#WordPress Hates Me, How About You?
WordPress hates me
I don’t know why…
sometimes it makes me
want to cry.They do not like me here or there,
they do not like me anywhere.
They steal my Likes
That’s just, yikes!
Screwing up my posts,
Hurts the mosts.
Fellow bloggers they unfollow
A giant bitter pill to swallow.
Ruining posts with unpaid ads
Really, really makes me sadz.
They give us new stuff
that don’t work.
We say enuff!
They go beserk!So what if each blog post ain’t a pearl?
On them haters I’m gonna twirl…They do not like me early or late…
What you gonna do, haters gonna hate.
They do not like me here or there.
They do not like me anywhere.
They don’t like bloggers who point out their vices…
Each day on their platform is a crisis…
They may like you.
You will see.
as they hope
you pay each fee…I would not,
condone ruthless greed…
makes me think I do not need (WP).
WordPress hates me,
how about you?Aka I need more cake…
before I go jump in a lake!
There’s No Crying In Blogging!
I’m just a girl. Standing in
front of her readers. Asking them to love me…well, love my blogging. Changing times, uncertain times, confusing times, trying times, for the world and even for blogging. Just as truth and facts are going “out of style”, so is blogging apparently. Reality seems to be a thing of the past – we don’t lie anymore, we tell alternative facts; we don’t blog anymore, we influence.
Sigh, not all change is good.
1. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful blog friendship.
Of all the blog joints, in all the towns, in all the world, you walked into my blog…Thank you.
2. In blogging no one can hear you scream.
Blog posts hit the blogosphere with a resounding splash or a deafening crash. Either way, if you did your best, move on to the next.
3. I see blog people.
I see blog people. How often do you see them? Every time I open my email! I love your posts, but there can be too much of a good thing and my inbox turns into a horror story (and I don’t have time to read them). Deep breaths – if I keep doing beginnings, the end will visit me eventually.
4. I’m big, it’s the blogs who got small!
Readers won’t always ‘get’ you, or agree, your jokes might fall flatter than a pancake on Pancake Tuesday https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/17/well-always-have-pancakes/ Offended, appalled, argumentative, mean, shocked, non-facty, and downright grumpy – welcome to the internet!
5. There’s no crying in blogging!
In blogging and life, you might sometimes feel like crying, but it just makes your eyes puffy and your keyboard drippy. On a side note, there will be crying if you go to experience Manchester By The Sea, pretty sure it was secretly sponsored by Kleenex. I’m not big on awards, but this movie and Casey Affleck, Lucas Hedges, and Michelle Williams should get a bunch anyway. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen, so real I forgot I was watching a movie, I felt like I was there; it hurt and healed, just as life hurts and heals. Just thinking about it, there is crying in blogging.
6. I’m going to make you a blog offer you can’t refuse.
Follow my blog. I dare you. I double dog dare you to ‘like’ my post. Share blog posts you enjoy so others can enjoy them as well. So shines a good deed in a weary blogging world.
7. That’ll do, bloggers. That’ll do.
Simplicity, honesty, heart-wrenching love, and singing mice, Babe https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/22/babe/ reminds us of those moments in friendships, relationships, blogging, work, loss, leisure, love, when you know, you just know, that’ll do, that’ll do.
8. You make me want to be a better blogger.
I hope people like my blogging as is, not as they want it to be, but I don’t want to bang out whatever, just to say I posted something, so, you make me want to be a better blogger. Thank you.
9. Frankly, my dears, I don’t give a blog.
Your life is a story – drama, comedy, romance, apocalyptic dystopian nightmare – it may not be a bestseller, but get out there and live it like tomorrow isn’t another day!
10. I wish I knew how to quit you, blogging.
Time, money, energy, lack of response, no one beating down my door to make me rich and famous (I’d settle for MCM – moderately comfortable monetarily), all reasons, after almost 4 years of blogging I think of quitting, often. Yet I keep coming back, why, days counted less in numbers, more in heartbeats of community, contact, and comfort.
11. You’re going to need a bigger blog.
One size never fit all. Whether you watch The Super Bowl, The Puppy Bowl, The Zombie Bowl, The Kitten Bowl, or just make yourself a bowl of soup (or no soup for you!), do what you think works for you, in life and blogging. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/01/lazy-super-bowl-sundae/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/08/dear-luke-we-need-to-talk-darth/ Blog advice can be so definite – what if you’re already doing what they say and it isn’t working, what then?
12. Dude, where’s my blog?
So many blogs, so little time. How do you get others to find your blog? Social media? Yes! Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Reddit, Instagram, share and attend awesome blog parties and linky parties, a great way to meet and greet other bloggers.
