Tag: Ariana Grande

Posted in Christmas

Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, shopping, or a Christmas tree – could we unblur the lines between good and bad? Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is less celebration of Black Hats (or Red Hats with Fur Trim), more celebration of White Hats (and cookies, definitely cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We cheer for serial killers, drug lords, mobsters; glamorize celebrities and corporate fat cats – I hear they can even become President.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We’re allegedly repulsed by the violence, greed, self-absorption yet…we’re mesmerized.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Look at Santa. Or should I say: Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Father Christmas, SinterKlaas, St. Nicholas, Dun Che Lao Ren, Kris Kringle? Secret Santa indeed…he needs many aliases, with all the break and enters; sure, he leaves gifts but also a lingering sense of unease.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Some poor child still sings about being traumatized when he saw his Mommy kissing ‘Santa Claus’ underneath the mistletoe one night; how about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, huh, whose reindeer? Take a wild guess.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa only works one day a year, while keeping elves slaving all year-long, to make toys, for which he takes the credit (and cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa’s all ‘thank u, next’, he only cared about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer when he deemed Rudolph useful, not when the poor reindeer was bullied relentlessly (#BeBestSanta).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Only eight tiny reindeer? Really?!? For one cookie-stuffed man? Does that seem fair?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa leaves his reindeer out in the cold and snow while he goes into warm homes…and they say The Grinch treated Max poorly (he did/does!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Elvis begged Santa to bring his ‘baby’ back to him…what other atrocities don’t we know about, is it just me or does Santa seem kinda, I dunno, elfish?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa tells children he’s watching them when they’re sleeping; knows if they’ve been bad or good. He browbeats children into behaving well, threatening to leave a toxic substance, a lump of coal, in their stocking – The Nice List, The Naughty List, more like The Blacklist.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

What’s next, Santa?

  • Are you gonna lead The Sons of Santa motorcycle gang, Ho Ho SAMCRO?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be President in The House of Christmas Cards?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Have a barbed wire baseball bat covered in with Christmas lights (P.S. You’ll poke your eye out with that thing; or someone else’s eye)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Kill to sit on the Candy Cane Throne in the Game of Santa’s Village Thrones (you sit on a throne of lies)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Go over to The Dark Side (they have Christmas cookies – Merry Sithmas!)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be known as He Who Must Not Be Named at The North Pole…Harry Potter and The Half-Eaten Gingerbread Man?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Breaking Bad Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Supernatural Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Rescue Me from Santa’s tyranny…Hmmm, maybe Santa should be on The Naughty List.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa baby, c’mon please make it right this Christmas, or at least make it wrong and interesting.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright and May All Your Dreams https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/ Take Flight!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

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Posted in Canada, Christmas, Environment, Holidays, Political, Uncategorized

Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

Posted on by D. Parker

“This is Anna Bjo1elves15rgman, reporting from The North Pole where it appears protesters from The Occupy Movement have set up camp to Occupy The North Pole.” Shivering in her Canada Goose parka, the young woman bravely placed the microphone in front of one of the Occupiers, “Excuse me, why has The Occupy Movement decided to Occupy The North Pole this Christmas?”

A handsome young man flashed a smile that was whiter than the snow around him before answering, “Actually, the Occupy movement is so three years ago. We’re the Change The North Pole Movement, because we believe the climate up here needs to change!”

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Pushing his iPhone6 into the pocket of his Moncler parka, Christian continued, “Santa is a fat rich old white man who has his own town, slave labour, and only works one day a year!”

Christian paused to point to the various tents, barricades, signs, and a handful of protesters milling around the streets of The North Pole. “Santa’s the ultimate symbol of capitalism! He teaches children to be materialistic!”

A beautiful young woman holding two large Starbucks cups, smiled coyly as she handed Christian one of the steaming cup, “I got your fav, Christian, Double Tall Soy Latte,” Bianca crooned before turning a dazzling smile on the reporter. “We want human need, not corporate greed!”

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The reporter, slightly stunned by all the dazzling smiles, wondered where they’d managed to find a Starbucks at The North Pole and was momentarily at a loss for words. Recovering swiftly, she nodded at her cameraman Hans to follow her as she walked with the protesters toward Santa’s Workshop. “What is it you hope to accomplish by Occupying, er, Changing The North Pole?”1elves13

Christian took a sip of his latte, looking thoughtful before answering. “The income inequality and wealth distribution between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population is no more obvious than here at The North Pole. The elves are the 99%. We want to bring awareness that while Santa sits around smoking a pipe, getting fatter, and being jolly, there is social and economic inequality here and worldwide.”

Bianca stepped brashly forward. “We want people to think, to ask questions, not just blindly follow the Santa Laws!” She then gaily waved at another protester and quickly texted what looked like gibberish before continuing, “There is no better slave than a slave who doesn’t know he’s a slave. I think Bono or Ariana Grande said that and they were so right. People need to wake up! People need see what’s in front of them!”

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A frigid wind raged as the reporter watched the two young people start texting, knowing she’d lost the little attention they possessed. With strains of happy Christmas songs emanating from Santa’s Workshop and chants of We Are Changing the Climate of the North Pole! behind her, the reporter smiled weakly at the camera and threw it back to the station with a simple yet bemused, “This is Anna Bjorgman, umm, do you wanna build a snowman?”

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