Posted in Christmas

Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, shopping, or a Christmas tree – could we unblur the lines between good and bad? Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is less celebration of Black Hats (or Red Hats with Fur Trim), more celebration of White Hats (and cookies, definitely cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We cheer for serial killers, drug lords, mobsters; glamorize celebrities and corporate fat cats – I hear they can even become President.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We’re allegedly repulsed by the violence, greed, self-absorption yet…we’re mesmerized.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Look at Santa. Or should I say: Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Father Christmas, SinterKlaas, St. Nicholas, Dun Che Lao Ren, Kris Kringle? Secret Santa indeed…he needs many aliases, with all the break and enters; sure, he leaves gifts but also a lingering sense of unease.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Some poor child still sings about being traumatized when he saw his Mommy kissing ‘Santa Claus’ underneath the mistletoe one night; how about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, huh, whose reindeer? Take a wild guess.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa only works one day a year, while keeping elves slaving all year-long, to make toys, for which he takes the credit (and cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa’s all ‘thank u, next’, he only cared about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer when he deemed Rudolph useful, not when the poor reindeer was bullied relentlessly (#BeBestSanta).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Only eight tiny reindeer? Really?!? For one cookie-stuffed man? Does that seem fair?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa leaves his reindeer out in the cold and snow while he goes into warm homes…and they say The Grinch treated Max poorly (he did/does!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Elvis begged Santa to bring his ‘baby’ back to him…what other atrocities don’t we know about, is it just me or does Santa seem kinda, I dunno, elfish?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa tells children he’s watching them when they’re sleeping; knows if they’ve been bad or good. He browbeats children into behaving well, threatening to leave a toxic substance, a lump of coal, in their stocking – The Nice List, The Naughty List, more like The Blacklist.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

What’s next, Santa?

  • Are you gonna lead The Sons of Santa motorcycle gang, Ho Ho SAMCRO?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be President in The House of Christmas Cards?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Have a barbed wire baseball bat covered in with Christmas lights (P.S. You’ll poke your eye out with that thing; or someone else’s eye)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Kill to sit on the Candy Cane Throne in the Game of Santa’s Village Thrones (you sit on a throne of lies)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Go over to The Dark Side (they have Christmas cookies – Merry Sithmas!)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be known as He Who Must Not Be Named at The North PoleHarry Potter and The Half-Eaten Gingerbread Man?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Breaking Bad Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Supernatural Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Rescue Me from Santa’s tyranny…Hmmm, maybe Santa should be on The Naughty List.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa baby, c’mon please make it right this Christmas, or at least make it wrong and interesting.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright and May All Your Dreams https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/ Take Flight!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

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Posted in Canada, social media

All We’re Asking Is For A Little Respect

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/Vague Meanderings from The Great White North
Yes, The Great White North, we don’t need to be great again, we just are…oh and by white we mean our snow, not our complexions (what’s that got to do with anything anyway?). We’re proud to be a cultural mosaic. It’s not cold here right now, it’s sauna-like, with the prerequisite nude folks (sometimes a towel can be a lifesaver…mine). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Our news is flooded with the loss of a spectacular voice (for song and human rights) that came from an inspirational woman – Aretha Franklin, The Queen of Soul will move our ears, feet, and hearts forever…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • More people killed with guns (who knew, guns do kill people); Omarosa is a sociopath just like Trump The Great Orange Misleader, they deserve each other, but we don’t deserve either – perhaps they’re in on it together, hey, let’s have a public feud and split the royalties.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Canada has legal marijuana (if ya wanna). Trump is meangirling us, “I’m not even talking to Canada right now!”  OMG, cause Kelly told Stephen told Sarah told Jared told Ivanka that Justin Trudeau wasn’t kissing Donald’s butt – I can’t even!  New reality show idea: “High School White House”. How’s that cyberbullying campaign going, Melania? Be Best indeed.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • By the way, Trump not talking to us here in Canada, can I just say a simple and heartfelt, thank you. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/ America has 10x Canada’s population but we’re dominating trade and hurting the USA? How does that work? Math, dude, try it.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • HBC (Hudson’s Bay Company)/Britain, now they knew how to dominate trade, unfortunately in an aggressively brutal, demeaning, and evil way, especially the fur trade – can you tell I just watched Frontier on Netflix, originally on Discovery? Jason Momoa (oh my, did it just get really hot in here? Blogger fanning herself…

