Be With You” and Beware the “Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth” and too much spicy food on Cinco de Mayo could cause Revenge of the Shi…well, you know, moderation, ok?.

 

Worrying about Murder Hornets, really, who came up with that name, at least make it alliterative, how about “Homicide Hornets” or “Horror Hornets”? Like this: “Slaughter Slugs”, “Maiming Moths”, “Assassin Ants”, “Snuff Snails”…

Getting slightly ever so bored with: baking (getting too warm now anyway); is there enough testing, not enough testing (it’s making me testy);

Zoomfail hashtags (don’t you wish you’d bought shares in Zoom?); “Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo”, kidding, who could ever get tired of that?,

people arguing about “Mandela Effect” online, hmmm, or maybe that never happened.

Making masks, cleaning masks, remembering to bring your masks, remembering not to wear a hockey mask to the grocery store…so many things to remember, what was I talking about again?

Being on video, seriously, before all this I hated going on camera or video, now it’s, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Zoom, no, no, not that close!”.

People actually listening to someone that lies incessantly, slurs their words, and suggests we could kill COVID-19 by injecting disinfectant into the body and/or UV light, no buddy, why are you like this, why are you the way you are?

That we’d be staying so much: “Stay Home”, “Stay Safe”, “Stay Connected”, “Stay At Home”, “Stay Healthy”, Sit/”Stay”/Roll Over, “Stay in place”, “Stay trippy dude”, “Stay the course”, “Stay fresh” (seriously, you need to shower even if you’re isolated alone)…

I can easily imagine self-isolation has lead to re-enacting musicals with Star Wars action figures, Muppets and/or hand shadows, I’m sure someone somewhere is doing this (please, please, please send me links).

That our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (Canada rules!) would tell us the things, the things he knows that stop you from “speaking moistly”?!?

 I’ll be here for you
When the someone knocks on your door (gasp!)
I’ll be here for you
When you’re dreaming Obama is still POTUS


I’ll be here for you
‘Cause you’re here for me too (on Zoom?)

No one could ever know me (cause I’m wearing a mask)
No one could ever see me (cause I’m doing a flask task at home)


Seems now more people know
What it’s like to be…chronically me?


Someone to Facetime (Skype/Zoom/Messenger, text, call, whatever) the day with.


Make it through Quarantine Life (only going out for necessities of life, I don’t know about toilet paper, but donuts count, right?) with…


Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah

I’ll be here for you
When the sun starts to shine


I’ll be here for you
When for the great outdoors we pine…


I’ll be here for you
‘Cause we’re (patiently?) waiting for a sign

I’ll be here for you (speaking moistly)


I’ll be here for you (singing: Andrea Bocelli; Ultravox; Ramones; Ed Sheeran; Elton John; Cher (if we could turn back time); Green Day – don’t wannabe an, well, you-know-what;

Foo Fighters; Nivana; The Beatles – “Don’t Come Together”, “We All Live in Self-Quarantine”;

U2, The Police “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/14/dont-stand-so-close-to-me/

and Queen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/, and so many more, all totally, totally, totally in tune).


I’ll be here for you (sissying my quarantine fashion, picture me rocking Mickey Mouse leggings, Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt, Paddington coat, and Nirvana baseball cap https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/03/17/im-still-standing-yeah-yeah-yeah/, strangely enough, no pictures, that I know of, while putting red ribbons on the trees to say “Thank You – no thanks are ever ever ever going to be enough for our essential workers, but you could start with simple steps: Be Kind, Stay Home, Wash Your Hands).


Hope you’re here for me too (but like, not here here, like, there but emotionally here, together but apart, but connected, so non-contagious virtual hugs and chats and tweets, comments, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, and all that, but over there while I’m over here, but we’ll both be there, well, here for each other…I’m confused. I need more simplicity https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressive-simplification/ What about you?).


 

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Fibromyalgia

Aggressive Simplification

Posted on by D. Parker

 

“There is no point
in using the word
‘impossible’
to describe
something
that has
clearly
happened.”
=== Douglas
                    Adams

It happened and I let it happen. Not once, twice, or thrice, but over and over again. As impossible as it seemed, I let my life, wait, “let” seems too passive, I actively  participated in the over-complication of my life.

Oh, I told myself I was simplifying. I did all the “right” things. I organized, sorted, classified, tidied, de-cluttered…tried to keep only things that sparked joy.

Yet my life felt like I was just moving round those deck chairs on the “Titanic” (there was room on the board for Jack, Rose, remember, never let go?).

Then complications, on tiny clawed feet creep, whether or not I leave them a treat…

1. First stage of grief – denial.
 In denial my life was
              that complicated.
     I had balls in the air,
  juggling like a clown;
 I like helping people laugh
   (I’m a bit of a Joker),
 but clowns wear too
much make-up,
      for my personal taste.

“Simplification” always means removing stuff, right?
Usually, but not always, sometimes it means:
adding, switching, modifying, adapting,
accommodating, changing, rethinking,
reclassifying, redistributing…a whole lot of re-ing.

2. Next, I hit a wall of pain and guilt.

Yup, those flying “Whys”  hit like me like a sock full of pennies. “Why was I so sick?” “Why couldn’t I get better?” “Why me?” “Why?”

3. Anger (Envy?) and Bargaining.
“So many people don’t appreciate: their health, their life,
the good people and things;
why do they have so much
of things they don’t appreciate?”

“Whoever may be out, let’s strike a bargain, what do you want to make this better?”

4. Depression/Reflection/Loneliness.
“I’m worthless.”
“I’m a drain.”
“I’m a burden.”
Breaks into a chorus of
“All by Myself”
while fighting
her own hand
reaching for the cookies.

5. The upward turn.
“I can do this.”
“I can find even more resources.”
“I can find more people who understand.”

“I can help myself.” “I can push even harder.” “I’m pretty amazing.”

6. Reconstruction and working through. When I said it wasn’t all about de-cluttering, it was a big part because…sigh,

I’m a fantastic bargain sniffer hunter stalker predator shopper.

Brand names for dirt cheap, price/ad matching, coupons/freebies, sales…long story short, had (insert understatement here) more stuff than I realized. More than half of the more is gone now.

Bumped up my phone plan cause counting seconds wasn’t saving my brain and I was missing stuff and things.

Got more medical resources.

Watched stuff that made me smile and think and not think and lot of giggling: “Knives Out”, “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina”, “Fleabag”, “The Walking Dead”, “The Good Place”, “Virgin River”, “Lost”, “Grace and Frankie” (want to know if a veteran actor/actress is alive, watch this), “The Orville”, “Jack Ryan”, “SNL”, “Joker”, “Lost In Space”, “Spiderman: Far From Home”, “Marriage Story”, “Glitch”, “The Expanse”, and thank you kindly to Netflix for Season 2 of “You”…You know I like to watch.

Unplugged from social media more; it’s a learning curve of an addiction.

And I’m trying to blog more too (stop overthinking), here https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/11/22/99-problems-and-fibromyalgia-is-all-of-them/ (hopefully, if life stops giving me lemons…I want chocolate!!!).

I changed internet providers. New email: darcyyada@gmail.com

Got Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to give up being Royals (sorta) and move to Canada cause we’re nice, eh (and we have Justin Trudeau and #Donutgate). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

7. Acceptance and hope. Now more organized, but with the understanding things pop up to:
disrupt,
disturb
and
displace
the calm
and toss things
into the chaos realm. 

