Tag: Zombies

Posted in halloween, kindness, Movies, Televison

Sweet Screams (Are Made of This)

Posted on by D. Parker

Sweet screams (are made of this)
Who am I to disagree?

I’ve been dying to have you here, near, dear…
(Mwahahahaha!)
When the moon climbs high o’r the dead oak tree,
spooks awake for the midnight (online shopping?) spree.
Creepy creeps (creepin’ it real) with eerie eyes,
start to shriek and order creep potato fries (terrorfrying!).
Grim Grinning Ghosts, come out to socialize
(6 feet under distanced).
Why close your eyes and try to hide?
Let a silly spook become your guide.
Welcome, foolish mortals!
(Mwhahahahahaha!) 

Maybe it was witchful thinking,
but I’d hoped to be further ahead
in my year-long chronic change challenge.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/09/29/what-if/ 
I’m trying, trying, trying, to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy…
the lovely Fall, going a little batty
over the cool weather, cozy sweaters,
hot chocolate, chocolate, hot apple cider,
Halloween, pumpkins, painted leaves,
ghosts, zombies, vampires, witches…
but my fevered brain (not-so-fresh brain)
is stuffed with packing and organizing…
So I’ll kill two ghouls with one stone,
watch some Hallostream tricks and treats,
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/the-more-the-scarier/


Witch is your fav screaming service, dear readers?
Is it Knifeflix? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/10/28/happy-halloween-is-that-a-knife-in-my-back-or-are-you-just-happy-to-see-me/
Or Disney Pus? Perhaps Huluween?
Apple Bobbing+? Maybe Amazon Crime? Or Grave?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/
I’ll keep Hallostreaming while I box up our lives (again)…
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/


Welcome, foolish muppets! I visited “Muppets Haunted Mansion”,  mmm, sorry, Disney, adore The Muppets but this was a less of a treat, more of a trick, especially Kermit and Fozzie’s voice work; nope. 
Then there’s “Squid Game” on Netflix.
Smart, brutal, and stylistically stunning, sorta “The Hunger Games” meets
“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, with giant robots, bad catering, lackluster wardrobe, children’s games with dire consequences, organ harvesting, and lots of geometrical shapes…and a lack of chocolate. 
A staggering allegory (with focus on the ‘gory’) 
about the disgusting divide between rich and poor
in society, all fixable with:
affordable housing, food security,
and honestly, some human decency.
Watch it in Korean with subtitles, no dubs.  
Now I really want a Spongebob Squarepants spin-off, “Squidward Game” and The Front Man has to be, David Hasselhoff (The Hoff). 

Hallostreamed some classics and maybe-someday-classics including but never limited to: “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/29/stuff-i-learned-from-its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown/ “Clue”; “The Turn of the Screw” (Michelle Dockery, Dan Stevens, Sue Johnston, yup, all from “Downton Abbey”, etc. , though I recommend other versions as well, including Netflix’s, “The Haunting of Bly Manor”, hmm, ever get the feeling Henry James didn’t like his governess?); “You”; “Halloween”; https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/; “Casper”; “The Secret of Crickley Hall” (Douglas Hensall, Tom Ellis, Maisie Williams, Suranne Jones, Olivia Cooke, David Warner, Iain De Caestecker, etc.); “The Addams Family” (original series) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/20/hide-and-shriek-with-the-addams-family/; “Lonesome Ghosts”; “The Munsters”; “Harry Prince Ghost Hunter”; “Halloweentown” (from experience I knew to avoid haunting the sequels) – mmm, cheesy goodness.


Dug up “Hocus Pocus” which originally
put a spell on you (and me) in theaters in ’93,
believe it or not, in July, no lie, why,
to capture the kidlets home from school…sigh.

The worst horror ever imagined, yet it can
be imagined, all too easily cringing
through “The Handmaid’s Tale” S4.
Oh June! Least scary part? Watched it on a free trial.

I see dead people…
mostly when I watch:
“The Walking Dead” (so far, S11 is a disappointment, especially after the brilliance of S10, but I’ll keep a wait and see attitude),
the nuclear wasteland of the dead that is now “Fear The Walking Dead” and yonder, “The Walking Dead: World Beyond”.

I never get enough of Tim Burton’s visionary,
“The Nightmare Before Christmas”, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/19/the-nightmare-before-christmas/
which for me, this year, is having to move,
again, just before Christmas…

Inflation, hyperinflation, stagflation – 
gas pumps, grocery store and terror galore! 
Forget knife-wielding serial killers,
vampires, witches and ghouls – 
look at the price of food, gas, electronics…
companies/bankers/politicians making us all fools.

October has flown by on a wonky broom,
packing so soon could spell my doom. 
Life is a fevered Halloween scream dream,
feeling less like reality and more like a bad meme.
I turn off my brain (ha, good luck), with the lights
to thankfully welcome the darkness of Autumn nights.Hoping November offers some reprieve
and help me make it to moving eve…
and the morning after, less of a disaster!?!
Eat, drink and be scary this Halloween and you know, kill ’em with kindness…and laughter!

