It’s never easy to say goodbye. Ok, that’s not true, sometimes it’s super easy to say goodbye, in fact, you wished could’ve said goodbye much, much earlier. You’re with someone, they’re annoying you, but it’s impolite to leave, or you feel you should or have to stay. Or when you’re at a party, function, event, etc. and some guests are driving you up a wall. There are times when you’re screaming goodbye in your head, measuring how many steps it would take to get to the door, or wondering if anyone will notice if you were to dive out of the window, full-on Die Hard – hmm, was that what Shakespeare was picturing when he said, ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow, wait to jump out that window till the morrow’? Something like that.
We love to tell stories, we’re natural born storytellers. Over 7 billion of us on the planet, telling our stories. So many stories. While we’re telling those stories, or hearing those stories, we’re not going to agree on everything all the time or be pleased all the time, but could we put all the hate, bullying, vitriol, name-calling, hyperbole, lies, persecution, injustice on the shelf? Maybe we could strive to disagree respectfully. There are many ways to tell stories, from many perspectives.
A long-awaited specialist appointment (now waiting for more, er, stuff and trying new, er, stuff) opened and reopened my eyes. No worries, it’s not fatal, to the best of my knowledge, it just feels like it’s killing me…
1) I need to take a break and focus on my health.
2) I need to write, not just blog posts, but my book, and maybe try to make more money to pay for my dirty habit…to clarify, it’s my chocolate habit, but it can be dirty; dark chocolate especially leaves terrible stains and smears everywhere.
3) It’s with a heavy heart that I write This Is Where I Leave You…actually, I didn’t write that, Jonathan Tropper did and it was delightfully flawed, if a little clever-clever, but I appreciate the exertion. Plots and characters somewhat transparent yet quite engaging. His authentically muddled and intriguingly idiosyncratic style keeps me reading. Hollywood made a valiant attempt to adequately adapt it to the screen with: Tina Fey (SNL, Mean Girls, 30 Rock, Spongebob Squarepants, Simpsons, Sisters, Muppets, etc.), Jason Bateman (Arrested Development, Zootopia, Juno, Paul, Little House on the Prairie, Knight Rider, etc.),
Adam Driver (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Girls, J. Edgar, Lincoln, The Unusuals, etc. ), Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood, Justified, Catch and Release, Live Free or Die Hard, The Mindy Project, The Office, Hitman, Call of Duty), Dax Shepard (Robot Chicken, Idiocracy, Parenthood, and endless odd Samsung commercials with wife, Kristen Bell who will always be Veronica Mars to me, also great in Deadwood), Jane Fonda (The Newsroom, Barbarella, On Golden Pond, Sunday in New York, Cat Ballou, Barefoot in the Park, The Butler, Georgia Rule, They Shoot Horses Don’t They, Klute, Coming Home, The China Syndrome, The Morning After, and you may know her from her activism and/or groovy exercise videos).
4) I might need to cut back on TV, way too many shows are just ads in disguise. ie. Ride with Norman Reedus should actually be titled: American Tourism, Ducati, BMW, Harley-Davidson, Honda, Indian, Kawasaki, KTM, Suzuki, Triumph, and Yamaha Pay For Ride with Norman Reedus. And it’s weird how he wanders around never opening his wallet, it’s like he’s still on The Walking Dead, I guess there’s no need for money during the zombie apocalypse – the Daryl Dixon Discount.
Gorgeous bikes, scenery, people (well, mostly), but obviously one long commercial. Don’t know if I’m now more or less inclined to be sad if Negan chooses Daryl. Just sayin’.
I’ll forgive AMC, after all, they also gave us: Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Talking Dead, Hell On Wheels, Mad Men, Fear The Walking Dead, Turn: Washington’s Spies, The American West, Into The Badlands, and now, Preacher, a gruesomely heartening supernatural tale of good vs evil, or more like good vs itself.
5) I need to find new ways to de-stress. Stress is everywhere these days. Even dogs and cats are under pressure to perform, and not just in endless and often demeaning internet videos, gifs, memes, etc. (see above, but how cute is that?); just look at their food – it has to be high in fiber, promote lean muscle, keep them at a healthy weight, all so they can be adorably frisky and playful, for our amusement. Amusement seems more important now than ever. We need to be constantly amused, entertained, busy. Is it a latent, twisted version of hunting and gathering, we now hunt and gather entertainment?
