Last night, as I checked on my beautiful boy, now so grown up, I noted again that time has raced by yet he still looks like my baby when he’s asleep.
Having a child with Autism, those sleep times give you some much-needed downtime and perhaps, a curious understanding of time and dimension, hmm, or maybe that’s too many years of Doctor Who.
In this frenzied world, we need more compassion, appreciation, and hope; less rushing, lies, and bullying. Maybe we don’t have time to stop and smell the roses, but I hope we can at least notice the roses are there.
The best time to take a deep breath is when there’s no time. At the end of your life, I doubt you’ll look back and think, thank goodness I spent my life like a hamster on a wheel, that was sooo fulfilling.
Stop flogging yourself for mistakes. They happen. Learn from them. So you write or say the wrong thing. Fall in love with the wrong person. Press the wrong button and start a nuclear war, ok, that example is pretty much the worst mistake ever, try not to do that one. Time moves forward for a reason, so should you.
Don’t reject someone because you’ve had a bad experience either. That experience taught you something, it had a purpose.
Fall apart once in a while. You’re not always “fine”. Sometimes it’s fine not to be fine.
Trying to be someone you’re not is like trying to hide a dinosaur in your bedroom, it’s too big, smelly, messy, and extinct. Why be someone else, they’re already doing it.
If we have time to shop, play games, check the internet, go on vacation, go out to dinner, we can spare 5 minutes to vote. An hour to volunteer or help someone. We can’t make a difference if we don’t at least try.
Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, think about what you do want to happen.
1. You notice people you care about seem to be taken from you way, way too soon, while those that make you miserable seem to last forever and ever and ever.
2. You hear and read words like friendship and love, they’re thrown around constantly, but you also know if you really feel them, you show them.
3. You begin to realize you can’t change people. You either accept them for who they are…or don’t.
4. You understand that no matter how we feel or what you’re going through, we’re still responsible for what you say and do.
5. You recognize that people look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. No two people read the same book, listen to the same song, watch the same TV show or movie, feel the same pain or joy, walk down the same path, or hear the same things.6. You feel how your heart can be broken into a million torn, anguished bleeding pieces, yet the world doesn’t stop for your sorrow or grief.
8. You realize no one is responsible for your happiness. Make yourself happy, then add people to your mix.
9. You appreciate that people are users, it’s human nature. Some use and are used for money, others for love, comfort, power, control. Just be aware if the using is making you sad, or resentful, sucking your energy, it’s toxic, move on.
10. You know you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
You ruined my life!
My life is ruined!
They’re ruining my life!
People use the word ruin a lot,
I do not think it means
what they think it means.
Your life can be altered,
sometimes in extremely
screwed up royally,
but your life
can’t be ruined…
So what if you:
1. Shared a picture, tweet, post, status update etc. that has offended, disturbed, cost you a job, relationship, friendship, and/or caused massive backlash? Learn from it. People are complex, multidimensional, social media tends to be flat, a moment frozen in time which you have no idea how people are viewing or why, what their filter is, what their life experiences are, etc. It’s so easy to offend on social media, if I haven’t done so already, keep reading, odds are someone will be offended by this.
2. Stayed too long and put too much into trying to save a toxic relationship, whether with a partner, friend, family member? ‘Bad’ relationships can lead to low self-esteem, depression, resentment, fatigue – a waste of time and energy. You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, that isn’t just in poker.
3. Ate too much over the holidays? Spent too much over the holidays? Exercised too little? No use beating yourself up, accept responsibility and change.
4. Fell in love and fell hard…with stuff. It’s easy to do, shopping in stores, online, it’s exciting, it’s cool, it’s fun, everyone praises and envies your stuff; like any addiction you can choose what you feed it. Is the gratification worth the consequences?
5. Believed things you heard or read or watched. We’ve all done it, but there’s a lot of bad or just plain wrong information, especially on the internet. Take things with a hefty truckload of salt.
6. Been complacent. You hoped governments and corporations had your best interests at heart. They don’t. They should. But they don’t.
7. Forgot gratitude and took things for granted. I’m sure we’ve all done this, you get comfortable with people, things and you forget – they can all disappear. It’s so easy to accept, expect, and forget to be thankful. Broken record here, but learn from it.
8. Worried too much about what you say or do. Being yourself is so last year and what if you offend someone or they don’t like something you said or did? You can’t please everyone, so unless you’re hurting someone, this too shall pass. If they don’t like you when you’re really you, move on.
9. Gave up on dreams, decided to settle? It may not be too late, at least to have a modified version of those dreams. Keep trying.
10. You’ve fallen and you stayed there…There’s no time limit on getting back up. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, get up, dust off, you’re back!
Humans want to connect, to be with each other, know each other. From the time there was fire we sat around it talking, laughing, connecting. We want to belong. This is one of the reasons social media has become so popular and can be used for socializing, networking, business, and even scams. There are many joys to be found online and many dangers. by the way, that weird voice is not a relative asking to send money, no one trapped is emailing you, no spies need your help; if anyone is asking for money, information, etc. don’t give it and if you want to know if they’re using a fake image, try Google images (just drag the image and it will tell you where else on the internet that image has been used).
If people only like you because you’re pretending, then they don’t like you, just your acting. They don’t like or love you, they like the role you’re playing. In a world where you’re judged on what you wear, what you drive, what version of a cell phone you carry, who you know, and the size of your house and bank account, being genuine is praised, but not valued. People are going to judge, or complain, or criticize, or disagree, doesn’t mean you should change, be fake, or a knock-off, a wannabe. Think about art, isn’t the original worth a lot more than a replica, a copy?
We should love or respect someone because they’re lovable or worthy of respect and vice versa. Belonging shouldn’t mean not being you.
People talk about dancing like no one is watching, why?
Dance like everyone is watching.
Love like you’ll be hurt, but enjoy the moment and maybe learn from it.
Sing like everyone is listening.
Write like everyone is reading.
Cook like everyone will be eating your food.
Smile because you want to, not because you should.
Don’t worry about if you’ll be accepted, but accepting.
Being yourself is hard. It’s much easier to follow the crowd than be the one to stand up and say why. If you can’t be yourself then what’s the point? I don’t think it’s ever too late to be the real you. That doesn’t mean being the real you should be a real pain for others. Unless being yourself is a murderer, serial killer, a child molester, a rapist, mass murderer, terrorist, or something like that, then be someone completely and utterly different.