We used to believe:
- Sharks don’t get cancer (they do, anyone volunteering to put on their sunscreen?)
- Bananas grow on trees (no, they’re berries that grow on the world’s largest perennial herb plant).
- We only have 5 senses.
- Need 8 glasses of water a day.
- Ulcers were caused by stress or eating acidy foods. Nope, a nasty bacteria, Helicobacter pylori.
- Tomatoes are veggies, actually, fruit.
- Chastity belts were for chastity, actually, puritans wanted people to be Masters of their Domain (yeah, I had a Seinfeld flashback).
- Humans use 10% of our brain. My son worried his brain couldn’t hold too much information. I explained his brain is like the TARDIS from Doctor Who (looks like an old blue police box, but inside is unlimited space and astonishing things). Now my son fills his head with as much information as possible.
- Salted water boils faster.
- Lemmings run off cliffs to kill themselves, actually they go into the sea to swim to mating area – come on, there’s no one you’d jump and swim for?
- Poinsettias are poison, no, but why is anyone eating Poinsettias anyway?
- Milk increases mucus.
- Shouldn’t swim after you eat.
- Humans and dinosaurs existed during the same time period (except in Jurassic Park, of course).
- Dieting myths, endless dieting myths.
- People with Epilepsy were possessed by demons.
Just because you believe something doesn’t mean you have to keep believing it.
Free speech is important, too bad it can also be hurtful or deadly.
The news pumps out stories of measles and other outbreaks; the anti-vaccine and pro-vaccine contingents battle on.
Vaccinated and unvaccinated children get Autism.
Millions get vaccinated and don’t have Autism.
What about genetics? Environmental agents? Epigenetics? Infectious processes? Autoimmume? I don’t know the answer, maybe it’s the Perfect Storm etiology, a predisposition in conjunction with various components.
Or maybe they’re just different or a vanguard of human evolution.
Calling other parents names and berating them for vaccinating their children isn’t going to find a cause or a cure or help them live good lives. Autism was once known as Childhood Schizophrenia. Now we know better and have broader definitions, better awareness, resources, and statistics. Jenny McCarthy said her son was a Crystal Child, then had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome (a seizure disorder with symptoms similar to Autism). That didn’t sell, so she jumped on the Autism train and rode it all the way to stardom, sort of. Mass hysteria that would make the Salem Witch Trials blush has swept the world, based on one discredited study. McCarthy has since backed off, having made a fortune, but the damage is done.
The myth has outgrown its origins.
If you want me to believe something, don’t use insults, anecdotal evidence, anger, flawed logic, catastrophic hyperbole, and endless drama. If your point is valid you could debate or even argue it, in a rational and respectful manner. I also don’t understand having a mock funeral when your child is diagnosed with Autism. If only people could unite to help our children, use all that energy, time, money, and passion to promote tolerance, acceptance, support, love, and hope, imagine how much better the world would be.
If you believe, you don’t have to belittle.
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -Edward R. Murrow
As I age (totally gracefully, of course), I notice an ever-growing Pros and Cons List accumulating in my brain.
I’ve also notice one side of the list is getting much longer than the other.
The Pros (or what we gain as we get older):
More candles on your birthday cake
The Cons (or what we lose as we get older):
Keys and other stuff – although I prefer to think of them as ‘in a safe place’, er, somewhere
Hair – it’s ok, it just migrates to your nose, ears and chin
Ability to ignore distractions
Cells and stem cells lose their luster
The battle with gravity
Nouns – this one is mysterious, you find yourself able to describe the noun in great detail – the thing you wear, in the winter, to keep warm, two sleeves, zippers up…yet somehow in all that, the word ‘coat’ eludes you. It works somewhat better in writing.
Some things make both lists.
Is there anything some of my more ‘age-enabled’ readers have noticed they’ve gained or lost?
To me, age is just a number, one that we should be proud of as it gets higher, hint, hint, it means we’re still living.
Is it sad that society worships youth? Definitely, age has so much to offer, even more if you can enjoy the distinctive and sometimes amusing parts of aging.
