Month: March 2015

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Family, Food, Parenting, Uncategorized, Weight

Old Habits Die Harder

Posted on by D. Parker

pablo27

Don’t you think this would be a perfect title of the next Die Hard movie? Call me Bruce, we’ll talk…

Oh, you know there’s going to more, this isn’t over yet.

I woke up in the night with my leg in a bear trap. The pain was excruciating. It was dark and there was no one around to help me. As I struggled to my feet, feeling at my ankle for blood I realized I’d been dreaming. My mind, trying to process the pain of the fist-sized charley horse in my leg had incorporated it into my dream.
I’d done a prolonged and unusual activity the day before, sadly, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds. I had broken a habit of procrastination and avoidance. OK, maybe I’d at least dented the habit.

The trouble with habits, these sometimes helpful, sometimes hurtful patterns of behaviour – they so can easily become addictive and breaking them is complicated.1habits2

  • Phase 1 – Some call it denial. You don’t have a problem, everybody else does. This habit isn’t hurting anyone. Phase 1 can last for years and years.

  • Phase 2 – You consider you might have a bad habit and contemplate whether to part ways with the habit. This phase can also last a long time.

  • Phase 3 – You start looking at the good, the bad, and addictive. I like the habits, no, I hate the habits. Pros and Cons lists are made. Arguments for and against are hotly debated in your head.

    1habits3

  • Phase 4 – The most public phase. Until now you fought the habit war in your head. With action, people will know. It’s all out there. You’ll get narrow-eyed looks, comments, praise, questions, and/or criticism. But your resolve is firm.

  • Phase 5 – Staying the course. You’ve done it, kicked that habit to the curb! It’s not going to run your life, you are in charge. This is when you have to maintain. They can take our habits, but they can never take our freedom!

  • Phase 6  – When the ugly stats that 9 out of 10 people relapse back into their habits within a year. And the older the habit, the harder is it to break. You get the bad news, you have Chronic Reversion Syndrome. The tests all show, the habit is back. Your family and friends fear the worst, but you know you’re going to fight it.1habits4

In your rush to recover, you should be  careful, to change a habit, you need to move toward something new and better, not just away from the habit you’re trying to kick. Or try to replace a bad habit with a good habit.

How do you quit bad habits, dear readers?
Have you had success or like me, do you suffer from Chronic Reversion Syndrome?

pablo25

 

Yippee Ki-Yay,
dear readers!

Advertisement
Posted in Canada, Environment, Family, Music, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

Dreaming is Free

Posted on by D. Parker

Are teens and young people at risk for dreaming anymore?

Dreaming has become very expensive…and I think you need an app for it.

pablo23

Boomers and Gen X were well-intentioned, wanting to give our children everything. Somehow it backfired and we’re leaving them with: a broken system, crumbling infrastructure, crippling debt, dubious morals, attention issues, a yawning wealth gap, a dying planet, corrupt governments and business.
Now in our defence, we also gave them: kittens on the internet, tons of fast food, and technology that might be destroying them.

pablo19

Yet I’m still hopeful. Why? Because they are.
Many young people still want to try. They want to change things.
The media gives us the impression that all young people care about is
their smart phones, that they don’t vote, they’re unmotivated, or joining terrorist groups.
But that’s because the news is pandering – sensationalism rules.
Saving the planet isn’t sexy.
Trillions in unfunded liabilities (governments are happy if you don’t pay attention to things like this) is boring and incomprehensible.
None of this has ratings potential. Rarely goes viral. But it should. We need to stop focusing on the negative and sensational.

Have we removed our children’s ability to dream? I hope not.1agenscrewed3
Maybe it would help if we stopped calling them things like, Generation Screwed. That’s uplifting.
Profusely unemployed or underemployed, many live at home longer or return home. Debt, especially from student loans, is weighing them down. They need to have hope.

