pizza – yadadarcyyada

Canada, COVID-19, Fibromyalgia, Star Wars

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

Posted on May 4, 2020May 1, 2021 by D. Parker

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…(you know you have to clap now, do it, just do it!).

Your job’s (bet Guaranteed Basic Income doesn’t look so “Commie” now huh?) now a stay-at-home-joke, you’re more-or-less broke…

Your love life’s “virtually” D.O.A.

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear (if you remember how to drive).

When it hasn’t been your minute, your hour, your day, your week, your month
Or even your year (Any 2020 hindsight advice?).

But I’ll be here for you (in my home)
When the rain starts to pour

I’ll be here for you (in my home)
Even if we weren’t “FRIENDS” before

I’ll be here for you (in my home)
‘Cause you’re probably here for me too (in your home)

You’re still in bed, or the tub, or the tub is now your bed, at ten (AM, PM, who knows these days?).

And for many, “essential” work (less work if people could listen/read/try) never seems to stop…

Your breakfast might be lunch or dinner (those can all be chocolate during a pandemic, right?), then again, who the Hell knows or cares?

Things are going great, if you’re counting the number of swears…

Your mother (Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, especially my Mom https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/09/happy-mothers-day-i-just-ate-your-gift/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ ) warned you there’d be days like these (not weeks or months), but she didn’t tell you all this could really happen, seriously, this is for real…

it seems surreal, but yup, happening:

We’d be streaming incessantly (beyond Netflix, YouTube and Amazon Prime). I’ve been testing all the “Free Trials” of streaming services, I’ve tried: “Acorn TV”, “Disney+”, “Crave/HBO/TMN”, “Britbox”, and heading toward “Apple TV”, “National Geographic”, “Smithsonian”, and “Shudder” – who knows how far I’ll get, drinking my tea, watching me some “free”…

Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).

We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.

Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).

Trying to learn languages. For me, I’m trying to learn the important stuff first, for example: “Spero tu stia passando una bella giornata miei adorati lettori, avete pasta per me? “(“I hope you are having a nice day my beloved readers, do you have pasta for me?”); “ **Ich brauche Kuchen” (“I need cake”); “¿Donde estan las galletas?” (“Where are the cookies?”); “Je veux de la pizza” (“I want pizza”)…just some essential phrases.**

Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).

We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):

Coronavirus
COVID-19
SARS-CoV-2
Physical/social distancing
R0/reproductive rate
Drug repurposing
Viral shedding
Flattening/flatten the curve
Planking/plank the curve
Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)
Contact tracing
Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)
Community transmission/spread
Fomite
Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)
Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)
Nasopharyngeal swabs
Oropharyngeal swabs (updates from Dr. Fauci, Dr. Tam, Dr. Birx and others are like watching police dramas, they all talk about swabs a lot, “Did you get the swabs?”, “I got the swabs”, “Did you need another swab?”, “What do ya mean we’re out of swabs? Get more swabs!”, “We need billions of swabs!”. Police shows and pandemics, brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, but that’s a whole other story https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/18/this-is-not-a-toy/)
PPE (personal protective equipment)

Vaccines https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/04/sharks-do-get-cancer/ (RNA) – I’ve seen/read enough sci-fi/apocalypse stuff to know this can lead to bad things including but not limited to: zombies, rabid living people, mutations, bad breath, bad acting, and bad Kharma…

ACE-2 is a gateway receptor (who knows what it will lead to?).

Be comforted by bedtime stories from: Dolly Parton, David Tennant, Oprah, Stephen Fry, Betty White, Rami Malek, James McAvoy, Sarah Silverman, Chris Pine, Kristen Bell, Tom Hardy – ooooh, can he read them in Bane (he was so ahead of his time, he worse a mask, quarantined a city and cancelled all events, including sports) or Venom voices too, please?

