Posted in Canada, COVID-19, Fibromyalgia, Star Wars

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…(you know you have to clap now, do it, just do it!).

Your job’s (bet Guaranteed Basic Income doesn’t look so “Commie” now huh?) now a stay-at-home-joke, you’re more-or-less broke…


Your love life’s “virtually” D.O.A.


It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear (if you remember how to drive).


When it hasn’t been your minute, your hour, your day, your week, your month
Or even your year (Any 2020 hindsight advice?).

But I’ll be here for you (in my home)
When the rain starts to pour


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
Even if we weren’t “FRIENDS” before


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
‘Cause you’re probably here for me too (in your home
)

You’re still in bed, or the tub, or the tub is now your bed, at ten (AM, PM, who knows these days?).

And for many, “essential” work (less work if people could listen/read/try) never seems to stop…

Your breakfast might be lunch or dinner (those can all be chocolate during a pandemic, right?), then again, who the Hell knows or cares?

Things are going great, if you’re counting the number of swears…

Your mother (Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, especially my Mom  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/09/happy-mothers-day-i-just-ate-your-gift/   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ ) warned you there’d be days like these (not weeks or months), but she didn’t tell you all this could really happen, seriously, this is for real…

it seems surreal, but yup, happening:

 We’d be streaming incessantly (beyond Netflix, YouTube and Amazon Prime). I’ve been testing all the “Free Trials” of streaming services, I’ve tried: “Acorn TV”, “Disney+”, “Crave/HBO/TMN”, “Britbox”, and heading toward “Apple TV”, “National Geographic”, “Smithsonian”, and “Shudder” – who knows how far I’ll get, drinking my tea, watching me some “free”…

Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).

We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.

Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).

Trying to learn languages. For me, I’m trying to learn the important stuff first, for example: “Spero tu stia passando una bella giornata miei adorati lettori, avete pasta per me? “(“I hope you are having a nice day my beloved readers, do you have pasta for me?”); Ich brauche Kuchen” (“I need cake”); “¿Donde estan las galletas?” (“Where are the cookies?”); “Je veux de la pizza” (“I want pizza”)…just some essential phrases.

Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).

We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):

  • Coronavirus

  • COVID-19

  • SARS-CoV-2

  • Physical/social distancing

  • R0/reproductive rate

  • Drug repurposing

  • Viral shedding

  • Flattening/flatten the curve

  • Planking/plank the curve

  • Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)

  • Contact tracing

  • Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)

  • Community transmission/spread

  • Fomite

  • Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)

  • Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)

  • Nasopharyngeal swabs

  • Oropharyngeal swabs (updates from Dr. Fauci, Dr. Tam, Dr. Birx and others are like watching police dramas, they all talk about swabs a lot, “Did you get the swabs?”, “I got the swabs”, “Did you need another swab?”, “What do ya mean we’re out of swabs? Get more swabs!”, “We need billions of swabs!”. Police shows and pandemics, brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, but that’s a whole other story https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/18/this-is-not-a-toy/)

  • PPE (personal protective equipment)

ACE-2 is a gateway receptor (who knows what it will lead to?).

Be comforted by bedtime stories from: Dolly Parton, David Tennant, Oprah, Stephen Fry, Betty White, Rami Malek, James McAvoy, Sarah Silverman, Chris Pine, Kristen Bell, Tom Hardy – ooooh, can he read them in Bane (he was so ahead of his time, he worse a mask, quarantined a city and cancelled all events, including sports) or Venom voices too, please?

And James Earl Jones – seriously, Darth Vader reads me to sleep, “May The Fourth Be With You” and Beware the “Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth” and too much spicy food on Cinco de Mayo could cause Revenge of the Shi…well, you know, moderation, ok?.

So much crushing on Andrew Cuomo, so many Cuomosexuals…

Worrying about Murder Hornets, really, who came up with that name, at least make it alliterative, how about “Homicide Hornets” or “Horror Hornets”? Like this: “Slaughter Slugs”, “Maiming Moths”, “Assassin Ants”, “Snuff Snails”…

Getting slightly ever so bored with: baking (getting too warm now anyway); is there enough testing, not enough testing (it’s making me testy);

Zoomfail hashtags (don’t you wish you’d bought shares in Zoom?); “Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo”, kidding, who could ever get tired of that?,

people arguing about “Mandela Effect” online, hmmm, or maybe that never happened.

Making masks, cleaning masks, remembering to bring your masks, remembering not to wear a hockey mask to the grocery store…so many things to remember, what was I talking about again?

Being on video, seriously, before all this I hated going on camera or video, now it’s, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Zoom, no, no, not that close!”.