The truth is, we’re all happier or sadder at different points in our lives for different reasons. Enjoy each moment, as many as there are.
I’ve got to go, to watch that show, where the guy asks the questions. You know, you have to answer in a question form. It’s been on a long time. I’m sure I’ll do really well, answering the, you know, thingies.
So the January blahs have set in and you’re feeling blue…now what?
Is it the weather, Christmas excitement gone, holiday bills arriving, resolutions becoming less resolute by the hour, tired of shoveling?
Or because someone told you it’s Blue Monday?
We only heard about Blue Monday in songs or grumblings until it became an official thing 10 years ago.
But what’s so wrong with being blue anyway?
Cookie monster is blue.
The Blue Room
Blue suede shoes…
Doesn’t blue symbolize loyalty, trust and confidence?
It can’t be because it’s the most depressing day of the year, surely there are other days in the running?
What about Valentine’s Day, that can be depressing for those without a Valentine.
Tax Day…enough said.
Black Friday, it highlights the rank consumerism of our society.
When your sports team loses.
Birthdays, for some.
A day with bad news.
A day of a funeral.
The day you try on your swimsuit for the summer.
Come on, some of these days must be more depressing than Blue Monday, especially when Blue Monday coincides with Martin Luther King Jr Day. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/28/is-the-dream-still-alive/
Is Blue Monday just tapping into the epidemic of loneliness that shadows our modern world? Or a First World WhineFest?
If you’re blue, go out today and help someone else.
Take stock of your life, if you don’t like it, make changes.
Be aware. Be caring. Be committed. Be smart. Be kind. Be fun. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be you.
Look around, it’s just another day. 1440 minutes. 24 hours. And it’s not over yet.
You ruined my life!
My life is ruined!
They’re ruining my life!
People use the word ruin a lot,
I do not think it means
what they think it means.
Your life can be altered,
sometimes in extremely
screwed up royally,
but your life
can’t be ruined…
So what if you:
1. Shared a picture, tweet, post, status update etc. that has offended, disturbed, cost you a job, relationship, friendship, and/or caused massive backlash? Learn from it. People are complex, multidimensional, social media tends to be flat, a moment frozen in time which you have no idea how people are viewing or why, what their filter is, what their life experiences are, etc. It’s so easy to offend on social media, if I haven’t done so already, keep reading, odds are someone will be offended by this.
2. Stayed too long and put too much into trying to save a toxic relationship, whether with a partner, friend, family member? ‘Bad’ relationships can lead to low self-esteem, depression, resentment, fatigue – a waste of time and energy. You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, that isn’t just in poker.
3. Ate too much over the holidays? Spent too much over the holidays? Exercised too little? No use beating yourself up, accept responsibility and change.
4. Fell in love and fell hard…with stuff. It’s easy to do, shopping in stores, online, it’s exciting, it’s cool, it’s fun, everyone praises and envies your stuff; like any addiction you can choose what you feed it. Is the gratification worth the consequences?
5. Believed things you heard or read or watched. We’ve all done it, but there’s a lot of bad or just plain wrong information, especially on the internet. Take things with a hefty truckload of salt.
6. Been complacent. You hoped governments and corporations had your best interests at heart. They don’t. They should. But they don’t.
7. Forgot gratitude and took things for granted. I’m sure we’ve all done this, you get comfortable with people, things and you forget – they can all disappear. It’s so easy to accept, expect, and forget to be thankful. Broken record here, but learn from it.
8. Worried too much about what you say or do. Being yourself is so last year and what if you offend someone or they don’t like something you said or did? You can’t please everyone, so unless you’re hurting someone, this too shall pass. If they don’t like you when you’re really you, move on.
9. Gave up on dreams, decided to settle? It may not be too late, at least to have a modified version of those dreams. Keep trying.
10. You’ve fallen and you stayed there…There’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, get up, dust off, you’re back!
There’s no escape. Resistance is futile.
Yet what about those who don’t celebrate Christmas?
