It’s never easy to say goodbye. Ok, that’s not true, sometimes it’s super easy to say goodbye, in fact, you wished could’ve said goodbye much, much earlier. You’re with someone, they’re annoying you, but it’s impolite to leave, or you feel you should or have to stay. Or when you’re at a party, function, event, etc. and some guests are driving you up a wall. There are times when you’re screaming goodbye in your head, measuring how many steps it would take to get to the door, or wondering if anyone will notice if you were to dive out of the window, full-on Die Hard – hmm, was that what Shakespeare was picturing when he said, ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow, wait to jump out that window till the morrow’? Something like that.
We love to tell stories, we’re natural born storytellers. Over 7 billion of us on the planet, telling our stories. So many stories. While we’re telling those stories, or hearing those stories, we’re not going to agree on everything all the time or be pleased all the time, but could we put all the hate, bullying, vitriol, name-calling, hyperbole, lies, persecution, injustice on the shelf? Maybe we could strive to disagree respectfully. There are many ways to tell stories, from many perspectives.
A long-awaited specialist appointment (now waiting for more, er, stuff and trying new, er, stuff) opened and reopened my eyes. No worries, it’s not fatal, to the best of my knowledge, it just feels like it’s killing me…
1) I need to take a break and focus on my health.
2) I need to write, not just blog posts, but my book, and maybe try to make more money to pay for my dirty habit…to clarify, it’s my chocolate habit, but it can be dirty; dark chocolate especially leaves terrible stains and smears everywhere.
3) It’s with a heavy heart that I write This Is Where I Leave You…actually, I didn’t write that, Jonathan Tropper did and it was delightfully flawed, if a little clever-clever, but I appreciate the exertion. Plots and characters somewhat transparent yet quite engaging. His authentically muddled and intriguingly idiosyncratic style keeps me reading. Hollywood made a valiant attempt to adequately adapt it to the screen with: Tina Fey (SNL, Mean Girls, 30 Rock, Spongebob Squarepants, Simpsons, Sisters, Muppets, etc.), Jason Bateman (Arrested Development, Zootopia, Juno, Paul, Little House on the Prairie, Knight Rider, etc.),
Adam Driver (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Girls, J. Edgar, Lincoln, The Unusuals, etc. ), Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood, Justified, Catch and Release, Live Free or Die Hard, The Mindy Project, The Office, Hitman, Call of Duty), Dax Shepard (Robot Chicken, Idiocracy, Parenthood, and endless odd Samsung commercials with wife, Kristen Bell who will always be Veronica Mars to me, also great in Deadwood), Jane Fonda (The Newsroom, Barbarella, On Golden Pond, Sunday in New York, Cat Ballou, Barefoot in the Park, The Butler, Georgia Rule, They Shoot Horses Don’t They, Klute, Coming Home, The China Syndrome, The Morning After, and you may know her from her activism and/or groovy exercise videos).
4) I might need to cut back on TV, way too many shows are just ads in disguise. ie. Ride with Norman Reedus should actually be titled: American Tourism, Ducati, BMW, Harley-Davidson, Honda, Indian, Kawasaki, KTM, Suzuki, Triumph, and Yamaha Pay For Ride with Norman Reedus. And it’s weird how he wanders around never opening his wallet, it’s like he’s still on The Walking Dead, I guess there’s no need for money during the zombie apocalypse – the Daryl Dixon Discount.
Gorgeous bikes, scenery, people (well, mostly), but obviously one long commercial. Don’t know if I’m now more or less inclined to be sad if Negan chooses Daryl. Just sayin’.
I’ll forgive AMC, after all, they also gave us: Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Talking Dead, Hell On Wheels, Mad Men, Fear The Walking Dead, Turn: Washington’s Spies, The American West, Into The Badlands, and now, Preacher, a gruesomely heartening supernatural tale of good vs evil, or more like good vs itself.
5) I need to find new ways to de-stress. Stress is everywhere these days. Even dogs and cats are under pressure to perform, and not just in endless and often demeaning internet videos, gifs, memes, etc. (see above, but how cute is that?); just look at their food – it has to be high in fiber, promote lean muscle, keep them at a healthy weight, all so they can be adorably frisky and playful, for our amusement. Amusement seems more important now than ever. We need to be constantly amused, entertained, busy. Is it a latent, twisted version of hunting and gathering, we now hunt and gather entertainment?
