Posted in Blogs, Canada, Fibromyalgia

Aggressive Simplification

 

“There is no point
in using the word
‘impossible’
to describe
something
that has
clearly
happened.”
=== Douglas
                    Adams

It happened and I let it happen. Not once, twice, or thrice, but over and over again. As impossible as it seemed, I let my life, wait, “let” seems too passive, I actively  participated in the over-complication of my life.

Oh, I told myself I was simplifying. I did all the “right” things. I organized, sorted, classified, tidied, de-cluttered…tried to keep only things that sparked joy.

Yet my life felt like I was just moving round those deck chairs on the “Titanic” (there was room on the board for Jack, Rose, remember, never let go?).

Then complications, on tiny clawed feet creep, whether or not I leave them a treat…

1. First stage of grief – denial.
 In denial my life was
              that complicated.
     I had balls in the air,
  juggling like a clown;
 I like helping people laugh
   (I’m a bit of a Joker),
 but clowns wear too
much make-up,
      for my personal taste.

“Simplification” always means removing stuff, right?
Usually, but not always, sometimes it means:
adding, switching, modifying, adapting,
accommodating, changing, rethinking,
reclassifying, redistributing…a whole lot of re-ing.

2. Next, I hit a wall of pain and guilt.

Yup, those flying “Whys”  hit like me like a sock full of pennies. “Why was I so sick?” “Why couldn’t I get better?” “Why me?” “Why?”

3. Anger (Envy?) and Bargaining.
“So many people don’t appreciate: their health, their life,
the good people and things;
why do they have so much
of things they don’t appreciate?”

“Whoever may be out, let’s strike a bargain, what do you want to make this better?”

4. Depression/Reflection/Loneliness.
“I’m worthless.”
“I’m a drain.”
“I’m a burden.”
Breaks into a chorus of
“All by Myself”
while fighting
her own hand
reaching for the cookies.

5. The upward turn.
“I can do this.”
“I can find even more resources.”
“I can find more people who understand.”

“I can help myself.” “I can push even harder.” “I’m pretty amazing.”

6. Reconstruction and working through. When I said it wasn’t all about de-cluttering, it was a big part because…sigh,

I’m a fantastic bargain sniffer hunter stalker predator shopper.

Brand names for dirt cheap, price/ad matching, coupons/freebies, sales…long story short, had (insert understatement here) more stuff than I realized. More than half of the more is gone now.

Bumped up my phone plan cause counting seconds wasn’t saving my brain and I was missing stuff and things.

Got more medical resources.

Watched stuff that made me smile and think and not think and lot of giggling: “Knives Out”, “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina”, “Fleabag”, “The Walking Dead”, “The Good Place”, “Virgin River”, “Lost”, “Grace and Frankie” (want to know if a veteran actor/actress is alive, watch this), “The Orville”, “Jack Ryan”, “SNL”, “Joker”, “Lost In Space”, “Spiderman: Far From Home”, “Marriage Story”, “Glitch”, “The Expanse”, and thank you kindly to Netflix for Season 2 of “You”…You know I like to watch.

Unplugged from social media more; it’s a learning curve of an addiction.

And I’m trying to blog more too (stop overthinking), here https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/11/22/99-problems-and-fibromyalgia-is-all-of-them/ (hopefully, if life stops giving me lemons…I want chocolate!!!).

I changed internet providers. New email: darcyyada@gmail.com

Got Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to give up being Royals (sorta) and move to Canada cause we’re nice, eh (and we have Justin Trudeau and #Donutgate). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

7. Acceptance and hope. Now more organized, but with the understanding things pop up to:
disrupt,
disturb
and
displace
the calm
and toss things
into the chaos realm.
 

Hopefully the extra measures I have taken with my “aggressive simplification” will be enough to keep the monsters of chaos at bay.

There’s no linear path to anywhere or anything, it’s all wibbly wobbly, up and down, round and round.

Most living things grieve, in different ways. We grieve those we’ve loved and lost, friendships, connections, community, hope, opportunities, time, health, jobs, dreams…

I predict complications and chaos will continue, but instead of thinking (or overthinking it, thank goodness I never ever ever ever, did I mention ever, do that!) of it all as a catastrophe, think of it as a chance to learn.

Posted in Books, Canada, Holidays, Uncategorized, Zombies

Who Loves Ya Baby?

1tidy4How many times
can you fall off
the planet before
you start to think,
hmmm, maybe I
need better
gravity boots.

My strange week began with me frenetically organizing and cleaning my house.

At first, I thought it was simply having finally read Marie Kondo’s book, the life-changing magic of tidying up: the Japanese art of decluttering and tidying. Though commonsense, it’s all been said and done, in various ways. It’s easy to declutter, you have less stuff that’s more organized. I should write a book. My house looks like a poor woman’s Martha Stewart, with fewer prison ponchos (it’s a good thing).

1tidy2
Then came the gut punch, the calendar explained my sudden need to keep busy – a year ago my 30 year friendship stopped, just as my best friend’s heart had stopped https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/02/06/goodbye-dearest-friend/ I wanted to do anything but think about my losses, all of them, before and after this one. I wanted to drown my sorrows in the bottom of a neatly folded and lined-up sock drawer. To gamble I could keep the traveling elastic bands and pens all in one place, just one more time.