Advertisement
Posted in Chocolate, halloween

My Big Fat Supernatural Life

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/I’m haunted.
Maybe haunted isn’t the right word, um, spooked, creeped out, ok, maybe just confused.
I’ve tried to lead a normal life, really I have, but I’m afraid my attempts have been astonishingly less than successful.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Everywhere I turn, so-called supernatural forces invade my peace and quiet.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Ghouls, goblins, trolls, clowns, demons, ghosts, poltergeist (Theeeeey’rrrre here!), killers (#JFKFiles, or a version of them are being ‘released’, but my conspiracy theory stands – it was aliens, so in love with Marilyn Monroe they took her to their planet and they also took John F. Kennedy because he was having her death investigated…and now you also know my theory on how Monroe ‘died’)…Serial killers, serials killers who kill serial killers (Thank you?), vampires, zombies, dragons, zombie dragons, monsters, witches, warlocks, werewolves, wizards, whatchamacallits (why am I suddenly craving chocolate?)…I admit, I’m no Stephen King, but I’m not blameless in this, I’ve invited some of them in, even if metaphysically, er, unwittingly?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • How was I to know it would be an ongoing supernatural thing?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Something wicked this way comes, really, kinda busy double double toiling and troubling here…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Rapping, rapping, rapping at my door? Let me guess, the government wanting more, more, more.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • No, it’s not what goes bump in the night that terrifies me, but those in the light, pretending they want my thoughts to be free.

  • https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/It’s not a corpse risen from its grave, nor a black cat (look how cute they are, how could something that cute be bad luck, oh wait, just had a flashback of some past dates, cute can equal creepy)…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • What scares me the most doesn’t claw from the ground, nor fly down and drag me to its lair – no, it’s the lies, the lies, oh the lies, lies, lies! We’re spending our precious time on this planet…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/listening, worse, accepting lies – from politicians, corporations, anyone – we want to believe (ok, lapsed into X-Files there, who am I kidding, it’s playing in my brain right now). How can we trust if we’ve become toilet paper, waiting to be used or always taking crap from folks?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • I feel like shouting, Beware! Beware! there and everywhere, Grim Reapers Heffalump or Woozle, I’m very confusel. And it isn’t honey they’re after, they’d have to let the bees live for that, no, Winnie the Pooh and all of us should know, it’s all been very sly-sly-sly…Power and money is what they covet and if they so love it, they’ll guzzle up and muzzle up everything you prize.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Who needs horror movies anymore? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/ This is where the magic happens. Online. They put a spell on us and now we’re theirs. It’s all a bunch of hocus pocus. We need to cut through, maybe with a jigsaw…or break through, open our minds – Aparecium! Reveal the truth (yes, it’s still alive, just been badly wounded). I’m should drown my sorrows in Butterbeer, yup, you guessed it, I’m rereading the Harry Potter series for Halloween.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • The Nightmare Before Christmas? Holidays seem more like The Nightmare of Christmas and Black Friday, CyberMonday, Halloween (The Great Pumpkin will be here soon, right and David S. Pumpkins, please tell me it’s David Pumpkins – “Any Questions?”) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/ Also, Thanksgiving, Remembrance Day/Veterans Day  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/02/christmas-comes-after-remembrance-day/                      https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/03/lest-we-forget-to-shop/           Sadly, people seem way more concerned about who’s saying ‘Merry Christmas’ versus ‘Happy Holidays’ than if anyone is either merry or happy…and of course all the important parts of the holidays: peace, love, kindness, hope, caring, compassion https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/ – I’m kidding, I mean important things like: shopping, pumpkin spice, decorations, presents, phones, cars, vacations, clothes…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • This isn’t your Grinch’s consumerism, it’s so much worse. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/I don’t even enjoy entertainment (as much), I’m getting (more?) grossed out: books, TV, music, phones, video games, apps, sports, fashion, movies – what we spend on entertainment could be feeding people, giving them healthcare, education, shelter, security – the budget of the new Star Wars movie alone could feed a nation or six (The Last Jedi? Nothing like spoilers – now release the fans!).

  • We’re so afraid of being alone or being left out, we’re so desperate to be accepted, to get approval, we’re willing to believe just about anything – we believe gossip is real, innuendo is truth, and rumour is fact. Who says we don’t get enough exercise, have you been on the internet, we get plenty of exercise, jumping to conclusions. Instead of feeling connected and informed, I’m feeling tortured (and not in a starving artist kind of way). Smoke and mirrors, why bother, just plop whatever BS on the internet and suddenly, for many people, it’s magically true. Getting news from Facebook and Twitter? Really? That drives me batty! Seriously, the internet, enter at your own risk https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/28/enter-at-your-own-risk/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • In a world of choices, we have less and less choice every single day. You think zombies, Negan, and The Saviors are scary in The Walking Dead?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/Ple-eeease, that’s nothing, you want to get terrified, look up: child pornography, sexual harassment, rape culture (#MeToo isn’t just a hashtag, it’s past time – listen), child abuse, racism (clowns now emboldened to wash off their make-up and take their show on the road), poverty, net neutrality https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/06/02/net-neutrality-i-hardly-knew-you/, opioid epidemic (let me guess, this crisis will now be ‘fixed’, for profit, by those who caused the problems, for profit)…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/ cashless society (some folks must really love having their everything tracked), stock market manipulation, business amalgamation, human trafficking, scams, women’s (real) equality, chemicals (everywhere) in our environment, war profiteering, civil (and not so civil) rights, human (and not so human) rights, multi-level marketing, tax loopholes/evasion, sponsored reviews, wealth abyss, or want to get freaky, gasp, food waste.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • The real darkness seems to be oozing from deep inside us as we hyper-focus on the trivial and ignore anything of consequence – arguing, fussing, fighting, whining, name-calling, complaining – we’ve become mentally Pennywise and pound foolish. We wear wireless masks, hiding in costumes of anonymity and anger, our candy the pain we can inflict or watch or both. We all float down here in the internet sewer because here, everything you’re afraid of, every nightmare you ever had can be found with the click of a button, and I guess, we want more of Wi-Fi IT.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • It’s all so devilishly clever – we’re snapping selfies while they charge us hidden fees for digging our own graves. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • If only we could focus on kindness instead anger, helping instead of hurting, and sticking together instead of tearing each other apart. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but stranger things (2)… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Education, formal or otherwise is the answer, the more you learn the less you’ll be burned. Click on learn, not Clickbait. Who cares what celebrities are doing? Care about those who need, not those who greed. Seriously, what are we looking for anyway?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Maybe this year for Halloween, Rick Ghastly can sing an updated version of ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, because even if we find out cellphones are causing cancer or controlling our minds, they’ll have to pry these smartphones out of our cold, dead hands!!!

