Posted in Canada, Family, Food, Movies, Music, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

10 Ways To Be Grateful Even On Bad Days

1grateful1Life is full of good things and bad things.

Sometimes good things go bad.

Sometimes bad things go good.

Sometimes a bit of both.

The good stuff doesn’t always make the bad stuff easier to take, but the bad stuff doesn’t always ruin the good stuff either.

We should try to be grateful for the good stuff, especially when there’s bad stuff.

We Could Be Grateful For:

1. Family and friends. The memory of family and friends. The possibility of family and friends.

2. Knowledge, free will, and finding respectful ways to agree to disagree.

3. Enjoying what you have, instead of always thinking about what you want.

4. Remembering both the good times and the bad – and not living in either.

5. Enjoying the everyday things. Life isn’t about the big moments.

1yadadarcyyada8

6. Finding happiness, peace, or contentment, especially by making others happy, peace-filled, or contented.

7. Life and knowing that most people know it’s worth.

8. Being you. Don’t compare yourself to others.

9. Bad times, so you can appreciate the good times.

10. Giving – stuff, time, comfort, inspiration, hope, information…you.

1yadadarcyyada5

Terror, in many forms has wormed it’s way into our lives, not just with violence, but with weapons such as: fear, rudeness, abuse, inequality, neglect, distractions, complacency, disrespect, self-righteousness, ignorance, intolerance, lying, scandal, gossip, corruption, manipulation, dogma, bullying, blame, and all those ‘gotcha’ moments.

We can change. Some will say we can’t, or worse, that’s just the way it is. Expect change. Be that change.

1yadadarcyyada12

People can disagree, debate, wrangle, bicker, even argue, hopefully respectfully.
There’s also no need to agree, you have the right to disagree, again, respectfully.
Attacking anyone, verbally or physically, for their beliefs is pointless.
We can’t overcome hate with hate.
We can’t win by fighting.

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Even if you feel hate, choose love or at least, forgiveness.

Even if you feel indifference, choose compassion.

Especially if you feel despair, choose hope.

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I worry being ‘shocked’ every time something terrible happens, posting platitudes, changing profile pictures, holding vigils, leaving tokens, decrying the monsters, and placing blame gives the illusion of doing something when really, it’s mostly shopping, social media, socializing, and symbolism.

Wouldn’t it be more comforting to help those in need? To donate food, clothing, money for shelter and medical care instead of making piles of flowers, candles, stuffed animals, and flags that will just become garbage? I don’t understand, if we want to show respect why not help those who are still alive and suffering?

We need to find out how to change what’s happening, or brace ourselves for more of the same, or worse. The first rule of holes, when you’re in one, stop digging, and try to find a way out.

What’s coming will come, so instead of focusing on those who do harm, who spread fear and hate, let’s be grateful for those who help, who protect – those who do good in this world. They deserve our focus, not just after a tragedy, or crisis, or disaster, but all the time.

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My heart goes out to the family and friends of those who have lost loved ones, death is tragic, no matter the circumstances…and to anyone suffering, everywhere.

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Posted in Autism, Blogs, Doctor Who, Family, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

Take your time, hurry up

1me16

Last night, as I checked on my beautiful boy, now so grown up, I noted again that time has raced by yet he still looks like my baby when he’s asleep.

Having a child with Autism, those sleep times give you some much-needed downtime and perhaps, a curious understanding of time and dimension, hmm, or maybe that’s too many years of Doctor Who.

In this frenzied world, we need more compassion, appreciation, and hope; less rushing, lies, and bullying. Maybe we don’t have time to stop and smell the roses, but I hope we can at least notice the roses are there.

  • The best time to take a deep breath is when there’s no time. At the end of your life, I doubt you’ll look back and think, thank goodness I spent my life like a hamster on a wheel, that was sooo fulfilling.

  •  Stop flogging yourself for mistakes. They happen. Learn from them. So you write or say the wrong thing. Fall in love with the wrong person. Press the wrong button and start a nuclear war, ok, that example is pretty much the worst mistake ever, try not to do that one. Time moves forward for a reason, so should you.

  • 1me10I think you can be happy with or without money. Money just makes life easier, not always better. Stop trying to buy your way to happiness or keep up with the Kardashians. If you’re coveting someone else’s stuff, you’re not focusing on you and those you love. You can’t be happy doing that.

