Tag: Love

Posted in Canada, Chocolate, Fibromyalgia, motivational

Seems Breakin’ Up Was Easier in the ’90s

Posted on by D. Parker

It looks like you’re gettin’ over me,

faster than I’m gettin’ over you.

But hey, what you gonna do?

I’m sick of sittin’ in my brain,

sighin’ at my phone. 📱

Wishin’ I was somewhere I can’t be alone.

Try to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of makin’ excuses about how I wanna be.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me.

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Back then, I could’ve convinced myself

it was you and not me,

though I said it the other way round;

love lost and found.

Could have made myself believe,

I loved you, just wasn’t in love with you 💌

(realistically, it’s you and me?).

Just the thought of it makes me blue…

Didn’t know then I couldn’t have

the bandwidth to deal with life

stress keeps cuttin’ at me

with an jagged online knife 🔪

Tryin’ to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of seein’ pictures in my brain, 🧠

I don’t wanna see.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me…

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Modern love leads to modern hearts breakin’ 💔

Leads to a whole lot of social media fakin‘.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me…

Seems breakin’ up with myself with easier in the ’90s!

Thanks to Sam Hunt for the inspiration.

I’ve broken up with myself before, at least once or twice a decade, but it seems to get harder every decade. My most memorable break-ups were in the ’90s. It all seemed like a good idea then. 💡 No awkward, “It’s not you, it’s you” conversations. I was young and thought being in love with myself was more important that just loving myself, taking care of myself.

Every time I try to make it work, but we’ve grown apart. The relationship just isn’t working for me…and me. This time I find myself feeling resentment. I resent myself for getting in my way.

Maybe it was age. My stage in my journey. Or maybe it’s those darn rosy nostalgia goggles 🥽 and it just seems breakin’ up with easier in the ‘90s. Either way, I think it’s time to take our relationship to a previous level…

Sometimes you gotta stop reflecting (I’m turning into a mirror here 🪞) and take the BS by the horns; I’m doing a year of chronic change...

Step 1: Move. Done, but not terribly settled, though I’m cutting myself some slack on my (lack of) progress. I;ve been vividly reminded that Fibromyalgia is a thief. It steals your energy. -Pilfers your time. -Loots your stability. -Filches your confidence. -Snatches your pride. -Purloins your social life. -Robs you of your hopes and dreams. -Breaks and enters your life, tossing the place and adding chaos, fear, loss, and uncertainty to every moment of your day and night. Living with chronic conditions means you have to change your expectations, accommodate, modify, and most of all, adapt. I’m trying to be kind to myself.

And remind myself of all the good/great/amazing things I have as well. My family, friends, my blog/readers/fellow bloggers/authors https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/, the ‘group’ I founded(?), “Chronic Not Hopeless” (all our Zoom activities are free, all are welcome, contact: chronicnothopeless@yahoo.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/)…

Also, my happy places (on the page, in a screen, swimming in chocolate 🍫, chatting, laughing, in a cup of tea (or three). 🫖

Where else?

Happy on a gameboard or in the cards, among the trees 🌳, under the stars… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

And of course, the hopes and dreams the chronic suckage https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/12/06/chronic-suckage/ hasn’t yet managed to rudely steal – writing a novel, learning to podcast, code, organizing (sorry, staying organized – oh I can organize, I can organize till the cows come home, it’s keeping the organization, that’s the kicker), getting better and so much more…        

Step 2: Break up with myself. I’ll start slow with the simple but elegant, “I just need some space”. Then add the tried and true, “It’s for the best” and of course, “You and I should stay friends”. 🤝

Follow up with the classic, “We’re both looking for different things” and “I’ve figured out, we’ll cover more ground if we split up”.

If tears flow, I’ll pivot to the gentler, “We’re at different stages in our lives” and pop in, “I really need to work on myself right now”.

If I want to add some levity to the tense break-up situation, I can toss in a cheeky, “Our relationship is like my financial status: broke” 💸; or “I feel like I’m moving into a tunnel cause we’re breaking up” 📵; and/or “They say one person’s trash is another one’s treasure, I hope you find a pirate to love you”. 🏴‍☠️

Still not there yet?

Who can go wrong with a classic Star Wars break-up line? “I think I should change my name to Han cause I need to do this Solo”.

End strong with, “You are going to make someone really happy someday”. The important thing is, be honest with myself, don’t sugar-coat it or ghost myself. 👻

Step 3: Rocky Road, Vodka Sangria, box of tissues, fluffy slippers, and emo movies…with “Say Something” playing softly in the background. Check. ✔️

Step 4: Write a blog post about it during my blog anniversary month – yes, I started emptying my brain into this blog in 2013!!! Wow! Thank you for joining me in the saga of my life! 🤗🤗🤗

Step 5: Write monthly update blog posts for the next year about my chronic change trip and other stuff that jumps into my brain. 🧠

Roses are red, 🥀

Violets are blue

You are dumped…

And so are you.

 

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media

Head Over Heels

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/I wanted to be  with you alone
(on the internet?).
And talk about the weather
(What is the deal with the weather?
Pick a season, stay with it til the next one).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/
But traditions can’t be traced
(or can they, again, the internet).
We get tricked when
we only stick with our base.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/Nothing keeps our attention…
We’re lost in admiration,
could we need it this much?Oh, is it wasting time?
Just, just, just wasting time.
Something happens and
we’re head over heels.
We never find out till
we’re head over heels…

  • We ‘humans’ fall head over heels quickly, with: people, pets, passions, movies, books, songs (I’m still on a Tears For Fears kick although The Cars too, goodbye Ric Ocasek, you were just what we needed), politicians, celebrities, television shows, smartphones and other electronic gadgets and gizmos, cars, causes, friends, fads, flights of fancy…oops1

And when we fall out of love, look out, love can quickly turn to hate (and shouldn’t continue to date, not great).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/                                                                   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/29/next-time-you-bring-the-cookies/                              https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/

and migraines (latest treatment, painful and tiring, but seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the very long, very dark tunnel, oooh, hope it’s not just another train);and writing (trying) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/.

I still love my readers, other bloggers, but sometimes I wish I knew how to quit you (or me, or WordPress, or the internet).