  • I can’t think about this anymore, it’s all trick and no treat, I have too much crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ Or maybe I need yet another break https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/09/28/we-were-on-a-break/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Or maybe this can be helped by cake https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/ – which, like the internet gives your brain a scrupulous high, but too much can leave you wondering why, why, why, why?

  • So I’ll try to rise up above the noise and confusion, carry on to see past all illusions. I’ll lay my weary head to rest (only 3 days without sleep, I’m fine) and wait for Halloween candy to go sale…because, Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore...https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

  • Even Dean and Sam Winchester boys couldn’t help us out of the hellish pit of petulance we’ve fallen into, but I’d love to see them try. The Fall of the House of Us…sure. Happy Halloween!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Holidays, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

If I Could Save Time In A Blog Bottle

Posted on by D. Parker

1gone46There never seems to be enough time
to do the things you want to do,
but there might be,
if I stopped blogging…

But I like blogging…

Yet it’s time-consuming…

Once you’ve let that blogging genie out of the bottle, there’s no turning back. I keep trying to get away, but blogging keeps pulling me back in.

I also like making people laugh, I might be the one during the apocalypse: “Knock Knock.” Random guy, “Who’s there?” “Zombie.” “Zombie who?” Me running, yelling, “Zombie, behind you, run!”

1gone20

Then again, too much time isn’t always good, when I have time to think, I often feel like an alien in this world. Not the rubbery, gray, tall, skinny aliens, more like the ET-hey-I-landed-on-your-planet-I need-to-phone-home-wow-your-long-distance-plan-sucks-at-least-the-snacks-are-yummy-does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat-type alien.

1gone28

Going out on a limb, I’d say I’m not the only one who’s ever felt they’re waiting for the mothership to take them back to their home planet.
If only I’d arrived with an instruction manual. I know my parents wish I did.

Time runs by us, screaming like a babysitter in a horror movie. And as another Halloween creeps up, let us pay our last respects to things gone, but not forgotten…maybe they’ll return someday (hopefully not as zombies):

1. Hairspray, you once permeated every part of our lives, especially our lungs…guess we’re kinda grateful big hair is dead.

2. Mixed tapes have gone to join the choir invisible – mixed emojis?

3. Adieu giving up your seat to someone elderly or disabled or pregnant; apparently now they must fend for themselves, Game of Thrones-style.

4. Farewell phones, attached to a cord, instead of our hand or head.

1gone3

5. Once loved and adored, held up on a pedestal, billboards, race cars, own section in the grocery store…poor little gluten, now dead to many, a social pariah.

6. RIP, ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, and ‘You’re Welcome’, now ghosts of civilities past.

7. Quiet time, without tweets, updates, texts, and emails has kicked the bucket…Remember? Probably not, with all the digital amnesia…

8. Showing up at your new neighbours with baked goods has shuffled off this mortal coil; no friendly greetings, just pepper spray, the police, and/or speech on food allergies.

1gone12

9. Bereft of life are ‘Thank You’ notes, but I’m still thankful to people who say cardshark instead of cardsharp, so I can picture a shark playing poker.

10. Talking to plants is now pushin’ up the daisies, can’t we just text them, telling them 2 gro?

11. Not asking for gifts and money has kinda bought the farm – #gimme is society’s new hashtag.

1gone10

12. Wobbly inside-out pools hidden under threads of Egyptian cotton; waterbeds gone to their watery grave.

13. Patience is at death’s door, but really, there’s nothing you could possibly have to do (or explain to a judge) that’s worth putting children at risk, on Halloween, or any time.
Please pay attention while driving, I promise that absolutely fascinating tweet, update, text, or email about:

  • how porcupines mate without stabbing each other,

  • the shape of dog’s poop,

  • a divine fat, gluten and dairy-free no-bake cheesecake recipe (can that still be called cheesecake?),

1gone9

  • cats robbed of their dignity via the internet,

  • if Bon Jovi’s hair is still real (see #1),

  • which Kardashian is getting married or divorced (all of them),

1funny471

  • if Taco Bell is health food (it’s not),

  • finding out who died on The Walking Dead (hint hint, no one, they’re actors),

1wd15

  • Justin Bieber’s private parts (what part of private is hard to understand, Justin?),   

  • discussions about Donald Trump’s IQ (rich doesn’t equal smart)…

1gone16
will all be there later, sadly. If not, what did you really miss?

