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Spock, you made it cool to be different

1spock7My own little teen Spock has been ill with a cold for the last few days.
Then the news today, Spock/Leonard Nimoy (most famous for Star Trek, but also a fascinating director/writer/photographer/singer, etc.) has passed away. It’s illogical to be so sad at the passing of an actor, but as a Trekker, Nimoy was in my life since I was very young.

Spock was also an early example of a character with qualities of Asperger’s Syndrome on TV. Asperger’s didn’t even have a name when Nimoy started playing Spock, but he showed that being different was cool.

I hope Gene Roddenberry’s vision of the future, where there will be less or no distinction between differences, comes true someday.

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I think the biggest tragedy of our time is that people still have so many prejudices, especially about things they don’t understand.
They don’t know what they’re missing.

Most of us have known someone with:
Stroke, migraines, CP, ALS, MS, Parkinson’s Disease,
Alzheimer’s, Tetanus, Pinched nerve, meningitis,
Huntington’s Disease, Migraines, Epilepsy, Polio,
or some other neurological disorder.
Imagine telling someone who’d suffered a stroke to just talk properly?
Don’t think so.
Telling someone with ALS to stop being so lazy? 1spock2
No way.
Suggesting to someone with Alzheimer’s they could remember if they just tried harder.
Doubtful.
Or someone with Parkinson’s to stop shaking, that they were just trying to get attention?
Improbable.
Yet people with Autism are constantly told to:
grow up, smarten up, man up, stop being so lazy.
People scoff, blame, bully, abuse, mock, make jokes, call names, etc.
Autism is a neurological condition just like any other.
They have as much control over how their brain works as any other neurological disorder.

If we could all just accept each other, we’d see the amazing.

And I see my teen Spock is awake again…

Goodbye Mr. Nimoy, you came into our hearts through our TVs; you made it cool to be different.

“That is the exploration that awaits you! Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.” ~Leonard NimoyStar Trek: The Original Series

LLAP


Coulda Woulda Shoulda

1age16

The worst part
 about growing old,
surprisingly,
isn’t:
Wrinkles – although watching your face
become a road map to your final destination isn’t pleasant;
Creaking joints/aches and pains –
maybe shouldn’t have done that.
Learning more than you ever wanted
to learn about some people – sigh.
Losing your nouns, keys, and even memories –
although, frustrating.
The worst part is loss.
Some experience loss early and often through life,1funny65
others face the inevitable and unenviable state of loss
through time.

After losing someone you start thinking about your life
and like most people, I have some regrets.

I regret not seeing a friend was really an enemy
And an enemy was really a friend
I regret harsh words spoken
Cuts that will never mend
I regret not doing what I wanted to do
And doing what I did not want
I regret not being stronger
For being frail when I should have fought
I regret worrying about little things
That only mattered in my head
I regret thinking I knew it all
Using sarcasm to cover pain
I regret turning away from love found
Not recognizing love given
Doing too much
Doing too little
But these are backwards
And do not overwhelm
The smiles I was given
The smiles I received
The love that I treasure
Compassion given
And accepted
Hope lost and recovered
Happiness collected
All invaluable1age14


Playing By Heart

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Imagine the script of your life. Sometimes I wish I had one, and some hair, make-up, catering, lighting, oh, and some background music to help me know what’s going on.

I’m feeling very nostalgic. The likely cause, the passing of my friend of almost 30 years.

Last night, I found myself watching Playing By Heart, a 1998 mega-cast movie with mixed reviews. Written off as a romdramedy, Sean Connery, Angelina Jolie, Madeleine Stowe, Ryan Phillippe, Dennis Quaid, Anthony Edwards, Gena Rowlands, etc. make this movie worth it’s sluggish moments.

Also has Jon Stewart as a sexy, but geeky architect romancing Gillian Anderson and despite what he says, I think he was magnificently adequate.

