Posted in Movies

Here’s to the Ones Who Dream

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/Now this is a story about how
My life flipped-turned upside down…
I’ll even tell the story without a crown.
In Ontario, Canada born and raised
On the internet spending too much of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
In a writing/life slump, not cool, fool
I begged and pleaded with myself day after day
Still I packed my mental suitcase and sent me on my way.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/I gave me a kiss and then gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well kick it.”
I pulled up to yet another chapter of my life
And yelled, “Yo world smell ya later.”

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

I understood completely, in La La Land, when Ryan Gosling/Sebastian explains he’s letting life hit him on the head, over and over, until life exhausts itself. How many of us feel beaten down by life, chasing a dream, and sometimes looking at our feet when we dance (physically and metaphorically)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/
In all seriousness, as I watched La La Land  I wanted to dance and I cried as Emma Stone/Mia sang, “Here’s to the ones who dream. Foolish, as they may seem. Here’s to the hearts that ache. Here’s to the mess we make….So bring on the rebels. The ripples from pebbles…” – I can’t help myself, I’m one of those who dream, foolish as it may seem – as the movie ended I wanted to watch it again and again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

But we can’t live our lives in theaters, on our phones, on vacation, online, pretending to be safe. Life can be terrifying; we’re not in control. How can we feel safe when we lose loved ones, when cancer viciously attacks, when money and power trump logic and reason, when affordable housing is scarce, when the ruling class lacks class and common sense, when people worship that ruling class and celebrities, when crime and terrorism are more lucrative that real jobs, when your own brain (cotton-headed ninnymuggin hypothalamus) turns on you…and so on and so on.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

1. Some folks are upset that Disney’s live action version of Beauty and the Beast starring Emma Watson (Harry Potter), Dan Stevens (Downton Abbey https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/20/i-want-a-round-home-or-the-staff-of-downton-abbey/), Emma Thompson (Sense and Sensibility, Nanny McPhee, Harry Potter, Love Actually), Luke Evans (The Hobbit), Josh Gad (Frozen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/23/frozen-in-summer/), Ewan McGregor (Star Wars, Trainspotting, Big Fish https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/24/big-fish/) has an openly gay character, whatever that means, there’s way more stuff with openly heterosexual characters, are gay people upset by that? Whatever.
A) The candlestick, Lumière was on my gaydar, in the original, I mean, he was on fire.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/
B) Who cares/why do people care/it’s about time.
C) Is no one worried about the more disturbing aspects of Belle and The Beast’s relationship, you know, the enslavement, the furry love, etc.?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/
Personally I was more worried the remake of Beauty and The Beast  would be Donald and Melania Trump story. Gross.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

2. Mystified by the real world, I escaped into the fake.
Lovely to see Agatha Raisin join Miss Marple, Jessica Fletcher, Miss Fisher, Nancy Drew, Hannah Swensen and more onscreen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ with hilarious results, ok, murder shouldn’t be funny, but it’s not real, right? On the page M.C. Beaton makes Agatha’s life sassy, silly, and killy , but onscreen Ashley Jensen really brings Agatha to life.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/
Finally saw The Accidental Husband, a kooky romcom starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Colin Firth, Uma Thurman, Isabella Rossellini, and Sam Shepard. Got to be honest, after watching Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan in Season 7 of The Walking Dead, I struggled to see him as a romantic leading man again, I keep expecting him to whip out his, er…Lucille. I got over it.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/
3. I get it, people lie.
House (Hugh Laurie) would tell you “Everybody lies”.
Maybe we all do, in a way.
People have been lying to me all my life:
“I’ll always be here.”
“You’ll use Trigonometry.”
“You can never have too many friends.”
“If the rich make money it will trickle down.”
“Everything will be ok.”
No.
Never.
Yes, you can, have you been in Facebook?
No, it won’t.
Depends what you mean by ok.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

4. When someone begins a sentence:
“Let me be clear…”
“At the end of the day…”
“No offence…”
“Believe me….”
hmmm, that sentence will be about as realistic as Riverdale (teen angst Twin Peaks meets Archie comics complete with Josie and the Pussycats
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/06/10/cant-you-just-pretend-to-be-nice/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/09/i-miss-saturday-morning-cartoons/).
I really do miss Saturday morning cartoons…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