Or don’t have anyone with whom to celebrate?
Or those for whom it holds bad memories?
Or those who have other beliefs?
Or what if you love the holidays, but don’t like the commercialism and drama of it?
They still have to fight the crowds, listen to incessant carols, and have their world look like Christmas has been sick everywhere.
We’re still hearing about the War on Christmas when really, it looks more like Christmas has gone on a bender. Christmas is bigger than ever. Santa is still selling Coke. Jesus is still praised at midnight masses. Commercialism is still going strong.
Stores use terms like Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays to allegedly be inclusive, really it’s to extend the shopping period. The sustained commercialism has made for sustained greetings. Offices use these terms because Christmas cheer reduces productivity. Also, Christmas isn’t the only religious or non-religious celebration this time of year, how about: Yule, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Chalica, Bodhi Day, Sadeh, Pancha Ganapati, Hogmanay, Yalda and yes, even Feast of Winter Veil and Festivus. Including others, I can’t think of anyone, especially in the Bible who would be for that…oh wait.
I don’t understand how saying Happy Holidays offends. That’s like saying I can’t eat cookies because you’re on a diet. If someone saying Season’s Greetings will shatter a belief in Christ, there’s a problem. Poor Christmas, maybe it needs to stop worrying about what others think of it.
If only we spent more time worrying about peace, kindness, love, hope, and everyone having enough.
In the first hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me a Star Wars Christmas Tree (The Christmas Force Awakens?).
In the second hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 2 Christmas sweaters (or jumpers, either way, not sure I’m that cold just yet).
In the third hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 3 motion-activated candy dispensers (it says motion, that burns calories, right?).
In the fourth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 4 boxes of chocolates (aaaand, they’re gone!).
In the fifth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 5 Lord of the Rings action figures (you had me at action).
In the sixth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 6 personalized mix tape pillows (really, couldn’t even make me a real mixed tape?).
In the seventh hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 7 robotic vacuums (wait, is he saying my house is dirty?).
In the eighth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 8 paint your own rain boots kits (really, that’s a thing?).
In the ninth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 9 zombie survival kits (be nice, I’ll share).
In the tenth hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 10 Disney Frozen Sparkle Princess Elsa Dolls (any guesses what my donation to the toy drive will be this year?).
In the eleventh hour of CyberMonday my true love bought for me 11 live video camera drones (I love what you’ve done with your bedroom!).
In the twelfth hour of CyberMonday my true love…oops, his credit card was declined.
The shopping force is strong in people around this time of year.
Shop wisely, regrets can be expensive…
I wish we could talk again
Like we used to years ago
You should be here right now
I wish you didn’t have to go
The voice whispering in my head
A voice so beloved yet dead
A voice I hear and sometimes hate
Because it’s gone away
What did I last say to you
I don’t even remember
Goodbyes are so frustrating
More if you don’t say them
I miss the things I never had
Though I don’t know what they are
I miss the time and the place
Before we were pulled apart
I’m not myself right now
The air pushed from my lungs
My breath a frightened child
Hiding in the dark, waiting
I wish we could go back
Before we forgot what was real
The voice shattering in my head
A voice so treasured never dead
What did you last say to me
I don’t even remember
I miss the things I always had
I miss the future because it’s past.
In the blink of an eye
Halloween crawls inexorably toward us, a wild beast about to attack with treats, costumes, and decorations, horror movies and specials.
As I re-watch It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown for like the millionth time (sadly, this may not be as much of an exaggeration as it should be), this time I’m trying to see it through the eyes of a child, today.
So with that in mind, I’m putting aside the symbolic struggle represented for those whose beliefs are in the minority, as with certain religions, theories, or Linus and his Great Pumpkin; also, everything I’ve learned from this, including parts that, at times, seem a bit weird.
Here are a few older posts that look into that.
Do children now really like these older classics or are we transferring our fond memories to them, assuming they’ll like them as much as we did? Are they humouring us?
Lucy getting dog germs from Snoopy, is that still a thing?