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

    Been watching him since Stargate: Atlantis, don’t judge. Game of Thrones really should have kept him longer, Khal Drogo, oh my, even hotter in here….sure, he’s Aquaman now, but we have to watch the new DC stuff to see him, shudder, also, Allan Hawco, Shawn Doyle, Landon LiboironTantoo Cardinal, Evan Jonigkeit, Greg Bryk, Zoe Boyle and more. But I digress.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Automation killed the jobs, not NAFTA. See, we missed a step, a) Get everyone a basic income, we should all have enough (those who want more are free to pursue it; don’t bother with the ‘we don’t have the money’, we do, it’s just lining the wrong pockets), then, b) Automate the jobs, and lastly, c) Quit whining, learn some facts (they’re fun, I promise).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Taking down all the statues? The American Civil War happened. Slavery happened (and it wasn’t a choice, Kanye West, you’re confused). Genocides. Holocausts. Sir John A Macdonald happened. You can’t erase history like an old VCR tape of Magnum P.I. – learn from it, don’t let it happen again. Redo the plaques on statues with both, oh heck, why not all, sides of the story? No use throwing out all the old drunk white guys with the bath water (at this rate there will just be more).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Saudi Arabia is picking on Canada cause we’re standing up for human rights , women’s rights, and freedom of speech – well excuuuuuuse us! We’re Canada, guys, it’s kind of our thing. We’re Peacekeepers. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/All we’re asking is for a little respect…just a little (although a lot would better, sometimes more is better).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • We don’t have a spotless human rights record ourselves, the Indian Act, Residential Schools, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/06/people-are-people/ polluted water, poverty, black mold and so much more on reserves, oh heck, reserves themselves (let’s go with cultural genocide), but we’re not just paying lip service to trying to do better, er, mostly…and as a woman, gotta say, equal rights, hmmmm….not so much.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

    And as the clock moves backwards in Ontario (that’s a Province…honest) – to start, no more electric vehicle rebates, clean energy rebates, carbon tax, oh and moving sex education back 20 years…Wait, so we now have Buck-A-Beer, legalized marijuana, and out-of-date sex ed – what could go wrong?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • What else? Children in cages; children stolen from their parents; war; famine; biorisk; healthcare; revoking security clearances (public enemies list, aah, Nixon, the gift that keeps on giving…maybe his ghost is floating around going, “I am not that  big a crook!”, so instead, McRaven for Prez 2020?) to stop an investigation. Witch hunt (which hunt?) or rigged election, conspiracy, and a desperate attempt to hang onto stolen power.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • ISIS, still a thing (look up the numbers); human trafficking; child abuse (I believe you forfeit your rights as a human when you hurt a child, there, I said it…and I have some ideas on what to do with them).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

     

  • Racism, sexism and a bunch of other isms; collaborators to the right of us, maybe to the left – there must be some kinda way outta here, because Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix got it right, “let us stop talkin’ falsely now” and by ‘falsely’ they didn’t mean believe liars, try it the other way round, there, that’s a better fit.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Climate change, sure, it’s all natural, sure, we’ll just keep telling ourselves that, extreme weather events are good fodder for social media (Instagram that hurricane!); gray/grey tsunami (not fifty shades either).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Cybersecurity; free trade; fair trade; fair work; fair treatment; fair weather (umm, friends…no one told life was gonna be this way https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/09/28/we-were-on-a-break/)

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • More tax breaks/loopholes for the poor little rich guys, they’re hard done by you know; opioids; malnourishment/hunger; clean water scarcity;https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Russian nesting doll satellites; comets; plastic pollution islands, grieving Orcas; dead sea life; nuclear insecurity (aka spoiled brats holding their, er, weapons in their creepy little hands).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Unemployment/underemployment; lack of education; fossils liking fuels; food waste; The Walking Dead, aka zombies (oh wait, is that just Congress and the Senate, hard to tell)…

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Space Force (can I wear space pants in these latest Star Wars?).

