Posted in kindness, Movies, Music, Televison

What If…?

Ever heard ’em say you gotta live like you’re dyin’?
I better get on, cause time’s a-flyin’, yeah

Lyin’ in my bed at night I’m thinkin’
What if? What if…?
Guess it’s not too late
This heart is still a-beatin’

Hate livin’ a “woulda shoulda coulda” life.
Can’t go back in time, no DeLorean, no TARDIS.
Gotta move forward, even through the endless strife.
What if, what if, what if is too big a miss
.

Maybe I gotta dream a bit bigger
Burn a bit brighter

Dig a bit deeper
Reach a bit further
Love a bit harder

Wanna go ahead with no what ifs.
Wanna move ahead with no what ifs
.

What if…?
Those two lit
tle words carry soooo much baggage…

  • Suitcases full of regret.
  • Carry-ons stuffed with yesterday’s woes.
  • Trunk of troubles.
  • Duffel bags filled with heads full of sorrow.
  • Portmanteau of problems.
  • Valise of grief.
  • Chest of contrition.
  • Gladstone bag of self-reproach.
  • Attache of shame.
  • Briefcase of emotional bruises.
  • Luggage of loss…
    What if, what if, fillin’ ’em up or toss them out?

Marvel asks the question, “What if…?” each week in their Disney+ series, “What if…?”, reminding us that one choice, one moment can change things forever…

Yet in this “golden” age of social media, instant gratification, and rushing, rushing, rushing (did I mention rushing?), we think less and less about how one moment, one choice can affect us and so many others. We get caught up in being heard, seen, being right, being busy, we forget to stop and think about others. It’s terrifying how little we think of how our choices affect others. Truly terrifying.

We forget the most important rule, do unto others…what you’re saying, what you’re doing affects not only you, but many others.

They say you gotta be brave, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser. But what if your bravery is hiding in the closet? What if your boldness is taking an extended vacation? What if your wisdom has been elected Mayor of Dumbtown?

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger.
What if you’re ooey and gooey? What if you’re as flimsy as a politician’s promise? What if you’re as weak as an adorable fluffy kitten without the adorable or fluffy parts?

You gotta be cool, but what if your brain feels like it’s on fire? You gotta be calm, what if your life is an F5 Tornado? You gotta stay together, but what if you’re shattering into a million little pieces?

Last month I broke up with myself (“Hey baby, are you a “Star Wars” sequel? Cause I never want to see you again“). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/08/23/seems-breakin-up-was-easier-in-the-90s/

Before that I explained how i met your author (and maybe you should too), https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/05/21/how-i-met-your-author/

This month I’m trippin’ down the yellow brick road, tryin’ to find myself a brain, a heart, some courage, and a home. That “home” part may confuse those who know I just moved a couple of months ago. Yes, but sadly some aspects of my new home that would have helped me make an informed decision about moving into this torture chamber apartment, were, er, withheld. One of the biggest withholds, the icing on the crap cake…As of September 1st, new “neighbours”/post-secondary students (though I’ve called the entitled little blanks a whole lot of other names in the past few weeks). I’ve witnessed streaking and public urination…ugh. What else? Fights, extremely loud music (and not the good stuff), lack of social distancing, sharing red plastic cups, cigarettes, bottles…no masks, no brains, no hope. I weep for the future.

I’ve sadly had to cut back the activities of my support group, “Chronic Not Hopeless” https://yadadarcyyada.com/2021/01/30/chronic-not-hopeless/, we’re suffering from terrible migraines, lack of sleep, anxiety, and so much more. This isn’t just a nuisance, it’s hurting our health. But what to do? Say F it and live in a shoe? Nope, instead, we’re moving…again.

Instead of finding peace of mind,
I’m backed into a corner,
talkin’ to myself,
cryin’ to myself at night.
Filled with regret.
Back and forth through my mind.
Feelin’ like I lost a cosmic bet.
And the feeling coming from
my bones says, “Find a home”…

I’ve sadly learned/relearned important lessons. 

1) People don’t always tell you everything you need to make an informed decision and that can cost, physically, emotionally and fiscally.

2) This pandemic was never about saving the elderly, flattening the curve, stopping the spread. It was never about masks or vaccines. Lost lives, lost jobs, lost homes, lost health, so much loss. All the sacrifice. All the heartache. All the trauma. All so people could party. 

When the world smashes down on you…When people lie to you, how do you believe again? What if we all just treated each other with decency? What if we thought about others? What if instead of arguing about masks, vaccines, race, religion, medications, elections (broken systems), celebrities, and so much more, why not agree to disagree and try to make life better instead of so much worse?