The characters are unequivocally neurotic, but likeable. Their dysfunction is pathologically functional. They hurtle through love, loss, grief, and romance on the wings of their illusion of control. It’s when they accept that they’re just playing by heart, those are the moments, a little corny, but poignant and whimsical. They are us.1kindness6

Refreshing to watch a movie where everyone doesn’t have a cellphone attached to their hands or head, or netpotatoes on laptops and tablets. They talk.

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This movie probably wouldn’t be made now – not enough action, or effects, or products in every scene. More about compassion, love, communicating, the simple courage of getting through pain and hard times, and finding solutions. It’s about enjoying other people, and mostly, about hope, even if it’s hidden, it’s still there.


Compassion Never Goes Out of Style

1compassion13


When you rise
you should
bring others with you;
when you descend,
invite no one else along.

Sometimes you will hate.
Choose love.
Sometimes you will be indifferent.
Choose compassion.
Sometimes you will despair.
Choose hope.

Was there always so much anger in the world or does the internet just give it a longer reach?

I guess there were always bullies, meanies, thugs, just generally, nasties.

Maybe there were cave people who told other cave people they were terrible at cave drawings.

But the vitriol online? Treating others as you would want to be treated hasn’t changed because of the anonymity of the internet.

The internet can bring people together, to help, to spread information, but it also has a sinister side where people abuse, use, and destroy others, sometimes for sport.

There are too many Human Tornados – charming and convincing, they cut a path of destruction wherever they go. They blow into people’s lives, wreak havoc, then move on, often pretending they’re the victim. Some of them sure are brilliant, at being cruel.

1kindness1Do they’re know what they’re doing?
How much they’re hurting others?
The damage they do?
Is it lashing out?
Are they so dissociated from their feelings?
Or so narcissistic that they can’t see past their own feelings?
As you can see, I have more questions than answers.

Social media fights have become notorious – they’ve lead to lawsuits, divorces, estrangement, even death and yet, they rage on.
Venom spewed toward the living, the deceased. Anyone and anything is fair game.
Just because they can.

1compassion7Strong, confident people don’t have to judge, or tear others down.

All that time and energy wasted, caring about who others love, what they wear, their weight, their income, what they drive or where they live, who they know, what race or religion they are, lifestyle choices, etc.

Instead of attacking – discuss, ignore, show compassion, or see things from another point of view.

Being wealthy, famous, powerful or on the internet are not character references. Character is what you do, not who you are. It’s what you do when no one can see what you’re doing. Or who you are. Or when you don’t get anything for doing it.

Compassion never goes out of style.


Compassion is the New Extremism

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Each new day, no matter what it brings, I try to face with grace. I’m not always successful. Hopefully I’ll get another chance.

Things creep into your life or leap in, snarling and tearing, either way, they can beat you down so hard you wonder how you will ever get back up…then eventually, you’ll notice you’re standing again.

Those you love will hurt and you can’t always help, but you can always love them.  

People, even good people get lost, if you can, help them find their way. Hopefully, someone will do the same for you.

There will be prejudice and you will think it unfair. It is. Have the courage to denounce it.

You will lose those you love, for many reasons, but you’ll never lose that you loved them.

Kindness can have costs, but you’ll be paid back over and over again.1kindness2Love can hurt, but you’ll keep loving and will want to love again, despite the pain.

If you see someone fall, literally or figuratively, extending a hand feels better than pointing a finger.

There will be dark times, but find people and things that help you through the darkness, not descend into the darkness.
1funny69
When another day ends, remember the good, try to understand the bad, be grateful and know that, maybe, just maybe you can try again tomorrow.

On February 20, 2015, the internet is going to be filled with a different form of extremism, compassion. I hope you can join, with a post, a quote, a Tweet, status update, video, photo that means compassion to you…or visit.  I’m not a fan of Slacktivism, but I think we need to remember that compassion, kindness, and hope are better than intolerance, hate, and fear.  #1000Speak


We’ll Always Have Pancakes

Tuesday isn’t Friday and it never will be.

Tuesday Weld (Susan Ker Weld) legally changed her name in 1959. She was born on a Friday. While filming Wild in the Country (1961) Weld was professionally and personally involved with Elvis. Elvis died at 42, on Tuesday August 16, 1977. There are those that believe otherwise.1atuesday2Tuesday is thankful it’s not Monday; people seem to really hate Monday.

