Posted in Canada, Chocolate, Fibromyalgia, motivational

Seems Breakin’ Up Was Easier in the ’90s

It looks like you’re gettin’ over me,

faster than I’m gettin’ over you.

But hey, what you gonna do?

I’m sick of sittin’ in my brain,

sighin’ at my phone. 📱

Wishin’ I was somewhere I can’t be alone.

Try to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of makin’ excuses about how I wanna be.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me.

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Back then, I could’ve convinced myself

it was you and not me,

though I said it the other way round;

love lost and found.

Could have made myself believe,

I loved you, just wasn’t in love with you 💌

(realistically, it’s you and me?).

Just the thought of it makes me blue

Didn’t know then I couldn’t have

the bandwidth to deal with life

stress keeps cuttin’ at me

with an jagged online knife 🔪

Tryin’ to let you go, but somethin’ always reminds me

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

I’m tired of gettin’ tired, tired of bein’ me.

Tired of seein’ pictures in my brain, 🧠

I don’t wanna see.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me

Seems breakin’ up was easier in the ’90s.

Modern love leads to modern hearts breakin’ 💔

Leads to a whole lot of social media fakin‘.

You’re everywhere, everywhere but behind me

Seems breakin’ up with myself with easier in the ’90s!

Thanks to Sam Hunt for the inspiration.

I’ve broken up with myself before, at least once or twice a decade, but it seems to get harder every decade. My most memorable break-ups were in the ’90s. It all seemed like a good idea then. 💡 No awkward, “It’s not you, it’s you” conversations. I was young and thought being in love with myself was more important that just loving myself, taking care of myself.

Every time I try to make it work, but we’ve grown apart. The relationship just isn’t working for me…and me. This time I find myself feeling resentment. I resent myself for getting in my way.

Maybe it was age. My stage in my journey. Or maybe it’s those darn rosy nostalgia goggles 🥽 and it just seems breakin’ up with easier in the ‘90s. Either way, I think it’s time to take our relationship to a previous level…

Sometimes you gotta stop reflecting (I’m turning into a mirror here 🪞) and take the BS by the horns; I’m doing a year of chronic change...

Step 1: Move. Done, but not terribly settled, though I’m cutting myself some slack on my (lack of) progress. I;ve been vividly reminded that Fibromyalgia is a thief. It steals your energy. -Pilfers your time. -Loots your stability. -Filches your confidence. -Snatches your pride. -Purloins your social life. -Robs you of your hopes and dreams. -Breaks and enters your life, tossing the place and adding chaos, fear, loss, and uncertainty to every moment of your day and night. Living with chronic conditions means you have to change your expectations, accommodate, modify, and most of all, adapt. I’m trying to be kind to myself.

And remind myself of all the good/great/amazing things I have as well. My family, friends, my blog/readers/fellow bloggers/authors https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/, the ‘group’ I founded(?), “Chronic Not Hopeless” (all our Zoom activities are free, all are welcome, contact: chronicnothopeless@yahoo.com

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/)…

Also, my happy places (on the page, in a screen, swimming in chocolate 🍫, chatting, laughing, in a cup of tea (or three). 🫖

Where else?

Happy on a gameboard or in the cards, among the trees 🌳, under the stars… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

And of course, the hopes and dreams the chronic suckage https://chronicnothopeless.ca/2021/01/17/chronic-suckage/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/12/06/chronic-suckage/ hasn’t yet managed to rudely steal – writing a novel, learning to podcast, code, organizing (sorry, staying organized – oh I can organize, I can organize till the cows come home, it’s keeping the organization, that’s the kicker), getting better and so much more…        

Step 2: Break up with myself. I’ll start slow with the simple but elegant, “I just need some space”. Then add the tried and true, “It’s for the best” and of course, “You and I should stay friends”. 🤝

Follow up with the classic, “We’re both looking for different things” and “I’ve figured out, we’ll cover more ground if we split up”.

If tears flow, I’ll pivot to the gentler, “We’re at different stages in our lives” and pop in, “I really need to work on myself right now”.

If I want to add some levity to the tense break-up situation, I can toss in a cheeky, “Our relationship is like my financial status: broke” 💸; or “I feel like I’m moving into a tunnel cause we’re breaking up” 📵; and/or “They say one person’s trash is another one’s treasure, I hope you find a pirate to love you”. 🏴‍☠️

Still not there yet?

Who can go wrong with a classic Star Wars break-up line? “I think I should change my name to Han cause I need to do this Solo”.

End strong with, “You are going to make someone really happy someday”. The important thing is, be honest with myself, don’t sugar-coat it or ghost myself. 👻

Step 3: Rocky Road, Vodka Sangria, box of tissues, fluffy slippers, and emo movies…with “Say Something” playing softly in the background. Check. ✔️

Step 4: Write a blog post about it during my blog anniversary month – yes, I started emptying my brain into this blog in 2013!!! Wow! Thank you for joining me in the saga of my life! 🤗🤗🤗

Step 5: Write monthly update blog posts for the next year about my chronic change trip and other stuff that jumps into my brain. 🧠

Roses are red, 🥀

Violets are blue

You are dumped…

And so are you.