People actually listening to someone that lies incessantly, slurs their words, and suggests we could kill COVID-19 by injecting disinfectant into the body and/or UV light, no buddy, why are you like this, why are you the way you are?

That we’d be staying so much: “Stay Home”, “Stay Safe”, “Stay Connected”, “Stay At Home”, “Stay Healthy”, Sit/”Stay”/Roll Over, “Stay in place”, “Stay trippy dude”, “Stay the course”, “Stay fresh” (seriously, you need to shower even if you’re isolated alone)…

I can easily imagine self-isolation has lead to re-enacting musicals with Star Wars action figures, Muppets and/or hand shadows, I’m sure someone somewhere is doing this (please, please, please send me links).

That our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (Canada rules!) would tell us the things, the things he knows that stop you from “speaking moistly” (oh baby, speak moistly to me)…

 I’ll be here for you
When the someone knocks on your door (gasp!)
I’ll be here for you
When you’re dreaming Obama is still POTUS


I’ll be here for you

‘Cause you’re here for me too (on Zoom?)

No one could ever know me (cause I’m wearing a mask)
No one could ever see me (cause I’m doing a flask task at home)


Seems now more people know
What it’s like to be…chronically me?


Someone to Facetime (Skype/Zoom/Messenger, text, call, whatever) the day with.


Make it through Quarantine Life (only going out for necessities of life, I don’t know about toilet paper, but donuts count, right?) with…


Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah

I’ll be here for you
When the sun starts to shine


I’ll be here for you
When for the great outdoors we pine…


I’ll be here for you
‘Cause we’re (patiently?) waiting for a sign

I’ll be here for you (speaking moistly)


I’ll be here for you (singing: Andrea Bocelli; Ultravox; Ramones; Ed Sheeran; Elton John; Cher (if we could turn back time); Green Day – don’t wannabe an, well, you-know-what;

Foo Fighters; Nivana; The Beatles – “Don’t Come Together”, “We All Live in Self-Quarantine”;

U2, The Police “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/14/dont-stand-so-close-to-me/

and Queen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/, and so many more, all totally, totally, totally in tune).


I’ll be here for you (sissying my quarantine fashion, picture me rocking Mickey Mouse leggings, Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt, Paddington coat, and Nirvana baseball cap https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/03/17/im-still-standing-yeah-yeah-yeah/, strangely enough, no pictures, that I know of, while putting red ribbons on the trees to say “Thank You – no thanks are ever ever ever going to be enough for our essential workers, but you could start with simple steps: Be Kind, Stay Home, Wash Your Hands).


Hope you’re here for me too (but like, not here here, like, there but emotionally here, together but apart, but connected, so non-contagious virtual hugs and chats and tweets, comments, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, and all that, but over there while I’m over here, but we’ll both be there, well, here for each other…I’m confused. I need more simplicity https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressive-simplification/ What about you?).


 

Posted in Fibromyalgia, kindness

99 Problems and #Fibromyalgia Is All Of Them

Lazy. Crazy. Whiner.
Hypochondriac.
Attention-seeking.
All in your head.  
“Fibromyalgia is just another word for lazy.” yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/ 

And the classic, “But you don’t look sick”.
Feel free to add more.
I think I’ve heard them all…but you never know.

99 Problems and Fibromyalgia (Fibromialgia) is all of them…or at least it makes any problem much much much much worse.

I won’t bore you with all the symptoms:

  • Extreme, endless fatigue (I’ve never heard, “everyone gets tired”…sigh).

  • Extreme, endless all-over-body-pain 24/7/365 (“everyone has pain, especially as they get older” – how do you presume to know my pain or anyone else’s pain but yours?).

  • Dry eyes/mouth.

  • Hair loss.

  • IBS (Oh joy, love nothing more than talking about my bowels to doctors/family/friends/strangers/readers…”What did you want to be when you grow up?” “Constipated.”).

  • Dizziness.

  • Clumsiness.

  • Nausea.

  • Depression (tough not to be depressed by all this).

  • Sleep issues (screw off Alpha waves, no one wants you here).

  • Mood disorders (maybe my many, many moods are just as ordered as they should be).

  • Headaches/migraines.

  • Restless leg syndrome.

  • Anxiety (pick a kind, any kind).

  • Tender points (misnomer, not tender, excruciating, but trigger points make sense).

  • Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Memory and learning problems, like, aah, like, well, there’s Fibrofog (what was I saying?).

  • Scattered thoughts (dust in the wind, all my thoughts are dust in the wind).

  • Numbness.

  • Tingling (not the good kind).

  • Shakiness (not the good kind).

  • TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome).

  • Painful and frequent urination.

  • You may notice a pattern here, #Pain!