I guess we make time to do the things we want to do, so I’ll save every blogging day ’til blog eternity passes away, just to spend them with you, dear readers.

1gone39

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Movies, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

You Can’t Handle The Blogging Truth!

Posted on by D. Parker

1halloween40October conjures images of:
Fall leaves, crisp nights… pumpkins and pumpkin spice…Halloween, candy, black cats…sexy Hunger Games costumes, yeah, I’ve stopped asking why at this point…

Apparently, scary is definitely different for different people.

For some scary is:
The dark – where all the known and unknown creep.
Horror movies that make people hide their eyes, but have to peak.
The price of groceries or hydro (both terrifying).
Trying on bathing suits (could turn your hair white).
Dating, parenting, love…
Loss of those we love.
Christmas or any holidays with in-laws.
Elections, wars, politicians.
Loss of cellphone reception (The horror! The horror!).
Running out of chocolate (now that’s horror!).
Liars, vampires, aliens, monsters, sparkly vampires, zombies…

1halloween22

I started blogging to relax, reignite my love of writing, and to be rich/famous (not necessarily in that order) – 555 posts later, well, two out of three ain’t bad. No one warned it could be so scary!

Life doesn’t come with instructions, we have to grope our way through this at times terrifying funhouse – long strips of goodness, gooey badness, melty magnificence, and squishy horrors – blogging is pretty much the same.

1halloween26It was  a dark and stormy night…Start a blog they said. It’ll be fun they said.

1. You want the blog truth, you can’t handle the blog truth! By the flickering computer light and hum, something wicked this way comes…really, Shakespeare how would thou deal with: endless emails, trolls, glitches, and ghosts in the machine?

2. First, you find your way through the woods (aka the internet) to an old mansion (aka WordPress) where you start your blog. Soon, strange things start happening – stuff moves by itself, stuff disappears, and you find yourself alone, in the dark, and still, you hear the click, click, click of the keyboard…

1halloween33
3. Come up with a cunning plan, overly elaborate with, as a random example, a dog with a speech impediment; a drug-addled vegetarian with a groovy van; narcissistic metrosexual; frumpy geek girl who needs contacts; and constantly kidnapped drama queen.

sd1

4. Your loved ones look at you oddly as you repeatedly type: All work and no play makes Donna a dull girl…They complain you’re hunched over your shining computer, or using them for…inspiration.

1halloween30
5. Read aloud from online posts, only to realize, you’ve freed some ancient vengeful Babylonian deity…or worse, a telemarketer! Who you gonna call?

1halloween44
6. Invited to Bloggers Bash at a spooky mansion, you accept, bloggers are fun, right?

1halloween38

7. Pop over to Pinterest for a ‘minute’ to find an image or inspiration…later you’re found wandering through the desert and learn you’ve been missing for 7 years and still didn’t find the right meme.

8. Fall asleep at your computer and wake up in a dream where a serial killer is hunting you, or worse, you’ve lost all your followers!

1halloween28

9. You decide to take a break from writing and take a bath or shower, you know better, but it’s been a long day.

1halloween23
10. You ask for books to review, but then …One, two, writers are coming for you. Three, four, publishers knock at your door. Five, six, who do you pick? Seven, eight, accept your fate. Nine, ten, never sleep again.

11. You turn to run from the glowing ooze on your keyboard, but there’s a evil clown or worse, housework behind you…your furniture is moving on it’s own, but it’s not getting dusted…Why? Oh why?

1halloween37
12. Through a series of unfortunate events, you find out your blog is built on an old cemetery and an ancient burial ground where rituals were performed. You could run to another platform, but that’s a lot of work.

13. So I will think of blogging not as a horror movie, but more like a community garden. We all work together to grow something remarkable. There will be ups and downs, but in the end, we’ll all be part of something amazing…as long as nothing comes alive to eat us.

halloween6

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Message In A Bottle

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/To me, blogging is
a version of the
old-timey message
in a bottle.
The blogging world
is a vast ocean,
we throw our
message out there
and hope against hope
someone finds it.
Some of us are trying to
connect, share, find others,
teach, or maybe even
send out an SOS.
So how do you start
your own ‘message in a bottle’
and make it reach others?

 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

1. Don’t think about if your readers will love what you write or you’re going to be discovered, just make sure you love it, then hopefully, they will. If not, there’s always chocolate.

2. Remember as you send these bottles out, those you’re trying to reach are never far from the madding crowd (hearing people mispronounce the title, Far From the Madding Crowd is actually more fun than the book/movies, is that wrong?). People are busy, so when they open their email to see a hundred billion bottles washed up on their shore, it can be overwhelming.

3. In this same vein, posts can be vampires, sucking away time. Or maybe sometimes a vampire is just a vampire.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

4.  Posts can also be zombies, shuffling into our readers or mailboxes, taking bites out of the day. I don’t know if I Fear The Walking Dead so much as opening my email, in other words, know your audience…it can be a grave error to write long or many posts if your readers don’t have time to read them. You make your readers snooze, you lose.