Hopefully the extra measures I have taken with my “aggressive simplification” will be enough to keep the monsters of chaos at bay.

There’s no linear path to anywhere or anything, it’s all wibbly wobbly, up and down, round and round.

Most living things grieve, in different ways. We grieve those we’ve loved and lost, friendships, connections, community, hope, opportunities, time, health, jobs, dreams…

I predict complications and chaos will continue, but instead of thinking (or overthinking it, thank goodness I never ever ever ever, did I mention ever, do that!) of it all as a catastrophe, think of it as a chance to learn.

Posted in Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Chronic Suckage

Posted on by D. Parker

Lazy. Crazy. Whiner. Hypochondriac. Attention-seeking. All in your head.   “Fibromyalgia is just another word for lazy.” yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/ 

And the classic, “But you don’t look sick”. Feel free to add more. I think I’ve heard them all…but you never know.

Yup, I got 99 Problems and Fibromyalgia (Fibromialgia) is all of them…or at least it makes any problem much much much much worse.

I won’t bore you with all the symptoms:

  • Extreme, endless fatigue (I’ve never heard, “everyone gets tired”…sigh).

  • Extreme, endless all-over-body-pain 24/7/365 (“everyone has pain, especially as they get older” – how do you presume to know my pain or anyone else’s pain but yours?).

  • Dry eyes/mouth.

  • Hair loss.

  • IBS (Oh joy, love nothing more than talking about my bowels to: doctors, family, friends, strangers, interns, readers…”What did you want to be when you grow up?” “Constipated.”).

  • Dizziness.

  • Clumsiness.

  • Nausea.

  • Depression (tough not to be depressed by all this).

  • Sleep issues (screw off Alpha waves, no one wants you here).

  • Mood disorders (maybe my many, many moods are just as ordered as they should be).

  • Headaches/migraines.

  • Restless leg syndrome.

  • Anxiety (pick a kind, any kind).

  • Tender points (misnomer, not tender, excruciating, but trigger points make sense).

  • Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Memory and learning problems, like, aah, like, well, there’s Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Scattered thoughts (dust in the wind, all my thoughts are dust in the wind).

  • Numbness.

  • Tingling (not the good kind).

  • Shakiness (not the good kind).

  • TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome).

  • Painful and frequent urination.

  • You may notice a pattern here, #Pain!

  • Sharp pain, stabbing pain, dull aching pain, burning pain, throbbing pain (Beavis and Butthead laugh for 5 minutes now about “throbbing”).

  • Extreme sensitivity to: light, noise, sounds, smells, temperatures, humidity, dryness, changes in the weather (especially extreme heat or cold, fun in Canada, eh).

  • Also, to tastes, textures (Princess and the Pea was written about someone with Fibromyalia, for sure).

  • Stiffness (not the fun kind).;

  • Especially morning stiffness (not the fun kind).

  • Let’s not forget Allodynia.

  • Itching (like, bugs-under-your-skin-when-jonesing-kind-of-itching, er, for chocolate, my drug of choice).

  • Waking up feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck or attacked by a Terminator or zombie (brains?) – We are The Walking Dead.

  • And don’t even get me started on surviving the Holidaze, er, holidays – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Black Friday (it’s counted as a holiday now, right?), actually I can do CyberMonday, and they’re lined up to take me out for Valentine’s Day…

I could go on and on (really), but you get the point.

It sucks.

Chronic suckage.

What can anyone do to try to help chronic suckage?

  • Pills/medications (anti this, anti that, pro this, pro that, SSRIs, SNRIs, NSAIDs, PB&J – checking if you were still paying attention, lotions, notions, rubs, gels – not the fun kind – vitamins, supplements, opioids, snake oil, gargoyle oil, and on and on).

  • Exercise.

  • Natural remedies.

  • Injections.

  • Yoga.

  • Meditation.

  • Deep breathing (keep breathing).

  • Tai Chi (saved my life).

  • Change of diet (I do FODMAP, look it up, you’ll hate it).

  • Massage (no happy endings).

  • Physical therapy.

  • Rest/relaxation/Self-Care.

  • CBT, CBD, CBC, CBA, COD…

  • Trials.

  • Errors.

It’s all just fleeting moments of feeling almost human.

And if all wasn’t bad enough, many people assume this invisible disability is and let’s see if I have this right, a conspiracy wherein the medical profession has effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people (wasn’t that nice of them?). Perfectly reasonable, it’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. What exactly would their motivation be? Why make up an illness, aren’t there already enough? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.

There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues. So they don’t suffer, don’t feel – it’s all some magical conspiracy…

People like to mock. I get that. It’s become a past-time, even a job for some people, especially in the internet age. I also get those same people would want/expect doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that booming business.

I didn’t ask to be ill. Given the choice I’d be “normal”. I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect? Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.

So how do I cope with ongoing agonizing pain, debilitating fatigue and all the other heaping piles of steaming sh*t that comes with Fibromyalgia aka chronic suckage? If you’re a reader of my blog you know, I think laughter is the best medicine. Laughing even if it hurts sometimes still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place like Psych or George Carlin, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office and more. Tons of laughter a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, but it gives me some quality of life.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/31/lessons-learned-goodbye-2017/

For example, this was one of my Tweets, “When I see a thong in a store all I think is, how would I explain to #EMTs all my multiple injuries were caused by just trying on a thong. Huh. #ThatsHot #thongs“. @yadadarcyyada 

I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Treatments, medications, family, friends and finding a community that gets you, that understands when you have to cancel plans (again)…

Or you can’t remember, ummm, can’t remember, er, huh…and the only good thing you can say about your day is you’re “above ground”, well, anyway.

The thing is, people are just people – no matter how rich or poor; sick (this is an equal opportunity destroyer) or well; all sizes, shapes and shades; known or unknown – you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t give people a chance. Some will let you down, disappoint, hurt your brain, your heart, your body, but they’re oddly beneficial, they help us appreciate the good ones even more.

Get out there, in person, online, by phone, text, email, do stuff, I don’t know, play cards, smile, knit, donate (give what you can, including your time and talents), bowl, cuddle, talk, sign, sing, walk, dance, embrace your crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/

swim, skate, scuba (gate?), especially smile at children, jog, blog, snog (probably not at the same time unless you’re uber talented), ignore, don’t keep score it’s a bore, read, write, compose, doodle, paint, play, bike, hike, “Like”, bake (me a cake? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/),

listen, learn, love, add to the world, be part of the solution, go out with friends, care, share, spend time with family, get to know people, smile some more (and more and more and more)!!!

Be kind, be thoughtful, be compassionate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/

Consider others, let your mind soar. I can’t say you won’t ever be sorry, some folks are baffling, but on a whole, you’ll be better for it (and they will be too).

Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me (although compassion and empathy are always welcome), just a reminder that everyone has problems, 99 or less, 99 or more, just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there…so don’t be one of those problems.

Originally published: https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/11/22/99-problems-and-fibromyalgia-is-all-of-them/

 

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness

99 Problems and #Fibromyalgia Is All Of Them

Posted on by D. Parker

Lazy. Crazy. Whiner.
Hypochondriac.
Attention-seeking.
All in your head.  
“Fibromyalgia is just another word for lazy.” yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/ 

And the classic, “But you don’t look sick”.
Feel free to add more.
I think I’ve heard them all…but you never know.

99 Problems and Fibromyalgia (Fibromialgia) is all of them…or at least it makes any problem much much much much worse.

I won’t bore you with all the symptoms:

  • Extreme, endless fatigue (I’ve never heard, “everyone gets tired”…sigh).

