Month: February 2015
Coulda Woulda Shoulda
The worst part
about growing old,
surprisingly,
isn’t:
Wrinkles – although watching your face
become a road map to your final destination isn’t pleasant;
Creaking joints/aches and pains –
maybe shouldn’t have done that.
Learning more than you ever wanted
to learn about some people – sigh.
Losing your nouns, keys, and even memories –
although, frustrating.
The worst part is loss.
Some experience loss early and often through life,
others face the inevitable and unenviable state of loss
through time.
After losing someone you start thinking about your life
and like most people, I have some regrets.
I regret not seeing a friend was really an enemy
And an enemy was really a friend
I regret harsh words spoken
Cuts that will never mend
I regret not doing what I wanted to do
And doing what I did not want
I regret not being stronger
For being frail when I should have fought
I regret worrying about little things
That only mattered in my head
I regret thinking I knew it all
Using sarcasm to cover pain
I regret turning away from love found
Not recognizing love given
Doing too much
Doing too little
But these are backwards
And do not overwhelm
The smiles I was given
The smiles I received
The love that I treasure
Compassion given
And accepted
Hope lost and recovered
Happiness collected
All invaluable
Compassion Never Goes Out of Style
When you rise
you should
bring others with you;
when you descend,
invite no one else along.
Sometimes you will hate.
Choose love.
Sometimes you will be indifferent.
Choose compassion.
Sometimes you will despair.
Choose hope.
Was there always so much anger in the world or does the internet just give it a longer reach?
I guess there were always bullies, meanies, thugs, just generally, nasties.
Maybe there were cave people who told other cave people they were terrible at cave drawings.
But the vitriol online? Treating others as you would want to be treated hasn’t changed because of the anonymity of the internet.
The internet can bring people together, to help, to spread information, but it also has a sinister side where people abuse, use, and destroy others, sometimes for sport.
There are too many Human Tornados – charming and convincing, they cut a path of destruction wherever they go. They blow into people’s lives, wreak havoc, then move on, often pretending they’re the victim. Some of them sure are brilliant, at being cruel.
Do they’re know what they’re doing?
How much they’re hurting others?
The damage they do?
Is it lashing out?
Are they so dissociated from their feelings?
Or so narcissistic that they can’t see past their own feelings?
As you can see, I have more questions than answers.
Social media fights have become notorious – they’ve lead to lawsuits, divorces, estrangement, even death and yet, they rage on.
Venom spewed toward the living, the deceased. Anyone and anything is fair game.
Just because they can.
Strong, confident people don’t have to judge, or tear others down.
All that time and energy wasted, caring about who others love, what they wear, their weight, their income, what they drive or where they live, who they know, what race or religion they are, lifestyle choices, etc.
Instead of attacking – discuss, ignore, show compassion, or see things from another point of view.
Being wealthy, famous, powerful or on the internet are not character references. Character is what you do, not who you are. It’s what you do when no one can see what you’re doing. Or who you are. Or when you don’t get anything for doing it.
Compassion never goes out of style.
Compassion is the New Extremism
Each new day, no matter what it brings, I try to face with grace. I’m not always successful. Hopefully I’ll get another chance.
Things creep into your life or leap in, snarling and tearing, either way, they can beat you down so hard you wonder how you will ever get back up…then eventually, you’ll notice you’re standing again.
Those you love will hurt and you can’t always help, but you can always love them.
People, even good people get lost, if you can, help them find their way. Hopefully, someone will do the same for you.
There will be prejudice and you will think it unfair. It is. Have the courage to denounce it.
You will lose those you love, for many reasons, but you’ll never lose that you loved them.
Kindness can have costs, but you’ll be paid back over and over again.
Love can hurt, but you’ll keep loving and will want to love again, despite the pain.
If you see someone fall, literally or figuratively, extending a hand feels better than pointing a finger.
There will be dark times, but find people and things that help you through the darkness, not descend into the darkness.
When another day ends, remember the good, try to understand the bad, be grateful and know that, maybe, just maybe you can try again tomorrow.
On February 20, 2015, the internet is going to be filled with a different form of extremism, compassion. I hope you can join, with a post, a quote, a Tweet, status update, video, photo that means compassion to you…or visit. I’m not a fan of Slacktivism, but I think we need to remember that compassion, kindness, and hope are better than intolerance, hate, and fear. #1000Speak
We’ll Always Have Pancakes
Tuesday isn’t Friday. And it never will be.
Tuesday Weld (Susan Ker Weld) legally changed her name in 1959. She was born on a Friday. While filming Wild in the Country (1961) Weld was professionally and personally involved with Elvis. Elvis died at 42, on Tuesday August 16, 1977. There are those that believe otherwise…
Tuesday is thankful it’s not Monday; people seem to really hate Monday.
Ruby Tuesday, the classic hit by The Rolling Stones was originally titled, Title B. Hmmm, would a chain of restaurants called themselves Title B ?