  • I’ve fallen hard for another Australian series (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ or is that just gravity talking?), this time, “The Heart Guy” aka “Doctor Doctor”. A brilliant bad boy cardiac surgeon gets sent home, as a punishment, to practice medicine in his hometown, Whyhope. Naturally, things get complicated fast. Rodger Corser (In “Glitch” as well, S3 is about to crawl out of the ground soon) may play the lead, Dr. Hugh Knight but his cast-mates are bright shining lights cutting into any and all plans. Why hope? Why not? Another season has been approved and I’m cheering. Yahoo! For Canadians this dramedy reminds me a bit of “Corner Gas” with more actual drama and for the U.S., like “Seinfeld” but with less New York snark and more Down Under snark.

  • Bewitched by de-cluttering and minimalizing (is that even a word, seriously, it should be…) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/

  • I’ve got one of cupids arrows stuck deep in my heart (could explain chest pains, besides the Tietze Syndrome) for writing and reading then writing some more. Will I ever be an author, a real live published author, as many of my talented fellow bloggers are, as so many writers are, who knows, but it’s fun slow blogging and writing the world’s best novels…in my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/23/if-i-could-save-time-in-a-blog-bottle/

  • Captivated with “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Thank you to the parents of Margaret Atwood and Elisabeth Moss for giving us such gifts. It’s funny to think I first read this book almost 35 years ago, when I naively thought it was fiction and thank goodness this could never happen. Note to self, never say never. If you haven’t started reading one of Canada’s most precious natural resources, Margaret Atwood, I suggest you love yourself enough to begin your journey. I’ll continue with her latest, “The Testaments”, filled with hints of things to come. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/

  • Infatuated with the idea that all the mysteries of Area 51 could be revealed to the world on September 20, 2019 #theycantstopusall #stormarea51The Truth is Out There or more likely, anything interesting has already been moved to, er, Area 51-A or Area 52? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

love36

kittens, kindness, ice cream, cozy sweaters, Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/the-more-the-scarier/

Thanksgiving
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ ,

smiles (smile cookies), cake, curry, kindness, pumpkin spice, chocolate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/30/you-live-you-die-in-between-theres-chocolate/ ,

sunsets, puppies, pizza (note the coma, grammar saves lives, in this case, adorable puppy lives), Downton Abbey, The Addams Family, ancestry, kindness, songs https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ , friends, a new love (who doesn’t have to but if he looked like Negan, Starlord or Daryl Dixon that would be cool, just as completely random examples), muffins, laughter, strawberries, donuts, chocolate, chocolate donuts, kindness, cupcakes, family, and oh yeah, to write another chapter in my own story.Why suffer from FOMO, you’ll never miss out if you embrace the glorious chaos of life (every day above ground is another chance) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

  • Beguiled by apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian anything (“anything” may be hyperbole, but that’s how things work now, right, facts begone, trouble us no more with your truthiness!),

“The Walking Dead” S10 is soon-ish https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-will-rule/            https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-wont-rule/        https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/21/zombies-on-sesame-street/

I’m caught up on “The 100” (“May we meet again”); I miss “Colony”, “Helix”, “Falling Skies”, “Z Nation”, “Extant”, “Ascension”, “Revolution”, “V”, “iZombie”…but mostly I miss when watching/reading about this stuff was wildly fictional. But I guess, like horror, it’s a safe way to examine our fears without admitting they’re coming true. This is how we live now.

  • Enraptured by the final season of “Game of Thrones” (finally caught up with a free preview month). As a fan, little disappointed, as a writer, loved it, so I’m going with the latter.

                             https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/07/you-know-youre-obsessed-with-game-of-thrones-when/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/03/very-me/

maybe we’ll magically return to the 80s, which we have glamourized to the point of insanity (‘stranger things’ have happened, but keeping remembering neon and big hair) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/As long as you keep falling head over heels with life (just avoid the drama pitfalls https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/ ), your story is bound to be a bestseller https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

  • What are you head over heels about, dear readers, tell me, tell me, cause I need more to love (my heart and mind are like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside).

  • Ways to contact me (on my home planet)

    darcyyada@gmail.com

time14

  • Please send me stuff to review…Despite the Ads Ruining My Posts, I’m Not Getting Paid A Cent by WordPress…I gratefully accept promotional materials, but respectfully reserve the right to decide whether said promotional material is suitable for my blog. 100% honest reviews and the opinions, thoughts, and beliefs will be my own, not that of the provider, party, or manufacturer.

  • Donations to help save the endangered broke and obscure bloggers who once roamed the internet free are appreciated…it’s Paypal, for anyone including, but not limited to eccentric millionaires who want to adopt a blogger.

  • P.S.  WordPress is greedily inserting ads into posts and holding our blogs hostage if we don’t pay the ransom to remove the malware (aka ads), I don’t get a single dime from them…

  • Follow me here, but in a completely non-stalkery way please: https://yadadarcyyada.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/

And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding? 

– Elvis Costello

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media, Uncategorized

People Forget #Kindness Is Free

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Bees’ll buzz and I’ll afford their organic honey cuz…I’ll be doing whatever rich and famous folks do…Sportin’ a healthy bank account, not blown away by emergencies. Da da… Da doo…A bah bah ba baba boo!
Attention and money are both so intense
Put ’em together, it never, ever makes sense!
Rat dadat dadat dadat dadadadadoo
Anonymity’s the best time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in ‘attention’ and I’ll be a happily overexposed attention wh…oh, umm, writer/blogger! So when life gets rough, I persist by frantically grabbing my dreams of not just wallowing in obscurity…Oh the sky will be blue and you guys’ll be there too!!! When I ever do what obscure folks do with attention!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Choose love, hope, peace, kindness (people often forget it’s free), laughter, compassion, family, friends, helping others when you can…naps https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/01/theres-a-nap-for-that/ and cake (not necessarily in that order).