 

Posted in motivational, Uncategorized

Umbrella

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss was correct (always, even if he might not have said this one, who knows, but he makes me smile).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Nothing can protect you from the storms of life, not enough the biggest umbrella (thanks Rhianna/Jay-Z, I’ll never get that song out of my head).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/Put on those rain boots, galoshes, rubbers, overshoes, Wellies, whatever and go out and dance in the rain. Stand in it. Sit. Sleep.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Those storms are going to come, whether you fear them or not.
Change is going to come whether you fear it or not.
The lightning strikes of technology.
The rumbling thunder of racism. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
The pelting hail of misinformation.
The sleet of corruption.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

The hurricanes of hate.
The tornadoes of greed.
The slapping winds of regression.
Face them. Fight them. Survive them. But you can’t avoid them.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Ignoring something never made it go away. Get stormy, let your inner Mary Poppins out, and get on with it.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Too often in my life I’ve missed out on good, hell, amazing things because I was afraid. My fear stopped me. Siting on my shoulder, claws curled into my trembling flesh, cackling in my ear about how I was going to fail, how it wasn’t going to turn out anyway (it rarely did), I was going to get hurt, I was going flounder, or goof…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

I was going to ruin things, even ruin my life https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/04/so-youve-ruined-your-lifenow-what/ I listened, avidly, to the voice of fear, so I missed out on smiling because it happened.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Much of what we fear stems from what we’ve learned, consciously or subconsciously.
Fear is actively used in: child-rearing, schooling, work, play, sports, politics, science, religion, movies, TV, books, business, and well, everything – then we’re shocked/surprised that fear rules us? Sometimes those fears are irrational and sometimes: “be afraid, be very afraid”.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

So many fears…Fear of the dark comes from fear of the unknown (what’s out there I can’t see?).
Fear of strangers, immigrants, different races?  Just people you don’t know yet.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Fear of snakes?  Boo, hiss!
Fear of antiques? That gets old fast.
Fear of spiders?  Sorry Charlotte, you know I love you (and your web), but you’re super creepy looking.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear of bananas?  That’s bananas!
Fear of time?  But it’s so wibbly wobbly timey wimey.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear of falling asleep?  Probably good away after a good night’s sleep.
Fear of Trump?  Well, duh, that’s rational.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear of failure? It has all happened before and it will all happen again.
Fear of success?  I could live with that.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear of heights You never want to get to the bottom of things with that one, but I could fall for that fear.
Fear of planes, trains, and automobiles Really, it’s a hilarious movie.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear of books?  What?!? The?!? No, just no.
Fear of fear?  Nothing to fear but…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Yoda got it so right, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ~C.S. Lewis
Some days I feel I’ve lost something, or am missing something. In those times, I go about my life with a weird, niggling feeling gnawing at the base of my skull.
Slowly I come to the same conclusion, it feels like fear, but it’s grief. Loss of loved ones, loss of health, loss of what could have been, loss of civility, loss of decency, loss of honour, loss of dreams as they fade into changed expectations.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Yet, at these moments, “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”  Jane Austen, my courage hasn’t always risen – I’ve been intimidated, dispirited, badgered, ruffled, browbeaten, disheartened, constrained…But sorry not sorry that’s a thing of the past (and it can stay there) https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
Fear is likely even part of my procrastination issues https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/02/07/after-all-tomorrow-is-another-day/. I’ve made a promise, to myself, to let my courage flag fly, I can’t always let them grind me down…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

I used to believe if I tried to control everything I could control, even conquer my fear. That I could stop bad things from happening. Nope. The only thing I can control is how I react to fear. How I react to the bad things.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
I’m out of control and loving it (when I’m not terrified beyond words).
Trust yourself. Respect yourself. Not the Fear. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/17/all-were-asking-is-for-a-little-respect/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/
And I hope you know, you can always stand under my umbrella (not with the Umbrella Corporation, they suck), or dance with me in the rain.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/08/22/umbrella/

Posted in Canada, Environment, Family, Music, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized

Dreaming is Free

Are teens and young people at risk for dreaming anymore?

Dreaming has become very expensive…and I think you need an app for it.

pablo23

Boomers and Gen X were well-intentioned, wanting to give our children everything. Somehow it backfired and we’re leaving them with: a broken system, crumbling infrastructure, crippling debt, dubious morals, attention issues, a yawning wealth gap, a dying planet, corrupt governments and business.
Now in our defence, we also gave them: kittens on the internet, tons of fast food, and technology that might be destroying them.

pablo19

Yet I’m still hopeful. Why? Because they are.
Many young people still want to try. They want to change things.
The media gives us the impression that all young people care about is
their smart phones, that they don’t vote, they’re unmotivated, or joining terrorist groups.
But that’s because the news is pandering – sensationalism rules.
Saving the planet isn’t sexy.
Trillions in unfunded liabilities (governments are happy if you don’t pay attention to things like this) is boring and incomprehensible.
None of this has ratings potential. Rarely goes viral. But it should. We need to stop focusing on the negative and sensational.

