Posted in kindness, Movies, Music, Televison

What If…?

Ever heard ’em say you gotta live like you’re dyin’?
I better get on, cause time’s a-flyin’, yeah

Lyin’ in my bed at night I’m thinkin’
What if? What if…?
Guess it’s not too late
This heart is still a-beatin’

Hate livin’ a “woulda shoulda coulda” life.
Can’t go back in time, no DeLorean, no TARDIS.
Gotta move forward, even through the endless strife.
What if, what if, what if is too big a miss
.

Maybe I gotta dream a bit bigger
Burn a bit brighter

Dig a bit deeper
Reach a bit further
Love a bit harder

Wanna go ahead with no what ifs.
Wanna move ahead with no what ifs
.

What if…?
Those two lit
tle words carry soooo much baggage…

  • Suitcases full of regret.
  • Carry-ons stuffed with yesterday’s woes.
  • Trunk of troubles.
  • Duffel bags filled with heads full of sorrow.
  • Portmanteau of problems.
  • Valise of grief.
  • Chest of contrition.
  • Gladstone bag of self-reproach.
  • Attache of shame.
  • Briefcase of emotional bruises.
  • Luggage of loss…
    What if, what if, fillin’ ’em up or toss them out?

Marvel asks the question, “What if…?” each week in their Disney+ series, “What if…?”, reminding us that one choice, one moment can change things forever…

Yet in this “golden” age of social media, instant gratification, and rushing, rushing, rushing (did I mention rushing?), we think less and less about how one moment, one choice can affect us and so many others. We get caught up in being heard, seen, being right, being busy, we forget to stop and think about others. It’s terrifying how little we think of how our choices affect others. Truly terrifying.

We forget the most important rule, do unto others…what you’re saying, what you’re doing affects not only you, but many others.

They say you gotta be brave, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser. But what if your bravery is hiding in the closet? What if your boldness is taking an extended vacation? What if your wisdom has been elected Mayor of Dumbtown?

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger.
What if you’re ooey and gooey? What if you’re as flimsy as a politician’s promise? What if you’re as weak as an adorable fluffy kitten without the adorable or fluffy parts?

You gotta be cool, but what if your brain feels like it’s on fire? You gotta be calm, what if your life is an F5 Tornado? You gotta stay together, but what if you’re shattering into a million little pieces?

Last month I broke up with myself (“Hey baby, are you a “Star Wars” sequel? Cause I never want to see you again“). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/

Before that I explained how i met your author (and maybe you should too), https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/

This month I’m trippin’ down the yellow brick road, tryin’ to find myself a brain, a heart, some courage, and a home. That “home” part may confuse those who know I just moved a couple of months ago. Yes, but sadly some aspects of my new home that would have helped me make an informed decision about moving into this torture chamber apartment, were, er, withheld. One of the biggest withholds, the icing on the crap cake…As of September 1st, new “neighbours”/post-secondary students (though I’ve called the entitled little blanks a whole lot of other names in the past few weeks). I’ve witnessed streaking and public urination…ugh. What else? Fights, extremely loud music (and not the good stuff), lack of social distancing, sharing red plastic cups, cigarettes, bottles…no masks, no brains, no hope. I weep for the future.

I’ve sadly had to cut back the activities of my support group, “Chronic Not Hopeless” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/, we’re suffering from terrible migraines, lack of sleep, anxiety, and so much more. This isn’t just a nuisance, it’s hurting our health. But what to do? Say F it and live in a shoe? Nope, instead, we’re moving…again.

Instead of finding peace of mind,
I’m backed into a corner,
talkin’ to myself,
cryin’ to myself at night.
Filled with regret.
Back and forth through my mind.
Feelin’ like I lost a cosmic bet.
And the feeling coming from
my bones says, “Find a home”…

I’ve sadly learned/relearned important lessons. 

1) People don’t always tell you everything you need to make an informed decision and that can cost, physically, emotionally and fiscally.

2) This pandemic was never about saving the elderly, flattening the curve, stopping the spread. It was never about masks or vaccines. Lost lives, lost jobs, lost homes, lost health, so much loss. All the sacrifice. All the heartache. All the trauma. All so people could party. 

