‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring, er, you find a rhyme…
I’m really not that witty.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Oops, don’t have a chimney, hmmm…
Oh well, Santa’s magic, right, so who cares?

The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
(your business what you’re doing there).
While visions of shopping malls danced
in their wallets and heads.

I in my Soft Kitty PJs and the cat in the hat
Had just settled down to read,
maybe eat some cookies…
How about that?

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed (sprang is a complete exaggeration),
To see what was the matter.

It was just some drunk guy,
With his nose all aglow,
Shouting and singing,
‘Let it go, let it snow, let it go…’

The moral of this story is plain to see,
Please don’t sing outside my house
At Christmas, or any other time,
Even on key!!!


‘Twas The Month Before #Christmas …Again

Posted in Blogs, Books, Chocolate, Family, Holidays, Movies, Televison

The Phantom of the Blogging Tips

1funny1068If you are reading this blog there’s a good chance you’re not just a reader, you could also be a blogger yourself…or one of my family or friends (Hi family and friends!).

What I mean is, many people who read blogs are also bloggers who send their creativity out there, into the universe, in one form or another, through an intricate web.

Yet too often, The Phantom of the Blogging Tips (er, Blogera? No? That’s not a thing?) is inside your mind, telling you how to blog instead of letting you find your own voice.


 So before you’re past the point of no return:

1. Don’t second-guess yourself, there are literally millions of others out there willing to do that for you. Go with your instincts.

2. Before you post you may stop and think: will my readers like this, hate this, be offended, not press ‘Like’, will Unfollow, or what if they send an army of robot ants to carry me off in my sleep? Let me help, the answers are: Hopefully. Possibly. It’s a distinct possibility. Maybe. Hopefully not. And it’s the internet, stranger things have happened.


3. You’ll do a post you think is amazing, you’ll press publish (very important step, many bloggers forget this one) and tumbleweeds will roll across your blog and you’ll wonder, what did I do wrong? Probably nothing, most likely it was WordPress..again.

4. Your posts could be awesome, but people are busy and there’s an infinite amount of information out there…or they just can’t find your posts.  Get out there and be your own Number One Fan (but not in a creepy Stephen King way).


5. You may never be Freshly Pressed or gets tons of Likes,  or receive awards, or become an overnight sensation…don’t compare yourself to others, it will suck the joy out of blogging (and life).

6. Don’t be afraid to try something new or different. Tell us about a movie, a book, something you cook, draw, paint, build, remember, did, crafted, give us advice (we might not take it, doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear it)…anything, but it’s your voice we want to hear, authentic, not copied, or some regurgitated whatchamathingies we’ve read everywhere else.


7. Even if aliens are stealing your likes, keep trying, they’ll give up at some point or move on to another planet.

8. Expect the unexpected, roll with it then work it into a post, like the other day I heard two guys whispering, ‘I’d tap that MILF’ – naturally I looked around to see who they were talking about, then realized it was me. The feminist side of me was appalled and outraged, but the feminine side of me was all-Southern-belle-I-do-declare-swoony. Then they ruined it by adding, ‘Or is she GILF?’. I so don’t look old enough to be a granny! OK, but maybe a cool one.


9. Keep a good sense of humour, balance, and if you can, relax, it’s just your diary you’re letting the whole world read, ok, when I say it like that it does sound kind of terrifying. But remember, when in doubt, chocolate out!

10.  Find your own style, your own groove, your own path, your own magic. Cookie cutters are for Christmas, be yourself.


11. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This applies in blogging too.

12. So ignore all The Phantoms of the Blogging Tips, even me. You can do this.


Posted in Blogs, Christmas, Family, Political, Uncategorized

1,000,000 views can’t be wrong aka does Santa believe in you?


Thank you all my wonderful readers for pushing me past 100,000 views. The title counts the views from all the other blogs I follow and who follow me…Am I close? It’s probably much higher. It’s not about the numbers for me, but I admit, seeing that number was neat.

When I started this blog over a year ago I had no idea the best part of blogging would be finding other bloggers, tweeters (is that a word?), readers, etc.

You have made my world brighter, thank you.

