I’d say it’s so hot it “gives me fever” (“Oh, keep your social distance, don’t you kiss me, don’t you hold me tight; report your fever, it’s only right!”), but these days, I’d be bombarded by Purell and swabs.
I’m a slow processor, in the heat, even more so. Picture me as a vintage (old?) IBM, or on good days, an iMac, or Windows 95, a great day, Windows Vista…
Those are factors, but also, how I respond. I need some alone time and silence to do so. Some people won’t respect that, which they should (we’d all get a better result).
The bigger the computation, the more time alone/silence I need to process; especially with other factors like: handling input from others, sending output, memory factors, outside factors, sigh, I’m gonna need a bigger CPU aka brain, or a good, long defragging…
Reading is a good thing to do when it’s hot…recently read a lovely book by Holly Hepburn,”The Picture House by the Sea” whose pages overflow with mouth-watering movies, gelato, romance, and the seaside – what’s not to like?
Some Like It Hot is a 1959 classic American black and white romcom (I might as well face it I’m addicted to love), authentically/lovingly directed and produced by Billy Wilder, starring a shiver-inducing cast, Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon. That’s hot.
This film should have been scandalous, and it was, but also: absurd, hilarious, fun/funny, and hugely popular. It was/is, as ‘the kids’ say, fire.
What do you think the title is about? Weather, uncomfortable women’s foundation garments (no Spanx for you!), sex (or gender, to each their own, J.K. Rowling),
and/or Jazz – I say all of the aforementioned.
Hmmm, I’m hearing a song in my head, wasn’t “Some Like it Hot” also a ‘80s song by Power Station, a band including Robert Palmer and members of Duran Duran…did that happen, or is the heat starting to make me hallucinate?
The weather out there…Baby, It’s Hot Outside. I really can’t stay…Baby, I have A/C and ice…
Oooooh, my little pathogen, my pathogen! Don’t be givin’ me germs, #Corona Ooh, you make me petrified, me petrified! Got it coming off o’ the flight from #China My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa! M-m-m-my #coronavirus
Did you sing it to “My Sharona” by The Knack? The original lyrics are actually scarier/creepier… Pandemic, more like Pant-demic, am I right?
I thought we all deserved a break from the propaganda of pandemic shopping (what’s with the obsession with toilet paper? Will t.p. be our future currency? Will people years from now be telling their grandchildren, “I was there for the T.P. Wars of 2020, it was ugly, a real sh*tshow!”. Do people not understand COVID-19 is a respiratory virus, this is not the Crappocalypse…Every time someone says toilet paper I think of “Seinfeld”, “No, I don’t have a square to spare. I can’t spare a square.” Really folks, are you going to be those type of apocalypse people who can’t even spare a square?
Also, thinking of t.p. makes me want to sing, “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division, but that’s for a psychiatrist to figure out…). Pandemic shopping panic is spreading faster than any virus single-strandedly could…I have my pandemic panic shopping priorities straight, I stocked up on chocolate. You know what kills the most people? Misinformation. Ignorance. And in the end, life.
Make no mistake about why these babies are here – they are here to replace us. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Finally watched “Rocketman”. As a writer, I adore Bernie Taupin’s mind (played by the delightful Jamie Bell), as a music freak fan Elton John (Taron Egerton,who also sings the part, bravo!)is a tapestry on the castle wall of music. This film is: over-the-top, brilliant and self-indulgent, so basically, Elton John. People compare this with “Bohemian Rhapsody”, DON’T!!! Like comparing the Hope diamond with a million tiny diamonds on a huge pair of glasses, completely different, both dazzling.
Don’t you know I’m still standing, most of the time. Looking like a tightrope walker past their prime. I’m still standing after all this time. Picking up the pieces of my life, kinda like a mime (ummm, on a windy street) I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah Seriously, disequilibrium is discombobulating and even spelling them makes me dizzy!!!
What have you all been doing to keep COVID-19 from spreading and to stave off that beast, boredom? Have you been supporting one another, reaching out to offer help, or a kind word? Email isn’t cancelled. Texting isn’t cancelled. Calls aren’t cancelled. Kindness isn’t cancelled. Smiles aren’t cancelled. Goodwill isn’t cancelled. Some people are complaining they can’t get out, false, walking, cycling, jogging, running, hiking, all safe distancing activity that keeps you moving isn’t cancelled, just stay, stay hydrated and practice safe distancing.
It’s St. Patrick’s Day – wear green, eat green food, drink green beer, smile, get lucky, laugh, share some laughter. Support each other. Stop looking at the negative side and think about all the “me” time you’ve been missing, maybe without even realizing it. Some people are complaining there are too many precautions, maybe, but if nothing comes of this, guess what, that’s the outcome we want, nothing to happen.
Here’s things that have been keeping me amused while Earth is cancelled.
“The Alice Network” (not to be confused with “The Alice Project” or “Alice Cooper” or “Alice in Wonderland” or “Alice in Zombieland”…what was I talking about?) “TAN” by Kate Quinn, suggested by a friend, “thanks” cause I couldn’t put this book down!!! Seriously, my eyes got tired, so I logged onto the library, got the e-audio of it and let my ears do some of the heavy lifting. Ever read a book where the movie starts playing in your brain? Stark. Poetic. Mesmerizing. Unflinching. So many books sit on shelves, unworthy, taking up space, this book deserves a whole section to itself.
Words cannot describe how happy “Avenue 5” made me…Hugh Laurie (reminds me of his “Blackadder-A-Bit-of-Fry-Laurie-with-a-smidge-of-Jeeves & Wooster-glory-days), Zach Woods, Josh Gad, Ethan Phillips and so many more. A delightful disaster you can’t stop watching…more please?“Star Trek: Picard” is a gift to loyal Trekkies/Trekkers. Patrick Stewart reprises his role as the iconic Jean-Luc Picard(please commence arguments about who’s the best Starfleet Captain now) and with a whole host of new and oldie (but still-in-our-hearts) spacies: Brent Spiner, Jeri Ryan, Jonathan Frakes, Marina Sirtis, Santiago Cabrera, Harry Treadaway, Alison Pill, Isa Briones, etc. Not already a “Star Trek” fanatic fan, probably not for you; for those who’ve spent a majority of their lives thrilling at: “Make it so”, “Set Phasers to stun”, “Engage”, “I’m a doctor, not a…”, “Resistance is futile”, “Highly illogical”, etc.…you get it, that electric energy zinging through you. And the cherry on top? Picard has a dog named Number One…wonder-filled.
“The Outsider” – I got chills, they’re multiplying!!! Watch the series, read the book by Stephen King and when your inner voice says “Don’t watch another episode before bed!”, listen to it, same goes for what your I.V. tells you about donuts (mostly, sometimes your I.V. is just bossy and should mind it’s own business!).Oh no, I have a scratch on my hand, yikes.
“Hunters” – weirdly reminds me of “The Watchmen” (the mind-blowing movie not the HBO series), but, like, hunting Nazis in the 70s…Al Pacino is still a master of micro-expressions. This is a reminder to trust government…seriously? Obviously kidding.
“Sex Education” on Netflix, there are no words, just watch (and learn?).
“Freaks” (isn’t this just sorta “Firestarter” again?).
“The Stranger”, “The Five”, Safe” all adapted from Harlan Coben books– What? What? What? Oh, the UK sure knows how to do a mystery up right.
Watched “The Hate U Give” and “Where Hands Touch”, apparently Amandla Stenberg likes to make me keep-the-tissue-box-handy because, ok, I’m welling up now thinking about both films, so amazing.
Too many books to list (just when I think I’m getting caught up on my to-read book list, I’m…squirrel! Yes, that easily distracted), for now, yet “F*ck No! how to stop saying yes when you can’t, you shouldn’t, or you justdon’t want to” by Sarah Knight (author of one of my favs, “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck”) stands out. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressivesimplification/
So before we panic, er, even more (Don’t Panic! Be Cautious! Be Kind!)…
Frankly, I’m feeling a bit panicked about how upset people are about having to wash their hands! And asking how to wash their hands properly! Being put out at having to wash their hands more! Ummm, supergross…) and all the stockpiling hoarding toilet paper, masks, hand sanitizer, medications, water, etc.
Not to downplay the loss, it’s terrible, but to put this into perspective, approx. 500 people die each day to firearms worldwide. Not to mention: cancer, heart disease, poison, fire, flu, diabetes, suicide, murder, driving while: texting, drunk, high, tired, smoking, sleeping, watching TV, checking their phone, hair, make-up, eating, and wow, seriously people, just drive the car, sober, rested, it’s not a toy.
I could go on. People die of preventable illnesses and “accidents” (is anything really an accident?). People are still starving, really, that’s still a thing in 2020? So before we continue to panic (which involves a lot of toilet paper I guess?),
I know this is bad and gonna get a whole lot worse, but let’s look back at all the things that went bump-in-the-night, the “scare-du-jour” that made us run out then and buy, buy, buy (currently residing in the “Where Are They Now?” files):
Ebola (since I was a teen I’ve been saying Ebola and other viruses are just a plane ride away, then again, I also wore a Hawaiian shirt every Thursday cause Magnum P.I. was on…so that happened).
Zika. Iran. West Nile Virus. Ozone Hole. Y2K. SARS. Caravans. H1N1. Acid Rain. Mad Cow (I simply can’t get a disease like Creutzfeldt-Jakob, I can’t even spell/say it correctly). AI. Jellyfish. MERS. Sharks (landsharks?).
Global Thermonuclear War (seriously, watch “War Games” again, you’ll thank me).
Weapons of Mass Destruction (now plagued by Weapons of Mass Distraction). Terrorism. UFOs. Comets. Asteroids (also a cool video game).
Remember the world ending in 2012? Mayans must be having a right good laugh at us. Evil clowns, sorry, that was redundant…I meant, clowns.
Chemicals in the water that turn the freakin’ frogs gay!
Swine flu (that’s some pig!). Eggs. Chickens and other birds (which came first?).
And my all-timefav,Killer Beesfrom South America.
Where are they? Did they take a decades-long siesta? Are they still coming? I need answers!
North Korea. ISIS.
Fear is used to manipulate the population, to keep them docile and easily lead. Then again, how have we survived this long? Seriously… “What, me worry?”Worry is a weird thing to do cause stress/worry hurt your immune system which leaves you open to viruses…see where this is going?
Risk is part of life (and a magnificent game).
Maybe we need relax, take a deep breath, calm down and have some tea and some chicken soup (gluten-free, GMO-free, organic with no chicken for our frightened souls). I have just the thing. A delightful friend and tireless blogger, Cher P. Garman https://thechicagofiles.com/ has contributed to “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive, Live Happy (101 Stories About Creating Your Best Life)” by Amy Newmark and Deborah Norville (CSS) and good news, none contain tales of rushing to Costco, pushing people out of the way to stockpile toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Cher’s inspirational story is #60. This ex-pat was a fish out of Canadian waters when her family moved to Chicago, but did Cher wallow? No, in the belly of the windy whale the blind taught her to see. Cher helped herself by helping others. You can’t feel alone or sad or frustrated when you give the gift of yourself to those in need.
“Chicken Soup” books are oft mocked as ‘corny’ or ‘cheesy’ (both corn and cheese taste good in soup, by the way), but they’re meant to remind us to see past the doom-and-gloom headlines and “if-it-bleeds-it-leads” stuff because it sells, sells, sells!!!
That the “Breaking News” crap and social media frenzies aren’t meant to motivate you, or to make you content or grateful or happy, they’re meant to disrupt, disturb, depress so you’ll be desperate and despairing.
I’m not dismissing the loss, the horror, the fear…germs are super scary, they’re a killer we can’t see, but really, so are a lot of things, Mother Nature is always trying to kill us and we’re doing the same to her. How about a truce?
Anxiety is my brain telling me to be careful, except fear isn’t using it’s inside voice. Panic, anxiety, worry, grieving, frustration, depression, etc. during these situations is normal, but if we amplify, then fear wins.
I feel sad for so many people in this crisis, including those told to stay home when they have no home. I’m going to rely heavily on science, I know, not popular in some circles, but it’s one of the few things in life that’s always tried to be honest with me.
My thinking is: stay home more, “social distancing” (hmmm, people with Autism were born for this), help “flatten the curve”, stay calm and we can do this…
Also, keep your risk perception under control, toilet paper will not keep you safe from COVID-19:
1) Wash your hands w/ soap often for 20-30 seconds. Use hand sanitizer when you can’t wash your hands. Stop touching your face so much! Seriously! Stop! Humans touch their face anywhere from 15-50 times/hour (what?!?). And clean your phones, they may very well herald the zombie apocalypse.
2) Human contact is important, but again, be cautious (a good general rule). Animal/human is also important, but this is zoonotic, again be cautious and be kind. Stop blaming bats, if we weren’t stomping all over their ecozones, their homes they’d just continue to hand around and be batty.
3) This is a good time to educate people on the risks (“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” Mark Twain would tell you 100x and more goes for the internet) and how to combat them. Don’t Panic! Be Cautious! Be Kind!
I’m going with what the doctors/scientists/experts say, wash your hands. #WashYourHands #SafeHands
The world is a ball of wonder, don’t let the latest storm be your whole life’s weather forecast. Don’t just learn to dance in the rain, learn to dance like you’re in the rain, in a “Wham!” video!
Your day starts off well. It’s Halloween (Happy Halloween!).
Everyone is excited, talking about costumes, candy, going to parties…
But suddenly, you find yourself alone, maybe in the woods, or a cemetery, or another dimension, a hell-spawn universe, basement, attic, abandoned summer camp, alley, decaying amusement park, no matter the location, it’s dark and foggy, silent, scary.
Your plans for picking up pizza before going out to a Halloween party now seem a dream while you’re in a nightmare.
Here are some ways to survive and even thrive what comes next:
1.Do not, I repeat, do not go to “check things out”, you’re better off not knowing.
2.Don’t call out things like, “Is anyone there?” or “Who’s there?”. You won’t like the answers.