Have we removed our children’s ability to dream? I hope not.1agenscrewed3
Maybe it would help if we stopped calling them things like, Generation Screwed. That’s uplifting.
Profusely unemployed or underemployed, many live at home longer or return home. Debt, especially from student loans, is weighing them down. They need to have hope.

This generation, Millennials, have been given so much.
Their expectations are high. A new smart phone in their hand, and often. Big TVs, little laptops and tablets, a car to drive, fast food, clothes, trips.
Yet when they get out into the world to earn enough to have those things themselves, they hit barriers – no jobs, part-time jobs, low-income jobs, outsourcing, and even their beloved technology is plotting to steal their jobs.

They’re told to: lower their expectations; accept the new normal; the low-hanging fruit has been picked; and society has reached a plateau. Wow, way to motivate.

That should be a Graduation Speech:

Knowing that society has reached a plateau and all the low-hanging fruit has been picked, we’re all going back home to live with our parents until we’re 40 or so. 1agenscrewed4
This is the new normal, having lowered our expectations of ever getting a decent job or a home.
We accept this is the way things are.
And in conclusion, check out this viral video of a zebra that can paint its own toenails.

 

Posted in Books, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

THE MATRIX

1matrix2

Why did The Matrix become such a huge hit?

Dystopian future films have become hugely popular in the last couple of decades. I figure it’s because we’re already there, and this is a way to explore what’s happening without truly acknowledging it’s happening.

Do many already feel like we’re in The Matrix?
A simulated reality where we’re kept complacent and subjugated.

1matrix19

Perhaps our body heat is already being harvested, think about it, corporations plotting to make us fatter because obese people produce more body heat.

Maybe they’ve brainwashed people into having phones or tablets with them at all times so they’ll produce more electrical activity.

1matrix15

Is it easier to just live on our computers, cell phones, tablets, and so on, looking at pictures of kittens, tragedies, recipes, hoaxes, optimistic quotes that looking around at what we’ve done?

So where is our Neo come to free us from this dream world we’re plodding through on our cellphones, laptops, Google glasses, tablets, etc.? And do we even want to be saved from the distraction?

The Wachowski Brothers, now called The Wachowskis (Larry Wachowski is now Lana) wrote this cyberpunk standard with the works of Philip K. Dick whispering in their ears. The paranoia, power, mental discomfort, a ruined world. The Matrix is the ultimate exile from ourselves.

Or maybe it’s so loved just because the awesome effects, the wire fu techniques, the anime-like feel, action scenes, great cast, and cool outfits.

1m3

The Matrix contains incessant references to: mythology, religion, philosophy, literature, and pop culture.

Johnny Depp was first choice, also Will Smith and Nicolas Cage both turned down the part of Neo. Smith turned it down to do Wild Wild West. No comment. But come on, we’re expected to believe Nicolas Cage turned down a part?

Epic shot where Keanu Reeves (Thomas Anderson/Neo/The One) hits the ground, bounces back up again is meant to look like Wile E. Coyote? Evil super genius ordering from an omnipresent evil corporation ACME who sends weapons to an address in the desert, great, but where’s the tiny umbrella?

1m4

The numbers 1 and 3 are everywhere in this movie. Neo means new; it’s also an anagram for One. Trinity, 3. Neo is called Thomas in the beginning when he is doubting.

A matrix in mathematics, is a rectangular arrangement of numbers, symbols, or expressions, ordered in columns and rows. Distinct items in a matrix are called its elements or entries.1matrix10

The Matrix is green, not ecofriendly, but shot with a green filter for the parts inside The Matrix.

The scene with Neo and pins. Those pins were actually in his head. For realism. It worked.

The government lobby shootout took 10 days of filming and didn’t use CGI. The Wachowskis staged everything you see on the set, even the explosions and water pouring in.

Sci-fi flicks always produce conspiracy theories. How about this one, note the date on the passport.

1matrix6

The actors were put through their paces on this movie, they had to be able to do stunts, wire fu, fight, process weighty philosophical discourses, etc.

The end, the last line in Neo’s monologue gave the studio and audiences options, “Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.”.  I would’ve been satisfied with The Matrix, it  was enough.  In the 15 years since it’s release few have matched it.

Definitely a cautionary tale that allowing oneself to the plugged in all the times can rob us of reality, truth, and any meaning to life.

 

Posted in Movies, Uncategorized

INCEPTION

As interesting and bizarre as Inception was at times I had a feeling I wanted something more. But I wasn’t sure what more was exactly.

incept3

Certainly not the cast, they were amazing.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, and Michael Caine, all in one movie, wow.

incept5

Despite some flaws, issues with paradox, etc. this was a highly entertaining sci-fi, pseudo film noir journey into conceivably the future of corporate espionage.

Beyond writing, directing, and co-producing Inception, Christopher Nolan also recycled a lot of the cast in and from his Dark Knight Trilogy, which I have no objection to…really…really.

It was rumoured that the performers’ contracts featured a sequel clause, whether or not this is true, I hope it never happens. I don’t want tincept2o know what really happened. I have my theory. Millions of people have their theories. Let the Cobb conundrum rest.