5. Finding Dory reminded me:
A) In this mixed-up world, kindness and compassion are still important
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

B) People with disabilities can be vulnerable, be kind.
C) Disabilities aren’t the end of the world, you can still be happy, it’s just a matter of finding your way.
D) Always remember, home and family are wherever your heart is, really.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

Sorry I’ve been gone so long, I’m trying to jump out of my slump, until then, I’m not the Fresh anything of anything, but here’s to the ones who dream (for St. Patrick’s Day https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/14/go-ahead-make-my-st-patricks-day/ here’s to the ones who dream in green)…it’s never as foolish as it may seem.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/

Posted in Autism, Blogs, Canada, Cats, Doctor Who, Internet, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized

Blog Your Way

1blog47Seeing is believing,
or is it believing is seeing?
Or not seeing is believing?
I’m confused.
There are things we can’t see that we believe in, and things we can’t see we don’t believe in. How do we choose? I can’t see atoms, air, sunshine, germs, Wi-Fi, magic, ghosts, hope, despair, Santa, love, hate, vampires, cancer, pain, mental illness, God, aliens, pain, good, evil, a cat’s purr, microwaves, pollution, carbon monoxide, autism, a baby’s breath…
Should we assume none of these are real?

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I can feel the sunshine on my skin, hear a cat’s purr, use the internet, witness the horror of cancer…Geez, at this point, I’m held together with the duct tape of atoms and hope.
If those things are real without being seen, why not the others?
It’s not the same in blogging, we have to be seen. But how?

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1. You know those little bubbles in carbonated drinks, all fizzy, tickling the nose, and expanding the stomach? That’s blogging. It can be effervescent, pleasing, irritating, confounding, overwhelming, addictive. And while most of us don’t want to expand our stomachs, we do want to expand our readership. If you’re just doing it for yourself, that’s great, but then why do it online, why not in a journal or diary?

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2. Don’t fixate on number of views. Blog as often as you and your readers enjoy. Do it for the fun of it, for money (stupid question, money is a necessary evil), fame, a book deal, movie deal (I just had an image of who might portray me in the movie of my life, Helena Bonham Carter? No, probably Mindy Cohn).

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3. The internet is a giant virtual haystack and yes, in this analogy, you are the needle, I am the needle, more specifically, our blogs are the needles. Shift around the haystack – you can’t expect to just ‘be found’, or find others.
Look for blog parties/linky parties/blog shares…
Jason – https://aopinionatedman.com/
Janice – http://mostlyblogging.com/
Danny – http://dreambigdreamoften.co/
Elena – http://www.livingwithbatman.com/
Vicky – http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/
April – https://diapersandtutus.wordpress.com/
And more.
Read, share, like, comment. And blog engagement groups/boards are rampant on Facebook and Pinterest. Twitter is overflowing with hashtag days (Suzie https://suzie81speaks.com/ gets us trending every Sunday with #SundayBlogSharethe lovely ladies at http://honeyquill.com/ give us #LinkYourLife – there’s also #MondayBlogs #TuesdayShares #wwwblogs #BeWoW #bluskyfriday #ArchiveDay #WeekendBlogShare).
Don’t just attend, participate.

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4. Spread your blogging wings! Search out other bloggers, not just on their blogs, but follow them into the depths of the social media catacombs…
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Where I’m baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The dark hole where I lose hours of my life: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google (seriously, not nearly as fun as it sounds): https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts
Yet another place to bloglove: https://www.bloglovin.com/people/donnaparker10-6312637

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5. Your readers won’t always ‘get’ what you’re blogging about or agree. Some will be disinterested, some downright rude…Keep wandering through the blogging desert (or dessert) and you’ll find the awesome ones, astounding ones, generous ones, hopeful ones, ones that inspire, ignite, and make you overjoyed you ever heard the term, blogging.

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6. Blogging is about being part of something, otherwise you’d just sit alone typing…and we’ve seen the movies – that can either lead to a bestseller…or murder.