How about the sucker getting leaves stuck on it?
Does anyone even remember what a Sopwith Camel is?
Do they think Schroeder should just use an app to make music?
Do they think the homemade costumes are bizarre?
That old-school animation is boring?
Do they need more sophisticated animation? Bigger musical numbers? Action? Adventure?
Is this show just too slow and too old-fashioned for modern audiences?
I guess I’m hoping in this frenzied, mixed-up world there’s still a place for the simple joy of Charlie Brown and friends…
Here in Canada we have Thanksgiving in October, weeks before Halloween…go figure.
A few things I know and things I’m thankful for, including but not limited to:
1. Happiness can be…a smile, a furry friend, snowflakes dancing against the darkness, absorbing books, family, friends, a movie that makes you laugh and cry, a TV show where you can’t wait for the next episode, a cozy bed, chocolate melting on your tongue, a slow dance, walking in the Fall and more.
2. Those who believe in fate or faith should never look both ways or check an expiry date.
3. Fear is more contagious than any disease and stronger than an army.
4. People make choices. How you feel about those choices or the consequences has little or no bearing. Really.
5. The Earth will still be here in one form or another after we’re gone.6. Everyone has their own window on the world, with it’s own screen. You can’t make someone see through your screen and it’s impossible to see through theirs.
7. You can’t walk away from yourself the way you walk away from other people. If you’re going to stay, play nice.
8. Truth can be painful and can take you places you may not wish to go. Go anyway.
9. Even the most basic beliefs about reality aren’t true alone, our thinking makes them true in our experience. Hopefully this isn’t true about zombies.
10. We forget. Our mind is designed to remember and to forget, but too often we forget when someone has been there for us or not. Don’t forget.
I’m thankful my son makes me laugh and vice versa.
Thankful for family, friends, and virtual friends.
Thankful for things that keep my weary mind amused.
Thankful for what I’ve had, what I’ve lost, what I might have.
Thankful I know enough to be thankful.
I even willingly (more or less) went to bed Friday nights so I could get up early to watch cartoons like:
Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Hour,
Scooby-Doo, Yogi Bear (hey Boo-Boo!), Space Ghost,
Jabberjaw, The Banana Splits, The Pink Panther Show, The Jetsons, The Flintstones,
Josie and the Pussycats (ok, they went to outer space;
smart, getting a bigger audience share), Shazam!,
Superfriends, Batman, Superman, Grape Ape,
Fantastic Four, various Captain Caveman,
Harlem Globetrotters, Schoolhouse Rock,
The Addams Family (the ill-fated cartoon version),
Return of the Planet of the Apes, Land of the Lost,
The New Shmoo, The New Adventures of Gilligan,
Godzilla (with Godzooky), Spiderman, Smurfs, Ewoks,
Star Trek (sigh, yes, boldly going into cartoons),
Cucumber Club (I was a member), Blackstar,
Inch High Private Eye, Fat Albert, Speed Racer,
Hilarious House of Frightenstein, Tom and Jerry,
The Banana Splits, Underdog, H.R. Puff’n’Stuff,
Rocky and Bullwinkle, Dudley Do-Right, Droopy Dog,
Mighty Mouse, Hong Kong Phooey (before political correctness),
and probably more that I can’t think of off the top of my head.
Just so you understand how sad this is, I can still sing all the words to all these theme songs.
A graphic novel like Rocky and Bullwinkle takes me back to a simpler time. I know how old that makes me sound, but there it is.
Even as I read Rocky and Bullwinkle #1: The Psychic Sidekick by Roger Langridge (IDW Publishing/Diamond Book Distributors), I marvelled at the blatant anti-Soviet/Russian sentiment and thought, hmmm, I see why it’s making a comeback. Amuse children and adults, but wait, there’s more, also a propaganda tool! While not quite as funny as I remembered, but both R&B and Dudley Do-Right are still amusing in a cheesy way. Sometimes when they recycle these oldies but goodies they ruin them by modernizing or making them too politically correct, but no squirrel and moose are just as old school silly, yahoo!
