Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Family, Fibromyalgia, Food, Movies, Music, Uncategorized

There’s A Nap For That

Posted on by D. Parker

1hate8As a writer I have to believe words have power. One of the words I dislike is hate (note I didn’t say I hated hate). It’s overused. People hate their life. Family. Weight. Home. Car. Cats (maybe they sense your hate). Government. Politicians. Job. Hair. Cake (you are so reading the wrong blog). Books. TV shows. Songs. Actors. Movies. Vegetables (how do you hate something plant-based?).

I’m tired of hearing people say they hate…I’m not sure they know what that word means. Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, stuff like that.

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1. Let’s review, do you really hate your life or just certain aspects? Your whole life is a big category with many moving parts, pick the right part to hate, let the rest roll on.

2. Standing in the middle of a room silently or loudly screaming, “I hate my life” or “no No NOOOO!” repeatedly will probably make you feel slightly better for about 30 seconds, but it’s not a long-term ‘fix’.

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3. This is usually the point when advice-giver types tell you to change your life. That’s all well and good, but what if some things are beyond your ability to change? Should you just accept them, or rail against them, lay down and kick and scream until you feel better, or until someone offers you ice cream to stop, or threatens to call the authorities (and no ice cream)?

4. How much time do you spend each day ‘hating your life’, I suggest you cut that in half, help others with the other half, you’ll feel the hate drift away.

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5. Take a deep breath. This probably won’t help you hate your life less, but hopefully you might get a nice breath of fresh air, or the smell of fresh-baked goods.

6. Do something, maybe something different, or something to help someone else, again, may not make your life full of singing and woodland creatures doing your housework, but it might remind you of the good things.

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7. Take charge of your life, unless you wouldn’t feel comfortable having you in charge, after all, do you even remember where your keys, or the remote is right now?

8. Are you at least changing the things you hate about your life? You’d hate to get stuck in a rut of hating the same things for decades.

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9. Check your birth certificate. Are you old enough to hate your life? There are some weird laws out there, you don’t want to be breaking any.

10. Write down what you hate, maybe there’s a great book, or movie or TV show, song, etc. in all that hate. As much as people say they love positivity, so many popular shows, movies, books, plays, songs, etc. are about dysfunction, hate, crime, death, destruction, apocalyptic worlds, and misery, including Misery.

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Maybe the haters just need a nap. A nap always makes you feel better. I’ve been enjoying a tiny bit more sleep (even when awake) in the past week (new meds).

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Fibromyalgia and sleep don’t get along, but as much as I can hate the pain it inflicts on me 24/7, the constant  fatigue, feeling left out of life sometimes, there’s no point, it is what it is. I have a choice, I can choose hate and be all grumpypants, or I can choose love and keep enjoying what I have and hoping for better days ahead.

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If I said anything wonky during my blog party  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/01/29/always-on-my-mind-blog-party/ (still open by the way, drop by anytime and promote your blog, for free, yes, free  – we hear that word often, but it’s rarely true, in this case, it is) – I’ll blame it on the drugs (totally legal ones). Thanks to all those who came out. Happily, my bed and I are back on speaking terms, for now, and we didn’t even need sleep counseling.

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Haters gonna hate, so let’s bake them a cake…seriously, who can hate when eating cake?

Be brave. Be bold.
Choose love…and naps…and cake
(not necessarily in that order).

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220 thoughts on “There’s A Nap For That”

  1. I see chocolate in the tags, but not the post – for some of us you can take out the “cake” and replace it with very good dark chocolate. But one of them HAS to be there, both if possible, but dark chocolate first… I know you don’t drink coffee, but I’m not alone in thinking it is liquid love – makes me hate a lot less 😉 I hope your reconciliation with your bed lasts for a while and you get some good naps in.

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    1. I think of cake and chocolate as interchangeable words, because for me, cake means chocolate, pretty much any kind or a bunch combined. 😉
      Though I don’t drink coffee, I know that cake and coffee go well together, and there are coffee cakes as well. 🙂
      Whatever soothes the hate. 🙂
      Yes, so far so good, but these relationships can be tenuous.
      Hope this day is treating you well. 🙂

