Posted in Canada, COVID-19, Fibromyalgia, Star Wars

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…(you know you have to clap now, do it, just do it!).

Your job’s (bet Guaranteed Basic Income doesn’t look so “Commie” now huh?) now a stay-at-home-joke, you’re more-or-less broke…


Your love life’s “virtually” D.O.A.


It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear (if you remember how to drive).


When it hasn’t been your minute, your hour, your day, your week, your month
Or even your year (Any 2020 hindsight advice?).

But I’ll be here for you (in my home)
When the rain starts to pour


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
Even if we weren’t “FRIENDS” before


I’ll be here for you (in my home)
‘Cause you’re probably here for me too (in your home
)

You’re still in bed, or the tub, or the tub is now your bed, at ten (AM, PM, who knows these days?).

And for many, “essential” work (less work if people could listen/read/try) never seems to stop…

Your breakfast might be lunch or dinner (those can all be chocolate during a pandemic, right?), then again, who the Hell knows or cares?

Things are going great, if you’re counting the number of swears…

Your mother (Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, especially my Mom  https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/09/happy-mothers-day-i-just-ate-your-gift/   https://yadadarcyyada.com/2017/05/13/the-mother-of-all-blogs/ ) warned you there’d be days like these (not weeks or months), but she didn’t tell you all this could really happen, seriously, this is for real…

it seems surreal, but yup, happening:

 We’d be streaming incessantly (beyond Netflix, YouTube and Amazon Prime). I’ve been testing all the “Free Trials” of streaming services, I’ve tried: “Acorn TV”, “Disney+”, “Crave/HBO/TMN”, “Britbox”, and heading toward “Apple TV”, “National Geographic”, “Smithsonian”, and “Shudder” – who knows how far I’ll get, drinking my tea, watching me some “free”…

Who knew people would be fighting over and hoarding: hand sanitizer and yes, toilet paper (Seinfeld once again predicts the future).

We’d be trying to not gain something called, “COVID-19”, the virus or lbs.

Thanking our essential workers (literally not enough “Thank Yous” in the universe for that), even though many people and politicians didn’t even think they were worth giving decent pay, or really caring about them at all, until they needed them (newsflash geniuses, you/we always needed them).

Trying to learn languages. For me, I’m trying to learn the important stuff first, for example: “Spero tu stia passando una bella giornata miei adorati lettori, avete pasta per me? “(“I hope you are having a nice day my beloved readers, do you have pasta for me?”); Ich brauche Kuchen” (“I need cake”); “¿Donde estan las galletas?” (“Where are the cookies?”); “Je veux de la pizza” (“I want pizza”)…just some essential phrases.

Traveling on YouTube (who knew it would take a pandemic to turn me into a travel blogger?).

We’d be learning (some of us) all kinds of new terms, like the ones below (how many did you know?):

  • Coronavirus

  • COVID-19

  • SARS-CoV-2

  • Physical/social distancing

  • R0/reproductive rate

  • Drug repurposing

  • Viral shedding

  • Flattening/flatten the curve

  • Planking/plank the curve

  • Bending/bend the curve (I feel like these will also be diet names soon)

  • Contact tracing

  • Data models (or as I call them, data stick insects)

  • Community transmission/spread

  • Fomite

  • Vector (what’s your vector, Victor?)

  • Essential workers (again, thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it)

  • Nasopharyngeal swabs

  • Oropharyngeal swabs (updates from Dr. Fauci, Dr. Tam, Dr. Birx and others are like watching police dramas, they all talk about swabs a lot, “Did you get the swabs?”, “I got the swabs”, “Did you need another swab?”, “What do ya mean we’re out of swabs? Get more swabs!”, “We need billions of swabs!”. Police shows and pandemics, brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, but that’s a whole other story https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/03/18/this-is-not-a-toy/)

  • PPE (personal protective equipment)

ACE-2 is a gateway receptor (who knows what it will lead to?).

Be comforted by bedtime stories from: Dolly Parton, David Tennant, Oprah, Stephen Fry, Betty White, Rami Malek, James McAvoy, Sarah Silverman, Chris Pine, Kristen Bell, Tom Hardy – ooooh, can he read them in Bane (he was so ahead of his time, he worse a mask, quarantined a city and cancelled all events, including sports) or Venom voices too, please?

And James Earl Jones – seriously, Darth Vader reads me to sleep, “May The Fourth Be With You” and Beware the “Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth” and too much spicy food on Cinco de Mayo could cause Revenge of the Shi…well, you know, moderation, ok?.

 

Worrying about Murder Hornets, really, who came up with that name, at least make it alliterative, how about “Homicide Hornets” or “Horror Hornets”? Like this: “Slaughter Slugs”, “Maiming Moths”, “Assassin Ants”, “Snuff Snails”…

Getting slightly ever so bored with: baking (getting too warm now anyway); is there enough testing, not enough testing (it’s making me testy);

Zoomfail hashtags (don’t you wish you’d bought shares in Zoom?); “Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo”, kidding, who could ever get tired of that?,

people arguing about “Mandela Effect” online, hmmm, or maybe that never happened.

Making masks, cleaning masks, remembering to bring your masks, remembering not to wear a hockey mask to the grocery store…so many things to remember, what was I talking about again?

