Once upon a time, a woman began a blog; she had no idea what she was doing, but that had never stopped her before. Almost four years passed and she found blogging was just like life, only with fewer calories and even more emails.
1. Life and blogging are about choices. Good? Bad? Who knows, until you make them.
2. If you want chocolate, bacon, butter, donuts, cookies, cake https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/ – go for it, but like in blogging, only so much before the clogging… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/
3. The truth is always out there, whether it comes out or not, you’ll always know it can come out.
4. If you’re going to worry, make it worthwhile. On your deathbed I doubt you’ll be stressing out about if your toes look good in sandals, if you have the biggest house, fanciest car, most jewelry, and who you knew… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/
5. You’re not the only one. Find someone who also thinks they’re the only one – you might help each other.
6. Having a love affair with cake and cookies can be epic, like, movie epic. Then again, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet…Balance in all things.
7. Laundry is evil and like all evil it grows if you ignore it…even to blog.
8. Be selective how you’re giving your time, it’s the one thing you’ll never get back.
9. Let your imagination run away with you sometimes.
10. Be a superhero. You don’t need fancy gadgets like Batman, alien powers like Superman, Amazon (ish?) powers like Wonder Woman. No cool suits like Iron Man, Deadpool, or Spiderman…Nope. You just need to care. Be a friend. Be there. Help someone. In the blogworld, ‘Like’ their post. Share their post. Blogging is strange when you’re a stranger…get out there and show some #bloglove Saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (awesome, but I wasn’t as hooked on the soundtrack as the first one…I am Groot) – it made me want to run out and help the world. Had to rewatch Guardians of the Galaxy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ because, hey, Chris Pratt.
11. There’s enough hard stuff in the world and the blogworld, don’t add to it.
12. The worst crime that I ever did, besides listening to rock’n’roll (paraphrasing The Stranglers, with a giggle), was telling myself I wasn’t good enough; if I didn’t believe it, why the Hell else would anyone else?
13. People always say “quit whining”…why? Sometimes, in the midst of a good whine sometimes comes a flash of insight, a bolt of wisdom, a bombshell of brilliant. Again, moderation.
14. If you’re good at something, learn how to be good at it for others too. Have the Time of Your Life. I watched the TV version of Dirty Dancing…made me miss Patrick Swayze…and Jennifer Grey’s nose. Nobody puts bloggers in a corner! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/05/ive-had-the-time-of-my-life/
15. Life goes around and around. Watching Twin Peaks: The Return – just as weird, but sadly, less playful https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/02/never-tear-us-apart/ – I’m reminded, you always look back through different eyes. My blog has something to tell you – when you get there, you’ll already be there.
16. You can lead a good life without TV, you can also lead a good life with TV – life doesn’t have to be back and white (TV taught me that).
17. Despite what you may have heard, ‘Grease’ is not the word, but neither are: ‘low-rise’, ‘low-carb’, ‘SEO’, ‘dirt jeans’, ‘alternative facts’, ‘influencer’…
18. Don’t be a wrecking ball (also don’t swing on one naked, you don’t want to become a meme, right Miley Cyrus? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/27/blurred-miley-lines/ ). Try to leave things as good or better than you found them.
19. Watched Girlboss on Netflix, different, in a good way. Britt Robertson (Under The Dome, Life Unexpected, A Dog’s Purpose, etc.), plays charmingly frenetic Sophia. Produced by Charlize Theron https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/06/06/1-2-a-million-ways-to-die-in-the-west/ – based on an autobiography of Sophia Amoruso, an American businesswoman, who at 23 started an eBay store, Nasty Girl Vintage, which became multi-million dollar Nasty Girl. Also, Dean Norris (Breaking Bad https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/09/25/faux-ode-to-breaking-bad/ Under The Dome, X-Files https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/20/the-truth-is-still-out-there/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/15/5-ways-im-not-under-pressure/ 24, Grey’s Anatomy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/19/greys-anatomy/ The Big Bang Theory – everything, does this man sleep?), Norm McDonald (SNL)… Reminded me of an important life/blog lesson, a lot of things can go wrong before, during, and after they go right. I loved how the two friends always said, “Love you, in case I die” to each other, negating that terrible thought, the regret, that if you lost someone they might not know you love them.
20. Gratitude is often misunderstood, you can be poor, sick, longing, grieving, hurting, waiting, low blog stats, and still be grateful. Be grateful. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/17/10-ways-to-be-grateful-even-on-bad-days/
I probably won’t be blogging much this summer, so Happy Birthday Canada https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/01/happy-canada-day-eh/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/ and America https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/04/happy-4th-of-july/
I’ll be here and there, dear readers…and love you, in case I die.