3. Find a good hiding place. Don’t make a lot of noise – don’t sob loudly or leave your cellphone on (it’s the one time someone will actually call) and for goodness sake, don’t leave two seconds after the scary goes by. Rest, take stock, and come up with a plan, but not an overly-elaborateScooby-Doo plan. Shhh!
4.Don’t depend on someone coming to rescue you, we’ve seen horror movies, there’s a good chance that nice neighbour, helpful police officer, boyfriend, girlfriend, sibling, parent, whoever, is going to get killed trying to help you.
5.Don’t try to be brave or set traps when confronted by a demon, witch, warlock, ghoul, monster, ghost, alien, vampire, zombie, etc. They’re supernatural, trust, they have the advantage…Run away.
6.Don’t go all hero and decide you’re going to go and fight the serial killer. He/she is a success story, hence the word, serial in their job title. It usually ends in death, dismemberment, maiming, and/or all of the above.
7.Don’t let your possessed GPS lead you to places with names like: Satan’s Kingdom, Transylvania, Bloody Springs, Silent Hill, Helltown, Amityville, Monster, or Bad Axe(really, it’s scary, trust me, I know) and apparently all small towns in New England have an overabundance of spooky and bad things happening in them, go figure.Don’t check into a hotel or motel, even if you’re really tired, don’t have to stay in:The Overlook (all work and no play makes Donna a dull ghoul, all work and no play makes Donna a dull ghoul…), the Bates Motel (you’re clean enough, don’t take a shower), Pinewood Motel, or Motel Hell (the name may be a clue).Stay off streets with names like:Elm Street, Hanging Hill Lane, or Lucifer Dr.Summer camp atCrystal Lake…just no.
8.If you see a book of spells, a book of the dead, or any literature (even electronic) covered in weird symbols, human flesh, or it’s seeping blood, growling, showing you a gaping abyss to the fiery pits of Hell, I don’t care how bored you are, don’t read it, especially out loud.
9.If you’re joined by others in this nightmare, stick to them like glue, don’t say things like: “We should separate“ or “You go and check upstairs and I’ll check the basement”. This is not the time to be independent.
10.A life that has suddenly become a horror film is not the time for: heart-to-heart chats, true confessions, make-out sessions, sex, ‘working things out’, taking a bath, shower, sleeping, arguing, ‘clearing the air’, drugs, and/or drinking – wait until the bad things are gone.
11.If loved ones or companions start growling, vomiting pea soup, hissing, head-spinning, have glowing eyes, misshapen features, sudden hairiness, get all pretzelly with their bodies, start climbing on the ceiling or floors, have a sudden fascination with blood – this isn’t the time to practice tolerance and acceptance – run!
12.Receive a fancy invite to a spooky mansion for a party, inheritance, game, challenge? Don’t go, really, even if it seems cool, or lucrative, skip it (you’ll thank me later and by that I mean you’ll be alive to thank me later).
13.So you think you’ve triumphed and killed your zombie, monster, serial killer, etc., that’s awesome, pat yourself on the back, just don’t go closer to check if it’s really dead (it isn’t).
14.I know they’ve told us puzzles are good for our brain, will stop Alzheimer’s, dementia, etc. but that won’t be your worst problem if one of those puzzles opens a portal toHell, or looses demons upon the world, bringing about theEnd of Days, etc.Stick to crosswords, Sudoku, Find-A-Word.
15.It’s nice to be good at something but even if you’re really good, like genius-level good, don’t play with recombinant DNA, especially if you’re really good at it.
16.Deserted town? Leave. Leave quickly. But first, listen to the old crazy who tells you there’s a curse, or alien invasion, or possession – he’s the last one alive, he knows stuff.
17.Don’t borrow or steal from the dead. Don’t wake the dead. Don’t try to talk to the dead even if you think they might have helpful information. Don’t even think about the dead. Just concentrate on living.
18.If your children, pets, parents, co-workers, friends, etc. start speaking to you in Latin, or ancient Babylonian, or some alien language or they try to get you to kick a football, it’s time to run and get help (psst, they’re going to move the football).
19.Don’t fall asleep (I got this one covered).
20.Don’t go to the authorities, they’re probably already altered in some way, or they won’t believe you, or you’ll get them killed, maybe all three.
21.If something or someone is after you, run, cycle, or take a bus. Not only are they more environmentally-friendly, but your car, normally reliable, is now in horror movie or nightmare scenario, this time it won’t start, or it will take you a really long time to start. That taxi you call? The driver will be possessed or have an alien attached to his face.Uber, sure, but your driver will be a ghost or a deranged lunatic (hard to tell if that’s a horror thing or just, well, you know), or something really, really bad.
22.On an alien planet, Hellplain (Hellplane?), or Earth, stay away from: giant eggs, pods, glowing things, ooze, goo of any kind, furniture that moves on its own, scary clowns (with or without red balloons), TVs that lead to other worlds,hockey masks, machetes, chain saws, cabins, creatures, etc. Don’t wander around on your own or go looking for someone.
23.Don’t assume you’re the “Final Girl”, or some other horror movie troupe. Assume you’re the one that gets killed in the first 5 minutes and try to change that.
24.Let’s say you’ve read too many erotic paranormal novels (How many is too many? Asking for a friend.), watched too much “Twilight” or “Buffy”or whatever and you think you’re gonna hook up with some sexy vampire, demon, werewolf…Even if your milkshake brings all the ghouls to the yard, then what, you gonna strike a pose, hand on hip, duck lips out and take a selfie while doing your best Mae West impression, “Is that a knife in my back or are you just happy to see me?”.A supernatural romantic rendezvous is only sexy in movies/TV shows/books because you can’t smell the sulfur, dried blood, and pure evil.Take a ‘Calamity Cosmo’ quiz – seductive supernaturals are strictly wham-bam-now-you’re-damned-ma’am.Remember, dating a serial killer is a relationship killer.
25.You suddenly appear in your home, you think you’re safe, but then you remember, I found out about this place from a flaming note and I only paid with my signature in myblood.
Yup, your house is probably built on an old cemetery, ancient burial ground, where they use to perform rituals or sacrifices, or some other bad stuff, you’re still not safe, cut your losses, or get a really good supernaturalreal estate agent.And you may or may have sold your soul. Only time will tell. But it’s a great neighbourhood, close to a school, a ghoul, and a swimming pool (full of skeletons).
Most important?Good shoes.No heels, slippery soles, or untied laces. You’ll still fall (tripping over nothing) as you’re being chased, but your odds are better if you have good shoes.
Good luck…and I hope this never happens to you, but if it does, now you know what to do and what not to do!
Oh, I’m burnin’ through the sky, yeah. Two hundred degrees. That’s why they call me Ms. Fahrenheit. Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time I’m having a ball. Don’t stop me now… I don’t want to stop at all.Can’t see the point pretending everything’s alright
But why wallow and wail,
to no avail?
It is as it was
good versus evil
in a supersonic battle
lovers gonna love
haters gonna hate
others don’t give a dot dot dot
confused… Nothing stopped me having a good time, seeing them all Reduced rate and 2 for 1 movies?!? The show must go on!Neither snow nor freezing rain stays this blogger, forget The Oscars, Golden Globes, SAG, buckle up, here’s mine…
Glass. Best of trilogy. No spoilers, Bruce Willis (still got it); Samuel L Jackson (keeps rolling); James McAvoy (D.I.D. well; abuse shatters). More?
Bohemian Rhapsody.Smiling, foot-tapping then small sniffly soon joined by big hot blobs no tissues could contain. Every Queen song a bubble/rubble of memories. Happy/sad/joyous/heartbroken/healing/ripping/jarring/hopeful/ lonely/rapturous. Climb the highest peak; plunge the deepest pit. Explosions of memories. Haven’t discovered the wonder of Rami Malek? Please do. I almost forgot what Freddie Mercury looked like, Malek is that good…as for the Bryan Singer controversy, tip of the melting iceberg, that can of worms is wide open.
Aquaman. (Twice – there’s something to be said for stamina).
Jason Momoa? Can’t tell you everything I was thinking, but he was magnificent. Oceans of action, comedy, sentiment, and messaging (destroying the planet we profess to love). Hmm, Hollywood, money where your movie mouth is – wealth should be shared with those in need and to fix up our world.
Don’t stop me now (’cause I’m having a good time) Don’t stop me now (yes, I’m havin’ a good time) I don’t want to stop at all…
Bloggers and readers of every age. Wouldn’t you like tosee something strange? Come with me and you will see. This, our blog party of Halloween! Share it once, share it twice. Take a chance and roll the dice. Ride with the moon in the dead of night. Everybody scream, everybody scream!
In this blog party (share your links to your or others blog posts, books, social media, whatever!) of Halloween (or not)!
The more the scarier!!! #TheMoreTheScarier
Memories shape our lives and we cling to them as a witch clings to her flying broom (or vacuum). Some memories are comforting, others haunting. Do you remember the first time you heard: One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater? How about Monster Mash? Thriller? Dead Man’s Party…Sympathy for the Devil, Time Warp, (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, Devil Went Down To Georgia…Dragula, Welcome to my Nightmare, This Is Halloween…Who You Gonna Call? (Ghostbusters)…2018 version: Who You Gonna Text? (Emojibusters)
Hocus Pocus came out the same year and it’s cheesiness put a spell on me for all time.
Halloween attacked theaters (1978, 40 years ago and still today) and thanks to lax age rules back then, I probably saw it on the big screen. I heard that music and I was transfixed, they had me. Then the cinematography sucked me into the vortex of Michael Myers; I was right there, running scared with Laurie Strode/Jamie Leigh Curtis (Final Girls rule!). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/
Netflix’s vision of The Haunting of Hill House may thrill and chill you. Starring Michiel Huisman of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society -thanks Netflix for keeping the original book titles, for both and possibly for redoing Sabrina, I think I’m missing the teenage witch angst campiness, but adding MichelleGomez aka Missy from Doctor Who , genius!), Game of Thrones,Orphan Black, Nashville;also,Timothy Hutton; Carla Gugino; Henry Thomas (E.T. Phone Home!)and more, it’s not too scary, er, depending on your definition of scary. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/19/religion-politics-and-the-great-pumpkin/
Something wicked this way comes and horror gives us a way to examine the scary, horrifying, most frightening, the darkest parts of our world in a safe space, so you might say we horror fans are the original snowflakes…let’s hope we don’t melt.
Tra la la, tra la la, la Tra la la, tra la la, la Tra la la, tra la la, la
One banana, two banana, three banana, four All bananas make a split, so do many more….
Flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork Fleagle bingo drooper and snork
Tra la la, tra la la, la…We’re The Banana Splits, at least, we’re meant to be…meant to have more fun. I wonder, are we over thinking life? Always doing, having, wanting, needing, pushing, pulling, rushing, yearning, instead of just being.Maybe, just maybe, radical thinking alert here, we’re born, are intermittently happy, then leave this world, remembered or unremembered. We need to spend more time flipping like a pancake and popping like a cork. Making up a mess of fun instead of just a mess.More TraLaLaing, less brouhahaing. More Fleagle, bingo, drooper, and snork – less fighting, lingo, booper, and snark.The wise words of William Wordsworth are all too real now, “The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers…”.So today I’m just a girl, sitting in front of her computer, asking you to have fun with her.We can read books, talk, laugh, eat, blog, dance, sing, agree, disagree, watch shows/movies – I dunno, have fun…not to judge, nor praise, nor critique. Not to pick apart or speculate. Just to be.I’ll start…Couldn’t put down “The Girl Before” by JP Delaney, recommended (on Facebook) by my delightful British cuz, Penny (now there’s a woman who knows how to have fun), thank you, sweetie, it kept me page-turning long after I should been abed.
Had some more Boo Radley moments with “To Kill a Mockingbird” (Harper Lee) then “Benny and Joon” (one thing always leads to another in my head).
Was “Dreaming in Chocolate” (like always), but this time thanks to Susan Bishop Crispell; how apt for me.
Meandered down the rabbit hole filled with zombies, as Gena Showalter left Alice and friends/foes in the final book (oh no!) of the “Alice in Zombieland” chronicles, “A Mad Zombie Party”…we’re all mad here!!! And more! I would include some indie books in this list, but no one has sent me any lately (hint hint), those I would review, honestly, as I do everything.
So while I try to believe…and try to patiently await holds at the library and, more…“The Handmaid’s Tale” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/, “Westworld”, “Game of Thrones”, “Psych” reboot (please, please, I need a happy place), “The Orville” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/09/28/we-were-on-a-break/,and on the big screen (finally)…”Deadpool 2″, “Solo: A Star Wars Story”, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”, “Incredibles 2”, “The House With The Clock In Its Walls” (family-friendly goth mystery based on one of my fav childhood books by John Bellairs), “Marvel’s Avengers Infinity War”, and more, more, more – while I wait, I split (with bananas?) to the ‘good old days’ when life was simple (or was it?): Doris Day, James Stewart, The Marx Brothers, Gene Kelly, Grace Kelly (can’t think of any more Kellys right now), Ingrid Bergman, Fred Astaire, James Dean, Rock Hudson,Judy Garland, Mae West. Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/arsenic-and-old-lace/, Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn (I’m out of Hepburns), Lauren Bacall, Rita Hayworth, Bette Davis, Henry Fonda, Myrna Loy, Joan Fontaine, Alfred Hitchcock, Tim Burton, er, classics, right?
I traveled through time with “The Crossing”…remember when we could do that with “Doctor Who”?
Revisited the Conner household with the return of “Roseanne” (still love Laurie Metcalf, almost as much as on “The Big Bang Theory” and “3rd Rock From The Sun”) – you don’t have to like her, her voice, her politics, or watch, life is filled with infinite choices, ordering coffee and from Amazon has taught us that.
