Posted in Autism, Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

Been There. Done That. Try This!

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There are so many things we want to teach our children.
Love. Hope. Caring. Compassion. Empathy. Life skills. Listening. Learning. Reciprocity. Understanding. Manners.

With a child with Asperger’s Syndrome you have a few others life lessons to the list, the strangest one is lying. I’ve tried to teach my son to lie, with really no success.  Why would I teach my child to lie? Because society demands it. I’m sure we can all think of hundreds of examples of social lying. I’m sure you’ve lied today, probably multiple times. Imagine your life if you didn’t know how to lie. You boss asks if you like your job. Someone asks if their dress makes them look fat. Society is a hotbed of lies. Some lies are harmless and others are horrible. But what if you couldn’t lie? What if you told the truth no matter how detrimental it was to you?

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“You can’t handle the truth!”~Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men (screenplay by Aaron Sorkin)

People say they want the truth, but that’s the biggest lie of all. They would rather lies than uncomfortable truths.
So how do you teach someone social lying while telling them it’s wrong to lie? A confusing message, to say the least.

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I think the human race is evolving, and I believe a time is coming when there will less or no distinction between those who are neurotypical and those who allegedly ‘not’.
Asperger’s or High-Functioning Autism are now on our regular viewing schedules, in our books, in our workplaces, as friends, family members, bosses, employees, etc.
Once known as Nerd Syndrome, or for much of the 20th century diagnosed as Childhood Schizophrenia, before that insanity or demonic possession is now seen as essentially benign.
We’re just starting to realize having Autism isn’t necessarily terrible, or catastrophic, it’s a neurological difference. We need to understand and offer proper resources.

1aspie10The book, Been There. Done That. Try This! An Aspie’s Guide To Life On Earth (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) is a unique, comprehensive, effective, fascinating treasure trove of Aspie knowledge, mined by Tony Attwood (Editor, doctor, author, and Aussie Aspie expert), Craig R. Evans (Editor, doctor, author, and Aspie expert), Anita Lesko (Aspie, author, BSN,RN,MS,CRNA). This book may be written for those with Asperger’s by those with Asperger’s, but I think some of the advice can help neurotypicals as well.

It offers advice from true experts, Aspies sharing their knowledge on how to manage anxiety, depressions, meltdowns, sensory issues, bullying, careers, dating, sex, marriage, friendships, transitions, and so much more.  Mentors include: Temple Grandin, Liane Holliday Willey, Bob Castleman, Anita Lesko, Dr. Patrick Suglia, Debbie Denenburg, Lisa Morgan, Mitch Christian, Gary Burge, James Buzon, Charli Devnet, and more.

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The more I read about modern life being so challenging for people with Asperger’s the more I thought, is it perhaps too challenging for everyone? Is that why anxiety rates are so high, use of prescription drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sleep disorders, eating disorders, bullying, fighting, so much more prevalent? Maybe people with Asperger’s are just more obvious because their brains are always honest and don’t try to hide the problems.

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If we could all just accept Neurodiversity we’d see that we all need help in different ways and can be amazing, in different ways.
This book is wonderful for Aspies so they know they’re not alone and it gets better; for parents to remember there’s hope; and for others to understand that different isn’t less.

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Author:

Very me

14 thoughts on “Been There. Done That. Try This!

  1. Interesting concept you put forward here. I think often in life people without Asperger’s struggle because they feel they can’t be honest about how they’re really feeling, they tend to bottle it up and things get worse and worse.

    I’ve found in my life that I’m happier now I talk about things more – if I’m feeling bad I tell someone. But I do take your point that in a sense we’re often lying, we naturally gloss over how we’re really feeling at times because that’s easier to do.

    Great, thought provoking post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it’s a cool word isn’t it?
      It’s a wonderful form of real world application, who would know better how to give advice than someone who lives it everyday?
      Thanks for dropping by Kate. 🙂

      Like

    1. I’m not sure about your grandson’s, but for my son the unadulterated honesty became less and less cute as he got older. I guess to live in this world we all need an edit button. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

      Like

  2. “I think the human race is evolving, and I believe a time is coming when there will less or no distinction between those who are neurotypical and those who allegedly ‘not’.”

    I so agree with this!!! We all have different personalities with distinctive gifts to contribute to the world and to the evolution of our species. If their were no variations, there would be no progress.

    Thanks for bringing up the subject!

    P.S. “Neurodiversity.” Did you coin that? Great word. I’m ready to start a movement!

    Like

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been using the word Neurodiversity for many years, but I’ve seen it other places too, I’m guessing some researcher or doctor originally came up with it. Yes, Neurodiversity Now!!! Thanks for dropping by! Hope you have a wonderful day! 🙂

      Like

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