13. The Blogging Game.
One word, one sentence, one post, one book, one show, one movie, one moment can change a life forever. Play at your own risk.
14. What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.
People may not have read the books you review or watched the TV shows or movies you watch; your readers may not share your political or lifestyle views; don’t travel or want to; don’t have any interest in your recipes, children, or pets…the list goes on. Get busy blogging, don’t over think it.
15. Blog On, Blog Off.
Even Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid would agree, there are different blogging styles, rhythms, and choices. First learn to blog, then learn to fly.
16. I love the smell of blogging in the morning.
The best thing about blogging? Other bloggers and readers. Take time to stop and smell the blogging.
17. Your golden blogging ticket
Blog like there’s nobody reading in your world of pure imagination.
18. If you blog it they will come.
Content, content analysis, stats, SEO and other blogging resources probably won’t magically get you a viral monster cult following. Even if it does, readers can be fickle…
19. Why don’t you come up and read me some time?
The number one rule of The Blog Club? Have a blog and never, never stop talking about it, be a shameless social media self-promoting bloghussy, like me!
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Where I’m endlessly baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The desert where I wander: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google, not nearly as fun as it sounds: https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts
20. Today I consider myself to be luckiest blogger on the face of the earth…
I started blogging to relax, resurrect my love of writing, and to be rich/famous – close to 600 posts, 225,000 plus views, 12,000 ‘followers’ later, well, at least I’ve reignited my love of writing.
21. Tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the bloggers.
Blogging, like politics can be a popularity contest. If you lie to be popular, to get what you want, then what you want isn’t what you need, i.e., you need chocolate, but you shouldn’t lie to get it…begging is a different story.
22. We’ll always have blogging.
Life and blogging can feel like our own personal Groundhog Day https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/02/02/groundhog-day/ – whether we see our own shadow or not, whether it repeats until we learn something or not, I Got You, Bloggers and Readers…we’ll always have blogging.
Dear Santa, I Can Explain…12 Links of Christmas Blog Party
With the Christmas lights on, it’s less dangerous. Here we are now, entertain us. I feel dazed, not contagious. Here we are now, entertain us…I’m worse at what I do best And for this gift, I feel blessed… Our little blogging group has always been. And always will until the end. HoHo, HoHo, HoHo, HoHo, HoHo, HoHo. Ummm, Smells like Christmas spirit?
In a kind of Welcome-to-the-Christmas-Jungle-type way, it’s been a strange few weeks, so Dear Santa, I Can Explain….
1. I’ve fought a prolonged battle with a vicious cold, it almost won, until I released my dragons, ok, it was chicken soup, but it was epic.
2. I overindulged in great gently used ‘finds’, tea with seniors, and raffles – if loving Christmas Bazaars is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
3. I fell out of bed (and not in a fun way), luckily no serious injuries, but it sure knocked the stuffing out of me.
4. I was baking for Christmas and I had to taste, right? I couldn’t serve it or give it away without tasting, right?
5. Got the results of my colonoscopy, turns out my colon is a trophy wife, looks beautiful but doesn’t work.
I love Christmas, always have, but things have changed, become confusing. I feel like I’m being visited by the ghosts of rampant, raging, unrestrained consumerism – past, present, and future. The wraiths of oblivious conspicuous consumption, the specters of overt displays of wealth swirling around, I feel chilled, haunted, saddened – what could all that money be used for, who could be saved, cured, comforted, how much joy could be spread to so many instead of so few? This time of year isn’t about gifts, lights, food, carols, it’s about people, everywhere, whether they celebrate the holiday or not. How can anyone admire, emulate, and/or trust those who consume without a care?
Having lost so many of those I love in the past few years, the holiday season has more and more become a time of remembrance. Most of the memories are wonderful, but some are tinged with regret and loss; I listen to the carols, the songs sing, yet part of my heart wishes for more as it swells with remembers.
Here’s my Christmas card to you, dear readers. Let’s share some tidings of comfort and joy. Please join my 12 Links of Christmas Blog Party. It’s ongoing (why put a time limit on fun?), so keep on coming back right up to and after Christmas! The posts you link to don’t have to be Christmas-related and I’m not going to ask you visit other bloggers, comment, or share, but please, if you feel so inclined, give to others: press Like, reblog, share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, StumbleUpon, etc. No badges (we don’t need no stinking badges).