  • Don’t get into friendships or relationships (or stay in them) for the wrong reasons. Do you really loathe your own company that much?1me11

  • Don’t reject someone because you’ve had a bad experience either. That experience taught you something, it had a purpose.

  • Fall apart once in a while. You’re not always “fine”. Sometimes it’s fine not to be fine.

  • Worry is passive and self-indulgent; you’re not enjoying that moment and not letting others enjoy it either.marxbros5

  • Trying to be someone you’re not is like trying to hide a dinosaur in your bedroom, it’s too big, smelly, messy, and extinct. Why be someone else, they’re already doing it.

  • Holding grudges or hating people is a toxic waste of time and energy. Forgiveness isn’t agreeing, you’re just not going to let it poison you or those around you. That includes forgiving yourself too!1me13

  • If we have time to shop, play games, check the internet, go on vacation, go out to dinner, we can spare 5 minutes to vote. An hour to volunteer or help someone. We can’t make a difference if we don’t at least try.

  • Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, think about what you do want to happen.

  • Those who love you don’t need you to explain yourself and pretenders, bullies, or enemies, they’ll believe what they want to believe.1funny103

Posted in Family, Uncategorized

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

1age16

The worst part
 about growing old,
surprisingly,
isn’t:
Wrinkles – although watching your face
become a road map to your final destination isn’t pleasant;
Creaking joints/aches and pains –
maybe shouldn’t have done that.
Learning more than you ever wanted
to learn about some people – sigh.
Losing your nouns, keys, and even memories –
although, frustrating.
The worst part is loss.
Some experience loss early and often through life,1funny65
others face the inevitable and unenviable state of loss
through time.

After losing someone you start thinking about your life
and like most people, I have some regrets.

I regret not seeing a friend was really an enemy
And an enemy was really a friend
I regret harsh words spoken
Cuts that will never mend
I regret not doing what I wanted to do
And doing what I did not want
I regret not being stronger
For being frail when I should have fought
I regret worrying about little things
That only mattered in my head
I regret thinking I knew it all
Using sarcasm to cover pain
I regret turning away from love found
Not recognizing love given
Doing too much
Doing too little
But these are backwards
And do not overwhelm
The smiles I was given
The smiles I received
The love that I treasure
Compassion given
And accepted
Hope lost and recovered
Happiness collected
All invaluable1age14

Posted in Canada, Family, Internet, Political, Uncategorized

Compassion Never Goes Out of Style

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/


When you rise
you should
bring others with you;
when you descend,
invite no one else along.

Sometimes you will hate.
Choose love.
Sometimes you will be indifferent.
Choose compassion.
Sometimes you will despair.
Choose hope.

Was there always so much anger in the world or does the internet just give it a longer reach?

I guess there were always bullies, meanies, thugs, just generally, nasties.

Maybe there were cave people who told other cave people they were terrible at cave drawings.

But the vitriol online? Treating others as you would want to be treated hasn’t changed because of the anonymity of the internet.

The internet can bring people together, to help, to spread information, but it also has a sinister side where people abuse, use, and destroy others, sometimes for sport.

There are too many Human Tornados – charming and convincing, they cut a path of destruction wherever they go. They blow into people’s lives, wreak havoc, then move on, often pretending they’re the victim. Some of them sure are brilliant, at being cruel.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/Do they’re know what they’re doing?
How much they’re hurting others?
The damage they do?
Is it lashing out?
Are they so dissociated from their feelings?
Or so narcissistic that they can’t see past their own feelings?
As you can see, I have more questions than answers.

Social media fights have become notorious – they’ve lead to lawsuits, divorces, estrangement, even death and yet, they rage on.
Venom spewed toward the living, the deceased. Anyone and anything is fair game.
Just because they can.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/Strong, confident people don’t have to judge, or tear others down.

All that time and energy wasted, caring about who others love, what they wear, their weight, their income, what they drive or where they live, who they know, what race or religion they are, lifestyle choices, etc.

Instead of attacking – discuss, ignore, show compassion, or see things from another point of view.

Being wealthy, famous, powerful or on the internet are not character references. Character is what you do, not who you are. It’s what you do when no one can see what you’re doing. Or who you are. Or when you don’t get anything for doing it.

Compassion never goes out of style.

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Internet, Uncategorized

Compassion is the New Extremism

1funny55
Each new day, no matter what it brings, I try to face with grace. I’m not always successful. Hopefully I’ll get another chance.