We even amuse ourselves with foodporn, I mean, food now…
6) I’m crushing on teacup pigs, some call them pocket pigs, or micro pigs, but I worry about their popularity, they could get bought up by someone like Bill Gates and we’ll have to buy endless crappy versions of them – Microsoft pigs.
7) I need to catch up on my reading. Numerous library books await my attention, with due dates, apparently some others have the nerve to want to use
my the public library.
Life is all about the journey, not the destination, and sometimes that journey takes you not where you meant to go but where you’re meant to be. Reading takes you anywhere you want to go and while some books may not change the world, they could change your world.
My books to review basket is also overflowing. I almost missed out on a great murder mystery, These Shallow Graves by Jennifer Donnelly in the bookflood https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1415718938 And I’ve enjoyed indie works – hidden treasures, like the ones previously mentioned here https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ and so many more. Luckily I can’t physically see the Netgalley books unless I log on, so I’m pretending I forgot my password (psssh, I know you remember your password). Books have many purposes: entertainment, distraction, learning, companionship, dreaming, but really, like pop culture they’re a way of examining life, a form of philosophy. Long time readers of this blog know I have an ongoing love affair with books, including Open Court’s …and Philosophy series, but there are so many of them, how can I read and review them all? I can’t, but I sure can try. If not on here, then on Goodreads. ie. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1677400824
8) I wish The Newsroom (stunning cast of: Jeff Daniels, Sam Waterston, Emily Mortimer, Jane Fonda, Alison Pill, John Gallagher, Jr., Thomas Sadoski, Dev Patel, Olivia Munn, Marcia Gay Harden, Chris Messina, Kat Dennings, David Harbour, Hope Davis, Kelen Coleman, Grace Gummer, Constance Zimmer, B. J. Novak, etc.) was still on and that more people watched it.
Aaron Sorkin is a master at presenting all sides of, well, everything, logically, rationally, especially politics. We need more of that. Smart, well-balanced writing. To me, Sorkin is the ultimate optimist, an anti-cynic, after all, who else would keep monologuing, writing epic, inspiring speeches and broadcasting them in the hopes he’s actually reaching people, not just cleverly preaching to the converted.
9) So…Politics…That happened. I feel all Alice Through The Looking Glass, what if it’s all a dream? Maybe I went through a mirror, fell down a rabbit hole, opened a door, magically traveled through a wall to Platform 9 3/4, opened a portal, a Stargate, a paratime machine, a window, a crack? I keep hoping I’m in some alternate reality, some parallel Universe and I’ll wake up. Are we BrainDead (funny show, but making me a tad paranoid of the ants that keep invading my place)? Have aliens taken over politicians? Naah, too obvious. As Alexander Hamilton said: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”? Hmmm, how about stand for something with even a hint of logic, intelligence, integrity, or sanity?
Donald Trump, #Brexit, bogus indignation, lies, corruption, murder, abuse, war, poverty, disease, starvation, terrorism (of course, we’ve always got a new foe, it’s important to keep us scared, worried, after all, we buy more that way). Imagine what we could accomplish if we focused on what mattered and would help all people, not just a select few.
It’s too easy to long for a simpler times. Watching Brooklyn (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/08/stand-by-me/) it seems like life was simpler, less complex, less contentious, and it’s true in many ways. But we can’t live in the past. Can’t go back. Can’t unring bells that have been rung. With technology ruling our lives, we have to find ways to somehow enjoy the benefits of here and now without being consumed and overwhelmed by the here and now.
As for Brooklyn the film? It’s a nicely unpretentious offering about the choices we make and those that are made for us. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement, Hanna, City of Ember, The Host, The Lovely Bones, The Grand Budapest Hotel https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/20/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/) is, as always, astonishing, With the depth of her performance you’d think she was 102 instead of 22; she expresses so much, so perfectly, sort of an anti-Kristen Stewart. Rounded out by the talented: Jim Broadbent (Harry Potter, Paddington, Bridget Jones’s Diary https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/19/bridget-joness-diary/ and a million others), Julie Walters (Calendar Girls, Harry Potter, Mama Mia!, Brave, and at least a million others), Emily Bett Rickards (Felicity Smoake in Arrow), Domhnall Gleeson (Star Wars: The Force Awakens https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/05/go-home-star-wars-youre-drunk/ Harry Potter, The Revenant, etc.