April can also be the cruelest month, as T.S. Eliot told us, and it took, way, way too soon, a beloved Uncle, a true gentleman whose dry wit and kindness were always present as he tried to help people. And is giving us a historic ice storm, but, I remain hopeful that Spring is lurking, somewhere, waiting to make me Capri-happy and carefree.I’m not saying life is all about fun, but if we had a more Banana Splits (the show, The Dickies version of the song, and the tasty treat) attitude, maybe we wouldn’t fall prey to lies, scams, machinations; we might enjoy our time in this life, not to make the most money or power or to make a name for ourselves, just to be. Be happy. Be silly. Be kind to each other. Be grateful. Be here. Why not? Tra la la, tra la la, la Tra la la, tra la la, la Tra la la, tra la la, la Tra la la, tra la la, la
Now this is a story about how My life flipped-turned upside down… I’ll even tell the story without a crown. In Ontario, Canada born and raised On the internet spending too much of my days Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool In a writing/life slump, not cool, fool I begged and pleaded with myself day after day Still I packed my mental suitcase and sent me on my way.
I gave me a kiss and then gave me my ticket. I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well kick it.” I pulled up to yet another chapter of my life And yelled, “Yo world smell ya later.”
I understood completely, in La La Land, when Ryan Gosling/Sebastian explains he’s letting life hit him on the head, over and over, until life exhausts itself. How many of us feel beaten down by life, chasing a dream, and sometimes looking at our feet when we dance (physically and metaphorically)?
In all seriousness, as I watched La La Land I wanted to dance and I cried as Emma Stone/Mia sang, “Here’s to the ones who dream. Foolish, as they may seem. Here’s to the hearts that ache. Here’s to the mess we make….So bring on the rebels. The ripples from pebbles…” – I can’t help myself, I’m one of those who dream, foolish as it may seem – as the movie ended I wanted to watch it again and again.
But we can’t live our lives in theaters, on our phones, on vacation, online, pretending to be safe. Life can be terrifying; we’re not in control. How can we feel safe when we lose loved ones, when cancer viciously attacks, when money and power trump logic and reason, when affordable housing is scarce, when the ruling class lacks class and common sense, when people worship that ruling class and celebrities, when crime and terrorism are more lucrative that real jobs, when your own brain (cotton-headed ninnymuggin hypothalamus) turns on you…and so on and so on.
B) Who cares/why do people care/it’s about time. C) Is no one worried about the more disturbing aspects of Belle and The Beast’s relationship, you know, the enslavement, the furry love, etc.?
Personally I was more worried the remake of Beauty and The Beast would be Donald and Melania Trump story. Gross.
2. Mystified by the real world, I escaped into the fake. Lovely to see Agatha Raisin join Miss Marple, Jessica Fletcher, Miss Fisher, Nancy Drew, Hannah Swensen and more onscreen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ with hilarious results, ok, murder shouldn’t be funny, but it’s not real, right? On the page M.C. Beaton makes Agatha’s life sassy, silly, and killy , but onscreen Ashley Jensen really brings Agatha to life.
Finally saw The Accidental Husband, a kooky romcom starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Colin Firth, Uma Thurman, Isabella Rossellini, and Sam Shepard. Got to be honest, after watching Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan in Season 7 of The Walking Dead, I struggled to see him as a romantic leading man again, I keep expecting him to whip out his, er…Lucille. I got over it.
3. I get it, people lie. House (Hugh Laurie) would tell you “Everybody lies”. Maybe we all do, in a way. People have been lying to me all my life: “I’ll always be here.” “You’ll use Trigonometry.” “You can never have too many friends.” “If the rich make money it will trickle down.” “Everything will be ok.” No. Never. Yes, you can, have you been in Facebook? No, it won’t. Depends what you mean by ok.
B) People with disabilities can be vulnerable, be kind. C) Disabilities aren’t the end of the world, you can still be happy, it’s just a matter of finding your way. D) Always remember, home and family are wherever your heart is, really.
I’m just a girl. Standing in
front of her readers. Asking them to love me…well, love my blogging. Changing times, uncertain times, confusing times, trying times, for the world and even for blogging. Just as truth and facts are going “out of style”, so is blogging apparently. Reality seems to be a thing of the past – we don’t lie anymore, we tell alternative facts; we don’t blog anymore, we influence.
Sigh, not all change is good.
1. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful blog friendship. Of all the blog joints, in all the towns, in all the world, you walked into my blog…Thank you.
2. In blogging no one can hear you scream. Blog posts hit the blogosphere with a resounding splash or a deafening crash. Either way, if you did your best, move on to the next.
3. I see blog people. I see blog people. How often do you see them? Every time I open my email! I love your posts, but there can be too much of a good thing and my inbox turns into a horror story (and I don’t have time to read them). Deep breaths – if I keep doing beginnings, the end will visit me eventually.
4. I’m big, it’s the blogs who got small! Readers won’t always ‘get’ you, or agree, your jokes might fall flatter than a pancake on Pancake Tuesday https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/ Offended, appalled, argumentative, mean, shocked, non-facty, and downright grumpy – welcome to the internet!
5. There’s no crying in blogging! In blogging and life, you might sometimes feel like crying, but it just makes your eyes puffy and your keyboard drippy. On a side note, there will be crying if you go to experience Manchester By The Sea, pretty sure it was secretly sponsored by Kleenex.I’m not big on awards, but this movie and Casey Affleck, Lucas Hedges, and Michelle Williams should get a bunch anyway. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen, so real I forgot I was watching a movie, I felt like I was there; it hurt and healed, just as life hurts and heals.Just thinking about it, there is crying in blogging.
6. I’m going to make you a blog offer you can’t refuse. Follow my blog. I dare you. I double dog dare you to ‘like’ my post. Share blog posts you enjoy so others can enjoy them as well. So shines a good deed in a weary blogging world.
7. That’ll do, bloggers. That’ll do. Simplicity, honesty, heart-wrenching love, and singing mice, Babehttps://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/22/babe/ reminds us of those moments in friendships, relationships, blogging, work, loss, leisure, love, when you know, you just know, that’ll do, that’ll do.
8. You make me want to be a better blogger. I hope people like my blogging as is, not as they want it to be, but I don’t want to bang out whatever, just to say I posted something, so, you make me want to be a better blogger. Thank you.
9. Frankly, my dears, I don’t give a blog. Your life is a story – drama, comedy, romance, apocalyptic dystopian nightmare – it may not be a bestseller, but get out there and live it like tomorrow isn’t another day!
10. I wish I knew how to quit you, blogging. Time, money, energy, lack of response, no one beating down my door to make me rich and famous (I’d settle for MCM – moderately comfortable monetarily), all reasons, after almost 4 years of blogging I think of quitting, often. Yet I keep coming back, why, days counted less in numbers, more in heartbeats of community, contact, and comfort.
12.Dude, where’s my blog? So many blogs, so little time. How do you get others to find your blog? Social media? Yes! Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Reddit, Instagram, share and attend awesome blog parties and linky parties, a great way to meet and greet other bloggers.
13. The Blogging Game. One word, one sentence, one post, one book, one show, one movie, one moment can change a life forever. Play at your own risk.
14. What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. People may not have read the books you review or watched the TV shows or movies you watch; your readers may not share your political or lifestyle views; don’t travel or want to; don’t have any interest in your recipes, children, or pets…the list goes on. Get busy blogging, don’t over think it.
15. Blog On, Blog Off. Even Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid would agree, there are different blogging styles, rhythms, and choices. First learn to blog, then learn to fly.
16. I love the smell of blogging in the morning. The best thing about blogging? Other bloggers and readers. Take time to stop and smell the blogging.
18. If you blog it they will come. Content, content analysis, stats, SEO and other blogging resources probably won’t magically get you a viral monster cult following. Even if it does, readers can be fickle…
20. Today I consider myself to be luckiest blogger on the face of the earth… I started blogging to relax, resurrect my love of writing, and to be rich/famous – close to 600 posts, 225,000 plus views, 12,000 ‘followers’ later, well, at least I’ve reignited my love of writing.
21. Tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the bloggers. Blogging, like politics can be a popularity contest. If you lie to be popular, to get what you want, then what you want isn’t what you need, i.e., you need chocolate, but you shouldn’t lie to get it…begging is a different story.
22. We’ll always have blogging. Life and blogging can feel like our own personal Groundhog Day https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/02/02/groundhog-day/ – whether we see our own shadow or not, whether it repeats until we learn something or not, I Got You, Bloggers and Readers…we’ll always have blogging.
With any luck this time, next year, I’ll be blogging more and a published author (gee, maybe I should finish writing a book first, but I want to believe). But for now, let me say, without hope or agenda, just because it’s Halloween (and at Halloween you tell the truth), to me, dear readers, you are perfect and my wasted heart will love you until you look like this (no, not Andrew Lincoln, the one below)…
Is reality just a figment of someone’s wild imagination? What if none of this is real, what if we’re all characters in some bizarre game, er, maybe I should cut down on Westworld watching, but am I really supposed to believe this is real? What if I’m in a coma and dreaming all this? Or in a TV show, snowglobe, in a virtual reality machine…Maybe living in words between words. So if you’re waiting for another page to be written, why not write it ourselves?
Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul, this is a topsy-turvy world, onlineness takes its toll, but read closely, not for very much longer…
– Since children now watch/play more ‘adult’ TV, movies, and games, I assume holiday specials will soon catch up: You’re A Zombie, Charlie Brown; It’s A Wonderful Murder; Frosty The Hitman; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Drunk; The 12 Armed Conflicts of Christmas; A Christmas Sex Tape; and Twas The Fight Before Christmas.
– Nervous about your colonoscopy cause it’s your first time? Hopefully you get an intern who kindly explains, no worries, it’s his first time too (don’t know if he was kidding, thankfully my doctor was also there).
– Books in any form are still one of life’s absolute pleasures – I’m a happy bookoholic, I bought 144 books for $30 at my city’s library sale! Oh why can’t I just read all day everyday?
– Tim Curry (saucy minx), now The Narrator/Criminologist, he’ll always be Frank-N-Furter to me – lovely to see him working after his stroke.
– Doctor Who returned, well, at least The Doctor, only briefly in the spin-off, Class – Correctamundo, but without David Tennant.
– And crawling on the planet’s face, some insects called the human race, too often worshiping at the altar of celebrity, lost in time, lost in space and I’m hoping for more meaning, maybe when the election’s over. Please!!!
1. You see others doing something and get engaged in the process. You want to share your blogging bliss, but break down in a blog storm, then have to get ‘help’. Enter at your own risk…
2. Then you experience things in a whole different way. I remember doing the Blog Warp. Drinking those moments when, the blogness would hit me and the blogvoid keeps calling. Let’s do the Blog Warp again! With a bit of a mind flip, you’re into the blog slip and nothing can ever be the same…
3. You find yourself doing things you’ve never done before, meeting people that might be from a different planet when you only wanted to blog. It was great when it all began, I was a regular blogging fan…Now I finally understand, loss and pain carve a great big hole for the joy to land.
4. Blogging, not as wild as Rocky Horror, but you feel exposed, like you’re standing around in your undergarments in the social media castle. Now, blogbabies, don’t you panic. So come up to the blog-lab, see what’s on the blog-slab, I see you shiver in antici…blog…pation! Don’t dream it, blog it.
5. If you question how or why you’re blogging, if you’re doing it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, close your eyes, smile and know – the darkness must go down the river of night’s dreaming. Flow morphia slow. Let the sun and light (aka other bloggers and readers) come streaming into your bloglife, into your bloglife…
I like to have fun, dance, and sing, I’m bored with angry people blaming everyone for their problems and thinking there are magical solutions.
So thank you, Richard O’Brien, after all these years you still block the angry noise and make me remember throwing toast, yelling borrr-ring, a newspaper over my head, lighter in hand, dressed as Riff Raff (I looked for pictures, but in those days we were too busy being it). Mmmm, meatloaf for supper tonight?
Just a jump to left and a step to the right, thanks for dropping by – Happy Halloween and have a safe and yummy night!
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, the wheels of the train mocked me as I tried to play Risk on a mobile device – is it just me or are mobile devices a conspiracy by a secret order of MasonicOphthamologists trying to destroy the vision of everyone, making them need eyeglasses, contacts and even eye surgery? Time will tell. Leaving Toronto aka The Glorious Chaos as my brother aptly named it, I paused to think of the large, cosmopolitan city – wild, weird, at times, woolly, but wonderful as well. The Glorious Chaos is actually a suitable description of life. Sadly, those with Autism, like my son, experience Toronto and life itself differently. To him, it’s loud, smelly, bright, and crowded. To him, it’s overwhelming, scary, just generally creepy. But he has to live in the real world – whatever that means these days, so when my son is in a ‘good place’ (not The Good Place, a new comedy with Ted Danson and Kristen Bell, funny but hardly seems sustainable), I try to do things with him, a kind of sensory diet.
After a lovely visit with my brilliant and funny family (I’m biased, but they’re actually as I describe), we headed home, watching Summer’s bright promise fade, the quilt of Autumn cover the land, nestling under our chins as we snuggle into Winter. At no time of the year is chaos more clear than Fall, Thanksgiving, and Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/28/monster-meet-and-greet-mash/– especially Halloween, the most confusing holiday of all.
Children dress up, ignore their parents’ warnings (with encouragement) not to talk to strangers and instead go out in the dark to the homes of hundreds of strangers, begging for food. Adults also get in on the action, partying hard, many even wearing sexy costumes – angel, devil, nurse, vampire, ninja, cat, ninja cat, Frozen, Harley Quinn, Kylo Ren, Ken Bone, really, any ol’ Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter (oh yes, I borrowed and read J.K. Rowling/Jack Thorne/John Tiffany’s Harry Potter and The Cursed Child, no spoilers, but it had Harry Potterand a cursed child, shhh, you didn’t hear it from me; they did manage to slide Robert Pattinson from Twilight fame in there too – how convenient) and Hunger Games https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/ I guess they’re hoping for one night of the year, Cialis Doesn’t Live Here Anymore?
Aaaah, Thanksgiving (No turkey soup for you!!!), food coma aside (I even tried to avoid those little pushers at the mall – sure, they call themselves Girl Guides or Girl Scouts, they’re cute, but we know what they really are – you try to say no to cookies!), Thanksgiving should be everyday, a time to remember to be thankful – hopefully we know to be thankful for the right things. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/
Still, there are some things I know for certain:
1. Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder…if you want salt on your floor and shoulder.