People are allegedly the least ‘frisky’ on Tuesdays.
October 29, 1929, also known as Black Tuesday, when the New York Stock Exchange crashed, signalling the beginning of The Great Depression, which may have been badly named.
Tuesday June 6, 1944, D-Day. Allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, France to liberate Nazi-controlled Europe.
If You Give a Pig a Pancake by Laura Numeroff, illustrated by Felicia Bond is one is a series of children’s books that teaches cause and effect. The usual effect for me? When reading it to my son, I wanted pancakes.
Tuesday is allegedly the most productive day of the work week. If you’re reading this at work, that may not be true.
Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday – all the same day. Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many Christians. Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras is a time to celebrate and feast on foods not allowed during the austerity of Lent, most of which are rich in fat…now I’m drooling at the thought of pancakes. Even if people don’t observe Lent, many celebrate Pancake Tuesday or Fat Tuesday.
Here’s one of my favourite pancake recipes:
½ cup flour (your choice)
1 ½ cups of oatmeal
1 tbsp honey
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
Mix together lightly in a large bowl.
Add 1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sour milk (you can make milk sour by adding 1 tsp vinegar)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 large egg
Mix gently and cook with a small amount of butter/olive oil mixture to grease the pan.
Garnish to taste and enjoy!
“He respects Owl, because you can’t help respecting anybody who can spell Tuesday even if he doesn’t spell it right” ~AA Milne
20 Movies To Avoid on a First Date
1. The Notebook. There’s no winner here, men will be edging to the door wanting to avoid the crying woman beside him in the theater and comparing themselves to Ryan Gosling. Your date will be all dewy-eyed and comparing you to Ryan Gosling.
2. (500) Days Of Summer. Sweet and quirky, but both of you will be thinking, hmmmm, they’re just going to break my heart, why even start this?
3. Lolita. Whole mess of discomfort and awkward conversations.
4. Saw. Any of them. Stay away from horror movies unless your date specifically says they love horror movies.
5. Knocked Up. Take a trip to a pharmacy before you see this.
6. Anything too funny – who can live up to that? Your jokes will fall flat for the rest of the night and you’ll end up repeating back the movie lines. Great way to weed out atrocious laughers though.
7. Marley & Me. Nothing says hot date like the death of a beloved pet.
8. Muriel’s Wedding, The Wedding Date, Monsoon Wedding, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. My Best Friend’s Wedding, Love Actually…you could be sized up for a tux while you’re getting popcorn. This goes double for Jane Austen-related films.
9. Anything too political. Could spark a lively debate or you could end up hating each other.
10. How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Because it’s about screwing up relationships, but mainly because it’s just kinda boring.
11. Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, Misery, Play Misty For Me, You Belong To Me, One Hour Photo, Sleeping With the Enemy, The Crush. Anything too stalkery – your date will be looking for the exits and changing their number.
12. Anything by David Lynch. This could lead to unsettling conversations about who has tried what, with whom, and when.
13. Titanic. Too long and spoilers, it didn’t end well. This goes for: Romeo and Juliet, Blue Valentine, Blue Velvet, The Comfort of Strangers, Antichrist, American Psycho, or Shame.
14. The Break Up. Leads to long silences and not just about the poor acting.
15. War movies, specifically Holocaust related.
16. Back to the Future. Mom in love with her son. Enough said.
17. He’s Just Not That Into You. Too much chatter and suspicion.
18. Vanilla Sky. I have nothing.
19. Remember Me. Your date may not want Robert Pattinson to die and guess what? Stick with any of the Twilight films.
20. Say Anything. Unless you have a boom box, a trench coat and are John Cusack, don’t even try this one.
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the freezing rain
I never wanted 2 cause u any sorrow
(But I’m sad chipping ice off everything)
I never aimed 2 cause u any pain
(I fell on the ice and hurt my, er, derriere)
I only fancied one time 2 see u laughing
(But I’m not laughing)
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the frozen rain
(Can u even see me in this rain?)
Freezing rain Freezing rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
I only wanted 2 see u sliding in the Freezing rain
(that’s more than a little cruel)I never desired 2 be your lover
(it’s not u, it’s me)
I only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
(what kind of friend?)
Baby I would never steal u from another
(probably not, but u could try)
It’s such a shame our friendship had 2 end
(Hey baby, welcome 2 Dumpsville, Population: U)
Freezing rain Freezing rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
I only wanted 2 see u in the freezing rain
(What? Like a statue?)
Sunny, no, no, no, times are changing
Time to reach 4 something more Spring-like
Back off, winter, that u 2
U say u want to be a season?
But u can’t seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better warm up
And let me feel some warmer rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
Freezing rain Freezing rain
If you know what I’m singing about out there
C’mon raise your ice scrapers!
Freezing rain Freezing rain
I only want 2 see u, only want 2 see u after
the freezing rain
Inspired by the weather and Prince or whatever his name is these days.