  • Sharp pain, stabbing pain, dull aching pain, burning pain, throbbing pain (Beavis and Butthead laugh for 5 minutes now about “throbbing”).

  • Extreme sensitivity to: light, noise, sounds, smells, temperatures, humidity, dryness, changes in the weather (especially extreme heat or cold, fun in Canada, eh).

  • Also, to tastes, textures (Princess and the Pea was written about someone with Fibromyalia, for sure).

  • Stiffness (not the fun kind).;

  • Especially morning stiffness (not the fun kind).

  • Let’s not forget Allodynia.

  • Itching (like, bugs-under-your-skin-when-jonesing-kind-of-itching, er, for chocolate, my drug of choice).

  • Waking up feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck or attacked by a Terminator or zombie (brains?) – We are The Walking Dead.

  • And don’t even get me started on surviving the Holidaze, er, holidays – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Black Friday (it’s counted as a holiday now, right?), actually I can do CyberMonday, and they’re lined up to take me out for Valentine’s Day


I could go on and on (really), but you get the point.

It sucks.

Chronic suckage.

What can anyone do to try to help chronic suckage? 
  • Pills/medications (anti this, anti that, pro this, pro that, SSRIs, SNRIs, NSAIDs, PB&J – checking if you were still paying attention, lotions, notions, rubs, gels – not the fun kind – vitamins, supplements, opioids, snake oil, gargoyle oil, and on and on).

  • Exercise.

  • Natural remedies.

  • Injections.

  • Yoga.

  • Meditation.

  • Deep breathing (keep breathing).

  • Tai Chi (saved my life).

  • Change of diet (I do FODMAP, look it up, you’ll hate it).

  • Massage (no happy endings).

  • Physical therapy.

  • Rest/relaxation/Self-Care.

  • CBT, CBD, CBC, CBA, COD…

  • Trials.

  • Errors.

It’s all just fleeting moments of feeling almost human.

And if all wasn’t bad enough, many people assume this invisible disability is and let’s see if I have this right, a conspiracy wherein the medical profession has effectively implemented a fake syndrome just to cater to lazy people (wasn’t that nice of them?). Perfectly reasonable, it’s not as if doctors have anything better to do. Or have reputations and licenses to protect. Or have ethics. What exactly would their motivation be? Why make up an illness, aren’t there already enough? Cancer alone should keep them hopping.

There are many health issues that can not be found through standardized testing, for example: Multiple Sclerosis, ALS, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson’s, Autism, Lupus, ADD/ADHD, wheat or gluten ‘sensitivity’, acute back pain, as well as many mental health issues. So they don’t suffer, don’t feel – it’s all some magical conspiracy…

People like to mock. I get that. It’s become a past-time, even a job for some people, especially in the internet age. I also get those same people would want/expect doctors and people to believe them if they were ill, even if there was no standardized testing for their illness.

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance or stupidity yet either, but I’d buy stocks for that booming business.

I didn’t ask to be ill. Given the choice I’d be “normal”. I certainly didn’t ask to be mocked and harassed because I’m ill. Even if it was just ‘in my head’, shouldn’t anyone with a health issue be treated with dignity and respect? Maybe we need a standardized test for intolerance.

So how do I cope with ongoing agonizing pain, debilitating fatigue and all the other heaping piles of steaming sh*t that comes with Fibromyalgia aka chronic suckage? If you’re a reader of my blog you know, I think laughter is the best medicine. Laughing even if it hurts sometimes still makes me feel better. I go to a happy place like Psych or George Carlin, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office and more. Tons of laughter a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, but it gives me some quality of life.

For example, this was one of my Tweets last week, “When I see a thong in a store all I think is, how would I explain to #EMTs all my multiple injuries were caused by just trying on a thong. Huh. #ThatsHot #thongs“. @yadadarcyyada 

I love to share the laughter. If I can make someone smile, laugh, giggle, chortle, spew liquid from their nose, then hey, I feel better. Treatments, medications, family, friends and finding a community that gets you, that understands when you have to cancel plans (again)…

Or you can’t remember, ummm, can’t remember, er, huh…and the only good thing you can say about your day is you’re “above ground”, well, anyway.

Glad there are people around who understand, including but not limited to: the-words-are-not-enough-to-describe-how-wonderful-they-are-Fibromyalgia London Group (FLG) #FibromyalgiaLondonGroup #FLG, also for those with CFS, ME, chronic pain, etc. I’ve even tried to knit (What?!? Please note the word, “tried”).

Reunited with a fantastic friend from college (we’d lost touch when the dinosaurs died), and get this, we started going to the same Fibro group on the same day, from different cities. I don’t know what they call that, fate, destiny, providence, kismet, but I call it cool and lucky.

Finding ways to help myself by helping others.

