Posted in Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Why Zombies Won’t Rule

Posted on by D. Parker

1. Zombies are, so far, an analogy for over-consumption. We don’t have to worry about zombies, we’re killing ourselves off quite effectively.

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2. Zombies seem relentless, but have no ambition, sort of like teens at a mall.

3. Zombie genre is hyper-focused on what zombies would do to humans. Not much about what nature would do to these walking smorgasbords. Nature doesn’t need fresh meat, many love decaying flesh. First the blowflies, flesh flies and maggots. Also, vultures, burying beetles, lions, wolves, dogs, eagles, hawks, coyotes, crows, raccoons, tigers, hyenas, etc. And cockroaches – they can live up to a week without a head, can’t say the same for zombies.

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4. They’re dead and only getting deader. Weather, nature, and decomposition works wonders on the complexion and can make the average zombie into a sticky puddle of botox-won’t-help-that-sweetie-mess in no time.

5.  Think of the zombie apocalypse as a Home Alone movie, but with zombies instead of inept burglars. They can’t strategize, they’re easily tricked, they don’t notice traps. Try sandbags, fences, walls, doors, boarded up windows, spikes, barbed wire, fire, or maybe even marbles, icy stairs, hot door knobs, paint cans, etc. would work.

6. No one really explains how zombies overcome the military. Zombies move toward armies, have no defenses, don’t retreat. This doesn’t even work as a Risk game.

wd707. As free-range humans become more scarce so would the food source; we’re just not that reliable. Also, we fight back.

8. Humans could get to islands, fortified or remote locations, and structures to wait until the zombies decompose.

 9. Humans generally know more about survival now, ie. Water purification tabs, weapons, decoy camps, Dakota fire pits, how to purify urine to drink it, making a stove out of a soda can, etc.wd72

10. I think Nerds will save us. They have special skills, right? Video games have taught them survival skills, including using a sniper riffle, crossbow, etc. Most already exist on processed foods. They’re used to staying up for days on end, they’re patient, and they don’t feel the need for a companionship. Also, they can figure out a way to start getting power back on, etc. They can read maps, are used to quests, and really, it’s as though they’ve been training for an apocalyptic event since the first time their hands touched a controller. Let’s hope these video game skills translate into life skills, wait, maybe I shouldn’t pin too much hope on this.

I just hope if the zombie apocalypse happens they’re the slow zombies, not the fast ones. I think I can survive the slow, shuffling ones, but those fast ones, not so much.wd75

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28 thoughts on “Why Zombies Won’t Rule”

  2. I used to be addicted to that game when I first came across it. And I now I haven’t played it once since I started bogging. So blogging is a pretty good defence against them too. I dread to think what state my farms are in! 🙂 x

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    1. lol That reminds me, I think I started something on Facebook at some point, hmmm, weird. Blogging takes more time I thought, for sure. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

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      1. I know. They would have to leave their mom’s basement. lol 😉 Once they kill the first real zombie, they should be golden. The focus has to change from imagination to reality.
        Some of the gamers that I know are geniuses. Like in reality. 🙂 They know how to play chess with four people. It boggles my mind.

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      2. I know, my son is like that. It’s like they’re the Chosen Ones because they’re digital natives whereas we older folk are always trying to keep up with technology, it comes naturally to them. They have all the skills to save us during our dystopian meltdown and I think they’ll be really motivated because the zombies caused society to stop functioning and cut off their gaming. Gamers are just zombie hunters in training. 😉

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      3. Yes. like the guy in Walking Dead. I can’t remember his name. The one the red-headed army guy is trying to keep safe. He is the chosen one. (I know, Daryl is the fan fav without a doubt. He is a kinda sexy is a grungy kind of way. But you know. It’s the apocalypse. can’t be too picky.

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      4. Dr. Eugene Porter…he’s smart, but not that bright. There’s something to be said about survival skills when it comes to the ZA and Daryl is hot, so’s Rick, for that matter so was the Governor (but very wrong). Not like you have a lot of options or time to indulge in romance, you know, with the zombies and all.

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      5. Yes. He doesn’t have people skills. Book smart. Not street smart. I kinda liked Shane. But he was evil. Sexy & evil. lol 🙂
        Yeah, not a good time for romance. You could write a zombie apocalypse romance novel. 🙂

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  4. I have always thought it made no sense that zombies could keep going for years and there would be no decayed bodies laying around. It doesn’t make sense because even dead bodies undisturbed by animals would be bones in time. The thing is there are always more people dying so there are more zombies every day.
    I do love zombie books, television, and movies though so I push my doubts aside. Now vampires, are another thing. I think they are ridiculous!

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    1. Well, plot holes and logic gaps aside, zombies shows are cool…we’ll have to agree to disagree on vampires (except the sparkly ones, those I don’t get). 😉
      Thanks again for the reblog, bloody nice of you. 😉

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  8. Nailed it! as a zombie aficionado, as long as they are slow moving, and aim for the head, humans will be fine. Which is why I keep a katana handy (like Michonne.) 🙂

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    1. Thank you kindly!
      We should be ok, but keeping a katana handy is never a bad idea. 😉
      Thanks for dropping by, hope this week is treating you well. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for the remarkable reblog, Ian. Hope things have been well (all things considered). Thanks again for the #bloglove and hope this week treats you kindly. Big bloggy hugs xox

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    1. Thank you kindly, Ian, I don’t know if you’re getting these comments, sometimes WordPress plays tricks (no treats) and says No!
      Hope this finds you safe and sound. Thank you for the lovely reblog! How delightful!
      Stay safe. Stay connected. 🙂
      Big non-contagious hugs xoxo

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