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  4. Well done, Donna. Once long ago, in a galaxy far, far away I hated a man who made my worklife miserable, with his disrespect. I’ll call it hate, anyway though it doesn’t precisely fit the definition. (Did you know that love is not the opposite of hate? No they are very similar; two edges of the same sword, both very intense emotions. The real opposite of hate is *Indifference*…pure cold as ice indifference.) So I wasn’t indifferent to this jerk I “hated” him so much it kept me awake at night. One day I realized what an enormous amount of energy it takes to “hate.” And I was spending all that energy on the person I “hated.” I made a conscious choice to never feel that way again.
    (Now this is not to say that I’m a forgiving, sweet person. Especially since I find the term “Sweet” the most demeaning of all words. But I don’t spend energy on that kind of hate.)
    Mega hugs to you dear friend. Leaving my Julia Sugarbaker soapbox now. 😀 ❤

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    1. So right, Teagan, hate takes a lot of energy. It’s like when you hate someone you drink the poison. And pretty much all the time, someone that hateful isn’t worth it.
      I know that technically the opposite of hate is indifference I have a difficult time being indifferent, and I just think I’m too lazy to hate people, it’s so much work lol 😉
      Thank you for dropping by dear friend with your kind and wise words, please, get up on that Julia Sugarbaker soapbox anytime, you are magnificent! 🙂
      Megahugs

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  5. I will forever choose naps, and cake. In that order. ☺ Funny graphics…Snow White is the favorite. I want to meet those particular woodland creatures. 🐦 🐤🐁 🐓 🐕 🐈 🐇 🐦 🐤

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  6. No one can hate when eating cake. No. One.
    I feel like people focus on the negative a bit too often nowadays, myself included sometimes. So I try to focus on the positive! : D
    Amazing post!

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    1. It’s true. They should make people at war sit together and have cake. 😉
      It’s too easy to see the bad or at least focus on it when they’re still so much good.
      Thank you kindly, hope this day is being good to you so far. 🙂

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  10. #4 & #6 work for me. Doing things to help others: a very good way to make the world a better place and lighten our own burden. And if all else fails, there’s always ice-cream. No one can hate when they’re eating ice-cream. Great post 😀

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    1. Very true and the best part, I’ve heard ice cream and cake cause hateful to go away anything, a theory I may have to try out today, you know, purely for scientific purposes. 😉
      Hope this week treats you well, Norm. 🙂

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  11. Great post.
    Well, I didn’t used to hate cinammon dusted almonds with chocolate ganache but I do now since I broke a tooth when I bit down on one yesterday. Hoping the dentist will fix it so I can resume my love affair with almonds – or maybe I should look for a softer option and forget almonds.

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  12. Thought-provoking. I do use the word hate quite a lot, but never about people, because I do know what it means. I had a manager fifteen or so years ago who was dreadful and would say awful, untrue things about me to others in front of me. No matter how bad it got, and it did get bad, I never once thought I hated him. I disliked him intensely and would not have been sorry to have heard of him suffering some misfortune, but I never hated him.
    I’m also old enough, I think, to know whether or not I hate my life. I don’t, although I would like to change it a bit, or at least parts of it. I’m off to put plan A into action. Keep up the good work.
    By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice there’s no Harrison.

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    1. Best of luck with Plan A ad sorry, Harrison can’t be here all the time, he’s busy promoting his movie. 😉
      Yes, people certainly can be vexing at times, I understand what you mean.
      Hope this day is being kind to you so far. 🙂

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  14. I completely agree that hate is overused – and I like to come from a place of abundance in my life, not a place of lack – and speak only of the good… and sometimes it is a challenge to rephrase something to be good!! LOL, but the effort is worth it… which pretty much can be said about most of life’s challenges! Sounds like the new meds are working out.. whoohoo!

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  16. Great post and insights.
    I feel that way about the word love. It gets slung around for EVERY THING!! I mean seriously, If I loved everything, then, in essence, I’m loving nothing, right?
    Anyway, no visitors this weekend after all, except for colds. And, according to my youngest, it’s the no deposit no return kind, after someone kindly gives it to you!!
    Blessings to you, and I’m glad you’re getting sleep. (I’m still fighting with a Dr, that was forced on me by insurance, to accept my Fibromyalgia diagnosis. I can empathize with the pain and sleeplessness).

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    1. I think to get ‘heard’ in this world we consciously or unconsciously overemphasize, but in the end we probably get heard less.
      Oh no, colds can be yucky – we did teach our children to share and sometimes that means colds too. 😉
      Thank you kindly, it seems to be wearing off a bit now, but I’ll take any little bit I can. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly.
      Gentle Fibro hugs. 🙂

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      1. I agree, we usually do get heard less.
        I know, I did teach her to share but
        still . . .
        I’m glad you’re feeling a little better. I’m in the so-so stage. Bleh!
        Have a great weekend, too
        Gentle hugs and blessings to you, too1

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  18. Another amazing post, Donna! That word is definitely over used and much too strong for what so many use it for. I love your advices most of all the question if the hater actually changed something about the things he hates…. it is so easy to complain and not take responsibility!