When the world smashes down on you…When people lie to you, how do you believe again? What if we all just treated each other with decency? What if we thought about others? What if instead of arguing about masks, vaccines, race, religion, medications, elections (broken systems), celebrities, and so much more, why not agree to disagree and try to make life better instead of so much worse?

This blog post inspired by some of my usual things, aka: chocolate; family; friends; music – my mind is simply a never-ending playlist; tea, hot chocolate, tea and more tea; romance novels, mystery novels, any kind of novels and non-fiction, ok, let’s be honest, I’d read the side of a cereal box – me likey words!); “The Walking Dead”, “Fear The Walking Dead”, “The Walking Dead: World Beyond” (I sense a pattern here but what oh what could it be?); sooo many documentaries; “Murder She Baked”, er and Wrote; “Mystery 101”; “McDonald and Dodds”; computers…anyone looking forward to the new “Downton Abbey” movie? And added to my unusual brainwaves:

Marvel’s “What If…?”, of course;
“Only Murders in the Building” (Star/Disney+)-
if you enjoy a good mystery, this one is full of
“what ifs” and “whodunits” – enjoyable performances
by Steve Martin, Martin Short, Selena Gomez with
guest appearances by Sting and Tina Fey;
entitled brats; kindness (we need more, more, more);
hidden traps; rain (what if we blame it on the rain?);
pumpkins;

And yet more, um, stimulus? Matthew West; Des’ree; Queen, White Stripes; “Cruella” (Emma Stone and Emma Thompson are awesome but the movie itself, sigh, way too long, probably like this post);

What else inspired this post besides
emptying my brain, er, I mean, “ER”…Generally really good,
lots of great stars
and would-be stars.

And I might be wrong but I think maybe I
could do some mediciney-type stuff now, it
seems to mostly involve saying things like:
“Get me a crash cart!”, “Crits are down!”,
“Are you my appendix? Because I feel like I should take you out.”,
“Pulse ox is stable!”, “Coding” (so much coding),
“I should take your temperature because you’re looking really hot!”,
“I’d specialize in you anyday…”,
“She’s getting tachy!”
(or was that Real Housewives?),
“You look a little down, maybe you need a a shot of Vitamin ME!”,

“I can’t wait to sleep cause ICU in my dreams every night”,
ok, wait, most of those are just me thinking of George Clooney,
Noah Wyle and Goran Višnjić
, umm, gulp, nevermind;

And still more…
“Roswell: New Mexico”;
“Secrets of Skinwalker Ranch”;
and wow, “The Suicide Squad” – 2021, with the help of James Gunn, DC finally got it right. “The Suicide Squad” is an R-rated cousin of The Guardians of the Galaxy, um, on crack? Margot Robbie rules as Harley Quinn aka Daddy’s Little Monster with fun/surreal bits from: Nathan Fillion, Peter Capaldi, John Cena, Sylvester Stallone (“Nom nom?”), Pete Davidson, Idris Elba, Daniela Melchior, Michael Rooker, David Dastmalchian, Taika Waititi, Sean Gunn, and the weasel (also Sean Gunn).

And of course, what always inspires, ice cream,
way too much ice cream
(is that a thing, way too much ice cream?);

Some other things that wandered into my life…
“Midnight Mass” (Netflix) –Mike Flanagan nods to Stephen King – in a “what if” wonderful mind mess, with a great soundtrack. “Midnight Mass”, “Haunting of Hill House”, “Haunting of Bly Manor”, “Hush“, etc., hmmm, I wonder if being born in Salem, Massachusetts influenced Flanagan to create and direct his horrors.
..


I took another bite out of the “Santa Clarita Diet”; thankful Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant make the undead so delightfully delicious.

And cookies, they never fail to motivate me, how about you?

I like to think people, books, TV shows, movies, etc. come upon you not when you need them, but when you can find something in them you need. For me, “The Starling” contained this message: some things are out of our control. I knew this, of course I knew this, yet sometimes I need to be reminded of certain things. Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Kevin Kline, Timothy Olyphant, Daveed Diggs, Skylar Gisondo, Loretta Devine don’t disappoint in this intense, with moments of levity, but to be sure, intense, dramedy. The subject matter, grief, is a very personal and should be treated with care. Why not treat everyone with care?