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Wildfires (how can we sleep when our homes are burning?); scams; scums; lack of social and economic dignity (where’s that respect again?); rape; slime; murder; priests (fix the problem instead of continually apologizing and making payouts).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

  • Even if I’m never heard, my words bouncing around this giant virtual haystack, pinging like a metal ball in a pinball machine (oh my, how old am I again?)

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

    then at least I won’t be a link in this “Chain, Chain, Chain…Chain of Fools”. Money shouldn’t rule.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

    • I still believe (don’t stop believing…) we can rise together. “Think”. Think, think, who do you wanna be?

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

Posted in Books, Televison, Uncategorized

I’m Not Inclined To Resign To Maturity

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/How do I stay positive in a negative world? I’m positive I’ve had brushes with cynicism, brief flings with pessimism, but lately I’ve been feeling less, I don’t know, less confident in the positive aspects of life. In days past, I thought being positive and honest was doing the right thing.
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/I somehow believed being positive and honest would help me have a ‘good life’, it would make me ‘happy’, maybe even help others have a ‘good life’, but society keeps screaming at me that I’ve got it all wrong. And the screams are getting louder every day.
Dishonest people get what they want.
Greedy people get what they want.
Narcissistic people get what they want.
At least it seems that way.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Maybe I’m over thinking this, being too adult, too mature, maybe Steve Franks got it right in the Psych (best TV series ever or pretty close) theme song, “I’m not inclined to resign to maturity”. If what I saw in the past few years is adulting, then I see why: video games, smartphones, fast food, onesies, drones, vacations, etc. are so popular – they make us feel like children again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Speaking of feeling like a child, while I still have Netflix for free and returned to Stars Hollow to catch up on Gilmore girls Resurrected (isn’t that the title, it should be).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

When I started watching Gg, in 2000, the world was a really different place.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/
It hadn’t been completely invaded by smartphones, fake news, and lattes – people still talked to each other, only had semi-fake news, and drank basic legal stimulants, er, coffee…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Seven seasons of Gg…still going? Thanks, charming-fast-talkers-narcissistical-wholesome-spend-the-GDP-of-a-small-country-on-food-emotion-stringtuggers who make me feel hungry and slightly brain hurty.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Brain hurt aside, I don’t want to drink the Objectivism koolaid  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/29/the-pursuit-of-happiness-cult/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

It revived the ghosts of TV past and present (dare I hope, future?): Smallville, Roswell, Buffy, Charmed, Jared Padalecki – portrayed Dean in Gilmore Girls, later plays Sam in Supernatural, with his brother, Dean played by Jensen Ackles, hmmm, I’m confused https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/26/supernatural-impala/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

So, oops, I watched it again…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Apocalyptic/fantasy/historical books, movies, and TV shows are sooo popular: Hunger Games; DoctorWho; Colony; The Matrix; Vikings; Westworld; Grimm; Sleepy Hollow; Game Of Thrones; The Walking Dead; Terminator; Supernatural; Revolution; The Last Man on Earth; Z Nation; Aftermath (you get the point).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

Worlds in these books, movies, and TV shows are full of horrible things, really horrible things, but…less consumerism, fewer people arguing over everything and not seeing other people’s points of view, less obvious fakeness, no smart phone dependency, and pimped out coffee – I can learn to handle a crossbow or find someone else who can handle one.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

My New Year’s resolutions just begging to be broken…

  • Avoid foods that make me feel sluggish, ill, regretful, sigh, oops I ate it again.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

  •  Stop celebrating birthdays. This birthday made me feel my mortality – or was it watching long lists of celebrities who died in 2016, hmmm, I’m far from a celebrity, so I’m probably ok, for now.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

  • Less watching shows like Van Helsing (the series); it’s good, if you like apocalyptic world orders where life is drained out of people – since Trump was elected POTUS and hacking in general (Russia in particular) is a cool thing now, I’m guessing the answer is a big fat juicy ‘yes’!

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

  • Don’t smirk when I hear stupid or bizarre things, ie. birthday platitudes like, “Your best years are ahead of you”. Really? Saying I’m in midlife wasn’t unrealistic enough? Unless I win a super-duper lottery, and/or get a 50 book publishing deal, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/ and/or start dating David Tennant or James Roday (at the same time?), my best years are years I can only remember (what I can remember). And when people tempt fate at New Year when they say next year couldn’t be any worse (especially this year).  Really?