This blog post inspired by some of my usual things, aka: chocolate; family; friends; music – my mind is simply a never-ending playlist; tea, hot chocolate, tea and more tea; romance novels, mystery novels, any kind of novels and non-fiction, ok, let’s be honest, I’d read the side of a cereal box – me likey words!); “The Walking Dead”, “Fear The Walking Dead”, “The Walking Dead: World Beyond” (I sense a pattern here but what oh what could it be?); sooo many documentaries; “Murder She Baked”, er and Wrote; “Mystery 101”; “McDonald and Dodds”; computers…anyone looking forward to the new “Downton Abbey” movie? And added to my unusual brainwaves:

Marvel’s “What If…?”, of course;
“Only Murders in the Building” (Star/Disney+)-
if you enjoy a good mystery, this one is full of
“what ifs” and “whodunits” – enjoyable performances
by Steve Martin, Martin Short, Selena Gomez with
guest appearances by Sting and Tina Fey;
entitled brats; kindness (we need more, more, more);
hidden traps; rain (what if we blame it on the rain?);
pumpkins;

And yet more, um, stimulus? Matthew West; Des’ree; Queen, White Stripes; “Cruella” (Emma Stone and Emma Thompson are awesome but the movie itself, sigh, way too long, probably like this post);

What else inspired this post besides
emptying my brain, er, I mean, “ER”…Generally really good,
lots of great stars
and would-be stars.

And I might be wrong but I think maybe I
could do some mediciney-type stuff now, it
seems to mostly involve saying things like:
“Get me a crash cart!”, “Crits are down!”,
“Are you my appendix? Because I feel like I should take you out.”,
“Pulse ox is stable!”, “Coding” (so much coding),
“I should take your temperature because you’re looking really hot!”,
“I’d specialize in you anyday…”,
“She’s getting tachy!”
(or was that Real Housewives?),
“You look a little down, maybe you need a a shot of Vitamin ME!”,

“I can’t wait to sleep cause ICU in my dreams every night”,
ok, wait, most of those are just me thinking of George Clooney,
Noah Wyle and Goran Višnjić
, umm, gulp, nevermind;

And still more…
“Roswell: New Mexico”;
“Secrets of Skinwalker Ranch”;
and wow, “The Suicide Squad” – 2021, with the help of James Gunn, DC finally got it right. “The Suicide Squad” is an R-rated cousin of The Guardians of the Galaxy, um, on crack? Margot Robbie rules as Harley Quinn aka Daddy’s Little Monster with fun/surreal bits from: Nathan Fillion, Peter Capaldi, John Cena, Sylvester Stallone (“Nom nom?”), Pete Davidson, Idris Elba, Daniela Melchior, Michael Rooker, David Dastmalchian, Taika Waititi, Sean Gunn, and the weasel (also Sean Gunn).

And of course, what always inspires, ice cream,
way too much ice cream
(is that a thing, way too much ice cream?);

Some other things that wandered into my life…
“Midnight Mass” (Netflix) –Mike Flanagan nods to Stephen King – in a “what if” wonderful mind mess, with a great soundtrack. “Midnight Mass”, “Haunting of Hill House”, “Haunting of Bly Manor”, “Hush“, etc., hmmm, I wonder if being born in Salem, Massachusetts influenced Flanagan to create and direct his horrors.
..


I took another bite out of the “Santa Clarita Diet”; thankful Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant make the undead so delightfully delicious.

And cookies, they never fail to motivate me, how about you?

I like to think people, books, TV shows, movies, etc. come upon you not when you need them, but when you can find something in them you need. For me, “The Starling” contained this message: some things are out of our control. I knew this, of course I knew this, yet sometimes I need to be reminded of certain things. Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Kevin Kline, Timothy Olyphant, Daveed Diggs, Skylar Gisondo, Loretta Devine don’t disappoint in this intense, with moments of levity, but to be sure, intense, dramedy. The subject matter, grief, is a very personal and should be treated with care. Why not treat everyone with care?

My biggest inspiraton? Autumn/Fall, my favourite season: Halloween, Thanksgiving, pumpkins (except pumpkin spice, I’m gonna say it, don’t like it, can we still be friends? I support your pumpkin spice love, if that helps); the crisp air and even crisper apples; the gorgeous ever-changing leaf show; soft sweaters; softer throw blankets; comfortable walks…

Happy Autumn and have a great fall…

Posted in Books, ebooks

See You Again

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/Sorry I’m not sorry…Not sorry I took a blogging break to question myself. I was seized with a feeling, a feeling that I had nothing else to say…I know that doesn’t stop some folks, but I didn’t want to waste my time or yours, you know, overstay my welcome. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/Then lately, everything I read or watched seemed to have the theme of atonement, redemption – maybe my brain was begging to reclaim my blog, atone for not believing in myself, redeem my poor little lonely blog sitting here, hoping against hope, to be read, so I thought, what the heck, a few more posts couldn’t hurt (er, famous last words?).https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry a couple of wonderful bloggers/authors, Teagan and John knew just how to lure me back, putting down Reese’s Pieces, or in this case, books/ARCs, to lead me back to blogging (Be Good).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

