Shocking news! Reports are pouring in from around the world of senior citizens leaving their homes and care facilities to join terrorism groups.
Over 145,000 aging Baby Boomers, fed up with living in poverty and feeling like they’re a burden on their families have left for war-torn countries in the Middle East.
“I spoke to a nice young man at ISAS, he reminded me a lot of my grandson,” a senior, calling herself ‘Hilda’ told Senior Today News. “Next thing I know, I was up to my support hose in sand, cooking over an empty steel fuel can, darning socks, and knitting flags,” she said, smiling. “Mind you, the air raids interrupt my programs and the cries of ‘Death to America’ disturb my sleep, but at least here I feel needed.”
Authorities are bewildered and at a loss of what to do to stop the radicalization of seniors.
“We didn’t even think of seniors being radicalized,” a top aide to Obama told this reporter. “They weren’t even on our radar and now they’re using walkers as weapons in this bloody conflict.”
Young people, upon learning that over half of the new recruits were their grandparents and great-grandparents have decided it’s no longer cool to be radicalized.
“When I went online and saw that my Gram had joined the same terrorist caliphate as I was joining, well, it was Facebook all over again,” Caleb Smith explained as he unpacked his knapsack. “How can I commit acts of merciless violence with my Gram watching?”
The only upside? Decreased burden on pension plans, as well as reduced wait times for healthcare and spaces open up in care facilities.
Although experts see no end in sight to this bizarre recruitment of the elderly, sources tell us that the terrorists seem to be tiring of being asked the same questions over and over again…and watching Wheel of Fortune.
Happy April Fool’s Day!
Advertisements
I know a few elderly terrorists. The other side won’t know what hits them when the sun goes down. They won’t be expecting sundowners.
LikeLiked by 3 people
It is the only way some senior citizens can afford to travel. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
lol. 🙂 True story!
LikeLike
Oh you! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol! 🙂
LikeLike
Happy April Fool’s Day! 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha …..
LikeLike
😉
LikeLike
This was a good one!
LikeLike
Thank you kindly, thought it would be a fun April Fool’s Day Folly. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe you clever you 🙂
LikeLike
Got to have fun on April Fool’s Day! 😉
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Adventures and Musings of an Arch Druidess.
LikeLike
Thank you kindly for the reblog. 🙂
Hope this day is being good to you. 🙂
LikeLike
Shocking news indeed! Can nothing be done to avert this calamity??? ; )))
LikeLike
I’m sure the governments of the world will get right on it, they’re soooo good at solving problems. 😉
LikeLike
Lol I thoroughly enjoyed this.
LikeLike
It’s April Fool’s Day, got to have some fun… 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great post. I loved the bit about using walkers as weapons. reminded me of the film cockneys vs zombies.
LikeLike
I haven’t seen that one yet, but it’s got the guy from Penny Dreadful…I heard it’s a bit like Shaun of the Dead. Thank you for reminding me to put it on my list which is very long and I don’t think I’ll finish it in this lifetime…but I’ll try. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hey, what’s up with making fun of ‘Wheel of Fortune,’ Donna? Did you pick an ‘F’ when somebody else already had one time too many? 😉
LikeLike
I’m not all up in The Wheel, it’s just generally know to have an older demographic. And I always pick the ‘L’, for “Love’. 😉
LikeLike
Lovely response, Donna. You didn’t make me feel too bad for being in a certain demographic, I guess. 😉 That’s OK. Pretty soon I can get a discount at Denny’s, I think.
LikeLike
Grand slam! I think we’re probably in the same general demographic, Mark… 😉
LikeLike
Generally, maybe, perhaps, but I think I am the longer of tooth, Donna. Of course I shall never ask. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m close enough to 50 to see it… 😉
LikeLike
We’re cool. I’m close enough past 50 to remember it. 😉
LikeLike
They’re all just number anyway. 😉
LikeLike
Indeed, my friend. 🙂 It’s what you do with your days, not how many of them you’ve compiled.
LikeLike
You are a wise old man, Mark, oops, I mean, a wise man… 😉
LikeLike
Happy April Fool’s. Ha ha.
LikeLike
You never know…stranger things have happened. 😉
LikeLike
OMG! That was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing! Love the last line. Too true!
LikeLike
Thank you, so glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to do. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What… what… oh, it’s April Fool’s Day!
Very funny with a serious message lurking behind the scenes.
LikeLike
Thank you…glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
LikeLike
Hilarious! I didn’t read all the comments, but hopefully nobody has taken it seriously as a commentary on the elderly in our country.
LikeLike
I think everyone got it. Although it would be quite a news story. 😉
LikeLike
Donna, your cleverness never quits! My first thought was…what???? then came the chuckles! Great writing! Christine
LikeLike
Thank you, Christine, it’s important to have some fun in this world. 😉
All the best, Donna
LikeLike
LOL! A good one ~
LikeLike
It was fun to do. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry to be late! I kept wondering what the punch line would be… and I did wonder about the day. Gotta say, I’m kind of relieved that you said “April fools!” Because nothing is more fierce than a pissed off senior! No foolin’ there. 😀
LikeLike
You never know what can happen, but I agree, seniors can be fierce. 😉
Hope your weekend is egg-actly what you want it to be, Teagan, thanks for dropping by. Megahugs 🙂
LikeLike