I am so sure you can see my chocolate-covered fingerprints all over their blog, fibrolondongroup.ca And hey, we’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram @fmlondongroup

The thing is, people are just people – no matter how rich or poor; sick (this is an equal opportunity destroyer) or well; all sizes, shapes and shades; known or unknown – you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t give people a chance. Some will let you down, disappoint, hurt your brain, your heart, your body, but they’re oddly beneficial, they help us appreciate the good ones even more.

Get out there, in person, online, by phone, text, email, do stuff, I don’t know, play cards, smile, knit, donate (give what you can, including your time and talents), bowl, cuddle, talk, sign, sing, walk, dance, embrace your crapathy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/25/crapathy/ ,

swim, skate, scuba (gate?), especially smile at children, jog, blog, snog (probably not at the same time unless you’re uber talented), ignore, don’t keep score it’s a bore, read, write, compose, doodle, paint, play, bike, hike, “Like”, bake (me a cake? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/09/16/you-had-me-at-cake/),

listen, learn, love, add to the world, be part of the solution, go out with friends, care, share, spend time with family, get to know people, smile some more (and more and more and more)!!!

Be kind, be thoughtful, be compassionate https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/20/compassion-never-goes-out-of-style/

Consider others, let your mind soar. I can’t say you won’t ever be sorry, some folks are baffling, but on a whole, you’ll be better for it (and they will be too).

Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me (although compassion and empathy are always welcome), just a reminder that everyone has problems, 99 or less, 99 or more, just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there…so don’t be one of those problems.

 

Posted in social media, Televison

Death By Demographics

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/“You don’t stop
laughing when
you grow old,
you grow old
when you stop
laughing.”
– George
Bernard
Shaw

There isn’t as much laughter as there used to be,
no, I’m completely wrong, there’s just as much, if not more laughter, it just seems less jovial, less fun, more jeering, sneering, mocking; less of a tonic, more of a poison. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/
We’re in the middle of a Civil War, without the cool uniforms, just about as many guns, more antibiotics and opioids, but with the same unfortunate emphasis on uncivil. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/I don’t think this will change anytime soon. But in the whimsical winsome wisdom of the surprisingly philosophical show, Blossom:
“Don’t know about the future, that’s anybody’s guess
Ain’t no good reason for getting all depressed
Buy up your pad and pencil, I’ll give you a piece of my mind
In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine”
(make sure you have sunglasses).
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/“Opinionation” is right on – nations fueled by opinion and connected by the internet. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/19/the-internet-has-spoken/ Many feel out of control (without even the illusion of control), and have inaccurately begun to believe our opinions are truth, that feelings are facts while desperately trying to process more information in a day than we used to get in 10 years…is it any wonder we’re clinging to numbers, theories, gossip, polls, conjunction, speculation, sensationalism.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/The song, “Murder by Numbers” by The Police keeps popping into my head; or Suicide By Numbers, we’re letting demographics kill our sense of self and poor common sense on a slab somewhere, waiting for the autopsy. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Statistical characteristics of human populations, such as age or income, could be used to find out who needs shelter, food, medical attention, instead it’s used mostly to identify markets to sell sell sell (did I mention to sell?). It adds to the distraction and the ‘us versus them’ mentality that is tearing us apart.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Death By Demographics  is also the title of the final episode of Murder She Wrote, not unironically was cancelled in 1996, due in part to demographics and Angela Lansbury’s boredom after 12 years of playing Jessica Fletcher, either the smartest woman ever or a serial killer who pins crimes on others. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/It was a time of strange, supernatural, and youth: Friends (How you doin’?) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/09/28/we-were-on-a-break/, The X-Files (The Truth Is Out There? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/10/26/my-big-fat-supernatural-life/), https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/ 7th Heaven, The Unabomber was captured, so many were doing the Macarena (and badly), there were heroes and zeroes, Independence Day, Spice Girls (oh no, now I’m humming “Wannabe”), 3rd Rock From The Sun,https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/ Tupac died (or did he?), ER, talking about the Superbowl (so much has changed…), Tickle Me Elmo – good thing Fifty Shades (ummm, Happy Valentine’s Day???) wasn’t out then, folks would have lined up to buy Tie Me Up and Tickle Me Elmo https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/12/fifteen-shades-of-valentines-day/ , Seinfeld (What is the deal with that?)…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Demographics feed our fear and anger. Our fear of missing out (FOMO https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/08/is-everyone-hanging-out-without-me/    https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/01/06/im-not-inclined-to-resign-to-maturity/), and our fear/anger of not getting enough or what we “deserve”. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Social media is the master class of demographics, people mindlessly drooling over videos, pictures, stories –  a viral version of gossip and tabloids, oozing out of your laptop, tablet, desktop, and/or phone.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Numbers are definitely the ruling class. The nobles send out the knights to hack our brains, find out what scares us, what tempts us and there it is, ready to by.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Even blogging has become all about the numbers, instead of connection. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/02/02/theres-no-crying-in-blogging/https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Numbers are important, but letting them dictate who we are, what we are, what we do, you have to show some caution. Choices should be made with information, knowledge, facts…anyone remember those?https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/Maybe I’m just looking for answers where there are more questions, I shouldn’t blame numbers, they’re just hanging around, building the universe, what we do with them isn’t their fault; maybe they could even help us remember we’re all in this life together. We’re all in this life together (oops, there goes my Groundhog Day again https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/02/02/groundhog-day/). So stay warm, eat some pancakes https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/, find out how many weeks of winter are left, love, and keep laughing, but not at each other.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/01/29/death-by-demographics/