Atonement in Bloom, like the first book in the series (it is a series, please please please say it’s a series), roars and purrs with mystery, magic, hope, and intriguing characters you just need to know more about (unlike some people). This book review would not be complete without advising you of something quite dire indeed – this book should come with a warning label, “Read at your own risk, addictive and time-consuming in the best way possible”. Not sorry I’m not a big fan of flowers, never was, but I do like hedge mazes or a cool Labyrinth  (yes, including the awesome movie with David Bowie and the muppets) and this book had enough twists and turns to do any of those, even the Royal ones, proud. This is one of those Indie books, like it’s predecessor, that should be made quickly (but well) into a series of hit movies, starring, just to throw a few names out there: David Tennant, Aden Young, Norman Reedus, Nathan Fillion, Richard Armitage, John Krasinski, Ian Somerhalder, James Spader, Chris Pratt, Benedict Cumberbatch, James Roday…I’ve got a whole list (you know that’s right) and of course be these books should be and remain #1 on every Best Sellers List, magical and otherwise. They are simply the cat’s meow.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • John W. Howell is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, you will never be sorry if you visit his blog and books. https://johnwhowell.com/author/  His latest book, The Contract (Between Heaven and Earth)  is co-authored with Gwen M. Plano http://www.gwenplano.com/  (I look forward to reading more of her work as well). https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/It’s a complex story that could be hard-to-follow, perhaps because it’s such a unique fusion of the natural and supernatural, but instead this tactile and celestially charged story has wings that fly in a metaphysical rush through love, hope, honour, action, and mostly, redemption. It was one of those, I’ll-just-read-a-little-more-maybe-a-few-more-pages-just-one-more-chapter-until-I’d-devoured-the-whole-book-and-had-to-write-this-book-review-or-my-version-thereof type things. Heart-thumping, in more ways than one. I can clearly picture The Contract  as a movie, or a Netflix series (hint hint Netflix, get this before Hulu, Amazon Prime, Playstation Vue, HBO, or someone else gets it).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry I’m honest (even in book reviews, though I’ve severely tempered my extreme, sometimes remorseless bluntness over the years, so please, send me your books). Remember when honesty, truth, facts, used to be a good thing? If you think you have a valid point, or story, or belief, or you didn’t break the law, why lie?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry life isn’t fair (doesn’t mean I won’t complain about it now and again…and again?).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not overly sorry I didn’t get everything or give everything.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not much point being sorry I screwed up and will do so again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not even slightly sorry I have opinions and can still compartmentalize, be objective and effective…as can many others. #sorrynotsorry

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not particularly sorry I’m dumb about some things and smart about others, addicted to chocolate and gifs and memes and books…also, not sorry I’m not: young, rich, stunningly beautiful, stick insect thin, famous, infamous, or quiet.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry I ignore the trolls, their utter and intense cruelty, while still feeling slightly nauseated that people are so angry, so hurt, so pathetic that they have to lash out at others to feel better, or maybe just to feel anything?

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry I found the staggeringly absorbing TV series,  Rectify  Sundance/Netflix starring the remarkable Canadian-Australian actor Aden Young (in looks a cross between Nathan Fillion and Tom Hardy, but quite different from either, and I say that as a fan of all), https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/also, Abigail Spencer, Clayne Crawford, Linds Edwards, J.D. Evermore, J. Smith-Cameron, Nathan Darrow, Caitlin FitzGerald, Adelaide Clemens, Luke Kirby, as well as an impressive amount of Deadwood  and The Walking Dead  (idea for a new show, The Walking Deadwood? ) alumni. This is a compelling cautionary tale of how our carelessness with people can start chain reactions of brokenness. That despite unspeakable (but needs to be spoken of, long and loud) cruelty and injustice, you can find hope, kindness, justice, and even, redemption, sometimes in the most unlikely places. If this doesn’t fix in your mind how easily life can come undone and redone, I surely don’t know what would.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry I believe piracy is not a victimless crime, but shiver me timbers, charge less, yo ho ho and we’d buy more, you scurvy dogs!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry I don’t know everything. I can’t rectify all mine and the world’s problems. I can’t readily atone for all my alleged “sins”. Partly because I don’t see some of them as sins, my truth isn’t your truth and your truth isn’t my truth. Partly because time takes care of all that – a memory is not a fact. Perhaps I’m reaching an age where I’m unapologetic, but that’s a story for another day.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

  • Not sorry to see you again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2018/07/15/see-you-again/

Posted in Blogs, Canada, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Fibromyalgia, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Music, Parenting, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Can You Feel The Blog Love Tonight?