2. With everyone texting and driving, for my part I welcome self-driving, computer cars – at least they won’t give me the finger (or will they?).
3. You don’t have the right to touch anyone without their permission…ever, did I mention ever?
4. Crossing paths with a black cat is dangerous…unless they’re doing something adorable, which is likely.
5. Pumpkin Spice it if you got it.
6. Make friends with the truth – it might be your best friend when no one else is.
7. Make decisions about people on their words and actions not their race, religion, country, political affiliations, sexual orientation, size, etc.
8. Comfortable shoes and chocolate are human rights, right?
9. Non-orange pumpkins used to seem weird, but lately orange things are scaring me.
10. Adam Lindsay Gordon got it right: “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.”
11.Kiss my grits is making more sense to me every single day…
12. Fear is more contagious than any disease and stronger than any army.
13. Remembering, looking back, glamorizing the past – it seems better, more fun, easier, but maybe, just maybe, complicated and different doesn’t have to mean bad – exercise your brain, it’ll look better in yoga pants.
Oh and of course, show love whenever you can. Enjoy The Glorious Chaos.
Stressed. Stressed out. Every day we hear how people are stressed out, exhausted, scattered, distracted, besieged, anxious, under pressure, just generally overwhelmed. Times haven’t changed, just magnified, still going in circles; instead of Keeping Up With The Joneses, we’re trying to Keep Up With The Kardashians.
Our Amygdala’s primary job is the processing of memory, emotional reactions, and decision-making, that’s a lot to handle, so she can get a little overstimulated. Her nanny, the Prefrontal Cortex is all like, whoa, slow down, Amy, you need a time out. But what if chronic stress has hacked PreCor, making it too weak to calm Amy down, stop her from some unrestrained Brains Gone Wild moments? As my fav song by The Tragically Hip says, we Blow At High Dough, that’s us, going too fast, burning up, burning out.
My growing, life-changing magic of apathy toward crap, a sort of crapathy, has me bored, yes, but also ashamed, ashamed of our frivolity, and at myself for being any part of it. I can’t change my hyper-awareness of all the crap, but I can change my perception, actions, and reactions.
Many experts, including renowned time researcher and sociologist, Professor John P. Robinson, known as Father Time, agree that not having enough time is actually an illusion, self-imposed, many people have more leisure time than ever before. https://socy.umd.edu/facultyprofile/Robinson/John%20P. Then why do we feel so overwhelmed? Maybe it’s all the things we’ve been sold to improve and simplify our lives. Really, why, when complicated means more money.
Growing up I wanted to be Nancy Drew…instead I was Donna Parker. Both outrageously ignored repeated and dire warnings while being fiercely loyal, generous, and independent. Both wore, gasp, dungarees.
1.The Clue in the Diary (decoded, started a blog). 2.The Secret of the Old Biological Clock (unraveled, acceptance). 3.The Haunted What Ifs(the voices of my past fade into the void, including but not limited to: family, friends, Prince, Bowie, The Tragically Hip aka The Hip, Spirit of the West, The Ramones, etc. Yet I have to smile, because they happened). 4. The Sign of the Twisted Scandals (solved, don’t care). 5. The Mystery of the Dating Dilemma (more probing needed).
6. The Secret in the Old Attic (aka my head, ongoing). 7. The Password Puzzle (deciphered, but it’s a secret). 8. The Aging Writer Mystery (further review). 9. The Ghost of Broken Dreams (phantom case). 10.The Clue of the Missing Keys (found, Marie Kondo organized my life https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/).
Broke, obscure, and chronically ill, I have probable cause to get discouraged and depressed.
It’s easy to believe the voices that bludgeon me, sticking a knife into my self-confidence, slamming an axe into my feelings of worth, poisoning my pride, shooting holes in my dignity. The suspects are many, with means, motive, and opportunity, so I have to solve the mystery, before it’s too late!
You probably didn’t think you had time to read this whole post, so like me, maybe you need to Go Nancy Drew Yourself!
The sounds of the city
sang their strange song.
The sights pilfered
A Grecian effigy with no arms, but a whimsical flowered spring bonnet.
A tank incongruously set among the budding flowers with a background of lawyers and pizza; lots of cheese and hot grease –
oh, and on the pizza too.
I past my old doctor’s office, now a frat house. I smiled, remembering Dr. Shearer who raised sheep and around the corner lived members of the band, Sheep Look Up(ewe can’t make this stuff up, sorry, that was baaad)
I wish to go back, for a visit, in a time machine (preferably with David Tennant as The Doctor; come on, Doctor Whofans, who would you travel with?). I’d tell myself how little I knew. Be nicer to some. Apologize to others. Tell others to go to h-e-double hockey sticks (it’s Canada, eh, and they deserved it). Maybe see Prince in concert singing Purple Rain, Darling Nikki, When Doves Cry, 1999, The Ballad of Dorothy Parker, etc. once more. #RIPPrince
I smiled as a big RV chugged by, making me think of the latest installment of the Vacation movie series. Campy? Maybe even glampy! Cheesy? More than the aforementioned lawyers and pizza. Tacky? I expect nothing less. Might’ve watched it sooner if I’d known it had Chris Hemsworth (Thor, The Avengers, The Huntsman stuff) and Norman Reedus (Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead). Small parts (bet no one says that often), but memorable, if creepy. I may never look at them the same again. Oh, who am I kidding?
I glimpsed a bank turned into a restaurant and vice versa, hmmm, wonder which saw more money? Shuddering, I thought of The Big Short. Awesome cast (Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Melissa Leo, Selena Gomez)…
Snappy writing, but an altogether terrifying horror film. Versions of Eve of Destruction – Barry McGuire, The Turtles (not ninja), Johnny Thunders, The Pogues, D.O.A, The Dickies, and Public Enemy blared in my brain as the obvious soundtrack for this film. Why worry about nuclear threats, terrorists, natural disasters, and disease when assuredly the scourge of greed and corruption will wipe us out first?
I’d left plenty of time for myself, better early than late. Cars whizzed past, buildings blurred, making me curious, how many were Turo and Airbnb? Would you, dear readers, rent your car and/or home?
Finally there, I folded myself into the 3 foldy gown…I had better luck than the full moony older gentleman, thankfully an attendant helped him; laughing at old or infirm people isn’t good sport. With two Donnas there, I got ‘Donna P’ (say it out loud…there you go). Tests done, I started back. I waved at a tabby cat reclining regally on a window ledge who obviously didn’t feel I was worthy of his time. Correct, the bird swooping past, more fascinating by far.
Home again, I happily listened to my son’s monologues. I knew what my doctor would say – not urgent (doctor code for: it’s not cancer), but I need to see you soon; kind man, he’s happy when he can actually help me. I was spot on.
Nora Ephron’s words drifted into my mind, “everything is copy” (check out the documentary of the same name). Inspired me to write this and think, wow, my blog was on the edge of 200,000 views (now over). Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined so much blog love. Thank you all.
And thanks for taking this walk with me, you made it easier. Also, Happy Earth Day!!!
Some of you, dear readers, may have noticed I changed my tagline, “Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure”. Why? I’m trying it out, after all, I feel not quite as obscure, my meanderings a tad less vague, ok, this post wasn’t the best example of that…although I’m still broke, despite the unused donate button, lol.
I thought, “Wish you were here” worked better because, well, I do.
Remember that label?
This is not a toy?
As a child I used to think, really, or is it a toy? As an adult I think, really, or is it a toy?
Labels continue to amuse me. Remove plastic from pizza before placing in the oven. Are we just stopping natural selection with all these labels? Then again, with the taste of some frozen pizzas, who’d notice? It’s also amazing how many “Do not eat” labels on things you wouldn’t possible even think of eating.
One of my all-time favourites is: if you can’t read the label, don’t use this. Huh? So basically, don’t spray deodorant in your eyes, sit on an oven door, don’t use a curling iron internally, don’t drink toner, pepper spray can irritate your eyes, hot beverages are indeed hot, and the list goes on. What’s your top weird label, dear readers?
1. Then again, observing people, I suppose these labels aren’t as weird as you’d think. Like those people who stand uber close to you in line. Do they think it’ll make the line move faster, or I’ll leave, either way, slow down, I’d appreciate dinner before you get that close.
2. What is with eating while driving? Really, is life that busy that people can’t stop and have a sandwich? Try the ‘o’ word: organization. And those poor little Stop signs, they’re getting a complex from being ignored…
3. Who writes these TV shows (“Do you have a swab?, “Did you get the swab?” “Are you out of swabs, how can you be out of swabs, we need swabs!”, what you need to get is a Thesaurus and out of Johnson & Johnson’s, ummm, anyway, I digress), books, and/or movies where all characters race around to keep, like, one main character alive? Does this person secretly have the cure for cancer? Other people drop like flies around them. or because of them, or to save them, but as long as they stay alive (more or less), it’s all good.
4. Money can’t buy happiness, sure, but it can buy food, shelter, security, I’d be way more comfortable crying in a nice house with a pool and not worrying about money all the time. Just sayin’.
5. No wonder young girls are so confused about body image. Women in music videos wearing clothes that could double as napkins gyrating against, well, anything. Men don’t feel the need to dress or act that way. Imagine the time we’d have for equal rights if we had never been told what shape to be, what to wear…who to be.
6. If you find politicians horrifying, pretend they’re children (not a big stretch), stop giving them so much attention.
7. The news keeps taking about how bad the economy is, not news to me, my economy has always been bad.
8. People who complain that you shouldn’t eat non-traditional foods for breakfast clearly haven’t figured out doughnuts are cake which is just like pancakes and you eat those for breakfast, right?
9. People who say they don’t do mornings are doing morning as they say it.
10. There’s nothing better we can do in this world, no greater kindness than making people feel safe, with food, shelter, comfort, love, and compassion, not fear, hunger, prejudice, poverty, and hatred.
My last post https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/09/take-on-me/ had all that talk of adulting, this week I put adulting on hold, went to a March Break matinée (yes, alone and isn’t it a weird reflection on society that if I were a man, I would be seen as creepy doing so; a few rotten apples do spoil so much, still got some looks I was there without a child). I thoroughly enjoyed The Peanuts Movie for $3; $1 went to Kids Help Phone and I got coupons (free popcorn and movies) – charity, coupons, childhood, and reclining seats – you can’t see me right now, but I’m The Breakfast Club fist-pumping in the air.
My point? Labels are just labels (lawsuits aside), common sense is the best label. Hope your weekend (and the First Day of Spring/Spring Equinox) is a warm hug.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… I’m just a poor girl, I need no sympathy, Because I’m easy come, easy go, Little high, little low, Anyway the wind blows, does kinda matter to me…
If you didn’t headbang to that (preferably in a car with friends), I got nothing…
I’m back, it’s been a rough week or so, including, unfortunately, me being back to my usual sleeping issues – I see why they use lack of sleep as a torture method. Life, you spin me round (like a record). On the bright side, no bail money needed, no visiting the hardware store for: lye, tarps, a shovel, and I discovered I can still discover stuff about myself and others.
I recently got new eyeglasses, progressive ones, a nice word for you’re old, deal with it. Getting old doesn’t bother me, it’s like watching time-lapse photos of myself decaying. Who doesn’t love arthritis, wrinkles, age spots, forgetfulness – what was I talking about? It could be an adjustment thing, but I find myself spending less time online, more in the real world…whatever that means.
Also channeling my inner Popeye, yup, I am what I am with a spinach binge (even spinach tea), which in turn caused St. Patrick’s Day to come early, if you know what I mean…and no one was after those lucky charms, no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Enough said.
I see The Bacheloris back, can someone explain this twisted take on Dunbar’s Number? To me, the concept is flawed, if I wanted to date a guy who was dating like 25 other women I would have just stayed in the music scene. And yes, I had to use the Blake Shelton parody (Farm Hunk) from SNL…you’re welcome.
Speaking of reality shows, what’s with that new one, Pumpkin For Prez? Why do we want to watch a caustic, racist, sexist, grandiloquent pumpkin trying to become POTUS? Though funny, it’s on way too often.
I could have done without the white Bronco flashback, do we really have to relive the O.J. Simpson trial? Couldn’t we just assume the LAPD still have evidence impotence? Perhaps Disney and Pixar could cash in on this O.J. stuff to promote Finding Dory. I can picture the trailer now: “Knife? I saw a knife!”. Or the chance for Paul Hogan to revive the nostalgia of his Crocodile Dundee films: “That’s not a knife…this is a knife!”.
The older I get the more I feel like a charlatan, a flim-flam artist, fraud, poser, pretending to be an adult when all I really want is to run through a field with a kite, only stopping long enough to blow bubbles and count how long it takes them to burst. I’m sick of paperwork. Up to here with paying bills, errands, taxes, phone calls, being on hold, decisions, balancing budgets…I’m queasy from being bombarded, sold stuff, even during TV, movies, books, etc. Product placement I understand, but I watch TV/movies, and read books to be distracted, entertained, having actors ad-roofie me to push it, push it real good for: Segway, cereal, Coke (not the real anything), Apple, Microsoft, fast food, junk food, candy, a car that parallel parks itself (would love that car, by the way), well, takes me out of my enjoyment zone. Instead, I want to tear off my adult costume and spend hours watching tadpoles in a stream. Go barefoot. No matter our age, whether you’re online or not, Adam Lindsay Gordon got it right: “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, Courage in your own”…I guess I’ll bravely, kindly continue adulting.
I think I have a slow learning curve, who knows, but I find I don’t mind, I actually like the learning part. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results isn’t insanity, it’s living. So life, take on me, take me on, I’ll be yours if…
Dear Readers, how are you today? Happy, I hope.
Lately I’ve been in a shall we say, reflective mood, thinking of the highs and lows, cons and pros of being human.
I know, like so many things, it’s complicated.