Posted in Books, Chocolate, Family, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

In My Life I Loved Them All

1funny629Of
lovers
and
friends
I still
can
recall.
Some
are
dead
and
some are living…
In my life I loved them all.
~The BeaTles

Why do we love when it hurts so much to lose those we love?
How would you answer this question, dear readers?
My answer is as simple and as complex as love itself.
I don’t know for sure, but I think because it feels so amazing to love and be loved, also, we need each other and love connects in a way that nothing else can.

1funny632

Love and loss haunt me these days.
I decided reading would offer it’s usual distraction.
As I read Love, Rosie aka Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern (Hachette Books), I felt like I was watching a long Friends episode.
Beyond wanting to swat the characters for being such annoying goofs, I was left with a nagging feeling about love and communication and their places in the modern world.

Lily Collins in Love, Rosie
This book and movie adaptation wouldn’t have happened if the two main characters even once had a simple, honest conversation. There, end of book and they lived more or less happily ever after.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? We can communicate each moment of every day in multiple ways, yet our communication skills seem to be deteriorating. Does non-stop communication help if we’re not telling each other what we really need to know?
Ahern also wrote P.S. I Love You, a funny and poignant book, with the beautiful lesson of going on when you’re ready to go on, how you’re ready to go on, after any kind of loss, but I still liked the movie better – I blame Harry Connick Jr.

1funny637

I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it. There’s also: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Gerard Butler, and James Marsters. Oops, I’m sorry book, probably should have read you before I saw the movie. The characters didn’t give me what I wanted, I didn’t feel a sincerity or connection, or maybe I was expecting too much.

1love4

Love comes into our lives in many ways, family, friends, lovers, partners; to fill, enrich, challenge, sustain, nurture, embrace, excite, thrill, comfort, cherish, and support us.
It also leaves in many ways.
How can love continue to breathe when it’s viciously torn away, crushed, betrayed, taken for granted, withdrawn, or ignored?
Because it once was and in some way, somewhere, will always be.
I lost someone I love very much yesterday.
I really can’t imagine a world without…but I must.
Gone from this world, but forever in my heart.

1funny627

Which weirdly leads me to Week 4 of my Changes/Happiness Project. I wanted to fall in love again with life, and despite the loss life has repeatedly pummeled me with, I want to keep loving. Here are the first 3 weeks of challenges, if you wish to follow along, or just read about it.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/15/rock-me-amadeus/

Week 4 (has it really been that long?):

1. Decide on 5 things I’d love to do today and just do them (within the limits of time, budget, circumstances, etc.)

2. New bedtime routine: think of 5 things that went well or I was grateful for today and 5 things to hope for, in days ahead.

3. Write down 10 things I want to change, but think I can’t…try to change them.

4. Avoid the cake stalking me. You give cake a bad name. It’s the power of cake. You’d think that people would have had enough of silly cake songs… Don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

1funny589

5. Reduce stimuli (mental and physical).

6. Remove a 100 calories per day (chocolate, I still love you, but there’s going to be a shortage of you soon and we have to get used to being apart…ok, that’s long enough.)

7. Construction begins on our street. Allow some time each day to admire the workers…work.

1funny69

So why do we love when it hurts so much to lose people?
You don’t turn down the greatest gift in the world just because you can’t keep it forever.

Posted in Family, Uncategorized

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

1age16

The worst part
 about growing old,
surprisingly,
isn’t:
Wrinkles – although watching your face
become a road map to your final destination isn’t pleasant;
Creaking joints/aches and pains –
maybe shouldn’t have done that.
Learning more than you ever wanted
to learn about some people – sigh.
Losing your nouns, keys, and even memories –
although, frustrating.
The worst part is loss.
Some experience loss early and often through life,1funny65
others face the inevitable and unenviable state of loss
through time.