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      3. The subtitle of my blog: “Be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi” That is so profound and says it all. You give wonderful impulses and insights Donna!

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  19. I agree that word gets thrown around way too often. When my 9 year old says it, I remind him to think about what he’s actually saying. I think we adults have forgotten to do that. LOL!

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  20. I think the word ‘hate’ falls into the same category with the word ‘never’ – be careful using it. Life is always better with cake as long as there is a lot of frosting on that cake. I don’t have any cake today, but I have a fresh raspberry pie I baked so I don’t ‘hate’ anything. 🙂

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  22. You are so right on about that word. I am always conscious about using it and make an effort to use the word dislike in its place. Love the gifs..lol they are so right on! You have some terrific recommendations here…especially the cake one lol

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    1. Dislike is mostly what we feel, even intensely, you’re right, being conscious of our word choices is important.
      You can never be hating when you’re eating cake. 😉
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

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  23. You’ve got me thinking – I hate everything, but mostly because saying things like I greatly dislike…or this displeases me… Are not passionate enough to satisfactorily roll off the tongue. Mostly I hate rainbows and unicorns and the overuse the word ‘love’ but that’s me, and nothing ever sticks with me. I don’t waste my time hating on people.
    Hope the new meds help.

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    1. I know what you mean, I used words with careless ease when I was young not always understanding their power.
      I like rainbows (for about a second then I get bored), I think I might like unicorns but I’ve yet to meet one, and I love the word love although I agree it’s overused. 😉
      Hate is a poison and a big time-waster.
      Hope so too.
      Hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

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  25. I choose cake, then love, then a nap, because I’m greedy, and doing those three things in that order makes perfect sense to me 🙂 But in all seriousness, I loved this post. When I was younger, I confess to being one of those “I hate” girls where anything and everything that annoyed me got labeled with hate. Now I’m old, and hating properly just takes so much energy! Energy better spent on eating cake, perhaps.

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    1. Sounds like a great order and thank you kindly. 🙂
      I feel that way, as I get older I feel like I need to preserve my emotional strength and hate takes way too much energy, cake asks so little. 😉

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  28. Pingback: The Champion Award – Hummingbird Redemption

    1. Congrats on your award, Raphaela, totally deserved!
      And from Rob who is without a doubt a champion in so many ways!!! 🙂
      Wow, look at the company I’m in, thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙂
      Hope this week is treating you kindly. 🙂

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  29. I try never to use the word hate if I can because dislike dos the job fairly well without all the spent emotion.I have a tendency to agree with your list of things we’re allowed to hate and though I normally wouldn’t dream of correcting you ( or any other woman with a knife in her hands) I shall have to risk being hated myself by the fair sex for my additions. ‘Hate should be reserved for really, really bad people and things, like: child abusers, rapists, murderers, Hitler, warlords, dictators, alien overlords, sprouts, cake (except that covered by Cadbury’s chocolate) and ice cream, stuff like that.
    Just remember I love you and don’t throw that thing.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

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    1. Cake and ice cream? David, really? Ok, I still love you and lucky for you, I don’t throw things. 😉
      Hope this week is treating you well and can’t wait to hear all about it – dare we hope for more pictures of Roobs and Ams (I know, she probably doesn’t have a nickname yet, but I’m offering my suggestion lol). 🙂
      Massive non-cake hugs (don’t know if I can do that, but I’ll try) xo

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  30. What a great post, Donna. Really, what’s the point in hating – it doesn’t actually change anything. Your advice to help others is a way out of most problems, at least in my experience. And naps. Those work great too. Plus walks. And reading a good book. And cake. There’s an endless list of things to do besides hate 🙂

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    1. Thank you kindly. 🙂
      Yes, hating doesn’t change anything, just fills us with poison, no fun in that and no fixing.
      A good book is never a bad thing, or a good blog post…an the list goes on. 🙂

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  31. Haters are gonna hate… because if they didn’t we would have to call them something else. I have no problem with hate, I just want people to do it for real reasons… not race, not any kind of group, no, it has to be on an individual level for reasons that make some sense. Then, knock yourself out.

