Tag: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Been There. Done That. Try This!
There are so many things we want to teach our children.
Love. Hope. Caring. Compassion. Empathy. Life skills. Listening. Learning. Reciprocity. Understanding. Manners.
With a child with Asperger’s Syndrome you have a few others life lessons to the list, the strangest one is lying. I’ve tried to teach my son to lie, with really no success. Why would I teach my child to lie? Because society demands it. I’m sure we can all think of hundreds of examples of social lying. I’m sure you’ve lied today, probably multiple times. Imagine your life if you didn’t know how to lie. You boss asks if you like your job. Someone asks if their dress makes them look fat. Society is a hotbed of lies. Some lies are harmless and others are horrible. But what if you couldn’t lie? What if you told the truth no matter how detrimental it was to you?
“You can’t handle the truth!”~Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men (screenplay by Aaron Sorkin)
People say they want the truth, but that’s the biggest lie of all. They would rather lies than uncomfortable truths.
So how do you teach someone social lying while telling them it’s wrong to lie? A confusing message, to say the least.
I think the human race is evolving, and I believe a time is coming when there will less or no distinction between those who are neurotypical and those who allegedly ‘not’.
Asperger’s or High-Functioning Autism are now on our regular viewing schedules, in our books, in our workplaces, as friends, family members, bosses, employees, etc.
Once known as Nerd Syndrome, or for much of the 20th century diagnosed as Childhood Schizophrenia, before that insanity or demonic possession is now seen as essentially benign.
We’re just starting to realize having Autism isn’t necessarily terrible, or catastrophic, it’s a neurological difference. We need to understand and offer proper resources.
The book, Been There. Done That. Try This! An Aspie’s Guide To Life On Earth (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) is a unique, comprehensive, effective, fascinating treasure trove of Aspie knowledge, mined by Tony Attwood (Editor, doctor, author, and Aussie Aspie expert), Craig R. Evans (Editor, doctor, author, and Aspie expert), Anita Lesko (Aspie, author, BSN,RN,MS,CRNA). This book may be written for those with Asperger’s by those with Asperger’s, but I think some of the advice can help neurotypicals as well.
It offers advice from true experts, Aspies sharing their knowledge on how to manage anxiety, depressions, meltdowns, sensory issues, bullying, careers, dating, sex, marriage, friendships, transitions, and so much more. Mentors include: Temple Grandin, Liane Holliday Willey, Bob Castleman, Anita Lesko, Dr. Patrick Suglia, Debbie Denenburg, Lisa Morgan, Mitch Christian, Gary Burge, James Buzon, Charli Devnet, and more.
The more I read about modern life being so challenging for people with Asperger’s the more I thought, is it perhaps too challenging for everyone? Is that why anxiety rates are so high, use of prescription drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sleep disorders, eating disorders, bullying, fighting, so much more prevalent? Maybe people with Asperger’s are just more obvious because their brains are always honest and don’t try to hide the problems.
If we could all just accept Neurodiversity we’d see that we all need help in different ways and can be amazing, in different ways.
This book is wonderful for Aspies so they know they’re not alone and it gets better; for parents to remember there’s hope; and for others to understand that different isn’t less.
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
Sometimes simple and straightforward are best.
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopmann (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) explains Asperger’s Syndrome perfectly. And it has adorable pictures of cats being adorable.
This delightful and deceptively minimal book is the first book you should read if someone you love is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (also called Aspergers Syndrome, or Asperger Syndrome, or Asperger’s, or Aspergers).
The only downside? Like Sheldon Cooper (played so brilliantly by Jim Parsons) on The Big Bang Theory, it makes it sound much cuter than it usually is; for those who have it and those who love them. Or Sherlock Holmes (take your pick, the most recent, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller) which makes it seem exciting…Or all the other examples of Aspergian or High-Functioning Autism on TV, in movies or books.
The truth, it’s difficult, frustrating, wonderful, sad, amazing, and confusing…for all concerned.
There are many great books I would recommend, but these are quite helpful, informative and above all, accessible.
Borrow them from a friend, library, or Autism association; or purchase them in store or online.
The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome – Dr. Tony Attwood; Inside Asperger’s Looking Out – Kathy Hoopmann; An Asperger Dictionary of Everyday Expressions – Ian Stuart-Hamilton; Kids in the Syndrome Mix – Martin L Kutscher, MD; The Oasis Guide to Asperger Syndrome – Patricia Romanowski Bashe & Barbara L. Kirby (Harmony Books); The Autism Discussion Page on the Core Challenges of Autism – Bill Nason (Jessica Kingsley Publishers)
The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children with Asperger’s Syndrome – William Stillman (Adams Media)
The Asperger’s Answer Book – Susan Ashley, Ph.D. (Sourcebooks, Inc.)
Empowered Autism Parenting – William Stillman (Jossey-Bass)
The Fabric of Autism – Judith Bluestone (Sapphire Enterprises, LLC)
How To Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Asperger’s – Jennifer McIlwee Myers (Future Horizons)
Quirky, Yes Hopeless, No – Cynthia La Brie Norall, Ph.D w/ Beth Wagner Brust (St. Martin’s Griffin)
Thank goodness for Jessica Kingsley Publishers, I don’t know what I would have done without them.
If your child, spouse, friend, or yourself is diagnosed – don’t panic!
Media, doom and gloomers, people holding mock funerals for their children when they’re diagnosed, etc., even those who wish to help can intentionally or unintentionally scare you.
Don’t get caught up in the conflict people, people that love to make everything a drama.
Don’t hyper-focus on people ‘understanding’, including your family or friends, how could they understand? Just hope they’re supportive.
Focus on helping the person you love.
They’re still the same person, you just have a diagnosis that will aid you and others, to help them.
Helping the person you love find the skills and resources is taxing enough without adding fuss.
It’s also important to remember Autism isn’t a straight road, there are many, many twists and turns, ups and downs.
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ~Confusius
My son has Asperger’s and several medical conditions, but is doing better than anyone would have predicted.
Yet when a setback comes along, a medical procedure; other anxiety-provoking situations, people, challenges; illness, or something that is overwhelming I have to remember, it may seem like one step forward, two back, but he still took that one step forward.
But it’s still been a long few days.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher
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