And James Earl Jones – seriously, Darth Vader reads me to sleep, “May The Fourth Be With You” and Beware the “Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth” and too much spicy food on Cinco de Mayo could cause Revenge of the Shi…well, you know, moderation, ok?.

Worrying about Murder Hornets, really, who came up with that name, at least make it alliterative, how about “Homicide Hornets” or “Horror Hornets”? Like this: “Slaughter Slugs”, “Maiming Moths”, “Assassin Ants”, “Snuff Snails”…

Getting slightly ever so bored with: baking (getting too warm now anyway); is there enough testing, not enough testing (it’s making me testy);

**Zoomfail hashtags (don’t you wish you’d bought shares in Zoom?); “Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo”, kidding, who could ever get tired of that?,**

people arguing about “Mandela Effect” online, hmmm, or maybe that never happened.

Making masks, cleaning masks, remembering to bring your masks, remembering not to wear a hockey mask to the grocery store…so many things to remember, what was I talking about again?

Being on video, seriously, before all this I hated going on camera or video, now it’s, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Zoom, no, no, not that close!”.

People actually listening to someone that lies incessantly, slurs their words, and suggests we could kill COVID-19 by injecting disinfectant into the body and/or UV light, no buddy, why are you like this, why are you the way you are?

That we’d be staying so much: “Stay Home”, “Stay Safe”, “Stay Connected”, “Stay At Home”, “Stay Healthy”, Sit/”Stay”/Roll Over, “Stay in place”, “Stay trippy dude”, “Stay the course”, “Stay fresh” (seriously, you need to shower even if you’re isolated alone)…

I can easily imagine self-isolation has lead to re-enacting musicals with Star Wars action figures, Muppets and/or hand shadows, I’m sure someone somewhere is doing this (please, please, please send me links).

That our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (Canada rules!) would tell us the things, the things he knows that stop you from “speaking moistly”?!?

I’ll be here for you
When the someone knocks on your door (gasp!)
I’ll be here for you
When you’re dreaming Obama is still POTUS

I’ll be here for you
‘Cause you’re here for me too (on Zoom?)

No one could ever know me (cause I’m wearing a mask)
No one could ever see me (cause I’m doing a flask task at home)

Seems now more people know
What it’s like to be…chronically me?

Someone to Facetime (Skype/Zoom/Messenger, text, call, whatever) the day with.

Make it through Quarantine Life (only going out for necessities of life, I don’t know about toilet paper, but donuts count, right?) with…

Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah

I’ll be here for you
When the sun starts to shine

I’ll be here for you
When for the great outdoors we pine…

I’ll be here for you
‘Cause we’re (patiently?) waiting for a sign

**I’ll be here for you (speaking moistly)**

**I’ll be here for you (singing: Andrea Bocelli; Ultravox; Ramones; Ed Sheeran; Elton John; Cher (if we could turn back time); Green Day – don’t wannabe an, well, you-know-what;**

Foo Fighters; Nivana; The Beatles – “Don’t Come Together”, “We All Live in Self-Quarantine”;

U2, The Police “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/14/dont-stand-so-close-to-me/

and Queen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/, and so many more, all totally, totally, totally in tune).

I’ll be here for you (sissying my quarantine fashion, picture me rocking Mickey Mouse leggings, Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt, Paddington coat, and Nirvana baseball cap https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/03/17/im-still-standing-yeah-yeah-yeah/, strangely enough, no pictures, that I know of, while putting red ribbons on the trees to say “Thank You – no thanks are ever ever ever going to be enough for our essential workers, but you could start with simple steps: Be Kind, Stay Home, Wash Your Hands).

Hope you’re here for me too (but like, not here here, like, there but emotionally here, together but apart, but connected, so non-contagious virtual hugs and chats and tweets, comments, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, and all that, but over there while I’m over here, but we’ll both be there, well, here for each other…I’m confused. I need more simplicity https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressive-simplification/ What about you?).