  • Extreme, endless all-over-body-pain 24/7/365 (“everyone has pain, especially as they get older” – how do you presume to know my pain or anyone else’s pain but yours?).

  • Dry eyes/mouth.

  • Hair loss.

  • IBS (Oh joy, love nothing more than talking about my bowels to doctors/family/friends/strangers/readers…”What did you want to be when you grow up?” “Constipated.”).

  • Dizziness.

  • Clumsiness.

  • Nausea.

  • Depression (tough not to be depressed by all this).

  • Sleep issues (screw off Alpha waves, no one wants you here).

  • Mood disorders (maybe my many, many moods are just as ordered as they should be).

  • Headaches/migraines.

  • Restless leg syndrome.

  • Anxiety (pick a kind, any kind).

  • Tender points (misnomer, not tender, excruciating, but trigger points make sense).

  • Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Memory and learning problems, like, aah, like, well, there’s Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Scattered thoughts (dust in the wind, all my thoughts are dust in the wind).

  • Numbness.

  • Tingling (not the good kind).

  • Shakiness (not the good kind).

  • TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome).

  • Painful and frequent urination.

  • You may notice a pattern here, #Pain!

  • Sharp pain, stabbing pain, dull aching pain, burning pain, throbbing pain (Beavis and Butthead laugh for 5 minutes now about “throbbing”).

  • Extreme sensitivity to: light, noise, sounds, smells, temperatures, humidity, dryness, changes in the weather (especially extreme heat or cold, fun in Canada, eh).

  • Also, to tastes, textures (Princess and the Pea was written about someone with Fibromyalia, for sure).

  • Stiffness (not the fun kind).;

  • Especially morning stiffness (not the fun kind).

  • Let’s not forget Allodynia.

  • Itching (like, bugs-under-your-skin-when-jonesing-kind-of-itching, er, for chocolate, my drug of choice).

  • Waking up feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck or attacked by a Terminator or zombie (brains?) – We are The Walking Dead.

  • And don’t even get me started on surviving the Holidaze, er, holidays – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Black Friday (it’s counted as a holiday now, right?), actually I can do CyberMonday, and they’re lined up to take me out for Valentine’s Day…


I could go on and on (really), but you get the point.

It sucks.

Chronic suckage.

What can anyone do to try to help chronic suckage?

  • Pills/medications (anti this, anti that, pro this, pro that, SSRIs, SNRIs, NSAIDs, PB&J – checking if you were still paying attention, lotions, notions, rubs, gels – not the fun kind – vitamins, supplements, opioids, snake oil, gargoyle oil, and on and on).

  • Exercise.

  • Natural remedies.

  • Injections.

  • Yoga.

  • Meditation.

  • Deep breathing (keep breathing).

  • Tai Chi (saved my life).

  • Change of diet (I do FODMAP, look it up, you’ll hate it).

  • Massage (no happy endings).

  • Physical therapy.

  • Rest/relaxation/Self-Care.

  • CBT, CBD, CBC, CBA, COD…

  • Trials.

  • Errors.

It’s all just fleeting moments of feeling almost human.

And if all wasn’t bad enough, many people assume this invisible disability is and let’s see if I have this right, a conspiracy wherein the medical profession has effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people (wasn’t that nice of them?). Perfectly reasonable, it’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. What exactly would their motivation be? Why make up an illness, aren’t there already enough? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.

There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues. So they don’t suffer, don’t feel – it’s all some magical conspiracy…

People like to mock. I get that. It’s become a past-time, even a job for some people, especially in the internet age. I also get those same people would want/expect doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that booming business.

I didn’t ask to be ill. Given the choice I’d be “normal”. I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect? Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.

So how do I cope with ongoing agonizing pain, debilitating fatigue and all the other heaping piles of steaming sh*t that comes with Fibromyalgia aka chronic suckage? If you’re a reader of my blog you know, I think laughter is the best medicine. Laughing even if it hurts sometimes still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place like Psych or George Carlin, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office and more. Tons of laughter a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, but it gives me some quality of life.

For example, this was one of my Tweets last week, “When I see a thong in a store all I think is, how would I explain to #EMTs all my multiple injuries were caused by just trying on a thong. Huh. #ThatsHot #thongs“. @yadadarcyyada 

I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Treatments, medications, family, friends and finding a community that gets you, that understands when you have to cancel plans (again)…

Or you can’t remember, ummm, can’t remember, er, huh…and the only good thing you can say about your day is you’re “above ground”, well, anyway.

Reunited with a fantastic friend from college (we’d lost touch when the dinosaurs died), and get this, we started going to the same Fibro group on the same day, from different cities. I don’t know what they call that, fate, destiny, providence, kismet, but I call it cool and lucky.

Finding ways to help myself by helping others.

The thing is, people are just people – no matter how rich or poor; sick (this is an equal opportunity destroyer) or well; all sizes, shapes and shades; known or unknown – you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t give people a chance. Some will let you down, disappoint, hurt your brain, your heart, your body, but they’re oddly beneficial, they help us appreciate the good ones even more.

Get out there, in person, online, by phone, text, email, do stuff, I don’t know, play cards, smile, knit, donate (give what you can, including your time and talents), bowl, cuddle, talk, sign, sing, walk, dance, embrace your crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ ,

swim, skate, scuba (gate?), especially smile at children, jog, blog, snog (probably not at the same time unless you’re uber talented), ignore, don’t keep score it’s a bore, read, write, compose, doodle, paint, play, bike, hike, “Like”, bake (me a cake? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/),

listen, learn, love, add to the world, be part of the solution, go out with friends, care, share, spend time with family, get to know people, smile some more (and more and more and more)!!!

Be kind, be thoughtful, be compassionate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/

Consider others, let your mind soar. I can’t say you won’t ever be sorry, some folks are baffling, but on a whole, you’ll be better for it (and they will be too).

Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me (although compassion and empathy are always welcome), just a reminder that everyone has problems, 99 or less, 99 or more, just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there…so don’t be one of those problems.

 

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media

Head Over Heels

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/I wanted to be  with you alone
(on the internet?).
And talk about the weather
(What is the deal with the weather?
Pick a season, stay with it til the next one).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/
But traditions can’t be traced
(or can they, again, the internet).
We get tricked when
we only stick with our base.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/Nothing keeps our attention…
We’re lost in admiration,
could we need it this much?Oh, is it wasting time?
Just, just, just wasting time.
Something happens and
we’re head over heels.
We never find out till
we’re head over heels…

  • We ‘humans’ fall head over heels quickly, with: people, pets, passions, movies, books, songs (I’m still on a Tears For Fears kick although The Cars too, goodbye Ric Ocasek, you were just what we needed), politicians, celebrities, television shows, smartphones and other electronic gadgets and gizmos, cars, causes, friends, fads, flights of fancy…oops1

And when we fall out of love, look out, love can quickly turn to hate (and shouldn’t continue to date, not great).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/                                                                   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/29/next-time-you-bring-the-cookies/                              https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/

and migraines (latest treatment, painful and tiring, but seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the very long, very dark tunnel, oooh, hope it’s not just another train);and writing (trying) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/.

I still love my readers, other bloggers, but sometimes I wish I knew how to quit you (or me, or WordPress, or the internet).