Being on video, seriously, before all this I hated going on camera or video, now it’s, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Zoom, no, no, not that close!”.

People actually listening to someone that lies incessantly, slurs their words, and suggests we could kill COVID-19 by injecting disinfectant into the body and/or UV light, no buddy, why are you like this, why are you the way you are?

That we’d be staying so much: “Stay Home”, “Stay Safe”, “Stay Connected”, “Stay At Home”, “Stay Healthy”, Sit/”Stay”/Roll Over, “Stay in place”, “Stay trippy dude”, “Stay the course”, “Stay fresh” (seriously, you need to shower even if you’re isolated alone)…

I can easily imagine self-isolation has lead to re-enacting musicals with Star Wars action figures, Muppets and/or hand shadows, I’m sure someone somewhere is doing this (please, please, please send me links).

That our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (Canada rules!) would tell us the things, the things he knows that stop you from “speaking moistly”?!?

 I’ll be here for you
When the someone knocks on your door (gasp!)
I’ll be here for you
When you’re dreaming Obama is still POTUS


I’ll be here for you

‘Cause you’re here for me too (on Zoom?)

No one could ever know me (cause I’m wearing a mask)
No one could ever see me (cause I’m doing a flask task at home)


Seems now more people know
What it’s like to be…chronically me?


Someone to Facetime (Skype/Zoom/Messenger, text, call, whatever) the day with.


Make it through Quarantine Life (only going out for necessities of life, I don’t know about toilet paper, but donuts count, right?) with…


Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah

I’ll be here for you
When the sun starts to shine


I’ll be here for you
When for the great outdoors we pine…


I’ll be here for you
‘Cause we’re (patiently?) waiting for a sign

I’ll be here for you (speaking moistly)


I’ll be here for you (singing: Andrea Bocelli; Ultravox; Ramones; Ed Sheeran; Elton John; Cher (if we could turn back time); Green Day – don’t wannabe an, well, you-know-what;

Foo Fighters; Nivana; The Beatles – “Don’t Come Together”, “We All Live in Self-Quarantine”;

U2, The Police “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/14/dont-stand-so-close-to-me/

and Queen https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/, and so many more, all totally, totally, totally in tune).


I’ll be here for you (sissying my quarantine fashion, picture me rocking Mickey Mouse leggings, Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt, Paddington coat, and Nirvana baseball cap https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/03/17/im-still-standing-yeah-yeah-yeah/, strangely enough, no pictures, that I know of, while putting red ribbons on the trees to say “Thank You – no thanks are ever ever ever going to be enough for our essential workers, but you could start with simple steps: Be Kind, Stay Home, Wash Your Hands).


Hope you’re here for me too (but like, not here here, like, there but emotionally here, together but apart, but connected, so non-contagious virtual hugs and chats and tweets, comments, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, and all that, but over there while I’m over here, but we’ll both be there, well, here for each other…I’m confused. I need more simplicity https://yadadarcyyada.com/2020/01/26/aggressive-simplification/ What about you?).


 

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Posted in Books, Political, Uncategorized

Would You Baptize an Extraterrestrial?

1funny73

The world is full of sure people.
I don’t mean confident people.
I mean sure peoplesure they’re right and those that don’t agree with them are wrong.

They know what is best. They know what is ‘the best’.
They know where you should live, what you should wear, drive, read, watch, worship, love, hate, etc.
I was more like that until someone made me unsure. In retrospect, they probably did me a favour, but it didn’t have to be so horrible. Ironically, they haven’t changed.
I knew what was right and wrong; I really knew what was wrong.
I didn’t know that what I didn’t know was more important than what I knew. I’m pretty sure about that.

Sure people don’t need to listen to other people, they’re already sure they’re right.
They’ve made up their minds. Often, not even facts will alter that.

I’m a voracious reader. I can tell you why I like or dislike a book, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.
Same goes for TV, movies, restaurants, clothes, technology.
I can recommend.
I can advocate.
I can oppose.
But only you can decide.

1bap2
Image/Random House

I was thinking of Sure People when reading a surprisingly funny and fascinating book, Would You Baptize An Extraterrestrial? (And Other Strange Questions from the Inbox at the Vatican Observatory) by two witty Jesuit astronomers, primarily involved in research, who try to answer all the wild and wacky questions posed to the Vatican, but in a conversational, refreshing, and unexpectedly, amusing style. Pope Francis said last year he would baptize a Martian…hmm, are they trying to prepare us for a coming invasion? 1bap5This book tries to show that religion and science don’t have to be at odds. People can believe in both. Do you think that’s true, dear readers? I certainly think we have more important things to worry about. We too often go for ‘or’ when we should use ‘and’. Economy and the environment, not or. Security and civil liberties, not or.

Which brought me to trust, can we trust when we’re not sure?
We can observe, listen, use our instincts and critical thinking, look for facts, question, see the world as it is…I prefer reality, if I want fantasy, I’ll watch TV or a movie, read a book or listen to governments.1bap1Which brings me back to, the Sures.  The more I learn, the more I hear, see, and observe, the more I wonder.

I’m only sure of so many things in this world: Love. Compassion. Hope. And cookies, and who knows, maybe those aren’t even what they seem.xf11