Animation changed, more as a business, with little art involved.
Needing children to be ‘busy’ every minute of their day was a big factor. Pushing for more ‘quality’ family time that involved paid activities, traveling, etc. another.
When I was young, quality time with my parents came later in the day, after they had slept in – their reward for a long work week.
My brother and I foraged for food, cereal or toast, leftover soup or spaghetti, if you were lucky, cold pizza from the night before. There were simple rules to Saturday morning: try to be quiet (I’m sure my brother and I were awesome at this rule) and don’t make a mess (if you do, clean it up). I think it taught my brother and I independence, and we enjoyed the time together.
There have been other changes in society. The divorce rate has increased significantly since then and now many children live between homes.
More recreational sports now. Anything else?
There are still many cartoons, but available anytime…
I kind of miss the days when you saw The Grinch and Charlie Brown’s Christmas once a year at Christmas, and cartoons only on Saturday morning.
Life should have seemed limited, but instead we just felt lucky to see them, not entitled.
I don’t currently share my home with any feline characters unless I count my son who has Asperger’s (see earlier post, https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/27/all-cats-have-asperger-syndrome/ ), but I’ve had a lot of experience in their world.
My friend George (loved Curious George) was pure black except for a white bib and apron. George liked to sit on the front porch, even more on Halloween where he got maximum effect. He lost one half of an ear being out in the cold; we lived in Coniston, near Sudbury, it was very cold at times. In those days most cats were outdoor cats, this also led to us calling his name or saying, bad George which got a hearty laugh from my Grandfather because his brother, George lived right across the street.
Other cat friends?
Candace, regrettably insane; eventually needed little kitty pills to keep her calm (those were sooooo much fun to give her). My Mom let my Dad take me to the SPCA to find a kitten. We were two big saps who came home with a tiny runt kitten who needed to be fed with an eye dropper for days and the SPCA said they would replace her when she passed away. I didn’t want her replaced, I loved her. Candace lived 17 years. I don’t think she had many other fans.
We had Tanis (yes, my Raiders of the Lost Ark phase, which I’m sort of still in) who my Mom (the only one of the family who professes not to be a cat person), saved when someone threw it out of a car. We couldn’t keep her because of Candace, er, aforementioned krazy kitty. We found her a good home.
There was also Xena and Luna who were lovely. Luna had to find a new home because she decided she wanted to play with my son as a baby, just his head. And Xena, her sister had to find another home when I found out my son had Asthma.
No cats since.
If you do get a kitten or cat, please, adopt from an animal shelter or rescue; or family or friend.
Our extended family has had so many beautiful cats over the years, we don’t think of them as pets so much as companions.
They think of us as staff.
August 8, 2013 wow, that seems like a lifetime ago.
That blog post was, Fibromyalgia is a Four Letter Word (it still is).
Since then I’ve made a lot of mistakes, did I say a lot I meant a ton, or perhaps a tad more; probably said a lot of things people don’t agree with; and had some wanting-to-pull-my-hair-out moments, no worries, it’s still there, more or less.
I’ve learned a lot. Had some revelations about people I thought would be supportive, turns they weren’t, and still aren’t.
I’ll take it as a life lesson.
Plenty more people have been extremely supportive.
Thank you to family and friends, those who have pressed like, or shared, or reblogged, or followed, or subscribed, tweeted and retweeted, given me awards, or a combination. It means more than you’ll ever know, really.
I have ‘virtually’ met some awesome people who are kind, supportive, funny, helpful, generous, hopeful, caring, and have mind-blowing things to say and they share it. Thank you.
This year has opened up new portals for me.
I’m reading books I might never have read, learned things I didn’t know my brain could learn, but most of all it’s given me hope that maybe I can be more, it’s given me a glimpse of me, a me that I sometimes fear is gone forever.
So please join me for this virtual celebration of my 1st Blogaversary or Blogversary or maybe it’s a blogbirthday!
Drop by and say hi, read some of my older posts, apparently there are like 450 of them, hey, I did warn you with the tagline, Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure.