Let’s start with the Pros:
1. We’re amusing.
I never understand why people go to the zoo when they can watch people instead, such as, on public transit. In one ride I saw: a guy with a bag full of copper wires sucking down a giant blue slurpee who collected paper transfers from the bus floor, tore two apart, licked them, put them together then showed ‘it’ to the driver; another guy was reading a scientific magazine, upside down; a photoshopped woman talking loudly and graphically about her knotty/naughty love life via cellphone; an older gentleman wearing PJs, cool, I did that too, in high school, the top one day, bottoms another, but as I get older I just think, sure, that looks comfy, you could get off the bus and right into bed. Who needs The Oscars? Hop on a bus, be awarded.
2. We’re ingenious.
Really, we came up with all kinds of stuff, like: flying, fire, medicine, books, family, duct tape, technology, chocolate, the internet, music, blogging, swimming inside in the winter, batteries, politicians, money, cake, saunas, friendships, trains, Johnny Depp as a pirate, pool noodle under fitted sheet so a child doesn’t roll out of bed (wish I’d known this when my son was young), driving, driving with dogs on our laps, wait, someone needs to explain this one to me, does the dog think he’s driving, does he even comprehend what driving is, I doubt he passed a driving test, I mean, how did he fill out all the forms, reach the pedals with his paws, not bite the instructor?
3. We’re endlessly curious.
We ask questions such as, but not limited to: “How bad can it be?” (very bad); “Could it get any worse?” (yes); “How stupid can you be?” (have you heard some politicians?).
4. We’re brave.
We live on a planet where the earth shakes, volcanoes spew lava, mountains of snow grow, and storms make us remember there’s no place like home…and then invite tourists, cause it’s that awesome.
5. We fall in love and out of love.
Love can go from oh’s to ex’s…ex’s to oh’s or so I’ve heard…at least, in song. Our hearts can stay, stray, delay, relay, live to love another day. Don’t think my ex’s or oh’s haunt me, but I’d like to think someday my Prince Charming will ride in on his baggage cart and sweep me into his manly arms, yes, apparently in my flight of fancy I’m dainty and light as a feather, his bronzed flesh glowing, huh, glowing? Too much of the X-Files reboot? But I digress…he’ll have room on his baggage cart for my baggage too and we’ll be off, into the sunset (Risky Business-style sunglasses firmly in place), hopefully not ending up like Thelma and Louise, Romeo and Juliet, or Butch and Sundance…
6. We yearn.
For more, for other worlds and explore them through books, movies, TV…finally saw Star Wars The Force Awakens aka A-New-Hope-revisited when I took my son to a movie marathon for his birthday. It was great, but I have to wonder, what is it with people dropping children off on desert planets? Do they think it’s desert daycare? Do they think the children might go all Home Alone on the scum of these wretched hives of villainy? At what point should we just admit they’re bad parents?
7. We all want to be heroes or funny anti-heroes.
Yeah, I saw Deadpooland laughed so hard my sides hurt. I’m having a bit of a Ryan Reynolds week (how often can you say that?), saw Woman In Gold too, how does Helen Mirren do it? But we don’t have to wear a cape, or a mask, have mutant powers, or fancy gadgets…just be good to one another. But if you get a chance to be be Batman and drive the Batmobile, do that too. Kindness is true heroics.
The Cons? Maybe another time, or…all of the above? Anything you want to add?
Seeing is believing,
or is it believing is seeing?
Or not seeing is believing?
There are things we can’t see that we believe in, and things we can’t see we don’t believe in. How do we choose? I can’t see atoms, air, sunshine, germs, Wi-Fi, magic, ghosts, hope, despair, Santa, love, hate, vampires, cancer, pain, mental illness, God, aliens, pain, good, evil, a cat’s purr, microwaves, pollution, carbon monoxide, autism, a baby’s breath…
Should we assume none of these are real?
I can feel the sunshine on my skin, hear a cat’s purr, use the internet, witness the horror of cancer…Geez, at this point, I’m held together with the duct tape of atoms and hope. If those things are real without being seen, why not the others? It’s not the same in blogging, we have to be seen. But how?
1. You know those little bubbles in carbonated drinks, all fizzy, tickling the nose, and expanding the stomach? That’s blogging. It can be effervescent, pleasing, irritating, confounding, overwhelming, addictive. And while most of us don’t want to expand our stomachs, we do want to expand our readership. If you’re just doing it for yourself, that’s great, but then why do it online, why not in a journal or diary?
2. Don’t fixate on number of views. Blog as often as you and your readers enjoy. Do it for the fun of it, for money (stupid question, money is a necessary evil), fame, a book deal, movie deal (I just had an image of who might portray me in the movie of my life, Helena Bonham Carter? No, probably Mindy Cohn).
5. Your readers won’t always ‘get’ what you’re blogging about or agree. Some will be disinterested, some downright rude…Keep wandering through the blogging desert (or dessert) and you’ll find the awesome ones, astounding ones, generous ones, hopeful ones, ones that inspire, ignite, and make you overjoyed you ever heard the term, blogging.
6. Blogging is about being part of something, otherwise you’d just sit alone typing…and we’ve seen the movies – that can either lead to a bestseller…or murder.
As a young child I believed many things, if I watched a movie again the ending might change, or the money I put in the bank would be the exact same money I’d get out…my Mom, who worked at the credit union at the time had the delightful task of teaching me this life lesson when I wanted my ‘lucky’ quarter from my account. Oops.
Now, older, wiser, I may not believe what I used to believe, or have to see to believe; I may not always know what to believe, but I still want to believe. What about you?
As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).
I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.
1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.
2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.
3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?
4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.
5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.
6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.
7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?
8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.
9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.
10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.
Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).
Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.
If I said anything wonky during my blog party https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.
Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?
Be brave. Be bold. Choose love…and naps…and cake (not necessarily in that order).
Decisions. The average person now makes more decisions in a day than most did in weeks, months, even years. Decisions can engulf us. Haunt us. Overwhelm us. Interrupt us. Even stalk us in our dreams, ummm, a Nightmare on Choice Street? Choices are great, but too many can make it difficult, or almost impossible to make and trust decisions. Then comes the morning after, littered with “Did I make the right choice?”, “What did I do?”, “Can I return this?”, “What was I thinking?”.
Even in blogging there are so many decisions. At first, it felt frightening, like I was that boy in Jurassic Park, when Dr. Grant was explaining how Velociraptors kill.
Now I’m more like Chris Pratt, on a motorcycle, riding with the Velociraptors in Jurassic World, which for me was an all-out, action-packed cheesefest (in a good way), but a noticeable lack of Jeff Goldblum.
And yes, we’ve all made the wrong decisions, like someone thinking it was a good idea to make a certain theme park ride that shall remain nameless, ok, Tomorrowland, into a movie. It had its moments, mainly involving George Clooney and Hugh Laurie – I do so enjoy when Laurie’s given a chance to rant.
Even after years of blogging I still have trouble making some decisions, and have more blank-I-just-can’t-make-this-decision-moments than would seem humanly possible..but mostly it’s much, much more like It’s A Small World After All.
Blogging has taken me to places I might never have gone:
2. Hopeful places…
Thank you, Mary Smithhttp://www.marysmith.co.uk/ for your riveting novel, No More Mulberries and equally entrancing non-fiction offering, Drunk Chickens and Burnt Macaroni: Real Stories of Afghan Women. Reminding us that so much of the stereotypes, drama, and propaganda are fabrications – to sell products, news, and government policies; that strength, compassion, and hope still blossoms, especially in the hearts of the oppressed.
4. Complex places… Ever wonder what happened after? You know, afterDarcy and Elizabeth, afterJane Eyre and Rochester? Some authors take up the challenge and continue the classic stories. It’s awfully daring, foolhardy, or just cashing in. In the case of Luccia Grayhttp://lucciagray.com/ – I’m going with daring. As a reader, I didn’t feel this was just to piggyback on the fame, but because Gray loves the enigmatic character, and wanted to continue Eyre’s story through her Eyre Hall Trilogy. The first book, All Hallows at Eyre Hall draws you in, and by the second, Twelfth Night at Eyre Hallyou’re on tenterhooks, awaiting more.
One way or another, we’re all busy.
Finding blogs we enjoy is challenging enough, but making time to read them is daunting.
Why not put all the awesome blogs in one place?
I promised you a blog party https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/24/take-it-easy/
Here it is! 1. Mix and mingle, refreshments to your left beside the archives (what do you think of the new theme?). 2. Please leave your blog link or post link in the comment box below along with any introductions. One link per comment, but come back as often as you’d like. 3. Please reblog to spread the word or like, share on Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, Facebook, etc. Like, share, reblog, tell your family, friends and blogneighbours. 4. I will visit and respond asap (at the snail’s pace I’m moving these days, the next Star Wars film could be out before my asap…kidding ). 5. Have fun, it’s a great way to find bloggers and have them find you.
Thank you for coming to the party and for supporting my blog…You’ve made blogging a decision I’ll never regret.
Maybe I didn’t blog love Quite as often as I could Maybe I didn’t treat posts Quite as good as I should If you felt like second best Sorry, it’s just lack of time You were always on my mind (you were always on my mind) You were always on my mind
Well I’m a-runnin’
(ok, walking quickly)
down the road,
tryin’ to loosen
I’ve got seven
on my mind
Four million that want to own me, two that want to stone me, one that could be a friend of mine.
Take it easy, take it easy.
Don’t let the sound of your own words drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can. Don’t even try to understand. Just find a place to make your stand, and take it easy…
Whether in blogging, work, love, parenting, friendship…The Eagles (goodbye Glenn Fry) had it right – take it easy. The sound of your own wheels (the ones turning in your brain) aka the sound of your own words – spoken, written, or even in your head can drive you crazy. Instead, I want to Take It Easy, to celebrate – despite the war and strife, the Canadian dollar sinking faster than the Titanic (the ship, not the movie)…
rising food prices (wait, how many were going to eat cauliflower in January anyway? Eat in season, or frozen), Star Wars mania, lack of affordable housing and healthcare, loss, illness…but at least there’s no zombies, and I still have all of you – my readers and other bloggers!
You make me happy when skies are grey, you’ll never know, dears, how much I love you – thank you, thank you, thank you for being here!
Friday January 29th we’re going to beat the January blahs, the winter ennui, the snow woes with a knockout blog party!
I was trying to get it together for this week, but seriously, The X-Files is returning, my hold of Season 3 of Orphan Black came in at the library, my son has a Pokemon thingie, schoolwork, housework, workwork, lifework, adulting, decisions, snow, cold, snow, cold (repeat)…I think I’m catching a cold, oh, and did I mention The X-Files is returning?
And some of you may have noticed I’ve been trying out new themes. Turns out choices are limited for mobile-friendly themes in the ‘Free’ category on WordPress, but I will choose in time to expose it (oh my!) for the celebration!!!
Come back Friday January 29th and join in the fun! It’s easy, leave your blog link or a link to an old post, new post, red post, blue post in the comment box (one link per comment, but come back as often as you like). Introduce yourself, wander around, eat some cake, be astonished at the size of my archives (oh my!), and mingle with the other bloggers. There will be virtual cake, blogging advice, and who knows what else! It may take awhile, but I promise I’ll read, visit, and reply to everyone!
One thing I’ve yet to regret (but the day is young) is blogging. I’ve virtually met some words-cannot-express-how-awesome people here who’ve welcomed me with open arms into their blogging family.
And I get swag! Really, my mail carrier randomly hands me treats! Like books (my drug of choice), or chocolates from Chicago I won from the enchanting Cherhttps://thechicagofiles.wordpress.com/ a delightful friend, blogger, and ex-pat Canadian. Yes, I got a box of chocolates delivered to my door just for reading a blog post! I love blogging! Those poor chocolates didn’t make it through the night – next of kin was notified…then eaten.
It may seem like the internet is a giant virtual haystack and we’re just tiny needles, but we can find each other with blogging parties and thanks to the tireless efforts of amazing and generous bloggers like:
Also known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy (not to be confused with the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek, totally different kind of heart-racing); this condition is most often stress-induced.
Wow, you really can die from a broken heart.
So, how can you mend a broken heart? I’m neither a doctor, nor a therapist, nor one of The BeeGees, but I wish I had the answer, because mine is Under Pressure.
People die. David Bowie died. As did Alan Rickman. And a bunch of other people. We’ve all had family and friends who have died.
My point? Moments in time are just that. Big or small, once they’re gone, they’re gone. Life is for the living, even if you can now fulfill all your funeral needs (with drop dead prices) while buying vats of olive oil at Costco. They offer killer deals on multi-packs too. Check out their 6-foot deep discounts on dirt in the Home and Garden Section. Ok, I’m almost done. Prices to die for! Now I’m done. So instead of spending money on flowers, candles, and stuffed animals that rot in the streets, mourn and honour those we’ve lost by helping the living.
5 Ways I’m Not Under Pressure:
1. Bowie was a voice that told me to be me when I wondered if I should be someone else – I will forever adore and blame him for that, or at least blame him for being so persuasive. Goodnight, Mr. Bowie and thanks.
2.Alan Rickman made me Truly, Madly, Deeply – laugh (Galaxy Quest), cringe and cry (Harry Potter), shiver (Die Hard), and sigh (Sense and Sensibility). Goodbye.
3. I’ve lost many people in the last few years. I miss them. I wish I could see them again, but at least as time goes by my trips down memory lane, while frequent, are less bumpy, the ride is smoother around the edges.
4.When I was young, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, we used to train it to Toronto to see concerts – before train fares and concert tickets skyrocketed. I was a goth/punk girl who didn’t know anything, but I sure had fun learning. My friend (who passed away almost a year ago) and I would hang around places like The Eaton’s Centre, knitting, reading, listening to a giant silver boom box we’d lug around – no cellphones or MP3 players back then. We met loads of cool people, ie. The Ramones, David Bowie, etc. I’m sure the meetings weren’t memorable to them, but for us it was like those voices that made us happy, made us dance came to life. When Bowie walked by we broke into a spontaneous chorus of Rebel, Rebel. This earned us tickets to his show, even backstage (whispered instructions to one of his entourage, of course). If we’d worried about looking silly, we would’ve missed dancing and swaying to the sounds on the stage. We wouldn’t have met lots of fascinating people, famous and never-gonna-be-famous. We wouldn’t have started a music magazine, raised money for those in need, got tons of cool promo stuff…Again, life is not only for the living, it’s to be lived. Take a chance, be brave, be bold, be in the here and now. Memories are fun, but not fuel for life.