Well, the big moment is almost here, the ultimate reveal, have you been naughty or nice? And what does that even mean?
Maybe you don’t believe in labels.
Or maybe the naughty/nice thing is a sliding scale.
This could be like watching the Hoarders and deciding your home is actually quite clean, no need to dust again.
Worst Drivers, hey, my parking is awesome.
Real Housewives, when was the last time you threw a drink in someone’s face?
No terrorist acts, check.
Didn’t commit any illegal acts, check.
Didn’t shut down the government, check.
I may have this thing locked down.

Maybe not as important for you to believe in Santa as it is for Santa to believe in you.1athank5

Watching the news it’s easy to think the naughty list is longer than the nice list. Terrorism, hostage takings, rape, murder, abuse, corruption, racism, sexism, misogyny, neglect, destroying the planet, disease, poverty, hunger, war…Truth or skewed? A ‘if it bleeds it leads’ version of reality? If naughty is winning, we’ll have to work harder in 2015 to push the nice agenda.
1athank3This Christmas, whether you celebrate or not, believe or not, give yourself and others the gift of peace, love, tolerance, compassion, understanding, and above all, hope…keeping in mind cookies, also nice.

All the best to you and yours in this the holiday season and all the year through! Merry Christmas and a safe, happy, and healthy 2015 to all!!!


Posted in Christmas, Food, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

We are Santa’s elves

1elves11Unseasonably warm, it seemed a beautiful day to go for a long walk. Little did I know chaos had broken out at The North Pole. As I wandered off to do errands and go to the library, behind the scenes, disgruntled elves had declared war on Christmas! Tired of deplorable working conditions, the Elves went on strike.

Santa seemed bemused, telling the media, “I’ve spent more money on elves, especially Veteran elves than any other Santa in the history of Santas.”

The elves shot back with a list of demands.

“We’re tired of being pushed around!” Chief SpokesElf Snowball exclaimed. “We don’t have glamorous jobs like fighting to save Middle-earth, making cookies in trees, being a warrior in Hyrule, or saving Harry Potter, we just make toys!”

Other elves murmured their agreement.

“We love making toys, but day in and day out, it’s torture!” Snowball climbed up on a festive stool to point at the growing crowd of elves. “No one talks about the harassment we endure when we go into town, we can’t even walk down the street without hearing, Hey Sugarplum, or Twinkletoes, Peppermint Buns, Angel Ears, Sprinklepants.” Snowball sat down heavily on the stool, head in hands, as if unable to carry on.

Another elf patted Snowball on the back and continued, “We want to work, but we have to sing the whole time and some elves, I won’t mention any names, cough cough, Buddy, sing loud for all to hear, off key. And why does Santa’s Workshop have to be at The North Pole, why not Aruba or Belize?” Holly sighed and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. “We have a mandatory diet of cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, candy corn, do you know what all these gumdrops are doing to my diet?”

Cries of Here, Here! and One Two Three Four Eating Cookies is a Bore! rang through the workshop.

“We have to wear these outfits all the time,” Holly sighed, pointing down at her tacky elf outfit. “And now they’re loaning us out to sit on shelves, what’s with that?”1elves8

But while the elves were rallying, the reindeer escaped and went flying around the world, stuffing themselves on fast food and samples at Costco; getting liquored up before knocking down unsuspecting pedestrians. This is where I come in, one minute I was walking, the next I was on the ground, in the mud. The reindeer didn’t even stop, it kept talking on it’s cellphone, at least, I think it was a reindeer.

With only 19 sleeps before the Big Night, let’s hope Santa and the Elves can work this out.

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Holidays, Uncategorized

‘Twas the month before Christmas

‘Twas the month before Christmas

‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring, er, you find a rhyme…
I’m just not that witty.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Oops, don’t have a chimney, hmmm…
Oh well, Santa’s magic, who cares?

The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
(your business what you’re doing there)
While visions of shopping malls danced
in their wallets and heads.

I in my Soft Kitty PJs and the cat in the hat
Had just settled down to read,
maybe eat some cookies…
How about that?

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed (ok, sprang is an exaggeration),
To see what was the matter.