In a world seemingly ruled by attention, how do you keep up (and why)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

 1. Be interesting.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

2. Interesting not enough? Try shocking.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/04/10/shock-and-awww/

3. Shocking still not getting enough clicks, likes, and shares in this attention economy? Try no-no-Notorious (sorry, Duran Duran apparently still holds some mysterious thrall over me).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

4. Are you feeling like you should keep a single thought, event, or moment private? This is your dignity and self-respect rearing its ugly common sense head, don’t self-sabotage! Tell all! Show all! Don’t let fear of failure stop you from succeeding in your attention-seeking goals.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

5. Toss aside burdensome personal and professional relationships – more will come along and if not, you still had your brief, precious moment in the spotlight.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

6. Be committed! This isn’t a diet, gym membership, Netflix browsing (what day is it?), friendship, job, or relationship – this is serious! Getting attention isn’t for the faint of heart. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

7. Stop looking for the meaning of life, you found it: getting attention.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

8. Helping people is nice, but what if you can get attention while doing it? Fire, flood, famine, family, friends, fawning, fatuous, fake fads – all the new attention-grabbing fabulous!https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

9. Your life is for sale, stick a sign on you that says ‘Sold’.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

10. Over 4 years ago when I started blogging I wasn’t thinking about the attention, or was I?
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

So I’m going to take my own advice, There’s No Crying in Blogging (there is whining thought, right?) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

People think they want attention and/or fame, money, etc., but maybe what they really want is connection.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’m going to stop over-thinking, getting in my own way, getting frustrated (good luck, especially with WordPress around), and enjoy the moment.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

I’ll try not to think about awful people, instead I’ll think of the awesome people I’ve virtually met (and adore!). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Also, blogging is cheaper than therapy.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Slow blogging (Thanks Fibromyalgia!!! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/) isn’t getting me many clicks and likes, but I’m ok with obscurity and I give thanks for what I have https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

And I can still dream…and can still afford chocolate, for now https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/22/who-moved-my-chocolate/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/11/17/people-forget-kindness-is-free-2/

Posted in Blogs, Uncategorized

Nobody Puts Bloggers in a Corner

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/Once upon a time, a woman began a blog; she had no idea what she was doing, but that had never stopped her before. Almost four years passed and she found blogging was just like life, only with fewer calories and even more emails.

1. Life and blogging are about choices. Good? Bad? Who knows, until you make them.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

2. If you want chocolate, bacon, butter, donuts, cookies, cake https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/ – go for it, but like in blogging, only so much before the clogging… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

3. The truth is always out there, whether it comes out or not, you’ll always know it can come out.

4. If you’re going to worry, make it worthwhile. On your deathbed I doubt you’ll be stressing out about if your toes look good in sandals, if you have the biggest house, fanciest car, most jewelry, and who you knew… https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

5. You’re not the only one. Find someone who also thinks they’re the only one – you might help each other.

6. Having a love affair with cake and cookies can be epic, like, movie epic. Then again, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet…Balance in all things.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

7. Laundry is evil and like all evil it grows if you ignore it…even to blog.

love47

8. Be selective how you’re giving your time, it’s the one thing you’ll never get back.

9. Let your imagination run away with you sometimes.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

 10. Be a superhero. You don’t need fancy gadgets like Batman, alien powers like Superman, Amazon (ish?) powers like Wonder Woman. No cool suits like Iron Man, Deadpool, or Spiderman…Nope. You just need to care. Be a friend. Be there. Help someone. In the blogworld, ‘Like’ their post. Share their post. Blogging is strange when you’re a stranger…get out there and show some #bloglove https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/Saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (awesome, but I wasn’t as hooked on the soundtrack as the first one…I am Groot) – it made me want to run out and help the world. Had to rewatch Guardians of the Galaxy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ because, hey, Chris Pratt.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

11. There’s enough hard stuff in the world and the blogworld, don’t add to it.

12. The worst crime that I ever did, besides listening to rock’n’roll (paraphrasing The Stranglers, with a giggle), was telling myself I wasn’t good enough; if I didn’t believe it, why the Hell else would anyone else?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

13. People always say “quit whining”…why? Sometimes, in the midst of a good whine sometimes comes a flash of insight, a bolt of wisdom, a bombshell of brilliant. Again, moderation.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

14. If you’re good at something, learn how to be good at it for others too. Have the Time of Your Life. I watched the TV version of Dirty Dancing…made me miss Patrick Swayze…and Jennifer Grey’s nose. Nobody puts bloggers in a corner! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/05/ive-had-the-time-of-my-life/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

15. Life goes around and around. Watching Twin Peaks: The Return – just as weird, but sadly, less playful https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/02/never-tear-us-apart/ –  I’m reminded, you always look back through different eyes. My blog has something to tell you – when you get there, you’ll already be there.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

16. You can lead a good life without TV, you can also lead a good life with TV – life doesn’t have to be back and white (TV taught me that).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

17. Despite what you may have heard, ‘Grease’ is not the word, but neither are: ‘low-rise’, ‘low-carb’, ‘SEO’, ‘dirt jeans’, ‘alternative facts’, ‘influencer’…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

18. Don’t be a wrecking ball (also don’t swing on one naked, you don’t want to become a meme, right Miley Cyrus? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/27/blurred-miley-lines/ ). Try to leave things as good or better than you found them.

19. Watched Girlboss on Netflix, different, in a good way. Britt Robertson (Under The Dome, Life Unexpected, A Dog’s Purpose, etc.), plays charmingly frenetic Sophia. Produced by Charlize Theron https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/06/06/1-2-a-million-ways-to-die-in-the-west/  – based on an autobiography of Sophia Amoruso, an American businesswoman, who at 23 started an eBay store, Nasty Girl Vintage, which became multi-million dollar Nasty Girl. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/Also, Dean Norris (Breaking Bad https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/09/25/faux-ode-to-breaking-bad/ Under The Dome, X-Files https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/20/the-truth-is-still-out-there/  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/15/5-ways-im-not-under-pressure/ 24, Grey’s Anatomy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/19/greys-anatomy/ The Big Bang Theory – everything, does this man sleep?), Norm McDonald (SNL)… Reminded me of an important life/blog lesson, a lot of things can go wrong before, during, and after they go right. I loved how the two friends always said, “Love you, in case I die” to each other, negating that terrible thought, the regret, that if you lost someone they might not know you love them.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

20. Gratitude is often misunderstood, you can be poor, sick, longing, grieving, hurting, waiting, low blog stats, and still be grateful. Be grateful.  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/17/10-ways-to-be-grateful-even-on-bad-days/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

I probably won’t be blogging much this summer, so Happy Birthday Canada https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/01/happy-canada-day-eh/    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/ and America https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/04/happy-4th-of-july/

I’ll be here and there, dear readers…and love you, in case I die.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/06/02/nobody-puts-bloggers-in-a-corner/

Posted in Autism, Blogs, Canada, Cats, Doctor Who, Internet, Movies, Music, Star Wars, Televison, Uncategorized

Blog Your Way

Posted on by D. Parker

1blog47Seeing is believing,
or is it believing is seeing?
Or not seeing is believing?
I’m confused.
There are things we can’t see that we believe in, and things we can’t see we don’t believe in. How do we choose? I can’t see atoms, air, sunshine, germs, Wi-Fi, magic, ghosts, hope, despair, Santa, love, hate, vampires, cancer, pain, mental illness, God, aliens, pain, good, evil, a cat’s purr, microwaves, pollution, carbon monoxide, autism, a baby’s breath…
Should we assume none of these are real?