5. Speaking of living – The X-Files reboot is only days away. The Truth Is Out There once again, just a,er, tad older…like me. I watched the spooky premiere on September 10, 1993 and never looked back. The only time I remember missing it was the night my son was born (totally, totally worth it). I thought of calling him Fox, but also a major Buffy fan, so…Xander it is.
Ashes to ashes, dust to stardust, we know people we loved and lost are still with us…No Pressure.
Thanks to all of you for standing by me, supporting me, my blog, and my blogging break.
Against all odds, I’ve tried to keep up with your blogs too, but couldn’t seem to muster the energy or inspiration to write a post myself.
I’ve resolved not to make any resolutions this new year, but to keep exploring this uncharted life of mine.
But here’s what happened when I was gone, sort of….
1. I learned I’m never going to be a proper gym bunny. It seems to involve an excessive amount of hair-flipping, giggling, spandex, and a thong or two where they don’t belong or two.
2.Inconsiderate people keep using my public library to take out books I wish to read. On a brighter note, they’ve increased the hold limit to 60 items!
3. Another plane, another train, but no way to get those Beastie Boys outta of my brain. Every time I see or hear an ad for the movie, Brooklyn voices inside my head sing: “No sleep till Brooklyn!”.
4. If you don’t try you can’t fail, but you can’t succeed either.
5.I miss when stuff didn’t have so many names or labels, when you could just like what you liked. My lovely childhood crushes on Tom Baker, Kirk, and Bobby Darin, ok, that one ended badly when I found out he’d been dead for several years (somewhere beyond the sea, for sure), anyway, all that would now be called ‘fangirling’. Long before Mr. Darcy plunged into that lake and Daryl Dixon picked up a crossbow, I had labels I didn’t know about. Forget labels, just be you, that’s enough.
6. People who say, “I’m not going to say I told you so” are really saying, “I told you so”.
7. I missed blogging! I needed a break, to write my book, catch up on life, which is being dreadfully uncooperative, but I missed this and you, dear readers and I bet you missed all my, er, blogging advice.
8. Imagine, you win millions in the lottery, would you spend it on a vanity project? That’s what Alice (Kristen Wiig) does in Welcome To Me, a weird little film with a big, brilliant cast including: Tim Robbins, Joan Cusack, James Marsden, Wes Bentley, Linda Cardellini, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Alan Tudyk. Full of uncomfortable moments, it had me questioning quite a few things, especially blogging – is blogging just a vanity project, a sort of emotional exhibitionism?
9. While suffering from Doctor Who, The Walking Dead, Haven, The Blacklist, Into The Badlands withdrawal, which wasn’t pretty and mostly consisted of me trying not to whine about it, since these are clearly First World Problems, to the extreme, I decided to read more (is that possible?). Why not get caught up on a few of the fascinating ‘And Philosophy…’ series from Open Court? I started with Doctor Who and Philosophy, then Downton Abbey,Homeland, and The Walking Dead. I noticed all these books toil to shatter the myth that TV is simply a vast cultural wasteland. Fighting zombies, taking tea, traveling through time and space, those are hooks to get us to watch and keep watching, it’s really about the interaction between the characters, the choices, the sacrifices, those moments when we see ourselves and feel or learn something. If it can happen in a book, why can’t it happen on TV or in movies? I love these books because like the TARDIS, they’re bigger on the inside, making me feel all esoteric, ideologicalish, and thinky, but without getting that time-consuming philosophy degree. Just the way I like it.
10. I sometimes forget (or wish to forget) what a tricky beast and ruthless, relentless taskmaster Fibromyalgia can be, but I’ll keep trying to keep on keeping on…easier said than done.
Tomorrow we could be alive or dead, but today, my friends, today we are alive, so go out there and live.
Twas the week before Christmas
(almost two till my birthday)…
When all through the blogosphere…
not a blogger was stirring…
ok, some are stirring, but mostly cocktails…
Yet posts were still flying out with hopes that readers might give them a shout!
Christmas isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for bloggers, readers and many bloggers are off prepping for the big day, partying, waiting in line for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and of course, searching for perfect gifts.
Here are some, er, helpful last-minute gift ideas for those hard to buy for folks:
1. O Christmas tree! As a cautionary note, unlike in the movies, apparently it’s ‘frowned upon’, some might even say illegal, to just randomly cut trees down. Who knew?
2. Draw happy faces on all their socks/nylons so they’ll feel happy as they start each day. Or sneak into their house or room and draw a happy face on their wall, or mirror in red lipstick or paint. Wait, is that creepy? Nah, it’ll be a fun surprise.
3. Fix something for them: TV, car, fridge, cellphone, alarm system, computer, appliances, sewing machine, etc. Even if none were broken (but might be after), it’s the thought that counts.
4. Donate to a cause in their name or better yet, start a foundation in their name, I’m sure it won’t affect their taxes…much.
5. Sing them a song, but only if your voice doesn’t resemble fingernails on a chalkboard, mastodons dying in a tar pit, Bridget Jones singing, or my Mom singing (love you, please don’t sing).
6. Indie books. Mass-produced can be good, but a steady diet can leave you feeling flat. Best thing about indie, less cookie cutter, same goes for everything. Like indie author/blogger, A.H. Browne who kindly beamed aliens into my email. As they scurried around my brain, I was laughingly sucked into space to cavort (hey, I can cavort with the best of them) through the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere. That sounds familiar, did I spend time there in my youth, next to CBGB, right? Book One of The Otherwhere Chronicles made me reluctant to return to Earth, like when you’re at a party, it’s past time to go home, but you think, just a few minutes more. If you’re feeling brave and in need of some fun, visit Arthur at http://pouringmyartout.com/ – don’t say I didn’t warn you! Any indie authors reading this, please add links in the comment box below where your work can be found (heck, it’s Christmas, anyone add links).
I had too much to dream last night.
I feel like I have a dream hangover.
I woke from my confusing, at times,
exhilarating Dickens’ A Christmas Carol-like dream
(unfortunately no Muppets), but
filled with revelations.
First, I was visited by Donald Trump who told me 3 others would visit that night. It was terrifying, he wore the chains of greed, intolerance, and suffering he’d forged link by link…it seemed like there was more of the hairspray than grave about him.
Then Colin Firth showed up as my Ghost of Christmas Pastin the white shirt from Pride and Prejudice(you know the one ladies). This dream just got a whole lot better. He reminded me that all things past are actually always still with us…
1. Christmas songs are playing everywhere yet I rarely hear Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron by The Royal Guardsman. It’s my all-time fav, it’s about peace on Earth, goodwill, and about how even the worst of enemies can put aside their differences, if only for a little while…we sure need more of that.
2. Dean Cain and many others we haven’t seen in a while do still have careers, kinda, hey, I like Christmas movies.
3. And even on a crummy morning a gingerbread man still makes his bed with cookie sheets.
Then Taylor Kinney (without fiancée, Lady Gaga…hey, it’s my dream) floated in as my Ghost of Christmas Present (subconscious you’re so good to me) dressed as Fireman and reminded me that despite the season, it’s getting hot in here. Whether it was just a hot flash or I’m watching too much Chicago Fire (is that possible?), I woke up in a sweat. Back to my dream, rescue me.
4. Christmas is about giving. Though I’m broke and obscure I still believe in giving to others and weirdly, sometimes you get stuff back. For example, by donating, I won a month gym membership and a few other goodies. So now I can be buff like Arnold, though I’m saying this in Schwarzeneggar accent, the buff part seems unlikely.
5. I’ve noticed my Mom (a senior) and my son (a teen with Autism) have a much fuller social life than I do, I need to work on that. And the only action I’m getting is from my latest mammogram.
6. I don’t have to wait in line for some guy in a red suit to make me promises, I’ll make some to myself.
My Ghost of Christmas Future was Norman Reedus, well, actually Daryl Dixon (my dream, so he’s holding a cat reminding us to Shop Cruelty Free https://www.crueltyfreeinternational.org/ – I’d like to add, that goes for people as well), who showed me that…
7. Christmas could be a little late this year, instead of making toys, Santa and the elves are already lined up to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
8. The Christmas feeling could be there, even without the gifts, the lights, the decorations, chocolate (this one is iffy), turkey and toys, even without the Christmas.
9. Ordinary rules of time and space don’t apply to Santa or The Doctor (Hello Sweetie, Doctor Who Christmas Special on almost Boxing Day – Christmas but late, can’t wait, but it’s times like these I miss David Tennant), but they do apply to us, we only have so much time in this world.
Can happiness or success be measured by what we have instead of the joy and comfort we bring to others? Do we really think in the end, we’ll care about how much we shopped, what car we drove, how big our home was, if we had the latest iPhone, or what we were wearing? Or will we remember the good times, the fun times, the laughter, the kindness, the little moments.
This season, remember a date on a calendar is just that, but life, life is for living, every day.
Oh yes, and if you don’t see me around here for a bit, I’ve checked myself into Clementine rehab.
if after all
To go over
Hello, can you hear me? I’m in Canada dreamingabout who I’ll one day be Hello from the other side Feels like I’ve blogged a thousand times I sometimes forget, uphill can make you rest And at least I can say I tried
Not as much tears me up anymore So hello from the other side Feels like I’ve blogged a thousand times
Thanks Adele, like ‘Hello’is ever leaving my head.
Hello, I’m probably one of the most honest people ever – except I lie.
When I say I’m fine, sometimes, I lie.
Even if it’s mostly to myself.
I haven’t been well for a while now, even more so than usual, which is saying something. I’ve been pushing through with sheer force of will, but even that is wearing thin.
Apparently I need more ‘self-care’, which apparently, I’m very not ‘good’ at it.
So when an unlikely source, Groupon threw me a line – 50% off movies and popcorn (I brought the popcorn home for my son), I thought, why not? I wasn’t disappointed to watch The Hunger Games take its final bow on the big screen, except the title Mockingjay Part 2, really, that’s kind of boring, how about The Mockingjay Awakens, or Mockingjay Hurray! or an Australian version, Mockingjay G’day! I wasn’t thrilled by The Hunger Games books, but I did enjoy exploring our world, choices, freedoms and illusions of, through this world, onscreen more. When Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) keeps asking Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence), ‘Real or Not Real’, I understood. Too often the world can feel violent and even surreal, but what is real…or not real? I suppose the best we can do is try to stand for something, or we’ll fall for anything.
Christmas music jingled away as I waited for the movie to begin, and I realized, blogging and Christmas have a lot more in common than I thought, like…
1. It’s better to give than receive. Even if you feel you don’t have enough, try to help others in some way. In blogging you can give by: ‘liking’, ‘sharing’, and/or ‘commenting’. You may not agree with every word, but appreciate that blogger took the time to post (as you wish to be appreciated).
2. Connection – you never know who you’re going to virtually meet and how they’ll change your life, or you theirs.
3. Fruitcake and posts – love, hate, like bits of, or given time, both could be used to prop open a door to…
4. Lots of surprises, awkward moments, comfort, joy, regifting, and more than a few ugly sweaters (still, it’s all in the eye of the beholder).
5. Plenty of glitz and fancy bits, yet sometimes, the substance and what really matters still shines through.
6. Gingerbread, yes, delightful, but sometimes hard to handle, especially without breaking.
9. Posts hung like stockings by the internet chimney with care, with hopes that readers soon will be there.
8. Cookies, meals out, eggnog, and other holiday treats, all awesome, but too many and you start to feel sluggish, tired, irritable, and overwhelmed. Blogging can be the same – know yourself, know your readers.
9. We can all be Santa’s Elves filling Santa’s shelves – bringing posts, perhaps comfort and joy…
10. Cookies, carrots, comments, posts, shares, maybe some milk (or in some cases, more adult libations) – all left for those we hope will show up.
11. Visions of sugar plums. Hoping to inspire and please, but sometimes, as hard as we try, our posts, our holidays, our days fall flat. There’s no time limit on getting up, or starting over. Dust off and try again!
12. Christmas trees, all different, just as all blogs are different. Don’t worry if you have the right niche, enough followers, comments, likes, etc. Don’t overthink. Send your creativity into the world, who knows what will come of it…anything, everything.
With blogging and Christmas and everything else, be brave, do what you feel, even if it goes wrong, you tried and that can’t really be wrong. Slow down, take the time to really enjoy and take it all in (including chocolate).
The good stuff doesn’t always make the bad stuff easier to take, but the bad stuff doesn’t always ruin the good stuff either.
We should try to be grateful for the good stuff, especially when there’s bad stuff.
We Could Be Grateful For:
1. Family and friends. The memory of family and friends. The possibility of family and friends.
2. Knowledge, free will, and finding respectful ways to agree to disagree.
3. Enjoying what you have, instead of always thinking about what you want.
4. Remembering both the good times and the bad – and not living in either.
5. Enjoying the everyday things. Life isn’t about the big moments.
6. Finding happiness, peace, or contentment, especially by making others happy, peace-filled, or contented.
7. Life and knowing that most people know it’s worth.
8. Being you. Don’t compare yourself to others.
9. Bad times, so you can appreciate the good times.
10. Giving – stuff, time, comfort, inspiration, hope, information…you.
Terror, in many forms has wormed it’s way into our lives, not just with violence, but with weapons such as: fear, rudeness, abuse, inequality, neglect, distractions, complacency, disrespect, self-righteousness, ignorance, intolerance, lying, scandal, gossip, corruption, manipulation, dogma, bullying, blame, and all those ‘gotcha’ moments.
We can change. Some will say we can’t, or worse, that’s just the way it is. Expect change. Be that change.
People can disagree, debate, wrangle, bicker, even argue, hopefully respectfully.
There’s also no need to agree, you have the right to disagree, again, respectfully.
Attacking anyone, verbally or physically, for their beliefs is pointless.
We can’t overcome hate with hate.
We can’t win by fighting.
Even if you feel hate, choose love or at least, forgiveness.
Even if you feel indifference, choose compassion.
Especially if you feel despair, choose hope.