1tidy3

Even after everything was organized, sorted, recycled, and donated, my feelings of pain, loss, and fear still cluttered my house, heart, and mind. So I purged some of those feelings blocking me from respecting joy, hope, and love. I folded my memories into my life; if I keep hanging them, they’ll take up too much space in my emotional closet.

1tidy7

We’re told we need to be smart, work smart, have smart things, but where is smart really getting us?

  • For example, if credit cards are so smart, why can’t they pay off their outstanding balances, huh?

  • If TVs are so smart, why do we have to spend so much time looking for something good to watch?

1tidy11

  • Maybe we need smart pets that feed, groom, and even walk themselves.

  • I have a feeling if I got a smart fridge, I’d hear things like: “Are you here again, girl, get yourself a life!” or “What are you doing, Donna, this is highly irregular!”

1tidy24

  • Why stop there? Smart coffee machines, ha, amateurs, how about smart coffee that changes itself from espresso to latte to whatever passes as coffee, depending on your mood.

  • Someday your smart car will hold you in contempt without a valid high IQ score.

    1tidy21

  • Smart wine that critiques itself so you can sound like a wine connoisseur, although then everyone will sound the same, so it will be just the wine talking.

  • Smart couches that tell us the best spot to park our caboose.

    1tidy27

War, depression, corruption, terrorism, anxiety, climate change, poverty, prejudice, ignorance, disease, political games, scams, abuse, addiction, melodrama, not to mention simultaneous epidemics of starvation and obesity – we don’t need a zombie apocalypse, we’re doing just fine on our own.

1tidy12
We self-scan, aka us working for a store for free, while putting others out of work (and already over-paying), all the while supporting companies that destroy the environment, while using what amounts to slave labour. Really?

1tidy8

And our complaints are many: my laptop is too heavy, there’s too much food in my house, my smartphone isn’t the latest model, my smartphone doesn’t have a long enough battery life, there’s too many movies/TV shows to stream/watch. I clearly have the wrong definition of ‘smart’.

1tidy16

So I will try to be smarter.

I will thank my body for it’s hard work, especially my heart which has taken a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.

I will commune with my mind, who has respectfully stayed with me through thick and thin.

Everything in its place and a place for everything…as long as it sparks joy.

Happy Valentine’s Day…Who loves ya, baby?

1tidy10

Posted in Books, Christmas, Uncategorized, Zombies

A Place For Your Stuff

1clutter11Lived in one home for 50 years?
Move every 5 years?
Or every few months?
No matter, human beings acquire stuff.

I love the George Carlin routine about how we need a place for our stuff.
It’s true, we have versions of our stuff, at home and work.
In garages, sheds, storage units.
In purses, backpacks, wallets, suitcases.
On vacation. In cars. Wherever.
Now we’ve added computers, smartphones, tablets, laptops, etc. to the list. Oh my, wouldn’t Carlin fun with that?

So what do we do with this stuff, well, we definitely dust, rearrange, reorganize, store, and bemoan it.
We keep it because it might fit someday, we might use it sometime, might need it somehow, or maybe it was a gift, or it will come in handy during the zombie apocalypse…

1love3

1clutter1I think self-help books are like recipe books, sometimes you learn something new, or it reminds you of something you used to do.
Donna Smallin (best-selling author of The One-Minute Organizer, Secrets of Professional Organizers, Unclutter Your Home, Unclutter Your Mind, etc.) is at it again, offering readers, Clear the Clutter, Find Happiness (Storey Publishing) which gives more one-minute uncluttering and household tips. I like her idea of doing 10 minutes a day, may not sound like much, but it adds up.
Like her other books, Clear the Clutter, Find Happiness is full of great advice; precise, practical suggestions, all presented in an extremely efficient manner (I would expect no less).

I borrowed this ARC from Netgalley.com (release date December 2014; I bet you can think of at least one person who needs this for Christmas), but until it’s released Smallin has many others books to help you unclutter and organize your life.

Smallin suggests rewarding yourself for uncluttering, but I think that’s rewarding yourself for having so much in the first place. Now if something finds it’s way to you as a cosmic reward, then by all means, accept it.

Here are some ideas, should you wish to edit your stuff:

1. Not an absolute yes? Then bye-bye.

2. Have a 3-ring binder to keep track of: To-Do Lists, bills, activities, household info, take-out menus, appointments, coupons, etc.

3. Everything should have a place and it should stay there, not migrate around your house.

4. Figure out your worst clutter habit, ie. not putting like items together. Work on that habit, then move down the list.

5. Declare your independence! Don’t think of uncluttering as a punishment or a chore, think of it as freedom.

1clutter4

6. Plan a purge (no, not like those movies!). In the words of the infamous Red Hot Chili Peppers, Give it away, give it away, give it away now!

7. Avoid comparisons. Don’t say things like, My place may not be as clean as my Mom’s, but it’s way cleaner than people on the Hoarders. No, just, no.

8. 5 items into your home, 10 items out.

9. Keep items you use, or need for legal or sentimental purposes. Donate, sell, or trash the rest. Buy less.

10. Things are not as valuable as people or your time. If you pick something up and you’re greeted with dust (this goes for relationships and friendships as well), it’s time to say goodbye.

If you’re not using it, if you don’t love it, let it go.

This should go for every part of your life.

The world is full of literal and figurative clutter, don’t add to it.