Posted in Blogs, Uncategorized

Hang In There, Baby

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.
The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa
the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
~The Doctor (Doctor Who)

Posted in Blogs, Chocolate

After All, Tomorrow Is Another Day“Never put off
till tomorrow
what you can
do day after
just as well.”
-Mark Twain’m a pro at procrastination, no amateur stuff for me. I wish I could stop procrastinating, but I keep postponing it. do it when blogging, postponing writing posts – I tell myself it’s a lack of energy, lack of time, lack of ideas – I wish those were truths, but like most cases of procrastination, my real issue, fear. If I delay doing something, it can’t fail.

My procrastination is getting worse, becoming a chronic condition. it the amount of choices? Time inconsistency? Self-censorship? Constant interruptions? Laziness? Lack of focus? all put off doing things, but when does it move to acting against your best interests, your better judgement, when does procrastination take over your common sense?

What if I’m not even a pro procrastinator, but just an amateur stresstinator? way, I need to get out of my head, out of my own way, so I ignored the Scarlett O’Hara voice in my head, telling me to think about it tomorrow (after all, tomorrow is another day)… fiddle-dee-dee, I called/emailed/talked to who I needed (note I did not use the word “wanted”) to contact, and even wrote this post; giggling (mostly in my head), thinking of Carol Burnett’s “Went With The Wind”.

The cure for procrastination? I want to say chocolate (I know who my date is for Valentine’s Day)… thinking aside, it’s a mystery to me – I’ll push through the Crapathy – try for more: courage, conviction, and compassion in mind, some things are better when we wait for them.

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Self-Diagnostic…Buffering Support. From family, friends, groups, or bras  – support is important. Why? We all have saggy moments, even the world. I admit to feeling shaken and stirred – maybe it’s just too much time in the shallow end, I feel surrounded by ‘s’ words…

2. Salt. People have been using it for like 10,000 years, slightly longer than I’ve been alive. As a baby I had a saltlick in my crib. I wander the streets following salt trucks. I envy cats, dogs, and giraffes – they can freely lick humans for salt. I know it’s bad for me…my precious. I’m slowly desalting.

3. Selling. Everything seems to be for and/or on sale now. The new genius? Stephen Hawking selling cars.

4. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. One word review: Why? Just move on – Wonder Woman, Aquaman…just move on.

5. Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart. I have so many questions about their Potluck Dinner Parties. Who’s their demographic? Who’s made most uncomfortable watching this?

6. Sorry. Never too late to say sorry, or is it, you decide.

7. Stupid. A lifestyle for some. We hate feeling stupid, it’s one of the top reasons we won’t admit to making mistakes. We can learn.

8. Self. With a silent ‘ish’?

9. Sugar. We broke up by text last week then it sent me sugar roses and chocolates, so we’re still together, but seeing less of each other.

10. Stress. Yes. And plenty of it.   

Squirrel! Sorry, what were we talking about?

11. Sherlock. Enjoying the twisting labyrinth of Sherlock’s mind, the villainous machinations of his enemies, the long-suffering humour of Watson, then, it’s over again.

12. Sense and Sensibility (and Seamonsters?). I think it’s about time to Jane Austen myself silly.

13. Sarcasm. An oft misunderstood art form.

14. Superheroes. Supernatural. My Spidey senses tell me we can all be heroes, even superheroes.

15. Self-publishing. Haven’t tried this yet, but want to. Been writing and reading  – I see a book review post in the future, until then

16. Scared. Silly.

17. Sad. Nothing wrong with being sad sometimes. Being happy or acting like it all the time doesn’t make everything ok. Today is Blue Monday, apparently the most depressing day of the year (I think Friday will ‘trump’ Monday a million times over). Lots of cool blue things, lalalalalala Smurf a happy song…

18. A Series of Unfortunate Events. First, staggeringly stunning books by Lemony Snicket (sounds like a real name)…Then a cool movie – I bet Meryl Streep can think of way more unfortunate events nowadays…Presently, a quirky, impertinent series starring Neil Patrick Harris and Patrick Warburton. I’m so desperately happy it’s so desperately sad?

19. Saturday.                     Sunday.     Smonday. All superb days of any week.

 20. Simplicity. Striving to live simply, in the here and now – with all manner of stuff

While my self-diagnostic is buffering and it continues…What are your favourite ‘s’ words and why?

