Posted in Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Family, Movies, Star Wars, Uncategorized

These Aren’t The Gifts You’re Looking For

Posted on by D. Parker

1christmas191Twas the week before Christmas
(almost two till my birthday)…

When all through the blogosphere…
not a blogger was stirring…
ok, some are stirring, but mostly cocktails…

Yet posts were still flying out with hopes that readers might give them a shout!

Christmas isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for bloggers, readers and many bloggers are off prepping for the big day, partying, waiting in line for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and of course, searching for perfect gifts.

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Here are some, er, helpful last-minute gift ideas for those hard to buy for folks:

1. O Christmas tree! As a cautionary note, unlike in the movies, apparently it’s ‘frowned upon’, some might even say illegal, to just randomly cut trees down. Who knew?

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2. Draw happy faces on all their socks/nylons so they’ll feel happy as they start each day. Or sneak into their house or room and draw a happy face on their wall, or mirror in red lipstick or paint. Wait, is that creepy? Nah, it’ll be a fun surprise.

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3. Fix something for them: TV, car, fridge, cellphone, alarm system, computer, appliances, sewing machine, etc. Even if none were broken (but might be after), it’s the thought that counts.

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4. Donate to a cause in their name or better yet, start a foundation in their name, I’m sure it won’t affect their taxes…much.

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5. Sing them a song, but only if your voice doesn’t resemble fingernails on a chalkboard, mastodons dying in a tar pit, Bridget Jones singing, or my Mom singing (love you, please don’t sing).

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6. Indie books. Mass-produced can be good, but a steady diet can leave you feeling flat. Best thing about indie, less cookie cutter, same goes for everything. Like indie author/blogger, A.H. Browne who kindly beamed aliens into my email. As they scurried around my brain, I 1christmas177was laughingly sucked into space to cavort (hey, I can cavort with the best of them) through the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere. That sounds familiar, did I spend time there in my youth, next to CBGB, right? Book One of The Otherwhere Chronicles made me reluctant to return to Earth, like when you’re at a party, it’s past time to go home, but you think, just a few minutes more. If you’re feeling brave and in need of some fun, visit Arthur at http://pouringmyartout.com/ – don’t say I didn’t warn you! Any indie authors reading this, please add links in the comment box below where your work can be found (heck, it’s Christmas, anyone add links).

And here’s more indie talent (and keep checking the comments for indie author links):
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/03/sweet-dreams-are-made-of-this/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/09/you-may-say-im-a-dreamer/

7. Taco ties, socks, and hats. Also available in: lasagna, kung pao, pizza, chocolate, wine, beer, hamburger, and curry flavours. Hungry? Bored? Clothes never tasted so good!

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8. Make a sculpture, coat, hat, scarf, or quilt out of your hair and nail clippings – natural, organic, and very, very personal.

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9. Lint kittens and puppies. Easy to keep – no walks, no food, soft and cuddly, and simple to house train. Do not expose to water.

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10. Honesty – they may not appreciate it at first, but it might be the best gift ever, someday.

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So, these aren’t the gifts you’re looking for (except the indie books), in the end, the best gift of all is still…you!

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

All the best in 2016!

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251 thoughts on “These Aren’t The Gifts You’re Looking For”

  1. My favorite was the “It’s a trap” meme. Once Star Wars is at NetFlix I might have a chance to see it but I’d miss half of it at the movie theater–too busy closing my eyes or making trips to the bathroom.

    James Stewart would be over 100 if he were still alive (some things even viagra can’t fix). Gift cards are a nice way to get around the-gift-from-hell, but then if the person forgets about it the store keeps the profits. Here’s a fun gift: Make chocolate cookies with a viagra surprise and see if the recipients notice. Hmmmm… I might be on to something. 🙂

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    1. Funny cause it’s true.;)
      I’m not braving the crowds anytime soon and if I miss SW:TFA, it will be somewhere soon enough.
      Wow, over 100, I love his stuff.
      I use gift cards right away, I don’t want to give the stores anything lol 😉
      Hmmm, that might be quite a surprise, for who know who… 😉
      Wishing you a wonderful 2016! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. I’m a bit late as, well you said it above – Christmas 🙂 so Happy New Year and thanks for the post, I was smiling as I read it. The Bridget Jones singing and personally made gifts were my favs 😉

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  5. Hi there!
    I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year full of fun, happiness, health and prosperity.
    May you blogging be a entertaining as it was 2015✨

    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” Steve Martin

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  6. Pingback: Ramblin' Writer's Darcy Wordsmithery Breakdown #FridayRecommends - MARIAN ALLEN, AUTHOR LADY

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words and for the shout-out. I see I’m in good company here. 🙂
      I’m glad you found my blog somewhere which lead me to you. I’m following you and will share. Hopefully we can virtually visit often. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for the lovely reblog, Felicia and it makes me happy to hear I could pass along some giggles, sometimes the pressure at this time of year makes us forget first and foremost there such be joy. 🙂
      Big hugs and thanks again. Hope the week ahead treats you kindly. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Love the “Draw smiley faces on all their socks!” (Although my kids are super protective of their socks) – maybe I’ll draw them on their drawers and I don’t mean in their dresser.

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    1. lol That’s getting to the ‘bottom’ of the matter. Enjoy the Christmas season anyway you can! 😉
      Thanks for dropping by, the best part, Sarah, I found your blog. Hope the week is treating you well so far. 🙂

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    1. I love to wander along the path of memories, always such an interesting journey.
      She certainly couldn’t sing in ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’, but in a charming way lol 😉
      Thanks for having us, it’s always a treat, dear Janice. 🙂

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  14. Pingback: Dear Santa, I Can Explain…12 Links of Christmas Blog Party – @yadadarcyyada | ' Ace Social & Media News '

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this Ian and I hope you can drop back and share some of your links for others to find you. Thanks again and hope this week is treating you well so far. 🙂

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