1blogs42
I can feel the sunshine on my skin, hear a cat’s purr, use the internet, witness the horror of cancer…Geez, at this point, I’m held together with the duct tape of atoms and hope.
If those things are real without being seen, why not the others?
It’s not the same in blogging, we have to be seen. But how?

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1. You know those little bubbles in carbonated drinks, all fizzy, tickling the nose, and expanding the stomach? That’s blogging. It can be effervescent, pleasing, irritating, confounding, overwhelming, addictive. And while most of us don’t want to expand our stomachs, we do want to expand our readership. If you’re just doing it for yourself, that’s great, but then why do it online, why not in a journal or diary?

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2. Don’t fixate on number of views. Blog as often as you and your readers enjoy. Do it for the fun of it, for money (stupid question, money is a necessary evil), fame, a book deal, movie deal (I just had an image of who might portray me in the movie of my life, Helena Bonham Carter? No, probably Mindy Cohn).

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3. The internet is a giant virtual haystack and yes, in this analogy, you are the needle, I am the needle, more specifically, our blogs are the needles. Shift around the haystack – you can’t expect to just ‘be found’, or find others.
Look for blog parties/linky parties/blog shares…
Jason – https://aopinionatedman.com/
Janice – http://mostlyblogging.com/
Danny – http://dreambigdreamoften.co/
Elena – http://www.livingwithbatman.com/
Vicky – http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/
April – https://diapersandtutus.wordpress.com/
And more.
Read, share, like, comment. And blog engagement groups/boards are rampant on Facebook and Pinterest. Twitter is overflowing with hashtag days (Suzie https://suzie81speaks.com/ gets us trending every Sunday with #SundayBlogShare – the lovely ladies at http://honeyquill.com/ give us #LinkYourLife – there’s also #MondayBlogs #TuesdayShares #wwwblogs #BeWoW #bluskyfriday #ArchiveDay #WeekendBlogShare).
Don’t just attend, participate.

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4. Spread your blogging wings! Search out other bloggers, not just on their blogs, but follow them into the depths of the social media catacombs…
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Where I’m baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The dark hole where I lose hours of my life: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google (seriously, not nearly as fun as it sounds): https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts
Yet another place to bloglove: https://www.bloglovin.com/people/donnaparker10-6312637

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5. Your readers won’t always ‘get’ what you’re blogging about or agree. Some will be disinterested, some downright rude…Keep wandering through the blogging desert (or dessert) and you’ll find the awesome ones, astounding ones, generous ones, hopeful ones, ones that inspire, ignite, and make you overjoyed you ever heard the term, blogging.

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6. Blogging is about being part of something, otherwise you’d just sit alone typing…and we’ve seen the movies – that can either lead to a bestseller…or murder.

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7. Pay no attention to all blogging advice behind the curtain…Blog your way today. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

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As a young child I believed many things, if I watched a movie again the ending might change, or the money I put in the bank would be the exact same money I’d get out…my Mom, who worked at the credit union at the time had the delightful task of teaching me this life lesson when I wanted my ‘lucky’ quarter from my account. Oops.

Now, older, wiser, I may not believe what I used to believe, or have to see to believe; I may not always know what to believe, but I still want to believe. What about you?

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Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Movies, Music, Uncategorized

There’s A Nap For That

Posted on by D. Parker

1hate8As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).

I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.

1xfiles33

1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.

2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.

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3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?

4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.

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5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.

6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.

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7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?

8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.

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9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.

10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.

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Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).

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Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant  fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.

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If I said anything wonky during my blog party  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free  – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.

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Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?

Be brave. Be bold.
Choose love…and naps…and cake
(not necessarily in that order).

1funny589

Posted in Canada, Family, Food, Movies, Music, Political, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

10 Ways To Be Grateful Even On Bad Days

Posted on by D. Parker

1grateful1Life is full of good things and bad things.

Sometimes good things go bad.

Sometimes bad things go good.

Sometimes a bit of both.

The good stuff doesn’t always make the bad stuff easier to take, but the bad stuff doesn’t always ruin the good stuff either.

We should try to be grateful for the good stuff, especially when there’s bad stuff.

We Could Be Grateful For:

1. Family and friends. The memory of family and friends. The possibility of family and friends.

2. Knowledge, free will, and finding respectful ways to agree to disagree.

3. Enjoying what you have, instead of always thinking about what you want.

4. Remembering both the good times and the bad – and not living in either.

5. Enjoying the everyday things. Life isn’t about the big moments.

1yadadarcyyada8

6. Finding happiness, peace, or contentment, especially by making others happy, peace-filled, or contented.

7. Life and knowing that most people know it’s worth.

8. Being you. Don’t compare yourself to others.

9. Bad times, so you can appreciate the good times.

10. Giving – stuff, time, comfort, inspiration, hope, information…you.

1yadadarcyyada5

Terror, in many forms has wormed it’s way into our lives, not just with violence, but with weapons such as: fear, rudeness, abuse, inequality, neglect, distractions, complacency, disrespect, self-righteousness, ignorance, intolerance, lying, scandal, gossip, corruption, manipulation, dogma, bullying, blame, and all those ‘gotcha’ moments.

We can change. Some will say we can’t, or worse, that’s just the way it is. Expect change. Be that change.

1yadadarcyyada12

People can disagree, debate, wrangle, bicker, even argue, hopefully respectfully.
There’s also no need to agree, you have the right to disagree, again, respectfully.
Attacking anyone, verbally or physically, for their beliefs is pointless.
We can’t overcome hate with hate.
We can’t win by fighting.

