Posted in Christmas

Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, shopping, or a Christmas tree – could we unblur the lines between good and bad? Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is less celebration of Black Hats (or Red Hats with Fur Trim), more celebration of White Hats (and cookies, definitely cookies).
We cheer for serial killers, drug lords, mobsters; glamorize celebrities and corporate fat cats – I hear they can even become President.
We’re allegedly repulsed by the violence, greed, self-absorption yet…we’re mesmerized.

  • Look at Santa. Or should I say: Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Father Christmas, SinterKlaas, St. Nicholas, Dun Che Lao Ren, Kris Kringle? Secret Santa indeed…he needs many aliases, with all the break and enters; sure, he leaves gifts but also a lingering sense of unease.

  • Some poor child still sings about being traumatized when he saw his Mommy kissing ‘Santa Claus’ underneath the mistletoe one night; how about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, huh, whose reindeer? Take a wild guess.

  • Santa only works one day a year, while keeping elves slaving all year-long, to make toys, for which he takes the credit (and cookies).

  • Santa’s all ‘thank u, next’, he only cared about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer when he deemed Rudolph useful, not when the poor reindeer was bullied relentlessly (#BeBestSanta).

  • Only eight tiny reindeer? Really?!? For one cookie-stuffed man? Does that seem fair?

  • Santa leaves his reindeer out in the cold and snow while he goes into warm homes…and they say The Grinch treated Max poorly (he did/does!).

  • Elvis begged Santa to bring his ‘baby’ back to him…what other atrocities don’t we know about, is it just me or does Santa seem kinda, I dunno, elfish?

  • Santa tells children he’s watching them when they’re sleeping; knows if they’ve been bad or good. He browbeats children into behaving well, threatening to leave a toxic substance, a lump of coal, in their stocking – The Nice List, The Naughty List, more like The Blacklist.

What’s next, Santa?

  • Are you gonna lead The Sons of Santa motorcycle gang, Ho Ho SAMCRO?

  • Be President in The House of Christmas Cards?

  • Have a barbed wire baseball bat covered in with Christmas lights (P.S. You’ll poke your eye out with that thing; or someone else’s eye)?

  • Kill to sit on the Candy Cane Throne in the Game of Santa’s Village Thrones (you sit on a throne of lies)?

  • Go over to The Dark Side (they have Christmas cookies – Merry Sithmas!)?

  • Be known as He Who Must Not Be Named at The North PoleHarry Potter and The Half-Eaten Gingerbread Man?

  • Breaking Bad Santa?

  • Supernatural Santa?

  • Rescue Me from Santa’s tyranny…Hmmm, maybe Santa should be on The Naughty List.

  • Santa baby, c’mon please make it right this Christmas, or at least make it wrong and interesting.

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright and May All Your Dreams Take Flight!



Very me

138 thoughts on “Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

    1. I wish I could have stayed a child, at least in what I believed for longer, before I started to think, wait…hmmmm. lol 😉
      Hope this week is good to you, Mary and thanks for dropping by (and not using the chimney to do so). 🙂 🎅


    1. Thank you ever so much for the delightful reblog, I thought we could all use some fun, this time of year can get pretty intense. 😉
      Hope the week ahead treats you kindly. 🙂 Thanks again and again and again. 🙂 xox


    1. Thank you ever so much for the delightful reblog, I thought we could all use some fun, this time of year can get pretty intense. 😉
      Hope the week ahead treats you kindly. 🙂 Thanks again and again and again. 🙂 xox


    1. Ho Ho I see what you did there! Thanks dear Teagan, for putting a smile on my face. I think I might be on ‘The Dear Santa I Can Explain List’, but hey, life’s short, right? lol 😉
      Thanks for dropping by and thanks for being your-elf, dear friend.
      Mega Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses hugs xoxoxox


  1. Most of all, thank you for the black and white picture of the fit guy in the Santa hat (I’m sure I should know who he is but alas, I don’t). So much nicer than the fat, creepy old guy who comes down our chimneys every year with MORE garbage we usually don’t want. I’d be happy with the fit guy bringing me nothing but a smile. 😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Charlie Hunnam, played Jax on ‘Sons of Anarchy’ (and a bunch of other stuff, including but not limited to a delightful Nicholas Nickleby), oh and he’s British too so…yup. He’d be a fun alternative to housework. You’re welcome. lol 😉
      Wishing you comfort and joy and more Charlie. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s practically here! lol 😉
      Oh yes, all those red suits (with no sleeves) on red motorcycles – I think Norman Reedus and Jeffrey Dean Morgan should have guest appearances, oops, there goes my imagination again.
      Hope the week ahead is filled with joy, Jan!!! 🙂 xox