Chocolate, kindness, motivational, social media

Welcome To Your Life

Posted on March 25, 2019September 20, 2019 by D. Parker

Welcome
to
your
life
there’s
no
turning
back
Even
while
we
weep
You will find us
acting on our worst behaviour
turning our backs on Mother Nature
Everybody wants to rule the world

***https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/16/everybody-wants-to-rule-the-world/*So glad we almost made it**

So sad we have to face it

who is really ruling our world?

Say that you’ll never never never need it

One headline – why believe it?

Stop letting our world be ruled…

Stereotyping is the scourge of our time. All women are this, all men are that, good guys always win, life is fair, fat people are lazy…religion, race, wealth, poverty, sex,diets, politics, illness – everything is painted with the stereotype brush…wait, did I just stereotype stereotyping? Make no mistake, hate is the easy way. Different = Hate. Don’t agree with you = Hate. Blame everyone for your problems. Don’t change, just dig in. Lies, make them big, no, small won’t do. Feed them what they want to hear, while they pretend to care about those they hold dear.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss

A lie is still a lie
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

And when politicians woo
They still say “I love you”
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings

As lies goes by

Promises of jobs and tax cuts
Never out-of-date
Tapping into bias with a passion

Spilling jealousy and hate

It’s an age-old story,

sensationalism wins

over love and glory.

We pick and choose

what truths to hold self-evident…

her truth, his truth,

my truth, your truth, the truth…

flippity-floppity, they can’t all be true.

That no one can deny

It’s still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome liars
As time goes by…

Storytelling, once used to pass along useful information, to keep people safe or make their lives easier. Cavegal/Caveguy didn’t recount that story about almost being eaten by a Saber Tooth tiger to get Retweeted, or get Likes on Instagram. Nor did they stop to film it, or get a Selfie #catscratchfever

No, she/he told exciting tales, not to get attention, to influence, to build her/his brand, but to warn others not to go picking berries on that path where those tigers live #berryscary #noyabbadabbadooforyou

We’re addicts, we need another fix. Oh we can stop anytime, we don’t need it, then a ping, a new text, email, tweet, update, tag, post, whatever. We’re all about the yarn, the tale, the story…

We crave all the grimy little details, especially the ones that sound like they could be real, the facts say otherwise, but they’re boring, tell us more about the lies, fraud, sex, the scandal of it all, no matter how insane or impossible it seems…tell us more, more, more!

Is it true? Who cares? Jump on that bandwagon wherever it may take you. Why worry, got to get another hit. As long as we get our momentary rush, who cares about the consequences?

Do people even want to rule the world anymore, or are they content to just stare at a screen and watch the world burn, as long as they can feed on the flames of the story as we crackle? Remember the good old days when there used to be a line-up to rule the world: aliens, supernatural beings, crime lords, hackers, scammers, Dystopian Future leaders seem especially bent on keeping control (time is fleeting…),

megalomaniacs with delusions of grandeur, terrorists, corporate terrorists, politicians, super villains (better than average villains or just wearing capes?), Huns, Hordes (so many Hordes),

puppets, paupers, pirates, poets, pawns and kings (they’ve been up and down and over and out and they know one thing, each time they find themselves flat on their face, they pick themselves up and get back in the race), and who can forget Vikings, evil scientists, and laboratory mice whose genes have been spliced (sounds painful and wrong – free Pinky and The Brain!).

But for those who still have an interest in ruling the world, here’s an Easy Peasy guide:

Make someone’s day with a smile or a kind word. Do something they need, not just someone you think they need. Help them as they need help.

Be part of the good, even if it means not taking that tempting/way-too-easy dig at someone (just as a completely random example, Donald Trump).

Jump rope, Jump Force, Shonen Jump, Jump Jump Jump Around (I Came To Get Down), Jump Up and Down for Joy, jump-start your day, jump-start a car – just don’t jump to conclusions.

See the world from someone’s else point of view, even on their worst day. Then someone else. And someone else. The sky’s the limit and maybe not even then.