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Even if you feel hate, choose love or at least, forgiveness.

Even if you feel indifference, choose compassion.

Especially if you feel despair, choose hope.

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I worry being ‘shocked’ every time something terrible happens, posting platitudes, changing profile pictures, holding vigils, leaving tokens, decrying the monsters, and placing blame gives the illusion of doing something when really, it’s mostly shopping, social media, socializing, and symbolism.

Wouldn’t it be more comforting to help those in need? To donate food, clothing, money for shelter and medical care instead of making piles of flowers, candles, stuffed animals, and flags that will just become garbage? I don’t understand, if we want to show respect why not help those who are still alive and suffering?

We need to find out how to change what’s happening, or brace ourselves for more of the same, or worse. The first rule of holes, when you’re in one, stop digging, and try to find a way out.

What’s coming will come, so instead of focusing on those who do harm, who spread fear and hate, let’s be grateful for those who help, who protect – those who do good in this world. They deserve our focus, not just after a tragedy, or crisis, or disaster, but all the time.

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My heart goes out to the family and friends of those who have lost loved ones, death is tragic, no matter the circumstances…and to anyone suffering, everywhere.

Posted in Canada, Family, Holidays, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

How To Be Good To One Another

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny612One life but we’re not the same we get to carry each other,
carry each other.
One…One…One…
~U2

How to be good to one another. We could start by spending less time arguing about: who’s right, who’s wrong, who’s what, who’s to blame.

The internet exploded last week, with rainbows, due to the U.S. Supreme Court same-sex marriage decision.
Online profile pictures went rainbow. #LoveWins trended worldwide.
June is Gay Pride Month so this added to the parties, parades, pride.
I’m pretty sure if you checked, your poo might be rainbow too.

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It’s a great step for equality, I only hope hype and hyperbole don’t bog down the message that it’s not so much about this issue, but about fighting for rights, not just new ones, but the ones we already enjoy.

It’s been 10 years of marriage equality in Canada (Happy Belated Birthday Canada! You don’t look a day over 147), joined by 17 other countries: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Denmark, France, Iceland, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Uruguay, Sweden, the United Kingdom, and now The United States of America. Come on, why aren’t there more? Who cares who you love, as long as you love?

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Sadly, on the same day of this ruling, there were also:
terrorist attacks, natural disasters, murders, child abuse, rapes, corruption, and more.
This decision doesn’t stop bigotry, hatred, racism, or human rights abuses.
It doesn’t feed the world’s hungry, or stop conflicts,
but it does add some equality (can’t have enough of that),
it makes people happy (especially wedding planners and lawyers),
and it shows that justice is still out there, we just have to expand its reach.

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I’m always amazed at how so many people have the time or energy for:
hate, prejudice, racism, hypocrisy, manipulation, machinations, lying, stealing, playing the ‘gotcha’ game, cheating, and judging – especially for people or groups of people they don’t even know.
That must be draining, or maybe invigorating? I can understand, everyone has felt or done that stuff at one time or another, but holding onto that just seems weird and in the end, you must hate yourself the most.

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Week 5 of my year-long try-to-find-happiness challenge is on.
Here are the first 4 weeks if you want to catch up or need a refresher.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/25/in-my-life-i-loved-them-all/

Week 5 (approximately 10% done!):

1. Accept that apology never given. This one is soooo difficult, but this is something I really want to do for myself, but more, something I want to teach my son.

2. Embrace my age gracefully, doing a fairly good job, but I’m still going to avoid full-length mirrors, come on, we’ve all seen funhouses, these have got to be the same mirrors, right?

July 1 Do something really Canadian for Canada Day. Maybe respectfully pour Canadian beer on maple syrup butter tarts, Nanaimo bars, and poutine while playing hockey, eh.

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4. Drink one more glass of water per day.

5. Pack up a box of stuff and give it away.

July 4 Celebrate our American neighbours by watching that fascinating documentary about the time they saved the world from alien invasion, you know, Independence Day.

7. Clean out that closet. I thought I should tell someone where I’m going so if I’m not back in an hour, send help.

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How to be good to one another? Be kind and accepting. Accept that people have different beliefs, opinions, cultures, politics, points of view, religions, lifestyles, life experiences, abilities, neurofunctions; different ways to love, to live, to grieve, to have fun, to be angry, to be sad. Just because someone isn’t the same as you doesn’t mean they’re: wrong, scary, defective, a sinner, a monster, or a loser. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, don’t worry about different.
Life’s way too short to be: feared or fearful, hating or hated; try to love and be loved.

If you really have to worry about something,
worry about being good to one another.

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Posted in Books, Chocolate, Family, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

In My Life I Loved Them All

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny629Of
lovers
and
friends
I still
can
recall.
Some
are
dead
and
some are living…
In my life I loved them all.
~The BeaTles

Why do we love when it hurts so much to lose those we love?
How would you answer this question, dear readers?
My answer is as simple and as complex as love itself.
I don’t know for sure, but I think because it feels so amazing to love and be loved, also, we need each other and love connects in a way that nothing else can.

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Love and loss haunt me these days.
I decided reading would offer it’s usual distraction.
As I read Love, Rosie aka Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern (Hachette Books), I felt like I was watching a long Friends episode.
Beyond wanting to swat the characters for being such annoying goofs, I was left with a nagging feeling about love and communication and their places in the modern world.

Lily Collins in Love, Rosie
This book and movie adaptation wouldn’t have happened if the two main characters even once had a simple, honest conversation. There, end of book and they lived more or less happily ever after.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? We can communicate each moment of every day in multiple ways, yet our communication skills seem to be deteriorating. Does non-stop communication help if we’re not telling each other what we really need to know?
Ahern also wrote P.S. I Love You, a funny and poignant book, with the beautiful lesson of going on when you’re ready to go on, how you’re ready to go on, after any kind of loss, but I still liked the movie better – I blame Harry Connick Jr.

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I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it. There’s also: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Gerard Butler, and James Marsters. Oops, I’m sorry book, probably should have read you before I saw the movie. The characters didn’t give me what I wanted, I didn’t feel a sincerity or connection, or maybe I was expecting too much.