This generation, Millennials, have been given so much.
Their expectations are high. A new smart phone in their hand, and often. Big TVs, little laptops and tablets, a car to drive, fast food, clothes, trips.
Yet when they get out into the world to earn enough to have those things themselves, they hit barriers – no jobs, part-time jobs, low-income jobs, outsourcing, and even their beloved technology is plotting to steal their jobs.

They’re told to: lower their expectations; accept the new normal; the low-hanging fruit has been picked; and society has reached a plateau. Wow, way to motivate.

That should be a Graduation Speech:

Knowing that society has reached a plateau and all the low-hanging fruit has been picked, we’re all going back home to live with our parents until we’re 40 or so. 1agenscrewed4
This is the new normal, having lowered our expectations of ever getting a decent job or a home.
We accept this is the way things are.
And in conclusion, check out this viral video of a zebra that can paint its own toenails.

 

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Uncategorized

Why I Will Never Be Freshly Pressed

Posted on by D. Parker

I don’t own an iron…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

Many of you reading this are WordPress Bloggers. You may have heard of being ‘Freshly Pressed’, where WordPress Editors pick out posts that are instantly given a lot of attention. It feels like their way of saying some bloggers are better than others, that they’re more worthy of sharing.

I even Googled, ‘How to get Freshly Pressed’.
Hmmm, note to self, next time you search, add, ‘on WordPress’, because, wow, that got weird, really fast.

Apparently none of my blog posts have: ‘enlightened’, ‘inspired’, ‘entertained’, or got the WordPress Editors ‘talking’.

Oh well, at least I’ve learned a lot about blogging, sorta…

  • I’m more concise (applause).

  • I know about: fonts, stats, sharing, widgets, I know what SEO stands for, Search Engine Oops, maybe I don’t.

  • I’m on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest – I’m everywhere and as it turns out, nowhere.

  • I’ve virtually met fantastic people…or who knows, maybe they’re all one giant app that pretends to be bloggers and readers.

  • I’ve made mistakes…many. I’ve had popular posts and some you could hear crickets chirping as the post sits there being ignored.

  • I’ve been encouraged, discouraged, disappointed, and delighted.

  • I’ve learned to not take it too seriously.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

  • Yet for Freshly Pressed folks, apparently I don’t write ‘unique content’ that’s free of  ‘bad stuff’  (where’s the fun in that?).

  • I don’t have a ‘point of view’ (that’s silly, everyone has a point of view, even if they borrowed it from someone else).

  • I don’t paint them ‘a picture’ or make it easy on their eyes (this seems like a blatant attempt to get me to buy a Premium package).

  • I don’t add ‘relevant tags’ (too many tags, not enough tags, make up your mind).

    My headlines can be ‘ignored’ (I already put the word ‘Obscure’ in my tagline).

  • I make typoos, er, typos. Sorry I’m not prefect, WordPress.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

I’ve tried, I really have, for over 500 posts, but sigh, I’m still in The-Land-of-Never-To-Be-Freshly-Pressed. It’s worse than being Friend-zoned.

  • Well, I never really wanted to be Freshly Pressed anyway (so there).

  • You can keep your FP Clique.

  • You keep your special jackets that say FP on them and super-duper secret decoder rings.

  • Keep your secret Clubhouse where all the Freshly Pressed elite virtually hang out and talk about us losers that will never be Pressed.

Just realized, this little rant probably  got me banned from being Freshly Pressed, for my blogging lifetime. So what? I was never going to be anyway (er, was I?).

So, why will I never be Freshly Pressed? Ummm, no clue….

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
How could you not Freshly Press this face?

 

Posted in Autism, Blogs, Doctor Who, Family, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

Take your time, hurry up

Posted on by D. Parker

1me16

Last night, as I checked on my beautiful boy, now so grown up, I noted again that time has raced by yet he still looks like my baby when he’s asleep.

Having a child with Autism, those sleep times give you some much-needed downtime and perhaps, a curious understanding of time and dimension, hmm, or maybe that’s too many years of Doctor Who.

