This isn’t a whiny post (at least I’ll try, no promises), or a ‘it can be fixed blog’, or whatever. Just a few thoughts about why people think Fibromyalgia isn’t a real syndrome, that it’s just lazy, unmotivated people and mostly, why I don’t have all the answers.
Let’s begin at the end, I don’t have all the answers because I don’t sleep enough. Also, I’m not a million years old. In addition, I’m certainly not a super genius. Oh, did I mention I don’t sleep enough?
People prefer to think people with disorders such as Fibromyalgia are lazy because they don’t want to accept that you could wake up one morning and have something like that or ChronicFatigue Syndrome or Lyme Disease and so on.
Instead of doing the whole there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I thing, many people just decide that people with these illnesses could do better if they just got up and did something, or they just aren’t motivated, or they’re lazy, or they’re not trying.
It’s easier to believe that than believe someone who was full of energy and often an A Type Personality can suddenly be fatigued, full of pain, insomnia, frustrated, sad, have massive struggles to function, and so on.
Therefore, Fibro becomes a joke, a stain, a dirty word because otherwise people would have to accept the reality that people get sick. They get chronic illnesses, they get terminal illnesses, and they live a life of agony and sometimes, they die.
It’s people saying someone with cancer should fight the cancer as though that will fix everything. I wonder if people ever thought of how that makes people feel when you’ve lost a loved one to cancer? Oh, so my loved one just didn’t fight hard enough, well, thanks, that makes me feel so much better.
The same goes for those who’ve lost a loved one to suicide. I’m sure they feel horrible enough without others implying their loved ones gave up, chose to leave, or just didn’t fight hard enough. Yes, poking a toothpick at a dragon works so well.
I don’t live in someones head so I can’t say if they tried, if they fought, or if they chose, but neither does anyone else so why are so many people qualified to make these judgmental statements?
Instead of mocking someone with an illness, try having empathy for him or her. I’m sure there are some pitiable individuals who would prefer to be ill than well, but come on, does anyone seriously believe that’s a majority? Most people would choose to be well.
Most people would choose to have a full life, a life free of pain. Most people would choose to beat cancer. Hell, most people would choose not to get cancer at all. Most people would choose not to have a mental illness. If there was a choice involved.
People are finally coming around to the belief that people who lead a homosexual lifestyle didn’t chose to be that way, it’s just the way they are. It has taken a long time and there are still haters out there, but I bet so many people are happy to see a light at the end of that rainbow.
I wonder when that day will come for people with chronic illnesses like Fibromyalgia, or people with mental health issues, or people with Autism, etc. I wonder if or when people will see them, really see them, for who they really are: your Mom, your child, your sister, your friend, your co-worker, your Dad, your teacher, your brother, your minister, your neighbour – just people.
Don’t judge people.
Have a little empathy.
Those people might be interesting, or fun, or brilliant, a hope for the future, a good friend, but you’d never know because you made assumptions.