Posted in Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

Crapathy Stressed out. Every day we hear how people are stressed out, exhausted, scattered, distracted, besieged, anxious, under pressure, just generally overwhelmed. Times haven’t changed, just magnified, still going in circles; instead of Keeping Up With The Joneses, we’re trying to Keep Up With The Kardashians.

Our Amygdala’s primary job is the processing of memory, emotional reactions, and decision-making, that’s a lot to handle, so she can get a little overstimulated. Her nanny, the Prefrontal Cortex is all like, whoa, slow down, Amy, you need a time out. But what if chronic stress has hacked PreCor, making it too weak to calm Amy down, stop her from some unrestrained Brains Gone Wild moments? As my fav song by The Tragically Hip says, we Blow At High Dough, that’s us, going too fast, burning up, burning out.

My growing, life-changing magic of apathy toward crap, a sort of crapathy, has me bored, yes, but also ashamed, ashamed of our frivolity, and at myself for being any part of it. I can’t change my hyper-awareness of all the crap, but I can change my perception, actions, and reactions.
Many experts, including renowned time researcher and sociologist, Professor John P. Robinson, known as Father Time, agree that not having enough time is actually an illusion, self-imposed, many people have more leisure time than ever before. Then why do we feel so overwhelmed? Maybe it’s all the things we’ve been sold to improve and simplify our lives. Really, why, when complicated means more money. up I wanted to be Nancy Drew…instead I was Donna Parker. Both outrageously ignored repeated and dire warnings while being fiercely loyal, generous, and independent. Both wore, gasp, dungarees.

My dungarees and detective cap on, I find my courage and follow the clues, to investigate what’s working in my life and what isn’t; I join the ranks of those who couldn’t resist the siren call of a mystery:
Nancy Drew, Miss Marple, Monk, The Scooby Gang The Hardy Boys Sherlock and Watson Sookie Stackhouse, Donna Parker, McCloud, Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster

Mulder and Scully Sam Spade, Veronica Mars, Honey West, Hannah Swensen The Bobbsey Twins, Father Brown, Phryne Fisher Temperance Brennan (Bones), Alex Cross, Ellery Queen, Mannix, Elvis Cole, Murdoch, Quincy Patrick Jane, Mike Hammer, Cadfael, Cherry Ames, Cagney and Lacey, MacMillan and Wife (she had a name, Sally), Stephanie Plum, Kay Scarpetta, Columbo

Jane Tennison, Lord Peter Wimsey, Audrey Parker Clarice Starling, Daisy Dalrymple, Phillip Marlowe, Peter Gunn, Nick & Nora Charles, Frost, Dexter Magnum, The Harts, Nero Wolfe, Jessica Fletcher Foyle, Poirot, Jim Rockford, Perry Mason, Jessica Jones, Houdini and Doyle?

Inspector Clouseau, Castle Trixie Beldon, Rizzoli & Isles, Dupin, Sally Lockhart, The Girl Who…well, you know what she did.

My Cases So Far:

1. The Clue in the Diary (decoded, started a blog).
2. The Secret of the Old Biological Clock (unraveled, acceptance).
3. The Haunted What Ifs (the voices of my past fade into the void, including but not limited to: family, friends, Prince, Bowie, The Tragically Hip aka The Hip, Spirit of the West, The Ramones, etc. Yet I have to smile, because they happened).
4. The Sign of the Twisted Scandals (solved, don’t care).
5. The Mystery of the Dating Dilemma (more probing needed).

6. The Secret in the Old Attic (aka my head, ongoing).
7. The Password Puzzle (deciphered, but it’s a secret).
8. The Aging Writer Mystery (further review).
9.  The Ghost of Broken Dreams (phantom case).
10. The Clue of the Missing Keys (found, Marie Kondo organized my life

Broke, obscure, and chronically ill, I have probable cause to get discouraged and depressed. 1nd9

It’s easy to believe the voices that bludgeon me, sticking a knife into my self-confidence, slamming an axe into my feelings of worth, poisoning my pride, shooting holes in my dignity. The suspects are many, with means, motive, and opportunity, so I have to solve the mystery, before it’s too late! probably didn’t think you had time to read this whole post, so like me, maybe you need to Go Nancy Drew Yourself!

Posted in Books, Uncategorized

Is A Worry Worrying You?

Wo1worry2rry has been an unwanted passenger for too much of my life journey. I’ve tried to make worry useful so it doesn’t drag me down.

Not that the world doesn’t give us a lot to worry about – wars, disease, poverty, hunger, terror, storms and more. Worry is a passive by-product of fear. When we have a fear about something and either don’t know what to do or can’t do anything, we worry.