In this frenzied world, we need more compassion, appreciation, and hope; less rushing, lies, and bullying. Maybe we don’t have time to stop and smell the roses, but I hope we can at least notice the roses are there.

  • The best time to take a deep breath is when there’s no time. At the end of your life, I doubt you’ll look back and think, thank goodness I spent my life like a hamster on a wheel, that was sooo fulfilling.

  •  Stop flogging yourself for mistakes. They happen. Learn from them. So you write or say the wrong thing. Fall in love with the wrong person. Press the wrong button and start a nuclear war, ok, that example is pretty much the worst mistake ever, try not to do that one. Time moves forward for a reason, so should you.

  • 1me10I think you can be happy with or without money. Money just makes life easier, not always better. Stop trying to buy your way to happiness or keep up with the Kardashians. If you’re coveting someone else’s stuff, you’re not focusing on you and those you love. You can’t be happy doing that.

  • Don’t get into friendships or relationships (or stay in them) for the wrong reasons. Do you really loathe your own company that much?1me11

  • Don’t reject someone because you’ve had a bad experience either. That experience taught you something, it had a purpose.

  • Fall apart once in a while. You’re not always “fine”. Sometimes it’s fine not to be fine.

  • Worry is passive and self-indulgent; you’re not enjoying that moment and not letting others enjoy it either.marxbros5

  • Trying to be someone you’re not is like trying to hide a dinosaur in your bedroom, it’s too big, smelly, messy, and extinct. Why be someone else, they’re already doing it.

  • Holding grudges or hating people is a toxic waste of time and energy. Forgiveness isn’t agreeing, you’re just not going to let it poison you or those around you. That includes forgiving yourself too!1me13

  • If we have time to shop, play games, check the internet, go on vacation, go out to dinner, we can spare 5 minutes to vote. An hour to volunteer or help someone. We can’t make a difference if we don’t at least try.

  • Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, think about what you do want to happen.

  • Those who love you don’t need you to explain yourself and pretenders, bullies, or enemies, they’ll believe what they want to believe.1funny103

Posted in Autism, Awards, Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

March Madness Spring Fling Blog Party

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny36

Depending on where you are, this week is:
Spring Break, March Break, March Madness, Spring Equinox, St. Patrick’s Day or maybe it’s just March.

So for our own form of March Madness, a Spring Fling to get us in the mood, let’s have a Blog Party!!!
Please use the comment box below to tell other bloggers about your blog –
don’t forget to include your blog link!
Tell us something about yourself and/or your blog
and share it so other bloggers will find out about you and everyone else!

1blog21bull18

I started this blog for relaxation (although sometimes, especially when WordPress makes changes, relaxation is not the word I use), but now, over 500 posts later, I look at my followers and views with wonder.
As a single mom with Fibromyalgia, raising a child with Autism and other health concerns, relaxation is important because most days I feel like Wile E. Coyote with his tiny umbrella.

I’ve learned a lot, but the best part has been my dear readers.
You make it all worth while.
Finding each other in this giant virtual haystack is astonishing and awesome.
I’d hoped it would also lead to fame and fortune; that part hasn’t panned out, but who knows?
Till then, still broke and just a tad less obscure.1thanks6I’m thankful for all the awards I’ve received, but narrowing down other nominees has become too challenging as I find more and more astonishing bloggers whose insights thrill, stories chill, make me cry, laugh, smile, remember, make me think, wonder, and dream.
I love that you think of me, but my time and energy are limited so I’ll use them by responding to your comments and leaving some on your blogs, Tweeting, Retweeting, and sharing your posts.