If this is your first time joining a blog party, I’ll be gentle. Cut and paste your link. Then in the comment box below, paste that link and tell the readers and other bloggers a bit about your blog and/or yourself (if you wish, not necessary). Leave up to 12 links (one per box please). Here are my 12 Links of Christmas…
I’d also like you to tell us what brings you comfort and joy at Christmas or anytime. Here’s an example, I get comfort and joy from doing nice things for people, little things, they’re not truly selfless acts (anyone remember that Friends episode?), because I enjoy them. I also love Christmas movies, the one place in the world where I’m pretty sure everything is going to work out well. Reading, walking, baking, board games, and I find my joy of writing has returned, creeping in. Of course, I find comfort and joy in wonderful son, family and friends, including my amazing blogging family.
I know everyone is busy, but please, join my holly jolly Christmas Blogging Party!
Nog nog. Who’s there? Virtual eggnog or hot cocoa (with mini marshmallows), take a sip, dip a biscotti or cookie.
Happy Holidays and take time to enjoy what really counts.
Through The Blog Storm
Through the blog storm,
we reach the shore
We give it all
but they want more
And we wait for views
With or without you
Can’t blog with
or without views
And you blog yourself all day
And you blog, and you blog
And you blog yourself away.
If this had audio you’d know I sang it just like Bono of U2, it’s like we’re twins, ok, maybe closer to the Swedish Chef from The Muppets, but it’s all good.
Blogging is a lot like cooking. Some people do it instinctively. A pinch of this. A dash of that. Somehow they know just the right blend. Others follow a precise recipe.
1. First thing you need to decide, what kind of cooking, I mean, blogging do you enjoy? Home-cooked, formal, informal, sugar-free, spicy, sweet, sour, no artificial flavours or colours, grilling, gourmet, fusion? Do you want to indulge your readers with moist, sweet chocolate brownies (my secret, melt the butter, let it cool then slowly add it to the mixture) or spicy chipolte chicken taco with guacamole (drooling)…
2. With blogging, like cooking you need an appreciative audience. Those who don’t just eat to live, but live to eat. Those who don’t just like blogs, but love them.
3. Posts can fill up our email like a meal can fill up our stomachs, but too much of a good thing can be overwhelming, sometimes a snack is the way to go.
4. Processed food, junk food, fast food, sure, they call themselves food, but really, food by any other name is not always food…same goes for blogging.
5. The blogging community is family style dining, so just dig in, reach over, around, share, like, join in, engage! Don’t just invite others to your table, sit at theirs too! Eat up! Even indulge in blog parties…
Jason – https://aopinionatedman.com/
Elena – http://blogsharelearn.com/blogsharelearn-linky-party-may-1316/
Niki – https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/
Shawna and Shareen #LinkYourLife – http://honeyquill.com/
Danny – http://dreambigdreamoften.co/
Carolina – https://yesterdayafter.com/
Vicky – http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/
Pop Down Under – https://amommasview.wordpress.com/
Janice and all the lovely ladies that give us
Friday Blogger’s Pit Stop and Inspire Me Monday –
6. Don’t think if people will: Like it, share it, reblog it, tweet it, agree, disagree, hate you, be a troll under your blogging bridge, or if you’ll end up looking like Mr. Bean with a turkey on your head. Just do what you want to do…that turkey looks good on you.
7. When you don’t have time to prepare a meal, aka a post, or you need some comfort food or a comfort blogging advice post…
8. Sometimes you slave over a hot stove aka computer, plate your hopefully tasty content, and serve it up….you wait for readers to gobble it up, but sometimes they never come to the table, even when called repeatedly. Maybe they’re busy, after all, when they open their email, it’s like a giant buffet has been served up, how much can they possibly eat? Maybe they’ve already eaten or are dining elsewhere. It happens. Try again.
9. Get out there, be a shameless social media self-promoting bloghussy (like me), most of all, enjoy!
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Endlessly baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The desert where I wander: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google, not nearly as fun as it sounds: https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts
10. You can tell someone how to cook or blog, but that doesn’t mean they can do it, or do it like you. Or should. Cook what you want, blog what you want, eat what you want. Taste life.
My best advice about blogging and cooking? Don’t miss the donut by looking through the hole. Dear readers, any favourite blogging tips or recipes you can’t live with or without? Bon Appetit!
Take it Easy
Well I’m a-runnin’
(ok, walking quickly)
down the road,
tryin’ to loosen
I’ve got seven
on my mind
Four million that want to own me, two that want to stone me, one that could be a friend of mine.
Take it easy, take it easy.
Don’t let the sound of your own words drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can. Don’t even try to understand. Just find a place to make your stand, and take it easy…
Whether in blogging, work, love, parenting, friendship…The Eagles (goodbye Glenn Fry) had it right – take it easy.
The sound of your own wheels (the ones turning in your brain) aka the sound of your own words – spoken, written, or even in your head can drive you crazy.
