May dances in,
dances with dreadfully
dances ribbons of hope,
twisting pretty, pure,
about what once was,
what will be,
and never be again.
In the moonlit
rattling bones of night
I, awake pondered,
what if those
five stages of grief:
are a stale simplification?
Is life ever that simple
or that linear?
My 5 Stages of Belief, Relief, oh Good Grief!
1. I can’t deny I was kind of missing my old tagline, Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure. Trying to decide, what do you think, dear readers, I’ve believed a lot of things…
2. Some days I feel I should scrub my eyes after reading some comments sections and news. I’m a walking paper cut as I read about people, even leaders and wannabes rage, lie, attack, hyperbole flying, anger roaring, name-calling like schoolyard bullies. People lap it up like reality cream. We might be sliding down a slobbery, slatternly nowhere-to-clutch-on-and-save-ourselves slippery slope. Mike Judge should re-release Idiocracy, exaggerated for effect, but maybe not as much as we’d like. It reminds me of RKO 281, based on Orson Welles’ struggle to make and release Citizen Trump, I mean, Kane. Why reward and encourage those who spread hate? Why feed the beast?
3. Some days even doing errands isn’t what you bargained for. I heard a woman trying to return a bathing suit she’d ironed. A dog dressed as Darth Vader (probably not by choice). Felt accosted by an overenthusiastic greeter when I just wanted to look at some books. Even the book covers were more than I bargained for – various states of half-dress; invisible force fields between people as they try to kiss; murdering someone or thinking about murdering someone; symbolism runs amok; people with words as clothes; moodiness; weird eyes; people with half faces; hot demons, aliens, wizards, vikings, pirates – all looking epic; folks gazing off into the distance looking pensive or constipated. And don’t even get me started on titles….
4. Remember my Happiness Project? I figured out fairly quickly (well, quickly for me, it’s all relative, right?) that happiness doesn’t come in a project, happiness has to come from doing, being, happiness has to flow naturally, happiness cannot be forced. But I had some fun, hope you do too.
5. Not ashamed to have belted out the lyrics to cheesy 80’s Starship classic,
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now with Bill Hader in The Skeleton Twins.
I accept and embrace my cheesy side, it helps me write,
helps me keep smiling, laughing, despite,
well, so much, including Fibromyalgia: https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/08/08/fibromyalgia-is-a-four-letter-word/
SNL, Trainwreck, etc., my comcrush it still growing. Still not sure about Angry Birds though, Hitchcock flashbacks and all.
Waitress is certainly a fitting, quirky little Mother’s Day film. It reminded me of many things, such as but not limited to: Nathan Fillion – Castle, One Life To Life, Halo, Buffy https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/29/buffy-the-vampire-slayer/ Firefly https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/10/24/firefly
is as adoradorkable as the movie itself.
Also, Keri Russell – The Americans, Felicity, Austenland https://yadadarcyyada.com/2013/12/29/austenland/ is an under-rated actress. I’m having a craving for Quiche (that counts as pie, right?). Watching Andy Griffith I wish he’d been on The Walking Dead as like, Rick Grimes’ Grandpa – he could’ve just charmed the zombies, talked some Matlock sense into them. I’d now settle for The Christopher Walken Dead.
Life is pie (or pi, if you’re mathematically inclined). You don’t have to like every variety, you don’t even have to know every variety, in fact, new varieties are being made all the time…but some of it is so awesome, light, and flaky, it makes you want to take bite after bite, searching for hidden delights.
This Mother’s Day maybe I’ll plant a tree, even if I’ll never sit in the shade of that tree, someone, someday will.
So if this world runs out of Mothers (noooo!), or bloggers (unlikely), we’ll still have each other, nothing’s gonna stop us, nothing’s gonna stop us now, although we might get distracted, by chocolate…or something.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a blog, must be in want of readers.
For some, blogs take off faster than a Nascar driver chasing after sponsorship, for most others, like me, it’s a slow ride…
I know some of the reasons it’s been a slow ride, I’ve broken the first rule of The Blog Club, don’t talk about The Blog Club, no, that’s not it, oh yes, find a niche. Never have, probably never will. I figure if I get bored, you will too.
To me, giving blogging advice is like trying to explain to someone how to: dance, paint, drive, or make love in a canoe. Sometimes you just have to do it and make the mistakes, have the close calls, possibly tip over at the most inopportune moment.