After losing someone you start thinking about your life
and like most people, I have some regrets.

I regret not seeing a friend was really an enemy
And an enemy was really a friend
I regret harsh words spoken
Cuts that will never mend
I regret not doing what I wanted to do
And doing what I did not want
I regret not being stronger
For being frail when I should have fought
I regret worrying about little things
That only mattered in my head
I regret thinking I knew it all
Using sarcasm to cover pain
I regret turning away from love found
Not recognizing love given
Doing too much
Doing too little
But these are backwards
And do not overwhelm
The smiles I was given
The smiles I received
The love that I treasure
Compassion given
And accepted
Hope lost and recovered
Happiness collected
All invaluable1age14

Posted in Family, Uncategorized

Goodbye Dearest Friend

Yesterday I woke up to different world.
That happens every day, but some days,
some days the changes are horrible.
My best friend of almost 30 years passed away two nights ago.
Rose was sweet, funny, kind, brave, beautiful,
stubborn, strong, talented,
just a wonderful person.
She was always cool, not just cool,
but never judging or cruel.

scan0009Here are some pictures of Rose (in the pink she’s dressed for Halloween giving me the what, more pictures look – as much as Rose loved taking pictures she didn’t like having them taken of her; I feel the same).
The others are of her and I in photo booths (remember those, the original selfies). We were young and always did the same pose, I’m in the front, trying to look sophisticated and she’s trying to hide from the camera…I think, who knows, it was a long time ago.

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Images courtesy: D. Parker and a photo booth

We had some wild times together.
We had long talks and laughs.
We shared our love of music and fun.
She was Godmother to my son.
Always there, always wonderful.
I can’t imagine a world without Rose.
Though my heart is aching,
she will remain there
because she’ll always be my best friend.
I was very lucky to have known her, as was anyone who knew her.

Those who touch our hearts, stay in them forever. Goodbye Rose, sister-in-my-heart,
I hope you’ve gone to rock’n’roll heaven!

I woke up this morning thinking it had all been a bad dream. Then the pain hit me hard enough to almost knock me off my feet.
These are the days I wish I had a time machine to go back,
to change things, to just have more time with those I’ve lost.

Death seems pointless, but it brings things into sharp focus for those left behind. Or it should. It shows clearly what is important and even more so, what isn’t important. We shouldn’t spend time on petty things, narcissism, fear, worry, and hate. We should be loving, giving, caring, and worry less about the material things, they can all be replaced…people cannot.

“Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,
Courage in your own.”
~Adam Lindsay Gordon

Posted in Blogs, Family, Uncategorized, Weight

Revenge of the Nouns

1age11As I age (totally gracefully, of course), I notice an ever-growing Pros and Cons List accumulating in my brain.

I’ve also notice one side of the list is getting much longer than the other.

The Pros (or what we gain as we get older):
Experience
Wisdom
Friends
Family
Knowledge
Cynicism
Wrinkles
Habits
Humour
Weight
Hormones
Self-confidence
Happiness
More candles on your birthday cake

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The Cons (or what we lose as we get older):
Keys and other stuff  – although I prefer to think of them as ‘in a safe place’, er, somewhere
Hair – it’s ok, it just migrates to your nose, ears and chin
Friends
Family
Hormones
Elasticity
Happiness
Ability to ignore distractions
Cells and stem cells lose their luster
Self-confidence
The battle with gravity
Nouns – this one is mysterious, you find yourself able to describe the noun in great detail – the thing you wear, in the winter, to keep warm, two sleeves, zippers up…yet somehow in all that, the word ‘coat’ eludes you. It works somewhat better in writing.

Some things make both lists.

Is there anything some of my more ‘age-enabled’ readers have noticed they’ve gained or lost?

1age6

To me, age is just a number, one that we should be proud of as it gets higher, hint, hint, it means we’re still living.

Is it sad that society worships youth? Definitely, age has so much to offer, even more if you can enjoy the distinctive and sometimes amusing parts of aging.

The truth is, we’re all happier or sadder at different points in our lives for different reasons. Enjoy each moment, as many as there are.

I’ve got to go, to watch that show, where the guy asks the questions. You know, you have to answer in a question form. It’s been on a long time. I’m sure I’ll do really well, answering the, you know, thingies.

1age13

Posted in Family, Internet, Political, Uncategorized, Weight

So You’ve Ruined Your Life…Now What?

So You Ruined Your Life...Now What?You ruined my life!
My life is ruined!
They’re ruining my life!
People use the word ruin a lot,
I do not think it means
what they think it means.
Your life can be altered,
sometimes in extremely
negative ways,
perhaps even
screwed up royally,
but your life
can’t be ruined…
technically.