Instead, I want to Take It Easy, to celebrate – despite the war and strife, the Canadian dollar sinking faster than the Titanic (the ship, not the movie)…
rising food prices (wait, how many were going to eat cauliflower in January anyway? Eat in season, or frozen), Star Wars mania, lack of affordable housing and healthcare, loss, illness…but at least there’s no zombies, and I still have all of you – my readers and other bloggers!
You make me happy when skies are grey, you’ll never know, dears, how much I love you – thank you, thank you, thank you for being here!
Friday January 29th we’re going to beat the January blahs, the winter ennui, the snow woes with a knockout blog party!
I was trying to get it together for this week, but seriously, The X-Files is returning, my hold of Season 3 of Orphan Black came in at the library, my son has a Pokemon thingie, schoolwork, housework, workwork, lifework, adulting, decisions, snow, cold, snow, cold (repeat)…I think I’m catching a cold, oh, and did I mention The X-Files is returning?
And some of you may have noticed I’ve been trying out new themes. Turns out choices are limited for mobile-friendly themes in the ‘Free’ category on WordPress, but I will choose in time to expose it (oh my!) for the celebration!!!
Come back Friday January 29th and join in the fun! It’s easy, leave your blog link or a link to an old post, new post, red post, blue post in the comment box (one link per comment, but come back as often as you like).
Introduce yourself, wander around, eat some cake, be astonished at the size of my archives (oh my!), and mingle with the other bloggers. There will be virtual cake, blogging advice, and who knows what else! It may take awhile, but I promise I’ll read, visit, and reply to everyone!
One thing I’ve yet to regret (but the day is young) is blogging. I’ve virtually met some words-cannot-express-how-awesome people here who’ve welcomed me with open arms into their blogging family.
And I get swag! Really, my mail carrier randomly hands me treats! Like books (my drug of choice), or chocolates from Chicago I won from the enchanting Cher https://thechicagofiles.wordpress.com/ a delightful friend, blogger, and ex-pat Canadian. Yes, I got a box of chocolates delivered to my door just for reading a blog post! I love blogging! Those poor chocolates didn’t make it through the night – next of kin was notified…then eaten.
It may seem like the internet is a giant virtual haystack and we’re just tiny needles, but we can find each other with blogging parties and thanks to the tireless efforts of amazing and generous bloggers like:
Suzie, creator and hostess of the trending #SundayBlogShare on Twitter speaks at http://suzie81speaks.com/
Jason/OM shares and helps us share at http://aopinionatedman.com/
Danny is a blog dream-maker at http://dreambigdreamoften.co/
Vicky let’s us Weekend Blog Share every weekend
Elena throws weekly off-the-hook linky shares #BlogShareLearn http://www.livingwithbatman.com/
Janice offers us a place to pause at Blogger’s Pit Stop http://mostlyblogging.com/
Angie helps food addicts (I prefer devotee or aficionado) at Fiesta Friday http://fiestafriday.net/2016/01/08/best-fiesta-friday-100/
And so, so many more!
Please come back on Friday January 29th, 2016, in this case, size matters, the more the merrier!
Let’s be that lovely bit of blue sky in each others day!
Monster Meet and Greet Mash
I was working
on my blog,
late one night
When my eyes
an eerie sight
For my post
from its slab,
began to rise
to my surprise
It did the mash,
it did the Monster Meet and Greet Mash!
A monster blogger mash, it was a graveyard smash!
It did the mash, it caught on in a flash…
It did the mash, it did the monster blog mash!
The zombies and bloggers were having fun,
The blog party had just begun…
The scene was rockin’, we were digging the shares,
Some were commenting, well, those who dared
So add your link and des-crypt-ion, girls and guys,
Then suddenly to your surprise…
You can mash, you can monster blogger mash!
While I often say the best part of blogging is ‘meeting’ other bloggers, readers, etc., it’s been too long since we hung together, so welcome to the party, please, feel free to leave your blog name, a link to your blog or favourite post(s), and a des-crypt-ion. And pass it on: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Tumblr, Google+, LinkIn, or reblog, so others can dig it too…
For some special treats, drop by some of the other blogs and Suzie’s Blog Party on Halloween http://suzie81speaks.com (fabulous British blogger and creator of Twitter’s popular #SundayBlogShare). I’ll check back, enjoy the snacks, but I have some busy times ahead, including preparing something completely different…Hopefully I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew-ie and end up as blaster fodder. May The Force be with me.
Yes, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
People dressing as ghosts, goblins, and ghouls,
Celebrities, minions, villains, and fools
Filled with fun, food, and fear
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
With trick or treat greetings and candy meetings
Friends and strangers coming to call
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
My happiness project is kinda sputtering, as it turns out, a year is a really, really loooong time. Here’s where it all began: https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/
And more…Week 18
I don’t have to keep track of every little thing to be happy.