We even amuse ourselves with foodporn, I mean, food now…
6) I’m crushing on teacup pigs, some call them pocket pigs, or micro pigs, but I worry about their popularity, they could get bought up by someone like Bill Gates and we’ll have to buy endless crappy versions of them – Microsoft pigs.
7) I need to catch up on my reading. Numerous library books await my attention, with due dates, apparently some others have the nerve to want to use
my the public library.
Life is all about the journey, not the destination, and sometimes that journey takes you not where you meant to go but where you’re meant to be. Reading takes you anywhere you want to go and while some books may not change the world, they could change your world.
My books to review basket is also overflowing. I almost missed out on a great murder mystery, These Shallow Graves by Jennifer Donnelly in the bookflood https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1415718938 And I’ve enjoyed indie works – hidden treasures, like the ones previously mentioned here https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ and so many more. Luckily I can’t physically see the Netgalley books unless I log on, so I’m pretending I forgot my password (psssh, I know you remember your password). Books have many purposes: entertainment, distraction, learning, companionship, dreaming, but really, like pop culture they’re a way of examining life, a form of philosophy. Long time readers of this blog know I have an ongoing love affair with books, including Open Court’s …and Philosophy series, but there are so many of them, how can I read and review them all? I can’t, but I sure can try. If not on here, then on Goodreads. ie. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1677400824
8) I wish The Newsroom (stunning cast of: Jeff Daniels, Sam Waterston, Emily Mortimer, Jane Fonda, Alison Pill, John Gallagher, Jr., Thomas Sadoski, Dev Patel, Olivia Munn, Marcia Gay Harden, Chris Messina, Kat Dennings, David Harbour, Hope Davis, Kelen Coleman, Grace Gummer, Constance Zimmer, B. J. Novak, etc.) was still on and that more people watched it.
Aaron Sorkin is a master at presenting all sides of, well, everything, logically, rationally, especially politics. We need more of that. Smart, well-balanced writing. To me, Sorkin is the ultimate optimist, an anti-cynic, after all, who else would keep monologuing, writing epic, inspiring speeches and broadcasting them in the hopes he’s actually reaching people, not just cleverly preaching to the converted.
9) So…Politics…That happened. I feel all Alice Through The Looking Glass, what if it’s all a dream? Maybe I went through a mirror, fell down a rabbit hole, opened a door, magically traveled through a wall to Platform 9 3/4, opened a portal, a Stargate, a paratime machine, a window, a crack? I keep hoping I’m in some alternate reality, some parallel Universe and I’ll wake up. Are we BrainDead (funny show, but making me a tad paranoid of the ants that keep invading my place)? Have aliens taken over politicians? Naah, too obvious. As Alexander Hamilton said: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”? Hmmm, how about stand for something with even a hint of logic, intelligence, integrity, or sanity?
Donald Trump, #Brexit, bogus indignation, lies, corruption, murder, abuse, war, poverty, disease, starvation, terrorism (of course, we’ve always got a new foe, it’s important to keep us scared, worried, after all, we buy more that way). Imagine what we could accomplish if we focused on what mattered and would help all people, not just a select few.
It’s too easy to long for a simpler times. Watching Brooklyn (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/08/stand-by-me/) it seems like life was simpler, less complex, less contentious, and it’s true in many ways. But we can’t live in the past. Can’t go back. Can’t unring bells that have been rung. With technology ruling our lives, we have to find ways to somehow enjoy the benefits of here and now without being consumed and overwhelmed by the here and now.
As for Brooklyn the film? It’s a nicely unpretentious offering about the choices we make and those that are made for us. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement, Hanna, City of Ember, The Host, The Lovely Bones, The Grand Budapest Hotel https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/20/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/) is, as always, astonishing, With the depth of her performance you’d think she was 102 instead of 22; she expresses so much, so perfectly, sort of an anti-Kristen Stewart. Rounded out by the talented: Jim Broadbent (Harry Potter, Paddington, Bridget Jones’s Diary https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/19/bridget-joness-diary/ and a million others), Julie Walters (Calendar Girls, Harry Potter, Mama Mia!, Brave, and at least a million others), Emily Bett Rickards (Felicity Smoake in Arrow), Domhnall Gleeson (Star Wars: The Force Awakens https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/11/05/go-home-star-wars-youre-drunk/ Harry Potter, The Revenant, etc.
10) I’ve thought a lot about why the world more closely resembles the last days of Roman Empire and that line Gena Rowlands uses to chide/teach her moviedaughter, Sandra Bullock in the romcom Hope Floats, “It’s the worst kind of extravagance the way you spend your chances”. What if this applies to the whole world now? We need to stop spending our chances.