My biggest inspiraton? Autumn/Fall, my favourite season: Halloween, Thanksgiving, pumpkins (except pumpkin spice, I’m gonna say it, don’t like it, can we still be friends? I support your pumpkin spice love, if that helps); the crisp air and even crisper apples; the gorgeous ever-changing leaf show; soft sweaters; softer throw blankets; comfortable walks…

Happy Autumn and have a great fall…

Posted in Blogs, Fibromyalgia, kindness, social media

Head Over Heels

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/I wanted to be  with you alone
(on the internet?).
And talk about the weather
(What is the deal with the weather?
Pick a season, stay with it til the next one).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/
But traditions can’t be traced
(or can they, again, the internet).
We get tricked when
we only stick with our base.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/Nothing keeps our attention…
We’re lost in admiration,
could we need it this much?Oh, is it wasting time?
Just, just, just wasting time.
Something happens and
we’re head over heels.
We never find out till
we’re head over heels…

  • We ‘humans’ fall head over heels quickly, with: people, pets, passions, movies, books, songs (I’m still on a Tears For Fears kick although The Cars too, goodbye Ric Ocasek, you were just what we needed), politicians, celebrities, television shows, smartphones and other electronic gadgets and gizmos, cars, causes, friends, fads, flights of fancy…oops1

And when we fall out of love, look out, love can quickly turn to hate (and shouldn’t continue to date, not great).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/                                                                   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/29/next-time-you-bring-the-cookies/                              https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/23/f-is-for-fibromyalgia/

and migraines (latest treatment, painful and tiring, but seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the very long, very dark tunnel, oooh, hope it’s not just another train);and writing (trying) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/.

I still love my readers, other bloggers, but sometimes I wish I knew how to quit you (or me, or WordPress, or the internet).

  • I’ve fallen hard for another Australian series (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ or is that just gravity talking?), this time, “The Heart Guy” aka “Doctor Doctor”. A brilliant bad boy cardiac surgeon gets sent home, as a punishment, to practice medicine in his hometown, Whyhope. Naturally, things get complicated fast. Rodger Corser (In “Glitch” as well, S3 is about to crawl out of the ground soon) may play the lead, Dr. Hugh Knight but his cast-mates are bright shining lights cutting into any and all plans. Why hope? Why not? Another season has been approved and I’m cheering. Yahoo! For Canadians this dramedy reminds me a bit of “Corner Gas” with more actual drama and for the U.S., like “Seinfeld” but with less New York snark and more Down Under snark.

  • Bewitched by de-cluttering and minimalizing (is that even a word, seriously, it should be…) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/

  • I’ve got one of cupids arrows stuck deep in my heart (could explain chest pains, besides the Tietze Syndrome) for writing and reading then writing some more. Will I ever be an author, a real live published author, as many of my talented fellow bloggers are, as so many writers are, who knows, but it’s fun slow blogging and writing the world’s best novels…in my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/07/can-you-feel-the-blog-love-tonight/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/23/if-i-could-save-time-in-a-blog-bottle/

  • Captivated with “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Thank you to the parents of Margaret Atwood and Elisabeth Moss for giving us such gifts. It’s funny to think I first read this book almost 35 years ago, when I naively thought it was fiction and thank goodness this could never happen. Note to self, never say never. If you haven’t started reading one of Canada’s most precious natural resources, Margaret Atwood, I suggest you love yourself enough to begin your journey. I’ll continue with her latest, “The Testaments”, filled with hints of things to come. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/

  • Infatuated with the idea that all the mysteries of Area 51 could be revealed to the world on September 20, 2019 #theycantstopusall #stormarea51The Truth is Out There or more likely, anything interesting has already been moved to, er, Area 51-A or Area 52? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/

love36

kittens, kindness, ice cream, cozy sweaters, Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/10/26/the-more-the-scarier/

