Posted in Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

25 Ways To Stay Alive in a Horror Movie

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/1. When you hear a noise down a dark alley, or basement, up in the attic, in the woods, in the shadows, or a cemetery – don’t go to check it out or call out things like “Is anyone there?” or “Who’s there?”. You probably don’t want to know.

2. When confronted by a serial killer or zombie, etc. don’t try to come up with an overly elaborate Scooby-Doo-type plan to kill them. Run away.

3. If you’re in a good hiding space, don’t leave it right away or make a lot of noise. Shhh!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

4. Don’t depend on someone coming to rescue you, they usually get killed.

5. Don’t go all hero and decide you’re going to go and fight the serial killer, zombie, demon, etc. It rarely works and usually ends in death, dismemberment, maiming, or all of the above.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/6. Don’t check into a hotel or motel named:
Bates Motel, The Overlook, Motel Hell, or Pinewood Motel.
Stay off Elm Street, Hanging Hill Lane, or Lucifer Dr.
Don’t go to summer camp at Crystal Lake.
Don’t go to places with names like:
Satan’s Kingdom, Transylvania, Bloody Springs, Silent Hill, Helltown, Amityville, Monster, or Bad Axe (really, it’s scary, trust me, I know) and apparently all small towns in New England have an overabundance of spooky and bad things happening in them, go figure.

7. Not the time for heart-to-heart chats, true confessions, make-out sessions, or arguments – wait until the bad things are gone.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

8. If  loved ones or companions start growling, hissing, have glowing eyes, misshapen features, sudden hairiness, a fascination with blood, this isn’t the time to practice tolerance – run!

9. If you get invited to a spooky mansion for a party, don’t go, really, even if it seems cool, skip it.enet11

10. If you see a book of spells or a book of the dead – don’t read aloud from it!

11. If you think you’ve killed a zombie, monster, serial killer, etc. don’t go closer to check if it’s really dead.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

12. Don’t solve puzzles that might open portals to Hell, or loose demons upon the world, bringing about the End of Days, etc. Stick to crosswords.1gg8

13. Even if you’re really good at it, don’t play with recombinant DNA, actually, especially if you’re really good at it.

14. If you find a town that’s deserted, leave. Leave quickly. But first listen to the old crazy who tells you there’s a curse, or alien invasion, or possession – he’s the last one alive, he knows stuff.

15. Don’t borrow or steal from the dead. Don’t wake the dead. Don’t try to talk to the dead even if you think they might have helpful information. Don’t even think about them. Just don’t.cor46

16. If plants and animals start behaving in an odd or aggressive manner, this is not the time for curiosity.

17. If your children, loved ones or friends start speaking to you in Latin, or ancient Babylonian, or some alien language it’s probably time to run, or get help, or run and get help.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

18. Don’t fall asleep (I got this one covered).cor106

19. Don’t try to figure things out or try to investigate. Also don’t go to the authorities, they’re probably already altered in some way, they won’t believe you, or you’ll get them killed.

20. If something is after you run or take a bus. I don’t care how reliable your car is, this time it won’t start or it will take you a long time to start it, or the cab driver will be possessed, or something really, really bad.hall36

21. Even if you think your problems are over, you might want to wait to take a bath or shower.

22. If you find out your house is built on an old cemetery, ancient burial ground, where they use to perform rituals or sacrifices, or some other bad stuff, cut your losses, or get a really good supernatural real estate agent.fear18

23. Always ask why a piece of real estate is so cheap and no one else wants it.

24. Whether you’re on an alien planet or Earth, stay away from: giant eggs, glowing things, ooze, furniture that moves on its own, scary clowns, TVs that lead to other worlds, hockey masks, machetes, chain saws, cabins in the woods, creatures, etc. And don’t wander around on your own or go looking for someone.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

25. This is the most important one: good shoes. No heels, no slippery soles, no untied laces. You are going to be running. Yes, you still might fall as they chase you, but your odds are better if you have good shoes.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/03/20/25-ways-to-stay-alive-in-a-horror-movie/

Good luck…and don’t split up!

Author:

Very me

67 thoughts on “25 Ways To Stay Alive in a Horror Movie”

  1. 25 WAYS TO STAY ALIVE IN A HORROR MOVIE
    It was so refreshing to see 25 ways to stay alive in a horror movie…
    Some things you think of and some you don’t….