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  32. The word hate probably is overused, but I think I can fairly use it when I experience a visceral reaction that makes me physically yearn to inflict bodily injury. This happens to me in the presence or vivid recollection of a short list of things: crass pounding pop music, crowds, children (from the age of about eleven or twelve on down, the smaller the child and the more shrilly it is screaming, the stronger the feeling) and a small handful of people who have behaved abominably to me and never been made to pay for it. Other things, I concede, probably fall under the rubric of “strong distaste” or “annoyance” (bikini underwear, bad drivers, earbuds). It’s a difference in the neurochemistry of the reaction, which I think deserves to be honored.

    I don’t think there’s anything, chocolate or single malt or Darjeeling, that could prevent me from feeling that gut-instinct to violence when shitty music or a yammering toddler overlapped my zone anywhere on the vast Venn diagram of life. I just avoid them as much as possible, and the people who seem to think I ought to luhhv them.

    And I agree that if you hate your life (as Mr. Polly famously said) you can, up to a point, change it. Meanwhile, as you point out, more or less, creative bitching is an art form. Who doesn’t love a good rant?

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  35. Great reminder Donna that we should be grateful for being alive and everything we DO have. Hate is a strong word, and like you said, should be reserved for true evil! 🙂

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    1. It’s too easy, isn’t it, Debby to see what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right. Hate should be reserved for true evil, for sure.
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly, big hugs. 🙂

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  36. I’m with you! I think using dramatic words and phrases around our life often invites more of the same. I found that things always go better for me if I can stay on the plus side of negativity. Even just a little bit. I really love your tips. There’s a lot to work with in that post!

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    1. You’re quite right, drama attracts drama and staying on the plus side of negativity is always good advice. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, hope this week is treating you well. 🙂

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  37. That’s one of my pet peeves. “Hate” I would also include “Don’t Care” and “Cheap” also “No Worries” in there too. But that fits in a different category. My mother always told me never to say “cheap” always “inexpensive” My parents never let us say “hate” either. So I’ve been trained like a dog. haha…

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    1. I used to say “Don’t Care” too often when I was young, but realized it wasn’t precisely true, so try not to say it as much, I do say ‘No Worries’, but only about specific things that I have no worries about and yes, we were told to use words like inexpensive, frugal, thrifty, value-added, etc. 😉 So I guess I’ve been trained and schooled. 😉
      Hope this day is treating you kindly, Karen. 🙂

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  39. Honestly, I can never drink anything while reading your blog. At some point, an expected meme or gif will make me laugh so much that I almost spew tea all over my computer screen. Today’s was the woodland creatures from Snow White who really don’t clean houses.

    Lots of good advice here: baking a cake, taking a nap. I think I will do both this weekend.

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    1. Ha! Glad I can make you spew tea lol 😉
      Yes, where are those woodland creatures, I feel like I was duped. 😉
      That sounds like a lovely weekend, all the best. 🙂

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  42. I love this post. Love, love, love, love! I am not a hater, but your words gave me insight to how cavalier we are with words these days. Hate being one of them. We overuse the strongest words to add emphasis, but that leaves no words to express what’s beyond that emotion. While we used to just have a bad hair day, now we HATE our hair. Thank you for being so on point. Let’s eliminate the overemotionalized words and say what we mean. Oh, and for those who truly do think they hate whatever… I agree with you. Let’s eat cake, chocolate, chocolate cake, have more kisses, even chocolate kisses, and drink more coffee, chocolate, chocolate coffee, or even a good green tea with toasted rice. LOVE is the answer.

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    1. Thank you kindly. 🙂
      You’re right, it’s like we feel like to truly express what we mean we have to overemphasize and overemotionalize.
      That sounds like an awesome list and love is the answer. 🙂
      Thanks for dropping by and I hope this day treats you well. 🙂

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  44. Wonderful post Donna 😀
    Some people seem like, they don’t wish to enjoy their life and then they act negative to all around them and make others life a misery.
    What we can’t change, we need to accept, but if we can change it, then do it instead of being bad.
    Wish you a beautiful weekend 😀

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  46. Coffee, cake, chocolate, tea, wine, whisky, music, dancing, kisses, cuddles, long weekends, clean sheets and long sleeps, what’s not to love about life? Hate can take a hike. Along with cleaning. Did some today and not so much as a squirrel showed up to help. I hate when that happens. 😉