Thanksgiving
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/ ,

smiles (smile cookies), cake, curry, kindness, pumpkin spice, chocolate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/30/you-live-you-die-in-between-theres-chocolate/ ,

sunsets, puppies, pizza (note the coma, grammar saves lives, in this case, adorable puppy lives), Downton Abbey, The Addams Family, ancestry, kindness, songs https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/ , friends, a new love (who doesn’t have to but if he looked like Negan, Starlord or Daryl Dixon that would be cool, just as completely random examples), muffins, laughter, strawberries, donuts, chocolate, chocolate donuts, kindness, cupcakes, family, and oh yeah, to write another chapter in my own story.Why suffer from FOMO, you’ll never miss out if you embrace the glorious chaos of life (every day above ground is another chance) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

  • Beguiled by apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian anything (“anything” may be hyperbole, but that’s how things work now, right, facts begone, trouble us no more with your truthiness!),

“The Walking Dead” S10 is soon-ish https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-will-rule/            https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/11/why-zombies-wont-rule/        https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/21/zombies-on-sesame-street/

I’m caught up on “The 100” (“May we meet again”); I miss “Colony”, “Helix”, “Falling Skies”, “Z Nation”, “Extant”, “Ascension”, “Revolution”, “V”, “iZombie”…but mostly I miss when watching/reading about this stuff was wildly fictional. But I guess, like horror, it’s a safe way to examine our fears without admitting they’re coming true. This is how we live now.

  • Enraptured by the final season of “Game of Thrones” (finally caught up with a free preview month). As a fan, little disappointed, as a writer, loved it, so I’m going with the latter.

                             https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/07/you-know-youre-obsessed-with-game-of-thrones-when/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/05/03/very-me/

maybe we’ll magically return to the 80s, which we have glamourized to the point of insanity (‘stranger things’ have happened, but keeping remembering neon and big hair) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/As long as you keep falling head over heels with life (just avoid the drama pitfalls https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/ ), your story is bound to be a bestseller https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

  • What are you head over heels about, dear readers, tell me, tell me, cause I need more to love (my heart and mind are like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside).

  • Ways to contact me (on my home planet)

    darcyyada@gmail.com

time14

  • Please send me stuff to review…Despite the Ads Ruining My Posts, I’m Not Getting Paid A Cent by WordPress…I gratefully accept promotional materials, but respectfully reserve the right to decide whether said promotional material is suitable for my blog. 100% honest reviews and the opinions, thoughts, and beliefs will be my own, not that of the provider, party, or manufacturer.

  • Donations to help save the endangered broke and obscure bloggers who once roamed the internet free are appreciated…it’s Paypal, for anyone including, but not limited to eccentric millionaires who want to adopt a blogger.

  • P.S.  WordPress is greedily inserting ads into posts and holding our blogs hostage if we don’t pay the ransom to remove the malware (aka ads), I don’t get a single dime from them…

  • Follow me here, but in a completely non-stalkery way please: https://yadadarcyyada.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/09/18/head-over-heels/

And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding? 

– Elvis Costello

Posted in halloween, Movies, Televison

The Glorious Chaos

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, the wheels of the train mocked me as I tried to play Risk on a mobile device – is it just me or are mobile devices a conspiracy by a secret order of Masonic Ophthamologists trying to destroy the vision of everyone, making them need eyeglasses, contacts and even eye surgery? Time will tell. Leaving Toronto aka The Glorious Chaos as my brother aptly named it, I paused to think of the large, cosmopolitan city  – wild, weird, at times, woolly, but wonderful as well. The Glorious Chaos is actually a suitable description of life. Sadly, those with Autism, like my son, experience Toronto and life itself differently. To him, it’s loud, smelly, bright, and crowded. To him, it’s overwhelming, scary, just generally creepy. But he has to live in the real world – whatever that means these days, so when my son is in a ‘good place’ (not The Good Place, a new comedy with Ted Danson and Kristen Bell, funny but hardly seems sustainable), I try to do things with him, a kind of sensory diet.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/After a lovely visit with my brilliant and funny family (I’m biased, but they’re actually as I describe), we headed home, watching Summer’s bright promise fade, the quilt of Autumn cover the land, nestling under our chins as we snuggle into Winter. At no time of the year is chaos more clear than Fall, Thanksgiving, and Halloween https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/28/monster-meet-and-greet-mash/  – especially Halloween, the most confusing holiday of all.

