Posted in Books, motivational, satire

How To Be A Bestselling Author in 3 Days or Less

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

There’s a lot of noise out there about how to write a bestseller.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Why don’t we break it down.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Let’s simplify the process and get you to bestseller status in 3 days or less!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

1. Write a book.

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Use as many words as you think you need.

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Plots are plots (it’s all been done/redone/overdone; characters are key).

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Use a computer…

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typewriter…

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pencil or pen…

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None of it means anything if you don’t use your heart.

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2. Edit.

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Do not try this at home.

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Being your own editor is like trying to cure your own cancer.

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Don’t mistake skill or intent for reality.

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A friend, family member, professional editor, a dog or cat (if the communication is clear) – anyone (and I mean anyone) but you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

3. Get published.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/
Big fancy publisher, self-publishing, blog it in serialized form, print them out and hand them to the masses on a street corner, just get it out there. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/

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4. Do a book tour.

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Sign books, shake hands, meet your fans, hope they don’t want to steal your kidney as a prize.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

5. Become rich and famous.

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Yes, become so rich and famous you’ll forget all the hard work…

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all the anxiety, rejection, doubt, derision.

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Don’t forget not to be a scummy rich and famous person.

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6. If 1-5 don’t happen, no worries.

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No one wants to publish my should-be bestsellers (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/),

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but don’t stop me now (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/)!

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I’m going to keep on writing, reading, researching, submitting, getting rejected, being ignored, and only slightly feeling the stings of all the subtle and not-so-subtle scoffing and mocking.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Repeat again and again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/Why? I have to get it all out of my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/As for would-be authors of a ‘certain age’, don’t despair, many famous authors didn’t kick-start their written legacy until later in life, not always for lack of trying:

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark Twain, Toni Morrison, Anna Sewell, Bram Stoker,

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Alex Haley, Charles Bukowski, Laura Ingalls Wilder, William S. Burroughs, 

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Raymond Chandler, Frank McCourt, Marquis de Sade (don’t be that guy).

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Even J.K. Rowling and Dr. Seuss

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weren’t spring chickens…oh the places you’ll go (er, Hogwarts?).

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My point? 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30…Write, draw, sing, dance, sculpt, design video games, whatever, creativity doesn’t come with an expiry date, a time stamp – as long as you live you can create.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

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Posted in Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Family, Movies, Star Wars, Uncategorized

These Aren’t The Gifts You’re Looking For

1christmas191Twas the week before Christmas
(almost two till my birthday)…

When all through the blogosphere…
not a blogger was stirring…
ok, some are stirring, but mostly cocktails…

Yet posts were still flying out with hopes that readers might give them a shout!

Christmas isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for bloggers, readers and many bloggers are off prepping for the big day, partying, waiting in line for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and of course, searching for perfect gifts.

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Here are some, er, helpful last-minute gift ideas for those hard to buy for folks:

1. O Christmas tree! As a cautionary note, unlike in the movies, apparently it’s ‘frowned upon’, some might even say illegal, to just randomly cut trees down. Who knew?

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2. Draw happy faces on all their socks/nylons so they’ll feel happy as they start each day. Or sneak into their house or room and draw a happy face on their wall, or mirror in red lipstick or paint. Wait, is that creepy? Nah, it’ll be a fun surprise.

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3. Fix something for them: TV, car, fridge, cellphone, alarm system, computer, appliances, sewing machine, etc. Even if none were broken (but might be after), it’s the thought that counts.

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4. Donate to a cause in their name or better yet, start a foundation in their name, I’m sure it won’t affect their taxes…much.

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5. Sing them a song, but only if your voice doesn’t resemble fingernails on a chalkboard, mastodons dying in a tar pit, Bridget Jones singing, or my Mom singing (love you, please don’t sing).

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6. Indie books. Mass-produced can be good, but a steady diet can leave you feeling flat. Best thing about indie, less cookie cutter, same goes for everything. Like indie author/blogger, A.H. Browne who kindly beamed aliens into my email. As they scurried around my brain, I 1christmas177was laughingly sucked into space to cavort (hey, I can cavort with the best of them) through the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere. That sounds familiar, did I spend time there in my youth, next to CBGB, right? Book One of The Otherwhere Chronicles made me reluctant to return to Earth, like when you’re at a party, it’s past time to go home, but you think, just a few minutes more. If you’re feeling brave and in need of some fun, visit Arthur at http://pouringmyartout.com/ – don’t say I didn’t warn you! Any indie authors reading this, please add links in the comment box below where your work can be found (heck, it’s Christmas, anyone add links).

And here’s more indie talent (and keep checking the comments for indie author links):
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/03/sweet-dreams-are-made-of-this/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/09/you-may-say-im-a-dreamer/

7. Taco ties, socks, and hats. Also available in: lasagna, kung pao, pizza, chocolate, wine, beer, hamburger, and curry flavours. Hungry? Bored? Clothes never tasted so good!

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8. Make a sculpture, coat, hat, scarf, or quilt out of your hair and nail clippings – natural, organic, and very, very personal.

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9. Lint kittens and puppies. Easy to keep – no walks, no food, soft and cuddly, and simple to house train. Do not expose to water.

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10. Honesty – they may not appreciate it at first, but it might be the best gift ever, someday.

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So, these aren’t the gifts you’re looking for (except the indie books), in the end, the best gift of all is still…you!

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

All the best in 2016!

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