I finally fully understand more but better…maybe.
Too tired to decide if actually happy, or merely exhaustedly happy.
September gone? October started? I want a recount.
Internally screaming could become real screaming if I keep hearing about how many weeks until Christmas, before we’ve had Halloween and in Canada, Remembrance Day! Aaaarrrggh! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/02/christmas-comes-after-remembrance-day/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/11/03/lest-we-forget-to-shop/
Annual library book sale! Books! My precious! They sold you to me!
You think the storm will never pass, but it does. Until then, enjoy the show.
1. Turns out, weight loss isn’t one size fits all.
2. Still waiting for my own epic-everytime-I-enter-a-room-music-a-la-John-Williams.
3. Rewatched Edward Scissorhands https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/31/edward-scissorhands/ and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/29/stuff-i-learned-from-its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/19/religion-politics-and-the-great-pumpkin/ Now that’s entertainment.
4. Black cat crossed my path. Way too adorable to be bad luck, um, right?
5. Since Christmas is bleeding into Halloween anyway, why not combine the music – Carol of the Hells?
6. Maybe I’ll dress up as an author for Halloween. Treat or trick, publish my book! 😉
7. Halloween over for another year, you know what that means…chocolate on sale!
Keep calm and blog on…
You Can’t Handle The Blogging Truth!
October conjures images of:
Fall leaves, crisp nights… pumpkins and pumpkin spice…Halloween, candy, black cats…sexy Hunger Games costumes, yeah, I’ve stopped asking why at this point…
Apparently, scary is definitely different for different people.
For some scary is:
The dark – where all the known and unknown creep.
Horror movies that make people hide their eyes, but have to peak.
The price of groceries or hydro (both terrifying).
Trying on bathing suits (could turn your hair white).
Dating, parenting, love…
Loss of those we love.
Christmas or any holidays with in-laws.
Elections, wars, politicians.
Loss of cellphone reception (The horror! The horror!).
Running out of chocolate (now that’s horror!).
Liars, vampires, aliens, monsters, sparkly vampires, zombies…
I started blogging to relax, reignite my love of writing, and to be rich/famous (not necessarily in that order) – 555 posts later, well, two out of three ain’t bad. No one warned it could be so scary!
Life doesn’t come with instructions, we have to grope our way through this at times terrifying funhouse – long strips of goodness, gooey badness, melty magnificence, and squishy horrors – blogging is pretty much the same.
It was a dark and stormy night…Start a blog they said. It’ll be fun they said.
1. You want the blog truth, you can’t handle the blog truth! By the flickering computer light and hum, something wicked this way comes…really, Shakespeare how would thou deal with: endless emails, trolls, glitches, and ghosts in the machine?
2. First, you find your way through the woods (aka the internet) to an old mansion (aka WordPress) where you start your blog. Soon, strange things start happening – stuff moves by itself, stuff disappears, and you find yourself alone, in the dark, and still, you hear the click, click, click of the keyboard…
3. Come up with a cunning plan, overly elaborate with, as a random example, a dog with a speech impediment; a drug-addled vegetarian with a groovy van; narcissistic metrosexual; frumpy geek girl who needs contacts; and constantly kidnapped drama queen.
4. Your loved ones look at you oddly as you repeatedly type: All work and no play makes Donna a dull girl…They complain you’re hunched over your shining computer, or using them for…inspiration.
5. Read aloud from online posts, only to realize, you’ve freed some ancient vengeful Babylonian deity…or worse, a telemarketer! Who you gonna call?
6. Invited to Bloggers Bash at a spooky mansion, you accept, bloggers are fun, right?
7. Pop over to Pinterest for a ‘minute’ to find an image or inspiration…later you’re found wandering through the desert and learn you’ve been missing for 7 years and still didn’t find the right meme.
8. Fall asleep at your computer and wake up in a dream where a serial killer is hunting you, or worse, you’ve lost all your followers!
9. You decide to take a break from writing and take a bath or shower, you know better, but it’s been a long day.
10. You ask for books to review, but then …One, two, writers are coming for you. Three, four, publishers knock at your door. Five, six, who do you pick? Seven, eight, accept your fate. Nine, ten, never sleep again.
11. You turn to run from the glowing ooze on your keyboard, but there’s a evil clown or worse, housework behind you…your furniture is moving on it’s own, but it’s not getting dusted…Why? Oh why?
12. Through a series of unfortunate events, you find out your blog is built on an old cemetery and an ancient burial ground where rituals were performed. You could run to another platform, but that’s a lot of work.