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  47. Okay, I was sitting on a street corner having coffee. Old dude sits beside me. Starts telling me how he HATES Indiana, that the scammers here are no good at, that out on the WEST COAST they know how to scam, that he inherited money, bought a house..on and on and on about how he hates it here.. So I finally said WELL MAN YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, SELL THE HOUSE, GO BACK TO THE WEST COAST. Do you know what he said? He said, NO MAN YOU LIVE MORE THAN ONCE! So I was left thinking, PERHAPS HE CAN SELL THE HOUSE IN HIS NEXT LIFE. I need a nap. 🙂

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  51. This is a thought-provoking post, Donna. I’m not a laid back kind of person but if I get hurt I move on, I don’t hate. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone (I certainly don’t hate the inanimate or the parts of my life I sometimes need to contend with) I have to admit though, if someone does hurt me, I pretend they don’t exist – and forget them.Well, it works for me.

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  53. My mother always said hate is just disappointed love. This is a great post to inspire a change of thought. I agree, when all else fails, there’s naps…and cake.

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  55. Sorry it took me so long to get over here—-I had a crazy weekend! I love all the memes you used here. The T-Rex one really cracked me up. And the next time I get upset and start to say, “I hate my life”, I’m going to yell “No No NOOOOOO: instead. I think it will feel better to scream and get itoff my chest next time, haha!

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    1. lol I hated it as a child too. 😉
      Thanks for reblogging this, Jason. Hope everything is going well with the new blog (and all the blogging).
      Hope this day treats you kindly.

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    1. Sugar-free cake would work, whatever, as long as it’s cake, right? lol 😉
      Thanks for the reblog, Jonathan, as you can see, I’m playing some major catch-up this week, long story, trying to shorten it for a post. 😉
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

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  62. I love what Tamuria said above, about hate being disappointed love. I couldn’t agree more, complaining and saying you hate this and hate that doesn’t change a thing! Wonderful post I love it! I hope it’s a wake-up call for those who use that word far too often than they should.

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  63. Hi Donna,
    Did you ever watch Glee? Didn’t the song “Loser Like Me” have the lyrics “Haters Gonna Hate?” Thanks for bringing this to Pit Stop, I am here today to greet you. I am your hostess.
    Janice

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    1. Sorry Janice, watched like the first 3 episodes of ‘Glee’ then forgot it was on, I always take that as a sign. 😉
      I don’t know where the phrase started, I know it’s used a lot, so true.
      Thank you for being such a lovely hostess, Janice, you’re so generous to all us nomadic bloggers wandering through the blog desert (or for some of us, dessert).
      This got thrown into my spam, who knows why, it’s WordPress logic. 😉
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

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    1. I wonder if we use some of these words to feel ‘heard’ above the din of society and media, it would explain why teens use such dramatic language as well, they just want to be heard as they’re finding their own voice. 🙂
      Hope this day is treating you kindly. 🙂

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  68. Love this upbeat and great post Donna. I love your blog and I’m trying to visit more often. Many thanks for stopping by mine.
    I’m sorry to hear about the fibromyalgia. Do you have it all of the time…or does it flare up? x

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    1. Thank you kindly. 🙂
      I’ve been a bit of a blog buddy slacker in the past couple of weeks, but I appreciate everyone’s support and patience. 🙂
      I have it all the time, but yes, it flares and there are short periods of remission.
      Hope this weekend is treating you well. 🙂

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    1. Congrats Mitch, and I get why you were nominated, I always appreciate the time, effort, and thought you put into your blog. 🙂
      Thank you for thinking of me, I really appreciate that as well and I’m in such good company – many familiar bloggy faces and some new to discover – thank you kindly! 🙂
      Best of luck with the film although with you I don’t think luck is needed, your faith and given talent hold the key to success. 🙂
      All the best, thank you again and hope this weekend treats you well. 🙂
      Off to share and mingle. 🙂

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  71. I love naps. I am sorry but I “hate” my job at a warehouse and yet, like several coworkers. I like my church who voted to allow same sex marriages, First Presbyterian Church in Delaware, Ohio. We have plenty of college students since we are nearby campus and are integrated in background, ethicity, and ages. This means the few times I make it to church I an proud to be a member. There are a few positives and then one use of Hate. I wish we could all love one another! 🙂 Thank you for staying with my blog over all this time! Hugs, Robin

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    1. We’ve become a society of overusing certain words, too bad ‘love’, ‘peace’, ‘understanding’, ’empathy’, and ‘compassion’ don’t make a comeback! Hope this week treats you kindly, Kathleen. 🙂

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