Posted in Canada, Chocolate, Star Wars

We’ll Cream You With Our Tim Hortons Donuts, You Hosers!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/What is the deal, America?
I thought we had an agreement.
We Canadians have tried to be polite neighbours; we’re kinda known for it.

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I feel kinda let down. Canada has kept our part of the bargain, regularly offering up sacrificial talent to the USA volcano: Michael J. Fox, Ryan Reynolds, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, William Shatner https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/20/shatners-world-we-just-live-in-it/

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Tricia Helfer, Alex Trebek, Lorne Michaels, Michael Bublé, Mary Pickford (yes, American’s sweetheart was Canadian), James Doohan, Elizabeth Arden, Joni Mitchell, Arcade Fire, Sandra Oh, Monty Hall, Michael Cera, Tommy Chong, Nathan Fillion https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/24/firefly/

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Dave Foley, Yannick Bisson, Cobi Smulders, Wayne Gretzky, The Tragically Hip, Leslie Neilsen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/11/04/airplane/ Rick Moranis, Seth Rogen, Neil Young, Margaret Atwood, Martin Short, Justin Bieber, Avril Lavigne, Peter Jennings, Rich Little, Morley Safer, Barenaked Ladies, Fay Wray…

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Eugene Levy, Carrie-Ann Moss, Frank Gehry, Drake, Ryan Gosling https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/03/09/heres-to-the-ones-who-dream/ Shania Twain, Joshua Jackson, Eric McCormack, Neve Campbell, Kiefer Sutherland, Donald Sutherland, Brendan Fehr, Joe Shuster, Margot Kidder…

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Celine Dion, Glenn Ford, Ellen Page, Andrea Martin, Pamela Anderson, Catherine O’Hara, Leonard Cohen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/10/10/ive-told-the-truth-i-didnt-come-to-fool-you/ Lorne Greene, John Candy, Will Arnett, BTO, Trailer Park Boys, The Guess Who, James Cameron, Dave Thomas, Paul Gross, and more…

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Now we’re going to war? Over wood and dairy? Really?

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Canadians forced to don our uniforms of toques and parkas, eh, and hoard rations of maple syrup, poutine, butter tarts, and beer for the battles! Ski-Doo Fleets! Canoe Armadas! We’ll cream you with our Tim Hortons donuts, you hosers!

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 Speak truth to power, tell the Emperor he’s not wearing any clothes, Oh Lord, I feel like scrubbing my mind of that horrifying orange image. How can you trust a guy that says he’s gonna pull out then doesn’t? Obviously talking about Trump pulling out of NAFTA here. https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

Fighting with both your neighbours, Canada and Mexico, America, who’s the problem child? https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/04/happy-4th-of-july/

https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/Canada isn’t known as the 51st state for nothing. Canada and America are BFFs, I thought it would be easier…to stay friends, well, except throwing shade during that nasty little war over 200 years ago, but Canada wasn’t even a country then, we’re only turning 150 this July 1stHappy Birthday Canada! https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/07/01/happy-canada-day-eh/

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Maybe you’d like us more if we added yet another Canadian superhero, say, to The Avengers?  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/02/the-avengers-age-of-oldtron/
How about Captain Concussion, a hockey player caught in a Gamma radiation blast from an experimental Zamboni (a real word, say it a few times, it’s fun).

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Captain Concussion could use his superpowers to fight Iced Z, the Zamboni driver who got turned into an arch-villain during the blast and bring awareness to concussions. Stan Lee could show up selling beer and snacks at the hockey games. And we’ve got some groovy 70’s music too, how about a StarCanuckLord in the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie?

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Come on, we’re trying, we elected a moderate-yoga-posing-legalizing-marijuana- -nonorange-hot Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (not perfect, but seems like he’s actually part of the human race).

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But it’s not enough, is it, America, I know, Blame Canada, we’re not a real country anyway (thanks South Park).

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And France, you too? I gave you a pass on escargot, but frog legs – please, I’m a Kermit fan https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/17/on-the-right-track-muppets-they-were-sewn-that-way/. https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

French is one of Canada’s official languages, some facsimile of English is the other. We have a whole French province, we love French Toast, French Fries, French cheese, Lord knows we drink more than our share of French wine…

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France, you have the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Johnny Depp drinking living there (is there really another Pirates of the Caribbean movie, talk about not pulling out in time). https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

Please don’t let Russia/Putin control your election like it did with the #Election2016 and #Brexit – aren’t you kinda notorious for revolutions against tyrants?