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

  • Live my life with more passion, don’t give in to FOMO  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/08/is-everyone-hanging-out-without-me/ and never run out of Windex, wait, that might all have to do with watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.

    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

I know, you know…

Welcome to 2017, go out and be!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/

 

Posted in Cats, Uncategorized

Shock and Awww

 

1ashock2

“Somewhere,
something
incredible
is waiting
to be known.”
~Carl Sagan

People use the word ‘shock’ a lot. The news keeps telling us how shocked we should be. Politicians are always shocked. Most things they use the word shock for, are not, in fact, shocking.

1ashock23

Shockingly, we’re still cavepeople. We just happen to be living in a modern world. The modern trend is toward being positive, but there is a reason humans tend to be negative. It kept us alive. It was important to caution your family, friends, even strangers about: the wolves in the forest, the cliff behind the bush, the saber tooth tiger about to jump on their head, the rabid bats in the cave, the poison berries, and so on. We spoke of, then later, wrote about negative things not always to dwell on them, but to often to help others, protect others. And sometimes, other times, it’s just mean.

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Now we warn people about bad restaurants on Yelp, about faulty products, bad apps, terrible service, overcharging, scams, hoaxes, crimes, we even warn people are triggers and spoilers…Constant weather talk, a throwback to warning people about possible dangers. Gossip. Complaining. Oversharing on social media. Maybe it all throws back to this instinct to warn people. And when we feel people aren’t heeding the warnings, more aggressive, provocative, shocking language and images are used.

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Things people are shocked by…but why?

1. It’s not shocking when someone dies. Poor, rich, old, young, famous, unknown…it can be sad, sudden, heartbreaking, but not shocking. To the best of my knowledge, everyone dies, unless there’s something I don’t know.

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2. People make stuff up to get attention, money, power, and all kinds of stuff. People lie for all kinds of reason and sometimes, for no reason. Stupid, but not shocking.

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3.  TV, movies, even most books aren’t supposed to be your moral compass. Shockingly many of them contain questionable moral content. They’re entertainment.

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 4. Adultery and cheating. Why call them shocking? Wouldn’t have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too-cowards be more accurate?

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5. News about money, sports, politics that you hear will make no sense whatsoever, sometimes in the same sentence, definitely 5 minutes from now, an hour, day, month, year. Too often confabulation, time-fillers, ratings-getters. When there’s blood in the water, in the race to tell us something, anything there’s little time for facts. Pathetic, pandering, and vacuous, not shocking.

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6. Business is meant to be confusing, so don’t be shocked that Guerrilla Marketing doesn’t involve putting guerillas in adorable outfits while using the latest iPhone apps, and The Fatal 2% Rule has to do with market share, not 2% of main characters on TV shows being killed off, cough, cough, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, cough, cough.

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7. It’s not shocking when fictional characters do bad things, things you don’t agree with, and even when they die (see #6)…it actually makes them less fictional and more realistic.

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8. Relationships are uber complicated, ok, sometimes shockingly so…

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9. Celebrities do weird stuff, say weird stuff, and/or wear weird stuff to get attention, you know, publicity. Shocker.

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10. People do horrible things to each other, and for each other. You don’t have to like it, but it’s not shocking.

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11. Don’t be shocked when people show their true colours and/or let you down, just try not to put yourself in the position where they can do it again.

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 12. It’s not shocking kittens and puppies are cute. Ok, maybe shock and awww.

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We want to warn people of bad things, but it’s also human nature to spread joy, beauty, kindness, happiness and hope…the good. Blogs, books, art, music, poetry, tweets, updates, texts, email, TV, movies – information wants to be shared, given, known, to be free. Don’t be shocked when it does. Be grateful.