13. So I will think of blogging not as a horror movie, but more like a community garden. We all work together to grow something remarkable. There will be ups and downs, but in the end, we’ll all be part of something amazing…as long as nothing comes alive to eat us.
The Phantom of the Blogging Tips
If you are reading this blog there’s a good chance you’re not just a reader, you could also be a blogger yourself…or one of my family or friends (Hi family and friends!).
What I mean is, many people who read blogs are also bloggers who send their creativity out there, into the universe, in one form or another, through an intricate web.
Yet too often, The Phantom of the Blogging Tips (er, Blogera? No? That’s not a thing?) is inside your mind, telling you how to blog instead of letting you find your own voice.
So before you’re past the point of no return:
1. Don’t second-guess yourself, there are literally millions of others out there willing to do that for you. Go with your instincts.
2. Before you post you may stop and think: will my readers like this, hate this, be offended, not press ‘Like’, will Unfollow, or what if they send an army of robot ants to carry me off in my sleep? Let me help, the answers are: Hopefully. Possibly. It’s a distinct possibility. Maybe. Hopefully not. And it’s the internet, stranger things have happened.
3. You’ll do a post you think is amazing, you’ll press publish (very important step, many bloggers forget this one) and tumbleweeds will roll across your blog and you’ll wonder, what did I do wrong? Probably nothing, most likely it was WordPress..again.
4. Your posts could be awesome, but people are busy and there’s an infinite amount of information out there…or they just can’t find your posts. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ Get out there and be your own Number One Fan (but not in a creepy Stephen King way).
5. You may never be Freshly Pressed https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ or gets tons of Likes, or receive awards, or become an overnight sensation…don’t compare yourself to others, it will suck the joy out of blogging (and life).
6. Don’t be afraid to try something new or different. Tell us about a movie, a book, something you cook, draw, paint, build, remember, did, crafted, give us advice (we might not take it, doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear it)…anything, but it’s your voice we want to hear, authentic, not copied, or some regurgitated whatchamathingies we’ve read everywhere else.
7. Even if aliens are stealing your likes, keep trying, they’ll give up at some point or move on to another planet.
8. Expect the unexpected, roll with it then work it into a post, like the other day I heard two guys whispering, ‘I’d tap that MILF’ – naturally I looked around to see who they were talking about, then realized it was me. The feminist side of me was appalled and outraged, but the feminine side of me was all-Southern-belle-I-do-declare-swoony. Then they ruined it by adding, ‘Or is she GILF?’. I so don’t look old enough to be a granny! OK, but maybe a cool one. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/30/revenge-of-the-nouns/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/26/coulda-woulda-shoulda-2/
9. Keep a good sense of humour, balance, and if you can, relax, it’s just your diary you’re letting the whole world read, ok, when I say it like that it does sound kind of terrifying. But remember, when in doubt, chocolate out!
10. Find your own style, your own groove, your own path, your own magic. Cookie cutters are for Christmas, be yourself.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This applies in blogging too.
12. So ignore all The Phantoms of the Blogging Tips, even me. You can do this.
To Blog or Not To Blog
I have always been me and despite many attempts to make me not me, I still seem to manage to be me.
That’s not always a good thing.
Read some of my stuff, comment, critique, praise, ignore, puzzle, or just do whatever you want.
That’s my blog bio…everything else you’ll learn in my posts or you don’t care.
Every time I think I understand, even vaguely, how the world works, it tilts on its axis, spinning me right round, baby right round, like a record. Turns out, the blogging world is no different. Like everyone else on the planet (that might be a slight exaggeration, overstatement was never my strong suit), I have a blog. If I had a cat it would have a blog about sleeping, eating, and occasionally chasing a mouse lurking around the property. The mouse would have a blog about his adventures trying to escape the cat that bothers him while he’s trying to lurk around the property. And so on.
August 2013, I started this blog to relax, to practice writing, and to be more concise, with varying degrees of success. My Very Me-ness doesn’t always translate well, but no need to worry (hear that brain, no need to worry…forget it, it’s not listening), I’ve been embraced by readers, bloggers, etc. and I feel snug as a bug in a virtual rug.
Blogging has been difficult in many ways, but has made me fall in love with writing again, which guided me to start a year-long project to add even more happiness (Or contentment? Peace of mind?) to my life.
I more or less doubled my 7 goals in my first week https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/, even giving up 4 TV shows, but then I added 2, drum roll please, ok, I really only gave up 2 (math rules!).
This week’s goals:
1. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and play a game with my son (I want chess, he wants Pokémon, maybe we need a Pokémon chess set).
2. Remove 100 calories per day (No cheating, it can’t be veggies…Step away from the cookies).
3. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and just write, doesn’t matter what.