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The same goes for upcoming elections in other countries, ie. Britain – you’ve given us so much, where would I start? Music, Monty Python, Doctor Who, Jane Austen, Star Wars filming there (May the Fourth be with you https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/05/04/may-the-4th-be-with-you/)…

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We still accept endless visits from Prince Charles/Camilla when you know some prefer Kate Middleton, Prince William, Princess Charlotte, Prince George, and Prince Harry. We still have the Queen on our money.

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Germany Albert Einstein https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/02/iq/      https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/04/05/overwhelmed/  beer, Bach, bratwurst, Christmas trees, U2’s unhealthy obsession with Berlin, Beethoven…

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New ZealandLord of the Rings and Flight of the Conchords, say no more. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/10/flight-of-the-conchords/

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This hating on Canada by The White House will have ramifications for many. In Canada, we already pay more for most stuff than Americans do; now our dollar shrank, meaning we’ll pay even more for books (noooo!), food, shelter, clothes, medicine, and even, gasp, chocolate.

https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/Canadians are, er, unique…

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But America, won’t you please, please won’t you be my good neighbour again? I miss you. A lot.https://yadadarcyyada.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/well-cream-you-with-our-tim-hortons-donuts-you-hosers/

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Posted in sleep, Uncategorized

Follow Your Dreams. Go To Bed.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/17/follow-your-dreams-go-to-bed/ I’m tired of being told to sleep. Even more tired of being told to sleep more. You’d think I sleep in a crib with bunny sheets, stuffies, and a Nightmare Before Christmas mobile for the amount I’m told to go to sleep. Everyone is telling me to sleep, wishing me a good night’s sleep, telling me all about the importance of sleep. Magazines and blog posts tell me to sleep. Books tell me to sleep. Family and friends tell me to sleep. TV tells me to sleep, even provides programs that attempt to bore me to sleep, nice try TV, still awake.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/17/follow-your-dreams-go-to-bed/
I’m mocked by the benefits of sleep. I know that sleep is connected to the brain and it’s the most important organ, then again, look what’s telling me that, my left brain barely knows what my right brain is doing.

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Sleep promotes creativity, attention, apparently it helps heal, restore, keeps anxiety, depression, colds and other ailments at bay, and improves memory….Hmm, what were we talking about? Oh yes, sleep. It helps you lose weight, build muscle, stop inflammation. Doesn’t sleep sound amazing?

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I crave sleep, like it’s a plump juicy strawberry covered in rich chocolate nestled on fluffy clouds of whipped cream. I dream of sleep. I covet it. Sometimes sleep envy eats at me like a rat gnawing on cotton candy at a country fair.

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I worship sleep, who needs celebrities, I only want to imitate sleep, I want to be sleep. Hi sleep – I’m your #1 fan (and those aren’t pillows).

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I even snuggle with my bed, swaddling it with a decent thread count, soft blue sheets decorated with sheep, each with their own number, jumping over fences. My room is almost as dark as the bottom of the Mariana Trench, perhaps darker than the Batcave when Batman can’t find the light-switch.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/11/17/follow-your-dreams-go-to-bed/I slept during the first trimester of pregnancy, I’d do just about anything for sleep, but, ummm, well…

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Like many with Fibromyalgia https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/31/fibromylagia-is-just-another-word-for-lazy/ https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/ I’ve tried: melatonin, serotonin, valerian, chamomile, progressive muscle relaxation, sleeping pills, tryptophan, alcohol, Tai Chi, yoga, meditation, alien cuddle exercises…

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sleep masks, abdominal breathing, cognitive behaviour therapy, kava, but no, my alpha waves are trouble makers. Is it any wonder I love the band R.E.M.? I’ve even thought of building a wall between my alpha waves and my delta waves and make the alpha waves pay for the wall. And now as an added bonus I’m playing that hot new game: blankets on, blankets off, blankets on, blankets off…what was the prize again?

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Insomnia has some benefits. I get exercise walking and I experience the, er, inspiration of public transit because I won’t drive when tired. I’ve also been organizing my home on the theory if I’m extremely organized I’ll sleep better. So far, no luck, but maybe obsessively organized people are just be too lazy to search for stuff. I wouldn’t want to be seen as lazy.