5. Adding images to posts amuses me, makes me laugh, makes a point, or just makes me happy. Hopefully they resonate with others.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

6. Sometimes readers won’t get what you’re saying or don’t agree. Sometimes your jokes fall flat. Maybe they haven’t read the same books, watched the same movies or TV shows…Some are trolls, actively dislike you, perhaps even use your Gravatar at which to throw darts – the internet is built on people being offended, appalled, shocked, and downright grumpy. Just do what you do.

7. How can you expect people to have a deep relationship with a shallow person? Be real, write your own stuff, if that makes people think, learn, laugh, smile, cry, or even spit their coffee out…they’ll want to read more.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

8. Like it or not, successful blogging has a degree of popularity. Let’s jump back to vampires, they depend on brooding, pouting, sparkling, hotness, intensity, and overacting with a penchant for black clothes, especially black leather, but blogging can’t all be about flash and no substance.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

9. Get out there, enjoy other blogs, find those messages in bottles and answer them, don’t be timid about liking, sharing or commenting – let others know you’re out there. Make them feel like they’re not alone in being alone.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

10. Most of you are part of a large, sprawling, at times dysfunctional, human race family, so you’ll be part of the blogging family. Like vampires, family can sometimes be a pain in the neck, but still we hunger for the connection.

11. When the unexpected or unwanted happens, say, your computer breaks, you have a dental emergency, you can’t get a song by The Police out of your head; out of town company; Fibroflare; anxiety about a coming event; a sinus infection and the list goes on…um, write a blogging advice post?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

12. Wow, that advice is bloody awesome…or terrible, depending on your point of view. Forget all of it, just do whatever feels right to you.

And I hope that someone gets your…I hope that someone gets your message in a bottle. Here’s mine.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

Posted in Canada, Cats, Christmas, Food, Holidays, Uncategorized

Oh Snow, You Didn’t!

Posted on by D. Parker

1snow3Looking out my window last night, into the dark, still night as I always do before bed, you know, as everyone does to make sure there are no zombies, aliens, purges, or other issues, I noticed a new menace!

This was a foe I’d met before.
Sneaky and untimely, it had arrived.
On the surface it was bright, sparkly and gave the street a contemporary Currier and Ives appearance, but I knew it for what it was!
Snowmg, this was too soon.
I thought, Oh Hell Snow!
Snow way!

The only dashing I wanted to do was down to the park to play some tennis or to take a long walk, in shoes.
No jingling. No jangling. No turtledoves or French hens.
No lords leaping or otherwise.
No fat man with a hidden address going on my roof. What is with Christmas anyway? Having children sit on some strangers’ lap and tell him the thing they want most in the world so he can break into their house, eat their food, drink their beverages, leave them gifts after watching them sleep. That’s just freaky.

1snow1

I don’t want wassail or fruitcake, wait, it’s cold, I’ll take the wassail, but not the wassailers, too early.
4 cups apple cider, or apple juice, or 6 cored apples & 4 tbsp. sugar, honey, or maple syrup (or a combination depending how sweet a tooth you have)
2 cups cranberry juice
2 cups orange juice
3 tbsp. lemon juice
2 cups water
4 sticks of cinnamon or 1 tsp. cinnamon
2 tbsp. Cloves, ginger, nutmeg (or not)

All the ingredients in a large pot, on low for 6-8 hrs; all day in a slow cooker.
Add wine or brandy or rum for adults.
Orange slices and cranberries for decoration.

Snow is not a signal to start Christmas cheer yet. No shopping and definitely no fa la laing. No singing loud for all the world to hear. Signed, The Grinch.

chrisstmas131

I was enjoying other people’s posts on snow, then it got real. How can I originally be from near Sudbury and still be this traumatized by snow? No idea.

Fine. Bring it on.
Polar Vortex. Snowmageddon. Snownado. Snowzilla.

Snow wars. Snow conflict. Snowpocalypse.

Quietus snowus. Snow-nihilation.

Snowreaper. The oncoming snowstorm.

Just know that I will grumble. I will say, How about this snow? Brrr, it’s cold and the classic, Is there more snow than last year?

Snow there, Mother Nature, snow there!

1christmas8

Posted in Holidays, Movies, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Welcome to my Nightmare

Posted on by D. Parker

1alice4

Around this time of year people often pose the question: what’s your worst nightmare? For me, something horrible happening to my son, and the rest of my family and friends.

My nightmares, when I actually sleep, are few, but they all start the same, running. Not jogging, all comfy shoes and music, but frantic, desperate, trying-to-get-away-from-something-running. I’m not scared of the running, but of what I’m running from. Maybe that’s why I love to walk, little chance I’m leisurely strolling away from a zombie, vampire, alien, mass murderer, serial killer, etc., right?
Luckily in the nightmares my son is usually running ahead of me; he’s fast, so he makes it.

I know what you’re doing right now…hopefully reading this:

1. The origins of Halloween are ancient and include: sacrifices, celebrating Harvest, fairies, demons, feasts, Druids, Celts, scaring away spirits, appeasing spirits, passion, death, and so much more…and this is for children now, hmmm.

2. In Medieval England hearing an owl’s call meant someone was about to die, well, duh, it was Medieval England, of course someone was about to die.