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Love comes into our lives in many ways, family, friends, lovers, partners; to fill, enrich, challenge, sustain, nurture, embrace, excite, thrill, comfort, cherish, and support us.
It also leaves in many ways.
How can love continue to breathe when it’s viciously torn away, crushed, betrayed, taken for granted, withdrawn, or ignored?
Because it once was and in some way, somewhere, will always be.
I lost someone I love very much yesterday.
I really can’t imagine a world without…but I must.
Gone from this world, but forever in my heart.

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Which weirdly leads me to Week 4 of my Changes/Happiness Project. I wanted to fall in love again with life, and despite the loss life has repeatedly pummeled me with, I want to keep loving. Here are the first 3 weeks of challenges, if you wish to follow along, or just read about it.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/

Week 4 (has it really been that long?):

1. Decide on 5 things I’d love to do today and just do them (within the limits of time, budget, circumstances, etc.)

2. New bedtime routine: think of 5 things that went well or I was grateful for today and 5 things to hope for, in days ahead.

3. Write down 10 things I want to change, but think I can’t…try to change them.

4. Avoid the cake stalking me. You give cake a bad name. It’s the power of cake. You’d think that people would have had enough of silly cake songs… Don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

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5. Reduce stimuli (mental and physical).

6. Remove a 100 calories per day (chocolate, I still love you, but there’s going to be a shortage of you soon and we have to get used to being apart…ok, that’s long enough.)

7. Construction begins on our street. Allow some time each day to admire the workers…work.

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So why do we love when it hurts so much to lose people?
You don’t turn down the greatest gift in the world just because you can’t keep it forever.

Posted in Family, Uncategorized

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Posted on by D. Parker

1age16

The worst part
 about growing old,
surprisingly,
isn’t:
Wrinkles – although watching your face
become a road map to your final destination isn’t pleasant;
Creaking joints/aches and pains –
maybe shouldn’t have done that.
Learning more than you ever wanted
to learn about some people – sigh.
Losing your nouns, keys, and even memories –
although, frustrating.
The worst part is loss.
Some experience loss early and often through life,1funny65
others face the inevitable and unenviable state of loss
through time.

After losing someone you start thinking about your life
and like most people, I have some regrets.

I regret not seeing a friend was really an enemy
And an enemy was really a friend
I regret harsh words spoken
Cuts that will never mend
I regret not doing what I wanted to do
And doing what I did not want
I regret not being stronger
For being frail when I should have fought
I regret worrying about little things
That only mattered in my head
I regret thinking I knew it all
Using sarcasm to cover pain
I regret turning away from love found
Not recognizing love given
Doing too much
Doing too little
But these are backwards
And do not overwhelm
The smiles I was given
The smiles I received
The love that I treasure
Compassion given
And accepted
Hope lost and recovered
Happiness collected
All invaluable1age14

Posted in Canada, Family, Internet, Political, Uncategorized

Compassion Never Goes Out of Style

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/


When you rise
you should
bring others with you;
when you descend,
invite no one else along.

Sometimes you will hate.
Choose love.
Sometimes you will be indifferent.
Choose compassion.
Sometimes you will despair.
Choose hope.

Was there always so much anger in the world or does the internet just give it a longer reach?

I guess there were always bullies, meanies, thugs, just generally, nasties.

Maybe there were cave people who told other cave people they were terrible at cave drawings.

But the vitriol online? Treating others as you would want to be treated hasn’t changed because of the anonymity of the internet.

The internet can bring people together, to help, to spread information, but it also has a sinister side where people abuse, use, and destroy others, sometimes for sport.

There are too many Human Tornados – charming and convincing, they cut a path of destruction wherever they go. They blow into people’s lives, wreak havoc, then move on, often pretending they’re the victim. Some of them sure are brilliant, at being cruel.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/Do they’re know what they’re doing?
How much they’re hurting others?
The damage they do?
Is it lashing out?
Are they so dissociated from their feelings?
Or so narcissistic that they can’t see past their own feelings?
As you can see, I have more questions than answers.

Social media fights have become notorious – they’ve lead to lawsuits, divorces, estrangement, even death and yet, they rage on.
Venom spewed toward the living, the deceased. Anyone and anything is fair game.
Just because they can.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/Strong, confident people don’t have to judge, or tear others down.

All that time and energy wasted, caring about who others love, what they wear, their weight, their income, what they drive or where they live, who they know, what race or religion they are, lifestyle choices, etc.

Instead of attacking – discuss, ignore, show compassion, or see things from another point of view.

Being wealthy, famous, powerful or on the internet are not character references. Character is what you do, not who you are. It’s what you do when no one can see what you’re doing. Or who you are. Or when you don’t get anything for doing it.

Compassion never goes out of style.

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Internet, Uncategorized

Compassion is the New Extremism

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny55
Each new day, no matter what it brings, I try to face with grace. I’m not always successful. Hopefully I’ll get another chance.

Things creep into your life or leap in, snarling and tearing, either way, they can beat you down so hard you wonder how you will ever get back up…then eventually, you’ll notice you’re standing again.

Those you love will hurt and you can’t always help, but you can always love them.  

People, even good people get lost, if you can, help them find their way. Hopefully, someone will do the same for you.

There will be prejudice and you will think it unfair. It is. Have the courage to denounce it.

You will lose those you love, for many reasons, but you’ll never lose that you loved them.

Kindness can have costs, but you’ll be paid back over and over again.1kindness2Love can hurt, but you’ll keep loving and will want to love again, despite the pain.

If you see someone fall, literally or figuratively, extending a hand feels better than pointing a finger.

There will be dark times, but find people and things that help you through the darkness, not descend into the darkness.
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When another day ends, remember the good, try to understand the bad, be grateful and know that, maybe, just maybe you can try again tomorrow.

On February 20, 2015, the internet is going to be filled with a different form of extremism, compassion. I hope you can join, with a post, a quote, a Tweet, status update, video, photo that means compassion to you…or visit.  I’m not a fan of Slacktivism, but I think we need to remember that compassion, kindness, and hope are better than intolerance, hate, and fear.  #1000Speak

Posted in Movies, Uncategorized

20 Movies To Avoid on a First Date

Posted on by D. Parker

1love701. The Notebook. There’s no winner here, men will be edging to the door wanting to avoid the crying woman beside him in the theater and comparing themselves to Ryan Gosling. Your date will be all dewy-eyed and comparing you to Ryan Gosling.