  • I’ve fallen hard for another Australian series (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ or is that just gravity talking?), this time, “The Heart Guy” aka “Doctor Doctor”. A brilliant bad boy cardiac surgeon gets sent home, as a punishment, to practice medicine in his hometown, Whyhope. Naturally, things get complicated fast. Rodger Corser (In “Glitch” as well, S3 is about to crawl out of the ground soon) may play the lead, Dr. Hugh Knight but his cast-mates are bright shining lights cutting into any and all plans. Why hope? Why not? Another season has been approved and I’m cheering. Yahoo! For Canadians this dramedy reminds me a bit of “Corner Gas” with more actual drama and for the U.S., like “Seinfeld” but with less New York snark and more Down Under snark.

  • Bewitched by de-cluttering and minimalizing (is that even a word, seriously, it should be…) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/

  • I’ve got one of cupids arrows stuck deep in my heart (could explain chest pains, besides the Tietze Syndrome) for writing and reading then writing some more. Will I ever be an author, a real live published author, as many of my talented fellow bloggers are, as so many writers are, who knows, but it’s fun slow blogging and writing the world’s best novels…in my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/23/if-i-could-save-time-in-a-blog-bottle/

  • Captivated with “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Thank you to the parents of Margaret Atwood and Elisabeth Moss for giving us such gifts. It’s funny to think I first read this book almost 35 years ago, when I naively thought it was fiction and thank goodness this could never happen. Note to self, never say never. If you haven’t started reading one of Canada’s most precious natural resources, Margaret Atwood, I suggest you love yourself enough to begin your journey. I’ll continue with her latest, “The Testaments”, filled with hints of things to come. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/

  • Infatuated with the idea that all the mysteries of Area 51 could be revealed to the world on September 20, 2019 #theycantstopusall #stormarea51The Truth is Out There or more likely, anything interesting has already been moved to, er, Area 51-A or Area 52? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

love36

kittens, kindness, ice cream, cozy sweaters, Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/the-more-the-scarier/

Thanksgiving
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ ,

smiles (smile cookies), cake, curry, kindness, pumpkin spice, chocolate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/30/you-live-you-die-in-between-theres-chocolate/ ,

sunsets, puppies, pizza (note the coma, grammar saves lives, in this case, adorable puppy lives), Downton Abbey, The Addams Family, ancestry, kindness, songs https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ , friends, a new love (who doesn’t have to but if he looked like Negan, Starlord or Daryl Dixon that would be cool, just as completely random examples), muffins, laughter, strawberries, donuts, chocolate, chocolate donuts, kindness, cupcakes, family, and oh yeah, to write another chapter in my own story.Why suffer from FOMO, you’ll never miss out if you embrace the glorious chaos of life (every day above ground is another chance) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

  • Beguiled by apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian anything (“anything” may be hyperbole, but that’s how things work now, right, facts begone, trouble us no more with your truthiness!),

“The Walking Dead” S10 is soon-ish https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-will-rule/            https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-wont-rule/        https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/21/zombies-on-sesame-street/

I’m caught up on “The 100” (“May we meet again”); I miss “Colony”, “Helix”, “Falling Skies”, “Z Nation”, “Extant”, “Ascension”, “Revolution”, “V”, “iZombie”…but mostly I miss when watching/reading about this stuff was wildly fictional. But I guess, like horror, it’s a safe way to examine our fears without admitting they’re coming true. This is how we live now.

  • Enraptured by the final season of “Game of Thrones” (finally caught up with a free preview month). As a fan, little disappointed, as a writer, loved it, so I’m going with the latter.

                             https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/07/you-know-youre-obsessed-with-game-of-thrones-when/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/03/very-me/

maybe we’ll magically return to the 80s, which we have glamourized to the point of insanity (‘stranger things’ have happened, but keeping remembering neon and big hair) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/As long as you keep falling head over heels with life (just avoid the drama pitfalls https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/ ), your story is bound to be a bestseller https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

  • What are you head over heels about, dear readers, tell me, tell me, cause I need more to love (my heart and mind are like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside).

  • Ways to contact me (on my home planet)

    darcyyada@gmail.com

time14

  • Please send me stuff to review…Despite the Ads Ruining My Posts, I’m Not Getting Paid A Cent by WordPress…I gratefully accept promotional materials, but respectfully reserve the right to decide whether said promotional material is suitable for my blog. 100% honest reviews and the opinions, thoughts, and beliefs will be my own, not that of the provider, party, or manufacturer.

  • Donations to help save the endangered broke and obscure bloggers who once roamed the internet free are appreciated…it’s Paypal, for anyone including, but not limited to eccentric millionaires who want to adopt a blogger.

  • P.S.  WordPress is greedily inserting ads into posts and holding our blogs hostage if we don’t pay the ransom to remove the malware (aka ads), I don’t get a single dime from them…

  • Follow me here, but in a completely non-stalkery way please: https://yadadarcyyada.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/

And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding? 

– Elvis Costello

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media, Uncategorized

People Forget #Kindness Is Free

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Bees’ll buzz and I’ll afford their organic honey cuz…I’ll be doing whatever rich and famous folks do…Sportin’ a healthy bank account, not blown away by emergencies. Da da… Da doo…A bah bah ba baba boo!
Attention and money are both so intense
Put ’em together, it never, ever makes sense!
Rat dadat dadat dadat dadadadadoo
Anonymity’s the best time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in ‘attention’ and I’ll be a happily overexposed attention wh…oh, umm, writer/blogger! So when life gets rough, I persist by frantically grabbing my dreams of not just wallowing in obscurity…Oh the sky will be blue and you guys’ll be there too!!! When I ever do what obscure folks do with attention!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Choose love, hope, peace, kindness (people often forget it’s free), laughter, compassion, family, friends, helping others when you can…naps https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/01/theres-a-nap-for-that/ and cake (not necessarily in that order).

In a world seemingly ruled by attention, how do you keep up (and why)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

 1. Be interesting.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

2. Interesting not enough? Try shocking.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/04/10/shock-and-awww/

3. Shocking still not getting enough clicks, likes, and shares in this attention economy? Try no-no-Notorious (sorry, Duran Duran apparently still holds some mysterious thrall over me).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

4. Are you feeling like you should keep a single thought, event, or moment private? This is your dignity and self-respect rearing its ugly common sense head, don’t self-sabotage! Tell all! Show all! Don’t let fear of failure stop you from succeeding in your attention-seeking goals.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

5. Toss aside burdensome personal and professional relationships – more will come along and if not, you still had your brief, precious moment in the spotlight.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

6. Be committed! This isn’t a diet, gym membership, Netflix browsing (what day is it?), friendship, job, or relationship – this is serious! Getting attention isn’t for the faint of heart. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

7. Stop looking for the meaning of life, you found it: getting attention.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

8. Helping people is nice, but what if you can get attention while doing it? Fire, flood, famine, family, friends, fawning, fatuous, fake fads – all the new attention-grabbing fabulous!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

9. Your life is for sale, stick a sign on you that says ‘Sold’.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

10. Over 4 years ago when I started blogging I wasn’t thinking about the attention, or was I?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

So I’m going to take my own advice, There’s No Crying in Blogging (there is whining thought, right?) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

People think they want attention and/or fame, money, etc., but maybe what they really want is connection.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’m going to stop over-thinking, getting in my own way, getting frustrated (good luck, especially with WordPress around), and enjoy the moment.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’ll try not to think about awful people, instead I’ll think of the awesome people I’ve virtually met (and adore!). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Also, blogging is cheaper than therapy.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Slow blogging (Thanks Fibromyalgia!!! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/) isn’t getting me many clicks and likes, but I’m ok with obscurity and I give thanks for what I have https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

And I can still dream…and can still afford chocolate, for now https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/22/who-moved-my-chocolate/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Movies, Music, Uncategorized

There’s A Nap For That

Posted on by D. Parker

1hate8As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).