Care. Don’t just pretend to care. Do it, surely it must take the same effort, right?

Don’t attack, don’t react – act on your best instincts.

Do something you didn’t think you could do. Except murder. Don’t do murder. Or anything else bad, let’s start again, do something good you didn’t think you could do.

Grow food instead of a portfolio.

Be yourself. Unless you can be Groot, then be Groot (I am Groot).
Don’t try to control, be a part of something. Join a club (not a gang), volunteer, find people with common interests, goals, and values (beware of diving right in, some groups and people can be intense, hey, I didn’t directly mention Game of Thrones fans https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/07/you-know-youre-obsessed-with-game-of-thrones-when/), find time to find others.
Laugh (I’ll help, Jann Arden has a comedy series, Jann – watch, laugh, repeat). Cry (or laugh and cry thanks to Ricky Gervais, his Netflix series, After Life may just change your life, it changed mine). Dream, wonder, rejoice – seriously, if you’re still not watching The Orville, I, I, I just don’t…So go ahead and feel, feel frustrated, sad, lonely, happy, hopeful, hopeless, scared, joyful, jealous, disappointed, angry, but don’t think those feelings are facts; just to reiterate, feelings are not facts.
Show and share compassion, patience, empathy, understanding – all the money spent on piles of flowers, stuffed animals, balloons and candles, the endless moldering memorials – give that money to those in need. Isn’t that a better way to remember those who have been lost?

Offer your support and some Random or Not-So-Random Acts Of Kindness, but try something different, if you’re in line for coffee, you can afford a coffee (or think you can, that’s a whole other issue), the only kindness you’re giving is to the coffee place. Give that money to those in need, not just in need of a caffeine fix.

Comfort, inspire, don’t require something in return.

Anger, greed and fear are so tempting, calling a siren’s song, ‘give in to me, it will feel soooo good’ and it could, briefly, but it hurts others; if that makes you feel good, you need some serious help.

Instead of trying to be right, be happy. Instead of being closed, be open. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/01/26/two-can-keep-a-secret-if-one-of-them-is-dead/
Be part of something kind. Easy to pick on someone, more work to pick them up. Instead of rising to the bait, rise together.

Share something you want to keep all to yourself, for me, chocolate (they’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands, then again, if I share, we’ll both be in bliss).
Answer a child’s toy phone instead of your phone. Be there, in the here and now, tomorrow isn’t certain, but I’m certain we should be enjoying today. Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back so let’s enjoy a world where there’s enough for everyone – enough food, enough shelter, enough kindness, enough hope, enough compassion, enough love.

This blog post brought to you today by Donna’s Brain, now filled with 100% more:

Tears For Fears.
Politics/politicians/political machinations.
Casablanca.
Toy Story (4, 5, 75, whatever, just keep ’em coming, we’ll watch, we promise).
Frank Sinatra (anyone else feeling a Rat Pack vibe these days?).
The Walking Dead (more Negan please, gots to get me a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fix).

Agatha Christie – the new Ordeal By Innocence – go catch some red herring.
Organization (shouldn’t that be a four-letter word?).
Buffy (RIP Luke Perry).
The Orville (stop taking breaks, work 24/7 365 please and thank you).
Kindness (it really does matter).
Harry Potter (I don’t know if the Sorting Hat could figure me out right now).
Hope.
Avengers (and of course, Guardians of the Galaxy – I get it, I still listen to my Walkman).
E.T. (Text home?).
Love.
Struggles.
Supernatural (300 has a whole new meaning, they get my jonesing for some JDM and pizza).
Poverty.
Passion.
Peace.
Pests.
Pizza.
The Handmaid’s Tale (as we start to live it we should accept that good people don’t always win, but that doesn’t mean they should stop being good and yes, some rich people believe the ‘screw the rules I have money’ motto, but money doesn’t equal right just right now).
Exhaustion (is there a place past exhaustion, like mega-exhaustion?).
Secret City (is this a series or a documentary, it’s so difficult to tell anymore…).