We need to stop settling. Stop lowering our expectations. Go out there, spend your chances wisely. We may live in a world supercharged by social media, where we dramatize each problem, instead of looking for solutions. Where gossip, blame, fighting, arguing, cool cynicism, magical thinking, phony outrage, lowest common denominator pandering, digital degrees of The Butter Battle Book, The Lorax, and The Cat in the Hat combined (Dr. Seuss would be so proud) rule the day. Where intelligence is mocked, sensationalism screams loudest, bits and soundbites of information, right or wrong, reign supreme. In fact, it would be really funny, if it wasn’t such a sad mess…
It doesn’t mean we have to buy into it. We can be more. Rise above. Care. Have character, loyalty, integrity, even if it’s not cool to do so. Choose courage. Choose love. Choose hope. Caveat emptor, lest we drown in the muck. You’ll find true power in being kind.
I write this with tears in my eyes and the words to Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) playing over and over in my head: “It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life.” I do, I hope you had the time of your life, I certainly did.
I can’t thank those of you who have supported me enough! Thanks for following, sharing, reblogging, commenting, visiting. I’m not ruling out coming back at some point, I’m just not well enough to continue now.
I’ll still visit my blogging family and friends regularly. Still take part in some parties, social media stuff, etc. Blogging is addictive. When you first do it, you feel like you’re standing naked (sorry for the visual), exposed, and then you start to love it. You have to silence your inner critic (she’s just jealous).
My posts stay here, so please, visit my vaults whenever you’d like, comment, share, I’ll still be here, after all, almost 3 years of blogging later there’s close to 600 posts, like these:
I’m not ruling out returning to this blog or another blog, or bookstores near you (she wrote wistfully). Some time away might recharge my batteries and I will regenerate (I could be the new Doctor in Doctor Who, I think it’s time for a female Doctor). Until then, so long and thanks for all the fish…come on, you think I’d leave without something to do with Douglas Adams, he’s at least partially responsible for my brain. I might be down now, but there’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I’ll get up, dust off, and be back, one way or another!
Stressed. Stressed out. Every day we hear how people are stressed out, exhausted, scattered, distracted, besieged, anxious, under pressure, just generally overwhelmed. Times haven’t changed, just magnified, still going in circles; instead of Keeping Up With The Joneses, we’re trying to Keep Up With The Kardashians.
Our Amygdala’s primary job is the processing of memory, emotional reactions, and decision-making, that’s a lot to handle, so she can get a little overstimulated. Her nanny, the Prefrontal Cortex is all like, whoa, slow down, Amy, you need a time out. But what if chronic stress has hacked PreCor, making it too weak to calm Amy down, stop her from some unrestrained Brains Gone Wild moments? As my fav song by The Tragically Hip says, we Blow At High Dough, that’s us, going too fast, burning up, burning out.
My growing, life-changing magic of apathy toward crap, a sort of crapathy, has me bored, yes, but also ashamed, ashamed of our frivolity, and at myself for being any part of it. I can’t change my hyper-awareness of all the crap, but I can change my perception, actions, and reactions.
Many experts, including renowned time researcher and sociologist, Professor John P. Robinson, known as Father Time, agree that not having enough time is actually an illusion, self-imposed, many people have more leisure time than ever before. https://socy.umd.edu/facultyprofile/Robinson/John%20P. Then why do we feel so overwhelmed? Maybe it’s all the things we’ve been sold to improve and simplify our lives. Really, why, when complicated means more money.
Growing up I wanted to be Nancy Drew…instead I was Donna Parker. Both outrageously ignored repeated and dire warnings while being fiercely loyal, generous, and independent. Both wore, gasp, dungarees.
