Posted in Books, motivational, satire

How To Be A Bestselling Author in 3 Days or Less

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

There’s a lot of noise out there about how to write a bestseller.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Why don’t we break it down.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Let’s simplify the process and get you to bestseller status in 3 days or less!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

1. Write a book.

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Use as many words as you think you need.

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Plots are plots (it’s all been done/redone/overdone; characters are key).

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Use a computer…

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typewriter…

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pencil or pen…

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None of it means anything if you don’t use your heart.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

2. Edit.

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Do not try this at home.

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Being your own editor is like trying to cure your own cancer.

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Don’t mistake skill or intent for reality.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

A friend, family member, professional editor, a dog or cat (if the communication is clear) – anyone (and I mean anyone) but you.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

3. Get published.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/
Big fancy publisher, self-publishing, blog it in serialized form, print them out and hand them to the masses on a street corner, just get it out there. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

4. Do a book tour.

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Sign books, shake hands, meet your fans, hope they don’t want to steal your kidney as a prize.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

5. Become rich and famous.

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Yes, become so rich and famous you’ll forget all the hard work…

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all the anxiety, rejection, doubt, derision.

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Don’t forget not to be a scummy rich and famous person.

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6. If 1-5 don’t happen, no worries.

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No one wants to publish my should-be bestsellers (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/),

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but don’t stop me now (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/)!

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I’m going to keep on writing, reading, researching, submitting, getting rejected, being ignored, and only slightly feeling the stings of all the subtle and not-so-subtle scoffing and mocking.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Repeat again and again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/Why? I have to get it all out of my head.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/As for would-be authors of a ‘certain age’, don’t despair, many famous authors didn’t kick-start their written legacy until later in life, not always for lack of trying:

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark Twain, Toni Morrison, Anna Sewell, Bram Stoker,

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Alex Haley, Charles Bukowski, Laura Ingalls Wilder, William S. Burroughs, 

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Raymond Chandler, Frank McCourt, Marquis de Sade (don’t be that guy).

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Even J.K. Rowling and Dr. Seuss

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weren’t spring chickens…oh the places you’ll go (er, Hogwarts?).

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My point? 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30…Write, draw, sing, dance, sculpt, design video games, whatever, creativity doesn’t come with an expiry date, a time stamp – as long as you live you can create.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

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