Books (more on that later).

Why is it every Spring I feel (doesn’t make it true) like I need more socks, pizza (did I already mention pizza, it’s worth another shout out, right?), donuts, Gilmore Girls, maybe Easter eggs (only the chocolate ones, I can have eggs anytime) and cake.
Loss.
Thinking of how fix the root causes of all the anger, hate, loneliness, trauma;
compassion.
Game of Thrones (anyway to get Jason Momoa back in flashbacks, time warps, something?).
Earth Day https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/22/all-the-ways-im-told-im-stupid-everyday/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/04/15/tra-la-la-tra-la-la-la/
Psych (why aren’t they bring this show back, at least a movie or limited run series, come on, I’m desperately in need of a happy place!).
Change (not all change is good, not all change is bad).
Laughter.
The Good Fight (keep it up).
SEO, streaming, dreaming, superheroes, raw water, CBD-infused anything and everything, detox, botox, Cheetos dust (is that a must?), ruffles, truffles, bigger phones, smaller minds, ALF, BTS, Bill and Ted (what’s the newest Excellent Adventure, finding their dentures?), cryptocurrency, Wikileaks (maybe they just need WikiDepends), Julian Assange, rading #Area51 (#StormiArea51), self-driving cars (scare me less than drivers driving cars), flying cars (still not as scary as people driving cars on the ground), goat yoga (yoga goat?), inflated lips, inflated hips, inflated prices, fanny packs are back (what?!?), Momo, CYA, Apple (is it really an #AppleEvent without Steve Jobs? Maybe Tim Apple will be there, would Tim Cook be a cooked apple, but I digress.), FOMO, Snapple, GMO – oh no, my brain is melting;
Storms.
Ultravox and pancakes and not necessarily in that order.
SpaceX.
Boomtown Rats and Queen (feeling a Live Aid vibe here).
Aurora Borealis.
U2 (What if I found what I was looking for and didn’t know that’s what it was?).
Downton Abbey followed by the urban sequel, Downtown New York Abbey.
Stranger Things (welcome to my life).
Food waste.
Murder (not doing it, writing about it or reading about it or watching it, wait, I’m sensing a theme).
Why the birds are conspiring to sing their ‘songs’ outside my window, exactly what subliminal messages are they putting into my brain…
I’ve been going through some stuff as you see from my ‘slow blogging’, but not slow braining, but I keep bouncing back, Don’t Stop Me Now
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ I guess the biggest thing I’ve been struggling with, concerning blogging and social media is, am I part of the problem, am I an enabler? Am I feeding the beast? I try not to, but readily admit, I’ve had varying degrees of success. I move forward with a new resolve…I hope.

Glad to be back and always to be here with all of you.

Big bloggy hugs and welcome to your life, young, or old, or in between, the rest is up to you.

Movies, Uncategorized

Wish You Were Here

Posted on April 22, 2016April 26, 2016 by D. Parker

I walked
a path
I hadn’t
walked
in years.
The sounds of the city
sang their strange song.
The sights pilfered
my attention.
A Grecian effigy with no arms, but a whimsical flowered spring bonnet.
A tank incongruously set among the budding flowers with a background of lawyers and pizza; lots of cheese and hot grease –
oh, and on the pizza too.