I worry being ‘shocked’ every time something terrible happens, posting platitudes, changing profile pictures, holding vigils, leaving tokens, decrying the monsters, and placing blame gives the illusion of doing something when really, it’s mostly shopping, social media, socializing, and symbolism.
Wouldn’t it be more comforting to help those in need? To donate food, clothing, money for shelter and medical care instead of making piles of flowers, candles, stuffed animals, and flags that will just become garbage? I don’t understand, if we want to show respect why not help those who are still alive and suffering?
We need to find out how to change what’s happening, or brace ourselves for more of the same, or worse. The first rule of holes, when you’re in one, stop digging, and try to find a way out.
What’s coming will come, so instead of focusing on those who do harm, who spread fear and hate, let’s be grateful for those who help, who protect – those who do good in this world. They deserve our focus, not just after a tragedy, or crisis, or disaster, but all the time.
My heart goes out to the family and friends of those who have lost loved ones, death is tragic, no matter the circumstances…and to anyone suffering, everywhere.
Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.
Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling) You used to like me on my blog post Late or early when I needed blog love And I know when that hotline pinged It could only mean one thing… But these days, you’ve become a ghost Wonder if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast
But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…
I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:
1. I’d have a computer, in my home.
2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.
3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.
4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.
5. Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…
6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.
7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.
8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.
9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.
10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.
11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.
12. My body would be my worst enemy.
13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.
14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.
15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).
16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).
17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.
18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.
19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.
20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.
So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.
Regrets I’ve had a few, then again too few to mention.
So what if
my life is riddled
with plot holes
and logical gaps?
I have flaws and quirks (I say adorable, some may beg to differ).
I’m thoughtful and thoughtless.
Brilliant and oh so dumb, sometimes astonishingly, at the same time.
I’m a gloriously human jumble.
So why do we expect our entertainment to be perfect when we aren’t? As humans, we get caught up in things, even now, computers are galactically buzzing about the new Star Wars, loving it, trashing it, or both, and it hasn’t even hit theaters yet. I admit, my unease intensifies as The Force Awakens.
There were times, I’m sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew-ie and I didn’t want to become blaster fodder. And Disney buying Star Wars made my complicated relationship go full Death Star explosion (scared of it I am). But Star Wars On Trial looked interesting, so I let the tractor beam pull me in (that’s no moon, that’s a blog post!).
I consider myself an intelligent viewer (is that an oxymoron?), so I selected the 8th charge against the accused iconic franchise, The Plot Holes and Logical Gaps in Star Wars Make It Ill-Suited for An Intelligent Viewer.
I agree, sometimes watching these movies, I just want to say, go home Star Wars you’re drunk, but I believe those who consume the story are culpable, not the storyteller.
Upon first review of the charges, perhaps it does seem like only morons would enjoy movies like Star Wars –I’m paraphrasing, the witnesses for prosecution, Nick Mamatas and defense, Don DeBrandt were actually quite witty and eloquent. Star Wars certainly did it all and not in a shy way, oh no, let the record show George Lucas took the blows, and did it his way.
I’ll state my case, of which I’m sorta certain, the details of the story aren’t nearly as important as the story itself. Why? Because we are the story.
We are Yoda, who trained Luke (more or less), but once said Anakin was too old to train, back in the days of surplus Jedi.
We are Obi-Wan Kenobi, I mean, Ben Kenobi hiding Luke Skywalker in plain sight, on a barren planet where most everything wants to kill him – guess we know who the favoured child was.
We are Darth Vader (really, you didn’t recognize your own kids?), Han Solo, Amidala, Picard, The Avengers, The Doctor, Sherlock, Buffy, Leia, Luke (ewww, dude, you kissed your sister), The Lorax, Bugs Bunny, Scarlett O’Hara, Rick Grimes (You think it’s a plot hole, but it ain’t!), Rocky, Capt. Jack, Batman, Frodo, C-3PO, Scully, Mulder, Scrooge, Kirk, James Bond, Edward Scissorhands, Simpsons, Reddington (The Blacklist is a logical gap, who cares, watching James Spader read menus would be entertaining),
Chewie, Daryl Dixon, Darcy, Katniss, Joker, Boo Radley (having a moment), The Griffins, Keyser Söze, Willy Wonka, Don Draper, Bridget Jones, Charlie Brown, Harry Potter, Walter White, Spock, R2-D2 (the real hero of SW) and more…
No spoilers, I enjoyed all the sci-fi and fantasy authors, including, but not limited to David Brin and Matthew Woodring Stover who diligently prosecuted and defended the idolized, intriguing, yet infuriating series while the Droid Judge (This isn’t the Droid Judge you’re looking for) attempted to keep order.
And enter to win a free copy of Star Wars on Trial fromBenBella Books (Canada or U.S only). In the comment box below, tell me your most hated or loved plot hole or logical gap (any book, movie, TV show, or life). Notification via droid (or me) November 15, 2015 – all contact will be confidential.
I would say life isn’t logical. How could it be when we live it on a baffling blue ball twirling in space like a tattered ballerina in a vintage music box?
Stories are told by humans and therefore, delightfully flawed.
Think of it like extra cheese on lasagna, yes, it’s irrelevant, but does that mean it shouldn’t have happened? Life is messy. Take a bite.
I was working
on my blog,
late one night
When my eyes
an eerie sight
For my post
from its slab,
began to rise
to my surprise
It did the mash,
it did the Monster Meet and Greet Mash!
A monster blogger mash, it was a graveyard smash!
It did the mash, it caught on in a flash…
It did the mash, it did the monster blog mash!
The zombies and bloggers were having fun,
The blog party had just begun…
The scene was rockin’, we were digging the shares,
Some were commenting, well, those who dared
So add your link and des-crypt-ion, girls and guys,
Then suddenly to your surprise…
You can mash, you can monster blogger mash!
While I often say the best part of blogging is ‘meeting’ other bloggers, readers, etc., it’s been too long since we hung together, so welcome to the party, please, feel free to leave your blog name, a link to your blog or favourite post(s), and a des-crypt-ion. And pass it on: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Tumblr, Google+, LinkIn,or reblog, so others can dig it too…
For some special treats, drop by some of the other blogs and Suzie’s Blog Party on Halloweenhttp://suzie81speaks.com (fabulous British blogger and creator of Twitter’s popular #SundayBlogShare). I’ll check back, enjoy the snacks, but I have some busy times ahead, including preparing something completely different…Hopefully I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew-ie and end up as blaster fodder. May The Force be with me.
Yes, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year People dressing as ghosts, goblins, and ghouls, Celebrities, minions, villains, and fools Filled with fun, food, and fear It’s the most wonderful time of the year
It’s the hap-happiest season of all With trick or treat greetings and candy meetings Friends and strangers coming to call It’s the hap-happiest season of all
There never seems to be enough time
to do the things you want to do,
but there might be,
if I stopped blogging…
But I like blogging…
Yet it’s time-consuming…
Once you’ve let that blogging genie out of the bottle, there’s no turning back. I keep trying to get away, but blogging keeps pulling me back in.
I also like making people laugh, I might be the one during the apocalypse: “Knock Knock.” Random guy, “Who’s there?”“Zombie.”“Zombie who?” Me running, yelling, “Zombie, behind you, run!”
Then again, too much time isn’t always good, when I have time to think, I often feel like an alien in this world. Not the rubbery, gray, tall, skinny aliens, more like the ET-hey-I-landed-on-your-planet-I need-to-phone-home-wow-your-long-distance-plan-sucks-at-least-the-snacks-are-yummy-does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat-type alien.
Going out on a limb, I’d say I’m not the only one who’s ever felt they’re waiting for the mothership to take them back to their home planet.
If only I’d arrived with an instruction manual. I know my parents wish I did.
Time runs by us, screaming like a babysitter in a horror movie. And as another Halloween creeps up, let us pay our last respects to things gone, but not forgotten…maybe they’ll return someday (hopefully not as zombies):
1. Hairspray, you once permeated every part of our lives, especially our lungs…guess we’re kinda grateful big hair is dead.
2. Mixed tapes have gone to join the choir invisible – mixed emojis?
3.Adieu giving up your seat to someone elderly or disabled or pregnant; apparently now they must fend for themselves, Game of Thrones-style.
4.Farewell phones, attached to a cord, instead of our hand or head.
5. Once loved and adored, held up on a pedestal, billboards, race cars, own section in the grocery store…poor little gluten, now dead to many, a social pariah.
6. RIP, ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, and ‘You’re Welcome’, now ghosts of civilities past.
7. Quiet time, without tweets, updates, texts, and emails has kicked the bucket…Remember? Probably not, with all the digital amnesia…
8. Showing up at your new neighbours with baked goods has shuffled off this mortal coil; no friendly greetings, just pepper spray, the police, and/or speech on food allergies.
9. Bereft of life are ‘Thank You’ notes, but I’m still thankful to people who say cardshark instead of cardsharp, so I can picture a shark playing poker.
10.Talking to plants is now pushin’ up the daisies, can’t we just text them, telling them 2 gro?
11. Not asking for gifts and money has kinda bought the farm – #gimme is society’s new hashtag.
12. Wobbly inside-out pools hidden under threads of Egyptian cotton; waterbeds gone to their watery grave.
13. Patience is at death’s door, but really, there’s nothing you could possibly have to do (or explain to a judge) that’s worth putting children at risk, on Halloween, or any time. Please pay attention while driving, I promise that absolutely fascinating tweet, update, text, or email about:
how porcupines mate without stabbing each other,
the shape of dog’s poop,
a divine fat, gluten and dairy-free no-bake cheesecake recipe (can that still be called cheesecake?),
cats robbed of their dignity via the internet,
if Bon Jovi’s hair is still real (see #1),
which Kardashian is getting married or divorced (all of them),
if Taco Bell is health food (it’s not),
finding out who died on The Walking Dead (hint hint, no one, they’re actors),
Justin Bieber’s private parts (what part of private is hard to understand, Justin?),
discussions about Donald Trump’s IQ (rich doesn’t equal smart)…
will all be there later, sadly. If not, what did you really miss?
I guess we make time to do the things we want to do, so I’ll save every blogging day ’til blog eternity passes away, just to spend them with you, dear readers.
October conjures images of:
Fall leaves, crisp nights… pumpkins and pumpkin spice…Halloween, candy, black cats…sexy Hunger Games costumes, yeah, I’ve stopped asking why at this point…
Apparently, scary is definitely different for different people.
For some scary is:
The dark – where all the known and unknown creep.
Horror movies that make people hide their eyes, but have to peak.
The price of groceries or hydro (both terrifying).
Trying on bathing suits (could turn your hair white).
Dating, parenting, love…
Loss of those we love. Christmas or any holidays with in-laws.
Elections, wars, politicians.
Loss of cellphone reception (The horror! The horror!).
Running out of chocolate (now that’s horror!).
Liars, vampires, aliens, monsters, sparkly vampires, zombies…
I started blogging to relax, reignite my love of writing, and to be rich/famous (not necessarily in that order) – 555 posts later, well, two out of three ain’t bad. No one warned it could be so scary!
Life doesn’t come with instructions, we have to grope our way through this at times terrifying funhouse – long strips of goodness, gooey badness, melty magnificence, and squishy horrors – blogging is pretty much the same.
It was a dark and stormy night…Start a blog they said. It’ll be fun they said.
1.You want the blog truth, you can’t handle the blog truth! By the flickering computer light and hum, something wicked this way comes…really, Shakespeare how would thou deal with: endless emails, trolls, glitches, and ghosts in the machine?
2. First, you find your way through the woods (aka the internet) to an old mansion (aka WordPress) where you start your blog. Soon, strange things start happening – stuff moves by itself, stuff disappears, and you find yourself alone, in the dark, and still, you hear the click, click, click of the keyboard…
3. Come up with a cunning plan, overly elaborate with, as a random example, a dog with a speech impediment; a drug-addled vegetarian with a groovy van; narcissistic metrosexual; frumpy geek girl who needs contacts; and constantly kidnapped drama queen.
4. Your loved ones look at you oddly as you repeatedly type: All work and no play makes Donna a dull girl…They complain you’re hunched over your shining computer, or using them for…inspiration.
5. Read aloud from online posts, only to realize, you’ve freed some ancient vengeful Babylonian deity…or worse, a telemarketer! Who you gonna call?
6. Invited to Bloggers Bash at a spooky mansion, you accept, bloggers are fun, right?
7.Pop over to Pinterest for a ‘minute’ tofind an image or inspiration…later you’re found wandering through the desert and learn you’ve been missing for 7 years and still didn’t find the right meme.
8. Fall asleep at your computer and wake up in a dream where a serial killer is hunting you, or worse, you’ve lost all your followers!
9. You decide to take a break from writing and take a bath or shower, you know better, but it’s been a long day.
10. You ask for books to review, but then …One, two, writers are coming for you. Three, four, publishers knock at your door. Five, six, who do you pick? Seven, eight, accept your fate. Nine, ten, never sleep again.
11.You turn to run from the glowing ooze on your keyboard, but there’s a evil clown or worse, housework behind you…your furniture is moving on it’s own, but it’s not getting dusted…Why? Oh why?
12.Through a series of unfortunate events, you find out your blog is built on an old cemetery and an ancient burial ground where rituals were performed. You could run to another platform, but that’s a lot of work.
13. So I will think of blogging not as a horror movie, but more like a community garden. We all work together to grow something remarkable. There will be ups and downs, but in the end, we’ll all be part of something amazing…as long as nothing comes alive to eat us.
All that peace and love stuff, it’s just idealistic mumbo jumbo, right?
Or is it?
While I admit I don’t understand a lot of stuff, but as long as it’s not really hurting anyone, why would I care?
Too often, the commonly held view seems to be that if we don’t agree, we’re at odds.
Like somehow 7 billion of us are suddenly going to start agreeing, or we have to battle it out Star Trek style.
For example, I find the rise of pumpkin spice alarming – apparently pumpkin spice is a season now, so the pumpkin spice must flow.
