Posted in Autism, Books, Uncategorized

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

1asp16I think it’s tragic that people have so many prejudices, especially about things they don’t understand. They don’t know what they’re missing.

Have you even known someone with: ALS, MS, Parkinson’s Disease, CP, Alzheimer’s, Tetanus, Pinched nerve, meningitis, Huntington’s Disease, Migraines, Epilepsy, Polio, stroke, or any of the other neurological disorder?

Would you tell someone who’d suffered a stroke to just talk properly? Unlikely.

Would you tell someone with ALS to stop being so lazy? No way.

Tell someone with Alzheimer’s they could remember if they just tried harder? Doubtful.

Someone with Parkinson’s to stop shaking, that they were just trying to get attention? Improbable.

Yet people with Autism are constantly told to grow up, smarten up, man up, stop being so lazy. People scoff, blame, bully, abuse, mock, make jokes, call names, etc.
Autism is a neurological condition just like any other. They have as much control over how their brain works as any other neurological disorder.

Hopefully someday Asperger’s won’t even be a diagnosis, people will start to respect Neurodiversity.
Until then, they need help and one of the best places to start is OASIS (Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support), http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ where I admit I’m somewhat of a lurker, as I am on most Asperger’s and Autism sites. There to find information and resources for my son, I don’t always feel like plunging into the fray myself. At least OASIS is a respectful site, not prone to the relentless bickering, squabbling, arguing, and bullying to which some Autism sites fall prey.1asp15

I wish more of the Autism community could pull together, avoid the infighting, and work toward a common goal of helping those with Autism live better lives.

I was lucky enough to borrow an ARC copy from Netgalley.com of Asperger Syndrome: The OASIS Guide by Patricia Romanowski Bashe, 3rd Edition, published by Harmony Books/Crown Publishing available October 14, 2014.
When my son was diagnosed with Asperger’s years ago there was little information, now there’s a lot of misinformation, but thankfully there are sites and books like OASIS. Full of incredible, insightful inspiration, advice, and more, this comprehensive guide can help put things into perspective when your head is swirling.
A refuge on those days when you just feel like crying.

It seems lately stated or unstated Asperger’s characters are all over TV, in movies, and in books, with varying degrees of success and respect:

1asp6Community, House, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, Sherlock, Elementary,

Boston Legal, Bones, The Bridge, Skins, ReGenesis, Grey’s Anatomy, Silicon Valley,

 curious incident of the dog in the night-time,  Edward Scissorhands,

Adam, Monk, Hannibal, Temple Grandin, 24, Triggers, Mercury Rising, Parenthood, 

Fringe, Alphas, Doc Martin, Dear John, 1asp9 House Rules, Criminal Minds, P.S. I Love You,

Rain Man, Salmon Fishing in Yemen, CSI, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,

Mozart and the Whale, My Name is Khan, Snow Cake, Touch, Somersault,

and more.

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Most often showcased as charming, eccentric, funny, cute, and usually brilliant Nerds or Geeks who have great jobs, loyal and caring family and friends, etc.
Unfortunately the prognosis is not often that optimistic.
I can’t emphasize enough that this is a debilitating disorder, not entertainment.
Not  functioning is not charming.
Not being able to keep a job or friends isn’t cute.
Getting into difficulties or danger because you can’t comprehend situations is not brilliant.
Being left out, mocked, teased, bullied, or hurt is not funny.
Being medicated or hospitalized or jailed is not eccentric.
Struggling all day, every day to even grasp some of the world around them isn’t amazing.
It may make for good entertainment, but in real life, people have to live with the consequences.

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Posted in Autism, Books, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized

All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome

Sometimes simple and straightforward are best.1cats1

All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopmann (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) explains Asperger’s Syndrome perfectly. And it has adorable pictures of cats being adorable.

This delightful and deceptively minimal book is the first book you should read if someone you love is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (also called Aspergers Syndrome, or Asperger Syndrome, or Asperger’s, or Aspergers).sheldon6

The only downside? Like Sheldon Cooper (played so brilliantly by Jim Parsons) on The Big Bang Theory, it makes it sound much cuter than it usually is; for those who have it and those who love them. Or Sherlock Holmes (take your pick, the most recent, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller) which makes it seem exciting…Or all the other examples of Aspergian or High-Functioning Autism on TV, in movies or books.

The truth, it’s difficult, frustrating, wonderful, sad, amazing, and confusing…for all concerned.

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IM000556.JPGThere are many great books I would recommend, but these are quite helpful, informative and above all, accessible.
Borrow them from a friend, library, or Autism association; or purchase them in store or online.

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome – Dr. Tony Attwood; Inside Asperger’s Looking Out – Kathy Hoopmann; An Asperger Dictionary of Everyday Expressions – Ian Stuart-Hamilton; Kids in the Syndrome Mix – Martin L Kutscher, MD; The Oasis Guide to Asperger Syndrome – Patricia Romanowski Bashe & Barbara L. Kirby (Harmony Books); The Autism Discussion Page on the Core Challenges of Autism – Bill Nason (Jessica Kingsley Publishers)1cats10The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children with Asperger’s Syndrome – William Stillman (Adams Media)
The Asperger’s Answer Book – Susan Ashley, Ph.D. (Sourcebooks, Inc.)
Empowered Autism Parenting – William Stillman (Jossey-Bass)
The Fabric of Autism – Judith Bluestone (Sapphire Enterprises, LLC)
How To Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Asperger’s – Jennifer McIlwee Myers (Future Horizons)
Quirky, Yes Hopeless, No – Cynthia La Brie Norall, Ph.D w/ Beth Wagner Brust (St. Martin’s Griffin)1cats9

Thank goodness for Jessica Kingsley Publishers, I don’t know what I would have done without them.

If your child, spouse, friend, or yourself is diagnosed – don’t panic!

HHgttg don't panic
1cats3Media, doom and gloomers, people holding mock funerals for their children when they’re diagnosed, etc., even those who wish to help can intentionally or unintentionally scare you.
Don’t get caught up in the conflict people, people that love to make everything a drama.
Don’t hyper-focus on people ‘understanding’, including your family or friends, how could they understand? Just hope they’re supportive.
Focus on helping the person you love.
They’re still the same person, you just have a diagnosis that will aid you and others, to help them.
Helping the person you love find the skills and resources is taxing enough without adding fuss.

It’s also important to remember Autism isn’t a straight road, there are many, many twists and turns, ups and downs.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ~Confusius

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My son has Asperger’s and several medical conditions, but is doing better than anyone would have predicted.
Yet when a setback comes along, a medical procedure; other anxiety-provoking situations, people, challenges; illness, or something that is overwhelming I have to remember, it may seem like one step forward, two back, but he still took that one step forward.

But it’s still been a long few days.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

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