When asked my blogging advice I offered https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
…but with a rebel yell you cried more, more, more…so here goes:
1. Choose a name for your blog. I didn’t know this was important when I choose mine. Live and learn.
2. Size matters, but it’s more about how you use it, mind out of the gutter, I’m taking about post size. Remember, it doesn’t matter how much they love your posts, your readers have lives.
3. Try to use images that work with your post. Adding a random picture of an adorable kitten just to suck up to the cats who run the internet might be smart, but come on, who does that?
4. Don’t get too stressed about the numbers, like right now, most numbers seem down on WordPress, who knows why? First, I blamed the Royal baby, but Princess Charlie is just too awfully cute. Then Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, Mother’s Day, elections, weather, labour unrest, but in the end I had to admit the truth – it’s WordPress. They probably changed their algorithms, come on, they’re always changing something, so statistically (and they love stats), it has to be them.
5. Poofread, er, proofread or get someone else to (and you can always correct it afterwards). We all make mistakes.
6. I can’t make you love me, well, actually, my posts, but one of the best parts about blogging is connecting with your readers and other bloggers, without all of you, what’s the point? Like everything else, sometimes you have to take someone’s hand and other times, offer yours.
7. It’s not a race or a contest. Don’t worry if a post is going to go viral, or get Freshly Pressed https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/ or be nominated for awards, or making you rich and famous. Take a deep breath. Right now is about right now.
8. Blogging advice can be confusing, here’s the problem, what I think is terribly catchy and clever might not be to others. Obviously I think I’m writing something good, otherwise why would I publish it? Do what you want to do.
9. To be a shameless self-promoting bloghussy like me or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous rejection while promoting on social media….aye, there’s the rub. I like Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest, but Facebook just lays there like a mouldy, old ad-filled sock.
10. Don’t worry about if you’re going to offend someone, it’s the internet, someone is always, and I mean always, offended. Always.
Who am I kidding? I have no idea what works. I’ve poured my heart out and had the post sit there, alone, shivering like the last leaf on a tree before winter. Just do what you feel is right, in the famous words of those sage philosophers, Cheap Trick, “Surrender, Surrender, but don’t give yourself away”.
What about you, dear readers, what would be your best blogging advice?
Someone asked me the things I would have done differently as a Mom. I could lie and say nothing, I was perfect, but it’s not true.
I would have cared a lot less about what people said.
I would have cleaned less and listened more.
I would have ignored the heartburn, swelling, and other difficulties of my pregnancy because my son was growing under my heart even as he took over my heart.
I would have gazed even more at my son’s amazing face because it took me too long to realize it changed often, and permanently.
I would have listened less to what people told me was ‘right’ or what I ‘should do’ and listened to my heart more.
I would have figured out earlier that I didn’t have to be Wonder Woman, Supergirl, and Martha Stewart combined; I was fine as just me.
I would have spent more time there, in that moment because in that moment, everyone was there and now they aren’t.
I’m glad I sat on the floor and played Thomas the Tank Engine.
I’m glad I rolled in the grass, built sandcastles, and almost threw up on rides.
I’m glad we ate popcorn in a couch fort.
I’m glad we made snow angels and laid in the grass finding shapes in the clouds.
I’m glad we laughed as we waded through muddy fields to get the best pumpkin ever.
I’m glad we ate ice cream and talked about all the ‘sharks’ in the river and giggled as we tried to name them.
I’m glad I never turned down a sticky kiss or told my son to wash his grubby hand instead of holding it.
Moms kiss boo-boos to make them better, go to appointments, love unconditionally, make sandwiches that may or may not be traded to other kids, laugh, cry, help with schoolwork, brush teeth, change diapers, read and cuddle, dance in bare feet to Elvis, nag repeatedly about cleaning rooms, and teach how to be in the world.
Enjoy the moment of being a daughter or son, of being a Mom, Dad, brother, sister, grandparent, friend, aunt, uncle, cousin – life is too quick and too complicated not too enjoy.
Save the future of the entire human race by allowing your son to hang out with a Terminator (then again, you can’t pick their friends).
Break into ABBA songs while trying to remember who your child’s father is.
Send your supernatural darling to the prom.
Nag your son, even from beyond the grave to maintain the family motel business and to shower his guests with attention.
Date your son when he travels back in time to your high school.
Expose secrets about corporations using toxic substances while in heels.
Stop selling Avon long enough to rescue an orphan with a cutting issue.
Raise little dragons to be upstanding members of the community – take that villager out of your mouth, honey, you don’t know where he’s been!
Keep a royal dynasty going by providing heirs…and spares.
Have enough children to make a baseball league.
Or keep the hills alive with the Sound of Music while escaping the Nazis.