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Children dress up, ignore their parents’ warnings (with encouragement) not to talk to strangers and instead go out in the dark to the homes of hundreds of strangers, begging for food. Adults also get in on the action, partying hard, many even wearing sexy costumes – angel, devil, nurse, vampire, ninja, cat, ninja cat, Frozen, Harley Quinn, Kylo Ren, Ken Bone, really, any ol’ Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter (oh yes, I borrowed and read J.K. Rowling/Jack Thorne/John Tiffany’s Harry Potter and The Cursed Child, no spoilers, but it had Harry Potter and a cursed child, shhh, you didn’t hear it from me; they did manage to slide Robert Pattinson from Twilight fame in there too – how convenient) and Hunger Games  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/ I guess they’re hoping for one night of the year, Cialis Doesn’t Live Here Anymore?

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And nothing says Halloween (other than mini chocolate bars begging to be eaten) more than strange, spooky viewing, what should it be this year? The Addams Family https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/20/hide-and-shriek-with-the-addams-family/

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It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/29/stuff-i-learned-from-its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown/ and https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/19/religion-politics-and-the-great-pumpkin/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

Twilight Zone, Z Nation, The X-Files https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/20/the-truth-is-still-out-there-2/  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/26/exs-and-ohs/  The Rocky Horror Picture Show https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/the-rocky-horror-picture-show/

1halloween16

The Walking Dead (can you keep your eyes open for ‘it’?), Pet Sematary, The Munsters https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/21/my-fair-munster/ 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

Practical Magic (the true magic is family and friends), Bewitched, Army of Darkness, Goosebumps, The Nightmare Before Christmas https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/19/the-nightmare-before-christmas/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

Dracula, Young Frankenstein  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/28/young-frankenstein-2/, Halloweentown (was there any need to make more than one?), Simpsons Treehouse of Horror

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

Arsenic and Old Lace https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/arsenic-and-old-lace/, Friday the 13th https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/13/its-friday-the-13th-do-you-know-where-your-serial-killer-is/, The Shining…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

Scooby Doo https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/31/the-mysterious-world-of-scooby-doo/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/22/all-the-ways-im-told-im-stupid-everyday/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/09/i-miss-saturday-morning-cartoons/ 

sd9

Beetlejuice https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/beetlejuice/, Casper, Edward Scissorhands https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/31/edward-scissorhands/ 

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/29/buffy-the-vampire-slayer/,  Lost https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/25/lost/, Halloween – sigh, quit looking back, he’s still there – run! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

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Aaaah, Thanksgiving (No turkey soup for you!!!), food coma aside (I even tried to avoid those little pushers at the mall – sure, they call themselves Girl Guides or Girl Scouts, they’re cute, but we know what they really are  – you try to say no to cookies!), Thanksgiving should be everyday, a time to remember to be thankful – hopefully we know to be thankful for the right things. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/13/thankful-i-know-enough-to-be-thankful/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/
Still, there are some things I know for certain:

1. Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder…if you want salt on your floor and shoulder.

2. With everyone texting and driving, for my part I welcome self-driving, computer cars – at least they won’t give me the finger (or will they?).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

3. You don’t have the right to touch anyone without their permission…ever, did I mention ever?

4. Crossing paths with a black cat is dangerous…unless they’re doing something adorable, which is likely.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

5. Pumpkin Spice it if you got it.

6. Make friends with the truth – it might be your best friend when no one else is.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/
7. Make decisions about people on their words and actions not their race, religion, country, political affiliations, sexual orientation, size, etc.

8. Comfortable shoes and chocolate are human rights, right?

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9. Non-orange pumpkins used to seem weird, but lately orange things are scaring me.

10. Adam Lindsay Gordon got it right: “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.”

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/

11. Kiss my grits is making more sense to me every single day…

12. Fear is more contagious than any disease and stronger than any army.

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13. Remembering, looking back, glamorizing the past – it seems better, more fun, easier, but maybe, just maybe, complicated and different doesn’t have to mean bad – exercise your brain, it’ll look better in yoga pants.

Oh and of course, show love whenever you can. Enjoy The Glorious Chaos.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/10/14/the-glorious-chaos/