Unlike vampires worry doesn’t need to be invited in, it just shoves its way into your thoughts, your good times.
There’s a lovely book, Is a Worry Worrying You? by Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz with engaging illustrations by Marie Letourneau (Tanglewood Press) that beautifully explains worry and gives easy suggestions how to overcome it. A children’s book with lessons for adults as well. They give a physical representation of worry as a monster, and give ideas to contain the beast.1worry1

Here are my worry tamers:


1. Put it to work.  Find ways to make things better or at least better for right now.
2. Have fun. Worry hates fun and shrinks from it.
3. Compartmentalize it. Place the worry in a box in your brain.
4. Share it. Sometimes when you can talk to someone about your worry, the worry shrinks or goes away altogether.
5. Ignore it. Show worry that you’re not going to give it any attention.

When in doubt go for the 5 rule.
Will this worry matter in 5 minutes?
Or 5 hours?
5 days?
5 months?
5 years?
More often than not the answer is no.

If you live through your worst fears and they happen you’ve gone through it more than once, if it never happens, you went through it for nothing.

Next time a worry tries to hitch a ride, dump it, who needs the worry or worries?1xfiles4

Posted in Books, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized



Once taboo, people now talk openly about their therapy, about getting help, etc. They even go on national TV to be blamed and shamed, the host handing them a monogrammed handkerchief to wipe their mascara-smeared tears away as they expose their innermost secrets for open consumption as people boo and clap and nod sympathetically. It’s like a modern Colosseum of anxiety.

Sadly, a lot of what we think of as psychotherapy or therapy is derived from what we’ve been given on TV, at the movies, or in books, etc. While it can be vastly entertaining, it’s mostly outdated or riddled with myths and half-truths or worse.


The Sopranos     In Treatment     Frasier      Soap

Beyond Therapy    Couples Retreat    M*A*S*H

What About Bob? (Baby Steps)   Nuts

Mad Men     Dr. Phil     Don Juan DeMarco

Beautiful Dreamers    Equuus   Frances

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest    Monk 


The Sessions     The Sixth Sense     Numb  

 Lost Angels    Sucker Punch    Anger Management 

    Analyze This    Analyze That    K-Pax

     Awakenings     Panic    Oz     Go On

Silence of the Lambs    Web Therapy 

 Ordinary People    An Unmarried Woman  

Charlie Brown    A Dangerous Method    Mumford

1thera3Arrested Development    High Anxiety    Good Will Hunting 

I Dream of Jeannie     Precious

The Prince of Tides    Austin Powers     Girl Interrupted

Sex lies and videotape    Hope Springs

The Bob Newhart Show and so many more…

Perhaps entertaining, but fictional.

We know real hospitals aren’t like on Grey’s Anatomy, House, Scrubs, Doogie Howser or ER.

Being in the White House isn’t like West Wing or VEEP; although it would be cooler.

Crime isn’t solved as easily or neatly as on Elementary, CSI, Law & Order or well, any crime drama, ever.

Layout 1So why would we think therapy is like what we see on TV? These aren’t documentaries.

I’m pleased more books such as, Therapy Breakthrough: Why Some Psychotherapies Work Better Than Others by Michael R. Edelstein, PH.D., Richard K. Kujoth, ED.D, and David Ramsay Steele, PH.D. (Open Court) are being published.

Don’t let the long title fool you, this book is actually an easy read.  This makes a strong pitch for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with practical examples, science-based information that is productive, interesting, comprehensive, as well as humorous.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and gasp, maybe learned something. Insert dramatic music here.

This book explains so well the differences between older and newer therapies and more importantly, why one works better than the other.

Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness or insanity. There’s no disgrace in wanting your life to be better and asking for help.  In this mixed-up, overwhelming world is it any wonder there are whole self-help sections in book stores. But remember, find out what feels comfortable for you.


Therapy’s not passive, or rambling on and on and on about your problems, childhood or traumas, or all happy thoughts nor is it a confrontation blame and shame game. Those tricks are just to pander to an audience, get ratings, get money from advertisers, sell books, merchandise, etc.

Therapy shouldn’t be about big business, keeping people in business, or funny business. It should always be about what’s the best interests of the person who needs help.

If done properly therapy is simply another resource to help you do the work.

Tonight I think I’ll  probably enjoy my favourite form of therapy which usually involves books, TV, or movies…maybe High Anxiety?