I past my old doctor’s office, now a frat house. I smiled, remembering Dr. Shearer who raised sheep and around the corner lived members of the band, Sheep Look Up (ewe can’t make this stuff up, sorry, that was baaad)

I wish to go back, for a visit, in a time machine (preferably with David Tennant as The Doctor; come on, Doctor Who fans, who would you travel with?). I’d tell myself how little I knew. Be nicer to some. Apologize to others. Tell others to go to h-e-double hockey sticks (it’s Canada, eh, and they deserved it). Maybe see Prince in concert singing Purple Rain, Darling Nikki, When Doves Cry, 1999, The Ballad of Dorothy Parker, etc. once more. #RIPPrince

I smiled as a big RV chugged by, making me think of the latest installment of the Vacation movie series. Campy? Maybe even glampy! Cheesy? More than the aforementioned lawyers and pizza. Tacky? I expect nothing less. Might’ve watched it sooner if I’d known it had Chris Hemsworth (Thor, The Avengers, The Huntsman stuff) and **Norman Reedus (Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead)**. Small parts (bet no one says that often), but memorable, if creepy. I may never look at them the same again. Oh, who am I kidding?

I glimpsed a bank turned into a restaurant and vice versa, hmmm, wonder which saw more money? Shuddering, I thought of The Big Short. Awesome cast (Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Melissa Leo, Selena Gomez)…

Snappy writing, but an altogether terrifying horror film. Versions of Eve of Destruction – Barry McGuire, The Turtles (not ninja), Johnny Thunders, The Pogues, D.O.A, The Dickies, and Public Enemy blared in my brain as the obvious soundtrack for this film. Why worry about nuclear threats, terrorists, natural disasters, and disease when assuredly the scourge of greed and corruption will wipe us out first?

I’d left plenty of time for myself, better early than late. Cars whizzed past, buildings blurred, making me curious, how many were Turo and Airbnb? Would you, dear readers, rent your car and/or home?

Finally there, I folded myself into the 3 foldy gown…I had better luck than the full moony older gentleman, thankfully an attendant helped him; laughing at old or infirm people isn’t good sport. With two Donnas there, I got ‘Donna P’ (say it out loud…there you go). Tests done, I started back. I waved at a tabby cat reclining regally on a window ledge who obviously didn’t feel I was worthy of his time. Correct, the bird swooping past, more fascinating by far.

Home again, I happily listened to my son’s monologues. I knew what my doctor would say – not urgent (doctor code for: it’s not cancer), but I need to see you soon; kind man, he’s happy when he can actually help me. I was spot on.

Nora Ephron’s words drifted into my mind, “everything is copy” (check out the documentary of the same name). Inspired me to write this and think, wow, my blog was on the edge of 200,000 views (now over). Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined so much blog love. Thank you all.

And thanks for taking this walk with me, you made it easier. Also, Happy Earth Day!!!

Some of you, dear readers, may have noticed I changed my tagline, “Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure”. Why? I’m trying it out, after all, I feel not quite as obscure, my meanderings a tad less vague, ok, this post wasn’t the best example of that…although I’m still broke, despite the unused donate button, lol.

I thought, “Wish you were here” worked better because, well, I do.

Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Family, Movies, Star Wars, Uncategorized

These Aren’t The Gifts You’re Looking For

Posted on December 18, 2015December 5, 2019 by D. Parker

Twas the week before Christmas
(almost two till my birthday)…

When all through the blogosphere…
not a blogger was stirring…
ok, some are stirring, but mostly cocktails…

Yet posts were still flying out with hopes that readers might give them a shout!

Christmas isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for bloggers, readers and many bloggers are off prepping for the big day, partying, waiting in line for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and of course, searching for perfect gifts.

Here are some, er, helpful last-minute gift ideas for those hard to buy for folks:

1. O Christmas tree! As a cautionary note, unlike in the movies, apparently it’s ‘frowned upon’, some might even say illegal, to just randomly cut trees down. Who knew?

2. Draw happy faces on all their socks/nylons so they’ll feel happy as they start each day. Or sneak into their house or room and draw a happy face on their wall, or mirror in red lipstick or paint. Wait, is that creepy? Nah, it’ll be a fun surprise.

3. Fix something for them: TV, car, fridge, cellphone, alarm system, computer, appliances, sewing machine, etc. Even if none were broken (but might be after), it’s the thought that counts.

4. Donate to a cause in their name or better yet, start a foundation in their name, I’m sure it won’t affect their taxes…much.