My dungarees and detective cap on, I find my courage and follow the clues, to investigate what’s working in my life and what isn’t; I join the ranks of those who couldn’t resist the siren call of a mystery:
Nancy Drew, Miss Marple, Monk, The Scooby Gang https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/31/the-mysterious-world-of-scooby-doo/ The Hardy Boys https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/01/american-gothic/ Sherlock and Watson https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/13/sherlock/ Sookie Stackhouse, Donna Parker, McCloud, Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/10/having-the-last-laugh/
Mulder and Scully https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/20/the-truth-is-still-out-there-2/ Sam Spade, Veronica Mars, Honey West, Hannah Swensen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/05/ive-had-the-time-of-my-life/ The Bobbsey Twins, Father Brown, Phryne Fisher https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/06/miss-fishers-murder-mysteries/ Temperance Brennan (Bones), Alex Cross, Ellery Queen, Mannix, Elvis Cole, Murdoch, Quincy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/08/quincy-m-e/ Patrick Jane, Mike Hammer, Cadfael, Cherry Ames, Cagney and Lacey, MacMillan and Wife (she had a name, Sally), Stephanie Plum, Kay Scarpetta, Columbo https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/09/just-one-more-thing-columbo/
Jane Tennison, Lord Peter Wimsey, Audrey Parker https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/02/never-tear-us-apart/ Clarice Starling, Daisy Dalrymple, Phillip Marlowe, Peter Gunn, Nick & Nora Charles, Frost, Dexter https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/09/24/goodbye-dexter/ Magnum, The Harts, Nero Wolfe, Jessica Fletcher https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/30/glory-days/ Foyle, Poirot, Jim Rockford, Perry Mason, Jessica Jones, Houdini and Doyle?
Inspector Clouseau, Castle https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/05/06/nothings-gonna-stop-us-now/ Trixie Beldon, Rizzoli & Isles, Dupin, Sally Lockhart, The Girl Who…well, you know what she did.
My Cases So Far:
1. The Clue in the Diary (decoded, started a blog).
2. The Secret of the Old Biological Clock (unraveled, acceptance).
3. The Haunted What Ifs (the voices of my past fade into the void, including but not limited to: family, friends, Prince, Bowie, The Tragically Hip aka The Hip, Spirit of the West, The Ramones, etc. Yet I have to smile, because they happened).
4. The Sign of the Twisted Scandals (solved, don’t care).
5. The Mystery of the Dating Dilemma (more probing needed).
6. The Secret in the Old Attic (aka my head, ongoing).
7. The Password Puzzle (deciphered, but it’s a secret).
8. The Aging Writer Mystery (further review).
9. The Ghost of Broken Dreams (phantom case).
10. The Clue of the Missing Keys (found, Marie Kondo organized my life https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/02/14/who-loves-ya-baby/).
Broke, obscure, and chronically ill, I have probable cause to get discouraged and depressed.
It’s easy to believe the voices that bludgeon me, sticking a knife into my self-confidence, slamming an axe into my feelings of worth, poisoning my pride, shooting holes in my dignity. The suspects are many, with means, motive, and opportunity, so I have to solve the mystery, before it’s too late!
You probably didn’t think you had time to read this whole post, so like me, maybe you need to Go Nancy Drew Yourself!
Easter is here again. It means different things to different people. For some, it’s religious. For some, family, and/or the Easter bunny or all. But like so many things, it revolves around food, and plenty of it – ham, fish, roast beef, yams, hot-cross buns, cakes and cupcakes decorated like bunnies, jellybeans, Cadbury creme eggs, marshmallows peeps, chocolate bunnies, rice krispies treats shaped like bunnies and eggs, bunny bread…
I’ve been binging, this time reading, including, the Popular Culture and Philosophy series from Open Court. Pop culture and philosophy, for me, that’s book heroin. I started with Homeland and Philosophy: For Your Minds Only, edited by Robert Arp. On some level I like this show, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/03/homeland/ I keep watching it; one thing about it really stuck with me, Brody (Damian Lewis) is compared to a cockroach, surviving no matter what, but bringing misery to others. It describes so many people, oh my, does it describe the whole human race, crawling across the planet’s face?
My next bite was The Ultimate Walking Dead and Philosophy: Hungry For More, edited by Wayne Yuen. I nibbled on each page, snacking on deep thoughts about a deep show; delicious, but a lot to digest (chocolate-covered Daryl Dixon?).
Then I finally gave in, read some of Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook) and her Lean In self-help stuff. Same old, same old, but still good advice and catchy. It’s certainly what we want to hear, that we can succeed by embracing challenge and risk, but is it realistic? We want to believe women are moving ahead, but are they?
We also want to think diets, shifting our body weight to the thinner side will make us happy. It’s important to keep in mind, at all times, correlation is not causation, even strong correlation. I watched the documentary, Fed Up, like Ms. Sandberg’s work, it’s catchy, but with gaping holes and I don’t just mean the to-be-counted-as-sexy-these-days-thigh-gap which I think used to be called bow-legged and wasn’t that medically uncool? I guess having your thighs catch on fire while wearing corduroy isn’t considered ‘sexy’ anymore.
We already know the truth, we don’t need all these books, documentaries, etc. We don’t need a magic pill, that won’t fill our emptiness. We need moderation, in all things. And to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. I’ve had a long, complicated relationship with food, now I just want to be friends.