I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.

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1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.

2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.

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3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?

4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.

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5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.

6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.

1hate13

7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?

8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.

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9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.

10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.

1hate5

Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).

1hate6

Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant  fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.

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If I said anything wonky during my blog party  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free  – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.

1funny25

Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?

Be brave. Be bold.
Choose love…and naps…and cake
(not necessarily in that order).

1funny589

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Stand By Me

Posted on by D. Parker
Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Can You Feel The Blog Love Tonight?

Posted on by D. Parker

1blog52Turns out, being an adult is hard work.

Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.

1blog49

Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling)
You used to like me on my blog post
Late or early when I needed blog love
And I know when that hotline pinged
It could only mean one thing…
But these days, you’ve become a ghost
Wonder if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post
Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast

1funny1019

But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…

Learning. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Smiling.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

1blog15

I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:

1. I’d have a computer, in my home.

2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.

3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.

4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.

5.  Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…

1blog76

6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.

7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.

8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.

9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.

10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.

1balls5
11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.

12. My body would be my worst enemy.

13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.

14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.

15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).

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16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).

17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.

18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.

19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.

20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.

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So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.

 

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

I’ve Had The Time Of My Life

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny915You’re the one thing I just can’t get enough of.
I’ll tell you something, it could be blog love.
Because I’ve had the time of my life
and I’ve rarely felt this way before,
I swear, it’s the truth and I owe it all to you…
Always liked Dirty Dancing’s message that nothing is impossible (well, except a sequel with Patrick Swayze…or Jennifer Grey’s original nose).  And that nobody should put me in a corner, unless I paint myself in (true story).

Which lead me to Laggies, ok Sam Rockwell lead me there, but intrigued and entertained, I stayed. Kiera Knightley plays a quirky woman (no surprise, but this time, no British accent, way to step out there) who too often waits for others to make decisions for her. Instead of living life according to someone else’s schedule, beliefs, and dreams she decides to follow her heart, her dreams, and finds a her version of happiness.

1funny939

I’ve been getting along with my happiness Project, here’s the first 10 weeks and the next 4…
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/25/in-my-life-i-loved-them-all/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/07/03/how-to-be-good-to-one-another/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/06/shout-shout-my-2-year-blog-birthday-let-it-all-out/

Week 11

1. Company from out-of-town, got them hooked on Haven, muhahaha…also, food involved.

2. Realized people would be 500lbs if they ate as much food as the characters in Joanne Fluke books.

1funny948
3. Read a great book on memory…can’t remember the title.

4. Re-pledged undying allegiance to public libraries.

5.  Thought about taking up knitting….hmm, instead read a book about women in a knitting club, close enough.

6.  Read Beekeeping for Dummies…I have more chance of being a bee than a beekeeper apparently.

7. Tried not to second guess myself, wait, unless that’s a bad idea.

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Week 12

1. Had a zen moment where I just felt floaty – good job remembering not to do this while driving or operating heavy machinery.

2. Donated more stuff.

3. Dental emergency – I know I’ve always tried to be good to you, teeth, but I’ll redouble my efforts.

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4. Pain from dental work, watched The Originals and thought, do vampires need dental work?

5. Some pain, not as much as Orphan Black (wow, Tatiana Maslany playing endless clones just never gets boring), had me revisiting The Island of Dr. Moreau, did I almost forgot how epic H.G. Wells was?

6. Went to mall and yard sales, not sure which were more surreal, people buying junk or selling it.

7. Watched Fear The Walking Dead, really, like anyone would notice the zombie apocalypse that quickly these days, especially in LA.

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Week 13

1. Haters gonna hate, but they’re just noise, listened to the good stuff instead.

2. Lost more of my baby weight, sure, my baby’s 17, but better late than never, right?

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3. Computer’s dying; it has Windows Vista if that gives you any idea of it’s age. Looked for new one.

4. Worried excessively about passing driving test until I noticed I had chocolate…feeling fine.

5. Passed my last driving test, yup, you can teach an old dog new tricks.  They’re dreadfully obsessed with parallel parking, so this is about parallel posting, aka, please leave your link here (in the comment section – any post) for others to find to celebrate with me.

1funny952
6. Saw a music video that made me wonder if I’d been dancing incorrectly for years as my underwear doesn’t show.

7. Master of Horror Wes Craven, died. I always wondered, could some of my insomnia stem from watching Nightmare of Elm Street?

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Week 14

1. Spent time chatting online with Microsoft; quickly realized I knew more than they did.

2. Reminded again how wonderful and brave my son is.

3. Sang Nothing Compares 2 U, out loud, thinking of my blogging friends.

4. Oh, so that’s what it sounds like when the doves cry.

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5. Thought about what I’m going to do next, writing wise.

6. Made a bouquet of pencils.

7. Wrote more emails to politicians and news people.

Remember, it’s just an illusion the world is racing past, go at the speed that makes you happy. Have the time of your life.

1funny918

 

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Message In A Bottle

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/To me, blogging is
a version of the
old-timey message
in a bottle.
The blogging world
is a vast ocean,
we throw our
message out there
and hope against hope
someone finds it.
Some of us are trying to
connect, share, find others,
teach, or maybe even
send out an SOS.
So how do you start
your own ‘message in a bottle’
and make it reach others?

 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

1. Don’t think about if your readers will love what you write or you’re going to be discovered, just make sure you love it, then hopefully, they will. If not, there’s always chocolate.

2. Remember as you send these bottles out, those you’re trying to reach are never far from the madding crowd (hearing people mispronounce the title, Far From the Madding Crowd is actually more fun than the book/movies, is that wrong?). People are busy, so when they open their email to see a hundred billion bottles washed up on their shore, it can be overwhelming.

3. In this same vein, posts can be vampires, sucking away time. Or maybe sometimes a vampire is just a vampire.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

4.  Posts can also be zombies, shuffling into our readers or mailboxes, taking bites out of the day. I don’t know if I Fear The Walking Dead so much as opening my email, in other words, know your audience…it can be a grave error to write long or many posts if your readers don’t have time to read them. You make your readers snooze, you lose.

5. Adding images to posts amuses me, makes me laugh, makes a point, or just makes me happy. Hopefully they resonate with others.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

6. Sometimes readers won’t get what you’re saying or don’t agree. Sometimes your jokes fall flat. Maybe they haven’t read the same books, watched the same movies or TV shows…Some are trolls, actively dislike you, perhaps even use your Gravatar at which to throw darts – the internet is built on people being offended, appalled, shocked, and downright grumpy. Just do what you do.

7. How can you expect people to have a deep relationship with a shallow person? Be real, write your own stuff, if that makes people think, learn, laugh, smile, cry, or even spit their coffee out…they’ll want to read more.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

8. Like it or not, successful blogging has a degree of popularity. Let’s jump back to vampires, they depend on brooding, pouting, sparkling, hotness, intensity, and overacting with a penchant for black clothes, especially black leather, but blogging can’t all be about flash and no substance.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

9. Get out there, enjoy other blogs, find those messages in bottles and answer them, don’t be timid about liking, sharing or commenting – let others know you’re out there. Make them feel like they’re not alone in being alone.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

10. Most of you are part of a large, sprawling, at times dysfunctional, human race family, so you’ll be part of the blogging family. Like vampires, family can sometimes be a pain in the neck, but still we hunger for the connection.