So what if you:

1. Shared a picture, tweet, post, status update etc. that has offended, disturbed, cost you a job, relationship, friendship, and/or caused massive backlash? Learn from it. People are complex, multidimensional, social media tends to be flat, a moment frozen in time which you have no idea how people are viewing or why, what their filter is, what their life experiences are, etc. It’s so easy to offend on social media, if I haven’t done so already, keep reading, odds are someone will be offended by this.

2. Stayed too long and put too much into trying to save a toxic relationship, whether with a partner, friend, family member? ‘Bad’ relationships can lead to low self-esteem, depression, resentment, fatigue – a waste of time and energy. You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, that isn’t just in poker.

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3. Ate too much over the holidays? Spent too much over the holidays? Exercised too little? No use beating yourself up, accept responsibility and change.

4. Fell in love and fell hard…with stuff. It’s easy to do, shopping in stores, online, it’s exciting, it’s cool, it’s fun, everyone praises and envies your stuff; like any addiction you can choose what you feed it. Is the gratification worth the consequences?

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5. Believed things you heard or read or watched. We’ve all done it, but there’s a lot of bad or just plain wrong information, especially on the internet. Take things with a hefty truckload of salt.

6. Been complacent. You hoped governments and corporations had your best interests at heart. They don’t. They should. But they don’t.

1ashock10

7. Forgot gratitude and took things for granted. I’m sure we’ve all done this, you get comfortable with people, things and you forget – they can all disappear. It’s so easy to accept, expect, and forget to be thankful. Broken record here, but learn from it.

8. Worried too much about what you say or do. Being yourself is so last year and what if you offend someone or they don’t like something you said or did? You can’t please everyone, so unless you’re hurting someone, this too shall pass. If they don’t like you when you’re really you, move on.

1ablog15

9. Gave up on dreams, decided to settle? It may not be too late, at least to have a modified version of those dreams. Keep trying.

10. You’ve fallen and you stayed there…There’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, get up, dust off, you’re back!

1blog49

Posted in Books, Family, Holidays, Uncategorized

Thankful I know enough to be thankful

thanks5

Here in Canada we have Thanksgiving in October, weeks before Halloween…go figure.

A few things I know and things I’m thankful for, including but not limited to:

1. Happiness can be…a smile, a furry friend, snowflakes dancing against the darkness, absorbing books, family, friends, a movie that makes you laugh and cry, a TV show where you can’t wait for the next episode, a cozy bed, chocolate melting on your tongue, a slow dance, walking in the Fall and more.

2. Those who believe in fate or faith should never look both ways or check an expiry date.

3. Fear is more contagious than any disease and stronger than an army.

4. People make choices. How you feel about those choices or the consequences has little or no bearing. Really.

5. The Earth will still be here in one form or another after we’re gone.1thanks106. Everyone has their own window on the world, with it’s own screen. You can’t make someone see through your screen and it’s impossible to see through theirs.

7. You can’t walk away from yourself the way you walk away from other people. If you’re going to stay, play nice.

8. Truth can be painful and can take you places you may not wish to go. Go anyway.

9. Even the most basic beliefs about reality aren’t true alone, our thinking makes them true in our experience. Hopefully this isn’t true about zombies.

10. We forget. Our mind is designed to remember and to forget, but too often we forget when someone has been there for us or not. Don’t forget.

1thanks6

I’m thankful my son makes me laugh and vice versa.
Thankful for family, friends, and virtual friends.
Thankful for things that keep my weary mind amused.
Thankful for what I’ve had, what I’ve lost, what I might have.
Thankful I know enough to be thankful.

 

Posted in Books, Doctor Who, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth

1darth21

 Icebergs, henchmen, Fight Club, The Walking Dead, Friends, Twilight, Dora The Explorer, Jurassic Park, The Superbowl, Beastie Boys, Star Trek, Disney, The Grinch, Seinfeld, X-Files, B-52’s, Twilight Zone, Elton John, NASA, Harry Potter, Kurt Cobain, War Horse – no one is safe from John Moe’s satirical pop culture whimsical correspondence, and I’m so glad.

1darth18This book Dear Luke, We need to Talk. Dad Darth and other Pop Culture correspondences by John Moe (Three Rivers Press/Penguin) is hilarious, a remarkable, one might even say, noteworthy poke at pop culture. I love to laugh and when I saw the title on http://www.bloggingforbooks.org I knew I was going to have fun.

Some of my favs include, Bruce: A Shark’s Journal, which had me in giggles, especially the June 14 entry where Bruce fell off the wagon. Some of you may remember the eating issues Bruce had in Finding Nemo, now have that go Jaws.