It was only a drunk guy,
With his nose all aglow,
Shouting and singing,
Let it go, let it snow, let it go…

The moral of this story is plain to see
Please don’t sing outside my house
At Christmas or any other time,
Even on key…


Posted in Books, Food, Uncategorized

There’s No Place Like Home


Carpe diem, forget that, what’s Latin for chocolate? Carpe chocolate?
Food is a consuming force, we need it to survive, but that doesn’t explain our passionate and sometimes bad romance with it. The complicated relationship we have with food gets more thorny each day…thinking about food, taking pictures of food, posting pictures of food – we’re foodies addicted to food porn; restaurants outnumber churches, hospitals, schools, libraries, bookstores, and gyms all combined…we talk about food and use food language constantly.

The Dirty Dozen:
1food41. Couch Potato, I’m sure they prefer Sofa Spud.
2. Spill the beans, bean counter, full of beans, Beans beans the musical fruit the more you eat the more you…
3. Bring home the bacon…mmmmm, bacon.
4.One tough cookie, wait, who likes tough cookies?
5. A piece of cake, icing on the cake, ok, now I just want cake.
6. Buy a lemon, If life gives you lemons make lemonade – what’s wrong with lemons?
7. The Big Cheese, cream of the crop, cheesy, no use crying over spilled milk, butter someone up, bread and butter – dairy should have its own section.
8. Good egg, Bad egg, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, I don’t know egg-actly what they’re trying to say, but I want an omelette.
9. Nutty as a fruitcake, wait, isn’t it made of fruit? You can tell how much I eat fruitcake.
10. Easy as pie, maybe to eat, but not so much to bake.
11. Cool as a cucumber, why not, cool as a watermelon?
12. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially important when they used leeches.

Is food better for us made at home? Depends how you make it.
Does food taste better at home? Depends who makes it.
Is food cheaper to make at home? Depends, sometimes yes and sometimes no.1food1

In this lovely and mouth-watering, yum-now-I-want-to-cook book, Better Made at Home by renowned food goddess Estérelle Payany (Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers) we’re given over 75 healthier, sometimes more affordable options to traditionally store-brought foods, including: ketchup, marshmallows, nutella, yogurt, pizza, potato chips, chocolate milk powder, tortilla chips, etc. Recipes, suggestions, vintage illustrations, and photos combine to remind us once again that new, convenient, and fast doesn’t necessarily mean better.

Hmmm, I’m guessing people without food are even more obsessed with it than we are.


Posted in Books, Holidays, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

The Devil Made Me Do It


We certainly have a love/hate relationship
with The Devil.
Mostly, we love to hate him.
Although, we also love to reference him in:
movies, TV, books, Halloween costumes,
music, idioms, cartoons, legends,
even basing characters on him…
now, let’s put a smile on that face!

Had a Devil of a Time finding some of these:

1. Speak of the devil – if a friend says this when you show up, you have to wonder.
2.  Better the Devil you know –  seems like you just don’t want to take a chance.
3. Devil looks after his own – that seems fair.
4. Devilishly handsome – could have also gone with ‘hot’.
5. Ride with the Devil – no thanks, I’m guessing he doesn’t follow the rules of the road.
6. Devil of a time can’t we just say difficult?
7. Give the Devil his due –  has he earned it?1devil148. Devil-may-care attitude – maybe it’s just confidence or a certain Je ne sais quoi.
9. Tell the truth and shame the Devil – or tell the truth without shaming or blaming.
10. The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal wait, where’s The Walking Dead located again?
11. Between the devil and the deep blue sea quite a Quagmire, giggity.
12. Have the Devil’s own luck – Can I take the luck, but skip what I have to do to get it?
13.The Devil made me do it – yes, yes, excellent, this one covers all manner of sins.

1devil7Satan, Beelzebub, Antichrist, Leviathan, Tempter, Belial, Lucifer, King of Tyre, The Dark One, Evil Incarnate…The Devil by any other name would smell, probably like sulphur. Whether you believe he’s real, or a story, or an allegory, I enjoyed exploring the nature of his game in The Devil and Philosophy edited by Robert Arp; one of the amazingly addictive Popular Culture and Philosophy series from Open Court. Filled to the brimstone with clever deep thinkers wickedly examining The Devil in all his forms and the depths he will descend to; let’s be clear, he obviously wants to get our goat.

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween! Mine started off with Halloween treats for breakfast, I couldn’t help myself, The Devil made me do it.1devil1