1blog52Turns out, being an adult is hard work.

Adding blogging to that and anxiety, well, it could be the proverbial straw.
When it’s quiet here on my blog, I have time to think.
Why am I really doing this?
Should I be doing this?
I have so much else to do, is this a distraction?
Or is blogging just another version of chocolate, sappy movies, wanting to cry, desperately wishing a time machine would materialize in my living room to whisk me back to a time when the biggest decisions I had to make were: what to wear to school, who to hang out with, what to listen to…Probably shouldn’t go back, I might scream at myself to quit wishing to grow up and just enjoy growing up.

1blog49

Some days I feel like blogging is more Hotline Blog (I’m assured Drake will drop this as a follow-up to his famous Hotline Bling)
You used to like me on my blog post
Late or early when I needed blog love
And I know when that hotline pinged
It could only mean one thing…
But these days, you’ve become a ghost
Wonder if you’re out there forgettin’ about my blog post
Doing other things, maybe making cinnamon toast

1funny1019

But blogging isn’t all about Likes, it’s about enjoying each other…

Learning. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Smiling.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/04/10/im-hooked-on-a-feeling/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/26/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/09/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/10/16/you-cant-handle-the-blogging-truth/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/05/12/i-cant-make-you-love-me/
https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/09/26/the-phantom-of-the-blogging-tips/

1blog15

I try to imagine what my blog would have been if I blogged as a child, you know, before I knew:

1. I’d have a computer, in my home.

2. I’d use this computer to tell perfect strangers (well, maybe not perfect) stuff about my life.

3. My worst recurring nightmare wasn’t fear, it was the fear of fear.

4. Bacon would become both hero and villain.

5.  Everyone lied to me about stuff, including but not limited to: Santa, this won’t hurt (it did), The Tooth Fairy, being “almost there” (we weren’t), there was no more chocolate (there was), and that I’d use math in real life…

1blog76

6. Life is less Game of Life and more Monopoly.

7. Power is a commodity, not necessarily the one that lights up your home.

8. What skin tags are, let alone having them.

9. The world is crawling with serial killers, if TV is to be believed.

10. Some people will still be mean, even as adults.

1balls5
11. I’d use numbers from a fortune cookie for lottery tickets.

12. My body would be my worst enemy.

13. I’d look more like Jessica Fletcher than Jessica Alba.

14. I’d still be watching Doctor Who, Monty Python, and so would my teen son.

15. I’d lose hours of my life to a mysterious world that delivers weird yet amusing things to me right at home (yes, including pizza and Amazon).

1blog78

16. I’d ever tire of Christmas (well, the commercialism of Christmas).

17. I’d try figgy pudding…get out there – try, visit, read, comment, share, take part in something different.

18. I’d let zombies into my home at least once a week…and love it.

19. You can’t eat all the cake, you have to share it, same goes for blogging.

20. I’d have many families – the one I was born into, the ones I found and found me, the ones I’ve made, and this amazing blogging community.

1blogs28

So get out there, hakuna matata – visit some blogs, enjoy each other, and never forget, you’re not alone.

 

Posted in Books, Uncategorized

MOTHER NATURE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU

nature14

We humans seem to have a love/hate relationship with Mother Nature. It’s like we’re either breaking up or making up and both seem equally violentnature5 and nasty.

1. We love nature, but only if it’s pretty or convenient.

2. There are many things in nature that want to kill us or eat us. That includes other humans.

3. You’re born with 300 bones, but by the time you’re an adult you have 206, and we’re so fragile, even a swan can break those bones.nature123. A lot of things in nature want to use us as unwilling hosts, sort of like Alien, but with less Sigourney Weaver.

4. Whether or not you believe in climate change, it sure seems like our climate is changing and not in a fun cartoony way.

nature115. There are things, most we can’t even see, that want to infect or poison us. Badly done naughty toxins, parasites, bacteria, viruses, etc., badly done.

6. Humans have tried to adapt to nature, but we discovered money and power and got really distracted.nature6

7. There are eels that can give off a charge of over 600 volts. And they probably cost less than hydro.

8. No other creature in nature sleeps on it’s back, except humans.

9. The Amazon rainforest produces over half the world’s oxygen supply – we should keep cutting that down.

10. Nature has given us the means to heal as well. If we don’t destroy what can help us first.

The good news for Mother Nature. She won’t have to put up with us for much longer. We’re doing more to ourselves than she ever could. Sadly, we’re trying to take her down with us.

The book Mother Nature Is Trying To Kill You is scary, but interesting and even amusing at times as Dan Riskin Ph.D. (Discovery Canada and Daily Planet) guides us through the 7 deadly sins of Mother Nature’s eccentricities. Some new ideas, some recycled, but all thought-provoking.