Posted in Christmas

Santa Should Be On The Naughty List

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents, shopping, or a Christmas tree – could we unblur the lines between good and bad? Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is less celebration of Black Hats (or Red Hats with Fur Trim), more celebration of White Hats (and cookies, definitely cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We cheer for serial killers, drug lords, mobsters; glamorize celebrities and corporate fat cats – I hear they can even become President.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/
We’re allegedly repulsed by the violence, greed, self-absorption yet…we’re mesmerized.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Look at Santa. Or should I say: Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Father Christmas, SinterKlaas, St. Nicholas, Dun Che Lao Ren, Kris Kringle? Secret Santa indeed…he needs many aliases, with all the break and enters; sure, he leaves gifts but also a lingering sense of unease.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Some poor child still sings about being traumatized when he saw his Mommy kissing ‘Santa Claus’ underneath the mistletoe one night; how about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, huh, whose reindeer? Take a wild guess.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa only works one day a year, while keeping elves slaving all year-long, to make toys, for which he takes the credit (and cookies).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa’s all ‘thank u, next’, he only cared about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer when he deemed Rudolph useful, not when the poor reindeer was bullied relentlessly (#BeBestSanta).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Only eight tiny reindeer? Really?!? For one cookie-stuffed man? Does that seem fair?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa leaves his reindeer out in the cold and snow while he goes into warm homes…and they say The Grinch treated Max poorly (he did/does!).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Elvis begged Santa to bring his ‘baby’ back to him…what other atrocities don’t we know about, is it just me or does Santa seem kinda, I dunno, elfish?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa tells children he’s watching them when they’re sleeping; knows if they’ve been bad or good. He browbeats children into behaving well, threatening to leave a toxic substance, a lump of coal, in their stocking – The Nice List, The Naughty List, more like The Blacklist.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

What’s next, Santa?

  • Are you gonna lead The Sons of Santa motorcycle gang, Ho Ho SAMCRO?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be President in The House of Christmas Cards?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Have a barbed wire baseball bat covered in with Christmas lights (P.S. You’ll poke your eye out with that thing; or someone else’s eye)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Kill to sit on the Candy Cane Throne in the Game of Santa’s Village Thrones (you sit on a throne of lies)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Go over to The Dark Side (they have Christmas cookies – Merry Sithmas!)?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Be known as He Who Must Not Be Named at The North PoleHarry Potter and The Half-Eaten Gingerbread Man?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Breaking Bad Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Supernatural Santa?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Rescue Me from Santa’s tyranny…Hmmm, maybe Santa should be on The Naughty List.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

  • Santa baby, c’mon please make it right this Christmas, or at least make it wrong and interesting.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright and May All Your Dreams https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/12/18/twice-upon-a-christmas-carol/ Take Flight!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/12/03/santa-should-be-on-the-naughty-list/

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Posted in Cats, Christmas, Cooking, Holidays

How To Get Away With Christmas

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/Christmas is a time of cheer…right?

Yet during the
holiday season
we’re bombarded
with images of
social wealth.

Everything from: Family dinners, parties, drinks with friends, hugging, skating in pairs, walking together looking at lights, Secret Santa and gift exchanges, spontaneous snowballs fights, eating roasted chestnuts, and of course, people running into the arms of loved ones at airports…

But what if those things aren’t in your life?
The social media holiday barrage, Christmas FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), anticipointment (trademark?), Facebook, Instagram, TV, Google+, Twitter, MySpace (kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention) – all bursting with shiny images of happy people enjoying the holidays together. It can be overwhelming yet it’s only a day, like any other.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

So if you find yourself less-than-surrounded by family and friends during the holidays, try to:

1. Marathon your way through the season, which apparently now begins in July with brief visits from other holidays. Don’t limit yourself to Christmassy stuff…be glad you’re not invited to a Game of Thrones Christmas party; see who survived (Christmas) on The Walking Dead; try to figure out what they’re cooking on Breaking Bad; or catch up with Mrs. Brown’s Boys (Dear Santa, I can explain…). Soon it will be January (sorry, I skipped ahead, was I wrong in assuming you don’t have anyone for New Year’s Eve either?), then you’ll have a few weeks to recover before the Valentine’s Day trauma begins, maybe.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

2. Gently ‘add’ yourself to someone else’s Christmas or add someone to yours.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
3. Find dating sites/apps and go on a holiday dating spree. Eggnog your way through stories about his/her ex, mom, ex’s mom, work, football, baseball, hockey, fashion, cars…Who knows, maybe you’ll find a Christmas miracle.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

4. Adjust your expectations. Social media is one long high school reunion. Everyone is wearing their best outfit, just lost weight, and sharing only highlights of their life.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
5. Read, write, blog, sing, bake, work, clean, declutter, exercise, sleep, go to a movie…flashback to the 70s – dance, wear turtlenecks, bellbottoms, ponchos, and go see Star Wars (or not). It’s all good.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/

6. Have a Single Christmas Party (not for singles, just you, be your own party).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
7. Ignore the season, the gaudy decorations, the commercialism, multiple Santas in multiple malls (unless you work there, try to stay out of the malls altogether) and create a Michael-Bublé-Bing-Crosby-Burl-Ives-free #safespace.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
8. Start a new tradition with yourself or others, hopefully one that doesn’t involve eating your feelings (and don’t forget legal).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
9. Help others this season – the best way to keep your mind off your problems is to help others with their problems.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
10. Under no circumstances drink too heavily, that could lead to calling, texting, or emailing an ex, or watching other people having family time, especially through their windows. Though oddly specific, it’s good advice.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/
It’s not about what you have, what you get, or even who you’re with, this season is about anything being possible.

Want to know how to get away with Christmas? Simple, enjoy the season and each day, not the way everyone tells you is enjoyable, but the way you enjoy it.

I triple dog dare you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/22/how-to-get-away-with-christmas/