I wonder if our aversion to moderation comes from childhoods dominated by promises of dire consequences intermingled with lies. You know:
– Don’t swallow your gum, it’ll stay in your stomach for 7 years.
– Don’t pee in the pool – a dye will show you did it.
– Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis. Toads will give you warts.
– Don’t go swimming for 30 minutes after you eat.
– I’m leaving without you. We’re almost there.
– It won’t hurt. We’ll see. I don’t know.
– Maybe later. I always know when you’re lying.
– Your pet (insert fav pet name here) went to live on a farm.
– Coffee will stunt your growth. Milk will make you grow.
– Just a minute. Give me a minute (a parent minute is a lot longer than the average minute).
– And the obsession with preserving your eyesight. Carrots improve your eyesight. Reading in the dark damages your eyesight. If you cross your eyes they’ll stay that way. If you sit too close to the TV it will ruin your eyes. I wonder what we’re supposed to think Google glasses, smartphones, laptops, computers, etc. will do to our eyesight?
What about you, dear readers, any gems from childhood? I still feel guilty about stepping on cracks as a child. Sorry Mom. Walking in the rain, dodging worms, I tried to remember did we ever get told, Step on a worm, make your Mother squirm?
I wish you all a wonder-filled Easter. No matter how you celebrate, whether you lean in, lean out, lean up, or just enjoy, I hope you have enough.
Remember that label?
This is not a toy?
As a child I used to think, really, or is it a toy? As an adult I think, really, or is it a toy?
Labels continue to amuse me. Remove plastic from pizza before placing in the oven. Are we just stopping natural selection with all these labels? Then again, with the taste of some frozen pizzas, who’d notice? It’s also amazing how many “Do not eat” labels on things you wouldn’t possible even think of eating.
One of my all-time favourites is: if you can’t read the label, don’t use this. Huh? So basically, don’t spray deodorant in your eyes, sit on an oven door, don’t use a curling iron internally, don’t drink toner, pepper spray can irritate your eyes, hot beverages are indeed hot, and the list goes on. What’s your top weird label, dear readers?
1. Then again, observing people, I suppose these labels aren’t as weird as you’d think. Like those people who stand uber close to you in line. Do they think it’ll make the line move faster, or I’ll leave, either way, slow down, I’d appreciate dinner before you get that close.
2. What is with eating while driving? Really, is life that busy that people can’t stop and have a sandwich? Try the ‘o’ word: organization. And those poor little Stop signs, they’re getting a complex from being ignored…
3. Who writes these TV shows, books, and/or movies where all characters race around to keep, like, one main character alive? Does this person secretly have the cure for cancer? Other people drop like flies around them. or because of them, or to save them, but as long as they stay alive (more or less), it’s all good.
4. Money can’t buy happiness, sure, but it can buy food, shelter, security, I’d be way more comfortable crying in a nice house with a pool and not worrying about money all the time. Just sayin’.
5. No wonder young girls are so confused about body image. Women in music videos wearing clothes that could double as napkins gyrating against, well, anything. Men don’t feel the need to dress or act that way. Imagine the time we’d have for equal rights if we had never been told what shape to be, what to wear…who to be.
6. If you find politicians horrifying, pretend they’re children (not a big stretch), stop giving them so much attention.
7. The news keeps taking about how bad the economy is, not news to me, my economy has always been bad.
8. People who complain that you shouldn’t eat non-traditional foods for breakfast clearly haven’t figured out doughnuts are cake which is just like pancakes and you eat those for breakfast, right?
9. People who say they don’t do mornings are doing morning as they say it.
10. There’s nothing better we can do in this world, no greater kindness than making people feel safe, with food, shelter, comfort, love, and compassion, not fear, hunger, prejudice, poverty, and hatred.
My last post https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/09/take-on-me/ had all that talk of adulting, this week I put adulting on hold, went to a March Break matinée (yes, alone and isn’t it a weird reflection on society that if I were a man, I would be seen as creepy doing so; a few rotten apples do spoil so much, still got some looks I was there without a child). I thoroughly enjoyed The Peanuts Movie for $3; $1 went to Kids Help Phone and I got coupons (free popcorn and movies) – charity, coupons, childhood, and reclining seats – you can’t see me right now, but I’m The Breakfast Club fist-pumping in the air.
My point? Labels are just labels (lawsuits aside), common sense is the best label. Hope your weekend (and the First Day of Spring/Spring Equinox) is a warm hug.