I’d like to thank some of my most stalwart supporters, those of you who follow, take the time to press the Like button; who humble me by reblogging; Tweet and Retweet, share on Facebook, Google+, Reddit, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr and more. I find myself looking forward to your posts, comments, insights, loving your stories, glowing…
I just want to soak them all up.1bean2

So join me here, it’s easy to Follow via email or WordPress
and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada

Twitter @yadadarcyyada for some Hashtag parties:
Sundays: #SundayBlogShare @suzie81blog
Mondays: #MondayBlogs @MondayBlogs
Wednesdays: #wwwblogs (Women Writer Wednesdays),
and #BeWoW (Be Wonderful posts on Wednesdays @RonovanWrites)
Saturdays: #ArchiveDay
Any day with compassion: #1000Speak @1000Speak
Weekends: #WeekendBlogHop @WeekendBlogHop
Excellent ways to find posts and bloggers.

1climate14

1athank5So thank you all for a memorable time here on this big bouncy web.
Please don’t leave without sharing your blog link and info below,
so other bloggers can find you
and you can find other bloggers.

Keep checking back, who knows how long this party will last?

Posted in Chocolate, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

Go ahead, make my St. Patrick’s Day!

Posted on by D. Parker

irish10

I know what you’re thinking, was it a 3 or 4 leaf shamrock?
To tell you the truth in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself.
Seein’ as how St. Patrick’s Day is almost here…
people will be wearin’ the green, singing, dancing and enjoying libations,
you’ve got to ask yourself one question.
Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya, dear readers?
Go ahead, make my St. Patrick’s Day!

  • The 1st rule of St. Patrick’s Day, you do not talk about St. Patrick’s Day!

  • This St. Patrick’s Day I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

  • I’ve always depended upon the kindness of Irish strangers, except no one’s a stranger on St. Patrick’s Day.

  • Listen to them, children of the Irish, what beautiful music they make.

  • If you pour the beer, they will come.

  • I love the smell of shamrocks in the morning!

  • The Shamrock Redemption

  • I see Irish people. They’re everywhere. Some of them don’t even know they’re not Irish.irish4

  • Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Ireland anymore.irish8

  • May the Green be with you.

  • Nobody puts a wee Leprechaun baby in the corner.

  • What we’ve got here is a failure to excommunicate!

  • I feel the need, the need for Irish speed.

  • I’m still Irish, it’s the holiday that got less Irish!

  • Show me the blarney!

  • You do know how to whistle Toora Loora Loora, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.

  • We’re goin’ need a bigger bar.

  • Say hello to my little friend…they like to be called that now, the Leprechauns.

  • Life is like a box of Baileys chocolates, you just never remember what you got. 

  • Hope you’ve enjoyed my St. Patrick’s Day-goes-to-the-movies edition. Remember, what happens on St. Patrick’s Day stays on St. Patrick’s Day.irish9

     

Posted in Holidays, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

It’s Friday the 13th, Do You Know Where Your Serial Killer is?

Posted on by D. Parker

13th3With Friday the 13th and St. Patrick’s Day so close this year, will bad luck rub off or will the luck of the Irish prevail? Maybe a cage match between Jason Voorhees and a Leprechaun and may the best, er, whatever they are, win.

Are you among the millions who believe Friday the 13th is bad luck?

Are you especially careful on this day? Statistically, there are actually fewer accidents and injuries on Friday the 13th, most likely because people are more cautious.

  • Do you have any superstitions?

  • Do you carry a good luck charm or talisman?

  • Believe in signs?

  • Omens?

  • Portents?13th1

  • Do you wear a special outfit for a job interview or date?

  • Have a lucky symbol or charm with you when taking a test?

  • Not shower before the big game?

  • Bring a troll (hopefully just a toy one) with you to bingo?

  • Don’t trust black cats?

  • Never walk under a ladder?

  • Throw salt over your left shoulder if you spill salt?

  • Freak out if you break a mirror?

I can’t think of any of that I believe in, then again, I don’t really believe in luck either. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong in believing, unless it controls you.13th5

Why is Friday the 13th considered unlucky? Theories abound.

  • The combination of 13 being considered an unlucky number and Friday an unlucky day.