    Reply

  2. Brilliant! It should be a mandatory hand out to everyone going out their front door. And the New England thing, ya I live just across the border and…oh oh

    Reply

  5. This is hands down my favorite post from you!!! Hysterically funny and really clever. A Home Run! (“If you blog it, they will come.”) Oh wait, that wasn’t a horror movie. More please!

    Reply
  7. Pingback: 25 WAYS TO STAY ALIVE IN A HORROR MOVIE | rflemthen
  11. Pingback: As a Puerto Rican who loves lighthouses I’m excited to be nominated for a Lighthouse Award « psychologistmimi

  18. Great suggestions. I would also add never go out running in the woods, there are always been to be roots and you’ll fall over them…I think the point about not making out should apply to spy movies and all kinds of action movies too… Really funny and it had to be done!

    Reply

    1. We should all practice running backwards and looking backwards as well, especially in the woods, roots and fallen branches can be hazardous…hmmm, you’ve made me think, I wonder why no one ever bumps into woodland creatures when running away in the woods?
      Yes, the making out thing should be applied to any movie where you could get killed by doing so. lol
      Thanks for dropping by Olga, as always, a breath of fresh air. 🙂

      Reply

  21. An enjoyable read and some good advice. If only the characters in horror movies had ever watched a horror movie themselves they’d surely be better prepared for survival.

    Reply

    1. It should be part of life skills, learn to survive in a horror movie, I mean, hopefully we never need these skills, but better safe than sorry (in many cases, very sorry). 😉

      Reply

    1. Oh no, are you ok? Hopefully the lunar eclipse/supermoon didn’t bring anything horror-ish out. 😉
      I hope they’re helpful and that no one ever needs to use them. 🙂

      Reply

    1. I’m guessing you were over at Suzie’s, isn’t she awesome? I’m so glad you found me then I found you. 🙂
      If you get a chance, pop by the Monster Meet and Greet Mash aka Blog Party I’m holding right now http://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/28/monster-meet-and-greet-mash/ Leave a link or two or more so others can find your blog, also you can meet the many bloggers who’ve left links. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is treating you well. Happy Halloween! 🙂

      Reply

    1. lol Oh Jonathan, how drool, thank you, thank you, thank you, very kind of you to reblog. 🙂
      Hope this week treats you kindly and you need none of this advice. 😉

      Reply

  29. Thank you for sharing this life-saving information! Thank you for linking up at The Blogger’s Pit Stop. I’m sharing your link on social media.
    Carol (“Mimi”) from Home with Mimi

    Reply

    1. Thanks, you’re too kind. Yes, this is all very useful advice and the best idea is to never be in a situation where you need it – well, I’m off to the basement before I visit my friends at an abandoned summer camp. 😉
      Hope this weekend treats you well and sweet dreams. 😉

      Reply

  30. Tee-hee! Thanks for linking your latest post to this one, Donna. I see that I missed it. So much fun! Don’t go to places with names like:
    Satan’s Kingdom, Transylvania, Bloody Springs, Silent Hill, Helltown, Amityville, Monster, or Bad Axe… LOL. You slay me. (Pun intended). Mega happy weekend hugs, my friend.

    Reply

    1. Horror movies are truly teachable moments lol 😉
      I’ve been to Bad Axe, I’m lucky I got out alive lol 😉
      Hope this week treats you well, dear Teagan with as little horror as possible (these days that might be tough).
      Mega They’re behind me, aren’t they? hugs xoxoxoxox

      Reply
  31. Pingback: Featured Blogger: Very ME! // yadadarcyyada #DonnaAmazing | Ace Social News Desk

    1. Thank you so much, Ian, I’m behind on my comments, but my sentiment remains the same, I am very grateful so this reblog and your kindness. I hope this weekend is treating you well so far. Any ideas for a new title for my bio? 😉
      Best wishes today and every single day. xox

      Reply
  32. Pingback: Featured: You’re Welcome…………#yadadarcyyada #Donnamazing | Ace Caring & Sharing NewsDesk

    1. Thank you kindly, Ian, I don’t know if you’re getting these comments, sometimes WordPress plays tricks (no treats) and says No!
      Hope this finds you safe and sound. Thank you for the lovely reblog! How delightful!
      Stay safe. Stay connected. 🙂
      Big non-contagious hugs xoxo

      Reply

    1. Aww, thanks! Hope you’re safe and happy and mostly, still you (the cat’s meow!). 🙂 Big non-contagious hugs, dear Teagan and Happy Halloween!!!

      Reply

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