3. Ireland is believed to be the birthplace of Halloween so why does no one drink green beer on October 31st?

4. Harry Houdini died on Halloween 1926…coincidence?

5. We have carved: beets, turnips, potatoes, and pumpkins for Halloween, weird amount of veggies for a candy holiday.

6. Safety first, sadly, children are twice as likely to be killed in or by a car on Halloween.

7. Some animals shelters have stopped adoptions of black cats near Halloween, because people sacrifice them. What is wrong with…sigh, I have no words.1alice18. Orange symbolizes: Harvest, Fall, and strength. Black implies darkness and death, including the death of summer…I just like wearing it.

9.Witch comes from wicce which means wise woman. I know a lot of witches.

10. Halloween can cause poor behaviour and deindividualization. In costume, together, people care less about consequences of individual actions; doing things they normally wouldn’t do alone.

1alice311. The Michael Myers mask in 1978’s Halloween was actually a William Shatner mask. And now he has a renovation show, William Shatner, not Michael Myers although it’s reality TV so who knows?

12. Some suggestions for definitely too-soon Halloween costumes: Sexy Hazmat suits, zombie Robin Williams, terrorist, Ray Rice dragging a doll…just don’t.

13. Halloween has had many names: All Hallows Evening, All Hallows Eve, Samhain, Witches Night, Lambswool, Haunting Night, Summer’s End, Snap-Apple Night, wait, doesn’t that last one just sound like Snapple Night? Mmmm, Snapple.

And if you inadvertently find yourself in a horror movie this Halloween, here’s some help: https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

Posted in Books, Holidays, Movies, Televison, Zombies

Supernatural Calgon Take Me Away!

Posted on by D. Parker

1bane10The supernatural has intrigued humans for all long as anyone can remember, but does anyone think of their side of the story? Do supernatural creatures ever get a chance to just kick back and enjoy life?
They seem too busy conjuring, hunting, and doing evil to just enjoy the little things. Maybe they should visit a supernatural spa, take a long supernatural walk, enjoy a stunning supernatural sunset, or read a supernatural book, give themselves a supernatural break.
Instead they enrage already angry mobs, dodge bullets, arrows, demon hunters! Avoiding being burned at the stake or getting a stake through the heart! Avoiding the sun, salt, garlic, silver, conflict with others in various realms – there’s a lot of avoidance behaviour there.
Just seems exhausting.
They must feel like saying, Supernatural Calgon take me away!
They just don’t seem like they get a lot of time to themselves.
So they’re creepy but are they happy?

1bane15

None of that explains why we like the supernatural, superstition, mysticism, religion, etc. so much.
Does scaring ourselves let us come to terms with our fears in a sort of safe mode?
Can we sense the supernatural in the natural world and we’re trying to make sense of it?
Perhaps it’s the illusion of control? To believe in supernatural causality, that somehow one thing causes another to happen without any natural process between them, perhaps it’s comforting.1bane8

In the spirit of Halloween I’ve been reading creepy and kooky and sometimes even spooky books, including The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson (Margaret K. McElderry Books/Simon & Schuster), a sort of spin-off from The Mortal Instruments series where Bane (not one of my top characters at least in this series, but these historical follies were amusing), an immortal warlock goes on a supernatural bar hop scavenger hunt through time.  I got a chuckle from the inference that he’s the reason we have the idiom, Bane of my existence…hmmm, I suppose that could refer to Batman’s Bane as well. But I digress…

Of course, reading this made me wonder even more why we can’t get enough of stories of: warlocks, witches, zombies, aliens, demons, demon hunters, ghosts, angels, monsters, fallen angels, werewolves, vampires and other supernatural beings?
Do we need to put a face and a name on the things that go bump in the night?
Try to calm the inner turmoil caused by our fight or flight response?
Or is dressing up at Halloween and scaring ourselves with movies, books, TV now merely entertainment?

This Halloween think of our supernatural friends…I know they’ll be thinking of you!

Posted in Books, Family, Holidays, Uncategorized

Thankful I know enough to be thankful

Posted on by D. Parker
thanks5

Here in Canada we have Thanksgiving in October, weeks before Halloween…go figure.

A few things I know and things I’m thankful for, including but not limited to:

1. Happiness can be…a smile, a furry friend, snowflakes dancing against the darkness, absorbing books, family, friends, a movie that makes you laugh and cry, a TV show where you can’t wait for the next episode, a cozy bed, chocolate melting on your tongue, a slow dance, walking in the Fall and more.

2. Those who believe in fate or faith should never look both ways or check an expiry date.

3. Fear is more contagious than any disease and stronger than an army.

4. People make choices. How you feel about those choices or the consequences has little or no bearing. Really.

5. The Earth will still be here in one form or another after we’re gone.1thanks106. Everyone has their own window on the world, with it’s own screen. You can’t make someone see through your screen and it’s impossible to see through theirs.

7. You can’t walk away from yourself the way you walk away from other people. If you’re going to stay, play nice.

8. Truth can be painful and can take you places you may not wish to go. Go anyway.

9. Even the most basic beliefs about reality aren’t true alone, our thinking makes them true in our experience. Hopefully this isn’t true about zombies.

10. We forget. Our mind is designed to remember and to forget, but too often we forget when someone has been there for us or not. Don’t forget.

