No one ever talked or did stuff like they did in 80’s movies. Ever.
In the future, they’ll probably dig up 80’s movies and come to conclusions like: Ferris Bueller was a god, aliens could phone home from Earth, “wax on, wax off” was a common phrase, and paternity results were only told to your child in space, after you cut off their hand. They’re going to think the 80’s were even more messed up than they were.
And what was with romance in the 80’s? Why sit on a table with a birthday cake and a cute boy? I can think of much better things to do…with that cake. Everyone was dancing – dirty dancing, flashdancing, Kevin Bacon dancing (don’t know what else to call it).
A guy with a boom box and a trench coat outside your house…nowadays, restraining order, or it would go viral, or both.
Officers, gentlemen, risky business, funny business. Adventures, in space or babysitting, as long as they were most excellent, dude. Supernatural, psycho, science, time travel – sometimes all at once. Where’d they get all the gremlins, goonies, vampires, muppets, and aliens? Actually, that all sounds like the soundtrack to my 80’s.
Know what also ruled in the 80’s? Political incorrectness. Who could worry about offending anyone when girls just wanted to have fun and boys wanted girls to have fun, especially with them?
I kind of miss it. Sure, political correctness is good in theory, don’t say unto others what you don’t want said to you, but has the correctness over-corrected? I don’t know if you can change human nature, people just say weird stuff.
“That’s the best kind of cancer to have.” Let’s review that sentence. Nope, still looks weird. The best kind of cancer is no cancer.
“Don’t worry.” Why are they telling me not to worry, is it because they know I should be worried and they don’t want me to panic?
“Do you have a bathroom?” Did you mean to ask if you can use my bathroom, because yes, I have a bathroom, I don’t ‘go’ in the yard.
“Money won’t make you happy.” I think money and I would be very happy together, we’d make the perfect couple (couple of million).
“Time heals all wounds.” Not true. Time doesn’t heal anything, it just passes.
“If you get lost in the woods, don’t panic.” Of course I’m going to panic! I’m lost, in the woods!!! Surrounded by bears, badgers, and bugs, maybe zombies in the dark (when I picture being lost in the woods, it’s always dark), and with my luck, zombie bears, badgers and bugs (note to self, pitch a spin-off to AMC, working title, The Walking Bears, Badgers, and Bugs™ ).
“Everything happens for a reason.” Technically correct, but I’m not sure that’s how people mean it.
“I think therefore I am.” Not true for everyone, have you been on the internet?
“I know you are, but what am I?” This one is actually timeless.