Posted in Autism, Family, Fibromyalgia, Music, Uncategorized, Zombies

Personal Reasons

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Hmm, TV shows and movies about the coming apocalypse, books about dystopian futures, surrounded by people zombified by technology and cynicism…now, the news that two young men dug a tunnel, man cave or survival, who’s knows, apparently it’s legal, for #PersonalReasons, but it got me thinking how well I’d do during the apocalypse. What about you, dear readers?

  • Where would I keep books? Too heavy to carry and no e-reading.

  • I don’t sleep much (Fibromyalgia), so I could do sentry duty, but don’t have mad weapons skills.

  • Not going to wear a crop top.

  • Don’t like smelly things.

  • Doubt my immune system is up to: terrible hygiene, no running water, rotting stuff, and diseases running amok.

  • Zombies might die out quickly, but aliens  – different story. They came through space, I can barely figure out how to do stuff on my computer most days.

  • I have a child with Autism. How’s that going to work with the Apocalypse? Actually, he’s one of the Nerds, so he’ll probably do ok, they’ve been training for this since the first time they touched a video game controller.

  • I really don’t think I’d like the ickiness of all those zombie bits, alien guts, or demon slime on me all the time.  Whole lot of sticky and not many showers.

  • Who would you converse with? Academics would die first, survivalists can be a tad intense, and the Nerds are busy trying to get a high score, I mean, save the world…1apocalypse3

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So before we get too far into this relationship, I need some space, for Personal Reasons. I’m not ready for a long-term relationship with you, you’re the Apocalypse.

No, I don’t want the mix tape you made me, wait, a mixed tape, really, what year did you start planning the end of days?

  • Tainted Love. How appropriate.

  • Every Breath You Take. Really?

  • 99 Problems. You’re #1.

  • Big Girls Don’t Cry. Haha.

  • Against All Odds. My high school graduation song.

  • Survivor. I’m gonna give up…on you.

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  • Careless Whisper. Oh come on.

  • It Ain’t Me Babe. Yes, it is.

  • Everybody Hurts. Thanks to you.

  • Bad Romance. Definitely.

  • How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore? The phones don’t work.

  • Live Like You Were Dying…Ok, just to hurry this break-up along, I’ll take the mix, it’ll be the soundtrack of my dystopian future. Not like I can play it anyway.

apocalypse8 This just isn’t the right time for us, Apocalypse. We can still be friends, as long as you don’t keep trying to kill me. I deserve better.

 

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Author:

Very me

55 thoughts on “Personal Reasons

  1. Donna, how to put a light touch to a heavy topic! Made me chuckle! Loved how you put this together! Well, in all seriousness, I know you’ve put some thought on plan or preparation for the slightest emergency (power outage, blizzard, flood, etc.) Apocalypse is just another step, even though we’re dealing with The Walking Dead! Get out of the city or shelter in place…barricade, food, water, gun, knife, etc. Or team up with someone who has all of that! I’m just one of those left-brained thinkers who goes into the detail, analytical mode on subjects like this. Sorry!!! Christine

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      1. And I’m sure you have a cat lap blanket, they love to curl up and take our body heat, sorry, I meant, give us their kitty body heat, either way, they’re lovely. 🙂

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  2. I’d be constantly vacuuming. I’d run out of vacuum bags. Then I’d turn to lawn mowing. An apocalypse is dirty and everyone will be neglecting their lawn care. Well, not in my area! We might have to endure a hell-filled, death-choking apocalypse and the grass might be all brown, but at least I’ll be able to keep a few lawns looking spiffy and trim. Sure, I’ll die quicker than anyone hunkering underground. But hey, it’s like some kid once said in a Stephen King book, “There are other worlds than this.”

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  3. Oh my gosh – this is so funny especially the bit about your son and the other nerds that have been training for this since the first time they touched a game controller. Couldn’t have laughed any harder – thanks!!

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  4. I figure on sitting out the apocalypse and letting people get back to me when they’ve got civilization worked out again. Really, I think most of the folks who’re looking for an apocalypse would change their minds as soon as they find out about the plumbing and the trash collection, and rediscover the joys of the social contract and all that.

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  5. Hilarious! I’m not a fan of zombie / apocalypse shows myself. Seem so hopeless to me. If you want to see a funny zombie film, though, check out “Shaun of the Dead.”

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      1. I agree, I always think I want to visit there until I think about visiting there. And I live in Canada and we have a lot of similarities in climate. 🙂

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