1thanks6

I’m thankful my son makes me laugh and vice versa.
Thankful for family, friends, and virtual friends.
Thankful for things that keep my weary mind amused.
Thankful for what I’ve had, what I’ve lost, what I might have.
Thankful I know enough to be thankful.

 

Posted in Books, Cooking, Food, Holidays, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

The Joy of Cooking on a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Posted on by D. Parker

1cookz2Some days I love cooking, but what about cooking on a terrible, horrible, no good, really bad day? I still want what I cook to be delicious and healthy, but how could I do that, say, during a zombie apocalypse? I don’t want myself and any loved ones who had managed to survive to simply subsist on self-contained, shelf-stable foods. We might be prey, but that doesn’t mean we’re stuck eating MREs (Meal Ready to Eat). Think fresh and available. What could be tastier than cricket, kelp and mushroom bourguignon?1cookz6

 After reading The Art of Eating Through the Zombie Apocalypse: A Cookbook & Culinary Survival Guide by Lauren Wilson, illustrated by Kristian Bauthus (Benbella Books) you’ll be thinking you should get a head start on this new way of cooking. While I know this book was meant to be tongue-in-cheek (I think that may also be a recipe), it could be a great book to have on hand, just in case. Enjoy this detailed, funny, and practical cookbook as you re-watch or catch up on The Walking Dead to be ready for its return on Sunday October 12th, which coincidentally, is the Canadian Thanksgiving…turkey and zombies, this completely changes the phrase, surviving the holidays.

If nature turns against you, turn that frown upside down – think of it as a fresh start, going back to basics.1cookz4World crumbling around you during a zombie or other apocalypse?
Doesn’t mean you can’t make a wonderful apple crumble in your ammo can oven!

Just because the living dead can’t think of anything but eating human flesh doesn’t mean you have to give up being a foodie.

Posted in Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Zombies and Calculus and Other Scary Stuff

Posted on by D. Parker

1cat18

There’s a slight possibility I could handle the horrors of the zombie apocalypse with slower-paced zombies, but express zombies are just too much. Think about it, you don’t have to outrun the zombies, just slower people, but with rapid zombies I know I wouldn’t last long.

I don’t think we’d like The Walking Dead nearly as much if they were The Running Dead, or The Sprinting Dead, or even The Jogging Dead.

1bucket14

Princeton University Press

Zombies and Calculus by Colin Adams (Princeton University Press) was a panic-inducing read, overflowing with horror, confusion, and images that will keep me up at night. And that was just the calculus, there were also zombies.

This is either a math book that added zombies to keep it interesting or a zombie book that has added math as a gimmick, either way, it’s a fun tweak to a supersaturated zombie genre.

A math professor is teaching calculus when the zombie apocalypse happens. As the zombies begin to multiply exponentially (yeah, you know I went for the math joke), the remaining humans must use cunning, force, teamwork, and math to survive.

I expected more of this from Dr. Eugene Porter (Josh McDermitt) on The Walking Dead (AMC), of course, it might break the rhythm of the show to have him figuring out math problems while zombies attack.
Might distract from his haircut though.

1math1

At first I was tempted to skip the math stuff in Zombies & Calculus, but quickly I realized it wasn’t just an integral part of the story, it was so well-explained and tied into the story, it was quite readable.

While interesting, it’s more math and less zombie than say: The Walking Dead, Zombieland, 28 Days Later, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Resident Evil, Night of the Living Dead and all its sequels, video games, or even Max Brooks’s (yes, the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft) stuff, World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide, or his new graphic novel series, The Extinction Parade, illustrated by Raulo Caceres (Avatar).

The Extinction Parade, from what I’ve seen so far, is dark, gritty, and creepy. Vampires vs. zombies after the vampires decide the zombies are a bad idea because they’re not a good food source; us humans apparently are tastier before we get all zombified. Well-done and flowing with intriguing messages about the fallacies of ‘development’, ‘progress’ and ‘consumption’, but I wouldn’t recommend it for younger audiences or even some adults.

1math4
Old school zombie guy George A. Romero tried to use zombies to get people to understand rampant consumerism and how it’s going to destroy us all, but somehow I think the message got lost. That hasn’t diminished it’s popularity, zombies have been spreading through books, movies, TV shows,video games for decades, so before the zombie fad draws its last breath, why not do something fun with it? If it gets children interested in math, all the better.

As school begins, pack up those lunches, books, put on those new clothes and shoes, recharge those tablets, laptops, smartphones, and don’t forget your zombie survival kit, after all, doesn’t it make sense zombies would go to schools first, you know, with the whole brains thing?

1math6

Posted in Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Why Zombies Won’t Rule

Posted on by D. Parker

1. Zombies are, so far, an analogy for over-consumption. We don’t have to worry about zombies, we’re killing ourselves off quite effectively.

wd74

2. Zombies seem relentless, but have no ambition, sort of like teens at a mall.

3. Zombie genre is hyper-focused on what zombies would do to humans. Not much about what nature would do to these walking smorgasbords. Nature doesn’t need fresh meat, many love decaying flesh. First the blowflies, flesh flies and maggots. Also, vultures, burying beetles, lions, wolves, dogs, eagles, hawks, coyotes, crows, raccoons, tigers, hyenas, etc. And cockroaches – they can live up to a week without a head, can’t say the same for zombies.

wd83

4. They’re dead and only getting deader. Weather, nature, and decomposition works wonders on the complexion and can make the average zombie into a sticky puddle of botox-won’t-help-that-sweetie-mess in no time.