It’s not as though me and my Dad built decks for a living or built lots of decks together.
We built one deck together. It took us a few days. And by us I mean mostly my Dad.
Up front, I’m not sure whether I was more of a help or hindrance.
I recall smashing my thumb with a hammer. Dad said, more or less, “Great, your Mom is going to kill me”, with a laugh. It was a family joke. She understood. I had suffered many injuries in the care of everyone, as well as those that happened while with friends, in school, alone. I was known as clumsy. Turns out I actually had: Epilepsy, Fibromyalgia, and Hypermobile Joint Syndrome. It’s very possible I’m also clumsy.
Why was I at the camp (some call them cottages or summer home, in Northern Ontario, they’re called camps) helping my Dad with the deck? I seemed an unlikely choice, but my older brother who was actually helpful in building situations was away at university and everyone else was working. My Dad was on vacation and we needed a deck at the camp.
We’d work during the day and in the evening we’d have supper then ice cream, watch TV, I’d read to my Dad, or we’d both read to ourselves…and we’d talk.
You may have noticed I refer to my father as Dad, never my father because he’s a Dad, always. Funny, smart, sweet, sometimes annoying, sometimes really annoying, kind, and fun. He loved friends and family, cars, talking about cars, looking at cars, fixing cars, driving cars, watching cars, taking pictures of cars and with cars, also, cats, beer, eating, TV, movies, working, laughing, dancing; he was a gentleman and a gentle man, hopelessly silly…and always a Dad to me and my brother.
There’s never a picture of him where that mischievous twinkle isn’t in his eye except when he had dark sunglasses on, but we know the twinkle’s still there.
I’m not sure we were always aware of how lucky we were to have a Mom & Dad, not just a Mother & Father. We did always know we were loved. Of course, look at us, we were adorable. I love my Mom & Dad today and every day.
I have lived at least six or seven lifetimes in the past 30 or so years since those days at the camp. I wish my memory was perfect or more robust, but the happiness I felt in that time has never faded in my heart.
Enjoy the times you have because you never know until later those times were actually treasures.
Happy Dad’s Day to all those men who care enough to be Dads, not just fathers!
1. April is Autism Awareness Month.
2. April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day.
3. Today and all through April there will be more talk, more posts, more ads, more stuff sold, more people arguing about what caused Autism and still the numbers of children with Autism will rise.
4. For me everyday is Autism day. My son is brilliant, funny, clever, handsome, and amazing; he also happens to have Autism.
5. Children are being diagnosed with Autism in record numbers. Businesses, charities, celebrities, etc. are making record profits off the fears and vulnerabilities of parents.
6. Governments may say they’re aware and are doing a lot, but in truth, they just aren’t doing nearly enough.
7. Some parents hold mock funerals when their child is diagnosed with Autism. Is it just me or is that super creepy?
8. There are open doubters, closet doubters, haters, blamers, whiners, name-callers, bullies, accusers…the list goes on. None of that makes my child better.
9. The many voices for Autism, from whispers of hope to screams of anger to cries of despair can be heard throughout the world, not just today, but everyday.
10. There are plenty of theories and things people blame for Autism, yet to date, no single cause has been proven.
11. My child has Asperger’s Syndrome, he’s on the Autism Spectrum. He doesn’t need saving. He needs to be happy. Live up to his amazing potential. In that way, he’s the same as every other child.
12. Finding out my son had Autism didn’t change anything, I loved him just as much as ever.
13. Some people see my son as someone to be pitied, or mocked, or bullied, or judged, or labelled, or ignored. If some people took off their intolerance goggles they’d see who people really are.
14. Autism used to terrify me, now I see that’s it’s different, not bad or scary or less, just different. Who ever said different was awful? Neurodiversity Now!!!
15. When something or someone is hurting our children we could easily be angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, look for reasons, excuses or someone to blame. Instead we need to focus on helping our children and finding the real cause.
So on this day and others, remember, Autism is just a word, the real story is in each child and who they really are.