11. When the unexpected or unwanted happens, say, your computer breaks, you have a dental emergency, you can’t get a song by The Police out of your head; out of town company; Fibroflare; anxiety about a coming event; a sinus infection and the list goes on…um, write a blogging advice post?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

12. Wow, that advice is bloody awesome…or terrible, depending on your point of view. Forget all of it, just do whatever feels right to you.

And I hope that someone gets your…I hope that someone gets your message in a bottle. Here’s mine.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Doctor Who, Fibromyalgia, Internet, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

To Blog or Not To Blog

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny452I have always been me and despite many attempts to make me not me, I still seem to manage to be me.

That’s not always a good thing.

Read some of my stuff, comment, critique, praise, ignore, puzzle, or just do whatever you want.

That’s my blog bio…everything else you’ll learn in my posts or you don’t care.

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Every time I think I understand, even vaguely, how the world works, it tilts on its axis, spinning me right round, baby right round, like a record. Turns out, the blogging world is no different. Like everyone else on the planet (that might be a slight exaggeration, overstatement was never my strong suit), I have a blog. If I had a cat it would have a blog about sleeping, eating, and occasionally chasing a mouse lurking around the property. The mouse would have a blog about his adventures trying to escape the cat that bothers him while he’s trying to lurk around the property. And so on.

August 2013,  I started this blog to relax, to practice writing, and to be more concise, with varying degrees of success. My Very Me-ness doesn’t always translate well, but no need to worry (hear that brain, no need to worry…forget it, it’s not listening), I’ve been embraced by readers, bloggers, etc. and I feel snug as a bug in a virtual rug.

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Blogging has been difficult in many ways, but has made me fall in love with writing again, which guided me to start a year-long project to add even more happiness (Or contentment? Peace of mind?) to my life.

I more or less doubled my 7 goals in my first week https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/, even giving up 4 TV shows, but then I added 2, drum roll please, ok, I really only gave up 2 (math rules!).

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This week’s goals:
1. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and play a game with my son (I want chess, he wants Pokémon, maybe we need a Pokémon chess set).
2. Remove 100 calories per day (No cheating, it can’t be veggies…Step away from the cookies).
3. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and just write, doesn’t matter what.
4. Remove 15 minutes or more per day of sitting time (replace with Yoga and Tai Chi).
5. Spend 15 minutes or more per day submitting articles and manuscripts, especially knowing they might be rejected.
6. Change 15 minutes of internet time to relaxation and rest.
7. Give away, use, or get rid of 1 or more items a day.

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1funny433Blogging myths busted and wisdom learned:

1. Blogging is solitary. Wrong. Blogging, my friends, is social and addictive, like sugar, and as the song by Maroon 5 says (I’ve tried to get it out of my head, believe me), I need a little sweetness in my life, your sugar, yes, please!

2.You need to have something to say to have a blog. How snotty and daft was that assumption? Everyone has something to say.

3. Blogging is simple. Wrong again, complicated, yet worth it, despite the intricacies that sometimes make you feel like your head might explode. Mistakes have been made and more shall be made; it’s all part of learning.

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4. Success! I thought I needed to be a world-famous writer, then I saw comments that said I’d made people laugh, smile, and think. Anything else that comes along would be the icing on this delicious, chocolatey cake of a blog experience thanks to you, dear readers.

5. Blogging is constant. Wrong. As with life, the only thing you can count on in blogging is change.
For example, I believe the WordPress motto is: If it ain’t broke, fix it a few times a day.
Twitter seems to have a midlife crisis every few weeks and I don’t know what happened to Facebook.
There are: trolls, traffic, topics, taboos, privacy issues, time, concentration…what was I saying? Oh yes, so the question today is, to blog or not to blog?
For now, the answer is…why not?

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Posted in Books, Family, Fibromyalgia, Movies, Parenting, Uncategorized

Don’t You Forget About Me

Posted on by D. Parker

1alice18We all forget things.

  • We’ve all forgotten where we put our car or house keys.

  • Who hasn’t walked into a room and forgotten why?

  • Been speaking when the word you want goes missing, you know it’s there, you grope around in your mind, finding other words that might work in it’s place, but the word you wanted is gone.

  • I’m forever putting things ‘where I know they’ll be’ then fairies spirit them away, only to be found later in a totally illogical spot. Those fairies.

Forgetting is normal. Our minds are full. Overfull. We’re stressed or tired.

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What if it isn’t just that?
1alice8What if forgetting is a symptom?
I made the mistake/best choice to watch Still Alice, based on the stunning novel by Lisa Genova about a 50-year-old Linguistics professor who learns she has early onset Alzheimer’s. I hadn’t been quite prepared for the visceral punch of watching a woman close to my age lose her mind and herself.
How can your thoughts, memories, love, dreams, the essence of who you are all be ripped from you, not by some invading army, some natural disaster, but by your own brain?

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How could we lose: Our Dad’s laugh. Mom’s wisdom. Joking with siblings. Husbands. Wives. Friends. The smell of our children as babies. The feel of loved ones in our arms. Our first date, first kiss, first job. Or our best date, best kiss, best job? I can’t even begin to imagine staring at pictures of family and friends and not knowing who they are.
Our knowledge and memories so greedily gathered over the years, erased as though they never happened.
Losing who we are, even before we’re gone.

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In the movie, Alice (played the exquisitely talented Julianne Moore) quotes Elizabeth Bishop’s poem, One Art, sad and famous words,
“The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.”
As a person with Fibromyalgia I’ve long appreciated and hated those words. For those who live with illness every day the art of losing isn’t hard to master, it becomes more of a science. You learn to manage, modify, accommodate, cope, compromise, let things go, adjust, re-adjust and always adjust your expectations – there’s a trick to life, except you’re not always sure it isn’t being played on you.

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At times we all want to forget. Forget pain. Forget sorrow. Forget humiliation. Forget betrayal. Forget loss. The seductive lure of forgetting makes us forget that remembering is a gift, one that should never be wished away.

I won’t recommend this film. Not because it wasn’t wonderful, it was.

I won’t urge you to watch this film. Instead watch the news, so full of ISIS, FIFA, elections that are months or even years away, what celebrities are wearing, eating, doing, it’s all sooooo important, we really should be paying close attention.

Don’t worry about Alzheimer’s, cancer, MS, heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, asthma, and all the other illness that take our loved ones.

Don’t watch this movie, there wasn’t any sex, violence, special effects, car chases, CGI, superheroes. It’s only about change, dignity, character, and highlights that things we too often think matter, you know, little things, petty things, stupid things, don’t matter at all.

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Posted in Books, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Movies, Music, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

Come To The Dark Side, We Have Cookies

Posted on by D. Parker

14th4“They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes.”
Princess Leia Organa of Aldaraan, Senator

This is one of my favourite quotes from Star Wars, though it was never used in the movies. I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve been in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if one believes in fate, perhaps I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Each day is filled with choices, decisions, some huge, life-changing and others little, although who knows, they might be life changing as well.

Today is May the 4th, some may know it as Intergalactic Star Wars Day. For some, that’s everyday.
Nerds greet each other with, May the 4th Be With You. Posts, memes, parties, hash tags, sales, and news stories converge, in greater numbers.
Although this May 4th, the news is more about Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana than Princess Leia.14th21
Tomorrow, to a lesser degree with Revenge of the Fifth, although I think Revenge of the Sixth makes more sense. Is that a thing?