1shark10
Also, a letter from the Pea1darth17nuts gang teacher regarding the lack of adults in Charlie Brown and his friends’ lives; also, how grateful she is to have a job considering her speech issues.

An explanation of what happened to Agents 001 through 006.

All of Jay Z’s 99 Problems.

Concerns about the overall direction the Doctor Who franchise is taking.

A letter to the island on Lost on how to promote tourism there.

1darth27Saul Hudson (Slash from Guns’N’Roses) as a Heavy Metal Editor, explaining to Axl Rose why Sweet Child O’Mine isn’t going to be a hit.

CIA 1darth111report from Agent Gilligan from the Island ProjectGilligan’s Island goes to a dark place on April 21, 1973 when they ate The Howells (It was time)…

A Welp! review of Cheers, Rick’s Café, Bronto Burgers, Overlook Hotel, Bates Motel, etc. A funnier version of Yelp!, not just people whining about the their First World Problems with restaurants, here’s a hint, you can afford to go to restaurants.

Correspondence between Batman’s producer and Neal Hefti the writer of the 1966 Batman theme; this money man versus artist exchange pits artistic integrity against commercialism which explains why the theme ended up being, you know, Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Batman! and so on.

1bat20 Muppet Studios Casting Office where we find out some of the reasons certain Muppets could not be included…

1darth15

An Oral History of Pac-Man Ghosts (I think Inky had it the toughest). Wocka wocka wocka.

And some dysfunctionally tasty drink recipes from Mad Men:

Drapertini

4 ounces gin
1 ounce vermouth
3 olives
5 tears that I never shed as a boy

Shake, stir, then pour down the sink because those days can never return.

1darth19Draper Manhattan

2 ounces bourbon
1 ounce vermouth
2 ounces of aromatic bitters
3 dashes of bitterness about my own need to hurt everyone who loves me
2 scrapes of the grime from that apartment I had after Betty and I split
1 maraschino cherry
Pour contents over ice into a glass, catch a distorted reflection in the ice for a moment, and wonder who you are or who anyone is really, sit in chair.

There, it’ll all be ok now.

1darth20

Posted in Televison, Uncategorized

Community

community1

This is probably the most underrated show on TV today, maybe ever. I really don’t know a lot of people who watch it. It stays on year after year so some must.

There are so many comunnity4amazing episodes of Community I don’t know if I could say there’s a best. Based on a group of people that apparently are going to go to community college longer than the passengers of The Minnow were stranded on an island, like every other TV show, movie, or book it’s really all about the friendships, relationships, and issues between the people.

There are some even more amazing than others if that’s possible: Cooperative Calligraphy, Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas, Modern Warfare, Intro To Knots, Anthropology 101, Analysis of Cork-Based Networking, A Fistful of Paintballs (Parts 1 & 2), Basic Human Anatomy, Comparative Religion, Conventions of Time and Space and of course, Pascal’s Triangle Revisited to name a few. App Development and Condiments with the Meow Meow Beenz test was so brilliant it almost hurt.

Amazing guest stars including: Betty White, John Oliver, Malcolm McDowell, Nathan Fillion, Taran Killam, Michael Ironside, Vince Gilligan, Chris Elliot, Tricia Helfer, Luke Perry, Jason Alexander, Luke Youngblood, French Stewart, Andy Dick, Giancarlo Esposito, John Goodman, LeVar Burton, Drew Carey, and Josh Holloway.

Who doesn’t wait to see what Abed (Danny Pudi) will say or do next? I don’t think they’ve ever specifically said he has Aspergers Syndrome, but it’s discussed and implied many times, kind of like Sheldon (Jim Parsons) from Big Bang Theory.

I miss Chevy Chase of course, always.

community2

And Ken Jeong (Chang) is mind-bending.community8This show is so clever in so many ways it’s almost incomprehensibly clever. The dialogue, the plots, it should be ridiculous instead it’s ridiculously hilarious and thought-provoking. It has a particular niche I suppose, after all, the meta-jokes don’t stop, and it’s essentially a walking pop culture reference, a vehicle to toy with TV and movies clichés and truisms. Not like a ton of other shows don’t use tropes, meta-humour, and pop culture references: Family Guy, America Dad, South Park, Friends, X-Filecommunity7s, M*A*S*H, 30 Rock, Seinfeld, Night Court, SNL, Lost, Once Upon A Time, Buffy, Revolution and so many more. It’s a tried and true method of connecting with viewers of various ages. The tricky part becomes the squandering or gorging of those tools. I think Community has a good balance.

Laden with stereotypes this show is all about the links that we find with others and how strong or tenuous those links can be.

So I guess you either think this is one of the best shows ever or you haven’t seen it yet.comunnity6