Here’s a completely incomplete list of stuff people do that I don’t ‘get’, or want to (no particular order):
1. Touching wet paint or wet cement – yes, it’s wet, move on. 2. Running water after going to the bathroom instead of actually washing your hands. 3. Lying, lying, and what was that other thing, oh yeah, lying. 4. Judging a person based on their skin tone, religion, race, nationality, whom they choose to love, clothes, home, family, etc.
5. Walking into traffic looking at a cellphone. 6. Bad driving. 7. Hurting others, especially children. 8. Loving something just because it’s endorsed by or has the name of a celebrity.
9. Using racism as a political strategy. 10. Fat shaming, and also those who say fat shaming is wrong, because they’re also calling people fat. 11. Having fictional conversations in your head with others (ok, done this). 12. Not smiling back at a child or being impatient when an elderly person is slowly walking down the stairs in front of you.
13. Yelling at furniture that jumped out and stubbed your toe (ok, I’ve totally done that). 14. Wearing uncomfortable shoes (especially with stubbed toes). 15. People who pretend they don’t fart (you do, we all do, own it). 16. Reading the instructions after you’ve done something.
17. Saying “I’m sorry” when you’re not sorry. 18. Unenvironmentalists (you know that should be a word). 19. Buying non-orange pumpkins. 20. Pretending you don’t wish some cool movie-like thing would happen to you today instead of just the usual stuff…come on, you really haven’t done this?
I can’t understand how people find the time or energy to judge, fight, or generally care so much about everyone else’s business. Does this have to do with our fight or flight response? Not running from sabre-tooth tigers (mostly), our fear response is now triggered by shopping (prices are terrifying), finding info on the internet (bloodcurdling), and politicians (I’ll take the tiger). Obviously our fear of scarcity has survived, so maybe those who are different or disagree feed into that fear. I’m just guessing, frankly, I’m baffled.
The internet just seethes with fear and loathing which is why I’m happy when I find bloggers who make me smile. David Prosser, a wonderful, funny, and caring blogger from Wales offered the world his Buthidars philosophy https://lorddavidprosser1.wordpress.com/ – a hug, a good deed, a simple gesture, a smile…forging a path toward peace.
And he shares his life each week at: https://barsetshirediaries.wordpress.com/ and kindly shared one of his novels, The Queen’s Envoy, with the caveat, it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Perhaps, but I emphatically enjoyed the fanciful flight of fictitious foibles. It reminded me of watching Bond movies with my Dad. As a child I didn’t understand what Pussy Galore, Holly Goodhead, and “Oh James!”really meant, but the spirit of adventure always made me feel like anything was possible. I like that feeling, wherever I can find it.
It’s Thanksgiving this weekend in Canada;I’m thankful we can all agree to disagree, eh. I don’t tell people they’re stupid for their beliefs and I don’t expect them to understand my complicated relationships with: chocolate, spiders, TV, sleep, housekeeping, kale, Jane Austen, gravity, technology, toenail clippers, Christmas, pools (you know, cause of sharks), clowns, Thanksgiving, meat, and life in general.
We don’t have to agree to have fun, be respectful, and add love and hope to the world.
Dear readers, I admit to being in a bit of a pickle.
In youth, life seemed limitless, infinite.
Writing was the same, I just wrote, not a lot of stopping to think.
Such is the power and joy of youth.
And as we age limitations don’t just come from the outside, but from your own body:
Sagging (oh no, those should still be much higher).
Weird spots randomly attach themselves to your skin (“Out, Damned Spot!” doesn’t work, believe me, I’ve tried).
Eating cake may seem more exciting and less work than other, er, strenuous activities…
But if you’re not aging, you’ve discovered the Fountain of Youth (good for you, care to share?), or you’re dead and you just don’t know it yet.
Sigh, so many things I wish I’d done or not done.
Sweet dreams lost, given up, given away, or stolen…
Sweet dreams fulfilled, waiting in the wings, and yet to come…
There’s also a certain grace, a wisdom, a knowing that comes with age, even for books. Remember how those new and shiny ebooks were going to destroy the book industry? Make books into relics only viewed in museums? Those dire predictions may have been premature. The texture and weight of a book in your hands tells you so much about the content; ebooks all feel the same.
Deep in our DNA, we’re storytellers, not just those who write, but those who read. We don’t just want to experience the stories, we want to share the stories. It’s about connection.
Many of those stories are by independent authors, not backed by a marketing budget larger than most of us will earn in a lifetime. Does that make them somehow less? Personally, I never cease to be amazed at the talent, the passion, the wonder never appreciated, just because it isn’t a bestseller.
I’ve reviewed books on and off for 30 years, yet ironically, I’m not always a fan of book reviews. I don’t enjoy a book report disguised as a review (we got it, you read the book, now, why should I?) and being told I should like or dislike a book. That’s silly, no one can tell you if you’ll like or dislike something, just why they liked or disliked it.
I love a story that transports me, takes me with the characters on their journey. I want to be there, a part of the story, which happened when I called upon Atonement, Tennessee…and never wanted to leave.
Teagan Riordain Geneviene kindly and brilliantly invites us to visit a small Southern town where things are not as they seem, but instead, is full of mystery, intrigue, murder, dashes of magic, romance…even a cat naturally more attuned and intelligent than her human counterparts (guess that goes without saying).
I admit being a tad miffed Atonement, Tennessee didn’t come with a warning label, something like: Don’t start reading if you have anything else you need to do for the next couple of days. Of course, obsessively reading this book also helped me cast the movie and/or TV series, let’s see, how about Ian Somerhalder, Richard Armitage, andDavid Tennant? Look how cute and cuddly they are…oh, and there’s cats too!
This is fantasy at its finest, but still left me wanting more…more…more…
Maybe I could 100% honest review your books too, just contact me, see, over there to your right – ‘Sending Me Stuff’.
Age can sure make you restless, even more so than in the bloom of youth, for we have the knowledge of what has been, what never was, and what could be. I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter what your age, and the only real limits are those of your courage and your convictions.
If you are reading this blog there’s a good chance you’re not just a reader, you could also be a blogger yourself…or one of my family or friends (Hi family and friends!).
What I mean is, many people who read blogs are also bloggers who send their creativity out there, into the universe, in one form or another, through an intricate web.
Yet too often,The Phantom of the Blogging Tips (er, Blogera? No? That’s not a thing?) is inside your mind, telling you how to blog instead of letting you find your own voice.
So before you’re past the point of no return:
1. Don’t second-guess yourself, there are literally millions of others out there willing to do that for you. Go with your instincts.
2. Before you post you may stop and think: will my readers like this, hate this, be offended, not press ‘Like’, will Unfollow, or what if they send an army of robot ants to carry me off in my sleep? Let me help, the answers are: Hopefully. Possibly. It’s a distinct possibility. Maybe. Hopefully not. And it’s the internet, stranger things have happened.
3. You’ll do a post you think is amazing, you’ll press publish (very important step, many bloggers forget this one) and tumbleweeds will roll across your blog and you’ll wonder, what did I do wrong? Probably nothing, most likely it was WordPress..again.
4. Your posts could be awesome, but people are busy and there’s an infinite amount of information out there…or they just can’t find your posts. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/Get out there and be your own Number One Fan (but not in a creepy Stephen King way).
6. Don’t be afraid to try something new or different. Tell us about a movie, a book, something you cook, draw, paint, build, remember, did, crafted, give us advice (we might not take it, doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear it)…anything, but it’s your voice we want to hear, authentic, not copied, or some regurgitated whatchamathingies we’ve read everywhere else.
7. Even if aliens are stealing your likes, keep trying, they’ll give up at some point or move on to another planet.
9. Keep a good sense of humour, balance, and if you can, relax, it’s just your diary you’re letting the whole world read, ok, when I say it like that it does sound kind of terrifying. But remember, when in doubt, chocolate out!
10. Find your own style, your own groove, your own path, your own magic. Cookie cutters are for Christmas, be yourself.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This applies in blogging too.
12. So ignore all The Phantoms of the Blogging Tips, even me. You can do this.
So let me get this straight – you take the good you take the bad you take the both and there you have The Facts of Life? That can’t be right. Can it? Am I getting this whole thing facts of life and happiness stuff all wrong? Maybe chocolate was the answer all along. Could it really be that easy? Could that be what the universe is trying to tell me as my happiness project carries on?
1. My brain, which doubles as an MP3 player, awakes to music, a foggy playlist scampering to Jack Johnson crooning, Upside Down then Blind Melon, David Bowie, and Tears For Fears all melodically reminisced about Change… 2. The pages of The Cake Therapist by Judith Fertig, came to life as I read, making me want more. Then I thought of Jennifer Aniston in Cake, amazing, but tissues at the ready. With cake, like life we gradually add one thing after another, hopefully in the right order, until there’s something delightful.
3. Luke Bryan wanted me to Kick the Dust Up(point me to a cornfield, cause, damn, that’s catchy). 4. I think my happy place may have vandals…maybe I didn’t lock up after the last time I left.
5. Never forget. 6. The basic insultiness of the TV adaptation of Pamela Redmond Satran’s Younger – all young people are flibbertigibbits/all older people are past their sell-by-date. Like Sex and the City you have to suspend belief, your hold on reality, even your dignity to buy what they’re selling. Begs the questions, could I pass for younger and if so, why? I would like the naturally elastic skin back. 7. Lisa Whelchel + Kim Fields + farm from Smallville, here’s a fact of life, yup, all in the same movie, For Better or Worse…ok, definitely worse.
1. Barenaked Ladies felt they needed to remind me of good times and that I don’t have a million dollars, but what I could do if I did.
2. Let’s Make A Deal is still on? What year is this? 3. Wilson Phillips begged me to Hold On (thanks, I got this). 4. Took a delicious and mind-etching bite of Wes Anderson’s droll, absurd The Grand Budapest Hotel. Can a movie be too amazing? If so, this is.
5. Tim McGraw told me to live like I was dyin’, well, duh. 6. Watched season première of Doctor Who…remembered why I love it. Let’s forget last season. 7. New series, Mr. Robot where Christian Slater seems to be reviving his Pump Up The Volume role, just older, but still angry. As a hacker, now instead of Talking Hard, he’s Typing Hard.
1. The clock ticks, my birthday looms, another season falls away…I guess even when you feel stuck, or trapped and there seems to be no escape, no way out (like in The Maze Runner, oh great, now I’m going to have Wild Boys by Duran Duran in my head), you can turn another corner and wow, you’re out…or maybe just borrow a ladder and climb out. 2. Really want to watch The Fault In Our Stars, not sure I’m ready for ugly crying, especially when I have a cold https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/06/the-fault-in-our-stars/ 3. Writing, like everything else doesn’t have to be perfect. Sometimes it’s perfect to just unfocus and be.
4. Should I read A Writer’s Guide to Persistence by Jordan Rosenfeld, or would I just gave up? 5. Does it weird anyone else out that if you remove an ‘s’, the French word for fish looks like poison?
6. I need to invent a way to eliminate dusting, perhaps by eliminating dust. 7. What if life is like a bowl of cherries and we’re the pits?
Maybe I just need some sleep…without The Cure burbling in on all 8 legs of Lullaby. If they’re The Cure, what was the disease again?
I think the internet should come with an instruction manual.
Or at the very least guidelines.
Have you seen some of the stuff on here?
Maybe start slow, something simple,
Don’t feed the trolls or don’t tweet when angry, sad, lonely…drunk, or ill-informed, without verification. For some, maybe just don’t tweet at all. This also applies to posting on Facebook, texting, commenting, etc.
If someone unfriends you, relax, then look up the definition of friend and if someone doesn’t agree with your opinion that doesn’t oblige you to start a war. Viva la difference.
Watch out for those snap judgements, don’t mistake conversation for honest conversation, and know the difference between flirty and creepy (don’t stand so close to me, even on the internet).
I sometimes wonder what the world is going to look like after a few more years ‘high’ on social media?
Electoral candidates are constantly apologizing and dropping out of politics for tweets, texts, pictures (the better question might be why those pictures were taken at all)…even if it was years ago. That reminds me, I should check my Twitter feed.
Social media has given us the freedom to express ourselves, but like anything else, social media brings out the best in some people, the worst in others. Or perhaps this level of wow-super-interesting-but-not-necessarily-in-a-good-way was always there, the internet has just made certain views, er, more available.
Perhaps some people always thought they were:
Being mind-controlled by subterranean lizard people (gee, I hate when that happens).
Celebrities who sometimes seem like subterranean lizard people, just not as cool.
Aliens, androids, and other ‘a’ words.
Traveling through time and space, wait, wasn’t that on Doctor Who (don’t blink and take me with you).
Immortal (I’m sure that worked great, right up until the moment they died).
Fairies, merpeople, wizards, witches, vampires, zombies, werewolves, Donald Trump (sorry, just randomly listing supernatural creatures).
Married to video game characters (hopefully not Sonic the Hedgehog, too, umm, quick).
Obsessed by food and cats and cats with food.
Inventors of things they didn’t invent because in some cases they weren’t even born yet or not that bright.
Being used in secret government experiments (hey, I watched X-Files too).
Look what the internet has done with this latest refugee crisis. I think we’re all migrants. At birth, we move from our mothers. We wander…first to our knees to crawl, then drift to an upright position to walk. We travel, even a few feet to play. We rove to school. We wander into relationships, friendships. We transition to jobs. Sometimes roam the world. Humans are nomadic; we take journeys through stories, books, movies, TV programs, and now, the internet, even if we never leave our home. One way or another, we like to move it, move it, we like to move it, move it…
Just like one way or another we’ve all sought refuge, if only in a book, a song, on the shoulder of a friend, in the arms of lover, in a movie, TV program, a story, a walk, a drive, in sleep, cookies, alcohol, hope, and so much more? When a day has kicked your butt up and down the street, who doesn’t want sanctuary?
We could spend forever judging and bickering over ‘the right thing’, frankly, I admit, I’m not always sure what is the right thing, but clearly, helping in some way can’t be the wrong thing, right?
So, is the internet the last nail in our cultural coffin, or just another way for humans to connect? For me, it’s a great place to make memes…and friends. What about you?