Posted in Christmas

Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, shopping, or a Christmas tree – could we unblur the lines between good and bad? Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is less celebration of Black Hats (or Red Hats with Fur Trim), more celebration of White Hats (and cookies, definitely cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We cheer for serial killers, drug lords, mobsters; glamorize celebrities and corporate fat cats – I hear they can even become President.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We’re allegedly repulsed by the violence, greed, self-absorption yet…we’re mesmerized.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Look at Santa. Or should I say: Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Father Christmas, SinterKlaas, St. Nicholas, Dun Che Lao Ren, Kris Kringle? Secret Santa indeed…he needs many aliases, with all the break and enters; sure, he leaves gifts but also a lingering sense of unease.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Some poor child still sings about being traumatized when he saw his Mommy kissing ‘Santa Claus’ underneath the mistletoe one night; how about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, huh, whose reindeer? Take a wild guess.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa only works one day a year, while keeping elves slaving all year-long, to make toys, for which he takes the credit (and cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa’s all ‘thank u, next’, he only cared about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer when he deemed Rudolph useful, not when the poor reindeer was bullied relentlessly (#BeBestSanta).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Only eight tiny reindeer? Really?!? For one cookie-stuffed man? Does that seem fair?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa leaves his reindeer out in the cold and snow while he goes into warm homes…and they say The Grinch treated Max poorly (he did/does!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Elvis begged Santa to bring his ‘baby’ back to him…what other atrocities don’t we know about, is it just me or does Santa seem kinda, I dunno, elfish?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa tells children he’s watching them when they’re sleeping; knows if they’ve been bad or good. He browbeats children into behaving well, threatening to leave a toxic substance, a lump of coal, in their stocking – The Nice List, The Naughty List, more like The Blacklist.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

What’s next, Santa?

  • Are you gonna lead The Sons of Santa motorcycle gang, Ho Ho SAMCRO?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be President in The House of Christmas Cards?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Have a barbed wire baseball bat covered in with Christmas lights (P.S. You’ll poke your eye out with that thing; or someone else’s eye)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Kill to sit on the Candy Cane Throne in the Game of Santa’s Village Thrones (you sit on a throne of lies)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Go over to The Dark Side (they have Christmas cookies – Merry Sithmas!)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be known as He Who Must Not Be Named at The North PoleHarry Potter and The Half-Eaten Gingerbread Man?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Breaking Bad Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Supernatural Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Rescue Me from Santa’s tyranny…Hmmm, maybe Santa should be on The Naughty List.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa baby, c’mon please make it right this Christmas, or at least make it wrong and interesting.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright and May All Your Dreams https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/ Take Flight!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

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https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring, er, you find a rhyme…
I’m really not that witty.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Oops, don’t have a chimney, hmmm…
Oh well, Santa’s magic, right, so who cares?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
(your business what you’re doing there).
While visions of shopping malls danced
in their wallets and heads.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

I in my Soft Kitty PJs and the cat in the hat
Had just settled down to read,
maybe eat some cookies…
How about that?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed (sprang is a complete exaggeration),
To see what was the matter.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

It was just some drunk guy,
With his nose all aglow,
Shouting and singing,
‘Let it go, let it snow, let it go…’

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

The moral of this story is plain to see,
Please don’t sing outside my house
At Christmas, or any other time,
Even on key!!!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/11/27/twas-the-month-before-christmas-again/

‘Twas The Month Before #Christmas …Again

Posted in Chocolate, Christmas, Holidays, Political

Enhanced Christmas Infusion Techniques

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Evil wins when it destroys our belief in good. Santa knew that better than anyone, he specialized in good, he had a list for it. He also had a list for naughty and he was going to have to add to that list.

Santa grimly looked out the window, his white gloves absently touching the papers on his desk. He knew this report would forever change the way people viewed The North Pole and possibly Christmas.

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The CIA (Christmas Intensity Agency) could be a little overzealous in their protection and advancement of Christmas, but he hadn’t known or let himself think about the lengths they might have gone to in the War on Christmas.

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In their zeal to make people believe in Christmas the CIA had done unspeakable things. People had been forced to: untangle tree lights for hours on end; eat fruitcake, gumdrops, candy, candy corn, candy canes, cookies; watch hours of Christmas movies, even the made-for-TV ones; had been sleep-deprived so no visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; were syrupboarded; made to wear holiday cheer; stand on broken candy canes; endless Christmas songs, and even had their families threatened. Not to mention blowing a large portion of the Christmas budget and for what? The conclusion was clear, the Enhanced Christmas Infusion Techniques were not only sadistic and inhumane, but ineffective.

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Santa couldn’t understand what had caused the CIA to do such horrible things. He opened the book entitled, The Naughty List, picked up his pen and dipped it into the inkwell, shaking his head again in anger and disbelief, they’d never even asked if those people believed in Christmas.

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Evil only wins if it destroys our belief in good.

Posted in Christmas, Food, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

We are Santa’s elves

1elves11Unseasonably warm, it seemed a beautiful day to go for a long walk. Little did I know chaos had broken out at The North Pole. As I wandered off to do errands and go to the library, behind the scenes, disgruntled elves had declared war on Christmas! Tired of deplorable working conditions, the Elves went on strike.

Santa seemed bemused, telling the media, “I’ve spent more money on elves, especially Veteran elves than any other Santa in the history of Santas.”

The elves shot back with a list of demands.

“We’re tired of being pushed around!” Chief SpokesElf Snowball exclaimed. “We don’t have glamorous jobs like fighting to save Middle-earth, making cookies in trees, being a warrior in Hyrule, or saving Harry Potter, we just make toys!”

Other elves murmured their agreement.