  • Books, movies, urban legends, numerology, deaths, etc. about it.

  • People coping with grief or trauma often try to find something to blame, perhaps superstitions seemed an easy scapegoat.

  • Humans always want an explanation or excuse.

Strange thing is, most countries and cultures don’t actually consider Friday the 13th unlucky…

Dear readers, do you do anything different on Friday the 13th?

I could suggest the new Friday the 13th movie released today,
I think it’s called:

Friday the 13th Part XXXV:
Jason Kills Again at his Seniors Assisted Living Home

13th10

Good luck…we’re all counting on you.

Posted in Autism, Books, Parenting, Uncategorized

There are worse things I could do

Posted on by D. Parker

Spring has sprung, 1anxiety4
the grass has riz
and everywhere
the birdies is.

That was my Dad’s way of letting us know, it was Spring.

On this beautiful Spring-like day, I’m settling for the sin of cleaning.
Cleaning, sinful? For someone with Asperger’s, who like things a certain way and don’t like changes, it’s a terrible transgression.
It’s all how we see things – making things fresh and clean or adding lots of weird smells and moving things, possibly moving them out of order?
I clean less than Martha Stewart, but my son, the Aspie thinks I clean way too much. Which got me thinking about balance.1anxiety8

1anxiety1Overcoming Anxiety and Depression on the Autism Spectrum by Lee A, Wilkinson, PhD (Jessica Kingsley Publishers), was a timely book to read today when I borrowed the digital copy from Netgalley.com for an honest review.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help people restore balance, whether they’re on the Autism Spectrum or not.
It’s about changing your way of thinking.
Taking a bad, sad, mad, or scary thought and changing how you look at it.
It’s like taking a old, clean sock, soaking it in equal parts water and vinegar and using it to clean your blinds and windows so you can see more clearly.
Don’t forget to use the other sock to dry them.

There’s nothing wrong with being sad, mad, or scared, but how we handle those thoughts can be like washing a cast iron pan with soap and water instead of coarse salt and water. We want it to last and reach its full potential, so don’t forget TLC (for the pan, some oil).

CBT helps manage and overcome difficulties, in a straightforward way, making a complicated situation less so.
Like when you use your blender, helpful, but now it’s messy. Instead of taking it apart to clean, or trying to clean around the blades, potentially causing more harm, pour in hot water and dish soap, lid on, then blend. Just rinse, dry and store.
1anxiety6

Wilkinson is excellent at explaining the anxiety, depression, and isolation caused by social skills deficits and cognitive issues, and how they can be alleviated and managed through CBT.
Too often people with anxiety or depression are told to: just stop, grow up, smarten up, man up, or they’re defective or attention-seeking, etc.
Trying to clean a cutting board used for cutting raw chicken with only soap and water or bleach. Think that fixes the problem?
1anxiety7No, but a lemon cut in half with salt on it would do the trick.

So there are worse things I can do than Spring cleaning…if we find the right balance, there’s little or no anxiety for my son and our home is sparkling.

For now.

Posted in Books, Political, Uncategorized

Would You Baptize an Extraterrestrial?

Posted on by D. Parker

1funny73

The world is full of sure people.
I don’t mean confident people.
I mean sure people – sure they’re right and those that don’t agree with them are wrong.

They know what is best. They know what is ‘the best’.
They know where you should live, what you should wear, drive, read, watch, worship, love, hate, etc.
I was more like that until someone made me unsure. In retrospect, they probably did me a favour, but it didn’t have to be so horrible. Ironically, they haven’t changed.
I knew what was right and wrong; I really knew what was wrong.
I didn’t know that what I didn’t know was more important than what I knew. I’m pretty sure about that.

Sure people don’t need to listen to other people, they’re already sure they’re right.
They’ve made up their minds. Often, not even facts will alter that.

I’m a voracious reader. I can tell you why I like or dislike a book, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.
Same goes for TV, movies, restaurants, clothes, technology.
I can recommend.
I can advocate.
I can oppose.
But only you can decide.