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7. Pay no attention to all blogging advice behind the curtain…Blog your way today. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

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As a young child I believed many things, if I watched a movie again the ending might change, or the money I put in the bank would be the exact same money I’d get out…my Mom, who worked at the credit union at the time had the delightful task of teaching me this life lesson when I wanted my ‘lucky’ quarter from my account. Oops.

Now, older, wiser, I may not believe what I used to believe, or have to see to believe; I may not always know what to believe, but I still want to believe. What about you?

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Posted in Books, Family, Fibromyalgia, Movies, Parenting, Uncategorized

Don’t You Forget About Me

1alice18We all forget things.

  • We’ve all forgotten where we put our car or house keys.

  • Who hasn’t walked into a room and forgotten why?

  • Been speaking when the word you want goes missing, you know it’s there, you grope around in your mind, finding other words that might work in it’s place, but the word you wanted is gone.

  • I’m forever putting things ‘where I know they’ll be’ then fairies spirit them away, only to be found later in a totally illogical spot. Those fairies.

Forgetting is normal. Our minds are full. Overfull. We’re stressed or tired.

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What if it isn’t just that?
1alice8What if forgetting is a symptom?
I made the mistake/best choice to watch Still Alice, based on the stunning novel by Lisa Genova about a 50-year-old Linguistics professor who learns she has early onset Alzheimer’s. I hadn’t been quite prepared for the visceral punch of watching a woman close to my age lose her mind and herself.
How can your thoughts, memories, love, dreams, the essence of who you are all be ripped from you, not by some invading army, some natural disaster, but by your own brain?

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How could we lose: Our Dad’s laugh. Mom’s wisdom. Joking with siblings. Husbands. Wives. Friends. The smell of our children as babies. The feel of loved ones in our arms. Our first date, first kiss, first job. Or our best date, best kiss, best job? I can’t even begin to imagine staring at pictures of family and friends and not knowing who they are.
Our knowledge and memories so greedily gathered over the years, erased as though they never happened.
Losing who we are, even before we’re gone.

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In the movie, Alice (played the exquisitely talented Julianne Moore) quotes Elizabeth Bishop’s poem, One Art, sad and famous words,
“The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.”
As a person with Fibromyalgia I’ve long appreciated and hated those words. For those who live with illness every day the art of losing isn’t hard to master, it becomes more of a science. You learn to manage, modify, accommodate, cope, compromise, let things go, adjust, re-adjust and always adjust your expectations – there’s a trick to life, except you’re not always sure it isn’t being played on you.

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At times we all want to forget. Forget pain. Forget sorrow. Forget humiliation. Forget betrayal. Forget loss. The seductive lure of forgetting makes us forget that remembering is a gift, one that should never be wished away.

I won’t recommend this film. Not because it wasn’t wonderful, it was.

I won’t urge you to watch this film. Instead watch the news, so full of ISIS, FIFA, elections that are months or even years away, what celebrities are wearing, eating, doing, it’s all sooooo important, we really should be paying close attention.

Don’t worry about Alzheimer’s, cancer, MS, heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, asthma, and all the other illness that take our loved ones.

Don’t watch this movie, there wasn’t any sex, violence, special effects, car chases, CGI, superheroes. It’s only about change, dignity, character, and highlights that things we too often think matter, you know, little things, petty things, stupid things, don’t matter at all.

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Posted in Movies, Political, Uncategorized

Global Garbage Can

air1

The final phase is here, we’re officially living in a dystopian world.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer has declared outdoor air pollution a carcinogen.

The air we breathe is now officially on the list with:  Arsenic and inorganic arsenic compound, Asbestos and mineral substances that contain asbestos, Diesel engine exhaust, PCBs, Plutonium, shale oils, tobacco and radiation, etc. Lovely.

IARC, the cancer agency of the World Health Organization, after study and consultation has basically said we live in a sci-fi dystopian movie. Not so entertaining when it’s our air.

My first reaction was, this isn’t news, we kinda already knew this, didn’t we?

But these studies, panels, declarations are needed to make governments admit there is a problem and maybe do something about it.

