Posted in Autism, Books, Parenting, Uncategorized

There are worse things I could do

Posted on by D. Parker

Spring has sprung, 1anxiety4
the grass has riz
and everywhere
the birdies is.

That was my Dad’s way of letting us know, it was Spring.

On this beautiful Spring-like day, I’m settling for the sin of cleaning.
Cleaning, sinful? For someone with Asperger’s, who like things a certain way and don’t like changes, it’s a terrible transgression.
It’s all how we see things – making things fresh and clean or adding lots of weird smells and moving things, possibly moving them out of order?
I clean less than Martha Stewart, but my son, the Aspie thinks I clean way too much. Which got me thinking about balance.1anxiety8

1anxiety1Overcoming Anxiety and Depression on the Autism Spectrum by Lee A, Wilkinson, PhD (Jessica Kingsley Publishers), was a timely book to read today when I borrowed the digital copy from Netgalley.com for an honest review.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help people restore balance, whether they’re on the Autism Spectrum or not.
It’s about changing your way of thinking.
Taking a bad, sad, mad, or scary thought and changing how you look at it.
It’s like taking a old, clean sock, soaking it in equal parts water and vinegar and using it to clean your blinds and windows so you can see more clearly.
Don’t forget to use the other sock to dry them.

There’s nothing wrong with being sad, mad, or scared, but how we handle those thoughts can be like washing a cast iron pan with soap and water instead of coarse salt and water. We want it to last and reach its full potential, so don’t forget TLC (for the pan, some oil).

CBT helps manage and overcome difficulties, in a straightforward way, making a complicated situation less so.
Like when you use your blender, helpful, but now it’s messy. Instead of taking it apart to clean, or trying to clean around the blades, potentially causing more harm, pour in hot water and dish soap, lid on, then blend. Just rinse, dry and store.
1anxiety6

Wilkinson is excellent at explaining the anxiety, depression, and isolation caused by social skills deficits and cognitive issues, and how they can be alleviated and managed through CBT.
Too often people with anxiety or depression are told to: just stop, grow up, smarten up, man up, or they’re defective or attention-seeking, etc.
Trying to clean a cutting board used for cutting raw chicken with only soap and water or bleach. Think that fixes the problem?
1anxiety7No, but a lemon cut in half with salt on it would do the trick.

So there are worse things I can do than Spring cleaning…if we find the right balance, there’s little or no anxiety for my son and our home is sparkling.

For now.

Author:

Very me

28 thoughts on “There are worse things I could do”

    1. I know, I hope it stays! Walking with only a light coat today – hooray!!! 🙂
      Hope this day is treating you well, Barbara. 🙂
      Hugs, Donna 🙂

      Reply

      2. I hope you have a wonderful time (if it’s that kind of trip). 🙂
        Looking forward to your stories when you return. 🙂
        Hope your trip is safe and just how you need it to be, Barbara. 🙂
        Hugs, Donna

  2. I only nipped in for a minute to say hello, I wasn’t expecting a barrage of such terrible language and without a word of warning too. Look, when the floors full and the dust reaches the ,level of the TV I’ll move to another address- with the TV of course.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Reply

    1. lol Well, David, I’m sorry I mentioned the ‘C’ word (cleaning) without warning, I will try to remember to put a warning label in the future. 😉
      Hmm, that is a solution and there will be a TV, that’s the way my son feels too. 😉
      Hope this day is treating you kindly, again, sorry about the shock. 😉
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      Reply

  4. Aren’t you a wiz at the spring biz? You are awesome. :star:
    Shocked the heck out of myself today. Spring IS in the air. The sun radiated through the window behind me. Though not planned, after I vacuumed the area rug in my living-room (planned), I took it into the bedroom. Moved the furniture into the center of the room and went to it. This was crazy, but the sunshine made me do it. ^^’

    Reply

    1. Thank you kindly. 🙂
      There are strange things done in the Springtime sun by the people who decide to clean. 😉
      All the best, hope this day treats you well. 🙂

      Reply

  6. How your son feels when you clean is probably how I’d feel if I couldn’t clean! Things like that, our differences in life amaze and inspire me, and nothing like finding solutions that can benefit the both of you!

    Reply

    1. Yes, Kate, I understand exactly. While I don’t love the cleaning itself, I love the result. 🙂
      Finding that balance is so important. 🙂
      Hope this day is being good to you, Kate aka #CheerMom 🙂

      Reply

    1. Thank you so much for the nomination, I am honoured. 🙂
      This is so kind of you, I really appreciate the gesture. 🙂
      Hope this day is good to you. 🙂

      Reply

  8. I’m one of the people who cleans everyday, usually before settling down to check emails, blogs and then start writing. It gives me a sense of achievement and sets me up for the rest of the day. I like to keep on top of it and feel rewarded by doing so.

    Great post, which so shouts out ‘positivity’.

    Reply

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