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Posted in Cats, Christmas, Cooking, Holidays

How To Get Away With Christmas

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays, try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins in July with brief visits from other holidays. Don’t limit yourself to Christmassy stuff…be glad you’re not invited to a Game of Thrones Christmas party; see who survived (Christmas) on The Walking Dead; try to figure out what they’re cooking on Breaking Bad; or catch up with Mrs. Brown’s Boys (Dear Santa, I can explain…). Soon it will be January (sorry, I skipped ahead, was I wrong in assuming you don’t have anyone for New Year’s Eve either?), then you’ll have a few weeks to recover before the Valentine’s Day trauma begins, maybe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

2. Gently ‘add’ yourself to someone else’s Christmas or add someone to yours.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
3. Find dating sites/apps and go on a holiday dating spree. Eggnog your way through stories about his/her ex, mom, ex’s mom, work, football, baseball, hockey, fashion, cars…Who knows, maybe you’ll find a Christmas miracle.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

4. Adjust your expectations. Social media is one long high school reunion. Everyone is wearing their best outfit, just lost weight, and sharing only highlights of their life.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
5. Read, write, blog, sing, bake, work, clean, declutter, exercise, sleep, go to a movie…flashback to the 70s – dance, wear turtlenecks, bellbottoms, ponchos, and go see Star Wars (or not). It’s all good.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

6. Have a Single Christmas Party (not for singles, just you, be your own party).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
7. Ignore the season, the gaudy decorations, the commercialism, multiple Santas in multiple malls (unless you work there, try to stay out of the malls altogether) and create a Michael-Bublé-Bing-Crosby-Burl-Ives-free #safespace.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
8. Start a new tradition with yourself or others, hopefully one that doesn’t involve eating your feelings (and don’t forget legal).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
9. Help others this season – the best way to keep your mind off your problems is to help others with their problems.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
10. Under no circumstances drink too heavily, that could lead to calling, texting, or emailing an ex, or watching other people having family time, especially through their windows. Though oddly specific, it’s good advice.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
It’s not about what you have, what you get, or even who you’re with, this season is about anything being possible.

Want to know how to get away with Christmas? Simple, enjoy the season and each day, not the way everyone tells you is enjoyable, but the way you enjoy it.

I triple dog dare you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Holidays, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

If I Could Save Time In A Blog Bottle

1gone46There never seems to be enough time
to do the things you want to do,
but there might be,
if I stopped blogging…

But I like blogging…

Yet it’s time-consuming…

Once you’ve let that blogging genie out of the bottle, there’s no turning back. I keep trying to get away, but blogging keeps pulling me back in.

I also like making people laugh, I might be the one during the apocalypse: “Knock Knock.” Random guy, “Who’s there?” “Zombie.” “Zombie who?” Me running, yelling, “Zombie, behind you, run!”

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Then again, too much time isn’t always good, when I have time to think, I often feel like an alien in this world. Not the rubbery, gray, tall, skinny aliens, more like the ET-hey-I-landed-on-your-planet-I need-to-phone-home-wow-your-long-distance-plan-sucks-at-least-the-snacks-are-yummy-does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat-type alien.

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Going out on a limb, I’d say I’m not the only one who’s ever felt they’re waiting for the mothership to take them back to their home planet.
If only I’d arrived with an instruction manual. I know my parents wish I did.

Time runs by us, screaming like a babysitter in a horror movie. And as another Halloween creeps up, let us pay our last respects to things gone, but not forgotten…maybe they’ll return someday (hopefully not as zombies):

1. Hairspray, you once permeated every part of our lives, especially our lungs…guess we’re kinda grateful big hair is dead.

2. Mixed tapes have gone to join the choir invisible – mixed emojis?

3. Adieu giving up your seat to someone elderly or disabled or pregnant; apparently now they must fend for themselves, Game of Thrones-style.

4. Farewell phones, attached to a cord, instead of our hand or head.

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5. Once loved and adored, held up on a pedestal, billboards, race cars, own section in the grocery store…poor little gluten, now dead to many, a social pariah.

6. RIP, ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, and ‘You’re Welcome’, now ghosts of civilities past.

7. Quiet time, without tweets, updates, texts, and emails has kicked the bucket…Remember? Probably not, with all the digital amnesia…

8. Showing up at your new neighbours with baked goods has shuffled off this mortal coil; no friendly greetings, just pepper spray, the police, and/or speech on food allergies.

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9. Bereft of life are ‘Thank You’ notes, but I’m still thankful to people who say cardshark instead of cardsharp, so I can picture a shark playing poker.