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An old nemesis has descended upon me this May the 4th – my Darth Vader, my Boba Fett, Jabba the Hut (probably rather have Pizza the Hut), Rancor (although it smells better), Greedo, or Count Dooku –  I’ve loosely titled it, Stars Wars VIII: Return of the Back Pain. Luckily it doesn’t hurt as much when I sit…and if I go over to The Dark Side, I hear they have cookies.
I think I know what brought it on, an unusual activity (not nearly as exciting as it sounds).

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It also brings back horrible memories of the car accident where the pain originated and I’m left to watch my back, like the aptly titled book, Watch Your Back! by Richard A. Deyo MD (Cornell University Press). I read this last time my back pain flared, hoping for some answers. It left me with more questions as it’s straightforward information shone a light on The Dark Side of the medical profession which offers people less and less, for more and more.

We don’t like to think that our pain is a business, but it’s big business.
This book won’t be popular, it points out that the medical profession, like politics and other systems, to paraphrase George Lucas, is like a great tree, able to withstand any external force, but rots from within. The lure of money, power, and prestige can overcome common sense and decency.
I understand the temptation of the magic fix, but realistically I know I have to do most of the figurative heavy lifting.
As patients we should be pushing for more treatments that are sensible, empowering, and give effective, long-term results for moderate costs.14th20

I’m used to being in constant pain with Fibromyalgia, it waxes and wanes, but never actually ceases, but in a strange way pain can also be freeing. You see past the Jedi mind tricks or I guess more like Sith mind tricks…you see the truth.1starwars15

What about you, dear readers, do you ever see The Dark Side of people when they think they can’t get anything from you?

Do you also see the power of The Force of goodness when some people like you just the way you are?
The latter is what I choose to believe in.

May the Fourth be with you.

Posted in Autism, Awards, Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

March Madness Spring Fling Blog Party

Posted on by D. Parker

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Depending on where you are, this week is:
Spring Break, March Break, March Madness, Spring Equinox, St. Patrick’s Day or maybe it’s just March.

So for our own form of March Madness, a Spring Fling to get us in the mood, let’s have a Blog Party!!!
Please use the comment box below to tell other bloggers about your blog –
don’t forget to include your blog link!
Tell us something about yourself and/or your blog
and share it so other bloggers will find out about you and everyone else!

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I started this blog for relaxation (although sometimes, especially when WordPress makes changes, relaxation is not the word I use), but now, over 500 posts later, I look at my followers and views with wonder.
As a single mom with Fibromyalgia, raising a child with Autism and other health concerns, relaxation is important because most days I feel like Wile E. Coyote with his tiny umbrella.

I’ve learned a lot, but the best part has been my dear readers.
You make it all worth while.
Finding each other in this giant virtual haystack is astonishing and awesome.
I’d hoped it would also lead to fame and fortune; that part hasn’t panned out, but who knows?
Till then, still broke and just a tad less obscure.1thanks6I’m thankful for all the awards I’ve received, but narrowing down other nominees has become too challenging as I find more and more astonishing bloggers whose insights thrill, stories chill, make me cry, laugh, smile, remember, make me think, wonder, and dream.
I love that you think of me, but my time and energy are limited so I’ll use them by responding to your comments and leaving some on your blogs, Tweeting, Retweeting, and sharing your posts.

I’d like to thank some of my most stalwart supporters, those of you who follow, take the time to press the Like button; who humble me by reblogging; Tweet and Retweet, share on Facebook, Google+, Reddit, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr and more. I find myself looking forward to your posts, comments, insights, loving your stories, glowing…
I just want to soak them all up.1bean2

So join me here, it’s easy to Follow via email or WordPress
and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada

Twitter @yadadarcyyada for some Hashtag parties:
Sundays: #SundayBlogShare @suzie81blog
Mondays: #MondayBlogs @MondayBlogs
Wednesdays: #wwwblogs (Women Writer Wednesdays),
and #BeWoW (Be Wonderful posts on Wednesdays @RonovanWrites)
Saturdays: #ArchiveDay
Any day with compassion: #1000Speak @1000Speak
Weekends: #WeekendBlogHop @WeekendBlogHop
Excellent ways to find posts and bloggers.

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1athank5So thank you all for a memorable time here on this big bouncy web.
Please don’t leave without sharing your blog link and info below,
so other bloggers can find you
and you can find other bloggers.

Keep checking back, who knows how long this party will last?

Posted in Books, Cats, Fibromyalgia, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

Next Time, You Bring The Cookies

Posted on by D. Parker

1fibro5My brain is often at war with my body.
I want to do more. More! More! Yes, on days like this my brain sounds like a strange combination of yearning romance novel heroine and petulant child.
Such is the hidden world of Fibromyalgia.

My body dragged itself out of bed to start another day. Not really sure why I have a bed sometimes, but at least it’s there for rest and decoration. I also once again failed to get the license number of the Mack Truck that hit me while I was sleeping.
With FMS another day means more pain, fatigue, frustration, disappointment, doubters and just more of less.

I don’t expect anyone who doesn’t live with Fibromyalgia to understand it. I don’t have cancer, that doesn’t mean I can’t have empathy and understanding for those that do. Or ALS, MS, CP, Diabetes, Autism, depression, heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s, etc.
Doesn’t mean I can’t understand a man because I’m not a man.
Or the rich because I’m not rich.
As human beings we have a wealth of empathy, understanding, and compassion available to us at any time.

I get some people think Fibromyalgia is made up by lazy or unmotivated people. Ok, why do doctors and other professionals go along with it, what’s in it for them? They have more than enough patients, unfortunately cancer alone keeps them pretty busy.

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1sm27So it hasn’t been my day, my week, my month, or even my year, but I do know that laughter is truly the best medicine so I thought today was a good day to review Conversations with Steve Martin edited by Robert E. Kapsis (University Press of Mississippi). Thank you Netgalley.com for letting me borrow this ARC copy, available in stores early September 2014.

I’ve already had many conversations with Mr. Martin in the last 35 years – usually he’s wearing an arrow through his head or bunny ears, or a balloon hat, playing his banjo, getting Happy Feet, dressed in a King Tut outfit, and/or eating tiny chocolate cookies while juggling small cats. No cats were harmed in my fantasy conversations with Steve Martin.

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Conversations with Steve Martin highlights Martin‘s contributions not only as a comedian, but as a writer, musician, artist, and free-thinker through a series of interviews and profiles. It’s sort of a living eulogy of Martin’s rollercoaster career over the past 4 decades.

Steve Martin has thrilled and disappointed audiences for decades with his ever-changing style, from eccentric, incongruous, and wacky to mature to sinister to bizarre to mellow.

As much as I’ve 1sm20enjoyed some of his later work, I sometimes miss the wild and crazy guy, the Cruel Shoes, King Tut, Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, The Jerk, The Man With Two Brains https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/27/the-man-with-two-brains/ and more.
That being said, I’m so glad he moved on and didn’t get stuck.

If you’re a Steve Martin fan this latest book is ubercool, if you’re not, well, excuuuuuuuse me!

You can read, watch or have pretend conversations with Steve Martin or maybe really pretend 140 characters or less magical moments on Twitter @SteveMartinToGo

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Carl Reiner may have said it best, “His strength, as an actor, I’ve found, is his beautiful body,” Carl Reiner said jokingly. “His weakness is too much hair on his body.”

Laughter may not fix all the world’s problems, but it sure does know how to make them seem less dire.