“We love making toys, but day in and day out, it’s torture!” Snowball climbed up on a festive stool to point at the growing crowd of elves. “No one talks about the harassment we endure when we go into town, we can’t even walk down the street without hearing, Hey Sugarplum, or Twinkletoes, Peppermint Buns, Angel Ears, Sprinklepants.” Snowball sat down heavily on the stool, head in hands, as if unable to carry on.

Another elf patted Snowball on the back and continued, “We want to work, but we have to sing the whole time and some elves, I won’t mention any names, cough cough, Buddy, sing loud for all to hear, off key. And why does Santa’s Workshop have to be at The North Pole, why not Aruba or Belize?” Holly sighed and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. “We have a mandatory diet of cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, candy corn, do you know what all these gumdrops are doing to my diet?”

Cries of Here, Here! and One Two Three Four Eating Cookies is a Bore! rang through the workshop.

“We have to wear these outfits all the time,” Holly sighed, pointing down at her tacky elf outfit. “And now they’re loaning us out to sit on shelves, what’s with that?”1elves8

But while the elves were rallying, the reindeer escaped and went flying around the world, stuffing themselves on fast food and samples at Costco; getting liquored up before knocking down unsuspecting pedestrians. This is where I come in, one minute I was walking, the next I was on the ground, in the mud. The reindeer didn’t even stop, it kept talking on it’s cellphone, at least, I think it was a reindeer.

With only 19 sleeps before the Big Night, let’s hope Santa and the Elves can work this out.

Posted in Christmas, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET

christmas253I’m rarely a purist when it comes to films, I often love remakes, but for this one, the 1947 classic is it. There is nothing to compare.

christmas252Perhaps because of the amazing Maureen O’Hara

Or the incomparable Edmund Gwenn…

Or the precocious charm of a young Natalie Wood.

Whatever the reason, all others fade in comparison.

May I also be so bold as to suggest, even better in its original black and white

This is a movie to melt the heart of any cynic, well, maybe not, but it shows that believing in some good things is just as good as thinking you know everything.

Posted in Christmas, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

ROAD TO THE NORTH POLE

christmas243Let’s face it, you either love Family Guy or hate it, rarely is there an in between. Of course, some people that hate Family Guy have never even watched it.

Despite many Family Guy Christmas specials and references I really enjoyed The Road To The North Pole, for several reasons including but not limited to David Boreanez as the Aurora Borealis.

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Crude jokes aside there was a fairly deep message in this (as there often is about many things in Family Guy), about how over-consumption is killing Christmas…really it’s killing everything, including the planet.

People seem so caught up in growth and consumerism, they’ve bought into the lies.

I wonder what children would be more interested in:

A) Fresh air, less toxins, clean water, animals, trees, food, etc.

or

B) Yet another iPhone and/or vacation and/or toy and/or video game.

If the answer isn’t A we’ve messed up another generation.

If everyone slowed dowchristmas231n, even briefly, and realized that making corporations happy isn’t the answer…maybe Christmas and everything would mean a little bit more.

Hope you enjoy a simple, lovely Christmas.

Posted in Books, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Movies, Music, Parenting, Political, Televison, Uncategorized

War on Christmas

chrisstmas10There’s a War on Christmas? Using terms like Happy Holidays and Season’s Greetings suggest that Christmas is being attacked? Wow, I didn’t know Christmas was that insecure or vulnerable. Kind of makes a mockery out of the soldiers who fight in real wars.

I love Christmas. Especially what used to be the spirit of Christmas. People caring about others. Although that seems to have dimmed over the years. Now it’s about rushing and shopping and whining and complaining and First World Problems

Stores use terms like Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays to allegedly be inclusive. It’s really to extend the shopping period. The sustained commercialism has made for sustained greetings. To sell more.
Christmas decorations in malls, city streets, etc. up before Halloween, before Remembrance Day.
They blast Christmas music into stores for months.
Santa Claus parades block the streets.
More cars congest the streets and highways.
Christmas movies swarming the airwaves for 2-3 months per year.

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Others started using Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings to reflect the Christian holiday wasn’t the only religious or non-religious celebration this time of year. Wait, we wouldn’t want to include others in a time of giving.

What about people who don’t celebrate Christmas? Or those who don’t want it extended? Can you imagine Christmas if you weren’t Christian? Or maybe didn’t like Christmas? Or don’t have family and friends to celebrate with?
You can’t go to a store to get a pair of socks without crowds; blaring Christmas songs; people running around like it’s the zombie apocalypse (that might be more fun); low or no stock; and very harried store personnel.

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I suppose some believe the ‘Christ’ part of Christmas is being attacked. Times have changed, people seem to worship their cell phones more than Christ. And I doubt all the scandals that have rocked the various religions have helped.

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Does someone saying Happy Holidays offend you? Does it offend Christ? If you have a strong faith in something, don’t you believe despite the odds?
If you receive a Christmas card that says Season’s Greetings does it make the fact that someone bought a card, wrote in it, addressed it, sent it to you via snail mail mean less?

The term, War on Christmas was popularized by a FOX News host, that should tell you something. Politicians, pundits, celebrities, charities all exploit Christmas to further their agendas just as many corporations, stores, charities, churches, etc exploit it to make money. John Gibson was simply regurgitating the whining with his book, The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse than You Thought.

Yet Christmas is bigger than ever. Santa is still selling Coke. Jesus is still praised at midnight masses. The War On Christmas is failing. Commercialism is still going strong.

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If you want Christ in Christmas, he’s there.
If you want the Grinch in Christmas, he’s there. If you want to just enjoy the season…enjoy it.

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Looks like we’re stuck with Christmas three months a year and for me, it’s a bit much, but it doesn’t steal away my love of Christmas…but it does keep me away from shopping.

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