5. Sing them a song, but only if your voice doesn’t resemble fingernails on a chalkboard, mastodons dying in a tar pit, Bridget Jones singing, or my Mom singing (love you, please don’t sing).

6. Indie books. Mass-produced can be good, but a steady diet can leave you feeling flat. Best thing about indie, less cookie cutter, same goes for everything. Like indie author/blogger, A.H. Browne who kindly beamed aliens into my email. As they scurried around my brain, I was laughingly sucked into space to cavort (hey, I can cavort with the best of them) through the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere. That sounds familiar, did I spend time there in my youth, next to CBGB, right? Book One of The Otherwhere Chronicles made me reluctant to return to Earth, like when you’re at a party, it’s past time to go home, but you think, just a few minutes more. If you’re feeling brave and in need of some fun, visit Arthur at http://pouringmyartout.com/ – don’t say I didn’t warn you! Any indie authors reading this, please add links in the comment box below where your work can be found (heck, it’s Christmas, anyone add links).

And here’s more indie talent (and keep checking the comments for indie author links):
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/03/sweet-dreams-are-made-of-this/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/09/you-may-say-im-a-dreamer/

7. Taco ties, socks, and hats. Also available in: lasagna, kung pao, pizza, chocolate, wine, beer, hamburger, and curry flavours. Hungry? Bored? Clothes never tasted so good!

**8. Make a sculpture, coat, hat, scarf, or quilt out of your hair and nail clippings – natural, organic, and very, very personal.**

9. Lint kittens and puppies. Easy to keep – no walks, no food, soft and cuddly, and simple to house train. Do not expose to water.

10. Honesty – they may not appreciate it at first, but it might be the best gift ever, someday.

So, these aren’t the gifts you’re looking for (except the indie books), in the end, the best gift of all is still…you!

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

All the best in 2016!

Cats, Christmas, Cooking, Holidays

How To Get Away With Christmas

Posted on November 22, 2015December 3, 2017 by D. Parker

Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays, try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins in July with brief visits from other holidays. Don’t limit yourself to Christmassy stuff…be glad you’re not invited to a Game of Thrones Christmas party; see who survived (Christmas) on The Walking Dead; try to figure out what they’re cooking on Breaking Bad; or catch up with Mrs. Brown’s Boys (Dear Santa, I can explain…). Soon it will be January (sorry, I skipped ahead, was I wrong in assuming you don’t have anyone for New Year’s Eve either?), then you’ll have a few weeks to recover before the Valentine’s Day trauma begins, maybe.

2. Gently ‘add’ yourself to someone else’s Christmas or add someone to yours.

3. Find dating sites/apps and go on a holiday dating spree. Eggnog your way through stories about his/her ex, mom, ex’s mom, work, football, baseball, hockey, fashion, cars…Who knows, maybe you’ll find a Christmas miracle.

4. Adjust your expectations. Social media is one long high school reunion. Everyone is wearing their best outfit, just lost weight, and sharing only highlights of their life.

5. Read, write, blog, sing, bake, work, clean, declutter, exercise, sleep, go to a movie…flashback to the 70s – dance, wear turtlenecks, bellbottoms, ponchos, and go see Star Wars (or not). It’s all good.

6. Have a Single Christmas Party (not for singles, just you, be your own party).

7. Ignore the season, the gaudy decorations, the commercialism, multiple Santas in multiple malls (unless you work there, try to stay out of the malls altogether) and create a Michael-Bublé-Bing-Crosby-Burl-Ives-free #safespace.

8. Start a new tradition with yourself or others, hopefully one that doesn’t involve eating your feelings (and don’t forget legal).

9. Help others this season – the best way to keep your mind off your problems is to help others with their problems.

10. Under no circumstances drink too heavily, that could lead to calling, texting, or emailing an ex, or watching other people having family time, especially through their windows. Though oddly specific, it’s good advice.