Will it work? I doubt it. Big business runs our governments and they don’t care about who gets sick, who suffers, or who dies as long as they make money. You’re disposable – 7 billion other potential customers.

There are many possible variables to cancer:  genetics, exposure to dangerous substances, lifestyle choices and now, the air we breathe. air4

So while we’re going for an allegedly healthy walk we’re really exposing ourselves and our children to the possibility of lung cancer.

While you’re sitting in traffic, commuting to your job, guess what?

We scream for more oil to make more gas.

Remember years ago when there was an oil storage and governments, etc. used to urge people to conserve gas, to use only as needed, cut back, etc.?

Now our governments spend millions to promote oil so we can drive more.

We build more factories to produce more goods we don’t need.

air5All this so we can suffer and watch loved ones suffer, even die. I really don’t see how it’s worth it.

The rich are destroying us and we’re letting them.

Just think, we’ll watch the Hunger Games movies and the next generations will live them.

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        “The hungry sheep look up, and are not fed,
But swollen with wind and the rank mist they draw,
    Rot inwardly, and foul contagion spread…” ~John Milton (Lycidas)

Posted in Autism, Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

Fibromyalgia is a Four Letter Word

This isn’t a whiny post (at least I’ll try, no promises), or a ‘it can be fixed blog’, or whatever. Just a few thoughts about why people think Fibromyalgia isn’t a real syndrome, that it’s just lazy, unmotivated people and mostly, why I don’t have all the answers.

 

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Let’s begin at the end, I don’t have all the answers because I don’t sleep enough.  Also, I’m not a million years old.  In addition, I’m certainly not a super genius.  Oh, did I mention I don’t sleep enough?

People prefer to think people with disorders such as Fibromyalgia are lazy because they don’t want to accept that you could wake up one morning and have something like that or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Lyme Disease and so on.

Instead of doing the whole there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I thing, many people just decide that people with these illnesses could do better if they just got up and did something, or they just aren’t motivated, or they’re lazy, or they’re not trying.

It’s easier to believe that than believe someone who was full of energy and often an A Type Personality can suddenly be fatigued, full of pain, insomnia, frustrated, sad, have massive struggles to function, and so on.

fhfif4Therefore, Fibro becomes a joke, a stain, a dirty word because otherwise people would have to accept the reality that people get sick.  They get chronic illnesses, they get terminal illnesses, and they live a life of agony and sometimes, they die.

It’s people saying someone with cancer should fight the cancer as though that will fix everything.  I wonder if people ever thought of how that makes people feel when you’ve lost a loved one to cancer?  Oh, so my loved one just didn’t fight hard enough, well, thanks, that makes me feel so much better.

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The same goes for those who’ve lost a loved one to suicide. I’m sure they feel horrible enough without others implying their loved ones gave up, chose to leave, or just didn’t fight hard enough.  Yes, poking a toothpick at a dragon works so well.

I don’t live in someones head so I can’t say if they tried, if they fought, or if they chose, but neither does anyone else so why are so many people qualified to make these judgmental statements?

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Instead of mocking someone with an illness, try having empathy for him or her.  I’m sure there are some pitiable individuals who would prefer to be ill than well, but come on, does anyone seriously believe that’s a majority?  Most people would choose to be well. 

Most people would choose to have a full life, a life free of pain.  Most people would choose to beat cancer. Hell, most people would choose not to get cancer at all.  Most people would choose not to have a mental illness.  If there was a choice involved.

People are finally coming around to the belief that people who lead a homosexual lifestyle didn’t chose to be that way, it’s just the way they are. It has taken a long time and there are still haters out there, but I bet so many people are happy to see a light at the end of that rainbow.

asgoodas5I wonder when that day will come for people with chronic illnesses like Fibromyalgia, or people with mental health issues, or people with Autism, etc.  I wonder if or when people will see them, really see them, for who they really are:  your Mom, your child, your sister, your friend, your co-worker, your Dad, your teacher, your brother, your minister, your neighbour – just people.

Don’t judge people.

Have a little empathy.

Those people might be interesting, or fun, or brilliant, a hope for the future, a good friend, but you’d never know because you made assumptions.

Don’t miss out.