I think tonight will be a Steve Martin movie night.

Thank you Mr. Martin for another lovely conversation, next time, you bring the cookies.

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Posted in Autism, Books, Christmas, Cooking, Environment, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Holidays, Internet, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Parenting, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Weight, Zombies

My 1 Year Blogaversary!

Posted on by D. Parker

1birthday10August 8, 2013 wow, that seems like a lifetime ago.

That blog post was, Fibromyalgia is a  Four Letter Word (it still is).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/

Since then I’ve made a lot of mistakes, did I say a lot I meant a ton, or perhaps a tad more; probably said a lot of things people don’t agree with; and had some wanting-to-pull-my-hair-out moments, no worries, it’s still there, more or less.

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I’ve learned a lot. Had some revelations about people I thought would be supportive, turns they weren’t, and still aren’t.

I’ll take it as a life lesson.

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Plenty more people have been extremely supportive.
Thank you to family and friends, those who have pressed like, or shared, or reblogged, or followed, or subscribed, tweeted and retweeted, given me awards, or a combination. It means more than you’ll ever know, really.

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I have 1birthday6‘virtually’ met some awesome people who are kind, supportive, funny, helpful, generous, hopeful, caring, and have mind-blowing things to say and they share it. Thank you.

This year has opened up new portals for me.

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I’m reading books I might never have read, learned things I didn’t know my brain could learn, but most of all it’s given me hope that maybe I can be more, it’s given me a glimpse of me, a me that I sometimes fear is gone forever.

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So please join me for this virtual celebration of my 1st Blogaversary or Blogversary or maybe it’s a blogbirthday!

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Drop by and say hi, read some of my older posts, apparently there are like 450 of them, hey, I did warn you with the tagline, Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure.

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Have a slice of virtual cake, wear a silly hat and join me for another year of who knows what!!!

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Posted in Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

F is For Fibromyalgia

Posted on by D. Parker

There is nothing in this world like someone who believes in you, who’s there for you and who understands maybe you’re not always 100%, but you’re doing you’re best. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, a co-worker, a social networking friend…hopefully you can be there for them too.

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Illness is frustrating. In the case of Fibromyalgia the symptoms are numerous and strange, but people’s reactions to it are even stranger.

1. The Doubters    They doubt you have it, many doubt it even exists. Some tell you outright, others say things like, you look good with an arched brow or you don’t look sick. Or the classics like: everyone gets tired…you are getting older…Snap out of it…and the ultimate, there are people much worse off than you. Thanks, it makes me feel so much better to know there are people suffering, cheers me right up. Huh?

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2. The ItsGoners     If you don’t look like you’re on Death’s door they decide you’re fine. If they see you and you don’t look good or are having a flare or mention you’re not feeling well, they say things like you looked good last time I saw you so I thought you were better. It’s not a cold, it doesn’t just good away (I wish).

3. The TryHarders    These folks love to fix everything by giving you a rousing lecture on what you could be doing (as if you haven’t tried everything short of a Witch Doctor or alien crystals) or explaining what you’re doing wrong. Always good to get advice from someone who has no idea what they’re talking about. Maybe if you go out more…I thought you were stronger than that…pull yourself together…fibromyalgia16

4. The Renouncers     They just completely ignore that you’re ill or even ignore you. You get no empathy or support, just stories of their busy life, or their difficult life, etc. Even when you try to do something they’re never there to support you, but they sure get upset if you’re not there to support them.

5. The Carers   A rare breed. They have empathy for your illness, not sympathy. They realize that you’re doing your best and are there for you in the way you need.

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Pick an illness, or a life challenge, hopefully you have some #5s in your life and hope you can be a #5 to someone else.

Posted in Autism, Fibromyalgia, sleep, Uncategorized

Is Fibromyalgia Just Another Word For Lazy?

Posted on by D. Parker

You’re lazy. You’re a whiner. You’re attention seeking. It’s all in your head.  Fibromyalgia is just another word for lazy. Feel free to add more. I’ve heard them all. Image

Let me get this straight, the medical profession conspired and effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people. Sounds perfectly reasonable. It’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. And what exactly would their motivation be? Why would they make up an illness? Aren’t there enough illnesses? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.

There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues.

Does that mean they don’t exist? Does that mean the people that have these issues don’t suffer, don’t feel, don’t actually have these medical challenges? Image

People like to mock. I get that. I’d guess those same people would want doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that future booming business.

I didn’t ask to be ill and I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect?

Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.

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Posted in Autism, Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Fibromyalgia is a Four Letter Word

Posted on by D. Parker

This isn’t a whiny post (at least I’ll try, no promises), or a ‘it can be fixed blog’, or whatever. Just a few thoughts about why people think Fibromyalgia isn’t a real syndrome, that it’s just lazy, unmotivated people and mostly, why I don’t have all the answers.

 

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Let’s begin at the end, I don’t have all the answers because I don’t sleep enough.  Also, I’m not a million years old.  In addition, I’m certainly not a super genius.  Oh, did I mention I don’t sleep enough?

People prefer to think people with disorders such as Fibromyalgia are lazy because they don’t want to accept that you could wake up one morning and have something like that or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Lyme Disease and so on.

Instead of doing the whole there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I thing, many people just decide that people with these illnesses could do better if they just got up and did something, or they just aren’t motivated, or they’re lazy, or they’re not trying.

It’s easier to believe that than believe someone who was full of energy and often an A Type Personality can suddenly be fatigued, full of pain, insomnia, frustrated, sad, have massive struggles to function, and so on.

fhfif4Therefore, Fibro becomes a joke, a stain, a dirty word because otherwise people would have to accept the reality that people get sick.  They get chronic illnesses, they get terminal illnesses, and they live a life of agony and sometimes, they die.

It’s people saying someone with cancer should fight the cancer as though that will fix everything.  I wonder if people ever thought of how that makes people feel when you’ve lost a loved one to cancer?  Oh, so my loved one just didn’t fight hard enough, well, thanks, that makes me feel so much better.

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The same goes for those who’ve lost a loved one to suicide. I’m sure they feel horrible enough without others implying their loved ones gave up, chose to leave, or just didn’t fight hard enough.  Yes, poking a toothpick at a dragon works so well.

I don’t live in someones head so I can’t say if they tried, if they fought, or if they chose, but neither does anyone else so why are so many people qualified to make these judgmental statements?

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Instead of mocking someone with an illness, try having empathy for him or her.  I’m sure there are some pitiable individuals who would prefer to be ill than well, but come on, does anyone seriously believe that’s a majority?  Most people would choose to be well. 

Most people would choose to have a full life, a life free of pain.  Most people would choose to beat cancer. Hell, most people would choose not to get cancer at all.  Most people would choose not to have a mental illness.  If there was a choice involved.

People are finally coming around to the belief that people who lead a homosexual lifestyle didn’t chose to be that way, it’s just the way they are. It has taken a long time and there are still haters out there, but I bet so many people are happy to see a light at the end of that rainbow.

asgoodas5I wonder when that day will come for people with chronic illnesses like Fibromyalgia, or people with mental health issues, or people with Autism, etc.  I wonder if or when people will see them, really see them, for who they really are:  your Mom, your child, your sister, your friend, your co-worker, your Dad, your teacher, your brother, your minister, your neighbour – just people.

Don’t judge people.

Have a little empathy.

Those people might be interesting, or fun, or brilliant, a hope for the future, a good friend, but you’d never know because you made assumptions.

Don’t miss out.