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I wish I could use the time to write or do something else productive, but alas, after a certain hour my mind is more or less mush.

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You can’t always get what you want, like sleep, but that doesn’t mean you just give up. You keep going, keep trying, keep reaching, whether it’s for a forty winks, a job, losing weight, climbing Mount Everest, seeking to right wrongs, swimming the English Channel, help others, being an author, scientist, artist, astronaut, singer, teacher, leader…

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I do have ambiguous feelings about a creepy Sandman sneaking into my room, or some strange Greek god invading my dreams, shudder, what form would he take on these days, no thanks, Morpheus. It’s not like I’m asking to be Rip Van Winkle or Sleeping Beauty, just less tired.

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Maybe I could think of my insomnia as a fascinating quirk, but all things considered, I’d rather be sleeping.

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Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate (it should be every single day!) and remember, shopping is not the true meaning of being thankful…really.

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“Did you sleep well?”
“No, I made a couple of mistakes.”
~Steven Wright

Posted in Blogs, Books, Canada, Doctor Who, Fibromyalgia, Internet, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

To Blog or Not To Blog

1funny452I have always been me and despite many attempts to make me not me, I still seem to manage to be me.

That’s not always a good thing.

Read some of my stuff, comment, critique, praise, ignore, puzzle, or just do whatever you want.

That’s my blog bio…everything else you’ll learn in my posts or you don’t care.

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Every time I think I understand, even vaguely, how the world works, it tilts on its axis, spinning me right round, baby right round, like a record. Turns out, the blogging world is no different. Like everyone else on the planet (that might be a slight exaggeration, overstatement was never my strong suit), I have a blog. If I had a cat it would have a blog about sleeping, eating, and occasionally chasing a mouse lurking around the property. The mouse would have a blog about his adventures trying to escape the cat that bothers him while he’s trying to lurk around the property. And so on.

August 2013,  I started this blog to relax, to practice writing, and to be more concise, with varying degrees of success. My Very Me-ness doesn’t always translate well, but no need to worry (hear that brain, no need to worry…forget it, it’s not listening), I’ve been embraced by readers, bloggers, etc. and I feel snug as a bug in a virtual rug.

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Blogging has been difficult in many ways, but has made me fall in love with writing again, which guided me to start a year-long project to add even more happiness (Or contentment? Peace of mind?) to my life.

I more or less doubled my 7 goals in my first week https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/03/dont-worry-be-happy/, even giving up 4 TV shows, but then I added 2, drum roll please, ok, I really only gave up 2 (math rules!).

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This week’s goals:
1. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and play a game with my son (I want chess, he wants Pokémon, maybe we need a Pokémon chess set).
2. Remove 100 calories per day (No cheating, it can’t be veggies…Step away from the cookies).
3. Remove 15 minutes or more of screen time per day and just write, doesn’t matter what.
4. Remove 15 minutes or more per day of sitting time (replace with Yoga and Tai Chi).
5. Spend 15 minutes or more per day submitting articles and manuscripts, especially knowing they might be rejected.
6. Change 15 minutes of internet time to relaxation and rest.
7. Give away, use, or get rid of 1 or more items a day.

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1funny433Blogging myths busted and wisdom learned:

1. Blogging is solitary. Wrong. Blogging, my friends, is social and addictive, like sugar, and as the song by Maroon 5 says (I’ve tried to get it out of my head, believe me), I need a little sweetness in my life, your sugar, yes, please!

2.You need to have something to say to have a blog. How snotty and daft was that assumption? Everyone has something to say.

3. Blogging is simple. Wrong again, complicated, yet worth it, despite the intricacies that sometimes make you feel like your head might explode. Mistakes have been made and more shall be made; it’s all part of learning.

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4. Success! I thought I needed to be a world-famous writer, then I saw comments that said I’d made people laugh, smile, and think. Anything else that comes along would be the icing on this delicious, chocolatey cake of a blog experience thanks to you, dear readers.

5. Blogging is constant. Wrong. As with life, the only thing you can count on in blogging is change.
For example, I believe the WordPress motto is: If it ain’t broke, fix it a few times a day.
Twitter seems to have a midlife crisis every few weeks and I don’t know what happened to Facebook.
There are: trolls, traffic, topics, taboos, privacy issues, time, concentration…what was I saying? Oh yes, so the question today is, to blog or not to blog?
For now, the answer is…why not?

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