10) I’ve thought a lot about why the world more closely resembles the last days of Roman Empire and that line Gena Rowlands uses to chide/teach her moviedaughter, Sandra Bullock in the romcom Hope Floats, “It’s the worst kind of extravagance the way you spend your chances”. What if this applies to the whole world now? We need to stop spending our chances.
We need to stop settling. Stop lowering our expectations. Go out there, spend your chances wisely. We may live in a world supercharged by social media, where we dramatize each problem, instead of looking for solutions. Where gossip, blame, fighting, arguing, cool cynicism, magical thinking, phony outrage, lowest common denominator pandering, digital degrees of The Butter Battle Book, The Lorax, and The Cat in the Hat combined (Dr. Seuss would be so proud) rule the day. Where intelligence is mocked, sensationalism screams loudest, bits and soundbites of information, right or wrong, reign supreme. In fact, it would be really funny, if it wasn’t such a sad mess…
It doesn’t mean we have to buy into it. We can be more. Rise above. Care. Have character, loyalty, integrity, even if it’s not cool to do so. Choose courage. Choose love. Choose hope. Caveat emptor, lest we drown in the muck. You’ll find true power in being kind.
I write this with tears in my eyes and the words to Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) playing over and over in my head: “It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life.” I do, I hope you had the time of your life, I certainly did.
I can’t thank those of you who have supported me enough! Thanks for following, sharing, reblogging, commenting, visiting. I’m not ruling out coming back at some point, I’m just not well enough to continue now.
I’ll still visit my blogging family and friends regularly. Still take part in some parties, social media stuff, etc. Blogging is addictive. When you first do it, you feel like you’re standing naked (sorry for the visual), exposed, and then you start to love it. You have to silence your inner critic (she’s just jealous).
My posts stay here, so please, visit my vaults whenever you’d like, comment, share, I’ll still be here, after all, almost 3 years of blogging later there’s close to 600 posts, like these:
I’m not ruling out returning to this blog or another blog, or bookstores near you (she wrote wistfully). Some time away might recharge my batteries and I will regenerate (I could be the new Doctor in Doctor Who, I think it’s time for a female Doctor). Until then, so long and thanks for all the fish…come on, you think I’d leave without something to do with Douglas Adams, he’s at least partially responsible for my brain. I might be down now, but there’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I’ll get up, dust off, and be back, one way or another!
The sounds of the city
sang their strange song.
The sights pilfered
A Grecian effigy with no arms, but a whimsical flowered spring bonnet.
A tank incongruously set among the budding flowers with a background of lawyers and pizza; lots of cheese and hot grease –
oh, and on the pizza too.
I past my old doctor’s office, now a frat house. I smiled, remembering Dr. Shearer who raised sheep and around the corner lived members of the band, Sheep Look Up (ewe can’t make this stuff up, sorry, that was baaad)
I wish to go back, for a visit, in a time machine (preferably with David Tennant as The Doctor; come on, Doctor Who fans, who would you travel with?). I’d tell myself how little I knew. Be nicer to some. Apologize to others. Tell others to go to h-e-double hockey sticks (it’s Canada, eh, and they deserved it). Maybe see Prince in concert singing Purple Rain, Darling Nikki, When Doves Cry, 1999, The Ballad of Dorothy Parker, etc. once more. #RIPPrince
I smiled as a big RV chugged by, making me think of the latest installment of the Vacation movie series. Campy? Maybe even glampy! Cheesy? More than the aforementioned lawyers and pizza. Tacky? I expect nothing less. Might’ve watched it sooner if I’d known it had Chris Hemsworth (Thor, The Avengers, The Huntsman stuff) and Norman Reedus (Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead). Small parts (bet no one says that often), but memorable, if creepy. I may never look at them the same again. Oh, who am I kidding?
I glimpsed a bank turned into a restaurant and vice versa, hmmm, wonder which saw more money? Shuddering, I thought of The Big Short. Awesome cast (Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Melissa Leo, Selena Gomez)…
Snappy writing, but an altogether terrifying horror film. Versions of Eve of Destruction – Barry McGuire, The Turtles (not ninja), Johnny Thunders, The Pogues, D.O.A, The Dickies, and Public Enemy blared in my brain as the obvious soundtrack for this film. Why worry about nuclear threats, terrorists, natural disasters, and disease when assuredly the scourge of greed and corruption will wipe us out first?
I’d left plenty of time for myself, better early than late. Cars whizzed past, buildings blurred, making me curious, how many were Turo and Airbnb? Would you, dear readers, rent your car and/or home?