Goodbye Dearest Friend
Yesterday I woke up to different world.
That happens every day, but some days,
some days the changes are horrible.
My best friend of almost 30 years passed away two nights ago.
Rose was sweet, funny, kind, brave, beautiful,
stubborn, strong, talented,
just a wonderful person.
She was always cool, not just cool,
but never judging or cruel.
Here are some pictures of Rose (in the pink she’s dressed for Halloween giving me the what, more pictures look – as much as Rose loved taking pictures she didn’t like having them taken of her; I feel the same).
The others are of her and I in photo booths (remember those, the original selfies). We were young and always did the same pose, I’m in the front, trying to look sophisticated and she’s trying to hide from the camera…I think, who knows, it was a long time ago.
We had some wild times together.
We had long talks and laughs.
We shared our love of music and fun.
She was Godmother to my son.
Always there, always wonderful.
I can’t imagine a world without Rose.
Though my heart is aching,
she will remain there
because she’ll always be my best friend.
I was very lucky to have known her, as was anyone who knew her.
Those who touch our hearts, stay in them forever. Goodbye Rose, sister-in-my-heart,
I hope you’ve gone to rock’n’roll heaven!
I woke up this morning thinking it had all been a bad dream. Then the pain hit me hard enough to almost knock me off my feet.
These are the days I wish I had a time machine to go back,
to change things, to just have more time with those I’ve lost.
Death seems pointless, but it brings things into sharp focus for those left behind. Or it should. It shows clearly what is important and even more so, what isn’t important. We shouldn’t spend time on petty things, narcissism, fear, worry, and hate. We should be loving, giving, caring, and worry less about the material things, they can all be replaced…people cannot.
“Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,
Courage in your own.”
~Adam Lindsay Gordon
Sharks Do Get Cancer
It amazes me how certain myths stick while others don’t.
We used to believe:
- Sharks don’t get cancer (they do, anyone volunteering to put on their sunscreen?)
- Bananas grow on trees (no, they’re berries that grow on the world’s largest perennial herb plant).
- We only have 5 senses.
- Need 8 glasses of water a day.
- Ulcers were caused by stress or eating acidy foods. Nope, a nasty bacteria, Helicobacter pylori.
- Tomatoes are veggies, actually, fruit.
- Chastity belts were for chastity, actually, puritans wanted people to be Masters of their Domain (yeah, I had a Seinfeld flashback).
- Humans use 10% of our brain. My son worried his brain couldn’t hold too much information. I explained his brain is like the TARDIS from Doctor Who (looks like an old blue police box, but inside is unlimited space and astonishing things). Now my son fills his head with as much information as possible.
- Salted water boils faster.
- Lemmings run off cliffs to kill themselves, actually they go into the sea to swim to mating area – come on, there’s no one you’d jump and swim for?
- Poinsettias are poison, no, but why is anyone eating Poinsettias anyway?
- Milk increases mucus.
- Shouldn’t swim after you eat.
- Humans and dinosaurs existed during the same time period (except in Jurassic Park, of course).
- Dieting myths, endless dieting myths.
- People with Epilepsy were possessed by demons.
Just because you believe something doesn’t mean you have to keep believing it.
Free speech is important, too bad it can also be hurtful or deadly.
The news pumps out stories of measles and other outbreaks; the anti-vaccine and pro-vaccine contingents battle on.
Vaccinated and unvaccinated children get Autism.
Millions get vaccinated and don’t have Autism.
What about genetics? Environmental agents? Epigenetics? Infectious processes? Autoimmume? I don’t know the answer, maybe it’s the Perfect Storm etiology, a predisposition in conjunction with various components.
Or maybe they’re just different or a vanguard of human evolution.
Calling other parents names and berating them for vaccinating their children isn’t going to find a cause or a cure or help them live good lives. Autism was once known as Childhood Schizophrenia. Now we know better and have broader definitions, better awareness, resources, and statistics. Jenny McCarthy said her son was a Crystal Child, then had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome (a seizure disorder with symptoms similar to Autism). That didn’t sell, so she jumped on the Autism train and rode it all the way to stardom, sort of. Mass hysteria that would make the Salem Witch Trials blush has swept the world, based on one discredited study. McCarthy has since backed off, having made a fortune, but the damage is done.
The myth has outgrown its origins.
If you want me to believe something, don’t use insults, anecdotal evidence, anger, flawed logic, catastrophic hyperbole, and endless drama. If your point is valid you could debate or even argue it, in a rational and respectful manner. I also don’t understand having a mock funeral when your child is diagnosed with Autism. If only people could unite to help our children, use all that energy, time, money, and passion to promote tolerance, acceptance, support, love, and hope, imagine how much better the world would be.
If you believe, you don’t have to belittle.
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -Edward R. Murrow
Lazy SuperBowl Sundae
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