4. Remove 15 minutes or more per day of sitting time (replace with Yoga and Tai Chi).
5. Spend 15 minutes or more per day submitting articles and manuscripts, especially knowing they might be rejected.
6. Change 15 minutes of internet time to relaxation and rest.
7. Give away, use, or get rid of 1 or more items a day.
Blogging myths busted and wisdom learned:
1. Blogging is solitary. Wrong. Blogging, my friends, is social and addictive, like sugar, and as the song by Maroon 5 says (I’ve tried to get it out of my head, believe me), I need a little sweetness in my life, your sugar, yes, please!
2.You need to have something to say to have a blog. How snotty and daft was that assumption? Everyone has something to say.
3. Blogging is simple. Wrong again, complicated, yet worth it, despite the intricacies that sometimes make you feel like your head might explode. Mistakes have been made and more shall be made; it’s all part of learning.
4. Success! I thought I needed to be a world-famous writer, then I saw comments that said I’d made people laugh, smile, and think. Anything else that comes along would be the icing on this delicious, chocolatey cake of a blog experience thanks to you, dear readers.
5. Blogging is constant. Wrong. As with life, the only thing you can count on in blogging is change.
For example, I believe the WordPress motto is: If it ain’t broke, fix it a few times a day.
Twitter seems to have a midlife crisis every few weeks and I don’t know what happened to Facebook.
There are: trolls, traffic, topics, taboos, privacy issues, time, concentration…what was I saying? Oh yes, so the question today is, to blog or not to blog?
For now, the answer is…why not?
I Can’t Make You Love Me
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a blog, must be in want of readers.
For some, blogs take off faster than a Nascar driver chasing after sponsorship, for most others, like me, it’s a slow ride…
I know some of the reasons it’s been a slow ride, I’ve broken the first rule of The Blog Club, don’t talk about The Blog Club, no, that’s not it, oh yes, find a niche. Never have, probably never will. I figure if I get bored, you will too.
To me, giving blogging advice is like trying to explain to someone how to: dance, paint, drive, or make love in a canoe. Sometimes you just have to do it and make the mistakes, have the close calls, possibly tip over at the most inopportune moment.
When asked my blogging advice I offered https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
…but with a rebel yell you cried more, more, more…so here goes:
1. Choose a name for your blog. I didn’t know this was important when I choose mine. Live and learn.
2. Size matters, but it’s more about how you use it, mind out of the gutter, I’m taking about post size. Remember, it doesn’t matter how much they love your posts, your readers have lives.
3. Try to use images that work with your post. Adding a random picture of an adorable kitten just to suck up to the cats who run the internet might be smart, but come on, who does that?
4. Don’t get too stressed about the numbers, like right now, most numbers seem down on WordPress, who knows why? First, I blamed the Royal baby, but Princess Charlie is just too awfully cute. Then Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, Mother’s Day, elections, weather, labour unrest, but in the end I had to admit the truth – it’s WordPress. They probably changed their algorithms, come on, they’re always changing something, so statistically (and they love stats), it has to be them.
5. Poofread, er, proofread or get someone else to (and you can always correct it afterwards). We all make mistakes.
6. I can’t make you love me, well, actually, my posts, but one of the best parts about blogging is connecting with your readers and other bloggers, without all of you, what’s the point? Like everything else, sometimes you have to take someone’s hand and other times, offer yours.
7. It’s not a race or a contest. Don’t worry if a post is going to go viral, or get Freshly Pressed https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ or be nominated for awards, or making you rich and famous. Take a deep breath. Right now is about right now.
8. Blogging advice can be confusing, here’s the problem, what I think is terribly catchy and clever might not be to others. Obviously I think I’m writing something good, otherwise why would I publish it? Do what you want to do.
9. To be a shameless self-promoting bloghussy like me or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous rejection while promoting on social media….aye, there’s the rub. I like Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest, but Facebook just lays there like a mouldy, old ad-filled sock.
10. Don’t worry about if you’re going to offend someone, it’s the internet, someone is always, and I mean always, offended. Always.
Who am I kidding? I have no idea what works. I’ve poured my heart out and had the post sit there, alone, shivering like the last leaf on a tree before winter. Just do what you feel is right, in the famous words of those sage philosophers, Cheap Trick, “Surrender, Surrender, but don’t give yourself away”.
What about you, dear readers, what would be your best blogging advice?
I’m Hooked on a Feeling
I can’t fight this feeling, deep inside of me, I’m hooked on a feeling…blogging, you don’t know what you do to me.
I’m not entirely sure how many posts about blogging advice I’ve read in the past couple of years. Some posts were extremely helpful, others decidedly unhelpful, many didn’t pertain to me, and others gibberish. So here’s my best blogging advice that will most certainly change the way you blog forever!