It’s not about what you have, what you get, or even who you’re with, this season is about anything being possible.

Want to know how to get away with Christmas? Simple, enjoy the season and each day, not the way everyone tells you is enjoyable, but the way you enjoy it.

I triple dog dare you.

Blogs, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Can You Feel The Blog Love Tonight?

Posted on November 7, 2015November 7, 2015 by D. Parker

Turns out, being an adult is hard work.

Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.

Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling)
You used to like me on my blog post
Late or early when I needed blog love
And I know when that hotline pinged
It could only mean one thing…
But these days, you’ve become a ghost
***Wonder* if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post
*Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast***

But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…

Learning. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Smiling.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:

1. I’d have a computer, in my home.

2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.

3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.

4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.

5. Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…

**6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.**

7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.

8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.

9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.

10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.

11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.

12. My body would be my worst enemy.

**13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.**

**14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.**

15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).

1blog78

16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).

17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.

18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.

19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.

20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.

So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.

Uncategorized

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER

Posted on December 3, 2013 by D. Parker

This used to be on once a Christmas season when I was a child, like A Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty The Snowman, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Now it’s on many times a season, of course the season is now almost 3 months long. Also available on DVD, download, streamed, etc.

But there was something special in knowing it was only on one night a year. My parents would be on their way out to a Christmas party, in fancy clothes and smelling so good as they leaned down to kiss my brother and me good night. In theory we were supposed to be asleep when they got home. We had pizza made from the box mix, after all, it was a special occasion. We had pop which was rare threat. We made popcorn in the air popper with its special butter tray. My crazy cat would run and sit on the back on my Dad’s chair and beg for some of the melted butter. The fire was crackling. Or other nights with the same scene except my parents were home and we’d be laughing, joking around, watching the Christmas specials, it was fun because they only came on once a year. I wonder if our abundance or even overabundance has made things less special in some ways.

Rudolph, Santa’s 9th reindeer was a simple story of accepting others for their differences, embracing diversity. Rudolph was bullied for his differences until they realized different doesn’t mean bad. They added a few characters to this stop animation classic, adding to 1939 poem written by Robert L. May. And of course, The Island of Misfit Toys which was 2001 sorta sequel.

I hope Christmas can still have special moments for young and young at heart…

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…(you know you have to clap now, do it, just do it!).

Your job’s (bet Guaranteed Basic Income doesn’t look so “Commie” now huh?) now a stay-at-home-joke, you’re more-or-less broke…

Your love life’s “virtually” D.O.A.

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear (if you remember how to drive).

When it hasn’t been your minute, your hour, your day, your week, your monthOr even your year (Any 2020 hindsight advice?).

But I’ll be here for you (in my home)When the rain starts to pour

I’ll be here for you (in my home)Even if we weren’t “FRIENDS” before

I’ll be here for you (in my home)‘Cause you’re probably here for me too (in your home)

You’re still in bed, or the tub, or the tub is now your bed, at ten (AM, PM, who knows these days?).

And for many, “essential” work (less work if people could listen/read/try) never seems to stop…

Your breakfast might be lunch or dinner (those can all be chocolate during a pandemic, right?), then again, who the Hell knows or cares?

Things are going great, if you’re counting the number of swears…

it seems surreal, but yup, happening:

Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).

We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.

Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).

Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).

We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):

Coronavirus

COVID-19

SARS-CoV-2

Physical/social distancing

R0/reproductive rate

Drug repurposing

Viral shedding

Flattening/flatten the curve

Planking/plank the curve

Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)

Contact tracing

Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)

Community transmission/spread

Fomite

Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)

Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)

Nasopharyngeal swabs

PPE (personal protective equipment)

Vaccines https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/04/sharks-do-get-cancer/ (RNA) – I’ve seen/read enough sci-fi/apocalypse stuff to know this can lead to bad things including but not limited to: zombies, rabid living people, mutations, bad breath, bad acting, and bad Kharma…