5.  Think of the zombie apocalypse as a Home Alone movie, but with zombies instead of inept burglars. They can’t strategize, they’re easily tricked, they don’t notice traps. Try sandbags, fences, walls, doors, boarded up windows, spikes, barbed wire, fire, or maybe even marbles, icy stairs, hot door knobs, paint cans, etc. would work.

6. No one really explains how zombies overcome the military. Zombies move toward armies, have no defenses, don’t retreat. This doesn’t even work as a Risk game.

wd707. As free-range humans become more scarce so would the food source; we’re just not that reliable. Also, we fight back.

8. Humans could get to islands, fortified or remote locations, and structures to wait until the zombies decompose.

 9. Humans generally know more about survival now, ie. Water purification tabs, weapons, decoy camps, Dakota fire pits, how to purify urine to drink it, making a stove out of a soda can, etc.wd72

10. I think Nerds will save us. They have special skills, right? Video games have taught them survival skills, including using a sniper riffle, crossbow, etc. Most already exist on processed foods. They’re used to staying up for days on end, they’re patient, and they don’t feel the need for a companionship. Also, they can figure out a way to start getting power back on, etc. They can read maps, are used to quests, and really, it’s as though they’ve been training for an apocalyptic event since the first time their hands touched a controller. Let’s hope these video game skills translate into life skills, wait, maybe I shouldn’t pin too much hope on this.

I just hope if the zombie apocalypse happens they’re the slow zombies, not the fast ones. I think I can survive the slow, shuffling ones, but those fast ones, not so much.wd75

Posted in Books, Movies, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Why Zombies Will Rule

Posted on by D. Parker

wd69

1. Zombies won’t just be dangerous because of the biting flesh part, they’re rotting corpses. Think about all the diseases they would cause, not to mention all the scavengers and parasites they would attract. Like some people you may know, zombies are toxic, but literally.

2. Zombies don’t need to sleep.

3. They’re not distracted by TV, the internet, cell phones, etc.

4. They don’t have any vices.

5. Zombies don’t get sick, I mean eventually they decompose, but who knows how long that will take?

6. Society will fall apart if they don’t have cell phones, the internet, TV, etc.wd76

7. Sadly, Zombies will kill off children and probably their parents quickly, come on, think of how long it takes to get the average toddler to put on their shoes, get to sleep, etc…and how would they stay quiet enough? How would they be amused without technology?

wd87

8.  Zombies don’t get bored and don’t need entertaining, they just wait around for food to be delivered to them or they wander around looking for takeout.

9. So many people are too apathetic or lazy to even get out and vote which effects your life just as much as zombies (have you seen some politicians?). How are they going to survive?

wd8810. Statistically as there are more zombies and less humans, well, you do the math…the odds are against us.

willf1

Posted in Books, Uncategorized

Zombies Vs Unicorns

Posted on by D. Parker

Zombies vs Unicorns

1D1by Holly Black 

(Margaret K. McElderry Books)

I’m going to plunge into the fray on this one.

Zombies are cooler and all symbolic of our decaying society and consumer culture thingy.

Unicorns definitely have the whole magical and purity thing down.zombies2

There I stated my opinion, what’s yours?zombies1

Posted in Books, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Zombies on Sesame Street

Posted on by D. Parker

 ImageI’ve noticed in the last few years people have become obsessed with books and movies about dystopian societies.

Why? Maybe because we’re already living in a dystopian society controlled by those who destroy the very world that gives us life, for short-term profit and power.  Worse than that, we let them.

Image

The Walking Dead is a mainstream hit, a soap opera about a post-apocalyptic world where people are being ripped apart by zombies, fighting each other, and still finding time for romance. It’s more about the people, their interactions, what they will do under horrible situations, etc., the zombies are just to make it different than an actual soap opera, well, sort of.

Image

In George A. Romero’s original vision of zombies they were an allegory about consumerism run amok; they’re about each of us consuming each other by over-consuming.

We find them fascinating because we see ourselves in them, the darkness inside, the monster within, a ravenous beast who lives only to consume, to devour, to munch through or chomp down.

There is something strangely admirable about zombies, they are who they are. No lying, no cheating, no deception, no manipulation – they want to tear your flesh apart and eat it and they make no bones about it. Are they even the bad guys or is it the humans who terrorize and torture each other?

Let me sum this up by a quote from the man that started it all, George A Romero –

“I expect a zombie to show up on ‘Sesame Street‘ soon, teaching kids to count”.

His point being, that’s how mainstream they’ve become in our attempt to accept and somehow justify our insane consumerism.

Not saying I don’t like this show, it is so well-crafted it’s impossible not to view and enjoy.

Image

The Walking Dead (in Black and White)

B&W adds a whole other dimension to this series and of course, is reminiscent of Romero’s independent 1968 B&W unique horror standard, Night of the Living Dead. It’s also a great way to sell more DVDs. I really love the B&W version, it’s spookier, moodier, creepier and what real horror is about. Hey, I just love B&W.

In the meantime, check out the graphic novels, much grittier, but quite interesting.