Finally there, I folded myself into the 3 foldy gown…I had better luck than the full moony older gentleman, thankfully an attendant helped him; laughing at old or infirm people isn’t good sport. With two Donnas there, I got ‘Donna P’ (say it out loud…there you go). Tests done, I started back. I waved at a tabby cat reclining regally on a window ledge who obviously didn’t feel I was worthy of his time. Correct, the bird swooping past, more fascinating by far.
Home again, I happily listened to my son’s monologues. I knew what my doctor would say – not urgent (doctor code for: it’s not cancer), but I need to see you soon; kind man, he’s happy when he can actually help me. I was spot on.
Nora Ephron’s words drifted into my mind, “everything is copy” (check out the documentary of the same name). Inspired me to write this and think, wow, my blog was on the edge of 200,000 views (now over). Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined so much blog love. Thank you all.
And thanks for taking this walk with me, you made it easier. Also, Happy Earth Day!!!
Some of you, dear readers, may have noticed I changed my tagline, “Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure”. Why? I’m trying it out, after all, I feel not quite as obscure, my meanderings a tad less vague, ok, this post wasn’t the best example of that…although I’m still broke, despite the unused donate button, lol.
I thought, “Wish you were here” worked better because, well, I do.
I had too much to dream last night.
I feel like I have a dream hangover.
I woke from my confusing, at times,
A Christmas Carol-like dream
(unfortunately no Muppets), but
filled with revelations.
First, I was visited by Donald Trump who told me 3 others would visit that night. It was terrifying, he wore the chains of greed, intolerance, and suffering he’d forged link by link…it seemed like there was more of the hairspray than grave about him.
Then Colin Firth showed up as my Ghost of Christmas Past in the white shirt from Pride and Prejudice (you know the one ladies). This dream just got a whole lot better. He reminded me that all things past are actually always still with us…
1. Christmas songs are playing everywhere yet I rarely hear Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron by The Royal Guardsman. It’s my all-time fav, it’s about peace on Earth, goodwill, and about how even the worst of enemies can put aside their differences, if only for a little while…we sure need more of that.
2. Dean Cain and many others we haven’t seen in a while do still have careers, kinda, hey, I like Christmas movies.
3. And even on a crummy morning a gingerbread man still makes his bed with cookie sheets.
Then Taylor Kinney (without fiancée, Lady Gaga…hey, it’s my dream) floated in as my Ghost of Christmas Present (subconscious you’re so good to me) dressed as Fireman and reminded me that despite the season, it’s getting hot in here. Whether it was just a hot flash or I’m watching too much Chicago Fire (is that possible?), I woke up in a sweat. Back to my dream, rescue me.
4. Christmas is about giving. Though I’m broke and obscure I still believe in giving to others and weirdly, sometimes you get stuff back. For example, by donating, I won a month gym membership and a few other goodies. So now I can be buff like Arnold, though I’m saying this in Schwarzeneggar accent, the buff part seems unlikely.
5. I’ve noticed my Mom (a senior) and my son (a teen with Autism) have a much fuller social life than I do, I need to work on that. And the only action I’m getting is from my latest mammogram.
6. I don’t have to wait in line for some guy in a red suit to make me promises, I’ll make some to myself.
My Ghost of Christmas Future was Norman Reedus, well, actually Daryl Dixon (my dream, so he’s holding a cat reminding us to Shop Cruelty Free https://www.crueltyfreeinternational.org/ – I’d like to add, that goes for people as well), who showed me that…
7. Christmas could be a little late this year, instead of making toys, Santa and the elves are already lined up to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
8. The Christmas feeling could be there, even without the gifts, the lights, the decorations, chocolate (this one is iffy), turkey and toys, even without the Christmas.
9. Ordinary rules of time and space don’t apply to Santa or The Doctor (Hello Sweetie, Doctor Who Christmas Special on almost Boxing Day – Christmas but late, can’t wait, but it’s times like these I miss David Tennant), but they do apply to us, we only have so much time in this world.
Can happiness or success be measured by what we have instead of the joy and comfort we bring to others? Do we really think in the end, we’ll care about how much we shopped, what car we drove, how big our home was, if we had the latest iPhone, or what we were wearing? Or will we remember the good times, the fun times, the laughter, the kindness, the little moments.
This season, remember a date on a calendar is just that, but life, life is for living, every day.
Oh yes, and if you don’t see me around here for a bit, I’ve checked myself into Clementine rehab.
I can quit anytime I want.