2. (500) Days Of Summer. Sweet and quirky, but both of you will be thinking, hmmmm, they’re just going to break my heart, why even start this?

3. Lolita. Whole mess of discomfort and awkward conversations.

4. Saw. Any of them. Stay away from horror movies unless your date specifically says they love horror movies.

5. Knocked Up. Take a trip to a pharmacy before you see this.

6. Anything too funny – who can live up to that? Your jokes will fall flat for the rest of the night and you’ll end up repeating back the movie lines. Great way to weed out atrocious laughers though.  

7.  Marley & Me. Nothing says hot date like the death of a beloved pet.

8. Muriel’s Wedding, The Wedding Date, Monsoon Wedding, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. My Best Friend’s Wedding, Love Actually…you could be sized up for a tux while you’re getting popcorn. This goes double for Jane Austen-related films.

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9. Anything too political. Could spark a lively debate or you could end up hating each other.

10. How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Because it’s about screwing up relationships, but mainly because it’s just kinda boring.

11. Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, Misery, Play Misty For Me, You Belong To Me, One Hour Photo, Sleeping With the Enemy, The Crush. Anything too stalkery – your date will be looking for the exits and changing their number.

12. Anything by David Lynch. This could lead to unsettling conversations about who has tried what, with whom, and when.

13. Titanic. Too long and spoilers, it didn’t end well. This goes for: Romeo and Juliet, Blue Valentine, Blue Velvet, The Comfort of Strangers, Antichrist, American Psycho, or Shame.

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14. The Break Up. Leads to long silences and not just about the poor acting.

15. War movies, specifically Holocaust related.

16. Back to the Future. Mom in love with her son. Enough said.

17. He’s Just Not That Into You. Too much chatter and suspicion.

18. Vanilla Sky. I have nothing.

19. Remember Me. Your date may not want Robert Pattinson to die and guess what? Stick with any of the Twilight films.

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20.  Say Anything. Unless you have a boom box, a trench coat and are John Cusack, don’t even try this one.

Posted in Family, Internet, Political, Uncategorized, Weight

So You’ve Ruined Your Life…Now What?

Posted on by D. Parker

So You Ruined Your Life...Now What?You ruined my life!
My life is ruined!
They’re ruining my life!
People use the word ruin a lot,
I do not think it means
what they think it means.
Your life can be altered,
sometimes in extremely
negative ways,
perhaps even
screwed up royally,
but your life
can’t be ruined…
technically.

So what if you:

1. Shared a picture, tweet, post, status update etc. that has offended, disturbed, cost you a job, relationship, friendship, and/or caused massive backlash? Learn from it. People are complex, multidimensional, social media tends to be flat, a moment frozen in time which you have no idea how people are viewing or why, what their filter is, what their life experiences are, etc. It’s so easy to offend on social media, if I haven’t done so already, keep reading, odds are someone will be offended by this.

2. Stayed too long and put too much into trying to save a toxic relationship, whether with a partner, friend, family member? ‘Bad’ relationships can lead to low self-esteem, depression, resentment, fatigue – a waste of time and energy. You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, that isn’t just in poker.

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3. Ate too much over the holidays? Spent too much over the holidays? Exercised too little? No use beating yourself up, accept responsibility and change.

4. Fell in love and fell hard…with stuff. It’s easy to do, shopping in stores, online, it’s exciting, it’s cool, it’s fun, everyone praises and envies your stuff; like any addiction you can choose what you feed it. Is the gratification worth the consequences?

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5. Believed things you heard or read or watched. We’ve all done it, but there’s a lot of bad or just plain wrong information, especially on the internet. Take things with a hefty truckload of salt.

6. Been complacent. You hoped governments and corporations had your best interests at heart. They don’t. They should. But they don’t.

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7. Forgot gratitude and took things for granted. I’m sure we’ve all done this, you get comfortable with people, things and you forget – they can all disappear. It’s so easy to accept, expect, and forget to be thankful. Broken record here, but learn from it.

8. Worried too much about what you say or do. Being yourself is so last year and what if you offend someone or they don’t like something you said or did? You can’t please everyone, so unless you’re hurting someone, this too shall pass. If they don’t like you when you’re really you, move on.

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9. Gave up on dreams, decided to settle? It may not be too late, at least to have a modified version of those dreams. Keep trying.

10. You’ve fallen and you stayed there…There’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, get up, dust off, you’re back!

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Posted in Books, Movies, Uncategorized

Maybe Anna Karenina should have taken a bus

Posted on by D. Parker

1anna1Some books should be reread at various stages of your life, not only to view the book differently, but to view the world differently.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is one of those books.

As a teen I thought this book wildly romantic. A tragic tale filled with noble nobles; and I didn’t fully understand why the peasants were so upset.

In my 20s I thought Anna Karenina was a narcissistic neurotic birdbrain; the nobles pompous gits; and the peasants noble.

Now, in my 40s I decided to read this again, so I borrowed the recent Oxford University Press version, an inspiring and edifying translation with notes and a wonderful introduction by Rosamund Bartlett from Netgalley.com for the low price of an honest review. As the pages flew by I realized how differently I now see the novel as well as the complicated navigation of life’s path. The message that finding happiness without causing damage or destruction is so clear, though easier said than done, and for Anna Karenina, apparently impossible. Trapped in a loveless marriage, surrounded by sociopolitical upheaval, and bound by the brutal intolerance and hypocrisy of society, she made poor choices.

No idea how I will see this years from now.

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Rosamund Bartlett’s patient guidance through the troubled waters of Tolstoy’s complicated soul offers generations a chance to experience the passion and progress, still relevant today. Translations of Tolstoy can be thorny, his remarkable ability to link realist and modern writing to emphasize differing attitudes and lifestyles can be difficult to communicate without altering or losing his viewpoint.

1anna4There have also been many visions of this classic presented on film. The latest adaptation by director Joe Wright, screenplay by Tom Stoppard starring Keira Knightley, Jude Law, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson was a sumptuous  delight for the senses, yet in the 1927 silent film, Love starring Greta Garbo and John Gilbert  had a consummate romance and depth of despair that spoke volumes.

All in all, maybe Anna Karenina should have taken a bus.

Posted in Books, Movies, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

Maya Angelou Her Brave and Startling Truth

Posted on by D. Parker

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Maya Angelou has gone from this world.