Ruby Tuesday, the classic hit by The Rolling Stones was originally titled, Title B. Hmmm, would a chain of restaurants called themselves Title B?

People are allegedly the least ‘frisky’ on Tuesdays.

 If You Give a Pig a Pancake by Laura Numeroff, illustrated by Felicia Bond is one is a series of children’s books that teaches cause and effect. The usual effect for me? When reading it to my son, I wanted pancakes.

October 29, 1929, also known as Black Tuesday, when the New York Stock Exchange crashed, signalling the beginning of The Great Depression, which may have been badly named.

Tuesday June 6, 1944, D-Day. Allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, France to liberate Nazi-controlled Europe.

1atuesday3Tuesday is allegedly the most productive day of the work week. If you’re reading this at work, that may not be true.

Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday – all the same day. Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many Christians. Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras is a time to celebrate and feast on foods not allowed during the austerity of Lent, most of which are rich in fat…now I’m drooling at the thought of pancakes. Even if people don’t observe Lent, many celebrate Pancake Tuesday or Fat Tuesday.

Here’s my favourite pancake recipe:
½ cup flour (your choice)
1 ½ cups of oatmeal
1 tbsp honey 1atuesday11
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
Mix together lightly in a large bowl.
Add 1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sour milk (you can make milk sour by adding 1 tsp vinegar)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 large egg
Mix gently and cook with a small amount of butter/olive oil mixture to grease the pan.

Garnish to taste and enjoy!

“He respects Owl, because you can’t help respecting anybody who can spell Tuesday even if he doesn’t spell it right” ~AA Milne

 


20 Movies To Avoid on a First Date

 

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1. The Notebook. There’s no winner here, men will be edging to the door wanting to avoid the crying woman beside him in the theater and comparing themselves to Ryan Gosling. Your date will be all dewy-eyed and comparing you to Ryan Gosling.

2. (500) Days Of Summer. Sweet and quirky, but both of you will be thinking, hmmmm, they’re just going to break my heart, why even start this?

3. Lolita. Whole mess of discomfort and awkward conversations.

4. Saw. Any of them. Stay away from horror movies unless your date specifically says they love horror movies.

5. Knocked Up. Take a trip to a pharmacy before you see this.

6. Anything too funny – who can live up to that? Your jokes will fall flat for the rest of the night and you’ll end up repeating back the movie lines. Great way to weed out atrocious laughers though.  

7.  Marley & Me. Nothing says hot date like the death of a beloved pet.

8. Muriel’s Wedding, The Wedding Date, Monsoon Wedding, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. My Best Friend’s Wedding, Love Actually…you could be sized up for a tux while you’re getting popcorn. This goes double for Jane Austen-related films.

1love699. Anything too political. Could spark a lively debate or you could end up hating each other.

10. How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Because it’s about screwing up relationships, but mainly because it’s just kinda boring.

11. Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, Misery, Play Misty For Me, You Belong To Me, One Hour Photo, Sleeping With the Enemy, The Crush. Anything too stalkery – your date will be looking for the exits and changing their number.

12. Anything by David Lynch. This could lead to unsettling conversations about who has tried what, with whom, and when.

13. Titanic. Too long and spoilers, it didn’t end well. This goes for: Romeo and Juliet, Blue Valentine, Blue Velvet, The Comfort of Strangers, Antichrist, American Psycho, or Shame.1love73

14. The Break Up. Leads to long silences and not just about the poor acting.

15. War movies, specifically Holocaust related.

16. Back to the Future. Mom in love with her son. Enough said.

17. He’s Just Not That Into You. Too much chatter and suspicion.

18. Vanilla Sky. I have nothing.

19. Remember Me. Your date may not want Robert Pattinson to die and guess what? Stick with any of the Twilight films.

1say720.  Say Anything. Unless you have a boom box, a trench coat and are John Cusack, don’t even try this one.


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