Things creep into your life or leap in, snarling and tearing, either way, they can beat you down so hard you wonder how you will ever get back up…then eventually, you’ll notice you’re standing again.

Those you love will hurt and you can’t always help, but you can always love them.  

People, even good people get lost, if you can, help them find their way. Hopefully, someone will do the same for you.

There will be prejudice and you will think it unfair. It is. Have the courage to denounce it.

You will lose those you love, for many reasons, but you’ll never lose that you loved them.

Kindness can have costs, but you’ll be paid back over and over again.1kindness2Love can hurt, but you’ll keep loving and will want to love again, despite the pain.

If you see someone fall, literally or figuratively, extending a hand feels better than pointing a finger.

There will be dark times, but find people and things that help you through the darkness, not descend into the darkness.
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When another day ends, remember the good, try to understand the bad, be grateful and know that, maybe, just maybe you can try again tomorrow.

On February 20, 2015, the internet is going to be filled with a different form of extremism, compassion. I hope you can join, with a post, a quote, a Tweet, status update, video, photo that means compassion to you…or visit.  I’m not a fan of Slacktivism, but I think we need to remember that compassion, kindness, and hope are better than intolerance, hate, and fear.  #1000Speak

Posted in Autism, Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Fibromyalgia is a Four Letter Word

This isn’t a whiny post (at least I’ll try, no promises), or a ‘it can be fixed blog’, or whatever. Just a few thoughts about why people think Fibromyalgia isn’t a real syndrome, that it’s just lazy, unmotivated people and mostly, why I don’t have all the answers.

 

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Let’s begin at the end, I don’t have all the answers because I don’t sleep enough.  Also, I’m not a million years old.  In addition, I’m certainly not a super genius.  Oh, did I mention I don’t sleep enough?

People prefer to think people with disorders such as Fibromyalgia are lazy because they don’t want to accept that you could wake up one morning and have something like that or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Lyme Disease and so on.

Instead of doing the whole there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I thing, many people just decide that people with these illnesses could do better if they just got up and did something, or they just aren’t motivated, or they’re lazy, or they’re not trying.

It’s easier to believe that than believe someone who was full of energy and often an A Type Personality can suddenly be fatigued, full of pain, insomnia, frustrated, sad, have massive struggles to function, and so on.

fhfif4Therefore, Fibro becomes a joke, a stain, a dirty word because otherwise people would have to accept the reality that people get sick.  They get chronic illnesses, they get terminal illnesses, and they live a life of agony and sometimes, they die.

It’s people saying someone with cancer should fight the cancer as though that will fix everything.  I wonder if people ever thought of how that makes people feel when you’ve lost a loved one to cancer?  Oh, so my loved one just didn’t fight hard enough, well, thanks, that makes me feel so much better.

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The same goes for those who’ve lost a loved one to suicide. I’m sure they feel horrible enough without others implying their loved ones gave up, chose to leave, or just didn’t fight hard enough.  Yes, poking a toothpick at a dragon works so well.

I don’t live in someones head so I can’t say if they tried, if they fought, or if they chose, but neither does anyone else so why are so many people qualified to make these judgmental statements?

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Instead of mocking someone with an illness, try having empathy for him or her.  I’m sure there are some pitiable individuals who would prefer to be ill than well, but come on, does anyone seriously believe that’s a majority?  Most people would choose to be well. 

Most people would choose to have a full life, a life free of pain.  Most people would choose to beat cancer. Hell, most people would choose not to get cancer at all.  Most people would choose not to have a mental illness.  If there was a choice involved.

People are finally coming around to the belief that people who lead a homosexual lifestyle didn’t chose to be that way, it’s just the way they are. It has taken a long time and there are still haters out there, but I bet so many people are happy to see a light at the end of that rainbow.

asgoodas5I wonder when that day will come for people with chronic illnesses like Fibromyalgia, or people with mental health issues, or people with Autism, etc.  I wonder if or when people will see them, really see them, for who they really are:  your Mom, your child, your sister, your friend, your co-worker, your Dad, your teacher, your brother, your minister, your neighbour – just people.

Don’t judge people.

Have a little empathy.

Those people might be interesting, or fun, or brilliant, a hope for the future, a good friend, but you’d never know because you made assumptions.

Don’t miss out.