Seeing is believing,
or is it believing is seeing?
Or not seeing is believing?
There are things we can’t see that we believe in, and things we can’t see we don’t believe in. How do we choose? I can’t see atoms, air, sunshine, germs, Wi-Fi, magic, ghosts, hope, despair, Santa, love, hate, vampires, cancer, pain, mental illness, God, aliens, pain, good, evil, a cat’s purr, microwaves, pollution, carbon monoxide, autism, a baby’s breath…
Should we assume none of these are real?
I can feel the sunshine on my skin, hear a cat’s purr, use the internet, witness the horror of cancer…Geez, at this point, I’m held together with the duct tape of atoms and hope.
If those things are real without being seen, why not the others?
It’s not the same in blogging, we have to be seen. But how?
1. You know those little bubbles in carbonated drinks, all fizzy, tickling the nose, and expanding the stomach? That’s blogging. It can be effervescent, pleasing, irritating, confounding, overwhelming, addictive. And while most of us don’t want to expand our stomachs, we do want to expand our readership. If you’re just doing it for yourself, that’s great, but then why do it online, why not in a journal or diary?
2. Don’t fixate on number of views. Blog as often as you and your readers enjoy. Do it for the fun of it, for money (stupid question, money is a necessary evil), fame, a book deal, movie deal (I just had an image of who might portray me in the movie of my life, Helena Bonham Carter? No, probably Mindy Cohn).
3. The internet is a giant virtual haystack and yes, in this analogy, you are the needle, I am the needle, more specifically, our blogs are the needles. Shift around the haystack – you can’t expect to just ‘be found’, or find others.
Look for blog parties/linky parties/blog shares…
Jason – https://aopinionatedman.com/
Janice – http://mostlyblogging.com/
Danny – http://dreambigdreamoften.co/
Elena – http://www.livingwithbatman.com/
Vicky – http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/
April – https://diapersandtutus.wordpress.com/
Read, share, like, comment. And blog engagement groups/boards are rampant on Facebook and Pinterest. Twitter is overflowing with hashtag days (Suzie https://suzie81speaks.com/ gets us trending every Sunday with #SundayBlogShare – the lovely ladies at http://honeyquill.com/ give us #LinkYourLife – there’s also #MondayBlogs #TuesdayShares #wwwblogs #BeWoW #bluskyfriday #ArchiveDay #WeekendBlogShare).
Don’t just attend, participate.
4. Spread your blogging wings! Search out other bloggers, not just on their blogs, but follow them into the depths of the social media catacombs…
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Where I’m baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The dark hole where I lose hours of my life: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google (seriously, not nearly as fun as it sounds): https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts
Yet another place to bloglove: https://www.bloglovin.com/people/donnaparker10-6312637
5. Your readers won’t always ‘get’ what you’re blogging about or agree. Some will be disinterested, some downright rude…Keep wandering through the blogging desert (or dessert) and you’ll find the awesome ones, astounding ones, generous ones, hopeful ones, ones that inspire, ignite, and make you overjoyed you ever heard the term, blogging.
6. Blogging is about being part of something, otherwise you’d just sit alone typing…and we’ve seen the movies – that can either lead to a bestseller…or murder.
7. Pay no attention to all blogging advice behind the curtain…Blog your way today. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/
As a young child I believed many things, if I watched a movie again the ending might change, or the money I put in the bank would be the exact same money I’d get out…my Mom, who worked at the credit union at the time had the delightful task of teaching me this life lesson when I wanted my ‘lucky’ quarter from my account. Oops.
Now, older, wiser, I may not believe what I used to believe, or have to see to believe; I may not always know what to believe, but I still want to believe. What about you?
As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).
I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.
1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.
2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.
3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?
4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.
5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.
6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.
7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?
8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.
9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.
10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.
Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).
Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.
If I said anything wonky during my blog party https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.
Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?
Be brave. Be bold.
Choose love…and naps…and cake
(not necessarily in that order).
Life is full of good things and bad things.
Sometimes good things go bad.
Sometimes bad things go good.
Sometimes a bit of both.
The good stuff doesn’t always make the bad stuff easier to take, but the bad stuff doesn’t always ruin the good stuff either.
We should try to be grateful for the good stuff, especially when there’s bad stuff.
We Could Be Grateful For:
1. Family and friends. The memory of family and friends. The possibility of family and friends.
2. Knowledge, free will, and finding respectful ways to agree to disagree.
3. Enjoying what you have, instead of always thinking about what you want.
4. Remembering both the good times and the bad – and not living in either.
5. Enjoying the everyday things. Life isn’t about the big moments.