10. Talking to plants is now pushin’ up the daisies, can’t we just text them, telling them 2 gro?

11. Not asking for gifts and money has kinda bought the farm – #gimme is society’s new hashtag.

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12. Wobbly inside-out pools hidden under threads of Egyptian cotton; waterbeds gone to their watery grave.

13. Patience is at death’s door, but really, there’s nothing you could possibly have to do (or explain to a judge) that’s worth putting children at risk, on Halloween, or any time.
Please pay attention while driving, I promise that absolutely fascinating tweet, update, text, or email about:

  • how porcupines mate without stabbing each other,

  • the shape of dog’s poop,

  • a divine fat, gluten and dairy-free no-bake cheesecake recipe (can that still be called cheesecake?),

1gone9

  • cats robbed of their dignity via the internet,

  • if Bon Jovi’s hair is still real (see #1),

  • which Kardashian is getting married or divorced (all of them),

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  • if Taco Bell is health food (it’s not),

  • finding out who died on The Walking Dead (hint hint, no one, they’re actors),

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  • Justin Bieber’s private parts (what part of private is hard to understand, Justin?),   

  • discussions about Donald Trump’s IQ (rich doesn’t equal smart)…

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will all be there later, sadly. If not, what did you really miss?

I guess we make time to do the things we want to do, so I’ll save every blogging day ’til blog eternity passes away, just to spend them with you, dear readers.

1gone39

Posted in Books, Fibromyalgia, Food, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

Skeletons In My Closet #1000Speak

1funny583Woah-oh, woah-oh
Skeletons in my closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my closet,
Skeletons in my shoes,
Skeletons I can only see,
Skeletons I can lose….
Skeletons in my basement, loitering on my streets, wearing my best pyjamas, sandwiched between my sheets….Donna? We want you! Donna, Donna! D-Donna, D-Donna, D-Donna, D-Donna?
~To paraphrase Alice Cooper (doubt he’d mind, he’s probably golfing).

The best thing about humans, we’re complex.
The worst thing about humans, we’re complex.

If we’re honest, we all have some skeletons in our closets.
Maybe not stuff you’d see on The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Game of Thrones and hopefully nothing that would show up in a Stephen King novel. Just things we did that we wish we hadn’t done. Things we wish we hadn’t said. Things we’d like to hide away and forget ever happened.

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We should show some love for those skeletons. They remind us of: tough times, poor judgment, mistakes, moments of weakness, intolerance, indifference, cruelty. Mine remind me of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned. Why not just live with them, make peace with our poor choices and our demons? They’re a part of us.

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I know, I know, it’s more comfortable ignore the skeletons and think about, talk about, glory in the times when we did wonderful things.
When we showed kindness, empathy. When we built someone up and made someone feel better. Helped. Comforted. Supported. Cared. Loved.
But what about those times when we didn’t?

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Most monsters are born of pain, despair, sorrow, loneliness, neglect, abuse, greed, apathy, and horrors.
As you grow older, you begin to care much less about pleasing others and worrying about what people think.
They’re going to think what they think.
You can try and try, but you can’t please everyone.
If you’re controlled by the past, how can you enjoy the present?
I’d rather have my skeletons out there, dancing (hey, they’re not bad dancers) than judging others and being a hypocrite.

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It doesn’t matter who or where you come from and choices you’ve made, what matters is who you choose to be from now on.
We worry so much about skeletons while we have monsters to wrestle each day: pain, loss, hopes dashed, conflict, poverty, illness, loneliness, anger, disappointment, frustration, guilt. Make peace with the monsters so they don’t hurt others, even inadvertently.
One of my monsters is chronic illness. It fights to stop me from enjoying life and I do my warrior princess cry (in my head, it would be extremely disruptive to do it out loud) and fight back. I’ve lost a lot, but in the end, I show my monsters some compassion, they’re a part of me.
As long as no one gets hurt, invite your monsters and skeletons for a cup of tea and comfort…or wine…or coffee…or maybe something stronger depending on how long they’ve been in the closet. Don’t forget to offer them cookies, cake, and ummm, snow cones?

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I wake up every morning to a monster in my room.
I try to speak to it, but it runs away too soon.
It sneaks in while I sleep, to hide behind my bed.
I can hear it breathing; does it want me dead?
What is it doing? Is it playing games?
I sip some tea and finally see,
that lovely monster is part of…me.

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