1bap2
Image/Random House

I was thinking of Sure People when reading a surprisingly funny and fascinating book, Would You Baptize An Extraterrestrial? (And Other Strange Questions from the Inbox at the Vatican Observatory) by two witty Jesuit astronomers, primarily involved in research, who try to answer all the wild and wacky questions posed to the Vatican, but in a conversational, refreshing, and unexpectedly, amusing style. Pope Francis said last year he would baptize a Martian…hmm, are they trying to prepare us for a coming invasion? 1bap5This book tries to show that religion and science don’t have to be at odds. People can believe in both. Do you think that’s true, dear readers? I certainly think we have more important things to worry about. We too often go for ‘or’ when we should use ‘and’. Economy and the environment, not or. Security and civil liberties, not or.

Which brought me to trust, can we trust when we’re not sure?
We can observe, listen, use our instincts and critical thinking, look for facts, question, see the world as it is…I prefer reality, if I want fantasy, I’ll watch TV or a movie, read a book or listen to governments.1bap1Which brings me back to, the Sures.  The more I learn, the more I hear, see, and observe, the more I wonder.

I’m only sure of so many things in this world: Love. Compassion. Hope. And cookies, and who knows, maybe those aren’t even what they seem.xf11

Posted in Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

Charming Savage Events

Posted on by D. Parker

1antihero4

When did we start cheering for the Black Hats instead of the White Hats?

Classic movies, TV and books were easier. There were good guys and bad guys. You knew your protagonist, even the flawed ones were always good and your antagonists were always bad.

Then the lines not only blurred, they splintered apart.
We started cheering for a serial killer because he kills bad guys the law can’t put away.
We felt empathy for a teacher with cancer who became a drug lord.
We couldn’t wait to visit a family of mobsters.

1antihero3
We used to know who the bad guys were and hated them, now we’re worried if they’ll be ok.

We seem charmed by the savage events we witness; repulsed yet mesmerized by the violence, greed, self-absorption on-screen, in politics, the news, and in books.

Maybe we pay more attention to product placement, ads, and merchandise with the glamorized ugly.

Have years of governments and corporations flaunting their corruption, immorality, greed, and dissolution made this all seem normal, even appealing?

Or are we simply being more honest, realizing that good people sometimes do bad things and bad people sometimes do good things?
Noble people can be ignoble and vice versa.

Flawed heroes,
or villains who are heroes in their head,
bad guys who we love,
are all gaining speed:
Tony Soprano, The Fonz, JR, Philip Marlowe, Jason Bourne,
Dirty Harry, Snape, Jack Bauer, House, V, The Lannisters, Hellboy,
Raymond ‘Red’ Reddington, Loki, Jax1antihero2
Stewie, Batman, Shrek, Blackadder, Daryl Dixon, Kirk, Raylan, Hawkeye Pierce, Gallaghers, Klaus, Scarlett O’Hara, Don Draper, Nancy Botwin, Tommy Gavin,

1antihero7
The Winchester boys, Kratos, Sherlock, Dexter, Walter White, Emily Thorne, Mal, Wolverine, Aiden Pearce, Captain Jack Sparrow, Holden Caulfield, Brody, Archie, Francis Underwood, Bane, Eric, Bill and well, most of True Blood characters…
and too many more to name.1antihero10

Strangely, while our governments and the news try to convince us that one group after another are evil and scary, and we agree, in theory, but applaud evil and scary, worshiping at the cult of ambiguous moral codes and hazy regard for the law.

They’re selling us Black Hats while we watch The Blacklist.

We’re told about atrocities, torture, and murder, to make us scared enough to toss away our personal liberties, while we wait to see who gets tortured and murdered on Game of Thrones. GOT4

Escapism? Entertainment? Or evolution?

Fleeing from reality or seeing its fuzzy reflection?

Dastardly is the new valiant.