After living so many lives.

Who knew such terror, such hardship, and such horror, still recognized and chose joy, love, and hope. She choose courage and laughter.

She told us in words and deeds to live, not regret living.

Lent her voice to those in need until they found their own.

If you have given yourself the gift of her writing you will already know what you need to know. If you haven’t, be good enough to yourself to do so.

I urge anyone who doesn’t know the story of Maya Angelou to learn, for in her story you will find many brave and startling truths worth knowing…

There are no better words to describe the force of Maya Angelou and the light she shone on the world than her own words:

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.”

“I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”

And my all time favourite because this guides my life:
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We will never have to say goodbye because on the pulse of each new day Maya Angelou is with us to say, “Very simply With hope Good morning.”

Posted in Books, Christmas, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

BELL BOOK AND CANDLE

Posted on by D. Parker

ImageWhile this 1958 romcom is not generally considered a Christmas movie, this elegant, charming, and unusual classic is a sumptuous break from sappy holiday fare.

christmas207Loved James Stewart in this, his last role as a leading man. He was simply amazing. Jack Lemmon is a chuckle generator. Kim Novak is glamour incarnate…Elsa Lanchester is delightful.

This comedic tale of love and magic makes one purrrrrrrr with holiday cheer.christmas209

Posted in Books, Christmas, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY

Posted on by D. Parker

bridgetjones20It is a truth universally acknowledged that just about everyone knows a Bridget, is a Bridget, or wants to be a Bridget.bridgetjones23

I get why this movie is branded a chick flick, but I respectfully disagree. This is a movie about choices, about being yourself and true to yourself even if that might be a little wonky, and about love. Aren’t those common themes? If not, maybe they should be.

And as funny as the movie is, I tend to think the book even funnier, but then you don’t get the cast, toss up.bridgetjones2So whether you’ve found your reindeer jumper magic or still asking where’s the loo, keep going, because as long as you’re having fun…that’s the real magic.bridgetjones17Happy Christmas!

Posted in Christmas, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

Posted on by D. Parker

christmas158There have been so many versions of A Christmas Carol over the years, but none make me smile the way The Muppet Christmas Carol does.

They’ve adapted this (added a Marley bro so they could use Statler and Waldorf),christmas160and made it a little more child-friendly that the original to give us a heart-warming, joyful gift that keeps giving. And we can’t get enough of this redemption ghost story, can we?

Kermit is the perfect Bob Cratchit and Michael Caine is the quintessential Scrooge.
I can’t say how many times I’ve watched this, but it’s still fun.

Tell me you can get this out of your head:

Still love The Muppets. Think I may have to go watch it…er, again.

christmas163

Posted in Books, Movies, Poetry, Political, Uncategorized

Goodnight Nelson Mandela

Posted on by D. Parker

mandela10There are people in this world that build it, grow it, strengthen it, enhance  it. They bring principles. They bring love. They bring compassion. They bring hope. Nelson Mandela believed in justice for all and fought for it.

Known by many as Madiba (his Xhosa clan name) or Tata (Father), Mandela gave more to this world than he took. Was he a Saint? No. Was he a champion? Yes, in the truest sense of the word. A hero who showed that strength and power come not from force and oppression, but from hope, kindness, love, and peace.

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Nelson Mandela had this poem on a scrap of paper during his long, unwarranted incarceration…the strength of Mandela (and the poet, William Ernest Henley) are truly inspiring and have inspired others.

Invictus (Unconquered/Undefeated)

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henleymandela3

The world is a sadder place today because he is no longer here. It is a better place that he was here.

Goodnight Nelson Mandela. Thank you for showing the world that nothing is impossible.

mandela11

Posted in Books, Movies, Uncategorized

P.S. I LOVE YOU

Posted on by D. Parker

psilu8I liked the movie better than the book despite the change in locations. I don’t say that too often.

Maybe it was Harry Connick Jr. I’ll blame him. No, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it.psilu6I found the characters in the book didn’t give me what I wanted or maybe I was expecting too much. It is a great read, just not fantastic.

As romcoms go, it has more to offer than many. It offers loss, grief, sorrow, change, renewal, love, and hope with small storms of laughter. And the lesson of going on when you’re ready to go on, how you’re ready to go on, after any kind of loss.psilu2

Oh and there was Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Gerard Butler and James Marsters…

Sorry book, I probably should have read you before I saw the movie. My bad.psilu4Love isn’t replaced, only added to.

Posted in Fibromyalgia, Uncategorized

F is For Fibromyalgia

Posted on by D. Parker

There is nothing in this world like someone who believes in you, who’s there for you and who understands maybe you’re not always 100%, but you’re doing you’re best. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, a co-worker, a social networking friend…hopefully you can be there for them too.

fibromyalgia14

Illness is frustrating. In the case of Fibromyalgia the symptoms are numerous and strange, but people’s reactions to it are even stranger.

1. The Doubters    They doubt you have it, many doubt it even exists. Some tell you outright, others say things like, you look good with an arched brow or you don’t look sick. Or the classics like: everyone gets tired…you are getting older…Snap out of it…and the ultimate, there are people much worse off than you. Thanks, it makes me feel so much better to know there are people suffering, cheers me right up. Huh?

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2. The ItsGoners     If you don’t look like you’re on Death’s door they decide you’re fine. If they see you and you don’t look good or are having a flare or mention you’re not feeling well, they say things like you looked good last time I saw you so I thought you were better. It’s not a cold, it doesn’t just good away (I wish).

3. The TryHarders    These folks love to fix everything by giving you a rousing lecture on what you could be doing (as if you haven’t tried everything short of a Witch Doctor or alien crystals) or explaining what you’re doing wrong. Always good to get advice from someone who has no idea what they’re talking about. Maybe if you go out more…I thought you were stronger than that…pull yourself together…fibromyalgia16

4. The Renouncers     They just completely ignore that you’re ill or even ignore you. You get no empathy or support, just stories of their busy life, or their difficult life, etc. Even when you try to do something they’re never there to support you, but they sure get upset if you’re not there to support them.

5. The Carers   A rare breed. They have empathy for your illness, not sympathy. They realize that you’re doing your best and are there for you in the way you need.

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Pick an illness, or a life challenge, hopefully you have some #5s in your life and hope you can be a #5 to someone else.