1. Have a blog.
2. Write posts that are 300 words to whatever-your-readers-think-isn’t-too-long. Think of each post as a summer hat, you want it to cover your face and neck, but you don’t want to be the one with that Royal Wedding hat.
3. Add pictures and images to your posts. There are many ways to do this – take photos, make memes, scan, find, paint, draw…and please credit them, if possible.
4. Publish the post – this part is way more important than it seems.
5. Read. Not just books, but other people’s posts as well. If you don’t have time to read, how do you have time to write?
6. Before writing or posting, don’t think about if people will: Like it, share it, reblog it, tweet it, agree, disagree, unfollow, hate you, become your worst nightmare troll, make voodoo dolls of you, or nominate you for awards. Don’t think about becoming rich and famous. Just write. Write, because if you don’t the words will burst out of you like an alien bursting out of your chest! I can’t guarantee they’ll show up at your blogdoor with flowers and candy for each post you write, but it’s worth a try.
7. Think of the internet as a massive, sprawling, loud house party. Sometimes it takes time, effort, and quite a few trips to the ‘refreshment area’ to find people and have them find you.
8. Engage with your readers and other bloggers, be generous, share the works of others, but don’t always expect reciprocation in kind. Think of the blogging community more like a big chain link fence – the links don’t all connect, but altogether they make something strong.
9. Don’t worry about who’s reading or not reading your blog and what they might think, although, you might want to worry if you worry about that too much.
10. Share your work. Be a shameless self-promoting bloghussy – like me! Be as overexposed as Miley Cyrus, wait, even as I type that, it sounds like bad advice. A little mystery goes a long way. The important thing is to be out there, getting experience and learning.
11. Most of all, enjoy the process. Never in the field of human communication has so much been written by so many to so few. It’s a massive virtual haystack (yes, sadly, you’re the needle in this analogy), so just sit back, type on, press publish, and enjoy the ride.
12. Ignore all the aforementioned advice. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy. Get whatever you need from the moment.
What about you, dear readers, what would be your best blogging advice, besides Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga
Why I Will Never Be Freshly Pressed
I don’t own an iron…
Many of you reading this are WordPress Bloggers. You may have heard of being ‘Freshly Pressed’, where WordPress Editors pick out posts that are instantly given a lot of attention. It feels like their way of saying some bloggers are better than others, that they’re more worthy of sharing.
I even Googled, ‘How to get Freshly Pressed’.
Hmmm, note to self, next time you search, add, ‘on WordPress’, because, wow, that got weird, really fast.
Apparently none of my blog posts have: ‘enlightened’, ‘inspired’, ‘entertained’, or got the WordPress Editors ‘talking’.
Oh well, at least I’ve learned a lot about blogging, sorta…
I’m more concise (applause).
I know about: fonts, stats, sharing, widgets, I know what SEO stands for, Search Engine Oops, maybe I don’t.
I’m on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest – I’m everywhere and as it turns out, nowhere.
I’ve virtually met fantastic people…or who knows, maybe they’re all one giant app that pretends to be bloggers and readers.
I’ve made mistakes…many. I’ve had popular posts and some you could hear crickets chirping as the post sits there being ignored.
I’ve been encouraged, discouraged, disappointed, and delighted.
I’ve learned to not take it too seriously.
Yet for Freshly Pressed folks, apparently I don’t write ‘unique content’ that’s free of ‘bad stuff’ (where’s the fun in that?).
I don’t have a ‘point of view’ (that’s silly, everyone has a point of view, even if they borrowed it from someone else).
I don’t paint them ‘a picture’ or make it easy on their eyes (this seems like a blatant attempt to get me to buy a Premium package).
I don’t add ‘relevant tags’ (too many tags, not enough tags, make up your mind).
My headlines can be ‘ignored’ (I already put the word ‘Obscure’ in my tagline).
typoos, er, typos. Sorry I’m not prefect, WordPress.
I’ve tried, I really have, for over 500 posts, but sigh, I’m still in The-Land-of-Never-To-Be-Freshly-Pressed. It’s worse than being Friend-zoned.
- Well, I never really wanted to be Freshly Pressed anyway (so there).
You can keep your FP Clique.
You keep your special jackets that say FP on them and super-duper secret decoder rings.
Keep your secret Clubhouse where all the Freshly Pressed elite virtually hang out and talk about us losers that will never be Pressed.
Just realized, this little rant probably got me banned from being Freshly Pressed, for my blogging lifetime. So what? I was never going to be anyway (er, was I?).
So, why will I never be Freshly Pressed? Ummm, no clue….