    1. To you as well, Erika, I like the simple things – especially the comfort and joy (and cookies) of Christmas!!! 😉
      Wishing you a wonderful week and all the best for the holiday season and all the year through!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember the old days before I was so cynical and I was able to take things at face value.I miss them but they’re only for children it seems.Instead I’ve grown hopeful that maybe the world will stop fighting with itself and let a little love in it’s heart (one reason I think all politicians should be women- the peacemakers). I’m going to be very good this Christmas Donna, and as the song says I’m saving all my love for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Children are so lucky, they get to see things as they seem instead of what they are, a rare gift, for such a short time.
      We need some love actually and kindness and what better time than Christmas when love is all around – if only we could keep that all the year through. 🙂
      Happy Christmas dear David, peace and love from this side of The Pond
      Massive Christmas is all around hugs xoxoxoxox


  3. LOL What is this an Elf hunt?? Oh deer, everything is being dissected and bi-sected and Santa should be included. ( i never did like the idea of someone knowing if I am sleeping or not) means you are being watched. Depending on your view it can just adds to his mystique/ or not. Have a wonderful week an thanks for the fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Could be an Elf Hoax. 😉
      Santa’s, what, a sleep lab, hey, I don’t want to be watched, sleeping or otherwise. lol 😉
      Thank you and hope the rest of the week treats you kindly. 🙂


  4. There’s so much about this Santa fella that doesn’t stack up, you’re right Donna. He flies everywhere without getting his flight plans sorted and goodness knows how many airforces are scrambled(or even fried or poached) as a result. He wears rubber boots like he knows the toxicity of reindeer urine yet there’s never a pic of him with a pooper-scoop. People go on about his twinkly eyes but do they consider the heightened hypnotism risk? He seems like he’s some sort of charitable gifter but at what cost to those who have to pick up there bills? And as for any sign of a diversity programme… well, if you’re female or black or transgender or disabled or skinny or a pognophobe or hate the colour red, then you’ve no chance. Your campaign needs our full support. Merry Christmas

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Thank you, dear Ian, not just for the fantastic reblog but the wonderful words to go along with it. I can’t say how much I appreciate it all, just know that I do. Hope this weekend is treating you kindly and the week ahead is filled with peace and joy. Big bloggy hugs xoxo


    1. Wow! Thank you, dear Ian, not just for the fantastic reblog but the wonderful words to go along with it. I can’t say how much i appreciate it all, just know that I do. Hope this weekend is treating you kindly and the week ahead is filled with peace and joy. Big bloggy hugs xoxo


    1. The honest line? It wasn’t political, it was about morality, honesty, and truth, I don’t count those as political. Christmas isn’t safe when immoral and illegal actions are afoot, I’m afraid. Thanks for the reblog, hope this week brings you peace, comfort, and joy. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I sometimes think most people in this community take snide swipes at Trump—most times, it is true but most don’t bother to hide the disdain. But there is a world of evil out there…and we don’t need—as you say—politics to find it! 🙂


  5. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is a permanent resident of Santa’s naught list, the splendidly snarky D. Parker of Darcy peppers her witticisms with colorful fonts and gifs galore (not “gifts”–that’s jolly old You-Know-Who’s department), so if the other blogs you follow are restful and easy on your eyes, bring them eyes here to wake them up again!

    Warning: Expect to chuckle, lol, and occasionally even snort cocoa (or other holiday beverage of choice) out of your nose (or other dual-chambered proboscis of choice).


    1. I can’t say thank you enough for this reblog and the astonishingly wonderful intro, Mitch, this is an early Christmas gift, thank you!!! And the cool comments. Wow!!! I’m beyond thrilled, thank you all! Happy Holidays to you and yours and all the best in 2019!!! 🙂 Big bloggy hugs xox


  6. Very clever! Thanks to Mitch Teemley for sending me here. Santa,hmm, he’s fun and I love Elf and the old Christmas movies, especially Christmas Vacation and Home Alone and even Dickens Christmas Carol . But in practice I’m an old fuddy-duddy Christian who believes Jesus is better than Santa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mitch is awesome and the reblog he did and the intro was astonishingly wonderful. So glad you found me, the internet is like a trail of breadcrumbs, isn’t it, the only way to find each other. 🙂
      I believe that whatever we believe, as long as it comes from the heart and a good place, a place of loving and giving and kindness, then we should keep Christmas in our hearts all the year through. Thank you for dropping by and I hope this week is treating you kindly. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you kindly for this delightful reblog, Danny.
      I thought we could all use a few laughs. 😉
      Hope this weekend is treating you well, so far and Happy Holidays!!!
      Big bloggy hugs xoxo


    1. Thank you kindly. 🙂
      I think the best of the world is our differences, we all offer different things which certainly makes the blogging community unique and brilliant! 🙂
      Hope this week is treating you well. 🙂


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